A Brief Interview

by AlesFlamas

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 5540

An interview with everyone's favorite spirit of chaos, going into his personal history, good times and bad

Discord has lived a long and eventful life, filled with chaos, both good and bad. And up to this point he's been content to keep his personal history private. But what fun is there in privacy?

Published 2014-01-17 18:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-17 18:30:04 UTC

A Life Well Lived

"I'd just like to say, Discord, sir, that I greatly appreciate you taking time out of your day to let me interview you."

"I don't see why you're thanking me. I contacted you after all."

"Yes, well. . . ummm. . ."

"Besides, It's not like I had anything better to do today. I'm not allowed to have fun like I used to, so I have a lot of time on my han- err. . . claw and paw."

"Right, right. It must be difficult keeping your chaotic nature under control."

"I must admit though, self-control has its. . . advantages."

"It certainly does. Now before we begin, I'd just like to ask why you seem so somber? For a spirit of chaos, you've made a surprisingly low amount of jokes or witty remarks."

"The amount can't be low if it doesn't exist in the first place. But to answer your question, there are very few things in this world I can't make light of, my little pony. My life story is one of those things."

"I see. Well, I'll try to be sensitive to that. Now, If you could start off by telling me about where you were born. That is, if you were born in the traditional sense."

"Yes. . . where I was born. . .have you ever wondered, little pony, why I'm the only draconequus in Equestria?

"Well, no, I can't say that I have. Now that you mention it though--"

"It's because draconequi aren't born in Equestria. We aren't even conceived on this plane of existence."

"I. . . I'm not sure I understand. Where exactly are you born then?"

"A dimension of beauty beyond your comprehension. A world of unbridled and unparalleled chaos."

"Sounds nice, I guess. Now if you could explain how exactly draconequi are conceived?"

"An interesting subject, that one. Now, I'm sure you've taken at least one of your pony sexual education classes, yes?"

"Yes, I have, actually."

"Well, it's nothing like that. You see, Draconequi, being creatures of whimsy, are mentally incapable of mating for life. It goes against every aspect of our nature. So rather, we mate for death."

"Pardon?"

"When two draconequi, regardless of gender, tire of life, they meld their consciousnesses, release all residual chaotic energy, and in an act of suicidal beauty, two draconequi die and two more are born, carrying traits from both participants."

"Interesting. . . so since what you would consider parents die before you're born, how are draconequi raised?"

"We have a tribunal of sorts. A council of draconequi who are old beyond measure, and who have made it their place to keep some measure of order in our realm. They raise our young until they reach physical maturity, only a year or so. Well, one of our years. In Equestrian time, that's anywhere from a century to two millennium. It's a very confusing system."

"And what happens after you've reached maturity?"

"We're let loose into the chaos. The tribunal feels it is best for young draconequi to discover what quickly what we are born for: to create chaos. Their only law regarding the topic is in relation to murder prevention."

"This tribunal, do they name you?"

"We name ourselves. It takes time, and is a painstaking process, but once we've discovered who we truly are, we give ourselves a name and we leave."

"Leave what?"

"Leave our dimension. Not every world has the pleasure of being as beautifully nonsensical and chaotic as ours. So somewhere along the line it became an unspoken rule that once we named ourselves, we would spread that chaos and nonsense to other worlds."

"Does anyone in the tribunal have a name?"

"None that any can remember. Well, there is one, actually, but I'll touch on that later."

"I see. . . I feel as though we've gone a bit off-topic."

"Yes and no. In order to begin to understand my life, you have to know at least some of my people's customs. So now that you have some basic knowledge regarding my race, we can begin the actual interview."

"Yes, lets."

"Where was it you wanted me to begin again. . . ah, yes, my birth. I was born one of two brothers, in the year 0a11z V.C."

"V.C.?"

"Vanitas Confusio."

". . ."

"It means baseless chaos."

"Oh."

"Anyhow the conception of my brother and I had been hailed as one of great renown. We had been born from two members of the council, and as such , we had been born with names. My name, of course, was Discord. My brother. . . well his name isn't pronounceable in this tongue, so let's just call him 'Q'. Being the spawn of tribunal ancients that we were, my brother and I were treated as something of a special case. Such an event was unprecedented, after all. So naturally, the first year of our lives was filled constant poking and prodding, with the remaining members of the tribunal trying to see if we had retained any of our predecessors memories, and trying to figure out whether our lineage made us any different from other draconequi. It was torture."

"They tortured you?"

"Not in the literal sense, no. But our confinement, our essential imprisonment by the curiosity of the tribunal may as well have been. We were not allowed to wreck havoc as others were wont to do. The tribunal felt it disgraceful to our heritage. Anyways, they eventually stopped there testing, finding nothing that could differentiate us from normal draconequi. But that's when the molding began. They gave us lessons on the proper control of chaotic energy, on the governing of a chaos-based society. Imagine going to school where the only other student is your brother and every lesson teaches you something that goes against everything your culture stands for."

"I think I missed something. What exactly were they. . . 'molding', I believe you said?"

"They were providing us with knowledge we would need once we were old enough to become members of the tribunal. I myself was told I was to be the head councilman. It was not a prospect I looked forward to. And, thankfully, a prospect I would not have to face for quite some time. After that first year of boredom and dreariness, the tribunal allowed us the time we would need to 'sow our wild oats', so to speak. You should have seen the joy Q felt that day. He was the embodiment of everything a draconequus should be: carefree, full of whimsy, living for the moment, living only to spread chaos. But I. . . I was different. I wondered and wondered at my lot in life. Why had the draconequus before me, my namesake, given up his life when he had already lived so long? And why was I forced to bear his name anyway? Was I truly worthy of the name Discord? As you can imagine, in a culture centered around the perpetuation of chaos, a name like mine isn't just handed out or taken lightly. In fact, in the history of the draconequi, there have only been two other Discords, one of them being my predecessor.
"Anyway, as I wondered I found myself growing bitter and angry at all those around me. Here were all these draconequi, flying about on journeys of self-discovery, with the privilege, the right, the liberty to name themselves! And yet by some twist of fate, I had been stuck with a name I would be forced to grow into. I was not allowed to grow into myself, to become who I wanted to be, because they all expected me to grow into some sort of leader, some sort of god, made to preserve what little balance there was in our world. Some praised me for it, and I despised them for the attention. Some ridiculed me for it and I despised them for insulting me. Others still told me that regardless of my name, I was free to be whatever I pleased. I despised them for lying. The only ones I could tolerate were those like my brother, the ones that didn't care who I was one way or the other. They felt nothing for me and so I felt nothing for them.

"But even then, something about there carefree lives forced me to harbor some sort of resentment. None of them could understand my plight. I felt like a starving manticore, whose shackles were just short enough to keep me from my meal; I knew what I was supposed to be, what was wanted of me, but I just couldn't find it within myself to become it. I fell into a black depression, and I could barely move, the sadness was so overpowering.?

"Oh my. How did you get out of it?"

"I met them."

"Them?"

"Two nameless draconequi, a brother and sister. They came to visit me one day, presumably fascinated by the rumor of the motionless draconequus, who slept in a log down by the river. I was angered at first, believing they had simply come to gawk at the anomaly that was the failure who could not live up to his name. But they did not gawk. They tried to talk to me. They wanted to know about me. The sister even asked me a question about my name."

"Being?"

"If I was so unhappy with my name, why didn't I change it. The thought had never occurred to me. My sadness was too great to respond and after about an hour of unanswered questions and awkward silences, they left. I assumed that was the last I would see of them. I was wrong. The next day, the girl came to me by herself. She sat there for quite some time, in front of my log, just staring. And I stared back. She eventually began to talk to me, telling me how lucky I was, to have a name to grow into. Having a set path, she said, provided for a more stable life. I wanted with all my heart to be upset with her. . . but her voice was so soft, so sweet. And somewhere in the back of my mind I wanted to believe what she'd said about a stable life. But my bitterness was too strong. I had managed to suppress my sorrow to a degree though, so I mustered my strength and turned my head to her. By draconequus standards, she was quite ugly. She was almost perfectly symmetrical, with two gazelle horns, lion paws for hind legs, and bear claws for forearms. I found a certain peace in it though. The symmetry, hideous as it was, was kind of. . . endearing. Like a three-legged dog, cute, but deserving of pity.

"For one reason or another, she was incredibly pleased when I turned my head. I couldn't understand it, and I doubt she did either. Anyway, after that minor movement, I didn't have the energy for anything else. So I just sat there, staring and listening. I learned that she was a century older than me, young by the standards of our race, but still surprising given she hadn't yet found her name yet. She and her brother were outcasts of sorts, apparently, due to her atrocious symmetry and her brothers. . . well, she never told me exactly what made her brother such an outcast. Honestly, I didn't care.

"Her stories were finished, and she fell silent, but she did not leave. She just laid down in front of my log and stared. My heart raced and could feel my cheeks heating up. She smiled at me but I couldn't find it in me to smile back. I lost track of the minutes, of the hours, her smiling and I staring blankly. But eventually, she yawned. She had to get going, she said, her brother would start to worry, she said. But I didn't care about her brother. I wanted to ask her to stay, but again I could say nothing."

"I'm detecting a pattern here."

"Well, I would hope you possess such a basic ability. But anyway, she left, and I slept, and still she was with me. Even in my dreams, I couldn't stop thinking about her and there was nothing I could do to understand it. But she soothed my sorrow and made me forget my bitterness, if only temporarily. She continued to visit me, sometimes with her brother, sometimes without. She would talk to me about things she had learned, dimensions she'd discovered, names she'd considered giving herself. Sometimes she would bring me gifts, such as a rose made out of rose quartz, and the like. And everyday she came, regardless of whether or not she brought her brother, or gave me a gift, or told me a story, I grew happier. I could hold my head up without strain, I could sit without feeling the need to sleep, and ,on at least one occasion, I laughed. This made her happier than anything I'd ever seen, and in turn, it made me happy.

"One day when she'd come by herself, I felt compelled to let her know she wasn't talking to a wall, silent as I'd been throughout our conversations. So when she'd finished her explanation of why butterflies can never be made of actual butter, I tried to let her know just how interesting I thought it was. But the words stopped dead in my mouth when I realized I didn't know how to refer to her. She had no name, so what would I call her when we spoke? She saw that I'd been about to say something, and her eyes lighting up, she asked me what the matter was. The words stuck to my tongue like peanut butter, but I still managed to tell her. And I said, 'Well. . . it's just that I was wondering what I could call you,' and she replied with 'You can call me friend.' My heart nearly melted at this statement. Then I told her that wasn't what I meant, and she asked me what I did mean. I told her that I needed something special to call her. I could call for for friend and any number of draconequi could answer. I needed something, that if called, only she would answer to. She told me what I called her was my decision. She was just happy to finally hear me speak.

"I thought for a moment, debating with myself over what I should call her. Of course it would only be temporary. It would become null as soon as she discovered herself and found her own name. But for however long she used it, it would be special. So I though about everything In knew about her, which wasn't all that much. She was kind, her voice was soft, and she was the first draconequus I'd met who could interact with me without harping on my name. She was the only creature I knew that I could call my friend. Only one name came to mind and I couldn't help but think how dumb it sounded. But it was what I thought fit her. So I said, 'I want to call you Fluffy.' She didn't laugh as I'd expected. In fact, she started to cry. She told me that it was a good name. She appreciated me giving it to her. I told that I hadn't meant for the name to be permanent. But she was adamant about keeping it. She got up up from the patch of ground where she'd been sitting and said she'd be back tomorrow. I wanted to ask her to stay, but again the words died. And as I watched her tail swing as she disappeared over the horizon, I realized why she made me so at peace. So far as I was aware. I was the first draconequus to have fallen in love.

"The next day instead of waiting for her to come to me, I decided to go looking for Fluffy, maybe surprise her with a gift of my own. I went to what you would consider our town square: the nexus of chaotic energy in our world. All the draconequi were in a state of panic. They screamed at me, begging me to become their savior, to rescue them and live up to my namesake's legacy. I had no idea what they were talking about so I just kept walking and--"

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but--"

"Not too sorry obviously."

"Umm. . .yeah. . . well, I just wanted to know, what ever happened to your brother?"

"Pardon?"

"Q, what happened to Q?"

"Oh. Well, we lost contact with each other around the time I fell into my depression. He could be anywhere, doing anything. Our chaotic abilities, as you might know, include shapeshifting. So it wouldn't be easy to track him down. For all I know, he could be galavanting across the vastness of some highly advanced, space-based dimension, harassing the captain of some legendary star ship."

"That's oddly specific."

"Or he could be dead. That's also a possibility. Now may I continue with my life story?"

"Yes, you may."

"As I was saying: I kept walking and the farther I went, the darker and heavier the air around me seemed. Something bitter and angry, more powerful than even my own resentment, had made the air so thick with it's negativity, it was almost as if every breath I took would choke me. I didn't know what to make of it. . . until I saw it.

"I saw Fluffy's brother, sitting, seemingly contemplating, atop a pile of no less than a dozen draconequian corpses. The sight fascinated me, though in retrospect, I probably should have been horrified. Without looking at me, he asked a question. He asked, 'Did my sister ever tell you why I'm such an outcast, Discord?' I tld him she hadn't. He said, 'The moment a draconequus discovers their name is a very special one. It's a personal epiphany, a summarization of our being, compacted into a single word. That moment was stolen from me. . . . A name is a name, regardless of where it comes from. Even if it is meaningless, it is the job of the names wielder to give it meaning. I believe I have fulfilled that duty today.'

I wasn't sure what to make of it all. At that moment, the brother turned his head and glanced at me from the corner of his eye, and his gaze, not even focused completely on me, filled me with fear. He spoke again, saying 'I have to thank you. For giving my sister a name I mean. I don't think you have any concept of how happy you made her. And now that I know she's found something that can make her happy, I can finally leave this pathetic world, and find one where my evil will be law; a world that will learn to fear the name "Aku".' After this, he stood upon his throne of death, snapped a talon on his left claw and opened a dimensional rift. And as he stepped through it, I could faintly hear him say, 'Take care of her, Discord.' As with my brother, I never saw him again."

"Wow. Absolutely enthralling. But can you tell me something?"

"I've been telling you a great many things."

"You have, yes, but I want to know: what does "Aku" mean?"

"I."

"I? It means I?"

"I do believe that's what I just said."

"Well that's not much of a name."

"The tribunal shared your sentiments. As I learned later, they broke Aku's spirit with their refusal to acknowledge the validity of his name. It drove him mad."

"Oh. . . well, thank you for elaborating. Now if you could continue."

"I would, if you would stop interrupting. Anyhow, after Aku left, I kept looking for Fluffy. I searched all day, looking everywhere she had told me she enjoys spending time. But to no avail. I began to worry, but I was too tired to keep searching. So I decided to return to my log and keep looking the next day. But low and behold, there she was, already sleeping in it. She seemed so at peace, the smile on her face an indicator of happy dreams. It was something I wanted to preserve, that smile. So I resolved to find a way to keep it on her face for the rest of our days.

"I didn't sleep too well that night, the blanket of butterfly wings I had fabricated failing to keep me very warm. But I felt I'd slept enough for one lifetime, anyway. Fluffy must have been waiting for me to wake-up, no sooner had I opened my eyes that she was asking me if I believed her brother would ever return. I answered as honestly as I could. I did not believe he would return, not just because the rift he tore was one-way only, as most are, but because if he were to return , the tribunal would waste no time tearing him down. She wasn't surprised at my answer. She seemed almost like she'd expected it. We sat in silence for a handful of minutes. She broke it with a question.

"She asked me, 'Discord, do you love me?' I said, 'You know I do.' But apparently she hadn't. She blushed a shade of red I have yet to re-encounter. And before I could give it a second thought, I found myself kissing her, passionately and awkwardly. Intimate romance is a foreign concept to my kind, so I had no idea what kissing was supposed to be like. If anything, it was more like I was trying to eat her face. But I feel I got my intentions across with it. My desire to keep her safe, my intense love for her, and many other emotions besides: all encompassed in that kiss. Her fear of what would happen without her brother around, her reciprocated love for me, emotions I wasn't even aware existed: this is what I received in turn. It shocked me that so much confusion could exist in any one creature, even one born to spread chaos. So in an attempt to ease that confusion, I promised her that she wouldn't have to be afraid anymore. I told her my love for her would never die. And I promised her we would be together unto our re-birthing day. All she did in response was hold me close and cry into my shoulder. I'd never heard her cry before.

"I slept soundly that night, dreaming of the life Fluffy and I would spend together. It was the first sound sleep I'd had in quite some time. And to this day, it has been the last I've ever known. I woke up the next morning to find Fluffy was no longer lying next to me. I wasn't too concerned, but I was eager to spend my time with her, so I went off in search of her. As I meandered about, I noticed the draconequi I passed by looking unnaturally happy, the kind of happy derived from the enjoyment of the pain of another. I recognized as the look I'd seen on Aku's face as he left our world. I stopped a passerby, curious as to why they were all so joyous. The only answer I could get was that 'the dark one was going to pay for his crimes.' This confused me deeply, as Aku had been the so-called 'dark one.' Had he returned, I wondered? Had the tribunal summoned him to make him atone for the murder of so many? Gripped by my curiosity, I made my way to the chaos nexus, our equivalent of a town square. Gathered there was a monstrously large crowd of draconequi, all of them chanting, 'Make her pay, make her pay.' Again, I was confused, as Aku had been a male. So who could they be punishing? I flew above the crowd, to get a better look at things. What I saw stopped my heart dead in my chest.

"Fluffy stood, or rather, was being levitated, in the center of the crowd, bound by ethereal chaos energy at her fore and hind limbs. She was frightened and even from my height I could see the tears streaming down her face. I flew twards her only to be stopped by two members of the tribunal. They told me the nameless draconequus was to be punished in place of her brother, and treated as though she herself had performed the crime. I screamed at them, telling them that she wasn't nameless and that it wasn't fair she was being punished for something she didn't have anything to do with. But they wouldn't listen. They simply continued to hold me back. The head of the tribunal had materialized next to Fluffy at that point, and had begun spouting garbage about the abomination of a false name and the disgusting nature of symmetry and other such nonsense. It was a good five minutes before he got to what he had in store for Fluffy. 'To prevent another massacre,' he said, 'and to pay tribute to those who had been slain, the sister to the dark one was to be executed, lest she follow done the path paved by her brother.' I cried out in anger and fear, unaware of what horrible fate might befall Fluffy. None but she seemed to hear me. She looked up at me, and I looked down at her. Her tears were poison to my emotions and all I could feel was the bitterness and fury I'd tried so hard to suppress. We stared at each other, held back by bindings both physical and magical. The only word I heard from the tribunal head in the duration of our stare was 'atomize.' At that word, Fluffy smiled at me. I couldn't find it in me to smile back. She mouthed something to me, and to this day I'm unsure of what she was trying to say, but whatever it was, it was the last she ever said. The tribunal heads paw began to glow, an I couldn't bare to watch as my other half was erased from existence. So I closed my eyes. When I opened them not five seconds later. . . she was gone."

"What did they do to her?"

"She was atomized. Torn molecule from molecule and scattered across all existence, with no way of being put back together or revived."

"How. . .how awful. How did you handle it?"

"I don't know. After I opened my eyes and caught sight of the empty space my love had been, I couldn't handle it. My emotions overflowed."

"What happened then?"

"Something amazing, I guess. I'd be more detailed, but that little overflow I just mentioned made me black out. I don't know what happened between then and my coming to my senses. All I know is that when I came to, I met a stallion, learned he was a reaper, and found out I'd ended up in some place called Equestria."

"I'm afraid I don't know what a reaper is."

"I wouldn't expect you to. A reaper is a shepherd of the dead and collector of lost souls. They ensure that a balance is kept between the amount of living and the amount of dead in any given world."

"I have the feeling you just told me something I shouldn't know."

"Get used to that feeling. The reaper educated me quite swiftly on the laws of the land and inhabitants of the world I'd landed in. All the happy, hardworking ponies, living together in peace and harmony. It sickened me. Why should they be allowed happiness when my only source of joy torn from me? Luckily for me, the reaper, whose name was Dread, shared my sentiments. He'd grown tired of the peace Equestria had come to know, and was in the mood for war and destruction. I was more than willing to provide. I flew across the land searching for ponies just as bitter as I was and with more than a little brainwashing, spread chaos throughout all of Equestria with my new-found disciples, whom the other ponies had named the children of Ragnarok."

"I've never read anything about this before."

"It wouldn't be in any book you know about."

"Well then. Anyhow, who exactly were these 'children'?"

"Let's see. . . ah, yes, now I recall. The Flamas twins, Vervada and Bellator, conquest and war being their respective talents; Plagius, whose talent was the creation and spread of disease. Then Gluttony. . . he was something. A cannibalistic stallion with an insatiable appetite. I never really understood what his talent was. Many counted Dread as a part of the 'children' as well, though he never took part in any of the destruction himself."

"Why have I never heard about any of these ponies?"

"There are many moments in Equestrian history that would be better left buried. The story I've been telling you is one of them."

"Then why are you telling it to me?"

"Because it's my story to tell. Anyhow, the 'children' and I spread chaos and fear throughout Equestria for a good five years. But then they came. Those two alicorns, preaching their message of harmony and peace."

"Princess Luna and Celestia?"

"Hmm? No, their parents. Vanitas and Galaxia. The lord of nothing and the queen of all. They had not only subdued the 'children' but managed to convince all but Dread to join their cause. I was infuriated. I refused to allow these pathetic ponies to defeat me, deprive me of yet another joy. So I enslaved a race. I ruled Equestria and sought to control the rest of the world as well. So with Vanitas and the 'children' at my command, as well as the entirety of the Equestrian forces, I started war after war, with dragons and griffins and changelings. But strangely enough, the more destruction I caused, the sadder I became. My once great anger had fizzled, leaving a hole of bitter regret. I sat alone for months, thinking to myself. I was ready to die, or at least I felt tha way. But then it happened. They came."

"They who?"

"The second generation of the Elements of Harmony. The Guardians, as they would come to be called."

"Could I get some names?"

"Unfortunately, that isn't my place. I can provide nicknames though. There were Vervada's twin sons, the Dragonborn and the Hoofed Phoenix. Then there was the Winter Blossom, the Death Jester, the Omnismith, and the. . . ummm. . . funny, that last one seems to be escaping me. But they were all from different walks of life, mish-mashed into a group so lacking in symmetry, it would've impressed any normal draconequus. And I would have been impressed had they not imprisoned me in stone."

"I'm willing to bet that's not where the story ends though."

"The story never really ends. But these chapters in particular aren't mine to share."

"Then lets just focus on your chapters, okay?"

"Right, right. I was trapped in that stone for a little over a decade. It was a decade of contemplation and reflection. From my prison, I was given the opportunity to see what bitterness and vengeful anger can do to a creature. It nearly destroyed Equestria, and killed Vanitas, Galaxia, and nearly all the Guardians. I didn't want to be that way anymore. Not ever again. So I escaped from my statue confinement and spread whimsical chaos, rather than destructive. You Equestrians don't seem to enjoy chaos in any form though, so again I was imprisoned, this time by the princesses and this time for a millenium. And again I escaped, an event most Equestrians are quite familiar with."

"Yes, when Princess Sparkle and the other Elements of Harmony sealed you away."

"Yes, that one."

"Which leads me to ask: how did you escape that time?"

"They released me. They felt they could cure me of my chaotic nature and use me as a force for good. Unfortunately. . . no, fortunately. Fortunately they were right."

"What could possibly make you reform?"

"Her?"

"Fluffy?"

"No. Somepony like her though. A quiet mare, green eyes, soft, pink mane. I pretend like I forget her name, but I don't really. Her name is Shutter- I mean, Fluttershy. And she's the first real friend I've had in a very long time.Fluffy can never be replaced, but. . . Fluttershy has certainly filled a hole."

". . .That's awfully sweet. I think I have everything I need, Mr. Discord. You can go whenever you like."

"Your welcome, Miss. . . I don't believe I ever caught your name."

"It's Fluffy. No relation, of course."

"Of course. It's a good name. And I know I called you here to talk, but I'd like to thank you."

"For what?"

"For listening. I've never really been able to talk to anypony this way. It's liberating. Thank you again, Fluffy."

"You're welcome, Mr.Discord."