Daring Do and the Straining Constipation.
There comes a time when you look inside yourself, at the moments leading up to where you are at this time, and have to ask yourself: Was it worth it? Was accepting that dinner party a good idea? Was reaching for those extra nachos the best move? Was it smart to ignore your rumbling stomach at the party and say "No, It's fine, I'll just have some ginger ale when I get home"? Were these smart choices? If only you knew... If only you knew before it all came crashing down on you like a fallen temple.
Daring Do, adventurer extraordinaire and Darer of the Do-Not, clenched within the enclosed sanctuary she had hurried to. She wished she had only the time and strength within her to burst out from this entrapment, soar across the sky to the north, and return to her own home. But, what strength she had was used pressing and straining every fiber of her being. The outside world relentlessly beat against her, forcing the adventurer to block everything out and focus on what may be her final task.
Tap-Tap-Tap went the wood door that divided Daring Do from the rest of the world, but she bared to ignore it. Even with mixed voices awkwardly came through from the other side, Daring only blocked it out harder. "Mrs. Yearling?" Daring's face was already burning with strain, but it only got worse when embarrassment and shame entered the mix with the voices calling to her, "Do you... Do you need some... Thing?"
Help... Something... Both of these things would have been a great load off of her. But, this was a load she couldn't pass on to anyone else. Sweating and sweltering from her own consent strain, Daring Do steadied her voice and spoke as clearly as she could through the wooden divide. "No! No. I am perfectly -uuugh..." A few swift lashes of her hoof into her groaning stomach granted a momentary reprise from the sound, "Perfectly fine. Just... Just go about your business. I'll be out in a minute."
Not a lie, but certainly not the truth either. Daring Do silently reflected upon the choices she made that wound her up trapped, alone, and baring one heavy load. It was such a simple moment, innocent in design and not a speck of mischief to be found in it. She couldn't have known how wrong everything would have gone when she first opened her door to that pinkie pony.
"Goooooooood morning Mrs. Do-Yearling-Lady-Hat! Rainbow and Twilight are REALLY big fans of yours, but you probably already know that. So! I thought 'wouldn't it be just the greatest if we had a party for Yearling and her fans so they can mingle and chat and get to know each other?'. And then I thought that was a GREAT idea! That's why I came ALL the way to your rundown house in the middle of nowhere to ask you if you'd be the guest of honor for my Daring Do party. After all, you can't have a Daring Do party without Daring Do, right? Come on! That's just NUTS!"
A life of near solitude and secrets all compromised by die-hard fans... Maybe it was for the best, she thought. Maybe a little time in the limelight would do some good. Maybe indulging in a little party all for her could do her some good. Maybe that's why she said yes and went to this 'Ponyville'. However, that was her first grave mistake. That mistake alone didn't wind her up where she is now. No... It was another more previous mistake. One that she would never forget...
"Mmmm! Oh! What are these? They're just -mmm!- spectacular!"
"They're called 'nachos', A.K. Yearling. I mean, Mrs. Yearling! I mean-- Daring Do. I mean--!"
"Whatever you want to call me is fine. Don't you sweat it for a second. Now, tell me more about these 'nachos'."
In all her life of tasting forbidden fruits, exotic delights, and long lost delicacies, never in all her adventures did Daring Do ever taste something as perfect as "The Nacho". It was divine! It was more beautiful than all the treasure in all the world she had seen. And yet... It was why she was where she is now. Squatting, straining, sweltering, and swearing. Her mind drifted back to the countless boulders she had escaped in all her life; none of which felt as heavy as what she was going through now... Nor, would they ever compare after.
"Mrs. Yearling, I can call the town doctor if you want?" The voice of a massive fan of her exploits was now offering to call a doctor... Her reputation as a "daring doer" was over.
No, she thought. She wouldn't be defeated, humiliated, or shamed so easily. Her body hardened, pulling on all her reserves. Pulling the Sapphire stone? Child's play. Pilfering the Griffon's Goblet? In her sleep! Traversing the Terrifying Tower? Backwards! Snatching the Ring of Destiny? Not a problem! She could do this like she could do anything!
The ponies outside cringed and staggered back from the wooden door dividing them from Daring Do herself. Anguish fueled cries sounded from the sanctuary Daring Do help herself up in. Stomach turning, head turning, eye popping cries and wails of profanity and mingled relief one after the other without reprieve. Minutes, perhaps hours later, everything fell silent like a calm after the storm. The six mares outside the door exchanged awkward, awe filled looks to one another before a sound sent them back to looking at the door. The sound of a faucet turning and running water made them all hold their collective breath before they saw the bathroom door open, revealing Daring Do standing proudly before them all.
With a subtle but effective huff followed by a proud strut pass the collective of six mares, Daring Do smiled in triumph. "Another adventure cleared..." She said, trailing a roll of toilet-paper against her back hoof.
Watching the adventuring mare go through the lot of them, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but have an exploding smile cross her face. "...She is so awesome."
