Snow In Equestria

December 19, 2012

A very surprised, very feminine outcry disrupted my slumber. I wasn’t aware enough to react to it at first, but I woke up quickly when some form of magic repeatedly hit me in the face and head.

“H-hey! What’s going on!?” I cried, my voice cracking in surprise. The magic then lifted me into the air and the lights flicked on in an instant.

Celestia’s face was staring at me with unfamiliarity for a moment before she recognized me and groaned out of frustration. Her regalia were already removed and she looked like she had been asleep for a little while, so I assumed she hadn’t noticed me until she felt me in the dark or something.

“Snow!” she chided, “What are you doing in my bed?”

“What… What time is it?” I asked tiredly before yawning, as she placed me back onto the top of the bed. She herself was standing next to the bed, having apparently jumped out of it when she was startled.

“About one o’clock in the morning,” she replied quickly, “Now, what are you doing?”

“I’ve been asleep for like five hours already. How did you not notice me until now?”

“O-Oh. My shift went late tonight,” she explained, suddenly a bit flustered, “I just got back from the throne room and got into my bed. I noticed you about five minutes after that when you hugged me – in your sleep, apparently.”

“…Did I really?” I asked incredulously. Well, it’s not the strangest thing to happen so far, “My bad. Your bed is really comfortable, by the way,” I stated awkwardly.

“Well, I’m too tired to do anything about it now. Either go back to sleep here or on that pillow you’re so fond of,” she offered tiredly, climbing back into her own bed.

I guess sharing a bed wasn’t that big of a deal in Equestria. The bed was huge, so I just slipped into it on the opposite end. Trust me; if you knew how ridiculously comfortable her bed was, you would have done the same thing. The light’s flickered out and the room was once again plunged into darkness.

I woke about nine hours later. That was by far the longest night’s sleep I’d gotten in a while, and if I could help it, I wasn’t going to leave this bed until somepony made me. Celestia was still there, which was expected because she had worked the late shift the night before.

By the time I woke up I was laying sideways, completely on top of Celestia, so I immediately moved and lay next to her, waiting to see if she had noticed. I move around a lot in my sleep, I guess. She shifted a little but became still again. I let out a breath that I was subconsciously holding, surprising myself doing so.

Unfortunately, the breath was a little louder than intended and she stirred again. This time, she rolled over and yawned, just millimeters from my own snout with her eyes still closed. Wow, she had a big mouth.

Her eyes fluttered a little, and once I was sure that she was about to open them, I closed my own in a desperate attempt to save my ass. I quickly shut my eyes and pretended to sleep.

I flapped my ears down just in time to slightly muffle her shriek, but I couldn’t have done anything to soften the blow of her hoof to my face.

“I’m so sorry, I’d forgotten you were here!” she exclaimed once she looked around and saw what she had done.

“It’s good to know that I’m easily forgettable,” I replied, rubbing my offended nose. Slightly to my surprise, there was definitely not a lack of blood on my hoof as I held it up to my gaze.

“Here, let me help,” she said, snaking one of her hooves towards my face. I immediately recoiled and flopped out of the bed like a fish, landing painfully on the floor.

“Snow!” Celestia exclaimed.

Sure, my nose was bleeding, but it wasn’t a very bad injury. I tend to get a lot of nose bleeds, and I was determined to draw this out as painfully as possible for Celestia. I tumbled my way to the door and leaned out of it.

I looked down the hallway and spotted the perfect setup. Three conversing ponies, including Silvermane, Luna, and Twilight were no more than twenty feet away, walking in my direction. Oh, yes, this was going to be fun.

“Celestia, I’m sorry!” I exclaimed as I crawled out of the doorway, blood covering my hooves and face. That really got the mares attention.

“Snow!?” Luna said affrightedly.

“It was an accident, I promise!” I continued.

“Get back in here, Snow!” Celestia huffed, dragging me back in and shutting the door with her magic

.

As soon as the door was shut, I burst out laughing, knowing from experience that Celestia’s room was well soundproofed.

“Ungrateful blankflank! It's too early for this!” She shouted at me once I was inside, “Aren’t you hurt?”

“Not really, this happens a lot,” I replied, gasping for breath.

“I’m not surprised,” she deadpanned in response, “Now, clean yourself up.”

Celestia produced a towel out of nowhere and dropped it on my face. She then put her on her regalia and opened the door.

“I’m leaving, and I’m going to explain to whoever was out there what actually happened. And you should consider taking a shower for once,” she advised not so subtlety.

“Thanks. I’ll consider it,” I replied, wiping the blood away and then standing to my hooves. Celestia shut the door and then I climbed back into her bed. I pulled the sheets up over my shoulder and closed my eyes, sighing to myself.

I made a goal about right then. My goal was to be super lazy that day. Like, ridiculously so.

Celestia soon left and I slept for another hour until somepony else entered the room. I looked up to see an orange mare in a traditional French maid’s outfit entering the room with a cart full of various cleaning supplies. The orange unicorn shut the door and went about her business. She obviously hadn’t noticed me yet.

“So, that’s how Celestia’s room gets nice and clean every day,” I commented, putting my forelegs behind my head and leaned back against the headboard.

“Oh my Celestia!” she exclaimed, dropping a spray bottle of who knows what that she had in her telekinesis. She looked up and examined me for a moment. “I didn’t know anypony else was in here. I’ll leave now,” she said embarrassedly.

“No, no it’s fine,” I assured her. “I was thinking about leaving soon anyways. Celestia oh-so-kindly recommended that I take a shower.”

“Oh…” she replied, hesitantly picking up the spray bottle again and heading towards the bookshelves. “Well, I’m Orange Star... Just Star will do though.”

“Okay Star, I’m Snow,” I told her, closing my eyes and letting out a long breath.

“Oh really? So… you’re the human, r-right?” she asked hesitantly. I reopened my eyes and she was looking at me intently.

“Uh, yeah… Is my name that recognizable?” I asked skeptically.

“‘Uh, yeah,’” she copied me, “You’re an alien from a different universe that has no magic and unbelievable technological achievements. Word spread quickly around the castle.”

“Oh… wow,” was all I said.

“I heard you were really young, but I guess that was just another piece of gossip,” she mused, casually dusting and cleaning the various objects that lined the bookshelves, “I’ve never seen anyone in the princess’s bed before.” She smirked up at me for a moment before looking back to her work.

“I’ve been told that I look older, but I’m fifteen years old,” I told her.

“F-fifteen years old?” she asked, her voice squeaking a little out of surprise. She once again stopped what she was doing to look up at me. “And you’re b-… with Princess Celestia?”

It took me a minute to put that together with her previous statement, but it eventually clicked for me. Nevertheless, I was still taken majorly by surprise.

“N-no! I mean, we’re not… doing… that,” I stammered out awkwardly. She blushed a little and I’m sure my own blush was even more evident.

“Oh… then does she know you’re in her bed?” she countered worriedly.

“Yup,” I replied plainly. She turned to me with a raised eyebrow, so I continued, “Being an alien, I can pretty much get away with anything odd or somewhat unacceptable around here,” I said with a chuckle.

“I’ve noticed,” she replied sardonically.

“Huh? What exactly have you seen?” I asked curiously.

“We’ve met once before, actually,” she said emotionlessly, going about her cleaning.

I tried to recall when we may have met, but I really couldn’t remember.

“Sorry,” I replied softly.

“Let’s see if this rings a bell. ‘Bitch, swerve!’,” she cried in a deep, mocking voice.

Oh God.

The memory was slowly coming back.

~~~

…I suddenly noticed an orange mare in a small, black uniform, right in my path. She had one of those big carts, like a cleaning lady in a hotel. I thought about slowing down, but then decided against it.

“Bitch, swerve!” I cried as I haphazardly shoved her into the wall and landed in front of the doors to the throne room.

Before the mare could respond coherently, I walked into the throne room…

~~~

“Although, being on the other end of that deal sounds like a lot of fun,” she chuckled back, “I might have to join you sometime, if you can get away with things like sleeping in Princess Celestia’s bed.”

“As long as you don’t blow my cover,” I agreed, “I don’t think they understand that the weird things I do aren’t any more normal for a human than they are for a pony. They’re just weird things. Have you ever slept in this bed? It’s amazing!” I exclaimed, rolling around in it extensively.

Eventually, I was completely wrapped in a cocoon blankets, making a mess of the bed.

“Hey!” Star half-shouted, half-laughed, “Don’t mess it up too much, I have to make that!”

“Yeah whatever,” was my muffled reply, rolling off of the bed with all the covers in tow.

“Oh, come on! Now I’m going to have to wash all of those,” she complained, walking over to where I lay on the floor at the foot of the bed.

When she got near enough, I reached up and yanked her down into the massive conglomerate of Celestia’s bed sheets. She yelped in protest at first but then giggled as I rolled around some more and hopelessly entangled us both in the endless sea of fabric.

I stopped to catch my breath after a few moments before Star spoke.

“Oh my goodness, you’re going to break something,” she panted mirthfully. That was my cue to start again, but after only a few seconds, I rolled strait into some object. I instantly looked up and saw a very large bookcase hanging over me.

Everything on the shelves wobbled and shook before the noticeably largest object leaned out a little bit further than it should have. An elliptical purple vase that was about half the size of my body began falling from the highest shelf.

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit

As it got nearer, I noticed that it was even larger than I previously thought, probably large enough for a small pony to fit inside of.

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

When it was no further away than an inch to my face, it was suddenly covered in an orange aura, just hanging there. It took me a moment to realize what had happened, but eventually the vase floated back up to its proper place and I sat up on the floor, still wide-eyed. Star looked a bit shaken as well. Naturally, I jumped up and tackle hugged her.

“You saved me, my Orange Dreamsicle!” I hollered in her ear, hugging her on the floor.

“It’s… Orange Star…” she corrected me whilst being constricted.

“I love you, you saved me!” I squealed in the highest voice I could muster, letting go of her and standing up. She struggled for a moment on the floor before eventually staggering to her hooves.

“Calm down, Snow. We only met a few minutes ago, and you’ve already got me in bed and told me you loved me,” she remarked playfully. She tapped me on the head with her horn, which was a stranger feeling than you’d think.

Technically, we were on the floor, I thought awkwardly.

“I-I…” I started to speak, but my voice cracked. Thanks puberty, I needed that self-confidence. “I think I’ll go take a shower now,” I finished. She giggled at my inopportuneness.

“See you later then,” she chirped as I walked out of the room.

“Hmm…” I mused as I stared at one of my hooves. It appeared to be pruned. I don’t understand how a hard surface like that could get wrinkled after prolonged exposure to water, but sure enough, it was a wrinkled hoof.

I suppose a hoof could become wrinkled eventually, and I had been in the shower for about two hours by then.

Because lazy, that’s why. Also, the water had yet to turn cold, and hot showers are da bomb, yo.

A knock at the door interrupted my train of thought and I looked up from the wrinkled appendage.

“Is anyone in there?” a familiar voice asked.

“Just a minute,” I replied before quickly turning the shower off and drying my mane off with a towel. Draping the towel over my neck, I opened the door, letting profuse amounts of steam exit into the hallway.

“Whoa… Snow?” The orange unicorn said confusedly.

“Eeyup,” I replied in a deep voice, “I’ve been in there for a couple hours. I suppose it was time to get out.”

“Why in Equestria have you been in there for multiple hours!?” she cried, squinting her eyes incredulously at me.

“Uhh… It’s a human thing?”

“Somehow I doubt that, but whatever. Just move so I can clean. This is the last thing I have to do before I can be done for the day,” She explained hastily, pushing past me to get inside.

“Is it that late already? I haven’t even had breakfast yet…” I said mostly to myself, realizing how hungry I had gotten.

“It’s a little late for that,” she chuckled as she did her routine over again in the new room, “unless you normally eat breakfast at two o’clock in the afternoon.”

“Meh, whatever. Can you go make me a sandwich?” I asked hopefully. She looked up for a moment. Her expression said no, but I urged on.

“Technically, I’m still a guest in the castle, and you’re castle staff, right? So you have to make me a sandwich,” I deduced with the largest amount of logic I was willing to use at the moment.

 “…I’m not going to acknowledge that with a proper response, but if you’d like to wait a few minutes, I’ll come to the kitchen with you,” she offered.

“Better than nothing, I suppose,” I mused aloud, “Don’t take too long though.”

“Oh, I won’t,” she promised with a smirk.

“Come onnnnnnn-ah~!” I whined. “You’ve been cleaning for like, three hours!”

“Stop complaining, it’s been like ten minutes,” she deadpanned.

“There,” she said after a few more seconds, “All done. Happy?” she asked as she packed up and pushed the cart out of the room.

“Quite. You take too long,” I commented as we walked towards the kitchen. She shoved the cart into a nearby closet and left it there, along with most of the maid’s uniform.

“It’s my job,” she argued, “And stop being whiny about everything.”

“But I don’t wannnaaa-ah~!” I whined, “What do I get in return if I stop?”

“I don’t know, I’ll scratch you behind your ear or something,” she kidded.

“Huh? Does that even work with ponies?” I asked confusedly. She raised an eyebrow and addressed me quizzically.

“Well, let’s try it,” she said with a snicker as we entered the kitchen. Her horn began to glow and I felt a touch on my head for a moment, but I leaned away from her.

“You won’t hurt me, will you?” I asked warily, walking over to the oversized food pantry before standing still again.

“Oh, come on. Don’t be such a baby,” she urged. Not one to back down (half of the time), I closed my eyes and awaited the touch.

“Don’t think you can-… Oh God, yessss…” I stopped mid-sentence and melted onto the floor, one of my hind legs kicking of its own volition. It probably wasn’t the most flattering image, but if it had looked as good as it felt, I would have appeared no less than pulchritudinous.

“Whoa… I didn’t expect that to work,” she said a bit apprehensively as her magic dissipated. I heard two or more ponies enter from a different door, but that wasn’t the first thing on my mind at the moment. The next thing I noticed was that my wings were at full extent.

I suddenly felt extremely violated, looking up at her in a daze from the floor. I followed her gaze roughly to whoever just walked in. I staggered to my hooves and looked over as well. Luna, Frostwind, and Silvermane walked over to us as they conversed with each other. They slowed to a stop a few feet away from us, apparently staring at me.

“Well, what’s going on here?” Frostwind asked with a smirk. The other two mares remained speechless.

“Huh?” I said confusedly, “What are you talking about?”

He snickered for a moment but quickly recomposed himself. About then, I realized they were all looking up, so I followed their gaze to my flared up wings. With my wings being as big as they were, my wingboner wasn’t exactly inconspicuous.

Oh shit…

I then looked over at Orange Star. She had a very embarrassed look, and her blush was so deep that it showed clearly on her orange coat.

“… I’m afraid I don’t know enough about pony anatomy to know what this means, so please don’t make fun of me for it,” I pleaded fretfully.

Luna and Frostwind couldn’t help it any longer and began laughing, stifling it as much as possible, but failing miserably. I turned to Star and suddenly made a connection.

“Uh… I guess this kinda happened when you rubbed my-…”

“Stop,” she implored, interrupting me, “Just stop.”

“This… is too great…” Frostwind gasped in between bursts of laughter. Luna laughed just as hard, but said nothing. Silvermane, on the other hand, managed to remain completely composed, seemingly wanting to stay out of this affair.

“We should probably leave, you two,” Silvermane suggested. They slowly followed her out and eventually it was just me and Star again.

I looked at her and grinned apologetically. She just took a deep breath before slowly exhaling.

“This isn’t your fault…” she said slowly, mostly trying to calm herself down.

“Yeah, it was that magical ear orgasm thing you did,” I added, probably not helping much.

“You seriously don’t know what that means, though?” she asked curiously, pointing up to my wings. I shook my head in response. She leaned forward and whispered the reason into my ear. I’m sure it should have been pretty obvious at this point, but apparently I was stupid.

“Oh… so that’s why they were…”

“…Yeah…” she replied.

“So…” I began awkwardly before becoming silent again.

“…What?”

“…You think you’ll ever, umm… do it again?”

“…”

“…”

“Maybe later, only if I want to force you into something and need a bargaining chip,” she decided.

“Yay,” I deadpanned, preparing to change the subject, “Now let’s eat something. I’m already malnourished because of the lack of meat you have here,” I said exasperatedly, completely ignoring any expression of repulsion Orange Star made.

“You really eat meat?” she asked wearily, “I mean, I heard some rumors… and I guess I noticed your sharp teeth, but I would have never guessed they were true.”

“What, are you worried? I probably won’t eat you, if that makes you feel any better,” I chuckled, looking through the pantry for something that was least like a vegetable. My wings had mostly returned to their original places by then.

“What kinds of animals do you… eat?” she asked hesitantly, obviously curious on the matter.

“Well, uh… cows, pig, chicken, fish, unicorn. The usual,” I listed off-handedly. I glanced up for a fraction of a second just to see her horrified expression.

“Wh-what was that l-last one?” she asked shakily.

“Chicken.”

“No, after that,” she clarified apprehensively.

“Fish?”

“Ugh… never mind. Actually, I’ll make something for us, just go wait out there,” she said almost pleadingly.

“No, it’s fine. I can just-…” I began smugly, waiting for her to cut me off.

“No,” she interrupted adamantly, “I mean, I’ve got it taken care of. I’ll make something we’ll both like… without meat.”

“Well, if you insist,” I replied, grinning a bit to myself as I walked out of the pantry and sat down at a counter near the stove.

And that’s how I got her to make me dinner.

She eventually came up with some pasta similar to spaghetti, which was alright; although, there was no meat of course. I’d definitely gotten skinnier since I got here, and I wasn’t too thick to start out with, so I really needed to consult Celestia about it as soon as possible.

Speaking of Celestia, I went to see what she was up to after my meal. Mostly out of boredom, but also because I needed to discuss some dietary issues. Anyways, Star tagged along as well, also due to boredom.

When we arrived in the throne room however, my anxiousness suddenly rose when I spotted Silvermane, Luna, and Frostwind on the opposite side of the throne room casually conversing with Celestia. They soon noticed our presence as we approached.

“There’s the big guy,” Frostwind said playfully, messing up my mane a bit. I was too socially awkward to know how to respond to that, so I remained silent.

“Shut up, Frost,” Star said ungratefully, “It’s not what it looked like.”

Celestia looked confused, so I assume no rumors were spread. Hopefully Frostwind wouldn’t screw that up, but I suppose that was wishful thinking.

“What exactly did it look like, Star?” he asked slyly.

“Ugh, you are annoying and immature,” she huffed, looking away to the side.

“It looked to me like you two were doing something fun before we interrupted you. It showed on Snow,” he reminded her. Thanks for that, Frost. Celestia raised an eyebrow in my direction.

“What exactly happened, Orange Star?” Celestia asked her, catching her off guard.

“Your highness,” she immediately replied, “You mean what Frostwind is talking about?”

Celestia nodded her head in response.

“W-well, if you must know…” she began awkwardly.

This was going to be one of the more stupid things to happen this week.

“Go on,” Frostwind urged. Star shot him a glare before continuing.

“I, uh… scratched him behind his ear,” she spat out awkwardly. Celestia sighed, obviously skeptical about the statement.

“Yeah, right,” Frostwind said.

“Frostwind, remain quiet,” Celestia told him.

“Y-yes, Princess,” he replied immediately, shrinking back a little. I let out a little snort at his sudden submission.

“I swear that’s what happened,” Star went on, “You can try it for yourself. Just scratch him behind the ear with your magic.”

“What!? No, that was weird! I mean, it felt good, but…” I looked down and contemplated what to say before Luna interrupted me.

“That’s ridiculous. I’m going to have to see this for myself,” she said slightly impatiently, her horn suddenly flaring up.

“No, w-wait, I-… Nyaahhh ~!”

Damn it! Damn it all! Not again!

It was basically a repeat of last time, but Luna didn’t stop immediately, so my back arced involuntarily and I let out an unwanted, high-pitched moan. I fell down on my side and squeezed my eyes shut. I am so glad they don’t have cameras in Equestria or this moment would have been immortalized in film. My leg kicked like last time, and my wings shot up almost right away. Luna let out a surprised yelp and stopped.

It was official: I had been raped. It still counts as rape, whether I liked it or not.

I slowly opened my eyes, panting heavily, and eyed Luna with as much hate as I could muster at the moment.

“I… hate you all…” I said in between breaths. I very shakily stood to my hooves and stabilized myself, “I’m going to leave… while I probably still… have my virginity,” I announced quietly, slowly making my way out of the room.

I used the smaller door located behind the throne, which in hindsight was a bad idea. My wings hit the top of the door, which hurt very badly. I kid you not; wings are the most sensitive appendage I’ve ever had.

My wings were even more sensitive in this state of arousal (I feel disgusting saying that), so I let out a yelp of pain and backed up a little. I crawled through the door so that my wings barely brushed the top while I went through. I made it through and walked leisurely and shamelessly all the way back to Celestia’s room, which I proceeded to lock myself inside of.

I was lazy, I hung out with a maid, I got teased about my wings, and last but not least, I got ear raped by Princess Luna. Not a bad way to spend my birthday, I suppose.

“Come on, let me in Snow,” Celestia said after she tried the locked door. I lifted my head from the cushion and looked over to the door.

“No, your sister raped me,” I replied calmly.

“I did not rape anypony!” a different voice came instantly.

“You brought her!?” I asked, surprised.

“We were just talking for a bit before she has to take the night shift,” she replied uninterestedly, “Now let me in.”

“Fine,” I replied, slowly getting up and cantering over to the door, “Only because you asked so nicely,” I added as I unlocked the door and opened it for her. Celestia stepped in and Luna had apparently left. I shut the door behind her and turned around again.

“I actually need to talk to you about something, Celestia,” I began before she had a chance to say anything. For the first time in a while, Celestia looked genuinely curious.

“Yes, what is it?”

“Well, uhh… you’ve probably noticed that I don’t eat much,” I said awkwardly, “I was just wondering if… there was a way to…” I tried desperately to find the right words.

“Go ahead, Snow,” she urged.

“Well, I, uhh…”

“Spit it out,” she said mirthfully, finding humor in my stammering.

“I want to eat chicken, and cows, and pigs!” I suddenly barked, “Hay, I could eat a pony at this point!”

Celestia recoiled a bit, but then sighed and turned around to walk in the other direction. She circled once before laying down on one of the purple cushions. I stood there awkwardly for a moment after my unexpected outburst, pursing my lips together.

“Come, sit,” she said tiredly, motioning for me to lay beside her. I quickly complied, cantering over next to her and laying down.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-…”  I began before Celestia cut me off.

“No, it’s perfectly fine. I think… I think I understand,” she started, “I thought this might happen and… we might be able to do something about it.”

“R-really?” My face lit up expectantly, but I soon settled down and looked back down.

 “No promises, though,” she reminded me quickly, “And if you eat one of my little ponies, you’re going to the moon. No trial. But we do coordinate some shipments of edible meats for a few of the griffon and hippogriff residents of Equestria. It shouldn’t be too much trouble… getting one here every once in a while without the public eye noticing…” She trailed off as if she was thinking it over, but I didn’t give her a chance to change her mind.

“Oh my God, you’re awesome!” I exclaimed, tackle hugging her and rolling off of the cushion. She snorted mirthfully before recomposing herself.

“I try,” she said, standing up and stepping over me to get to her bedside.

“You have the early shift tomorrow, then?” I asked as she removed her Jewelry, as per usual.

“Yep. It’ll be a little slow tomorrow morning though, so I’ll have time to look into the shipments then,” she sighed, seemingly exhausted, "Anyways, the Harmony Magnet should be finished very soon, so try to stay well rested for when we have to use it,” she advised, turning the light switch with her magic.

“‘Night, princess.”

“Goodnight, Snow.”