Snow In Equestria

December 14, 2012

“Five more minutes, Mom…” I groaned pleadingly as something prodded my side.

“I’m not your mother,” a voice replied sternly, still poking at my ribs. “But you need to get up, it’s ten o’clock, and the princess will be here in a few hours.”

I slowly opened my eyes, and as Twilight came into view, I recalled the events of yesterday.

“Oh, right… sorry Mommy.”

“I’m still not your Mom! And like I said, you need to make yourself presentable for Princess Celestia,” she continued.

I climbed out of bed and looked down at myself. I shook my head a few times to make my unruly mane about one percent more presentable.

“Meh.” Meh.

“Meh?” Twilight echoed quizzically.

“Meh.”

“No! Not Meh!”

“Relax, I look fine,” I tried to convince her, “You said a couple hours, right? I have plenty of time.”

“At least take a shower,” she implored.

“No time, gotta go!” I called back to her as I dashed out of the room and down the stairs. There was something I needed to do first. Something that required the assistance of a certain cyan pegasus. I needed to learn how to fly.

“Aha!” I mused to myself as I spotted my target. She was taking a nap on a cloud about fifty feet above my head.

“Hey Dashie!” I yelled. There was no response.

“Dashie!” I called again, eliciting a tired grumble from above. Eventually, the mare leaned over the side of the fluffy white surface and looked down.

“Oh, it’s you,” she deadpanned. “What was it, Snap… Snail?”

“Snow… my name is Snow. Get down here for a minute,” I called up to her.

“Why?”

“Just do it!”

“Fine!”

She rolled off the cloud and gracefully descended to the ground in front of me.

“What’s up?” she asked half disinterestedly.

“I need you to teach me how to fly.”

She then proceeded to cause my ego to implode by rolling on the ground and laughing uncontrollably. I waited patiently for the laughter to die down and for her to stand up.

“Oh, you were serious?” she asked curiously.

I nodded my head slowly, hoping that we could get on with the flying. I only had about two hours until the princess arrived and I had to be back at Twilight’s house before then. Rainbow Dash started laughing again, but I intervened before it got too out of control.

“Hey, stop it! I only have a couple of hours and I need your help. Can you teach me or not?” I asked a bit more impatiently.

“Alright, alright. Jeez, calm down,” she said before regaining her poise and standing up to me. She walked around to my side and examined me.

“Okay, just try extending your wings and flapping to get a feel for them,” she said.

I did as I was instructed. I flipped my wings open and heard a ‘pomf!’ shortly followed by a loud smack.

The loud smack was my right wing colliding with Rainbow Dash’s face. Apparently, she forgot how long my wings were and stood too close. She got a mouthful of my feathers and stumbled backwards.

Slowly, she stood up with her eyes squinted menacingly at me. I smiled at her nervously and I was about to apologize, but instead I just got punched in the jaw.

“My bad…” I squeaked out from the ground, both of my hooves covering my mouth at the point of impact.

“Yeah, it was! Now, let’s try this again,” she offered.

I stood back up with my wings clamped tightly to my sides to prevent any more accidents. She stood in front of me this time and told me to do the same thing. I extended my wings again, this time a little slower, and began flapping.

I only made it about ten feet up before crashing down to the ground. Rainbow Dash snickered, which was no help, but I got up and tried the same thing again. This time, I successfully flapped my wings four or five times and made it up to the cloud that Rainbow Dash was previously napping on.

“Hey Dashie, look! I’m you!” I called to her as I pretended to sleep, fake snoring like a boss. She flew up next to me and observed.

“Very funny…” she said flatly as she jumped on the cloud next to me, disrupting my faux slumber. “And didn’t I tell you not to call me ‘Dashie’?” she asked rhetorically before shoving me off of the cloud. Luckily, I was starting to get the hang of this and was able to fly in place instead of falling back down to the ground.

“Ha! I’m actually flying! Look Dashie!” I exclaimed jubilantly. She simply groaned in frustration. Whatever, I was flying.

“Yeah, whatever. I bet you couldn’t fly all the way back to Twilight’s house though,” she challenged. Said challenge was quickly and stupidly accepted.

“Oh, you’re on!” I countered before steadily flying off in the other direction. She flew next to me, making sure that I carried out the challenge properly. She continued to inch on front of me as we flew, coaxing me to go faster.

She was obviously barely trying to stay with my pathetic pace; although, the feeling of flying began to seem more and more natural.

The view was really nice from way up here with the clouds. I could understand why Dashie spent most of her time in the sky. It was also a bit cooler and the breeze felt good.

After a few minutes, I was going almost as fast as I could, but she inched forward still. I started flying even faster, and soon enough, Twilight’s tree came into view. I started descending, and Rainbow Dash did the same, staying close to my side.

I looked to the side as something flashy caught my eye. I saw a couple guards standing around a large, white and gold object that looked similar to what I imagined Santa’s sleigh looked like.

Oh snap ~!

Celestia was here. Unfortunately, the shiny sleigh distracted me enough that my left wing clipped the top of a tree. I began falling at a very high velocity towards Twilight’s house. Dashie sped up and flew next to me in an effort to help me, but I ended up grabbing her by the hoof and dragging her down with me.

Together, we crashed through Twilight’s roof and into her living room. Again, my wings began glowing and broke my fall, while my body broke Dashie’s fall. Once I was sure it was over, I began to open my eyes.

The first thing I saw was Rainbow Dash lying on top of me, coughing and sputtering, having had the wind knocked out of her. Soon I realized I was lying in a me-sized hole in Twilight’s floor, with a shocked and confused princess looking down at me. Twilight wasn’t confused, but boy, she was angry. I glanced up at the princess, feeling that an introduction was in order.

“Hullo, I’m snow!” I said cheerfully as my wings contracted back to my sides, causing the princess to jump a little.

“Snow!” Twilight reprimanded, turning my attention away from the princess.

“Oh, umm… hey Twilight. What’s up?” I asked fretfully, afraid of what an angry Twilight Sparkle could do to me.

A purple aura of light then surrounded both me and Rainbow Dash and stood us up outside of the dent in the floor. The princess continued to stare at me, but said nothing. I took the time to fix my mane the best I could and brush the dirt off of me. I then looked up at the princess.

That supposed ethereal glow that Celestia is always associated with was even more evident in person. Her mane was very long and looked as if it were being blown by a gentle breeze; although, there was no abnormal draft present inside of Twilight’s living room. She seemed otherworldly, but then again, this was a different world. Anything was possible, I suppose.

“Hello, Snow,” she eventually said in that familiar, regal, unfaltering tone.

Rainbow Dash had finally recovered and once she noticed the princess, she immediately bowed. I looked at her and realized that I had done no such thing. I poorly imitated her, but it would have to suffice for now.

“Sorry, your majesty,” I said in a completely out of character voice.

“That’s quite alright,” she replied, her voice sounding sweet and comforting. “I heard about you in Twilight’s letter. Are you alright? That fall looked pretty rough.”

“I’m fine, thanks. I just learned how to fly,” I said somewhat excitedly. “And my wings protect me whenever I fall. I don’t know exactly how it works, but it seems like they automatically protect me from any physical harm. It’s kinda interesting, actually.”

“Very interesting indeed,” she replied calmly. “We should talk, Snow. Should we move someplace more comfortable?”

“Absolutely, your highness,” Twilight immediately offered. “Please, make yourselves comfortable,” she said to no pony in particular. “I’ll get some drinks for us.”

Twilight went into the kitchen and left me with the princess. Rainbow Dash took her leave, knowing that this probably wasn’t her place to butt in right now, but she would surely get me back later for crashing us into Twilight’s house.

We sat down on opposite sides of the small sitting area. There were two couches facing inwards towards a coffee table in the center, and we each sat on one.

“So, who’s in charge of the castle in Canterlot while you’re gone? Is that Luna’s job?” I asked, trying to make this feel more like a conversation than an interrogation, which was probably closer to the reality of it.

“Yes, it is. How do you know of Canterlot and my sister?”

Crap. Stupid me just had to go revealing some of my knowledge of Equestria.

“Twilight told me,” I lied. She seemed to buy it, and we moved on.

“Where are you from, Snow?” she asked boldly, but still in her calm, soothing voice.

“I’m from Earth,” I answered tentatively. “Have you ever heard of it?”

“I’m afraid I haven’t. Is it very much like here in Equestria?”

“Well, not really. First of all, the only sentient creatures on Earth are humans. There are no ponies.” I figured it was safer to say that there were no ponies than to explain how ponies were just stupid animals where I came from.

“Oh, that is certainly different.”

“And it’s so peaceful here,” I continued. “Is there even any war here?”

“There hasn’t been any war in Equestria for a little over a thousand years,” she replied, quite pleased with the current status of her country.

Twilight returned with the drinks and set one in front of each of us on the coffee table. I hesitantly took a sip. Luckily it was tea, and not some weird, pony drink. It was pretty good tea too. I moved over to one side of the couch to allow Twilight to sit down as well before continuing.

“Wow, world peace,” I mused.

“Is there a lot of war on Earth?” she asked, sounding slightly concerned. I figured there would be no point in not being completely honest with her.

“Constantly. There hasn’t been any period of time that I know of where there was no war,” I replied rather casually.

“Oh,” was all she said. “Anyways, Twilight said that you had some rather interesting gadgets with you?”

“Oh, right! My phone and gum,” I remembered. I never did find a way to put them back, so I just kept them in Twilight’s guest room. One thing that I noticed was the battery life on my phone. My phone remained fully charged no matter how much I used it; although, there was still no service.

“I’ll be right back,” I promised before dashing up to my room. I had been practicing using my hooves as well. The night prior, I fiddled with the pack of gum until I could easily take out a piece and unwrap it. I also discovered that when I ran out of gum, all I had to do was take another pack out of thin air, just like I had the first time.

I ran into my room and headed for the bedside table. So far I had three packs of gum: ‘Rain,’ ‘Cobalt,’ and ‘RPM.’ After clamping the gum and phone between my teeth, I made my way back to the living room where Celestia and Twilight were patiently awaiting my return.

“Ah gah ‘mah stah,” I mumbled though the objects in my mouth. The princess cocked her head, so I set the stuff down on the coffee table and repeated.

“I got my stuff.” The princess nodded in understanding and waited for me to situate myself back on the couch. I sat down next to Twilight again and spread the objects out on the table.

“This is chewing gum,” I explained, shoving the packs of gum to the side. “And this is my cell phone,” I continued, picking up the phone and maneuvering it a little before locking it again.

“It lets me talk to other people and use the internet,” I explained.

“Yes, yes. Twilight told me in her letter,” she replied.

“Well, your letters are pretty detailed, aren’t they?” I asked as I turned to Twilight.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she replied shyly, taking it as a complement.

“Well then, would you like some gum, princess?” I asked as I picked up the pack of RPM and took one piece out for myself and another piece to offer to Celestia.

“Oh, um… sure?” she replied with an uneasy smile. I quickly unwrapped my piece and began chewing it. I hoofed her one and she hesitantly copied me.

“Don’t swallow it,” I instructed. Her eyes lit up after a few seconds once the flavor kicked in.

“This is… interesting, to say the least,” she commented after a few moments.

“Yeah, I was surprised that you didn’t have anything like this in Equestria. This is such a common thing on Earth, or at least in America, and our worlds seem pretty closely linked. For one thing, we both speak the exact same language, except for a few nuances that seem purely based on our anatomy. Like the difference between ‘somebody’ and ‘somepony,’” I thought aloud.

“Yes, that does seem very peculiar,” she replied. “Luna would be interested in this chewing gum of yours. I should tell her about this when I return to Canterlot,” she decided. “Which brings me to another point. I’d think it would be in our best interest for you to come back to the castle for a little while.”

My first thought was ‘Hell yeah! I’m going to Canterlot!’, but then I realized that I wouldn’t get to hang out with the mane six anymore, and I hadn’t even met Pinkie Pie or Rarity yet, which was just ridiculous.

“Oh, well… umm…”

“Yes?”

“I was just hoping to… maybe make some friends here before I had to leave?” I asked a bit sheepishly, hoping that friendship was a soft spot for the princess.

“You’ll have plenty of time for that later. You’ll only need to stay at the castle for a little while, and then you’ll be able to go anywhere you want,” she promised, her gaze softening.

“Oh… okay,” I said, standing up along with her.

 We said our goodbyes and I followed the princess outside, where the shiny sleigh awaited our return. I climbed in after the princess and we took off.

The sleigh was being pulled by two royal pegasus guards. The chariot was large enough to comfortably fit about ten ponies, and it seemed heavy enough, but it didn’t look like too much work for the guards. I decided to blame magic and didn’t question it for the time being. Instead, I pulled out a new pack of spearmint gum and took a piece out. I offered some to the princess, but she declined, so I threw the rest of the pack off the side of the chariot. No point in keeping it when I can just pull out another whenever I need it.

“This sleigh thing is pretty cool,” I commented, turning the princess’ attention towards me. “So you can just ride this around whenever you want?”

“Well, I suppose I could use the chariot whenever I want, but I don’t just take it out for joyrides,” she replied.

“Why not?” I replied flippantly. “You’re the friggin’ princess. You can do whatever you want, right?”

“That’s not exactly how it works,” she chuckled.

“Ah, so it’s glamorous for the public, but all work back at the castle?”

“Yes, actually, it’s very much like that. Do you hold any royal position on Earth?” she asked curiously.

“Nope,” I chuckled. “There is no royalty in the part of Earth that I’m from. Our country is run by a democracy. Actually it’s a democratic republic, but it’s a similar idea.”

“A democracy?” she said, seemingly imagining what it would be like. “Does it function well?” she asked, obviously doubtful of the stability of such a government.

“It works as well as your autocracy does, I suppose. I think the current situation of Earth is more the people’s fault, not their ruler. Humans are generally violent and selfish as a whole. And compared to our world, your world is like an unreachable paradise. But the average human isn't bad, and I suppose I’m pretty average,” I explained.

“You speak pretty lowly of your home world. Wouldn't you like to go back?”

“Maybe one day,” I speculated. “I haven’t really decided yet.” And as I said that, I thought, ‘As long as there’s a pony in Equestria that I haven’t hugged, I’m not going back to Earth.’

“My dad will probably be out looking for me, and my friends might miss me, but they could probably live without me for a little while,” I decided. “Also, there’s one thing I’ve wanted to know for a long time…”

“Oh, what is that?” she responded. I wasn’t really sure how to ask this, because I wasn’t sure if the question would be rude or not, given the peculiar circumstances.

“How, um… old… are you?” I asked rather quietly.

“Oh. Well, umm…”

“Sorry if that was rude. You don’t look old at all,” I attempted to explain. “I don’t really know how long ponies live, but a human’s life span is only about eighty years.”

“I’ve been around for a while,” she answered before sighing. “I’m two-thousand eight-hundred and twelve years old,” she answered quickly, sort of avoiding my gaze.

Damn lady! You old!

I tried to keep my jaw from dropping and erase any sign of how absolutely astounded I was.

“Oh, cool,” I replied hoarsely. “I’m fifteen…” I added softly, my mind still attempting to comprehend the impossible. Just like last time, I eventually gave up and blamed it on magic.

“Really, you’re only fifteen?” she asked dubiously. “I thought you’d be at least as old as Twilight and her friends.”

“Huh? How old are they?” I asked.

“Twilight is twenty-two years old, as of last week actually. And the rest are similar in age,” she replied.

“Really? They’re that old?” She nodded. “How long is your lifespan?”

“Most alicorns usually live about fifteen to twenty millennia,” she replied casually.

“So you’re pretty young yourself,” I calculated, realizing that she was only about sixteen or so in comparison to a human. “Whoa! Look at that!” I suddenly exclaimed, leaning out the side of the chariot.

Canterlot was quickly approaching, and I could see the castle sticking high out of the clump of buildings attached to the side of a cliff. Suddenly, my hoof slipped and I fell forward. I would have fallen off of the chariot, but Celestia quickly grabbed me in her magic and pulled me back to the seat next to her.

“Be careful!” she ordered. “And yes, that would be Canterlot, I know it well.”

“Thanks princess,” I chuckled humorlessly, still marveling at the golden city on the cliff. Finally, we were getting somewhere.