Random Writing

Lightning Weaponry (Stranded Pilot BS)

I've been speaking to another user, Wing Zero 032, about weaponry for Mavericks Eurofighter Lightning. He came up with this entire list of weapons, which is cool enough, but English isn't his native language either, which makes it even more impressive. Everything below is exactly what he wrote, completely unedited.

DON'T WORRY: I won't be this technical in the story, and in fact probably won't be able to use a number of the ideas, and a number more that I can I'll have to edit a tad, but he's still been cool enough to do all this. Also, which weapon do you think is the coolest?

Weaponry:

Thunder Stunner Missile/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE DERPER): as its nickname implies, this short Range, multi-purpose, high mobility heat seeker missile, replacement of AIM-9X Sidewinder, is ideal to stun individual targets in mid-air or on the ground, its improved mobility will make it be able to chase its target and stay always on its six o clock until it hit it, its magic based warhead will make lose every sense of direction(think of it like flying or playing a videogame with inverted axis controls and button configuration random changed at sudden), motor coordination voluntary response, forcing it to land and fall unconscious for an amount of 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target fly and behave even worse than Derpy.

Lightning Chaos Missile/Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE JOKER or DISCORD'S ARROW): As its nickname implies, this short Range, multi-purpose, high mobility heat seeker missile, replacement of AIM-9X Sidewinder, is ideal to stun and incapacitate individual targets in mid-air or on the ground, its improved mobility will make it be able to chase its target and stay always on its six o clock until it hit it, its Poison Joke Chemical based warhead will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time.

(Only 2 can be Equipped of Thunder Stunners or Lightning Chaos Missiles, one per wingtip)

Spider Web Missile/Solid Type Weaponry (AKA: THE SPAM NETTER): This Medium Range, Air-to-Air, high mobility laser guided missile, replacement of the Sparrows, is ideal to Capture individual or multiple targets in mid-air at once.

This missile is designed to explode before the target when head-on or over the target at chase so the net in the warhead spreads enough cover its objective, and close itself with advanced magic spells that reinforce and make the net close itself ensures that the target will be restrained.

Sky Net Missile/Solid Type Weaponry (AKA: THE PONY CATCHER): This Long Range, Air-to-Air, high mobility laser guided missile, replacement of the Sparrows, is ideal to Capture individual or multiple targets in mid-air at once, its improved mobility will make it be able to chase its target and stay always on its six o clock until it hit it, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than Spider Web missile.

This missile is designed to explode before the target when head-on or over the target at chase so the net in the warhead spreads enough cover its objective, and close itself with powerful magic spells that reinforce and make the net close itself ensures that no matter how physically strong is the target, it will be restrained.

(NOTE: Both, the Spider Web and Sky Net Missiles can be equipped up to eight missiles in the typhoon with four in the body and four in the wings if is decide to not carry any other weapons aside from the Thunder Stunner or Lightning Chaos Missiles at the tip of the wings)

Lancer Missile/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE PARALYSZING SPEAR): as its nickname implies, this Extreme-Long Range, Air-to-Air, high mobility Radar-Guided missile, replacement of SPARROW Missile, is ideal to Paralyze individual targets in mid-air at extreme long ranges, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than any other missile, its improved mobility will make it be able to chase its target and stay always on its six o clock until it hit it (As long as the target remains inside of the Targeting Circle in the HUD), its magic based warhead will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of one hour 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target droop from the sky like a rock.

Thanks to its magic Nature this missile can be use to destroy permanently any mechanical, electronic and magic system if the target is any other airship while paralyzing each and every one of its occupants.

(NOTE: Only two can be equipped, one per wing)

MECM Pods: Magic and Electronic Counter Measure Pod/Magic-Electronic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE BAN-JAMMER): Just like the standard ECM Pod: this system was designed for Electronic Warfare, just with a little twist: it can work against magical weaponry, communications systems, targeting systems, Radars, detection and tracking spells just as well as the original ECM Pod system, its range can cover the distance of all ponyville from beginning to end just in affecting radius.

As mentioned before this system will not just be able to mess with magic weaponry and battle magicians themselves and mess up any changeling transformation and mind control spells within its affectation radius, it will create false decoys in the radar, targeting systems and detection spells and also will be able create illusionary decoys, blur the enemy’s vision (or even black-out if it gets too close) as soon as it gets inside of the affectation radius of the MECM pods, but also will deviate each and every magic attack directed to the aircraft as long as the system is activated, practically creating a virtually invisible protective sphere all around the aircraft of the range previously mentioned.

(NOTE: this system occupy the lower part of the body, right behind the Battery service Panel or on one weapon slot in each wing if equipped with the Angry Bird Bomber Dispenser, and Works better with the Discord Magic/Electronic Warfare System)

Vulcan Machinegun Pod/Solid Type Weaponry (AKA: OVERKILL BULLET BARRAGE) Identical to the Vulcan Machinegun this external pod with ammunition will provide additional firepower when using the aircraft machinegun in combat.

(NOTE: Only four can be equipped, two per wing if used all of them at once without any other weaponry aside of the short range missiles)

Rocket Pods/Magic-Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE INSTANT PARTY): These Rocket Pods are of 30 rockets each one are equipped with rockets of either Magic or chemical based warhead and set at random, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each missile will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time, while its magic based content of the other missiles will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of two hours 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target stop dead on its tracks.

(NOTE: Only twelve can be equipped, six per wing)

Anchor Missile/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE PARALYSZING HARPON): as its nickname implies, this Extreme-Long Range, Air-to-Ground/Ship, high mobility Cruiser missile, Just as the Lancer missile, this is Air to Ship or even Air to Ground missile is ideal to Paralyze either individual targets in mid-air at extreme long ranges, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than any other missile, its improved mobility will make it be able to head to its target and hit it with extreme precision thanks to its guidance systems, its magic based warhead will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of one hour 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target stops dead on its tracks.

Thanks to its magic Nature this missile can be use to destroy permanently any mechanical, electronic and magic system if the target is any other ship, or ground vehicles while paralyzing each and every one of its occupants.

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon partially does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ADVICED.

(NOTE: Only four can be equipped, two per wing)

Stoner Missile/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE SPAMMING STUNNER): This Long Range, Air-to-Air, high mobility laser guided missile, is ideal to Stun individual or multiple targets in the ground at once, its improved mobility will make it be able to hit its target from above at highly closed angles, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than Spider Web missile.

This missile is designed to explode over the target so the stunning spell in the warhead spreads enough cover its objective and still keeping spreading all around the surrounding area of the target, its magic based warhead will make lose every sense of direction(think of it like moving or playing a videogame with inverted axis controls and button configuration random changed at sudden), motor coordination voluntary response, even it will produce nausea and loose of balance, forcing it to land and/or fall unconscious for an amount of 2 hours 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target fly and behave even worse than Derpy.

(NOTE: Just like the Spider Web and Sky Net Missiles, those also can be equipped up to eight missiles in the typhoon with four in the body and four in the wings if is decide to not carry any other weapons aside from the Thunder Stunner or Lightning Chaos Missiles at the tip of the wings)

Swarm Bomber Dispenser Missile/Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE GUIDED CLUSTERFU-UN): as its nickname implies, this Long Range, Air-to-Ground, high mobility Cruiser missile, Just as the Lancer missile, this is Air to Ground missile is ideal to wreak havoc in the battle zone at long ranges, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than any other missile, its improved mobility will make it be able to head to its target and hit it with extreme precision thanks to its guidance systems, and release its payload of 30 unguided bombs small size, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each bomb will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time.

(NOTE: Only four can be equipped, two per wing)

Beehive Cluster Bomb/Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE WTF JOKE): This Unguided free falling bomb large size is perfect to wreak havoc in the battle zone depending of the height and speed the aircraft release the bomb, three seconds later , this will release a payload of 90 unguided bombs small size, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each bomb will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time.

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ENFORCED.

(NOTE: Only four can be equipped, two per wing)

Angry Bird Bomber Dispenser/Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE SH-T STORM): Bomber Dispenser Unit is Great for Carpet Bombing strikes with a range that may vary depending of the height and speed the aircraft release the bomb, three seconds later , this will release a payload of 130 unguided bombs small size, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each bomb will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time.

(NOTE: this system occupy the entire lower part of the body, covering the entire Battery service Panel)

Shock Unguided Bomb/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE MUFFIN STRIKE): This Unguided free falling bomb standard size is perfect to Paralyze the enemy on a wide spread area in the battle zone as soon as it makes impact to the ground, its magic based content with a five hundred meters of affectation diameter will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of two hours 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target stops dead on its tracks.

Thanks to its magic Nature this bomb can be use to destroy permanently any mechanical, electronic and magic system if the target is any other ship, or ground vehicles while paralyzing each and every one of its occupants.

(NOTE: Only eight can be equipped, two per wing and four in the body)

Awe Unguided Bomb/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE BAKED BAD): Just like the Shock Unguided Bomb, this Unguided free falling bomb Large size is perfect to Paralyze the enemy on a wide spread area in the battle zone as soon as it makes impact to the ground, its magic based content with a five hundred meters of affectation radius will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of five entire hours of time, in other words it will make the target stop dead on its tracks.

(NOTE: Only eight can be equipped, two per wing and four in the body)

Surprise Guided Bomb/Magic-Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE MOUNTAIN WRECKER): This laser-guided Anti-Bunker, free falling bomb standard size was designed to cause mayhem and to Paralyze the enemy on a wide spread area after penetrating any kind of fortification in the battle zone as soon as it makes impact to the ground, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each bomb will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time, while its magic based content will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of two hours 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target stop dead on its tracks.

Its improved high mobility and guidance systems will allow this bomb direct itself where the laser points into it, no matter how well protected or deep buried is the enemy stronghold, it will pass through it and explode inside of the fortification releasing its contents to the enemy.

(NOTE: Only eight can be equipped, two per wing and four in the body)

Nightmare Fuel Air Explosive Bomb(NFAEB)/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: CUPCAKE): Similar to the Shock & Awe Unguided Bombs, this Unguided free falling bomb Extra-Large size is perfect For Psychological Warfare, it will affect the enemy on a ridiculously wide spread area in the battle zone as soon as it makes impact to the ground in an incredibly fast rate of spreading speed, its magic based content with an entire kilometer of affectation radius will make the Target (AKA: the unlucky helpless victim) suffer from disturbing hallucinations about their objectives and opponents, breaking completely their will to fight and either surrender or retreat.

It will not just be limiting itself with hallucinations only, its effects will also create nightmares even of worse level than the “daydreams” produced by the bomb forcing the target to awake and be deprived of sleep, with sleep deprivation and the fatigued mind and body the target will be a whole hell lot easier to take-down.

To cure the effects of the Nightmare Fuel Bomb, the subject must be treated immediately with magic dream therapy and the “Sweet Dreams” magic spell (Psychological Therapy is highly recommended in the treatment).

This bomb was developed in collaboration of Her Royal Highness Princess Luna of Equestria, named by Rainbow Dash and nicknamed by Pinkamena Diane Pie (when she somehow had a straight mane style that day…).