The Adventures of Max Charming McWonderSteed

It was another stereotypical day in Ponyville. The brightness of the sun, much like its caretaker, caused blindness to those who dared to gaze upon it directly. Birds screamed their songs of discontent, waking the ponies to a day of shopping, lounging, and other miniscule activities. As was the norm, six locally famous ponies were also currently following their daily rituals. Twilight Sparkle frantically ran around town, distributing books to illiterate ponies and books in braille to those who challenged to power of the sun; Fluttershy continued to defy nature by caring for animals that should have the ability to care for themselves; Rarity fashioned clothes for beings that would never need them, locking herself in a spiral of redundancy; Applejack harvested crops in ways that would make any environmentalist cringe; Rainbow Dash slept, paying no attention to the incoming summertime blizzard; and finally, Pinkie Pie produced sugary mayhem with her cavity causing treats. This day was shaping up to be much like the day before as well as each day that would follow, but the goddess of fate had different plans; plans that would forever change the lives of Ponyvillians.

Unbeknownst to the residents of this backwoods village, a strange figure emerged from the depths of the Everfree Forest, creeping slowly toward the village inhabitants. As the unknown traveler passed by each individual, he was greeted with dilated eyes, gaping mouths, and squees of delight. The reason for such odd behavior is due to the citizens having never gazed upon such beauty in their lives. What lay before them could only be described as walking perfection. His beach blond hair seemed to flow in unnatural motion even though not a single gust of wind was scheduled to blow that day. His eyes shined a shade of green that would cause a stone of flawless emerald to cry in shame. His coat was the color of freshly fallen show, and radiating from his body was the pleasant smell of pine and lemons. The cutie mark that he bared on his flank could not be described for it glowed with such brilliance that no being could view it. Although he took the form of an Earth Pony, this stallion was surly a god walking among ponies. As he wondered through town, spectacular occurrences seemed to follow him wherever he went. When he passed Roseluck’s flower shop, each flower instantly bloomed, revealing colors that before this time did not exist. A foal in a wheelchair was granted the ability to walk after receiving a simple wink from this grand stallion as he walked past the Ponyville hospital. He cleared away all traces of the incoming blizzard with a single stomp of one hoof, generating cheers from the entire weather team.

At this time many miles away in the royal city of Canterlot, laid a castle housing the two royal sisters of the land. One of the sisters, who possessed the power to raise and lower the sun each day, was discussing the day’s political objectives with her most trusted captain and newly acquired nephew. “Tough it has taken many days for the figureheads in the northern nation to finally reach an understanding; we can finally beg-” Celestia paused as though being hit with a ginormous weight in her chest, leaving an expression of shock throughout her figure.

“Are you okay, princess?” replied Shining Armor.

“It is a presence I have not felt for many a year. One that can only belong to one individual, Max Charming McWonderSteed,” Celestia blushed as the name exited her lips.

The actions that followed would have left Shining Armor speechless if he had not mirrored the actions that followed. After placing one hoof on her forehead, Celestia fainted.

“I have heard tales of this pony, though I would have never thought the tales to be true. Truly he is a pony of legend,” Shining sighed after regaining consciousness.

Back in Ponyville, chaos was spreading for in the distance, a ship of grand scale sailed toward the village at an alarming rate. This would not have been seen as an unusual sight if it was not for the fact that no body of water existed for hundreds of miles in any direction. The ship ripped through Sweet Apple Acres like a hot knife through butter, leaving in its wake a very baffled Applejack. After many miles of destruction, the ship dropped anchor just a few feet from the front door of a hollowed out tree, leaving a gaping hole and drastically dropping the real estate value of the house. The captain of the vessel, a darkly feathered gryphon sporting a beard of ebony, gracefully flew down to the entrance of the offended home and softly knocked on the wooden door three times.

Opening the door was a pony of pure fury. “Do you have any idea what you have just done? You caused injury to countless ponies, caused millions of bits in damage, and most importantly, you have interrupted my reading time!” yelled the irate purple pony.

“I care not for what harm my actions may have caused,” responded the gryphon in a slight British accent, “for I am Captain Blackbeak, most feared pirate captain of the Equestrian Sea, and since this world is made up of only one sea, that makes me the most feared pirate in all the land. I have traveled far, challenging many foes and claiming the land of those of whom I defeat. I have come here to challenge the great Twilight Sparkle and her friends to see who the greatest fighter in the land is.”

“It is true that no other is stronger than my friends and I. To protect the citizens of this village from your recklessness, I accept your challenge on one condition. If we win, you must give up your life of piracy and promise to live a life free of evil,” Twilight answered.

“Fantastic, gather your friends and meet me on the deck of my ship; we will hold the battle that will determine the fate of this land there,” Blackbeak smirked.

Sometime later, on board of the pirate’s grand ship stood six ponies, the only barrier keeping the surrounding land from falling into the grasp of the gryphon standing before them. “Because I view myself as a proper gentlegryphon and wish to end this as quickly as possible, I will grant your group one attack, if it fails, I deem myself as victor, will this rule suit you?” the gryphon spoke with a knowing grin that this battle was already won no matter what the answer.

“This will be fine,” replied the groups’ self-proclaimed leader, “with the elements on our side, this will be a breeze.”

Forming a line in front of the captain, each of the ponies placed around their neck a piece of jewelry engraved with a stone in the shape of each wearer’s cutie mark. The leader placed a crown which also beards a stone representing her cutie mark on top of her head. As the last piece of jewelry snapped in place, each began to glow, emitting a light that matched the stone’s color. Stepping forward, Twilight began to lift off the ground, causing a look of confusion to spread across the gryphon’s face. She continued her ascension into the air until at least four feet of air was occupying the space between her and the ground. When her ascent ended, the light emitting from each stone turned to a prismatic beam, creating a bridge from one necklace to the next before transferring to the top of the floating pony’s crown. The gryphon could only watch in awe as the rainbow light exploded from the crown, blasting forward toward the pirate at a blinding speed. When the rainbow of light connected, it bounced off the gryphon and few off into the distance, forming a new multicolored star.

“What happened, the magic of the elements have never failed before, how is this possible?” came a heavy breathed statement from the exhausted purple leader.

“By any chance was that little performance of yours magic based? Do you not know that magic has no effect on pirates?” Blackbeak said with a hearty chuckle.

Twilight facehoofed, “I cannot believe I have forgotten such a widely known fact.”

“I guess you have no choice but to surrender everything to me for I-” Blackbeak’s words were cut short by the sudden appearance of a new presence.

“That will not happen if I have anything to do with it,” came a voice from the mysterious being.

“Surly you, an earth pony, do not believe you can fight me after witnessing the failure of the greatest heroes this land possesses,” Blackbeak laughed.

“I do not need the power of magic to be able to defeat you for I have something much more powerful than magical trinkets. I shall defeat you with the power of charisma,” McWonderSteed smiled, revealing glistening teeth which reflected and enhanced the power of the sun, blinding the gryphon into submission.

“I give up, there is no fighting somepony of such brilliance, I promise to never use my pirate powers for evil ever again,” Blackbeard whimpered while bowing in both respect as well as attempting to shield his eyes. After vowing to return the land he had taken to their rightful owners, Blackbeak quickly fled, never to be heard from again.
“Now that I have saved this land from tyranny, I must take my leave,” McWondersteed heroically proclaimed as he summoned beside himself a contraption that has never been seen in the land of Equestria, a motorcycle possessing dual exhaust, rainbow tassels, and a roaring engine that could be heard for miles around. Popping a wheelie, he said his farewells to the citizens of Ponyville, wishing them a pleasant life and expressing his desire to visit again someday. McWonderSteed rode off into the sunset, displaying a scene of majestic style that could only be rivaled by the one of which he arrived by.

It was an early morning in Ponyville. The flames of the street lamps were dying down, foretelling the coming of the sun that would soon rise. Off in the distance, a single light shined from the second story of the town’s library. Found within was Spike, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. As he wiped away the recently applied water from his bloodshot eyes, a single thought passed through his mind. ‘Man, what a crazy dream. That is the last time I ever eat a dozen chili dogs before bed.’