Pipsqueak the Pipalicious
It's Pip here.
See, my life's easy. Heck, it's great, the most Pip-alicious, awesome-itastic thing ever. I live in Canterlot, and I'm a unicorn. And I'm seven-turning-eight, which is awesome too. And I'm a pirate! Okay, not really, but pirates are cool, and... yeah.
I got this diary for my birthday, and well, diaries? Everything these days is stored on a magic disk, if you're a unicorn, which is this magicistastic thing that does who-knows-what (I can't do magic yet) or on cloud record if you're a pegasus, and I don't really know what for if you're an earth pony. Probably a quill or something, because earth ponies are so boring! I mean, not earth ponies in general, but from the Appaloosans I've met (I went there on vacation once. It was hot and dry and eugh) all they do is talk about work, work, work! And I guess, well, that's not too bad. After all, Ma. Cansely (that's Mare Cansely, but mom says it's more polite to abb-rev-i-ate it and say "Ma.") says that yeah, we need to all share labor. After all, what if the unicorns don't do their job? The pegasi? And Celestia forbid, the earth ponies?? I know we're not supposed to be mean or unfair (Crystal Heart said it to me and I've been following it ever since) but the earth ponies do most of the work. The pegasi too. Honestly us unicorns are pretty lazy.
Anyway, let's talk about me! And not some boring stupid old ponies. I go to Canterlot Elementary Magic School where I learn to levitate and teleport and all kinds of cool stuff like that, although the only thing I can kind-of, sort-of do is levitate (I'm not in Honors magic, obviously, but that's okay, because Crystal Heart isn't in Honors, either).
Oh, yeah, Crystal Heart. Well, she's just about the most amazing magical epic unicorn ever, even if Co. Strike (that's Colt Strike, by the way) says that she's not good enough for the advanced magic class thing. She's awesome! And pretty, by the way. I think I like her. Not like her as in like, but like... like-like kind of like. Sorry, I guess that's too many likes, but it's true. She's awesome and (did I mention pretty? Well, she's got this beautiful sky-blue mane that kind of looks like cotton candy but you know it's hair because you can't HAVE cotton candy hair, or at least that's what mom says, and pretty pink eyes and a pretty white shimmery coat) really smart. And kind. Remember when Heart said that you should always be fair and kind? I've been following that ever since, because now that I think of it, it's the bestest rule ever. (Thanks, Heart.)