One Thousand Years on the Moveby RavenmaneChaptersEvening OneEvening TwoEvening ThreeEvening FourEvening One“Please state your name for the record,” I spoke with a rather professional tone. I left my laptop next to her and had a Bluetooth headset on so we could just add our conversation to this document while we went about things. “Um I am Luna, Princess of the Night and Co-Ruler of Equestria.” “Very good, you’re learning to keep an inside voice rather well Princess.” I tossed vegetables in my wok and prepared a salad for Luna while she waited for dinner. Today was different from when I first met Luna. I found it odd to find such a regal being tapping on my apartment window. Nevertheless, I knew who she was at first glance and let her into my apartment. I was, after all, on the fifteenth floor and even she could only hover there for so long. “Are you adjusting well Princess?” “Oh yes, after I found out about Friendship is Magic I have adjusted far better.” “And how long have you been on Earth?” “Nearly one thousand years. I would also like to say that it has been a very hard time for me.” “Oh? How hard has it been?” “As of this session it is June 7th, 2011. If we are correct, I have only two more weeks left on your planet. I arrived here on October 31st, 1011. And it has been a rough millennium for me.” “I can imagine; you were present for two world wars, Hitler’s rise to power, the sinking of the Titanic-” “Yes, and that was just in the past century.” “And what did you do before World War I?” “For the most of it I was travelling through Europe and Asia. In the most recent century I spent time in America, a stowaway on the Titanic. It was far too distant a travel by my own wings.” “And how about the decade before your arrival, did anything scientific or artistic stand out before you?” “Oh yes, I read Einstein’s work. He was a remarkable man. I hope to share such findings with my sister when I return to Equestria.” I smiled, “do you think you will be forgiven for your transactions?” “If ‘Tia is anything like she is in the show I think I shall. If not, then I hope she still shows some mercy for me. I truly think I deserve some after so long.” I got out dishes, the meal finished and ready to serve. We stopped for a while, our conversation saved and waiting for dinner to finish. I will state that Luna has made considerable strides since I first met her. At first, she was shy and freezing. She was malnourished and I felt like I should help her out. The theory of Luna’s love of socks is true, she wears some rather silly looking pink socks; I had clumsily sewed stars onto them at her request. So too is her adoration of the abacus, having four resting in various places of her room. Her room is rather sparse; she hasn’t liked many decorations to spruce it up any. In addition to her bed, she has a bookcase filled with scientific journals and art books. With a little teamwork, we made a little pony, akin to a teddy bear, and she sleeps with it every day. She looks rather adorable curled up in bed with it, while she sleeps most of the daylight hours away. After nearly forty minutes, we watched an episode of Friendship is Magic, something I promised to do with her every night until the solstice. Tonight she watched Call of the Cutie for the second time. We timed it so she would see the season a second time before she had to leave. If we were right then that was the case. I decided to do this interview with Princess Luna so that we had a record of her time in exile at least for anybrony who wanted to know something about Luna. Suffice to say, the princess was positively giddy for the time I would spend asking her questions about herself. After the episode, we resumed our interview. “Princess,” I began but I was given pause by her hoof being raised to silence me. “I would like you to still call me Luna during this interview.” “Very well, then Luna I would like you to tell me about your thoughts on the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” “I think the show is a very interesting take on everyday life for a group of everyday ponies in a quaint town. If it is true and I return to Equestria on the solstice, then I wonder how accurate to the show everything is.” “If it is accurate will you bother your sister, knowing exactly what shall happen in the coming year?” “If she dares to question what I learned on the ‘moon,’ then of course I will. If she has this student send her reports I will ‘predict’ the letters for my amusement.” “Which shall be at your sister’s expense?” “Naturally, I believe that I must make light of my sister by pulling pranks on her whenever necessary. It will remind her that I am home and willing to torture her just as much as she, what was the word…” “Trolls?” “Yes, thank you. As much as she trolls the residents of Ponyville I would think.” “I have to ask, you've seen the show once already. Is there anypony that you like? Somepony that you think is your favorite.” I was quick to add something so I couldn't let her ego swell too much. “Picking yourself doesn't count.” She chose to stick her tongue out at me for a second before thinking about it. “Not including myself I would have to say I enjoy Pinkie Pie most of all.” “Is there any particular reason?” “Yes, I enjoy her free spirit and constant urge to party. I am under the impression that she would have a party on, say Tuesday, based on the fact that it was Tuesday.” I tried to come up with some form of counter argument, but it never really developed. I could see Pinkie doing that. It scared me some. “Would you attend such a party?” “I'm sure I would attend one sometime, but not immediately. I'm sorry to say that I'm not a very open pony, but I'd like to be sometime.” I smiled, I knew deep down that she could do it. I chose to continue our interview, and wrapping it up for the night. “I have a personal question. What about the Everfree Forest, is it really dangerous?” “To my knowledge it isn’t, remember that in my time the palace was there. I theorize that it turned into what we see in the show when my sister used the Elements of Harmony on me.” “Was that experience painful at all?” “Not really, I mean to say that ‘Tia could have hurt me considerably, but her intentions were good and I think that saved me from considerable pain.” “Well, I think that should be enough for tonight Luna. On behalf of the brony community I would like to thank you for sitting down with me and answering some questions for us.” “Not a problem, could you bring me something to read for tonight?” “Certainly Luna,” I said happily. -End of Night One- ***** Author's Note: I'm really liking this idea, but while I write this I'd like some questions to ask in the comments, otherwise I'll be asking them off the top of my head. I think I'll be writing these Pony-Human stories for a little while. At least until I'm ready to write some pure Pony fan fiction. Evening TwoNight 2 “Fellow bronies,” I said as the computer began to type. “I am pleased to return tonight with my guest: Princess Luna” “I must thank you for hosting me for these past few months,” she began calmly, “and I am pleased to answer questions for my fans.” “Thank you for being here Luna. Our first question comes from a fellow brony who lives in this building in room 1023.” “Oh? Who is this fan of the show?” “He is a co-worker of mine named Maxwell. Well, Max’s question is a rather simple one to ask. He wishes to know how you got along with your sister before your banishment.” “Oh this one is a difficult one to answer.” “Please try your best Luna, if you don’t wish to cover something then please say so.” “’Tia and I were not around since the beginning of time, someponies would argue this notion but it is the truth my little bronies. While we were little fillies, there was a tremendous strain on the unicorns to do our current jobs. Regardless of what their talent was, scores of unicorns were tasked with raising the sun or raising the moon. Back in that time, ‘Tia and I just wanted to have fun. We did not know what our special talents were, nor did we embody all properties of our subjects.” “Wow, so what was Celestia like when she was a filly?” “She was a wild one, I was the good girl.” “She was a real prankster?” “Among other things, once she ran around using magic to draw all over everypony’s second story windows. But she never got in trouble for it.” “Not even once?” Luna shook her head. “She was mother’s little angel. If I was the one with the elements she would’ve been the one on the moon.” “We talked about the banishment to the moon before, but let’s catch everypony up in regards to that. If you were supposed to be banished to the moon then why are you here on Earth?” “’Tia was never known for her accuracy when it came to spells like that. To say she missed the moon would be the understatement of eternity.” She laughed, “I wouldn’t have missed.” One short recess of laughing later we returned to the interview for tonight… “Now, let’s get back on track, were you rather fun-loving as a filly?” “I played with ‘Tia when I could, but I studied a lot; science, art, math, astronomy, the works.” “Sounds like you had a lot on your plate. What really caused the rift between the two of you?” “It all started back when we got our cutie marks. I got mine first when I joined the squad that raised the moon. I was gifted with the skill to raise and lower the moon all on my own. ‘Tia was furious, she wanted to join the sun team to try and outshine her little sister. At the time, she just did not have the discipline to do it like her little sister, so she was part of the team. In time, she improved and would later raise the sun on her own.” “Got it, little miss ‘perfect ruler’ was the jealous type.” “She shirked lessons too. It is a rather interesting thing to learn is it not?” “Aside from the fact that if she knew you were sharing this-” “She might not miss and actually send me to the moon?” “Think she’d do the math or just eyeball it?” “She’d do the math this time, or get somepony else to do it. This Twilight Sparkle would do it without a second thought if ‘Tia asked nice enough.” ***** “Okay,” I said with some glee, “were back now. Plenty of food and another episode of My Little Pony down; makes me sad knowing we’re counting down to when you leave.” “I agree, the solstice will probably mean that we shall part ways for good. You have been a good friend over all this time.” I smiled, trying to hide my sadness. “Care to say what you don’t wish to share with everyone?” “Well, I’m not going into anything too graphic, like a play-by-play or something like that. However, I will be sure to share. ‘Tia sent me to the moon, so why can’t I belittle her some?” “Then let’s pick up there tomorrow night.” Luna grinned, “I like the sound of that.” Evening Three“Luna,” I said with a mischievous grin, “tonight we have a very unusual question for you.” “Oh?” “Yes, the internet has spoken. And for once I’m inclined to listen to it.” “I do not like the sound of this. You already told me the dangers of the brony community.” “But these are your fans, not your sister’s.” Luna shifted on the sofa. “Please, spare me. What is it that the herd wishes to know?” My mischief eroded quickly, leaving only my Cheshire cat-like grin. “As we were talking about last night so too has the herd wanted to know. Is there anything compromising you’d like to share with us about Princess Celestia?” “Oh? Oh!” Her eyes widened. “I’m so happy they wish to know some of those kinds of secrets correct!” I merely nodded. “Very well, now where shall I begin?” She tapped her hoof against the table a few times while she thought about it. “We are so going to the moon for real if she finds out about this aren’t we?” “Yes we will.” “Then go into as much detail as you want. We may as well earn our punishment. Besides, the company would be good right?” She glared, “you’re thinking dirty thoughts again.” “How did you put it? I believe it was the 'dangers of the brony community.' Anyways what would you like to share?” “I don’t know where to begin, it’s a long list.” “Let’s start small.” “Right, the origin of the name ‘Molestia’ it is! This is not a name that is just a fabrication of the fanbase. Some guards started to call her that after an… incident.” “Do go on Luna. This may just go down in brony history.” “It all started with her first student, a pegasus named Morning Glory. When Morning was a filly, nopony thought of what ‘Tia was actually grooming her for.” “Going from student to ‘private guard’?” “Worse, she became more like a test subject. Oh the scandal when it came to light, no pun intended.” “I’m almost afraid to ask,” I paused as if trying to restrain myself, “go on.” “After ‘Tia stopped teaching Morning about being a skilled flyer and a proper guard is when it really started to, as you once put it, go south. Before then there was a little intimacy, a kiss here and there, rather harmless actually. After that, Morning went on to become a loyal palace guard and raise a family. Then there were the late night rendezvous in ‘Tia’s room. Oh, I loved spreading gossip about it after finding out the story.” “Was there anypony else along with Morning?” “One of my guards often snuck out. I had him tailed. A loyal soldier informed me of ‘Tia, Morning, and my guard exploring every possible inch of each other. In great detail I might add.” “Tasty little affair that.” “Well, when I found out I just spread it around like a nasty little gossip topic. ‘Tia would deny it, as would Morning. Morning had two foals after all; the scandal would have ruined her life. The guard who would sneak out however, was not as fortunate. I made sure he was sent to the deepest, darkest, loneliest cell in the dungeon. After everything got out in the open, that is to say when ‘Tia admitted it to me, I had him executed for his negligence. After all, if he was in need of such a thing all he had to do was swallow his pride and be open with me about his needs.” “You would’ve done that with him.” “Heavens no,” her face had quickly turned a fierce shade of red, “not with some other mare involved! I still have my pride.” “Are you a one stallion girl Luna?” “I want to know I’m the only one in a man’s heart.” I kissed her cheek. “Noted my dear Queen of the Night.” “You’ll find a good woman to take my place after I leave. We both know you will.” “They’ll never fill that hole in my heart for you. Anyways, back to your sister’s activities.” “Ever notice how shiny her guard’s armor is? Or that they all have pure white coats?” “Oh dear,” I had a face coated in mock-fear. “For centuries her personal guards were all required to ‘donate’ their services to ‘Tia every once and a while.” “Both mares and stallions?” “Of course, I think ‘Tia was never very picky. But unlike her affair with Morning, that was actually well known at the time.” “So, when would guards have families?” “They retired, or switched shifts since I was better about the whole ruler-guard thing.” “If they became your guards how did they meet other stallions or other mares?” “Getting up early was common. We did not have coffee at the time so it was difficult to keep guards that were courting somepony else awake at the end of their shifts.” I remember Luna’s first run-in with espresso, she thought she could handle it. She was jittery and hyperactive for quite a while before crashing. Since then it’s been one cup of coffee after I get back from work. “Any other little events in Celestia’s life you’d love to share?” Luna stifled a giggle before clearing her throat. “’Tia and Discord sitting in a tree~” I blinked, that wasn’t something I expected. “Okay, first of all why so sing-songy. Secondly, who’s Discord?” Bear in mind I’ve been running on work, taking care of Luna, and the occasional slew of chores. “Discord was once the ruler of Equestria, he was before us. He is the embodiment of chaos.” “Now, how did that work?” “Very awkwardly, he was attracted to her prankster side. She was drawn to the fact that he stared at her flank and drooled a bit while doing so.” “And how disastrously did it end?” “When Discord dumped ‘Tia, he became a very tasteless lawn ornament courtesy of the Elements of Harmony. Now as for your other question, it was something rather strange and amusing. You see he is a menagerie of various parts of creatures and we’re ponies. Not to mention while they were dating it was more as if he was more than anything a pedophile. I loved spending the late afternoons mocking them,” she paused, “publicly.” I tried to hold back a snarky laugh but failed miserably. After regaining my composure to some degree, I cleared my throat. “So was Celestia’s love life always so…” “Scandalous? I would hope she has stopped acting that way these past thousand years. One can always hope, but I’m prepared to be disappointed. Fortunately, Miss Sparkle seems to have some morals hidden somewhere behind her devotion. Provided she hasn’t been completely put at ease about my sister then I can assume that she is not under that side of ‘Tia.” “Now you also told me yesterday that you were the studious one. What caused you to be so mocking towards your sister in public?” “She always got away with things so I had to-” “Get even?” “Yes,” Luna rustled a little on the couch. “I think that’s enough for tonight okay Luna?” She nodded. “How about I get your little pony?” She smiled, “thank you.” Author’s note: I suppose I have to say this now, if anypony needs to be reminded, Return to Harmony would air a few months after this is taking place. Evening Four“Welcome back my faithful bronies,” said Luna pompously. “My compatriot in these interviews has stepped out to do some grocery shopping and has left me to speak with you for a while tonight. Let us see what questions have piled up…” The sound of her humming Winter Wrap-Up while scanning through a large document of questions was clearly resonating through the apartment. “Ah ha,” she said after a while. “I enjoy this question here; it seems to be in here every so often. The question is about what piques my interest. I will hold off on the more… erogenous variations of this question and leave it for simply my hobbies.” “I am very attracted to painting and music. I have grown to enjoy the music you of the herd has created. This however does not mean I like all of it, but I am enjoying it in general. As for past human music, there was many a time where I would listen to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart from outside while he was composing.” She thought about it for a while, remembering to add her pauses to the page. “As for the art, I enjoyed sneaking into museums late at night, simply observing the artwork before running from security for amusement. In fact, I used to do that when I was in Chicago, bringing many a guard considerable frustration while trying to catch a large dark figure running to fast to even be human.” She laughed, “Attending concerts from the shadows was also fun. You humans can be a very entertaining species, especially when I can just relax in plain view of some and make them write me off as a delusion of some sort. Now let’s see how about another one…” She continued to hum Winter Wrap-Up once she returned to scanning for a question. “Confound this song; it is so hard to remove from my mind. I shall have to make other ponies sing it just to drive my sister crazy. Once she gets it in her head then I will be greatly amused.” Luna continued to examine the document, doing her best to refrain from the song that lingered in the back of her head. “I see this has cropped up again. Why do I wish to pick upon my sister? It is very simple: I want to get even. If ‘Tia pulled a prank it was humorous and most considered them harmless. Because they were often at my expense, I found them tasteless and rude. I do have dignity of my own after all.” “You’re talking about our mutually despised mischief maker aren’t you,” I asked. “Apologies everybrony, my generous host had returned and I shall return after I assist him in taking care of our groceries.” “On another note, I have veggie wraps for dinner.” “I hope they did not use mayonnaise this time,” She replied with glee. Luna had loved these vegetable wraps ever since she first had one, but sometimes they come with mayonnaise and it did not please her palette. ***** “Right, I’m back now.” I said with a content smile. “Let’s see here.” I scanned over what Luna had written already. “Yes, this is perfect Luna. Thank you for starting without me.” Luna’s response was unintelligible through her dinner. “Eat or talk Luna, we can’t understand you if you don’t swallow your food.” She gave a hard gulp, swallowing her food. “I was trying to say that I strived to match what you had told me to do. Add some narrative and break the dialogue down cleanly.” “I do have a question about earlier in this log though. What’s with Winter Wrap-Up? I mean it is a little addictive, but surely it isn’t that ingrained in your head.” “Sadly, I do enjoy it and it has gotten so deep in my mind. I wish to inflict it upon my sister at the very least; it will make the song have merit beyond being an enjoyable song at times.” “And your,” I cleared my throat, “interests?” Luna blushed and leaned in, whispering things I shall not repeat. That isn’t to say that the log didn’t have them. I simply chose to delete them. “Kinky, I didn’t expect something like that from you.” “That information does not leave this apartment,” Luna exclaimed. “It would be embarrassing to have that made public.” “I wouldn’t dare share such information my dear.” I began to sift through the question list. “Let’s see if we can find a subject for the rest of tonight…” Shortly after I began scan I started to hum At the Gala, Luna joined me quickly. “How’s this one,” I asked her, pointing to the question. “I suppose so, just not too deep and I will be fine with it.” “Right,” I smiled, “Luna, how about you tell us about the longevity of both you and your sister?” “As I said before, we are not some sort of godlike beings. My sister and I are powerful, and events of the past have allowed us to have such capabilities as we possess.” “There naturally are drawbacks to such powers aren’t they?” “Yes, but our drawbacks come at the need to provide for others and to wield our powers responsibly. I do want to set the record straight, and formally apologize for the abuse of my powers.” “You were neglected Luna,” I reassured her. “I know you had your reasons, but it’s in the past.” “No, it’s more than neglect. I want my sister to know I’m sorry. I acted so cruelly and I have to pay for it.” I smiled and gave her a hug. “I forgive you if nothing else Luna.” “Thank you, but you are my host. Are you being so kind because you keep a place for me to stay?” “Because I care what you think Luna. Because I know you did something, but you can be forgiven for it. Because you mater to everyone.” “Can we please end our interview here,” she asked with a sniffle. “I’d like at least one more night of talking for them at the very least.” “Okay,” she added softly. “If it makes you happier I’ll talk some more for them. Just not tonight okay?” I tightened my grip around her. “Thank you.” Author’s Note: I’m sorry this is going so slowly but it’s a little tricky maintaining my train of thought and having to come up with things to talk about. I would love to have some topics from the readers, unless you’d love more melodrama. If you want the drama, I’d like to kindly ask you to tell me that’s what you’re reading for. It’ll help me write something more appealing than this brief chapter.
Evening One“Please state your name for the record,” I spoke with a rather professional tone. I left my laptop next to her and had a Bluetooth headset on so we could just add our conversation to this document while we went about things. “Um I am Luna, Princess of the Night and Co-Ruler of Equestria.” “Very good, you’re learning to keep an inside voice rather well Princess.” I tossed vegetables in my wok and prepared a salad for Luna while she waited for dinner. Today was different from when I first met Luna. I found it odd to find such a regal being tapping on my apartment window. Nevertheless, I knew who she was at first glance and let her into my apartment. I was, after all, on the fifteenth floor and even she could only hover there for so long. “Are you adjusting well Princess?” “Oh yes, after I found out about Friendship is Magic I have adjusted far better.” “And how long have you been on Earth?” “Nearly one thousand years. I would also like to say that it has been a very hard time for me.” “Oh? How hard has it been?” “As of this session it is June 7th, 2011. If we are correct, I have only two more weeks left on your planet. I arrived here on October 31st, 1011. And it has been a rough millennium for me.” “I can imagine; you were present for two world wars, Hitler’s rise to power, the sinking of the Titanic-” “Yes, and that was just in the past century.” “And what did you do before World War I?” “For the most of it I was travelling through Europe and Asia. In the most recent century I spent time in America, a stowaway on the Titanic. It was far too distant a travel by my own wings.” “And how about the decade before your arrival, did anything scientific or artistic stand out before you?” “Oh yes, I read Einstein’s work. He was a remarkable man. I hope to share such findings with my sister when I return to Equestria.” I smiled, “do you think you will be forgiven for your transactions?” “If ‘Tia is anything like she is in the show I think I shall. If not, then I hope she still shows some mercy for me. I truly think I deserve some after so long.” I got out dishes, the meal finished and ready to serve. We stopped for a while, our conversation saved and waiting for dinner to finish. I will state that Luna has made considerable strides since I first met her. At first, she was shy and freezing. She was malnourished and I felt like I should help her out. The theory of Luna’s love of socks is true, she wears some rather silly looking pink socks; I had clumsily sewed stars onto them at her request. So too is her adoration of the abacus, having four resting in various places of her room. Her room is rather sparse; she hasn’t liked many decorations to spruce it up any. In addition to her bed, she has a bookcase filled with scientific journals and art books. With a little teamwork, we made a little pony, akin to a teddy bear, and she sleeps with it every day. She looks rather adorable curled up in bed with it, while she sleeps most of the daylight hours away. After nearly forty minutes, we watched an episode of Friendship is Magic, something I promised to do with her every night until the solstice. Tonight she watched Call of the Cutie for the second time. We timed it so she would see the season a second time before she had to leave. If we were right then that was the case. I decided to do this interview with Princess Luna so that we had a record of her time in exile at least for anybrony who wanted to know something about Luna. Suffice to say, the princess was positively giddy for the time I would spend asking her questions about herself. After the episode, we resumed our interview. “Princess,” I began but I was given pause by her hoof being raised to silence me. “I would like you to still call me Luna during this interview.” “Very well, then Luna I would like you to tell me about your thoughts on the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” “I think the show is a very interesting take on everyday life for a group of everyday ponies in a quaint town. If it is true and I return to Equestria on the solstice, then I wonder how accurate to the show everything is.” “If it is accurate will you bother your sister, knowing exactly what shall happen in the coming year?” “If she dares to question what I learned on the ‘moon,’ then of course I will. If she has this student send her reports I will ‘predict’ the letters for my amusement.” “Which shall be at your sister’s expense?” “Naturally, I believe that I must make light of my sister by pulling pranks on her whenever necessary. It will remind her that I am home and willing to torture her just as much as she, what was the word…” “Trolls?” “Yes, thank you. As much as she trolls the residents of Ponyville I would think.” “I have to ask, you've seen the show once already. Is there anypony that you like? Somepony that you think is your favorite.” I was quick to add something so I couldn't let her ego swell too much. “Picking yourself doesn't count.” She chose to stick her tongue out at me for a second before thinking about it. “Not including myself I would have to say I enjoy Pinkie Pie most of all.” “Is there any particular reason?” “Yes, I enjoy her free spirit and constant urge to party. I am under the impression that she would have a party on, say Tuesday, based on the fact that it was Tuesday.” I tried to come up with some form of counter argument, but it never really developed. I could see Pinkie doing that. It scared me some. “Would you attend such a party?” “I'm sure I would attend one sometime, but not immediately. I'm sorry to say that I'm not a very open pony, but I'd like to be sometime.” I smiled, I knew deep down that she could do it. I chose to continue our interview, and wrapping it up for the night. “I have a personal question. What about the Everfree Forest, is it really dangerous?” “To my knowledge it isn’t, remember that in my time the palace was there. I theorize that it turned into what we see in the show when my sister used the Elements of Harmony on me.” “Was that experience painful at all?” “Not really, I mean to say that ‘Tia could have hurt me considerably, but her intentions were good and I think that saved me from considerable pain.” “Well, I think that should be enough for tonight Luna. On behalf of the brony community I would like to thank you for sitting down with me and answering some questions for us.” “Not a problem, could you bring me something to read for tonight?” “Certainly Luna,” I said happily. -End of Night One- ***** Author's Note: I'm really liking this idea, but while I write this I'd like some questions to ask in the comments, otherwise I'll be asking them off the top of my head. I think I'll be writing these Pony-Human stories for a little while. At least until I'm ready to write some pure Pony fan fiction.
Evening TwoNight 2 “Fellow bronies,” I said as the computer began to type. “I am pleased to return tonight with my guest: Princess Luna” “I must thank you for hosting me for these past few months,” she began calmly, “and I am pleased to answer questions for my fans.” “Thank you for being here Luna. Our first question comes from a fellow brony who lives in this building in room 1023.” “Oh? Who is this fan of the show?” “He is a co-worker of mine named Maxwell. Well, Max’s question is a rather simple one to ask. He wishes to know how you got along with your sister before your banishment.” “Oh this one is a difficult one to answer.” “Please try your best Luna, if you don’t wish to cover something then please say so.” “’Tia and I were not around since the beginning of time, someponies would argue this notion but it is the truth my little bronies. While we were little fillies, there was a tremendous strain on the unicorns to do our current jobs. Regardless of what their talent was, scores of unicorns were tasked with raising the sun or raising the moon. Back in that time, ‘Tia and I just wanted to have fun. We did not know what our special talents were, nor did we embody all properties of our subjects.” “Wow, so what was Celestia like when she was a filly?” “She was a wild one, I was the good girl.” “She was a real prankster?” “Among other things, once she ran around using magic to draw all over everypony’s second story windows. But she never got in trouble for it.” “Not even once?” Luna shook her head. “She was mother’s little angel. If I was the one with the elements she would’ve been the one on the moon.” “We talked about the banishment to the moon before, but let’s catch everypony up in regards to that. If you were supposed to be banished to the moon then why are you here on Earth?” “’Tia was never known for her accuracy when it came to spells like that. To say she missed the moon would be the understatement of eternity.” She laughed, “I wouldn’t have missed.” One short recess of laughing later we returned to the interview for tonight… “Now, let’s get back on track, were you rather fun-loving as a filly?” “I played with ‘Tia when I could, but I studied a lot; science, art, math, astronomy, the works.” “Sounds like you had a lot on your plate. What really caused the rift between the two of you?” “It all started back when we got our cutie marks. I got mine first when I joined the squad that raised the moon. I was gifted with the skill to raise and lower the moon all on my own. ‘Tia was furious, she wanted to join the sun team to try and outshine her little sister. At the time, she just did not have the discipline to do it like her little sister, so she was part of the team. In time, she improved and would later raise the sun on her own.” “Got it, little miss ‘perfect ruler’ was the jealous type.” “She shirked lessons too. It is a rather interesting thing to learn is it not?” “Aside from the fact that if she knew you were sharing this-” “She might not miss and actually send me to the moon?” “Think she’d do the math or just eyeball it?” “She’d do the math this time, or get somepony else to do it. This Twilight Sparkle would do it without a second thought if ‘Tia asked nice enough.” ***** “Okay,” I said with some glee, “were back now. Plenty of food and another episode of My Little Pony down; makes me sad knowing we’re counting down to when you leave.” “I agree, the solstice will probably mean that we shall part ways for good. You have been a good friend over all this time.” I smiled, trying to hide my sadness. “Care to say what you don’t wish to share with everyone?” “Well, I’m not going into anything too graphic, like a play-by-play or something like that. However, I will be sure to share. ‘Tia sent me to the moon, so why can’t I belittle her some?” “Then let’s pick up there tomorrow night.” Luna grinned, “I like the sound of that.”
Evening Three“Luna,” I said with a mischievous grin, “tonight we have a very unusual question for you.” “Oh?” “Yes, the internet has spoken. And for once I’m inclined to listen to it.” “I do not like the sound of this. You already told me the dangers of the brony community.” “But these are your fans, not your sister’s.” Luna shifted on the sofa. “Please, spare me. What is it that the herd wishes to know?” My mischief eroded quickly, leaving only my Cheshire cat-like grin. “As we were talking about last night so too has the herd wanted to know. Is there anything compromising you’d like to share with us about Princess Celestia?” “Oh? Oh!” Her eyes widened. “I’m so happy they wish to know some of those kinds of secrets correct!” I merely nodded. “Very well, now where shall I begin?” She tapped her hoof against the table a few times while she thought about it. “We are so going to the moon for real if she finds out about this aren’t we?” “Yes we will.” “Then go into as much detail as you want. We may as well earn our punishment. Besides, the company would be good right?” She glared, “you’re thinking dirty thoughts again.” “How did you put it? I believe it was the 'dangers of the brony community.' Anyways what would you like to share?” “I don’t know where to begin, it’s a long list.” “Let’s start small.” “Right, the origin of the name ‘Molestia’ it is! This is not a name that is just a fabrication of the fanbase. Some guards started to call her that after an… incident.” “Do go on Luna. This may just go down in brony history.” “It all started with her first student, a pegasus named Morning Glory. When Morning was a filly, nopony thought of what ‘Tia was actually grooming her for.” “Going from student to ‘private guard’?” “Worse, she became more like a test subject. Oh the scandal when it came to light, no pun intended.” “I’m almost afraid to ask,” I paused as if trying to restrain myself, “go on.” “After ‘Tia stopped teaching Morning about being a skilled flyer and a proper guard is when it really started to, as you once put it, go south. Before then there was a little intimacy, a kiss here and there, rather harmless actually. After that, Morning went on to become a loyal palace guard and raise a family. Then there were the late night rendezvous in ‘Tia’s room. Oh, I loved spreading gossip about it after finding out the story.” “Was there anypony else along with Morning?” “One of my guards often snuck out. I had him tailed. A loyal soldier informed me of ‘Tia, Morning, and my guard exploring every possible inch of each other. In great detail I might add.” “Tasty little affair that.” “Well, when I found out I just spread it around like a nasty little gossip topic. ‘Tia would deny it, as would Morning. Morning had two foals after all; the scandal would have ruined her life. The guard who would sneak out however, was not as fortunate. I made sure he was sent to the deepest, darkest, loneliest cell in the dungeon. After everything got out in the open, that is to say when ‘Tia admitted it to me, I had him executed for his negligence. After all, if he was in need of such a thing all he had to do was swallow his pride and be open with me about his needs.” “You would’ve done that with him.” “Heavens no,” her face had quickly turned a fierce shade of red, “not with some other mare involved! I still have my pride.” “Are you a one stallion girl Luna?” “I want to know I’m the only one in a man’s heart.” I kissed her cheek. “Noted my dear Queen of the Night.” “You’ll find a good woman to take my place after I leave. We both know you will.” “They’ll never fill that hole in my heart for you. Anyways, back to your sister’s activities.” “Ever notice how shiny her guard’s armor is? Or that they all have pure white coats?” “Oh dear,” I had a face coated in mock-fear. “For centuries her personal guards were all required to ‘donate’ their services to ‘Tia every once and a while.” “Both mares and stallions?” “Of course, I think ‘Tia was never very picky. But unlike her affair with Morning, that was actually well known at the time.” “So, when would guards have families?” “They retired, or switched shifts since I was better about the whole ruler-guard thing.” “If they became your guards how did they meet other stallions or other mares?” “Getting up early was common. We did not have coffee at the time so it was difficult to keep guards that were courting somepony else awake at the end of their shifts.” I remember Luna’s first run-in with espresso, she thought she could handle it. She was jittery and hyperactive for quite a while before crashing. Since then it’s been one cup of coffee after I get back from work. “Any other little events in Celestia’s life you’d love to share?” Luna stifled a giggle before clearing her throat. “’Tia and Discord sitting in a tree~” I blinked, that wasn’t something I expected. “Okay, first of all why so sing-songy. Secondly, who’s Discord?” Bear in mind I’ve been running on work, taking care of Luna, and the occasional slew of chores. “Discord was once the ruler of Equestria, he was before us. He is the embodiment of chaos.” “Now, how did that work?” “Very awkwardly, he was attracted to her prankster side. She was drawn to the fact that he stared at her flank and drooled a bit while doing so.” “And how disastrously did it end?” “When Discord dumped ‘Tia, he became a very tasteless lawn ornament courtesy of the Elements of Harmony. Now as for your other question, it was something rather strange and amusing. You see he is a menagerie of various parts of creatures and we’re ponies. Not to mention while they were dating it was more as if he was more than anything a pedophile. I loved spending the late afternoons mocking them,” she paused, “publicly.” I tried to hold back a snarky laugh but failed miserably. After regaining my composure to some degree, I cleared my throat. “So was Celestia’s love life always so…” “Scandalous? I would hope she has stopped acting that way these past thousand years. One can always hope, but I’m prepared to be disappointed. Fortunately, Miss Sparkle seems to have some morals hidden somewhere behind her devotion. Provided she hasn’t been completely put at ease about my sister then I can assume that she is not under that side of ‘Tia.” “Now you also told me yesterday that you were the studious one. What caused you to be so mocking towards your sister in public?” “She always got away with things so I had to-” “Get even?” “Yes,” Luna rustled a little on the couch. “I think that’s enough for tonight okay Luna?” She nodded. “How about I get your little pony?” She smiled, “thank you.” Author’s note: I suppose I have to say this now, if anypony needs to be reminded, Return to Harmony would air a few months after this is taking place.
Evening Four“Welcome back my faithful bronies,” said Luna pompously. “My compatriot in these interviews has stepped out to do some grocery shopping and has left me to speak with you for a while tonight. Let us see what questions have piled up…” The sound of her humming Winter Wrap-Up while scanning through a large document of questions was clearly resonating through the apartment. “Ah ha,” she said after a while. “I enjoy this question here; it seems to be in here every so often. The question is about what piques my interest. I will hold off on the more… erogenous variations of this question and leave it for simply my hobbies.” “I am very attracted to painting and music. I have grown to enjoy the music you of the herd has created. This however does not mean I like all of it, but I am enjoying it in general. As for past human music, there was many a time where I would listen to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart from outside while he was composing.” She thought about it for a while, remembering to add her pauses to the page. “As for the art, I enjoyed sneaking into museums late at night, simply observing the artwork before running from security for amusement. In fact, I used to do that when I was in Chicago, bringing many a guard considerable frustration while trying to catch a large dark figure running to fast to even be human.” She laughed, “Attending concerts from the shadows was also fun. You humans can be a very entertaining species, especially when I can just relax in plain view of some and make them write me off as a delusion of some sort. Now let’s see how about another one…” She continued to hum Winter Wrap-Up once she returned to scanning for a question. “Confound this song; it is so hard to remove from my mind. I shall have to make other ponies sing it just to drive my sister crazy. Once she gets it in her head then I will be greatly amused.” Luna continued to examine the document, doing her best to refrain from the song that lingered in the back of her head. “I see this has cropped up again. Why do I wish to pick upon my sister? It is very simple: I want to get even. If ‘Tia pulled a prank it was humorous and most considered them harmless. Because they were often at my expense, I found them tasteless and rude. I do have dignity of my own after all.” “You’re talking about our mutually despised mischief maker aren’t you,” I asked. “Apologies everybrony, my generous host had returned and I shall return after I assist him in taking care of our groceries.” “On another note, I have veggie wraps for dinner.” “I hope they did not use mayonnaise this time,” She replied with glee. Luna had loved these vegetable wraps ever since she first had one, but sometimes they come with mayonnaise and it did not please her palette. ***** “Right, I’m back now.” I said with a content smile. “Let’s see here.” I scanned over what Luna had written already. “Yes, this is perfect Luna. Thank you for starting without me.” Luna’s response was unintelligible through her dinner. “Eat or talk Luna, we can’t understand you if you don’t swallow your food.” She gave a hard gulp, swallowing her food. “I was trying to say that I strived to match what you had told me to do. Add some narrative and break the dialogue down cleanly.” “I do have a question about earlier in this log though. What’s with Winter Wrap-Up? I mean it is a little addictive, but surely it isn’t that ingrained in your head.” “Sadly, I do enjoy it and it has gotten so deep in my mind. I wish to inflict it upon my sister at the very least; it will make the song have merit beyond being an enjoyable song at times.” “And your,” I cleared my throat, “interests?” Luna blushed and leaned in, whispering things I shall not repeat. That isn’t to say that the log didn’t have them. I simply chose to delete them. “Kinky, I didn’t expect something like that from you.” “That information does not leave this apartment,” Luna exclaimed. “It would be embarrassing to have that made public.” “I wouldn’t dare share such information my dear.” I began to sift through the question list. “Let’s see if we can find a subject for the rest of tonight…” Shortly after I began scan I started to hum At the Gala, Luna joined me quickly. “How’s this one,” I asked her, pointing to the question. “I suppose so, just not too deep and I will be fine with it.” “Right,” I smiled, “Luna, how about you tell us about the longevity of both you and your sister?” “As I said before, we are not some sort of godlike beings. My sister and I are powerful, and events of the past have allowed us to have such capabilities as we possess.” “There naturally are drawbacks to such powers aren’t they?” “Yes, but our drawbacks come at the need to provide for others and to wield our powers responsibly. I do want to set the record straight, and formally apologize for the abuse of my powers.” “You were neglected Luna,” I reassured her. “I know you had your reasons, but it’s in the past.” “No, it’s more than neglect. I want my sister to know I’m sorry. I acted so cruelly and I have to pay for it.” I smiled and gave her a hug. “I forgive you if nothing else Luna.” “Thank you, but you are my host. Are you being so kind because you keep a place for me to stay?” “Because I care what you think Luna. Because I know you did something, but you can be forgiven for it. Because you mater to everyone.” “Can we please end our interview here,” she asked with a sniffle. “I’d like at least one more night of talking for them at the very least.” “Okay,” she added softly. “If it makes you happier I’ll talk some more for them. Just not tonight okay?” I tightened my grip around her. “Thank you.” Author’s Note: I’m sorry this is going so slowly but it’s a little tricky maintaining my train of thought and having to come up with things to talk about. I would love to have some topics from the readers, unless you’d love more melodrama. If you want the drama, I’d like to kindly ask you to tell me that’s what you’re reading for. It’ll help me write something more appealing than this brief chapter.
