Random Writing

by Phantom Seeker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random
Length: 7399

A series of short, medium or long scenes that aren't full stories and I think are funny.

This is where I put everything that I write (and am willing to show) that doesn't fit in my main stories. That can be anything from random scenes/scenarios are I thought were funny/touching enough to post, to ideas (maybe teasers) for one of my main stories that will appear 5+ chapters later on, to back story if its requested. RS is Random Scene, DS is Deleted Scene, BS is Back Story

WARNING: UTTERLY RANDOM, MAY CONTAIN TRACE LEVELS OF D'AAWWWWW, N/A AMOUNTS OF LOL, POSSIBLE SAD

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-05 22:20:50 UTC

Mavericks Scar (Stranded Pilot BS)

This scene is back story and does not, nor will appear in the main story. The setting is made up.

Maverick sat back on the couch in the library. It was dark outside, about 9pm. The weather team had scheduled a large storm, and lightning was flashing outside, rain lashing against the windows. Soft candle light lit the room and Twilight walked in, holding another in an ivory candle holder with her mouth. She set it down on a table in front of Maverick, before settling onto an armchair opposite him.

"So are you going to tell me how you got that scar on your back?" Twilight asked.

Maverick nodded. He had agreed to tell her sometime, and being stuck inside during a storm seemed as good a time as any. He rubbed the two-foot-long scar going diagonally across his back, before starting.

1 Year 8 months before the events of February 2nd, 2011

Location: CENSORED, Middle East

Objective: CENSORED

Operatives: CENSORED Howards, CENSORED House

Maverick was flying a Harrier Jump Jet in an undisclosed area of the Middle East, closing in on a city adorned with several pillars of smoke.

"Base-Plate, this is Whiskey Flight, 14 miles from target." Maverick spoke into the mask attached to his helmet.

"Roger Whiskey Flight, continue to target. Base-Plate out."

"Roger, Whiskey out." Maverick turned off the microphone in his helmet. "Another day in the office, huh Stackhouse?" he asked his navigator.

"Not sure why you count these runs as another day in the office, but yeah, I'd say so. 12 miles to target, no contacts. Seems quiet." Stackhouse replied in a soft Scottish accent.

"Too quiet?" Maverick asked, adding a dun dun dunnnn. A moment later they crossed the city limits.

"Ok, friendly IR beacon just showed up on the scope." Stackhouse said.

"Roger, starting attack run." Maverick slowed the throttle and lowered the crafts altitude. He and Stackhouse were now 30 feet from the roofs of the tallest buildings, doing 200 kph over the street to get a clear shot.

"Know what we need? Ride of the Valkyries." Stackhouse said.

Maverick laughed, but quickly became serious. "Any targets?"

Stackhouse spoke to the commander of the ground team. "Roger that, laze the target." Stackhouse turned off the mic. "He says they've got a T-90, 250 feet from their position, their lazing it now. We've got the all clear to take it out."

"Ok, preparing to fire." a few seconds later, the lock on beep filled the cockpit.

"Whiskey Flight, Fox 2." Maverick pulled the trigger and a streak of fire shot ahead of them, down into the streets. It shot over the heads of the ground team and hit the tank a second later, throwing fire and smoke into the sky and surrounding street.

"Good effect on target. God bless superior firepower." Maverick said.

"Now you sound American." Stackhouse said before contacting the ground team. "Can you confirm good effect on target? ...Roger, we're coming around for another run." Stackhouse turned off the mic as Maverick banked the Harrier hard to the right and pulled up, doing a U-turn.

"Roger Base-Plate, hearing you loud and clear." Stackhouse was getting another transmission. "Roger, Whiskey Flight out. Ok, the evac choppers nearly here, so we're gonna make one more run before going VTOL at the LZ to cover the ground team."

"Roger." Maverick leveled out. "It's been too long since we got to use the turret."

"Too right."

Maverick pointed the nose of the fighter into the street, a hundred feet up and 500 feet away, closing fast. He released a barrage of Hellfire missiles into a number building facades across the street from the ground team. He pulled up before he went below building height and flew through the smoke cloud.

"I'm sure the insurance will cover that." Maverick said, making Stackhouse laugh. Maverick banked again and eventually reached the LZ, slowed the jet, switched to VTOL mode and hovered over a small park. The wind sent loose papers, garbage, palm fronds and sand into the air. The park was a wreck from the fighting in the city, and the few palm trees in the park were mostly either knocked down or shot to pieces. A minute later the ground team came in through the main gate, chased by streaks of gunfire and looked to be 2 men short, a third being supported by the commander. The three remaining soldiers took up defensive positions and returned fire.

Maverick heard Stackhouse cracking his knuckles. "Let's get to work." he said.

Maverick pushed the joystick forward gently, moving the Harrier above the soldiers.

"Handing over control." Maverick said.

"Roger." Stackhouse acknowledged, before grasping the joystick in front of him and turning his attention to the thermal image on his screen. He began firing the turret at anything that didn't have a flashing IR beacon, and soon enough the attackers were backing off under heavy casualties. Maverick saw a contact come onto the scope, and recognized the evac chopper. The ground team turned and ran through the park towards an area of open land.

The attackers weren't giving up yet.

Angry and deprived of their prey, they turned on the Maverick and Stackhouse, small arms fire flying around the fighter.

"This is getting hairy, is the ground team safe?" Stackhouse asked.

"The choppers touching down now. Another 10 seconds." Maverick replied.

"We may not have that long." as soon as Stackhouse said it, he saw a door get kicked out on the roof of a building and several of the attackers ran out, firing on the cockpit canopy.

"Ok, hand me control!" Maverick shouted to Stackhouse.

"Handing over control." Stackhouse said back.

Trust Stackhouse to be calm in a situation like this.

Maverick took over control of the jet and power of the thruster's keeping the jet in the air, but not before another menace appeared. While they had been distracted by the roof top bad guys, two more had appeared in the street with RPG launchers. As one crouched to fire, the other fired a wild shot. Maverick threw the stick to the right to dodge, and did so successfully, but was off kilter. By the time he leveled out, the other had fired. Maverick switched to level flight, but before they went anywhere the orange streak flew up and hit the rudder, blowing the tail clean off. Warning beeps filled the cockpit and Maverick felt the jet begin to fall.

"Jesus!" Stackhouse screamed, finally losing his cool. Fire and sparks were gushing out of where the tail should be, like some sort of destructive fountain.

The jet was pivoting left and right, out of control. Maverick had switched back to VTOL the second they got hit, but the half a second spent in level flight had given them speed and cost them height. Trying to turn the jet around, the Harrier turned sharply to the right before crashing sideways into the top floor of a building by the parks edge. The scream of twisting metal and shattering brick filled the air, and the downed Harrier continued crashing through the building, the final wall barely stopping it. Maverick felt a sharp, numb pain in his back.

Maverick sat there for a few seconds, still very much conscious and riding an adrenaline rush like a tsunami. He shouted back at Stackhouse. "You ok Stackhouse?" he got no reply. That wasn't good. He tried to turn but screamed as the worst pain he had ever felt coursed through his back. He stopped moving and sat still, waiting for the hostiles to move in and finish him off.

A minute later he heard footsteps, and a figure appeared over him.

"Nice wreck son. Lets get you outta here." Maverick felt himself being pulled forward, out of the cockpit, by the commander of the ground force and another soldier. He shouted in pain as they started him dragging him to the stairs.

"What about Stackhouse?" Maverick shouted as the gunfire started once again, the other 2 soldiers standing by the demolished wall firing down into the park.

"Dead." the commander shouted simply. They pulled him up the stairs onto the roof, ordering the others to follow. They boarded the open ramp of the Chinook, and Maverick felt himself losing consciousness in his seat. The pain was intense.

"Jesus." was all Maverick could say. He heard the pilot talking into the radio.

"Base-Plate, Evac 1 is in the air, downed Whiskey Flight pilot on board, navigator dead. We are Oscar Mike to you now, Base-Plate..."

Back to Twilights library

"...when I got back, the cut was worse, and needed 20 stitches. As you can see, it never healed very well."

"Wow." was all Twilight could say.

A/N: The reason this won't be part of the main story is that 1: It scarcely has any ponies and 2: too long

Dash Impossible (RS)

Dash Impossible

It was midnight, pitch black and Dash was flying near Mach 1 with her wingponies. She had to shout to make herself heard over the roar of the wind. She and her wingponies were wearing black.

"Remember the plan! We get in, get the VIP, then get out!"

The two wingponies nodded.

"Ok, follow my lead!" Dash turned sharply down, making sure not to break the sound barrier. She and the wingponies flared their wings and braked sharply, coming to a halt 10 feet above the roof of the 20 story Canterlot skyscraper.

"Remember, silence." Dash pulled on the Cloud Step boots, so named because the outside of which was lined with condensed clouds, meaning the boots made no noise. The wingponies did the same.

Cue Mission Impossible Music

Dash nodded to the first wingpony, a stallion, who pulled out a blowtorch and set about removing a grille from a ventilation duct. Gently laying it on the ground, they made their way down the diagonal air vent towards the buildings office wing.

"Uh, now I know what a TV dinner feels like." Dash said, crawling through the vent. She held up a hoof, indicating to the others to stop. She looked down through the grille into a bathroom.

"Ok, now it gets real." she lifted the vent up and slid it forward before dropping into the bathroom. Behind her, the second wingpony, a mare, dropped down. Dash turned to the stallion still in the vent.

"You go through the vents, make your way to the LZ." she whispered. The stallion nodded and slid the grille back into place before continuing.

Dash walked forward out the bathroom, and raised a wing mounted tazer. She and the wingpony made their way through the halls, occasionally ducking through doorways when there were guards coming. Eventually they reached the room they were looking for. They looked through the tinted window and saw three ponies around the VIP, who was tied up in a ball on the ground.

"Ok, I take the two on the right, you take the third one." Dash said.

The wingpony nodded, and Dash kicked down the door. She turned and stopped for a second, uttering a single word filled with surprise.

"Twilight."

The purple pony turned in time to see Dash fire the tazer, 2 small wires firing out and hitting the stallion to Twilight's right, making him convulse and drop to the ground. The wingpony took out the other bodyguard with a quick buck to the head and Twilight was left looking shocked at the new arrivals. The VIP muffled something through a gag, wondering what was going on.

"Damn it!" Twilight shouted, before a bright light filled the room. Dash realised what she was doing and jumped forward, but too late. Twilight disappeared in a ball of light.

"Aw hay, we've got to hurry." Dash moved forward and threw the VIP over her back. As soon as she did so, an alarm started shrieking and flashing red lights lit up along the hallway. "Hurry!" Dash shouted to the wingpony. They ran down the corridor towards the bathroom they had entered, but were cut off by stallions in black suits. They ran to the stair access and made their way up to the roof, unable to fly in the cramped stairwell.

Dash broke onto the roof and saw the final wingpony at the airship landing spot. He had set up a complicated harness and was ready to fly. Dash laid the VIP on the stretcher attached to 2 harnesses and told the final wingpony to get the other harness on.

A moment later and they were ready, the VIP hanging on the stretcher between the wingponies. Dash flared her wings ready to fly, but as she jumped into the air to make a getaway she felt a burst of energy hit her wings. The faltered and she fell to the ground. The wingponies looked at her worriedly.

"GO!" Dash shouted to them, standing up again. As they flew over the side of the building Dash turned and saw Twilight, her horn lit up. A dozen bodyguards stood around her in a semicircle, stoping Dash from running. She backed up until she felt her back leg go over the edge and stopped.

"It ends here Dash." Twilight said menacingly.

"Yep." Dash said. She did a backflip backwards, off the building. Twilight gaped. Her magic had paralyzed Dash's wings, she couldn't fly. Twilight ran over and looked down. Dash was spiraling towards the floor, going faster and faster. Then from nowhere came 2 blue blurs and Dash was plucked out of the air. Twilight used her magic to see closer, and saw Dash on the backs of her 2 wingponies, next to the VIP. Dash saw her looking and stuck her tonge out, mouthing Not this time. Twilight shouted in frustration.

Battle Scene (RS)

This is an idea I've been thinking about for a fairly long time, and may implement in my upcoming story, but here it is now. Oh, and you have to listen to this song at the same time for any effect.

The pegasus pony sat up at the sound of another magic explosion. He was sitting in the trench as the Zebra Division advanced menacingly. His sword was attached to his wing, as were two dozen more pegasus ponies swords. There was also half a dozen unicorns holding their swords with telekinesis. They couldn't fight this menace. The Zebra's had magic and blades, and all they had were swords.

It was hopeless. They were all doomed. Their fate sealed. The regiment commander looked over their scared faces. He had to do something. He stood up, above the other ponies. They looked up at him.

"There ain't no grave, can hold my, body down." he muttered, just loud enough for the closest ponies to hear him. Another unicorn recognized the song and joined in.

"There ain't no grave, can hold my, body down." they sang together quietly, over the noise of the advancing zebra's. The commander started stamping in time. Another two ponies joined in the stamping, and most of the others joined in the song.

"When I hear that trumpet sound, I'm gonna rise right out of the ground. Ain't no grave, can hold my, body down." the commander looked over the trench side. "Well look way down the river, n' whaddya think I see, I see a band of angels, and they're coming after me."

By now all the ponies were singing it quietly and most were stamping their hooves.

"Ain't no grave, can hold my body down. There ain't no grave, can hold my, body down. the ponies stood and sang louder, emboldened, all stamping. The commander nodded at the trench side. "Well look down yonder Gabriel, put your feet on land and sea," The commander lifted himself over the side of the trench to face the incoming zebra's and the rest of the ponies soon followed. "But Gabriel don't you blow your trumpet, 'til you hear from me. There ain't no grave, can hold my, body down. There ain't no grave, can hold my, body down.

The ponies were standing in a line, swords bared, the unicorns holding theirs through magic, the pegasi pointing the swords attached to their wings. The ponies stamped in time, and the zebra's stopped 100 meters away, scared by the sudden bravery of the ponies and the stamping sound, now the only noise on the battefield. They fired a barrage of deadly magic at the line, but it simply exploded on a magical shield erected by the unicorns. The zebra's outnumbered the ponies 4 to 1, and they knew it, so they charged. The ponies met this by stamping slowly forward, staying in time with the song.

"Well meet me Celestia meet me, meet me in the middle of the air, and if these wings don't fail me, I won't meet you anywhere. Ain't no grave, can hold my, body down. There ain't no grave, can hold my, body down."

The zebra's fell upon the ponies, swinging madly. The ponies met their blows and were holding their own.

"Well meet me mother and father, meet me down the river road, and momma you'll know I'll be there when I check in my load. Ain't no grave, can hold my, body down. There ain't no grave, can hold my, body down." Suddenly twenty or so pegasi flew overhead and landed at the back of the zebra's forces. It was over in half a minute. The commander sung the last line of the song by himself.

"There ain't no grave, can hold my, body down."

New OC's

Cap, the team leader

Brawl, the second in command

Maverick, team flying ace

Tank, team chef and heavy armour specialist

Mary, sharpshooter

Doc, semi-crazy scientist

One more thing: I can't decide whether Doc should have a German accent or not: so I'll let you vote, just say whether you want him to or not :/

Sneak Preview: My Little Mercenaries

A/N: What you see here is around half the first chapter of my upcoming story, and some of the other stuff will make more sense when you read the rest of it.

Brawl was standing on his hind legs, against the wheel. It was 19:49, but he planned to stay up. He diverted his attention to a flash behind him. A scroll had appeared in a tray of ashes. He turned and walked over to it. It was a reply to the letter Doc had sent, saying there was a single bay avaible, but it would be costly. Brawl wrote a reply and put it in the out tray, and placed a bag of Bits with it. Enough to buy them 3 months docking in Canterlot. Brawl went back to the wheel. To the left the sun was setting, and if they made good time would be over Whitetail wood by midnight, then Canterlot at 10 o’clock the next morning.

Brawl picked up the plate and licked the last of the chilli off. Tank was a good cook, even if the two sometimes vied for toughest pony. What Brawl lost by not speaking, he made up in fighting skill. Besides, he didn’t need to talk; his own thoughts were enough to occupy him. Like now. He was pondering one of Docs mind games, being careful not to get distracted from piloting the airship. He had just crossed the Virgoe Peninsula. Wouldn’t be long before they reached Equestrian mainland.

Then he could relax.

Maverick closed the door of his room and rubbed his stomach. He lazily flew into the air and landed in the hammock hanging 5 feet off the floor. Almost back in Equestria, where the jobs were easy. He did most of the work, being the fastest moving pegasus on the team but he’d still get to catch up with old friends. He used a hoof to push him away from the wall, then let go and let the hammock rock. He placed his hooves behind his head and relaxed.

Doc walked into his lab. The roof in here was higher than the rest of the airship, and built into the airships cramped lower deck. He looked at the still smouldering metal tank. It had taken weeks to get the chemical mixture correct, and here was the result. He turned and went over to the worktable where E’s gun was sitting in about forty pieces. Maverick had described the weapon to them when he had told them where he came from, and E had liked the idea of a gun. Back then she had been into bows and crossbows, but she wanted something more advanced. After 5 weeks of pestering him, Doc had agreed to make one, something Maverick called a Barret .50 cal.

Then she had gone and gotten it broken in a fight.

Doc sighed as he picked up the hammer to finish re-shaping the meter long barrel. Then he could finish re-assembly.

Cap was walking through the cramped corridors on lower level of the ship. The airship had started of life as a cargo freighter, and when the team had brought it they’d redesigned it to suit their needs. Instead of a mammoth cargo bay, the ship now had a laboratory, canteen, 6 bedrooms and a recreational room.

And underneath all of that were a number of cramped corridors and rooms. Storage, a few holding cells and the secure storage. That was where Cap was heading now, to review a contract. He stopped in front of the steel door and pulled out the encrypted electrical key. Placing it in the slot the door hissed and swung into the steel lined room. Cap walked in and opened the secure safe that held previous company contracts. At present there were about half a dozen pieces of paper, all scheduled to be burnt except one. Cap picked it out and looked it over.

E settled into her queen sized bed and stared at the ceiling. She had pinned half a dozen targets to the roof and when she felt bored she would fire arrows into them, as a way of passing the time if nothing else. Just as she closed her eyes, she heard music start pounding through the walls. She shot up.

“Maverick!” she screamed before storming out of her room. She ran down the corridor, around the corner, past Cap’s room, around another corner and stopped at the room with the sign ‘Mavericks Crib’. She attempted to gain Maverick’s attention by destroying his door.

“Maverick, open the bucking door!”

A second later the music stopped and the door opened slightly. Mavericks face appeared.

“Yes?” he asked innocently.

“I’ve told you enough times not to play music at night! You KNOW it goes right through the walls!”

“Does it? I hadn’t noticed.” Maverick held up his device, something he called an iPhone, and tapped the screen. Another song started playing.

“Sorry for Party Rocking.” Maverick slammed the door in E’s face.

“MAVERICK!” E screamed before turning around and bucking the door.

“Sorry, can’t hear you!” came a muffled response from the other side of the door over the noise of the pounding music.

“Celestia damn it!” E gave up and stalked back to her room. She would get Maverick back for this. She stormed back to her room to start plotting.

Tank stepped into his room. It was a simple enough affair. Bed, a trunk with his favourite armour (Steel lined with Titanium strips, and his cutie mark scratched into the helmet), a desk and chair he rarely used. He spent most of his time either in the canteen or the rec room, watching Mavericks and E’s regular arguments.

He lied back in his bed, closed his eyes and fell asleep in a few seconds. He hadn’t been particularly tired, but after 5 years in the business he’d gotten damned good at cat-napping.

Lightning Weaponry (Stranded Pilot BS)

I've been speaking to another user, Wing Zero 032, about weaponry for Mavericks Eurofighter Lightning. He came up with this entire list of weapons, which is cool enough, but English isn't his native language either, which makes it even more impressive. Everything below is exactly what he wrote, completely unedited.

DON'T WORRY: I won't be this technical in the story, and in fact probably won't be able to use a number of the ideas, and a number more that I can I'll have to edit a tad, but he's still been cool enough to do all this. Also, which weapon do you think is the coolest?

Weaponry:

Thunder Stunner Missile/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE DERPER): as its nickname implies, this short Range, multi-purpose, high mobility heat seeker missile, replacement of AIM-9X Sidewinder, is ideal to stun individual targets in mid-air or on the ground, its improved mobility will make it be able to chase its target and stay always on its six o clock until it hit it, its magic based warhead will make lose every sense of direction(think of it like flying or playing a videogame with inverted axis controls and button configuration random changed at sudden), motor coordination voluntary response, forcing it to land and fall unconscious for an amount of 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target fly and behave even worse than Derpy.

Lightning Chaos Missile/Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE JOKER or DISCORD'S ARROW): As its nickname implies, this short Range, multi-purpose, high mobility heat seeker missile, replacement of AIM-9X Sidewinder, is ideal to stun and incapacitate individual targets in mid-air or on the ground, its improved mobility will make it be able to chase its target and stay always on its six o clock until it hit it, its Poison Joke Chemical based warhead will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time.

(Only 2 can be Equipped of Thunder Stunners or Lightning Chaos Missiles, one per wingtip)

Spider Web Missile/Solid Type Weaponry (AKA: THE SPAM NETTER): This Medium Range, Air-to-Air, high mobility laser guided missile, replacement of the Sparrows, is ideal to Capture individual or multiple targets in mid-air at once.

This missile is designed to explode before the target when head-on or over the target at chase so the net in the warhead spreads enough cover its objective, and close itself with advanced magic spells that reinforce and make the net close itself ensures that the target will be restrained.

Sky Net Missile/Solid Type Weaponry (AKA: THE PONY CATCHER): This Long Range, Air-to-Air, high mobility laser guided missile, replacement of the Sparrows, is ideal to Capture individual or multiple targets in mid-air at once, its improved mobility will make it be able to chase its target and stay always on its six o clock until it hit it, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than Spider Web missile.

This missile is designed to explode before the target when head-on or over the target at chase so the net in the warhead spreads enough cover its objective, and close itself with powerful magic spells that reinforce and make the net close itself ensures that no matter how physically strong is the target, it will be restrained.

(NOTE: Both, the Spider Web and Sky Net Missiles can be equipped up to eight missiles in the typhoon with four in the body and four in the wings if is decide to not carry any other weapons aside from the Thunder Stunner or Lightning Chaos Missiles at the tip of the wings)

Lancer Missile/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE PARALYSZING SPEAR): as its nickname implies, this Extreme-Long Range,  Air-to-Air, high mobility Radar-Guided missile, replacement of SPARROW Missile, is ideal to Paralyze individual targets in mid-air at extreme long ranges, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than any other missile, its improved mobility will make it be able to chase its target and stay always on its six o clock until it hit it (As long as the target remains inside of the Targeting Circle in the HUD), its magic based warhead will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of one hour 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target droop from the sky like a rock.

Thanks to its magic Nature this missile can be use to destroy permanently any mechanical, electronic and magic system if the target is any other airship while paralyzing each and every one of its occupants.

(NOTE: Only two can be equipped, one per wing)

MECM Pods: Magic and Electronic Counter Measure Pod/Magic-Electronic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE BAN-JAMMER): Just like the standard ECM Pod: this system was designed for Electronic Warfare, just with a little twist: it can work against magical weaponry, communications systems, targeting systems, Radars, detection and tracking spells just as well as the original ECM Pod system, its range can cover the distance of all ponyville from beginning to end just in affecting radius.

As mentioned before this system will not just be able to mess with magic weaponry and battle magicians themselves and mess up any changeling transformation and mind control spells within its affectation radius, it will create false decoys in the radar, targeting systems and detection spells and also will be able create illusionary decoys, blur the enemy’s vision (or even black-out if it gets too close) as soon as it gets inside of the affectation radius of the MECM pods, but also will deviate each and every magic attack directed to the aircraft as long as the system is activated, practically creating a virtually invisible protective sphere all around the aircraft of the range previously mentioned.

(NOTE: this system occupy the lower part of the body, right behind the Battery service Panel or on one weapon slot in each wing if equipped with the Angry Bird Bomber Dispenser, and Works better with the Discord Magic/Electronic Warfare System)

Vulcan Machinegun Pod/Solid Type Weaponry (AKA: OVERKILL BULLET BARRAGE) Identical to the Vulcan Machinegun this external pod with ammunition will provide additional firepower when using the aircraft machinegun in combat.

(NOTE: Only four can be equipped, two per wing if used all of them at once without any other weaponry aside of the short range missiles)

Rocket Pods/Magic-Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE INSTANT PARTY): These Rocket Pods are of 30 rockets each one are equipped with rockets of either Magic or chemical based warhead and set at random, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each missile will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time, while its magic based content of the other missiles will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of two hours 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target stop dead on its tracks.

(NOTE: Only twelve can be equipped, six per wing)

Anchor Missile/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE PARALYSZING HARPON): as its nickname implies, this Extreme-Long Range,  Air-to-Ground/Ship, high mobility Cruiser missile, Just as the Lancer missile, this is Air to Ship or even Air to Ground missile is ideal to Paralyze either individual targets in mid-air at extreme long ranges, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than any other missile, its improved mobility will make it be able to head to its target and hit it with extreme precision thanks to its guidance systems, its magic based warhead will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of one hour 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target stops dead on its tracks.

Thanks to its magic Nature this missile can be use to destroy permanently any mechanical, electronic and magic system if the target is any other ship, or ground vehicles while paralyzing each and every one of its occupants.

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon partially does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ADVICED.

(NOTE: Only four can be equipped, two per wing)

Stoner Missile/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE SPAMMING STUNNER): This Long Range, Air-to-Air, high mobility laser guided missile, is ideal to Stun individual or multiple targets in the ground at once, its improved mobility will make it be able to hit its target from above at highly closed angles, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than Spider Web missile.

This missile is designed to explode over the target so the stunning spell in the warhead spreads enough cover its objective and still keeping spreading all around the surrounding area of the target, its magic based warhead will make lose every sense of direction(think of it like moving or playing a videogame with inverted axis controls and button configuration random changed at sudden), motor coordination voluntary response, even it will produce nausea and loose of balance, forcing it to land and/or  fall unconscious for an amount of 2 hours 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target fly and behave even worse than Derpy.

(NOTE: Just like the Spider Web and Sky Net Missiles, those also can be equipped up to eight missiles in the typhoon with four in the body and four in the wings if is decide to not carry any other weapons aside from the Thunder Stunner or Lightning Chaos Missiles at the tip of the wings)

Swarm Bomber Dispenser Missile/Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE GUIDED CLUSTERFU-UN): as its nickname implies, this Long Range,  Air-to-Ground, high mobility Cruiser missile, Just as the Lancer missile, this is Air to Ground missile is ideal to wreak havoc in the battle zone at long ranges, while its powerful engines will make them go faster, longer and farther than any other missile, its improved mobility will make it be able to head to its target and hit it with extreme precision thanks to its guidance systems, and release its payload of 30 unguided bombs small size, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each bomb will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time.

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon partially does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ADVICED.

(NOTE: Only four can be equipped, two per wing)

Beehive Cluster Bomb/Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE WTF JOKE): This Unguided  free falling bomb large size is perfect to wreak havoc in the battle zone depending of the height and speed the aircraft release the bomb, three seconds later , this will release a payload of 90 unguided bombs small size, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each bomb will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time.

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ENFORCED.

(NOTE: Only four can be equipped, two per wing)

Angry Bird Bomber Dispenser/Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE SH-T STORM): Bomber Dispenser Unit is Great for Carpet Bombing strikes with a range that may vary depending of the height and speed the aircraft release the bomb, three seconds later , this will release a payload of 130 unguided bombs small size, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each bomb will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time.

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ENFORCED.

(NOTE: this system occupy the entire lower part of the body, covering the entire Battery service Panel)

Shock Unguided Bomb/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE MUFFIN STRIKE): This Unguided  free falling bomb standard size is perfect to Paralyze the enemy  on a wide spread area in the battle zone as soon as it makes impact to the ground, its magic based content with a five hundred meters of affectation diameter will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of two hours 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target stops dead on its tracks.

Thanks to its magic Nature this bomb can be use to destroy permanently any mechanical, electronic and magic system if the target is any other ship, or ground vehicles while paralyzing each and every one of its occupants.

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ENFORCED.

(NOTE: Only eight can be equipped, two per wing and four in the body)

Awe Unguided Bomb/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: THE BAKED BAD): Just like the Shock Unguided Bomb, this Unguided  free falling bomb Large size is perfect to Paralyze the enemy  on a wide spread area in the battle zone as soon as it makes impact to the ground, its magic based content with a five hundred meters of affectation radius will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of five entire hours of time, in other words it will make the target stop dead on its tracks.

Thanks to its magic Nature this bomb can be use to destroy permanently any mechanical, electronic and magic system if the target is any other ship, or ground vehicles while paralyzing each and every one of its occupants.

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ENFORCED.

(NOTE: Only eight can be equipped, two per wing and four in the body)

Surprise Guided Bomb/Magic-Chemical Type Weaponry (AKA: THE MOUNTAIN WRECKER): This laser-guided Anti-Bunker, free falling bomb standard size was designed to cause mayhem and to Paralyze the enemy  on a wide spread area after penetrating any kind of fortification in the battle zone as soon as it makes impact to the ground, its Poison Joke Chemical based content of each bomb will affect for an indeterminate time and in a randomly chaotic and very unfavorable way its target, only by using proper poison joke treatment the target will be able to go back to normal as its effects are undefined by time, while its magic based content will make lose the target every sense of motor coordination voluntary response at the first 5 seconds, then it will paralyze each and every non vital muscle of it, forcing it to land or fall and remaining Immobile for an amount of two hours 30 minutes of time, in other words it will make the target stop dead on its tracks.

Its improved high mobility and guidance systems will allow this bomb direct itself where the laser points into it, no matter how well protected or deep buried is the enemy stronghold, it will pass through it and explode inside of the fortification releasing its contents to the enemy.

Thanks to its magic Nature this missile can be use to destroy permanently any mechanical, electronic and magic system if the target is any other ship, or ground vehicles while paralyzing each and every one of its occupants.

(NOTE: Only eight can be equipped, two per wing and four in the body)

Nightmare Fuel Air Explosive Bomb(NFAEB)/Magic Type Weaponry (AKA: CUPCAKE): Similar to the Shock & Awe Unguided Bombs, this Unguided free falling bomb Extra-Large size is perfect For Psychological Warfare, it will affect the enemy on a ridiculously wide spread area in the battle zone as soon as it makes impact to the ground in an incredibly fast rate of spreading speed, its magic based content with an entire kilometer of affectation radius will make the Target (AKA: the unlucky helpless victim) suffer from disturbing hallucinations about their objectives and opponents, breaking completely their will to fight and either surrender or retreat.

It will not just be limiting itself with hallucinations only, its effects will also create nightmares even of worse level than the “daydreams” produced by the bomb forcing the target to awake and be deprived of sleep, with sleep deprivation and the fatigued mind and body the target will be a whole hell lot easier to take-down.

To cure the effects of the Nightmare Fuel Bomb, the subject must be treated immediately with magic dream therapy and the “Sweet Dreams” magic spell (Psychological Therapy is highly recommended in the treatment).

This bomb was developed in collaboration of Her Royal Highness Princess Luna of Equestria, named by Rainbow Dash and nicknamed by Pinkamena Diane Pie (when she somehow had a straight mane style that day…).

WARNING: Due to its nature, this weapon does not recognize allies from enemies so is not recommended to use if allied and friendly Forces, neutral parties and/or civilian population are among the battlefield because it will affect them without distinction, CAUTIOUS USAGE AND DEPLOYMENT IS ENFORCED.

Thelma & Louise, Lyra & Bon Bon (RS)

Bon Bon and Lyra were sitting in the Cadillac, facing the gorge. There were several dozen sheriff ponies behind them, waiting for them to surrender. They had been chasing the pair for hours. It ended here.

Bon Bon turned to Lyra and spoke:

"Lets not get caught." Bon Bon said.

"What're you talking about?" Lyra asked.

"Let's keep going!" Bon Bon said.

"What d'ya mean?" Lyra asked, still not understanding what she meant.

"Go."

The turquoise unicorn looked forward, then back at Bon Bon. "You sure?"

Bon Bon nodded. "Yeah."

The pair looked at each other. Bon Bon was close to tears. Lyra reached over and kissed her, and a second later Bon Bon kissed back. They broke apart, and Bon Bon let out a sob. She floored the gas pedal, making for the gorge.

As they got closer, they grabbed each others hoofs and held tight, as the Cadillac flew over the edge of the gorge, leaving the sheriff ponies gaping at a dust cloud.