The Diary of a Ghost

by TC Valley

Chapters

(CH1) Friendship is TINGLY. Get it Right.
(CH2) The Following Day...
(CH3) NO ONE DIED, STOP ASKING.
(CH4) ...No One Dies Twice, You Idiots!
(CH5) ...I... I Lied.

(CH1) Friendship is TINGLY. Get it Right.

(CH1) Friendship is TINGLY. GET IT RIGHT.

Entry: #1

Date: July 8th

(It pains me to write this) Dear Diary,

My first entry in this book. I'm new to diaries, and I have no idea how to begin.

So, let's start with a pointless description of the outdoors! That should do something useful, I guess.

The sun is bright, and the sky is all blue, and clear, and all those adjectives. Well, I think it is. I can’t exactly see all that well anymore. I lost quite a bit of my vision a while ago. By that, I mean I have no pupils. At all.

...Long story.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to see without pupils?

My recommendation: Don’t try it at home. Blindness is a real jerk.

But I’ll get ‘em back. Eventually.

Oh, wait a second! I never told you who I was, did I? Huh…

…Guess I didn’t drink enough coffee this morning. Considering the fact that I never drink coffee.

Name’s Beyond. Some of my few pals call me Bey, and that’s pronounced Bay, like the body of water. I don’t know if Discord started playin’ around with their minds, if he’s trying to get back at me for one of my pranks, or if they just need to sleep more, but honestly.

Of all the nicknames in Equestria, I get Bey.

Three words.

Just my luck.

...Actually, I hate luck. Scratch that. SCRATCH SCRATCHING THAT.

...I don't even know anymore.

Anyway, I ought to tell ya more about myself, right? Because you care so much…

Well, you are a book. I see no reason not to tell you.

Alright, I’ll start off with the part everyone gets wrong. They all seem to think that I’m an albino earth pony with no pupils. And they’re two thirds right. While I am an earth pony, and while I do lack pupils, I am most certainly not an albino. Being a ghost makes you look pure white add slightly translucent. BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN SEE THROUGH ALBINOS.

But, yes. Gasp. Shake your head. Get it out of your system. I’m dead.

Well, it really shouldn't be a surprise if you read the cover.

Actually, what the heck are you doing in here if you read the cover? WHY IS YOU SKULL NOT SOMEWHERE THAT THEY CAN'T FIND IT?!

...Lock your windows tonight.

Anyway...

In reality, if this journal wasn’t charmed to interact with the souls of the living and dead, I wouldn’t even be able to write this.

Aside from that, another thing I'm always getting asked is, "What's wrong with your voice?"

NOTHING. NOTHING is wrong with my voice. What's wrong with YOUR voice? HMMM?

When you die, your vocal chords don't exactly go with you, let alone do their spiritual versions cooperate with your now spiritual form.

See, when I speak, it sounds like I'm speaking into a technoizer. And yes, I did just invent that word. What I mean is that my voice literally sounds electronic.

And you know what? I CAN'T HELP THAT. So deal with it.

Anyway, I’m a ghost, yes. So that means I lived once, right? I used to live in the memories of my friends and family, after I died. But they all either died themselves or forgot about me (comedy = tragedy + time, but in this case, comedy = my voice. KEEP LAUGHING.). And according to the rules, a ghost will not fade until they are forgotten entirely.

Of course, I found a loophole. Everything has a loophole. Heheh. Heheh... HEHEHEHEHEH *Ahem*.

It didn’t say specifically that the living needed to remember you to keep you from fading. So I remember myself, and I don’t fade.

Been working so far.

Genius, eh?

I know I'm a genius already. Thank you for restating the obvious. (Did I mention I'm incredibly sarcastic? No? Well, now you know.)

I don’t see any good reason to fade, anyway. I mean, if you died and came back as a ghost, wouldn’t you have fun scaring the heck out of everyone? Because I know I do.

I just wish I could interact with a camera to show you pictures of their expressions when I pop through a wall. Priceless!

...Actually... no one saw that. No one read that. No one. My plans shall not be foiled.

Oh, and not everyone can see me. Only the ones who have seen me in their dreams can see me in the conscious world. But I can choose who dreams of me, and who doesn't. I can also make ponies pass out on the spot, just to introduce myself, or say hi. Pretty funny when a new guard is talking to one of the princesses and just passes out.

But it's not like I would ever do that. I'm a good ghost.

...Quit lookin' at me like that!

Anyway, the few who can see me are usually curious to how I died. Well, on the day that was believed to be the apocalypse, a gigantic meteor crashed into Equestria, but made sure it hit me first. Conveniently. My whole body was obliterated in fire and pressure in about a half of a second. No pain, though. Lucky me.

Can’t be a true ghost without a sudden, unexpected death, eh?

But as far as I’m aware, I’m the only dead spirit in Ponyville. I mean, I’ve been around for a really long time, and I’ve never seen another like me.

Except for him...

Oh, wait. I forgot, you have no idea what I'm talking about. OR DO YO- no you don't.

...So sue me.

I'm talking about another ghost I've met. Well, the only other ghost I've met. Polaris. I'm surprised he even became a ghost, with the way he died. Slow, tragic, and alone.

To be descriptive, he's a pegasus. He's also the only ghost I've ever seen that's yellow tinted, but that's mostly because I'm the only ghost I've ever seen besides him. He's incredibly arrogant, and only ever revealed himself to me. I'm pretty sure no one else knows he exists.

That was quite a meeting...

...And he can also speak through telepathy, and he will when he can, but he's generally pretty quiet. I hate when he speaks through telepathy. His voice is so dang annoying...

Well, going on to what had happened today, I was still in my house. It was pretty early in the morning, but late enough for me to say “this morning”. Say, 10:00?

I’m not that good with time.

Anyway, l decided it was about time to head on over to SugarCube Corner. The others asked me to meet them there. Well, it wasn't all of them. More just the sonic one. She seemed really excited about… something. She said that all the others’d be there, and that I better show up.

So I figured I may as well. Saturdays can get really inactive and draggy.

My little assumedly “abandoned” home is pretty small, and made mostly of wood. But it’s comfortable, and I can live in it. Or carry out my spiritual existence in it, anyway.

Well, standing in one spot wasn't gonna get me to my second graveyard. I had to actually move to go places.

(...Darn...)

Well, I hoped the others'd be there. The Rainbow one loves pranks.

Since I have no need for… normal means of movement, I turned to my left, and phased through the green wall in front of me. Good color, green. Symbolizes life, and nature.

Wish I was green...

Anyway, I arrived in the uneventful streets of the small town I lived in… Well, I wasn’t liv- you know what, you get the idea.

SugarCube Corner was actually pretty close to my home. A few turns down the quiet streets, and your eyes are assaulted by pink…

…Pink everywhere may seem like torture, but you get used to it.

The door was rather thick, for a door. I mean, it was about two inches of wood. Who needs that much wood on a door? That’d be a bit more helpful on the walls…

But that doesn’t matter. Once my vision returned from walking through the closed entrance, I immediately recognized four neon colored ponies. They were sitting at a nearby table, smiling, talking, and giggling.

Trust me when I say, my six friends are not the kind of ponies you wanna mess with. They essentially killed the King of Chaos. That’s not exactly something a normal group could do. And a normal group? They’d be turned into popcorn or tables or something, knowing Discord.

But I wasn’t moving towards Discord at the moment. The four mares sitting caught sight of me, and more or less waved their hooves in my direction. I looked to my left, and noticed a stallion looking at them like they were crazy, and glancing at where I was standing.

I could feel my eyes sparkle. If that's even possible. I'm not really sure. But I knew I would have fun with him later. Introductions are always the best times to scare the heck out of them.

Oh, and I did introduce myself to all six of them, so they all could see me. I managed to get each of them to scream, except the pink one. Actually, she kind of scared me...

She did things in that dream that no one should be able to do...

Anyway, I reached them, and took one of the five seats. Well, kind of. I’ll just say this to prevent further confusion: ghosts cannot interact with the physical world at all. We can fly, essentially. But I prefer to act like a normal pony, so I try my best to make it look like I’m walking on the ground.

“Hey, Bey!”

“Howdy, Beyond!”

“Hi!”

“Good you made it, darling!”

Love the way Rarity addressed me. How many people say hi to a ghost by calling them 'darling'? She's really something...

Let’s see… I believe the present were Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity, obviously.

“Oh, where the heck could they be? I’ll never find them if they stay this quiet,” I greeted them, providing them with a usual dose of my sarcasm.

Which they no doubt loved.

You know, sarcasm can brighten up your day, while gloomening everyone else’s? ...Ever try it? It’s quite fun.

...100% Beyond Approved. (That sounds... off...)

They all kept up their talking after I took on a rather neutral expression and leaned against the table. I looked over at the very confused stallion, who returned my gaze emptily, unaware of my presence. I smiled evilly, for good measure. Who wouldn't?

...STOP SHAKING YOUR HEAD.

The door decided to burst open a few moments later, accompanied by a very disruptive cyan pegasus, who was being tailed by a certain Fluttershy. It felt like Rainbow broke the sound barrier on her way over to the table. She could move faster than anything I’ve seen, save a certain meteor that ended my life. The yellow pegasus trotted over to the table slowly, but cheerily, with a happy smile gracing her face.

“So, you all know why you’re here, right?” she jumped up behind my chair, leaning through me.

I was not in the mood to see the internal organs of ponies, so I got up, and stood next to my chair instead.

...Being a ghost is a blessing and a curse.

“Of course we do! If I said, ‘everyone come to my house, I have something I want to show you!’ wouldn’t you know why you were asked to come?” I remarked. I was really trying to get the sarcasm to drip from my voice.

And my comment was ignored almost entirely.

GO FLIPPING FIGURE.

“…Anyway… I wanted you guys to see this!” the cyan one extended her hoof, and placed something on the table.

This little thing was odd and lumpy, and also appeared to be made of… gold? Gold…

Looked like a cloud statue. A little cloud made of gold.

Normal day in Equestria.

“I was clearin’ some clouds up yesterday, when I came across this little guy,” she patted it like a living being. I rolled my non-existent eyes. She can be too much sometimes. But so can I. “Isn’t it awesome?!”

Twilight’s horn began to glow, with a similar aura enveloping the cloud, and her eyes focused on something behind me. I looked back and saw nothing. She must have been zoning out, or really tired. She looked both.

...Late night reading I suppose. Wait, that's way to formal. I guess. (Much better)

“Wow, Rainbow Dash! That is real gold! How did you even find it?” she asked, reaching toward it. She must have been casting some authenticity spell. Unicorns would be great at antiques if that is what she did.

“Oh, it fell out of one of the clouds I smashed,” she grabbed the little treasure from the table jealously. “It also has a little bit of writing on it. I have no idea what it says though.”

“Really? Let me see!” Pinkie materialized next to the sonic one and somehow snagged the item from her. “Hmmm… this lettering is weird," she looked at the wording with squinted, focused eyes. "I can’t tell what it says!” She was somehow holding Rainbow away from her hooves, and her little golden cloud.

...Is it bad that I liked watching her struggle? Say no.

“Twilight, would you?” I asked, gesturing toward the gold-clad cloud. Her horn glowed, enveloping me and the little item.

...Magic is tingly.

...So, if friendship is magic, and magic is tingly, then is friendship tingly?

Oooh, I have some correcting to do.

“What are you doing?! Don’t touch it!” Rainbow jumped at the cloud.

I snickered. She really is funny when she gets panicky. “Too late.” The gold piece appeared in my hoof. I glanced over the lettering. Lord, it was tiny. It said something along the lines of this:

“dnuoF rednuhT- !sniatnuoM gnirevihS eht hguorht elbissecca yltnerappa si tI !noisnemiD weN ehT detacol evah eW ”

I have only one thing to say to the maker of this thing.

YOUR LOGIC IS AMAZING.

Bet now that I look back on it, the pattern was so simple. I feel like such an idiot for not recognizing it. But oh well.

What happens, happens.

“Well now. This is interesting,” I shook my head, and Twilight recollected it next to herself. She lifted it with her magic, and found the small inscription. Her eyes lit up, and a mirror materialized, floating before the cloud. Rarity was almost completely smothered by it, and stood up with the majority of those present. Only Applejack and Twilight were sitting at that point.

“Aha!” she exclaimed rather loudly. “‘We have located The New Dimension! It is apparently accessible through the Shivering Mountains! -Thunder Found'. Looks like you found something rare, Dash!” The mirror vanished into thin air.

I had already lost most of my interest, and I was walking toward a nearby wall. “Well, that’s cool. Enjoy your cloud, Das-”

“What!? The New Dimension? That sounds so awesome! Don’t you guys wanna see it?” Dash looked shocked at my reaction.

“Do you think that all the clouds in that “New Dimension” are made of gold?! If they are, then I don’t care if I have to go alone. I’m going,” Rarity dramatically exclaimed.

“I’d like to look into it,” Twilight, studious as ever, shared her comment.

“Would I!?” Pinkie bounced around the room with excitement.

“Ok,” Fluttershy murmured.

“I’m up for an adventure,” Applejack spoke.

They all looked over at me. I was TRYING to phase through the wall and let the crazy mares have their adventures, but the looks on their faces told me they were intent on getting me to go with them.

Which pained me.

My last adventure had me murdered.

...Being murdered isn't fun. Don't try it at home.

(A friendly message from your local Beyond!)

“Bey? You comin’?” They all continued staring.

“You guys can just go. I’ll stay around here. I have people to frighten, eh?” I smirked, looking at the stallion who was just watching the mares, mouth agape.

“Aww, come on, Bey! You know it’ll be better than last time!”

I looked at Rainbow Dash, attempting to show as much pain in my expression as I could. It seemed to work, because her eyes got much bigger, and she looked down at the ground after being kicked by Twilight under the table.

“O…oh. Right. Sorry…” she apologized, rubbing her now-bruised hind leg.

I simply walked out of the bakery through the wall, and started home.

Ghosts don’t need adventure.

At least, I don’t need adventure.

After that, I trotted on home. I decided, looking up at the sky, which was still all blue and adjective-loaded, that I wouldn't go with them.

I'd follow them.

And I'll take this book with me to write what happens.

The life of a ghost can be boring, so why not have a little fun? I might even be able to get Discord to help. He is a good friend of mine, after all. Heheh.

After I got home, I walked through the wall to this room, and started writing.

And I have no idea how to end this.

So.. uh... Yea.

Signing off,

Beyond

P.S.: Remember to ask Twilight about the spell she used on the golden cloud, and if it works on cameras!

(CH2) The Following Day...

Entry: #2

Date: July 9th

...Dear Diary,

Yesterday flew by after I returned home, like the breeze that cool, happ- ah, screw it. Writing descriptively is irritating. Besides I couldn’t even feel the breeze.

Actually, I don’t think there was one.

...I'll just leave weather to the pegasi.

See, when you’re a ghost, days feel like they move much faster. Even so, I didn’t do all that much after yesterday’s entry. I did manage to ask Twilight about her ghost-touch spell (which she gave some impossibly long name, like spiritual materialization or something, and I pretended I cared so she'd cast it), and found out that it does work on cameras. Only problem is, cameras can’t move through walls.

…Stupid physical rules…

Guess the only way to show you their faces would have to be along the lines of scaring Fluttershy. She’s the only one I can think of who would look scared for long enough that I could enter her home through a window or front doorway to take a picture.

...That sentence was really long.

But I’d never scare her. Intentionally. I’m not heartless.

Well, technica- EVERYTHING HAS TO BE DIFFERENT JUST BECAUSE I’M A GHOST.

Still, that’s yesterday. Today seems to be taking a turn in a different direction.

Like down. Straight down.

The six still wanted to go to wherever these “Shivering Mountains” are. Yesterday Twilight, in between helping me out with my camera, was zoning out on a map of Equestria, apparently looking for them.

She talks to herself too. Like, more than seems healthy. It wasn’t hard to pick up on her findings and plans through. Especially since she explicitly stated:

“Aha! I found them! Oh, is the camera still falling through you? Huh…”

And then;

“I’ll call the others to meet outside SugarCube again tomorrow evening! They’ll be so excited! Oh, it’s working now? Great! Anyw- aa-aah! Oww! Beyond! That flash is really bright!”

…What? I wanted to test it!

Anyway, right now, I’m standing behind this burningly neon pink bakery, waiting for the six little adventurers to show up. I’ve been here a good 20 minutes. Still no sign of ‘em. I’m gonna stop writing here, and continue when, or if, they decide to show up.

See you in a minute (hopefully),

Beyond

Entry: #3

Date: July 9th

Dear Diary,

Well.

I closed this book after finishing the above entry, and they all decided to show up just as paper met paper.

To quote myself two entries ago; just my luck.

…I’ll ask Discord to invert a four leaf clover for me later.

Anyway, Twilight showed up first. The other five came pretty quickly afterward. They were all huddled together, shuffling in excitement, saddlebags equipped, and Twilight started telling them about her findings. Well, I’m assuming she was. She was just out of my eavesdropping range.

I did a quick recount, and noticed that only five of them were in the little group. I specifically remembered counting six.

Lets see…

There was Twilight, Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy…

Oh Lord. Pinkie Pie was missing.

I felt something behind me, breathing on the back of my transparent neck.

I spun around, and my eyes were assaulted by pink.

She was so freaking close to me that it wasn’t even funny.

“HI BEYOND!” she yelled in her ear-killing voice as soon as she saw me turn.

…Who’d have thought that a neon pink pony could be so dang terrifying?

I jumped backwards, and felt my eyes go black for a second. Lightning cracked, touching down a few feet away from her, splintering and charring the dirt path. I blinked, and found her clinging to the roof of the bakery for dear life, eyes larger than possible.

“What the heck was that?!” a not-that-far-away blue pegasus exclaimed.

Dang it, the thunder is always so loud! I need to learn some self-control…

I heard the group of them charging over to where I was standing, so I tried to look as innocent as possible.

And when you’re a ghost, innocence is next to impossible on the achievable appearances list.

“…Beyond? Oh. I guess that makes sense. Who are you throwing lightning at now?” a purple mare inquired, much less enraged than I thought she’d be.

Well, I guess that’s because she didn’t see Pinkie hanging onto the roof for dear life yet.

I just turned my head in the pink mare’s direction, and they looked over at her.

And they immediately turned their attention back to me after seeing her trembling.

“You tried to strike PINKIE with LIGHTNING?! What the HECK is WRONG with you?!” Applejack… didn’t sound happy.

...But I didn't hit her...

“You guys know best,” I tried to stress "guys", to lighten the mood, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t work because of the rolling eyes and glares it got as a response, “that when something scares me, it gets hit with lightning. You can’t blame me for her creeping!”

“We could blame you for Nightmare Moon if we wanted to!” Rainbow shouted, looking like she wanted to hit me. Being a ghost sure does have its perks! “You can’t stop us!”

I felt my eyes get a bit grayer.

“Sorry,” that comment was enough to get her on my nerves, “but what did you say? I can’t stop you? I think you underestimate me,” I glared at her with thundercloud eyes.

You have no idea how weird it feels to have your eyes change colors.

…And in all honesty, when my eyes go black, it feels awesome. Probably because I’m manipulating weather by mood.

Ah, the perks of having the King of Chaos as a friend.

“Rainbow, quit it!” Twilight kicked her again. I chucked. “Pinkie Pie, you ok?” she called up to the baker.

“…That…was…terrifying…Beyond…” she hyperventilated.

...I also think that was the slowest she had spoken in her entire life.

“Look, Pinkie, I’m sorry. You know that you’ll get hit with lightning if you sneak up on me!” I apologized with an iconic twist.

…I’m a ghost. What little pride I have left is retained through indirect apologies, and striking people with lightning.

And sarcasm. Sarcasm is amazing.

You still haven’t tried it? Listen to me.

Stand up. Walk away. Find the nearest person to you, and engage in conversation until an opportunity presents itself. And watch your relationship with sarcasm soar.

But I’m getting off track. Heheh.

She leapt off the top of the bakery, forgave me on her way down, tried to land on me, failed miserably.

…They really need to try to remember that I’m a ghost. The white eyes should give it away. Honestly.

I would have helped her up, but that actually wouldn’t have helped at all either, so Fluttershy launched herself over and helped the pink pony up.

“So, what are you doing here anyway, darling? You said no so many times I thought you might never leave your house again,” Rarity dramatized.

Again.

Darling.

...Really.

“I figured I’d drop by and see you all off, good luck and all that wonderful... stuff...” I tried.

Ok, ok, I get it!

I’m not that good at improvisation.

Cut me some slack.

Geez.

“O…k…” It sounded like they bought it.

“So, I’m gonna be going. I wanted to talk to Discord about some stuff…” I half lied, slowly moving away from them. “Oh, and sorry again, Pinkie.”

“Oh, it’s ok! You didn’t actually hit me!” she somehow smiled.

“Oh he didn’t? I thought he did by how scared y…” their voices faded as I trotted away.

I needed to tail them without them seeing, and without their alarm, Pinkie Pie, noticing me. Difficult... She seemed to notice when I was on the ground. I could fly… No. No flying. If I ran into Polaris, I would lose them. He wouldn’t leave me alone.

…Not the ground, not the sky…

Rooftops?

Rooftop running? What kind of idiot was I? Why would I think jumping from the top of one person’s house to another would be smart?

Dunno. I did it anyway.

…I may have cheated by flight to get to the top of the first building, but trust me, I didn’t fly again after that.

I was crouching on top of… whatever building that was…

No… wait… I remember that building… barely…

Oh. Wait. It was my house.

Good Lord, I need to get Twilight’s help for my memory.

…Now what was I saying?

Oh yeah. They had moved far enough away from the bakery that I could keep an eye on them without being seen. I hoped. I counted heads, up to six, and breathed a sigh of relief. Pinkie was present.

They were chatting idly, I think, as they walked past me. I could barely hear ‘em.

…Well, they were walking on the wrong side of the road. Or the left side. My house was on the right.

…I never said that, did I?

But again, I’m straying. They trotted past my home, leaving me unnoticed. As they continued, I slowly followed them from roof to roof. I actually had to jump through a few trees too.

I'm glad leaves just phase through me.

I find it odd that all six of them just decided to leave everything in one day, just to see if some little golden cloud bearing some screwed up inscription is telling the truth.

I think the thing is made of chocolate, and everyone is just overreacting.

I bet it’s tasty…

*Ahem* Anyway, when they finally left Ponyville, I followed them at a massive distance on the ground, praying that the pink sentry wouldn’t find me.

I swear, she has x-ray vision for spirits or something.

They were moving along, talking, Rainbow hovering, Twilight reading a map, Applejack asking why they were moving so slowly, Pinkie SCANNING EVERYTHING, Rarity digging through her saddlebag (probably for sunglasses or a scarf), and Fluttershy at the back, head down in… tiredness. I guess.

…Her house is kind of infested with animals. That’d keep me up.

But then and again, I don’t sleep. I just go out and invade dreams, and watch, or manipulate if I feel like I should.

Princess Luna actually caught me once, and tried to punish me, but I’m a ghost. I just phased through everything, so nothing she tried worked.

Apparently she didn’t know about Twilight’s spiritual materialization spell.

Conveniently.

I’m straying again... (Well, excuuuuuse me.)

Rainbow tried to ease the boredom, or show off (one of the two, I'm assuming the latter) by swooping upward (does that phrase make sense?) and doing a sort of corkscrew barrel-roll type maneuver, before attempting to come back down gracefully, instead crashing into Applejack.

There was a bit of arguing, which Twilight interrupted.

She’s done that twice today…

Oops.

Heheh.

She spoke for a little while, and I’m assuming she was telling everyone that they ought to settle down where they were, since immediately after she was done speaking, Fluttershy more or less collapsed, and none of the others looked concerned. They stopped travelling on a rather abandoned, dusty, desert-looking pathway, surrounded by what looked like sand. Or just really dry dirt.

Hang on. I’ll check.

Ugh! That’s sand.

Euch.

...They all eventually settled down, and I found a nice rock to relax on, which I’m actually on right now.

And I’m really tired of writing. I’ve been doing this for a good 40 minutes.

Wouldn’t you be tired? *coughsayyescough*.

Good.

So, I’m gonna go. Don’t worry; I’ll write another entry for tomorrow.

Ok, signing off,

Beyond

P.S.: Don’t eat sand, you idiot!

(CH3) NO ONE DIED, STOP ASKING.

Entry: #4

Date; July 9-10th

Dear Diary,

I’m not even going to try with that description of… whatever I would be describing. It doesn’t work. It just doesn’t. And who even cares about the weather?

I don’t.

In fact, it doesn’t even help anyone. It just makes me start entries with no point.

…I’m beginning to question my habits.

Anyway, I’m still on that same rock I was on earlier. Not much happened, but I did stand up and move around a bit, so I suppose I ought to mention that.

Well, it was kind of interesting. And by interesting, I mean I almost killed someone.

…Whoops…?

I stood up after the six had all passed out from their walking, talking, and probably worrying. Since I have no physical form to make sound when I walk, I trotted over to them like a ninja. They all looked so peaceful and happy. Perfect time to give out nightmares.

…What? I’m a ghost, and I enter dreams. What were you expecting? Me to be nice?

You’re very funny. Anyone ever tell you that?

Well, the cocky mis-flying Rainbow one was in front of me, so I decided to start with her. You know, it’s actually pretty easy to enter someone’s mind. Just close your eyes, and match their breathing. Even though my lungs only take SPIRIT BRAND air.

…But that’s irrelevant isn’t it…?

Seconds later, I was surrounded by darkness. Dark dream, it seemed.

…I always knew her head was empty.

Since pure black isn’t all that fun, I opened my eyes, and backed out of the dream. Someone had to be thinking of something. I’m not friends with a bunch of airheads. Well, at least not entirely. Some of them sure seemed like it. But I was definitely NOT going into Pinkie’s dream. She has… no respect at all… for personal space… and since it was a dream… that once… what she did wasn't permanent… and had no consequences…

…I wish my memory failed at storing that dream. I really do.

And if you’re looking for me to go into it, I WILL *NOT**. There is *no way I’m reliving that.

…Anyway, the next closest to me was the white fashionista. She looked peaceful enough. I let my eyes shut, and entered the world of her dreams.

When I popped up in crazy land, I opened my eyes, and immediately snapped them shut. I regretted it. The whole landscape was pure yellow. Everything. Bright, shiny, eye murdering yellow.

I had no idea what it was made of, though.

I stood there with my eyes shut for probably longer than I should have. It’s that fear that when you open your eyes that the world is going to shine into them like gamma rays that kept them closed. (Assuming you don't know, and I would hope you don't, because you're a book, gamma rays kill people.) Took me long enough, but I did open them. Eventually.

And I found that the whole world around me was made of gold. Pure gold.

…And I expected something else?

Rarity… predictable as ever. Honestly. It shocks me even today. I had a moment where I considered the dream’s gold everythingness, but I shook it out of my mind. Rarity couldn’t have been that predictable.

Well, apparently I was incorrect.

…As usual…

Back to the retelling, which I seem to be failing to do, I slowly, slowly opened my eyes to the painfully, unrealistically bright world around me. Gold is way too shiny.

Well, after I managed to get my eyes open, I looked around for the dreamer.

When it comes to dreams, there are no exceptions;

The dreamer will ALWAYS add themselves to their own dream, awarely or not.
The dream the dreamer has will ALWAYS be relevant to something they

experienced, will experience, or fear experiencing.

Dreams are ALWAYS the subconscious recycling of thoughts, ideas, and memories, done without the assistance or knowledge of the conscious.

…Why are you looking at me like that? You expect me to meet everyone I talk to by dreams, and not know their nature? What do you take me for? A living being?

Geez.

Anyway, I looked for a bit, but not long. Trust me. She was really easy to locate. One white, running, screaming thing in a world of yellow?

Not hard to spot.

Only thing that shocked me was why she was running. A few moments later, it hit me that I hadn’t entered a dream. No rainbows here.

I had joined a nightmare.

Well, maybe there were rainbows there…

She galloped over a hill of the metal, screaming as loudly and screechily (and painfully) as she could. Her eyes were shut, so she didn’t see me. Conveniently.

But as what was apparently chasing her came over the hill, I think I would have closed my eyes too. That thing was terrifying. And… familiar at the same time… But I can’t remember why…

Well, I’m sure it’ll come back to me. Eventually.

Like nothing always does.

Essentially, what came over that hill was a giant cloud. …No. Wait. It wasn’t a cloud. It was more like a scattered mist of shadow and darkness. But it was still a bit see-through. And it was moving ludicrously fast.

The ground below it turned black as it moved, and chased the screaming one. Like it was dying. I was at a complete loss at the new discovery that gold can die.

…Learn something useless and new every day, eh?

Well, Rarity made a sudden left turn and almost collided with me. Or ran through me.

…I get confused sometimes. HEY, I WAS ALIVE ONCE TOO.

But I managed to forget one important thing about dreams.

“Aaaaaah! Get away from me you demon! HELP! HELP!”

…Well, I’m sure it was something like that. I can’t be expected to remember everyone’s screams of terror.

Just the ones I capture on video.

Or the ones that I would, if I ever figure out how to work video on my camera, that is…

Back in the real world, after I was forced out of Rarity’s dream by her own frantic, terrified panicking and awakening, I shook my head, and the white unicorn’s shot up in fear.

She was unaware of me, and if I had any living, physical form, I would have a gigantic hole in my neck from a certain magic rod sticking out of her forehead.

…I swear, I don’t know how long these ponies would keep me alive if I still was. They’re always hurting me. Or doing things that would hurt me physically, anyway.

…Glad I never knew them until I died.

Well, after she had dealt her would-have-been killing blow, she looked up at me, and her pupils shrunk to pinpricks. She just stared at me blankly and amusingly for a few seconds.

…I don’t think the moment could have gotten any more awkward. Honestly. Bad timing is BAD.

She, after a few years, opened her mouth and whispered “Beyond…? What are you doing here? I thought you were staying behind..?”

Well, I had just been caught, and the other five were waking up from Rarity’s incessant screaming (they sure took their time), so I had one choice.

And it wasn’t a favorite choice of mine.

I just looked down at her, since she was still lying down (more or less), and just said; “Shhhhhh.”

And then I sunk into the ground. Ghosts can do that, dont'cha know.

Only problem is, once underground, you can’t see a freaking thing in front of you besides rock, dirt, and in my case, sand.

You’re not a ghost, so I’ll give you an example. Ever try being buried alive? It’s like that.

(I never told you to bury yourself alive. You can’t sue me. HAHA.)

Well, I heard her shuffling around above me, scrambling around in the sandy dirt. I’m assuming she was either trying to figure out how the heck I did that (I never go underground in front of friends, or anyone really), or getting up to tell the others.

I waited in place for a bit, and found the latter to be true. The other five had got up and searched for me (or whatever had disturbed Rarity so much) as painstakingly slowly as they could.

…Even a ghost can feel temperature, and the ground was freaking freezing.

And they suuure took their time.

Well, after a bit, they noticed my rock. I guess they had thought I was hiding behind it, which was horrible, because I left my diary there.

I left this there.

This precious book.

If this falls into anyone else’s possession, I’ll make sure they never see the light of day again.

And I’d do it with a spoon. That Twilight would unknowingly enchant for me after I told her the ice cream in my house was melting.

The perfect plan…

…Oh. Uh… Wait… No one saw that. No one read that PRETEND YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT.

..I said nothing about plotting your death. NOTHING AT ALL.

NO, DON’T GO BACK AND REREAD STAY HERE AND LOOKATTHEGIANTBUNCHEDUPWORDS! LOOKATTHEM!

…Well…Back to the story after the part no one saw…

I caught Rainbow saying she would go over to it and check, and a bang followed. I assumed she was breaking the sound barrier over to look at it.

Well, I couldn’t have her finding my diary, could I?

…I NEEDED TO PROTECT IT, DIDN’T I?

Ok, I’m glad you forgive me.

Ghosts… even ghosts can panic. I could not let that ridiculous blue pegasus get hold of my diary, and discover my presence at the same time.

…So I let my eyes go pitch black.

A few moments later, I heard an incredibly deafening crack of lightning rip itself apart over my head. The ground even shook.

All I heard afterwards was an, “AAAAAAAAAHHH!” coming from someone.

Sounded like Dash.

I later found out that it was Dash, and I was pretty happy.

…Hey, close your eyes a bit, would you? They might pop out of your head if you keep them that open. I didn’t kill her. As much as I wanted to (but definitely didn’t try to), I just hit her in the wing. Which, I’ve heard, hurts like hell. I was content enough.

They all called out to her above me. I don’t get how saying someone’s name when they’re in pain or trouble helps anyone, though.

Really. I mean, if you were getting mauled by a bear, and one of your friends came by and saw you, and paused to say your name before helping you, wouldn’t you be mad? They just wasted a few seconds to say something that you know better then they do before preventing your death.

…I’m a ghost, and I approve this message, as violent as it is.

Anyway, they all rushed over to help her, however the heck they thought they’d do that. Conveniently for me, they carried her back to their little camp and layed her on her bed again, to rest. Apparently.

…Funny word; layed. It looks like it’s spelled incorrectly, but it’s not.

But, again, this all happened about 20 or so minutes ago, and I’m just peeking over my rock to see what’s going on. I’m assuming that’s why they did that…How am I supposed to know! I can’t hear them.

In the time they were doing that, I was walking through the ground (blindly) following the earth-shattering crash the lightning provided. She was at my rock, right? Always follow the sounds to get to where you need to go.

Unless it’s screaming and cries for help. Don’t go that way. Turn around, and go the opposite direction.

Took me about 20 minutes, because what I was doing was a ridiculous method of finding my base. Poking your head out of the ground periodically to avoid being seen by an overly enthusiastic group and to find a rock 78758543 miles away from you is not easy under any circumstances.

And yes, I did overesticaltulate there. And I did just invent that word, too. Thank you for asking.

20 minutes later, I’m here, behind my rock, writing.

…I’m honestly starting to regret my decision to shadow these ponies. They scare me sometimes.

Well, anyway, the sun is going to rise soon. In a few minutes, if I had to guess.

I’ll just count this as tonight’s entry, and write again tomorrow.

…At least tonight wasn’t uneventful, eh?

I’ll write again in a bit.

Your faithful and stupefied writer who still has no idea what he’s doing,

Beyond

P.S.: What does PS even stand for? No one told me. Look that up later.

(CH4) ...No One Dies Twice, You Idiots!

Entry: #5

Date: July 10th

...Dear Diary (I’m growing FAR too fond of saying that),

If I could say just one thing to anyone in all of Equestria, it would be this.

CELESTIA, GET OFF YOUR LAZY FLANK AND RAISE THE FREAKING SUN ALREADY.

I swear, she took a holiday. Is the sun allowed a holiday? I think that’s against the rules. BECAUSE THE MOON SHOULDN’T BE IN THE SKY AT 9 A.M.

I don't think.

“Oh, I feel tired today. I’m just gonna lay here and leave the whole world in darkness. Hope no one minds.”

WE DO MIND.

...After her royal Procrastination finally brought the sun back out, the panicking mares behind my rock got a bit louder. I just hoped that they were FINALLY done freaking out about that random bolt of lightning that hit Rainbow Dash that I have no idea about and am certainly not trying to hide in an incredibly long grammatically incorrect run-on sentence.

...We all overreact sometimes…

Anyway, it seemed like the purple magician of the group, or Rarity (I don't know, I didn't see who), abracadabra’d Dash’s wing back to normal. Which wasn’t very good for me. She was SO BLOODY CONVINCED that I was nearby that she voided contact with the ground the moment her wing was better, and had been Pinkie Pie scanning the WHOLE WORLD since.

But she has left my rock alone. Conveniently. I’d stay away from lightning incarnate too, if I were her.

Well, I'm not really lightning incarnate. I’m pretty much useless on my own. The only thing I could do without the help of others would be flying. Or scaring the heck out of everyone. I wouldn't even be able to hold this book.

The only reason I can strike people with lightning is Discord. He gave me the ability to do so as a form of self defense. Back when I was alive, I knew Discord. We were actually pretty good friends. In reality, I think he was the only person I knew, besides my family, that didn’t make fun of me.

...I had an unusual condition. You’ve no doubt heard that some people have eyes that are different colors, right? I had that. But mine was different. My right eye was pure white, no pupil, and my left eye was pure black. I think my left eye had a pupil. Just, no one could see it. They all made fun of me. Some were even actually afraid of me. They called me a demon. That’s why I outcasted myself to the plains between Canterlot and Ponyville.

And in those plains, I was crushed by the meteor.

...And I still don’t know what I did to be so cursed.

Discord was always there for me, though. Unless he was busy turning people into bananas or making it rain snakes. Gelatin snakes. He always made me laugh…

...And after I died, he gave me lightning control. But he made me promise to misuse it first.

And BELIEVE ME, I promised.

...If I keep writing about my past, I’m not gonna remember what happened today. I might write more about that tomorrow.

Anyway, dodging irrelevancy, the persistent cyan one FINALLY left me alone after the sun came back up. Which it felt like it wasn’t going to do.

Stupid Princesses.

They all gathered themselves up, and continued their ridiculous journey toward the mountain range. The one that they decidedly assumed was the Shivering Mountains. I swear, those mountains got closer to us overnight. They were purple last time I saw them, and if I’ve learned anything from watching a gigantic meteor crush my entire body, it’s that if something is purple, it’s not close to you. Only difference is, the meteor stopped being purple after a few seconds. Then I just saw blackness.

And pain.

I SAW pain.

...Pain looks weird.

I KEEP GETTING OFF TRACK.

The six of ‘em, with me following, started moving toward the mountains. I had to stay mostly underground, with my head poking out above the surface, for the majority of their stupid hike (which lasted about 30 minutes) because Pinkie was SCANNING THE WHOLE WORLD, and my rock was the only cover for miles.

...I’m gonna miss that rock.

Well, like I said, after 30 minutes of dodging the unblinking pink sentry’s vision, they all stumbled into the mountain area. They all seemed pretty happy about it. But I noticed something odd. I could see their breath. Like, when it gets cold outside, and you exhale, you can see it. Like that.

But where I was, it was completely warm. As in, desert conditions. I still don’t get Equestrian geography. There are almost rifts between different areas of the world.

...It’s weird. But what do I know?

And then it hit me. And when I say “it” I mean two things. Firstly, I understood why they were called the Shivering Mountains. Secondly, I was literally hit by something. And if I get hit by anything, it means one, or both of two things.

Someone knows where I am.

2. Whoever they are, they are both strong, and have a horn.

In any case, once the boulder (I found out it was a boulder later. Nice person!) had scrambled my head, I was sent flying across the landscape. Best part: they must have also enchanted THE GROUND with that ghost-touch spell, because I could feel EVERY ROCK I hit along the way. I was eventually stopped by a pretty big boulder.

Which I also felt.

I was so mad when I came to that stop, I swear, my eyes were deep-space black. I was ready to kill someone.

And then I saw who had thrown boulders at me.

Two ponies. Twilight and Rainbow Dash. When I saw Dash, I was ready to snap her wings with lightning, but Twilight casted some spell at me first.

You know what it was?

Spiritual materialization. Ghost-touch.

SHE TURNED ME INTO A PHYSICAL GHOST. And Rainbow was flying RIGHT towards me.

...I know what pain is. That meteorite stung for a good long while after I died. Every step I took, my bones turned to glass and shattered. Well, I was a ghost, so not really, but it sure felt like it.

But I knew a steam engine when it was coming to kill me.

Also, I think she knew what had struck her with lightning, because I saw an evil smile on her face, and a cone forming around her.

She was going to sonic-rainboom me to my… uh… second? graveyard. I think it was second. Maybe.

...My friends are so nice.

I braced for second death. I could HEAR HER. But moments before contact was made, I heard another sound.

Guess who?

*Snap*

A sponge materialized in front of me. A REALLY BIG sponge.

I was just lying on my back, my head to the boulder, when I saw Dash’s head pop through it. She looked stuck. The look on her face was bloody PRICELESS.

...I could help myself.

“Hey Dash! How you doing?”

My eyes were white again. She took half of a moment to comprehend what had just happened, before she was THROWN out of the sponge from compressive tension.

*Snap*

“Oh, come now, ladies! What he did was all in good fun.”

...Another perfect example of a friend making my life better.

Or afterlife.

Words.

“Discord?! What the heck are you doing out here?!” The rest of the group had all gathered by a dumbfounded Twilight.

Where is my camera when I need it?

“Helping a friend not get obliterated twice in his existence. Besides, isn’t your job to uphold harmony and NOT to try to kill others? Twice? Honestly, with all your mushy sap, I’d think you’d have more ‘important’ things to do, hmm?”

...I love him.

Best person of the year award.

GIVE IT TO HIM RIGHT NOW.

“He broke Rainbow Dash’s wing in three places!” Applejack’s features got even more… angry? Ah, screw it, I'm to lazy to use complicated words. Angry. Sure.

And I broke her wing? In THREE PLACES? HAHA! I LOVE that bit! Honestly, I wasn’t trying to do that, but it’s no wonder she stayed away from my rock.

Hehe.

“He did?” Discord glanced down at me. “Beyond! How could you?! Why would you possibly be so mean to the ponies who are trying to kill you?” He tried to hold back a smile, failed, and soon after he was rolling around in a fit of hilarity.

I had to join him.

...They still all looked like they wanted to kill me, though.

“Haa! You guys are HILARIOUS! Now seriously,” the cloud he was floating on vanished, “leave him alone. I’m watching you.” He took out his left eye and extended his arm out to them, turning his eye to each of them in turn.

...Again, would’ve been a GREAT time for a picture, but NOOOOO, I just HAD to leave it at home, didn’t I?

“I’ll be off. Leave him alone, ok? I don’t want to turn anyone of you into chocolate and then force Twilight to cast the “Want it Eat it” spell.”

At that comment, he snapped, and vanished. I was left practically dead breathless. (I didn't intend that pun, but heck with it, I do now.)

And the six of them all looked disgusted. Probably because Discord tore his eye out in front of them.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something floating towards the ground. I swung my hoof at it and caught it. The six of them tensed.

Idiots. Hehe.

Guess what it was?

An inverted clover.

...Discord is my best friend for... Well, I don't have forever, so let's just say my soulless existence.

...Wait... I'm only a soul, aren't I...?

...Dangit.

Anyway...

Right now, I’m really tired. I need to just relax for a bit.

I know, I know. I didn’t finish off the day in this entry. I’ll do it in the next. Ok? So don’t kill me for the third time.

Just remembered he can’t sleep,

Beyond

P.S.: *DANGIT.***

(CH5) ...I... I Lied.

(CH5) ...I... I Lied...

Entry: #6

Date: July 11th

...Dear *Diary,***

You know what I hate?

Being physical.

It’s SO HARD. How do you people DEAL with it?

I mean, yeah, I was alive once, so I get how it works. You can trip, stumble, and walls are impossible to pass through without going either full kamikaze, or getting a remote controlled wrecking ball. It’s freaking horrible.

...I’m just not used to it.

Quit rolling your eyes! You’ve walked into walls before yourself.

The nerve of some people…

But you’re probably wondering why I’m complaining. Bet you can’t guess.

A certain purple genius forgot to make me all wispy again. I am currently a physical, living ghost.

Oh, but you know the best part? I BLEED TRANSPARENT BLUE! It’s SO COOL! But I probably shouldn’t be so happy. It seriously hurts. And it won’t stop. I’ve literally been bleeding profusely since that cut earlier.

Speaking of earlier, I never finished yesterday’s entry about yesterday.

Oh God, that phrase is gonna fry my brain later. If I have one anymore. If I do, I bet it’s blueish… Hehe…

But, really, back to yesterday.

Aaand… I think I left off with Discord popping away.

So, from there…

*Snap*

And the deadlock began.

I feel pretty sure that we, all seven of us, just stood and stared at each other menacingly for thirty minutes. Judging by the faces of my “friends” they still wanted me dead.

Wait… I’m a ghost and they wanted me dead...

If anyone ever reads this, and I catch them, I feel like I’d be tempted to let them read it, just to see the expressions on their faces. It'd be great...

I would have to make sure I had my camera on me.

Discord would be so proud…

Anyway, they still wanted me dead, and STILL DIDN’T TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG. I mean, Dash’s wing was better, wasn’t it? Can’t really fly with a broken wing…

So, after thirty minutes of standing, the pain in my legs (the glass-bone-breaking pain from meteorite obliteration that I LOVED SO MUCH) started up again. I hadn’t felt that since I first died.

OH MY LORD IT HURT.

I was left literally incapable of standing.

Just imagine this: Someone just walks up to you one day with a big hammer. Two seconds later, your knees are in pieces. They then proceed to set your whole lower body on fire.

Doesn’t that sound FUNNNN?

Well, it really freaking hurts. Like, nervous-system frying agony kind of hurts. If you want an example of pain otherwise, ask Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They know pain… Hehe…

But I’m getting off track again.

OOOOW.

I JUST FORGOT THAT I’M PHYSICAL AND SLAPPED MYSELF.

IT STINGS.

Aaahh…

I need that ridiculous element of magic forgetfulness stupidity to make me a real ghost again. I can’t stand physical rules.

Back to what I was saying before, I was left incapable of standing, so I took a step forward and collapsed. If I wasn’t in so much pain, I would have been laughing my head off. I swear, the way they all tensed when I stepped forward like I was going to shoot them was bloody HILARIOUS.

Since I was now lying on the ground, I considered my situation, and decided that breaking my personality for a little bit would be a good way to get out of it.

I didn’t speak sarcastically for a few seconds...

That was a massive blow to my pride...

"L...look… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to h...hurt anyone… Hehe…”

I was trying to sound innocent and sorry, but WHAT do they focus on?

The little laugh on the end.

“And why is that funny?” Dash was over me in a flash, her shadow casting over my now-physical body.

I had no idea what was about to happen, so I kind of appreciated it. If she looked a little less irritated, I might have actually been happy.

No more sun in my eyes!

...Why? WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO SAY? HMM?

“Oh, come on Dash… I meant nothing by it.” That was a complete lie. I propped myself up in the meantime, my hind legs limp on the ground, my front trembling under my own tiny weight. “Now, if we could all just make up, and you all could stop tr- !”

I was cut short of my plea by a gasp. My own gasp.

And I had good reasons.

I started shaking. I couldn’t stop. Dash had an evil, pleased grin plastered on her face, and her hoof on my chest.

Something was in my body. Something that wasn’t supposed to be.

I bent my neck downwards, my own trembling screwing up my vision. I could barely see, but I knew what color I was. Transparent white.

Well, I saw blue on my chest. And it wasn’t just Dash’s hoof.

She removed her limb from my chest, the fur on it bluer than usual. I, in turn, fell forward, my front legs lost from the shock. I felt something drive itself into me. I rolled over, slowly, in Dash’s shadow, and looked at my chest again with newly glazed eyes. There was a small blob of gray on my coat. I barely saw it, it was so small.

I heard a very loud, very large collection of gasps. Five, if I’m not mistaken.

I felt my consciousness slipping. I couldn’t stop blinking. I couldn’t feel my heartbeat. The world slowed around me. On any other day, I’d be fine without feeling a heartbeat.

Only problem is that the living need circulation. And at that moment,I understood what had happened.

Rainbow Dash, Element of Harmony, Protector of Equestria, Bearer of Loyalty, had just stabbed me in my newly-physical heart. One of the Elements of Harmony, Forgiveness, and Friendship stabbed me. Fatally. The Element you were supposed to really be able to trust, no less.

So I did all I could. I lay, panting. My face warmed as the sun, rising, heated the cracking ground beneath me. I felt my heartbeat again, but only around the pointed stone the rainbow murderer just punctured my heart with. The one she killed me for my second time with.

Thoughts rushed through my head. Why? How? What happens now? Do living ghosts die and become ghosts again? Or is this desert going to be my graveyard?

...Where’s Discord?

Bright colors flashed by my dying eyes. The five apparently rished over to me. To try to help? To finish me off? I don’t know.

And that, itself, was the very last thing I saw. Only perpetual, unending darkness followed, consuming my vision, and consuming my mind.