Ponies. Ruin. EVERYTHING!

Chapters

"I wanna be the very best.”
"Supplies"
“Can you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll”
Monday the 9th
“Black Leather Couch”
S.I.F.F.
Cluck
Storm of the Century
"It's time to make the doughnuts!"
Frigid
Gotta catch um all
Eat it or wear it
Meows
Maniacal
“Over 9000!!!!”
Survivor

"I wanna be the very best.”

“I wanna be the very best.”

“Hello there. Welcome to the world of Pokemon,” the brown furred earth pony in the lab coat states. His gray mane and tail seeming frozen in place,unmoving as he spoke, though for some reason his mouth didn't seem to be moving either.

His brown eyes stare blankly into the space above the pink maned head of the mare before him.

“Ummm hello,” mutters Fluttershy. “I'm here....”

“My name is Oak! Ponies call me the Pokemon Professor,” the pony states his eyes not yet having seemed to focus on anything other than the wall behind her. Fluttershy was going to question it, but thought perhaps his eyes might have the same issue as the mail mare's and she didn't want to seem rude.

“This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokemon!” Oak continues.

“Creatures? You mean animals? Ooh ….,” Fluttershy's ears perk up at this.

“For some ponies Pokemon are pets. Others use them for fights,” Oak rambles on not even noticing Fluttershy was no longer paying attention as she looked around the room for the new type of animals.

“Myself I study Pokemon as a profession,” Oak monotones.

“Oh that's nice where are they? I don't see any critters in here?,” Fluttershy responds completely ignored by Oak.

“First are you a girl or a boy?” Oak asks.

“Umm excuse me?” Fluttershy questions though Oak simply continues to stare. “Um, you can't tell? Oh I’m sorry your eyes, um yes I’m a mare.”

“What is you name?”

“Fluttershy.”

“Right! So your name is Flutter!”

“No, it's Fluttershy....” Fluttershy responds her ears flattening as Oak ignores her.

Another brown pony appears though this one much younger looking with spiky blue hair and a some what out of fashion neighties retro look to him.

“This is my grandson. He's been your rival since you were a foal.” Oak rambles.

“Umm, I hate to point this out, but I don't think I have ever seen this pony before....” Fluttershy points out only to be ignored. “ I mean I don't think I have a rival....”

“....Erm, what was his name again?” Oak questions.

“I really don't know what his name is, I have never met him before,” Fluttershy protests.” Shouldn't you know if he's your grandson?”

“That's right! I remember now! His name is Ireally!” Oak nearly shouts.

“That's an odd name....,” Fluttershy mutters looking over at the young pony. “Oh. Sorry I didn't mean that. It's a nice name, really.”

“Flutter!” Oak yells suddenly. “Your very own Pokemon legend is about to unfold!”

“Umm that's nice.... I think.” Fluttershy meeps.

“A world of dreams and adventures with Pokemon awaits! Lets go!” Oak screams

“Is your grandfather always this excitable?” Fluttershy questions the young pony who simply shrugs.

“Gramps, I’m fed up with waiting!” Ireally states looking annoyed.

“Ireally? Let me think.....” Oak responds.

“Does he have a prescription medication he isn't taking maybe?” Fluttershy asks Ireally.

“Oh, that's right I told you to come!” Oak replies happily. “Just wait! Here Flutter! There are three Pokemon here!”

“Really where?” Fluttershy prances all excited.

“HaHa! They are inside the poke balls,” Oak responds

“Poke balls?” Fluttershy looks around seeing a trio of tiny red and white balls on the table. “Ummm are they really tiny animals? Maybe bugs? What sort of critters can fit in these little things?”

Oak rambles on. ”When I was young I was a serious Pokemon Trainer!”

“Can they breath in there? I don't see any air holes.....,” Fluttershy questions poking one of the balls with a hoof. She yelps and ducks as the ball pops open and a flash of light erupts from it.

“In my old age I have only three left.” Oak sighs wistfully. “ But you can have one!”

Oak stops talking and winces as Fluttershy lets loose a sudden high pitched squee. He looks over, eyes finally focusing on the yellow pegasus who was practicably smothering Spike in a hug. The little dragon was not amused at the cuddling, nor the fact that all his scales were painted orange and yellow, and there was a flashlight taped to his tail

“He is the cutest little dragon lizard ever.” Fluttershy giggles.

“Some pony is gonna pay for this,” grumbles Spike. A light cough from Oak gets a death glare from the little dragon. “Fine..... Chaaaaar..........happy now?”

“Do you want to give a nickname to Charmander?” Oak questions.

“Don't you dare!” Spike points at Fluttershy who giggles.

“It's okay Spike, I know your name.” Fluttershy smiles.

Flutter received a Spike<

“Huh, who said that?” Spike questions.

“I don't know, this place is kinda strange,” Fluttershy responds.

“I'll take this one then! “announces Ireally. The pony trots over to one of the poke balls grabbing it with a hoof.

Ireally received a Squirtle!<

“There it is again.” mutters Spike as he and Fluttershy look around for the source. Not finding one Fluttershy shrugs and starts towards the door.

“Umm I guess we can leave? Come on Spike let's go wash that paint off you. What was it like in that little ball?”

“Dark and kinda crowded, it had a full wifi bar though.” Spike responds.

The pair start to walk off though Ireally rushes up on them.

“Wait Flutter!” Ireally yells.

“It's Fluttershy.....”

“Let's check out our Pokemon!” Ireally continues ignoring her correction.

“Oh dear ,I think it might be hereditary.....” Fluttershy mutters looking at Oak.

“Come on! I'll take you on!” Ireally yells.

“What?” Spike questions.

Ireally wants to fight<

“Who keeps saying that?” Spike growls looking up at the ceiling

“Fight? Why do you want to fight, we just met?” Fluttershy meeps.” Did I do something wrong? I didn't mean to point out your mental disorder....”

Ireally sent out Squirtle!<

The brown colt throws the poke ball he took from the table. It pops open to reveal Rainbow Dash's pet tortoise Tank. Tank, like Spike, was not exactly happy, as some one had painted him bright blue and some how had given his tail a perm that curled it up against the back of his shell.

“They got you too huh?” Spike grumbles.

Go Spike!<

“Go? Go where?” Spike questions

“Squirtle use tackle!” Ireally shouts.

Spike watches as the tortoise slowly walks over to him and bumps into his leg.

“Umm what?” Spike questions.

“Err, what are you doing?” Fluttershy asks .

“A Pokemon battle! You train Pokemon up to fight each other, to challenge other trainers and win badges before going after the elite four!” Ireally states. “I can't wait to take down those world famous Pokemon trainers!”

“You.... you make the animals fight each other?” Fluttershy mutters looking down at Spike standing there with a very annoyed expression as Tank keeps bumping into his leg.

“Of course! That is the world of Pokemon!” Oak shouts from across the room , still staring into space.

“That.... that's terrible.” Fluttershy mutters the air crackling around her.

“Uh oh.” Spike gasps, grabbing Tank and diving behind the table.

“You cram the poor things into little balls, and make them fight each other ? Why would you do that?” Fluttershy questions.

“That's the way of things here. Pokemon are made for fighting!” Oak shouts. Ireally however had a bit more common sense and was backing away from the very angry looking mare.

“How dare you..... HOW DARE YOU!” Fluttershy screams out.

====================================================

Twilight looks at the TV screen as the building explodes in a ball of fire. Two brown earth ponies shoot off into the air like a rocket vanishing from view in the sky with a twinkle.

Thunder rolls as a very ticked off yellow pegasus rushes out of the building screaming bloody murder at anyone around her. The rampaging mare rushes out of the town charging into the tall grass towards the trainers in the field.

“I GOT YOUR DRYING PAN RIGHT HERE” Fluttershy screams out along with the sound of something burning and the clang of metal.

Twilight sighs.” Okay, who thought it was a good idea to put Fluttershy into a Pokemon story?”

“And how did your Rattata get that high!!?!? FIGHTING?! WANNA KNOW WHAT THAT FELT LIKE TO HIM YOU COLT PUNK!!” shouts Fluttershy acompained by the sound of cracking bone and screaming.

Pinkie Pie, Applejack ,and Discord all look up from the TV at Twilight, then as one they point to the little black rabbit sitting on the other side of the room with a smirk on his face.

“TEAM ROCKET THIS!!” hollers Fluttershy along with the sound of shredding material and something heavy hitting a wall.

Twilight sighs rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “This will not end well.”

“Who gives a buck about your shorts!!!” Fluttershy yells accompanied by an explosion.

TDR presents

Ponies. Ruin. EVERYTHING!

Rule 85 in action.

Author's Note

based more on the first Pokemon game than the TV series.

This is what happens when i get a wild idea and simply roll with it.

I have no idea where or even if i am going any where with this .

"Supplies"

Ponies. Ruin. Everything!
By TDR

“Supplies”

60's disco music starts playing as a Diamond Dog rushes though an ally turning around as he knocks boxes aside firing a crossbow back into the other end of the ally.

NEXT WEEK, ON E62. <

The Diamond Dog stumbles over the boxes and falls face first to the ground.

SHE'S BACK.<

A gold covered hoof steps in front of the dogs face. The Diamond dog slowly lifts his gaze up the white furred leg.

AND THIS TIME, SHE'S MAD!<

The Dog's gaze finally reaches the top of the leg to show a rather disappointed looking Celestia with her mane missing and a lead pipe gripped in her magic, glaring down at the fallen Diamond Dog.

GHANDEITY TWO!<

The scene shifts to a group of Shadow Bolts trotting down the street.

NO MORE MISS PASSIVE RESISTANCE.<

One of them draws a knife as Celestia steps out in front of them waving her hoof towards them in the come here gesture.

SHE'S OUT TO KICK SOME FLANK!<

The Shadow Bolts rush her. She grabs one of their wings kicking the pony in the jaw before catching another that tried to jump on her and flips him into a wall. She turns and kicks out with her hind legs hitting another in the chest and flinging him into a dumpster.

THIS IS ONE BAD MOTHER YOU DON'T WANNA MESS WITH.<

The one with the knife moves up and she whips about suddenly driving her horn through his chest. Another drops out of the sky and she whips her wing back knocking him to the ground, her wing snatches the dagger from his muzzle and holds it to his neck.

“Do not move you parasprite dropping.” Celesta stats.

SHE'S A ONE MARE WRECKING CREW.<

The scene changes and Celestia rolls up to a building in her golden chariot being pulled by several Guard Pegasi. She hops out as a griffon runs up and grabs the bird by the head with her hoof slamming it's head repeatedly into the side of her chariot.

BUT SHE ALSO KNOWS HOW TO PARTY!<

The scene changes to show Celestia strutting down a red carpet with a rather scantily clad Rarity to her left and Twilight to her right. A bunch of other ponies mill around the trio snapping pictures though staying respectfully out of her way.

The scene shifts with Celestia seated at a table, Twilight and Rarity on either side of looking over menus. Doughnut Joe trots up dressed as a waiter looking down at them.

“Give me a steak, medium rare,” orders Celestia.

“HEY BALDY!” shouts a voice that sounds like Discord from the other side of the restaurant.

THERE IS ONLY ONE LAW.<

Celestia whips her head around glaring. She flips the table sending the waiter, Rarity and Twilight diving for cover and pulls out a massive party cannon firing it recklessly across the crowded restaurant towards the heckler.

HER LAW!<

The restaurant explodes as Celestia smirks still rapidly firing the cannon.

GHANDEITY TWO!<

********************************

“Well that was ….. strange.” comments Applejack as the commercial goes off.

“Ehh, it's not bad, but I prefer Fluttershy's Wild Kingdom. “Pinkie Pie states. “ Yesterday I learned that turtles are natures suction cups!”

“Errrr, ooookay” AJ mutters.

Author's Note

UHF for the win!!!

“Can you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll”

Ponies. Ruin. EVERYTHING!
By TDR

“Can you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll”

“OH BY CELESTIA DID YOU SEE THAT APPLEJACK!!” Rainbow Dash shouts a microphone in her hoof as she stands up behind the podium pointing to ring. The cyan mare was dressed in a royal purple robe with a crown perched haphazardly on her head.

A massive crowd of ponies behind them on the other side of a retaining wall scream out. A gray unicorn stallion with amber colored hair, wearing a black and purple spandex outfit and mask, lifts a brown earth pony in a blue spandex outfit that looks like a police box over his head with his hooves and slams him down on to the ring floor causing the whole thing to bounce.

“AND THE DEMON OF DULLAHAN BODY SLAMS THE TIME LORD TO THE MAT CAN THIS MATCH GET ANY MORE EXCITING!!!??” Dash screams as AJ adjusts her cowboy hat a little and nods trying not to get too wrapped up in the insanity of her friend.

The unicorn clamors up one of the posts on the side of the square ring before leaping off into the air and crashing down heavily atop of the earth pony.

“FIVE BEAST HARMONY SPLASH ,DID YOU SEE THAT AJ!?” Dash freaks out.

“Yeah ah saw it..... and the refs in the ring now.....” AJ monotones.

A zebra with a mo-hawk slides into the ring slapping her hoof on the mat as the unicorn pins the earth pony.

“And that's the ten count!” states AJ into her mic as the crowd roars. She reaches up grabbing Dash by the tail and pulls her back down to her seat as the pegasus starts to float away in the awesome.

The ref moves over to the side of the stage grabbing a large gold belt and bringing it back to give to the unicorn. The stallion roars out holding the belt over his head and screaming back at the crowd as he paces around the stage. The earth pony groans rolling off the side of the ring under the ropes and rushes off back stage.

“And so the Demon of Dullahan retains the Equestrian championship title belt, defending it yet again from another challenger.” Applejack rambles off.

“Wait what's this!? Dash shouts.

A blue pegasus dressed like a Wonderbolt with windswept dark blue hair glides down landing lightly behind the parading unicorn. The Demon of Dullahan turns just in time to be slammed in the face by a chair by the pegasus.

“WHERE THE HECK DID WONDER BOLT COME FROM?” Rainbow Dash screams nearly losing her crown.

“He was supposed to be out with a wing strain after his fight with the with the Super Chief.” AJ calls out.

“Yeah that buffalo packed a wallop I thought for sure Wonderbolt wouldn't make it!” Dash yells as the Wonderbolt repeatedly beats the crap out of the unicorn with the folding chair.

“I guess he couldn't pass up a chance at the title. It may have been a mistake by the Demon to have an open challenge any where any time for the belt. Seems his arrogance might have finally.... Wait now what!?” AJ explains.

Rightsaidfred's I’m too sexy starts blaring and a red earth pony stallion with black hair gallops down the stage ramp towards the ring. The stallions spandex suit was covered in red hearts and arrows. The stallion reaches the retaining wall running up it before leaping into the air and soaring over the ring ropes to smash into the pegasus.

“OH BY CELESTIA'S FIRM SLAPPABLE PLOT IT IS THE BIG RED LOVE MACHINE HIMSELF. THE DEMON'S FORMER TAG TEAM PARTNER.!” Dash screams getting pulled back down to her seat by AJ again.

“The question is though, did Big Red come down here to help his former teammate or to get the belt himself?” AJ questions

The red earth pony stares down at the unicorn on the mat, the unicorn stares up at him with a bit of worry on his masked face. The red stallion lifts a hoof offering it to the unicorn who takes it and is pulled back up to his hooves. The pair of ponies nod to each other before rushing over and starting to stomp the pegasus.

“WHAT A REVERSAL THIS IS UNHEARD OF IN THIS ARENA!!” Dash screams her voice starting to go a little horse.

Another set of theme music starts to play and Both the Demon of Dullahan and the Big Red Love Machine turn away from the cringing Wonderbolt as the ramp leading backstage explodes in a series of fireworks as a massive red stallion with blond hair in a black spandex suit steps out glaring at the pair in the ring. Johnny Cash's 'When the man comes around,' starts blaring in the background.

“By the stars it's THE BIG EEYUP.!” AJ suddenly shouts. “ this match has just gotten even betta!”

The massive stallion thunders down the ring yanking out one of the corner posts to climb in before slamming it back into it's spot and looming over the two smaller contestants. The pegasus recovers enough to hop up and land next to the newcomer a grin on his face.

“WAIT WONDERBOLT AND THE BIG EEYUP ARE WORKING TOGETHER? WHAT A TWIST!” Rainbow Dash screams her voice finally giving out.

**************************

“Lulu are you watching that EWF thing again?” Celestia questions trotting into the living room looking over at the TV then to her sister who sat with rapt attention on the edge of the couch. “ How can you watch this drivel sister? It is all staged you know.”

“It matters not if it is real my dear Tia. It features attractive muscular stallions in tight fitting clothing that shows off thine assets quite nicely. How does thou not like to witness such things?”Luna retorts her eyes not leaving the screen.

Celestia blinks looking at her sister then the TV As the Big Red Love machine was Flung out of the ring by the Wonderbolt, and the Demon of Dullahan was trying to put a sleeper hold on The Big Eeyup.

“Move over sister.....”Celestia mutters shoeing her sister to one side of the couch.

Author's Note

Wrastling, is there a finer faux sport?

And yes that was a cameo by SiS's very own Jer'rahd and Rhede, with Zecora as the ref!

Monday the 9th

Ponies. Ruin. EVERYTHING!
By TDR

Monday the 9th

Rainbow Dash stared down at horror at the body of Rarity, lying in a pool of red that surrounded her still form. The crimson soaked into her white coat,staining it, as she lay motionless on the cabins floor.