Chapter Four: Birds and Bees and Baby Dragons

The spa was quiet. Quieter than usual. The twins exchanged confused looks as they mixed the facial masks for the two mares, who were always so talkative. Apart from Rarity insisting that she pay for the visit Fluttershy and Rarity had not said a single word to each other since they arrived.

Once the pair were prepped, bundled in their robes and hot towels, they were sat down on long cushioned tables side by side.

Aloe set down a tray carrying two jars of the clay facial between the tables. Staring at the jars Fluttershy at long last broke the silence. "Maybe we could have an herbal bath instead."

"Is something wrong?" Aloe asked. "Is it the table?"

"No the table is fine."

"Is it the aroma? We just changed the mixture of our mud."

"It smells fine, it's just… I really don't want to be around mud today." Fluttershy said nervously, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be any trouble." Her voice trailing off.

Aloe frowned, "I'm sorry Miss Fluttershy the herbal bath is being cleaned. We don't usually get customers so early in the day."

"Oh, never mind then, I don't want to be a bother."

"What about the steam room?" Rarity asked quickly. "That sounds good, right Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy nodded.

"I'll have to ask Lotus," Aloe replied, "but I believe the steam room should be up and running by now."

Picking up the tray, Aloe quietly excused herself, leaving Rarity and Fluttershy alone.

"Fluttershy, dear, this is obviously bothering you terribly. Perhaps it would help to talk about it?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "I don't think so Rarity, all I want to do is forget about it."

"I understand, we won't talk about it."

"Um, D-do you have any plans for lunch Rarity?"

"I'm afraid I'm rather behind on my work. I'll probably just have a sandwich when I get back to the boutique."

Fluttershy stared down at the floor. "Oh, okay."

"Please promise me you won't spend the rest of the day by yourself, you are obviously very upset and I worry about you when you are alone."

"Okay."

The room grew silent again. Fluttershy just stared at the floor.

Twilight stared at the book sitting on the table between her and Spike. She was used to teaching all about a myriad of things, but this one was different. She had explained all the biological and mechanical workings of it, but Spike had questions she didn't know how to answer. Questions she wasn't sure she understood the answer to herself. Questions that involved morals and emotions.

"Pinkie Pie will be here in just a few minutes to talk about reserving the library for a party, why don't you take this book upstairs and read it till we're done?"

"But Twilight, I understand everything the book said, even those really gross bits. That's not what I'm confused about."

"I know Spike, I just need a little while to figure out how to best explain the answers" In truth, Twilight was just hoping Spike would forget that he had questions. She was in way over her head.

There was a knock at the door. Twilight sighed in relief, glad for anything to break this tension. "Coming!" She called.

Twilight opened the door and, sure enough, there stood Pinkie Pie, and for some reason she was wearing a tailcoat. She knew not to question it, the answer was always "It's Pinkie Pie".

"Thank goodness you are here Pinkie, you have no idea what I have been through this morning." Twilight extended a hoof, inviting Pinkie inside.

"I know right, you should hear about my day too, first I went to try out for a dance troupe down at the rec center, they wanted somebody who could breakdance, but I showed up ready for tap. Then I thought that since I was kinda already dressed for it I should try to do some magic tricks. I went down to the joke shop to get some props and met a real magician. He told me it really helps if you are a unicorn and can already do some real magic. So I decided that if the best way to be a magician was to be a unicorn then that had to do that first. So I went to the Everfree forest to find the Fountain of the Three Tribes, but when I got to where it was there was this really old rock that said that King somethingorother blew it up with a great big spell so that they could keep the badguys from becoming alicorns and taking over the world. Then I realized that if I wanted to be a really good magician it would be even better if I was an alicorn instead. So I went to Zecora's place for tea because I mean really, you can't become an alicorn on an empty stomach. So we had tea and these weird little cakes that the zebra people have on special occasions cause of some neat traditions that have something to do with a war that lasted two hundred years and put a curse on a famous zebra king and something I don't remember about an enchanted amulet buried under a huge tree in Ponyville. Well after I left Zecora's hut I headed to the Screaming Caves so I could find the Heart of the World gem cause that's the only way for a non destined pony to get to that place the elements of harmony sent you when you became an alicorn. So I found the gem and when I touched it, sure enough I was transported to that weird place and there was a really old guy there who had a great big long beard and a hat with bells, Starswirler I think his name was. He told me that he could make me into an alicorn but just then my party watch went off telling me I was late for our appointment so I asked him if it was at all possible that he knew a time spell that could send me back in time far enough that I could make it here on time and it turned out that he did Twilight, can you believe it? So I got him to cast it on me and it tickled a little. There was a bright flash and then I was back outside Zecora's hut and I saw me coming up the path but when that me saw me standing there she started screaming something about creating a pair-o'-box or something but I didn't get to hear the whole thing because she started fading away like she didn't exist anymore. So than I came back here and realized that since my watch didn't get reset when I got sent back, I still had time to have another tea time, so I went to the café and met Rainbow Dash there and she told me all about this really neat flying trick she just learned and how she wished I was a pegasus so that I could fly with her and I thought about it and how, if I was an alicorn, I would be able to do magic tricks and flying tricks AT THE SAME TIME!"

"And then I woke up and realized that I was about to be late for our appointment. Oh, by the way Twilight, do you know how to set a party watch?"

"Can't say as I do Pinkie. And just to make sure, all that stuff you just said, all of it was a dream? Ever since that incident with the mirror pond I can't tell if you are being serious or not about those ancient legends."

"I'm pretty sure it was a dream, it did seem pretty real, but I'm pretty sure that if I came back in time and met myself, it would be the me from further on that disappeared. Not the one from the past."

"You have a point, but also, do you remember when I found that spell and went back in time? I think we proved pretty definitively that it is impossible to create a paradox due to the fact that whatever future you does when they go into the past has already happened and so it cannot be changed."

Pinkie waved her hoof in the air and rolled her eyes. "Aww phooey, there's no way that could be true, everypony knows that if that were the case it would conflict with the possibility of having free will."

"Twilight, did you just get out-eggheaded by the party pony?" Spike remarked from across the room.

"No, I'll think of a response. And arent you supposed to be reading that book I gave you?"

"I don't see why I have to, we already know it doesn't have the answers to my questions."

"Ooh, what are we studying? Maybe I can help." Pinkie cooed enthusiastically.

Twilight sighed, leaning forward she whispered into Pinkies ear, "Thanks to Applejack and Fluttershy, today I have to teach Spike about the birds and the bees so that he won't go telling the entire town, and I can't answer his questions."

Pinkie Pie gave a nod, "You mind if I give it a try? I have had to do this before, when I volunteered at the orphanage."

"Be my guest, can't do any worse than me."

"Spike my boy, your auntie Pinkie Pie is here to answer any questions you might have." Sitting down on the couch she patted the space beside her.

Spike hopped up on the couch with her. "Well, I only have a couple. Twilight told me that AJ and Fluttershy are really ashamed of themselves and are afraid to tell anypony. But she also told me that doing those things is a very happy thing that everypony works really hard for. And she also told me that it is very serious thing that nopony should do unless they were really really sure it was the right thing to do."

Spike scratched his head, "I don't see why it is such a big deal, and I definitely don't see how you could be ashamed if you did something that everypony is working hard for."

Pinkie clapped her hooves together and gave a reassuring nod to Twilight "Spike you came to the right place cause I can answer all those questions at once. But it's gonna cost ya."

"What do you mean? What's it gonna cost?"

Pinkie turned to Twilight, and winked "Twilight, you told me that Spike has a scale that came from his mother's tail, and that it is the only thing that he has of hers. Can I have it, I wanna make a hair bow."

"NO! THATS THE MOST SPECIAL THING I HAVE! TWILIGHT, DON'T LET HER HAVE IT!"

Twilight gave Spike a warm smile, "Relax, she isn't really going to take it, she is just illustrating a point."

"Rrrright you are Twilight! You see Spike, one day there is going to be something even more special to you than that scale, you can't touch it, but you can feel it, heck, you've already started on the road to finding it. Ya know what it is?"

Spike shook his head.

"It's love, it's a lot like how you feel when you are around Rarity, and if Rarity asked you for that scale would you give it to her?"

Spike frowned, his brow lowered, that would be a tough decision. "I dunno, maybe, if she really wanted it."

"See Spike? That's how much love means. Those things in that book are meant to be done as a symbol of that love, so in a way it is like giving that scale to somepony, you only want to give it to somepony very very special. You understand?"

Spike nodded, "It really does sound like something wonderful when you say it like that. But why would AJ and Fluttershy be ashamed of doing something like that?"

Pinkie's face was suddenly very serious. "It isn't always simple Spike, In their case there are two things wrong. First is Applejack, her Granny Smith believes that those things should only be done between a mare and a stallion. But Applejack believes that she should be able to do them with whatever pony you love, no matter the gender. But Applejack is afraid of upsetting her granny."

"I agree with Applejack, it's not fair to say that someone can't love someone because of how they are born." Spike huffed.

"Now now Spike, our beliefs are what make us who we are, Granny Smith can believe whatever she wants, she is only wrong if she tries to force her beliefs onto others."

"I guess that makes sense too, what's the other reason?"

"You remember how I asked Twilight for the scale instead of asking you?"

"Uh huh."

"You know how ponies start acting weird when they drink alcohol? Sometimes when you drink too much you don't know what you are doing anymore, and you make decisions that you would never normally make. It's just like if somepony else were giving away your scale. Does it all make sense now?"

"Yeah, thanks Pinkie Pie." Spike leaned over and gave Pinkie the biggest hug his arms could muster. "Um, Twilight, can I put this book up now? Some of these pictures are really gross."

Twilight giggled. "Of course. Just promise you won't go telling anypony else about last night."

"I promise." Spike looked down and shuffled his feet. "And I'm sorry I told Lyra. I didn't know."

"I know you didn't, it's okay, no harm done." Twilight smiled, "Now run along, we have business to discuss."

Spike hopped down from the couch and ran off.

"I can't thank you enough Pinkie, you really saved my skin there. However, you do know he is going to be lugging that scale around everywhere we go for the next month"

"I did say it was gonna cost ya!"