Crashing Equestria

Chapters

Chapter 1: Launch Rocket Gray
Chapter 2: Two Sides to Every Bit
Chapter 3: First Impressions
Chapter 4: Crashing the Crystal Castle
Chapter 5: The end of Sanity
Chapter 6: What a Glorious Morning
Chapter 7: Solid like a rock

Chapter 1: Launch Rocket Gray

The journey had been long and hard. The Four Knights had scoured the four corners of the earth to save the princesses, traversing battlefield, forest, river, plain, cave, castle volcano, factory, ocean, desert, AN ALIEN SPACE SHIP!, cornfield, swamp, mountain and icy tundra. Never faltering, never stopping, a force that could deal with any challenge, and now they stood just outside the final castle ready to take on anything inside without fear. Or that’s what they would have told you if you had asked them.

Now if you had asked the fifth member of their little party he would have told you that they were a bunch of ego-inflated fools that wouldn't have survived a day without his help. Who cooked for them? Who looked out for traps? Who cleaned and fixed their armor? Who sharpened their legendary weapons? Who gave them encouraging pats on the back when they were scared? Who provided CPR when they fell in the heat of battle? And who lugged around all their stupid sandwiches, potions, gold and tools?! Yes the Grey Knight was truly an underappreciated soul but he just grinned, turned the other cheek and passed another sandwich to the ungrateful sods.

All in all, Grey was unhappy with his lot in life. But he must help them on their quest as was his sworn oath. While yes he was joyous about the grand adventure that he was allowed to be a part of, would it kill them to let him kiss the princess once or even get a mention when they stopped in towns to resupply and regale villagers of their quest? Maybe he was just being selfish and envious of them. They had been quite chummy with him thus far, sharing tales of family and friends back home. They also did pool their cash and buy him a chainsaw when they found out his birthday had been cancelled on the day their quest began, so he guessed they weren’t all bad.

Lost in thought Grey didn’t even notice that the 4 Ultimate Knights had stopped to watch the castle float into the sky. What he did notice was when Red grabbed his collar to stop him from falling into the massive crater left by the now floating castle. Turning towards at them with an embarrassed look, a drop of sweat appeared on the side of his head.

Red gave him a hard stare, reprimanding him for being so absent minded. Blue, after a quick glance up from his tome, went back to reading. Then there was Green handing a large sack of coins to Orange. Obviously they had bet about whether he would fall into the crater. Regaining his composure Red pointed to the castle and pumped his fist into the air simulating a rocket taking off.

The Knights quickly responded to this by summoning their magic and preparing for lift off. Grey who was still not in tune with the group's seemingly hive mind was the last to blast off ... and immediately get smacked back down by a falling boulder. Shaking his head Grey looked up to see the 4 blazing a trail through whatever fell their way, already halfway to the ever rising castle.

His second attempt was far more successful than the first, but it was still very disorientating. Spinning away from the earth at an alarming pace towards a castle full of unspeakable evil was not something he was used to. It made his gut lurch and caused him to almost lose his lunch, but he managed to keep it down. Shaking his head he looked up just in time to see a mirror fall out of the castle, straight towards him. Cringing at the thought of seven years bad luck that he really didn't need he screwed his eyes shut and prepared the shatter the fragile thing.

What he was not prepared for was to fly straight through the glass as though it wasn’t there and end up rocket punching a large white and very much alive something in the face. Falling to the floor and unscrewing his eyes he had just enough time to see what looked to be an armoured boot coming towards his face at an alarming rate.

The force managed to bash out a number of teeth and flatten his nose against his already flat helmet head. Blood trickling onto the floor his vision started to fail him and he felt the grasp of unconsciousness take him. Just before blacking out he heard the large something mutter a single word.

“Oops.”

Author's Note

So yeah. Not quite sure what to write here at the moment. No idea of any real over arching story yet either but I do have plenty of ideas.

Umm.... so yeah thanks for reading. Feel free to leave some constructive criticism and tell me what ya think.

Chapter 2: Two Sides to Every Bit

In another world not long ago events were also in motion approaching the entrance of our would be hero. Let us see what they were doing shall we?

***

“By now you have surely heard the tale of how Princess Twilight Sparkle traveled to another word by means of a magical mirror? Yes? No? Ah well that is a tale for another time. Anyway the mirror is what is important to this tale.”

“What if I told you that there were more of these mirrors scattered throughout the land? Each leading to mystical and strange lands found only in your wildest dreams. What if I told you that I had in my little shop here one such mirror? One that led to a land of small squarish creatures that partied, drank and fought for simple enjoyment? You would call me mad but let me assure you tha-”

“Yes I know there are more mirrors! Yes I know where they lead! Yes I know you have one! That is why I am here! To! Buy! It!” exclaimed an extremely frustrated Celestia at the now visibly frightened shopkeep.

After the incident with the mirror in the Crystal Kingdom Celestia had made an important note to keep an eye out for any more of the strange mirrors so they could be locked away and studied at the Crystal Empire, keeping her little ponies from harm's reach but still learning the secrets of the artifacts.

When she had heard of another mirror already located in the Crystal Empire she had dedicated much of her spare time to tracking it down. From owner to owner, collection to collection, it had become a tedious task that began to grate at her not-so-infinite patience. It was just the poor shopkeep's bad luck that he was the subject of this pent up frustration.

But, if what the shopkeep said was true and the creatures on the other side of this mirror fought for simple fun it would be catastrophic if they were to sneak through, not only for the Crystal ponies but for all of Equestria. This mirror had to be found.

“Many apologies Princess I should have known better. I-I um I am so sorry.” replied the shopkeep once he had gathered his nerves.

“It is fine. Here is a writ for the agreed upon amount. I will have people sent here to collect it this afternoon. Good day.” and without another glance the Princess of the Sun turned around and left.

***

After some time pushing papers and listening to the pleas of selfish nobles (A princess's life isn’t all smiles and celebrations) Celestia was sitting down to enjoy a spot of tea with her niece, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. The two enjoying idle chat about current affairs and indulging in a bit of gossip.

This kind of interaction was one of the few things that the princess of the sun craved. With everyone so awed by her it was hard to find friends to enjoy conversation with. They were either too timid, fearing they may offend in some way, or too busy trying to manipulate her to get what they wanted. Those that tried to manipulate her never got very far though, she took pride being a perfect judge of character.

Enjoying this small pleasure there was still something tugging at the back of her mind. The mirror had been delivered not an hour past. Even now, when it was in the reliable hooves of Cadence's most esteemed guards, there was something that told her to expect anything.

When it arrived there had been two things that surprised Celestia about the delivery. The Mirror itself wasn’t anything spectacular, it sported the look of an old drawbridge gate with the gate drawn, but what surprised her about it was that no matter what she did she could not make the gate lower, by magic or force. After a time of attempting to open it she had decided it was a blessing in disguise, for as long as the gate was shut nothing could pass through it.

The other surprise that came with the mirror was the small assortment of paintings that came with it. Like the shopkeep had described they were of small squarish creatures somewhat like what twilight had described when she came back from the other side of the mirror. Most of them were quite plain, portraits, landscapes and such, but three of them really caught her eye.

One was of four knights coloured red, green, orange and blue. They appeared far more intimidating than the colourless knights that appeared in many of the other paintings. The four wielding mighty weapons and sporting looks of pure determination.

The second image... now Celestia had seen many strange and wonderful things in her life but not many managed to send a chill down her spine like this painting did. It was a portrait of one of the creatures clad in black steel. The creatures armor was viciously scratched in places and had two large horns jutting out of the sides of its helmet. This made the creature scary in its own right but what sealed the deal was the two piercing red orbs that were where its eyes should have been almost looking out of the painting itself, observing the new world that it saw.

The final was of a noble figure clad in a purple robe with fur lining; scruffy white hair covering what she assumed was its face. It was sitting upon a grand throne with a crown upon its head with many grey steel clad knights standing under the great pedestal, upon which its throne sat. Obviously this was their royal leader who commanded the respect of its people.

When she looked closer she saw that one of the many knights was sitting at a table to the side of the hall, a note before it and a mug of something gripped in its claws, looking sceptically outwards as if someone had secretly taken its picture and it had spotted the photographer as the flash went off.

Upon looking back over some of the paintings she saw this knight again and again. Distinguishable from the other knights by its somewhat burlier physique and its almost trademark skeptical look as it seemed to be looking towards the painter. There was even a portrait of the creature, skeptic look and all. Likely a form of signature or recurring joke the artist liked to include when they could.

She was abruptly brought back to reality when none other than Shining Armor all but smashed the door to her niece’s room from its hinges. “Princesses you must come quickly! The gate to the mirror has opened!” sparing not a second Celestia had dropped her cup, shattering it as it hit the ground, and was already galloping towards the Crystal Empire's reliquary with Shining Armor and Princess Cadence in tow.

***

Arriving at the reliquary a pair of guards hastily opened the doors to reveal that there were yet more guards inside, armed and armored, taking up positions around the mirror. Striding forward with Shining and Cadence flanking her she took up a position directly in front of the mirror ready to deal with whatever might try to break through. Thinking of what to say if they were friendly or how to deal with them if they were hostile.

The mirror began to shimmer, something was coming through!

Everyone present leaned forward slightly to get a better look at whatever might be coming through the magical gateway. What none of them were prepared for was for a small grey and very much alive something to rocket out and punch Celestia in the muzzle. Rearing back in pain Celestia did not notice the creature drop to the ground under her hooves just in time for her to stomp back down in frustration, crushing the poor things face in the process.

Looking back down at what she had inadvertently done she noticed that the creature was bleeding profusely from his... head? It was hard to tell through her blurred vision. Brushing this aside she realized just how badly she might have hurt the small thing. At this realization she muttered a single word.

“Oops.”

After a few seconds of complete stillness it was Shining who made the first move. Picking it up with his magic he turned quickly and began barking orders at the guards present “You! Take this thing to the dungeon! You! Find a nurse to help Celestia! You Four! Find a way to barricade the mirror so nothing else can get through!” The guards immediately began rushing around with their respective tasks.

After a few more moments of shock Celestia turned around with a dignified twist (or as dignified as you can be after being hit in the face with a small inter-dimensional being along with a bleeding muzzle and frazzled hair) and started towards her guest room. Far too many strange things had happened today and there had not been enough time to contemplate them. She needed some time alone to properly organize her thoughts.

Chapter 3: First Impressions

As a guard, Gray had spent his fair share of time in and around dungeons. Making sure the prisoners didn’t get too rowdy, ensuring that they were being treated equally regardless of their crime or social status and making sure the other guards didn’t slack off and let prisoners escape.

But for all of his time working the dungeons with the unsavory few that got into the castle uninvited he had never once found himself to be on the opposite side of those locked wrought iron bars ... well he could cross it off his bucket list now anyway.

Not much to see really, a few spiders indicating that not many people came down this way and a single torch down the hall being the only source of light meant that almost nothing was visible so he just resigned himself to his thoughts.

Gray had actually regained his consciousness quite some time ago. A slight headache and a bloody nose but that was nothing compared to what he had to deal with on his original quest though, then again being squashed into the ground by a barbarian four times his size wasn’t something he really wanted to repeat.

These thoughts aside Gray couldn’t help but wonder where the guard was. When he had awoken all he saw outside his cell was a horse that gave him a stern look and then wandered off up the hall. Now as impressive as it was for a horse to be able to make proper facial expressions Gray highly doubted that they would make very good guards. Maybe the actual guard had abandoned his post and left the horse to cover for him. Wouldn’t be the strangest story he had heard during his life.

Then something occurred to him. Forget ‘where’s the guard?’ WHERE WAS HE? Last thing he remembered was flying through a mirror and being knocked unconscious. It definitely wasn’t the Wizards castle, if it was he would already be dead. The floor was hard but not metallic nor sandstone so that ruled out Phillipe’s Industrial Castle and the ‘Sand Castle’. And it wasn’t any of the Kings castles for if it were he wouldn’t be in a cell to begin with.

Oh well nothing left to do but wait to see if anyone comes.

***

It seemed like days passed sitting in the small dark cell of his, probably had too. The horse had come back and dropped off food a couple of times, surprisingly good food as well, and each time Gray became more and more certain of a single fact. The dominant race here, wherever ‘here’ was, were in fact the horses. Now many would think this would come as a great shock, I mean ‘dominant species turn out to be horses?’ But really after fighting zombies in a volcano, ninjas on a boat and being kidnapped by aliens Gray had become virtually unphasable by the oddities in his life.

He had quickly become bored of waiting and had decided to take stock of anything his captors had left in his personal hammerspace. His captors obviously weren’t very bright because they had taken absolutely nothing from him... maybe he had been kidnapped by aliens again.

35 sandwiches sat ready to be eaten, 17 potions ready to be drunk, shield strapped to his back, his chainsaw, bow, boomerang and shovel still readily accessible not to mention an ungodly amount of gold and gems. He felt kind of bad for claiming the Four’s things as his own but he would need them far more than they did at this point in time.

These horses would be in for a big surprise if they tried anything, but, if they played nice so would he. Even if he was a knight of the King, it wasn’t his place to hand out judgment so he would let them make the first move.

And move they did when all of a sudden there was a loud thump of a door opening and the clatter of armor coming down the hall. Quickly getting to his feet Gray made sure he was ready for whatever fate might be in store for him.

5 more horses stood outside his cell, each seemingly trying to out-frown the other. There was a click from the cells lock and then what appeared to be their leader spoke “Follow us and no sudden movements.” plain and simple orders. What was odd about it was the fact that the order was spoken at all. Back in his homeland most if not all communication was made with wild hand movements and while if wasn’t completely unheard of for some creatures to adopt speech as a form of communication it was just something that crashers were incapable of.

Gray must be really far from home for speech to be the main form of communication. He soon began walking up the hallway following what looked to be a white horse in purple armor with blue mane and tail. As they left the dungeon Gray came to a stark realization. Everything was made of crystal, ranging from the vases that lined the walls every now and again to the very floor he stood. Even a majority of the ponies that he saw seemed to be made of some weird living crystal.

This whole castle was amazing; he had never seen crystals carved before. Well, he had, but only by a fellow by the name of Hatty Hattington and he was quite mad. Anyone who cried rainbows and owned a whale orb that cried gold is completely off his rocker. The only person stranger would have to be his brother Pink. Now that was a fruit if he ever sa-

He was quickly knocked back into reality as the guard behind him gave a rather hard shove to get him walking again. While rude it was to be expected, he did vividly remember punching something in the face when he first got here so they obviously thought he must be hostile. And so with this little reminder Gray held his head up and continued to follow the only pony that wasn’t a possible creation of Hatty.

Finally reaching what appeared to be their destination the four crystal guards took up positions outside the great doors that obviously lead to a hearing room where royalty would listen to their subjects. Upon opening the great doors all heads turned to Gray. As guessed it was a large hall like structure with a throne at one end and a carpet leading up to it. The occupants of the room however were three horses. Scratch that they were unicorns... with wings.

A white one stood to the left of the throne, a billowing mane of many colors, lavender eyes transfixed on Gray, not cold or cruel but curious. She wore gold jewellery with patterns carved into it and a purple gem placed into her crown and collar.

To the right of the throne was a slightly smaller dark blue one, mane sparkling like the night sky, aqua eyes glaring at him hard enough to make him feel as though he may spontaneously catch fire. More jewellery worn in the same fashion as the white ones but in a dark blue color to compliment her coat.

On the throne itself though is what seems to pass as an average sized (average still being a good half foot taller than him) pink horse... unicorn... pegacorn? Mane and tail a swatch of pink purple and yellow, purple eyes and a kind smile gracing her features. Again jewellery, but this time far simpler. Gold shoes, necklace and a tiny crown that bordered on comical.

They all stood there for a time the purple armored guard taking a position by the foot of the stairs leading to the throne. Silence reigned as Gray began to shuffle his feet. Thinking of the life decisions he had taken to bring him here, in a castle possible owned by Hatty Hattington, being held prisoner by talking horses... yup his life had taken a real turn for the worse somewhere along the line.

Finally it was the midnight blue one that spoke first in quite possibly a voice so loud it actually pushed Gray onto his backside “WHY DOST THOU NOT KNEEL BEFORE US?! DOS THOU NOT REALIZE THOU ART IN THE PRESENCE OF ROYALTY?!”

Kneel? Why would he kneel to them? They were not the King he didn’t even know who they were. All Gray knew was that they had left him in a dungeon for a few days before meeting him. Not really the best of first impressions regardless of their self proclaimed royalty. So in response to this ungodly loud question Gray simply stood up, tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow and stared as if asking 'why?'.

This small display of defiance however did prompt a response from the largest of the three, a gasp escaping her lips. “You. I’ve seen you.” She spoke in just a confused whisper as she approached him, but in the now silent hall it almost felt as if she were yelling “You are the one from the paintings”

Finally reaching him the horse lay on her forelegs to adjust for his significantly smaller frame. Almost at eye level she began to speak again, slightly louder but still gentle and caring “I am Princess Celestia of Equestria, raiser of the Sun. You may remember me, we had... quite an interesting first meeting that left us both a little worse for wear, you probably more so than I. But that is in the past now and I know harm was not your intention.”

Oh great so the first creature he meets when entering this new world happens to be its monarch and what does he do? He punches her in the face. Good going Gray. A sheepish look now plastered on his face he started to scratch his neck from embarrassment. “It is alright I hold no grudge against you but I would be very interested to know who you are.”

At this question Gray froze, eyes wide with shock. She wanted to know who he was. She wanted to know who he was! Gray’s chest was fit to burst from joy. No one had ever bothered to ask who he was. They were always too busy ogling the Four or just ignored him from his generic look. Tears welled in his eyes as he moved forwards wrapping his hands tightly around her neck. He began to sob from sheer happiness. Someone actually cared who he was. He wasn’t a mindless face in a sea of gray.

His moment however was sadly cut short as he was telekinetically wrenched from Celestia and violently thrown into a wall. “UNHAND OUR SISTER VILE CREATURE! YOU SHALT NOT HARM HER AGAIN!” came the booming voice of the blue horse.

Scrabbling to his feet Gray shrugged off the impact, the wall was probably worse off than he was. A quick look at the wall confirmed his assumptions; one of the stained glass windows had cracked from his impact too its supporting wall. Happy that he had come out the victor of that fight he turned to face his new opponent. Guards entering the room weapons drawn, ready to strike down the one who had apparently attacked their princess.

The faces of those present at the time ranged from frustrated anger aimed towards her sister from Celestia, shocked apology from the pink one on the throne, stoic determination from the non-crystal guard and blinding fury on the horse with the night sky mane. “Luna he was not attacking me he was simply giving me a hug!” Celestia cried in an attempt to subdue the situation.

This plea however fell on deaf ears as she strode towards him, horn flickering to life with a dark blue aura. The guards at the doors also seemed to have figured out the situation and began to charge poor Gray, spears pointed at him glinting in the light of the room.

It was at times like this that Gray was happy he always had a simple contingency plan.

Fight or flee?

Author's Note

So here's chapter 3. Not sure what it is but there's something I'm not quite happy with in this chapter. Maybe it's because its a bit bland. Who knows. Definitely not me.

Anyway I found some music that I thought I would share

It's a great song. Not mine of course but I just thought you should all go and appreciate its magnificence.

Chapter 4: Crashing the Crystal Castle

First rule of combat; Strike first or don't strike at all.

With the four guards moments away from him, Gray had just enough time to ready his weapon of choice. A Sandwich.

Gray was no fool and knew that if he were to start slicing royal guards into pieces there would be no forgiveness. Not to mention what would happen if he were to kill one of royal blood in their own castle. Roughing them up would have to suffice for the time being. Becoming public enemy number one could come later.

It was all Gray could do to inhale his sandwich before the guards got to him. Roaring with the power now bestowed upon him by his meaty treat, Gray turned to face his opponents. The guards, to their credit, faltered for only a second at Gray's transformation, but a second was all he needed.

Closing the short distance, Gray struck out with a beefy fist, sending one of the guards tumbling backwards. The guard came to rest back at the main door looking quite peaceful despite his bloody face.

The remaining guards didn't spare a second to help their fallen comrade, too determined to bring down the behemoth that was Gray. Thrusting forward with their spears, one of them was caught in Grays massive hand, another scraped harmlessly off the armor plating that he wore, the third however struck true. Impaling itself into his gut, the guard gave it a vicious twist to cause as much pain as possible.

Grunting in pain Gray quickly recovered. Giving the offending guard a solid backhand that sent him tumbling away, Gray wrenched the spear out of himself and sent it rolling harmlessly after the guard.

Turning to the final two guards, cracking his knuckles Gray lashed out trying to grab one of them. Sadly for Gray they had wised up to his brutish tactics and scurried backwards, leaving Grays hand to grasp nothing but empty air.

Gray, unaccustomed to his foes retreating, let out a mighty roar and charged towards the guards, catching them in his arms and increasing his pace, changing course towards the closest wall.

Upon impact with the wall both of the guards skulls jerked back and made a loud clacking noise as they impacted with the wall. The wall itself seemed to have given up on trying to hold the stained glass window in place as the entire pane shuddered lose from its housing and began its descent towards Gray and his foes.

Thinking quickly Gray threw the two guards out of the way just before the window came crashing down upon his head. Shards of glass impaling themselves into his flesh and lacerating him where they could not find a hold.

A quick time out is all I need. Pull the glass out of my spine and I'll be as right as- *smash*. That was as far as Grays thoughts were allowed to progress got before a large flowerpot was shattered over his head. Water and scented flowers giving him the equivalent to a much needed and refreshing shower.

Turning his head quickly enough to produce a sickening crack as his vertebrae realigned themselves, Gray's eyes so full of anger that no one would have been surprised if he had started shooting hate lasers from them. Luna stood there, unfazed and holding another vase in her magical grasp.

Having grown fed up with the situation Gray made for a final mad dash to knock the Princess out and finally sort out the mess he had gotten himself into. Tremors rocked the hall with every step as he made his way towards Luna who was only now starting to lose her conviction, a look of fear creeping onto her face. Grays massive fist raised to strike the princess unconscious.

It was probably for the best that just before Gray could hit Luna he reverted back into his small blockish form, fist pounding into her decorative shoe. Slowly Gray looked up, meeting the somewhat confused gaze of Luna. For a few seconds both combatants were motionless, staring at each other, until a sinister smile graced her features. Then the vase began it's descent.

Time seemed to slow as the ceramic pot advanced towards Gray's face. He took in the smooth shape the the potter had crafted out of fine clay, the creative images painted lovingly in baby blue on a white backdrop by a skilled painter and the beautiful bouquet of many flowers arranged perfectly by a florist. He could not help but feel a sort of bittersweet honor that this work would find its end upon impact with his face.

"Luna! Stop!" but it was not to be.

All eyes turned to Celestia, the vase hovering just above Gray ready to continue its decent with a moments notice. "Luna is this truly how you would treat a guest to our lands? By breaking your nieces pots over its head?" questioned Celestia in a motherly tone.

"Bu-but he was attacking you again!" retorted Luna almost childishly, shuffling her hooves and avoiding eye contact.

"He did nothing of the sort, it was a mere misunderstanding, and I would think you of all ponies would know not to judge based upon past actions." quipped Celestia, face growing stern.

"The guards then. He hurt them. Should he not be punished for that at least?" Luna was growing nervous, grasping at any kind of excuse she could think of.

"And they would have not intervened had you not struck out first." countered Celestia "Now I think it would be best if you were to leave us for now. You may apologize to our guest later."

To preserve what was left of her dignity Luna gave a curt nod, turned around and left the hall, collecting the unconscious guards on her way out. The vase was slowly lowered to the ground and Gray gave it a wide berth in case the Princess had a sudden change of heart.

Taking up position closer to the throne Gray began to roughly pick out the larger shards of glass now embedded in his upper body. When no one spoke he looked up to see his hosts faces wide eyed, shocked at the nonchalant demeanor he wore as he pulled bloodied glass from his body. Waving his hand at them he motioned for them to continue.

Celestia was the first to regain her composure from her guests blatant disregard for his own health. "I apologies for my sister. She can be ... overprotective of me sometimes but she does mean well." she said giving a glance toward the door "But we have other matters to discuss and there is also someone I would like you to meet when she arrives."

Today is going to be a long day

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long. I've been having to deal with a number of family issues recently and as such have not been in the right mindset to write. These problems will be continuing for the foreseeable future sorry to say and this might make writing haphazard at best.

in other news:

So I've spoken to a one Mixtrak and hes said that I can run my chapters by him before I publish them to the masses. Hopefully this will mean fewer grammatical mistakes and less OOC characters.

Another suggestion he made was to have Grays inner monologue in italics so it's easier to tell what's thought and what's observation.

Also I really recommend checking out his story Wings in the Forest. I haven't read too much of it (It's quite large) but from what I have read it's awesome and... yeah... go check it out else... stuff.

And today's words of wisdom are: Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.

And now for something completely different.

"Thrice I have walked this path Miss Sparkle. First as your enemy, a scared beast wishing only to survive. Then as your protector, an immortal monster in a world consumed. Then finally as your friend, a tool abandoned by its creator. What I will be to you this time is for you to decide."

Chapter 5: The end of Sanity

Today had been a long day, too long. Gray was starting to miss the heart pounding, adrenaline pumping buzz that he got from combat with the four. Thankfully though, it was finally coming to an end as the train blazed away from the Crystal Empire and towards a place called "Ponyville", just as the sun dipped below the horizon.

What kind of train needs to be pulled by horses anyway? Isn't that the point of the engine?

The carriage was coated from top to bottom in red velvet with gold trimming; the floor, chairs, sofa, bartender's vest, everything. The bar was also quite a sight to see, four taps of imported beer, more bottles of alcohol than you'd care to shake a stick at, hors d'oeuvres and club sandwiches on silver platters. Even the armchairs had little doilies that where swiftly changed whenever somepony hopped out of their seat.

Gray fidgeted in his chair, a cocktail glass in hand full of potion, as he questioned the horse's logic and tried to get comfortable in the chair obviously designed for the four legged species of this world.

This place wouldn't last five minutes if the others were here.

Finally achieving an acceptable position to lie down Gray continued to sip his cocktail potion. He twirled the umbrella in his drink and ate the slice of pineapple, all the while thinking back on the day that had passed. After the scuffle with Luna proceedings were finally able to get underway.

First thing on the agenda was establishing who everyone was. He had already picked up on the names of Luna and Celestia but Gray was also introduced to their niece, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or Cadance as she insisted to be called. She seemed nice enough, always smiling and didn't seem too peeved that Gray had technically broken her vases. Then there was Cadance's husband, Gray's jailor and captain of the guard, Prince Shining Armor, who at the time the fight broke out had taken up a defensive position in front of his wife.

After introducing themselves there was a pregnant pause as they all looked to Gray, waiting for something. Then it clicked. They wanted his name. How was he to tell them his name? He didn't speak, no one from where he came from spoke. He couldn't write either, writing wasn't a necessary skill to kill people. He new basic arithmetic but that was about it. With a heaving sigh his sat himself on the hard floor and began to ponder how he could converse with them.

After a few minutes of dead silence Gray did the only thing that came to mind, he extended his index finger and jabbed to the gray cross sewn into his tabard. A few more seconds of silence, and then a voice that Gray didn't think he would get to hear.

"Your name is... Cross?" questioned Shining Armor.

Shaking his head Gray jammed his finger slightly harder into his chest, trying to will his name into their mind.

Add a second finger. Ooh yeah that will get the point across.

A few more seconds of silence followed before Princess Cadence asked "Is your name Gray?" Gray responded by clapping his hands once and pointing both fingers towards the Princess. Maybe communication won't be as big of a deal as he thought. These ponies were obviously quite smart. Maybe they could even teach him to read and write. Possibilities for another time though, as Celestia had begun talking again.

She was now sitting on her haunches and was talking in a somber tone. "Well... Gray. I happen to have some bad news for you but first I think I owe you an explanation as to how you got here. In our world there exist many mirrors that create a kind of bridge between worlds. Your world is one of them. A few days ago we had collected your mirror in the hopes of stopping anything from coming through. Your presence here proves that we were unsuccessful and I am sorry to say this is where the bad news comes into play."

Heaving out a great sigh Celestia continued her story "You see, shortly after you passed through the mirror into our world, the mirror cracked, rendering it useless. This means that we are currently unable to return you to your own world. I understand that this may be a lot to take in at the moment but my sister and I are doing everything we can to set things right so you can return to your home."

This is where Gray lost his concentration. Unable to return home? For how long? Would he be able to return at all? What happened to his friends? Were they able to defeat The Necromancer? What about The Wizard? So many questions left unanswered all swimming around his head fighting for attention, effectively blocking out everything that Celestia said. It wasn't until the grand doors at the end of the hall groaned open that Gray was brought back to reality.

"Which brings me to the next subject on our agenda" Snapping his head back to Celestia, Gray again began to listen to what she was saying. The questions plaguing his mind were pushed out of the way for a time. "Until such a time as we are able to send you back home, you will need a place to stay. Originally we were going to have you stay here under my niece's supervision but, at the request of my student you will be staying with her so she can learn more about you." Gray could now hear the clopping of hooves approaching him from behind. "Twilight. So glad you could join us. This is Gray. Your new charge." said Celestia.

Turning around, Gray came face to face with another pegacorn. She had a well-kept lavender coat and a deep purple mane with a pink strip. An inquisitive look was on her face as it inched uncomfortably closer, to the point where Gray was forced to lean back so their faces would not make contact. Her eyes burrowed into Gray's as if trying to read his mind.

Suddenly pulling back the lavender pegacorn offered her hoof to Gray "Hello, I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle!" she exclaimed, an abnormally large grin plastered onto her face. It took Gray a few seconds to figure out what she wanted as her hoof dangled in front of him

Well she did say she was a princess.

Taking her hoof in his hands, Gray dropped to his knee and placed a chaste kiss on it. This however, was not the reaction Twilight must have been expecting, as her face turned red with an embarrassed blush and Gray could hear giggling coming from behind him.

Thinking back on it, it may not have been the best of first impressions to leave on royalty, but was definitely not the worst either. Afterwards it had just been more boring rules and bureaucratic garbage that Gray had just tuned out, walking a few steps behind the lavender pegacorn so as not to get lost until they were finally at the train and saying their goodbyes. Well the ponies were anyway, Gray just gave an awkward wave, not used to this much attention.

When he had gotten aboard the carriage designated for royalty and guests, the bartender had given him a look of mixed disgust and horror as he gulped down a mouthful of potion straight from the bottle. The bottle was quickly wrenched from his hands and emptied into a cocktail shaker along with a scoop of ice. After a bit of shaking and spinning the contents were poured into a large cocktail glass, umbrella and a slice of pineapple were added at which point the drink was levitated back over to Gray, a look of smug pride smeared across the bartenders face.

Taking the glass out of the air Gray went to down the rest of his potion so he wouldn't feel so sore. Just before he could throw it back though, he heard another distinct cough. Looking up to see who wanted his attention, his gaze met with that of the bartender again, another dirty look on his face. Heaving out a great sigh Gray took a delicate sip of his drink, giving the bartender a look that seemed to say 'Are you happy now?'. The bartender gave a content nod and went back to whatever he was doing before Gray had come in and inadvertently offended him.

That was the long and short of Gray's day. Finishing of the last few sips of his potion cocktail a thought occurred to Gray.

Where did that pegacorn go?

Not having seen Twilight for a while Gray began to think that maybe she hadn't got on the train after all. Maybe in his zombie stupor of boredom, he had gotten on the wrong train. Maybe she was- "So before we get to Ponyville, I think we should go over a few things." - sitting right behind him.

"So, first thing you will need to know is where you will be staying. Well, you will be staying with me but that's beside the point. I live in the Ponyville library, I know it's like a dream come true, getting to live in a library. This, by extension, means that you will be living at the library as well. Oooh! It will be like an extended slumber party... with an alien that I can study! Next you will need to know about my friends, first is-"

Does she ever close her mouth when she's excited? Well I'm sure she'll tire herself out eventually. I'll just grab a few Z's while she prattles on.

"Then there's Fluttershy. She takes care of sick and injured animals. I think you will get along great with her. She's kind and-"

***

Gray was awoken by the screeching of the trains wheels as it came to a stop. "Oh, we're here! Well I guess I will have to tell you about the Everfree Forest some other time then." said Twilight as she hopped from her chair with the grace of a ballerina. Gray on the other hand was far less refined, wiping the drool from his chin with his forearm and rolling off the chair, face first into the carpeted floor.

Now standing in front of the carriage door Gray was ready to go outside and stretch his legs "Now remember what I told you about Pinkie Pie. She means well but can go a bit... overboard when making a new friend." warned Twilight as she stood next to Gray.

Who's Pinkie Pie? Hmm maybe I should have listened. Ah well what the worst that could happen, I mean it's just a pon- Is that a cannon?

"Welcome to Ponyville!" and everything was colours.

Author's Note

How do people constantly think of something interesting to write in these Authors notes?

Also, I know they're called Alicorns but Gray doesn't know that.

Thanks again to Mixtrak for pre-reading and again, go check out his story Wings in the Forest. It's way better than this.

Chapter 6: What a Glorious Morning

Settling into Ponyville had been … problematic. Grey’s problems had varied, from being berated by one of Ms Sparkle’s friends for his ‘hideously bland outfit’, to brandishing his chainsaw at Twilight’s pet dragon when Grey mistook him for a monster.

Who owns a dragon anyway? And why call it Spike? Its spines are rounded.

Not to mention Twilight’s constant experiments upon him. They weren’t harmful in any way but they were slightly annoying. Just the other day she had wanted to see how much stamina Grey had. She had set up a conveyer belt she called a ‘Treadmill’ and asked him to run on it until he needed to rest. To her surprise though, Grey just kept going and going. Clad in armour he ran until Twilight fell asleep for the night. When she awoke in the morning Grey had nodded off to sleep as well, his legs still propelling him forward strangely in some form of sleep sprinting.

Apart from those odd problems however, the transition into life in Ponyville had been rather smooth. He had fashioned himself a small bed on one of the library shelves after deciding it would be ungentlemanly to sleep in the same room as Ms Sparkle. It may not have been as comfortable as his well-worn bunk back in the castle, but by the makers if that pillow isn’t soft. He had found and raided a large box of children’s picture books. Intent on teaching himself to read and write even if he was too embarrassed to admit it to Twilight and Spike, both of whom seemed to take great pride in their writing abilities.

Finding himself a week into his stay at Ponyville, Grey was resting in the rafters of the library, Twilight sitting at a desk within easy view of him. She was writing in a large blank tome, occasionally looking up at the Crasher before returning to her writing. This went on for the better half of the morning before Twilight decided to break the silence.

“You know Grey, apart from my close friends you haven’t met many ponies yet have you? Even then you only met my friends
once and were disoriented from having Pinkies cannon go off in your face.” Twilight queried as Grey turned his gaze to the lavender pony. “Maybe you should spend more time outside meeting everypony, not cooped up here. It is the weekend after all.”

Just as she finished speaking Spike burst out laughing “HE should spend more time outside with other ponies? You’re not exactly the biggest socialite yourself Twilight.” Spike exclaimed between bouts of laughter.

Twilight scrunched her nose. “I am a Princess now and have important duties to attend to.” She replied defensively.

Spike just continued to laugh “*pfff* Yeah because reading ’50 Manes of Grey’ is really important.”

Hmm. Maybe I have been spending too much time in this place.

“I do more than just read!” Twilight yelled at the baby dragon who was now rolling on the floor, clutching his sides.

Some time away from these two couldn't hurt either.

Rolling sideways off the rafter, Grey landed with a solid thunk as his boots made contact with the floor. Walking away from Twilight and Spike, Grey brushed the dust from his tabard as he reached for the door knob and let himself outside.

Outside the sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud to be seen in the sky. Birds were chirping and all the ponies were trotting about with smiles upon their faces seemingly unfazed by the odd short creature that was Grey. It all seemed like something out of a fairy-tale; everything was just so seemingly perfect.

Well you’re outside. What now genius? You don’t know how to make friends. Well let’s take a page from Red’s book, ‘act like you belong and you will belong’.

With a plan in mind Grey set out to the park that he saw on his quick tour of Ponyville upon his arrival. Setting off at a brisk pace Grey waved and nodded with a smile at the ponies he passed on his short jog. A few of them gave him odd looks and one mint green pony openly gawked at him, but the majority of them simply returned his smile as he went past them.

Why didn’t I go outside before? Friendly faces, clear skies and no asinine experiments. I’m going to have to do this every day.

Grey finally slowed to a walk as he approached the bridge leading to the park. Stopping at the peak of the bridge he looked out over the park. Fillies and colts were playing, adults sat around on blankets gossiping and there were even two of the ponies that he first saw when he got to Ponyville. The light blue one, with a rainbow main and the bright orange one wearing some kind of hat, they seemed to be doing the pony equivalent of arm wrestling.

Well Grey, the world is your oyster. What are you going to do with it?

Author's Note

This is just a little intermediate chapter to both tell you that I'm still alive as well as test out my grammatical skills without getting it edited first. So if you see something wrong in this chapter feel free to point it out, or don't it's your choice.

Even though Mixtrak didn't edit this chapter I'm still going to thank him (because hey, he deserves it) and push his story Wings in the Forest because it's still a great story and you should really read it.

So yeah. Any questions I would prefer sent to me via a message so the comment section isn't getting too cluttered. Thanks for reading and hopefully I will get the next chapter out a bit faster than this one.

Chapter 7: Solid like a rock

Deciding to go play it safe by meeting up with the ponies he had already met, Gray headed over to the orange and blue ponies that were doing the pony equivalent to arm wrestling. Making his way across the park a few of the fillies and colts stopped playing their games to stare, oohing and aahing at the mystical creature that had decided to grace them with his presence. Not to be rude, Gray smiled and waved at the children as he wandered past them, chuckling to himself as the smiles on their faces increased tenfold.

Having almost reached the orange and blue duo, Gray turned his attention back to them, waving a greeting to them. The orange one returned the wave, basking in her latest hoof wrestle victory as the blue one seemed to sulk at the loss.

“Howdy there partner. Its good ta see you again. You looked like yah took a pretty nasty blow from Pinkies party cannon when we first met, so ah think we owe ya a do over on tha introductions. Ah’m Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres,” said the orange pony motioning to her barrel with a hoof, “and this here sourpuss is Rainbow Dash, biggest sulk in Equestria.” She added with a smirk and wave of her hoof.

“That’s, fastest flyer in Equestria, thank you very much. Also, I don’t sulk,” retorted the blue one as she turned to face Gray, “Hmm. You’re shorter than I remember.”

“Rainbow Dash!” scolded Applejack.

“Well he i!.” Rainbow Dash cried in her defence. While it was true Gray was shorter than most of the adult ponies, he didn’t think it was by a significant margin however, “Anyway, what are you doing here short stuff?” she added, getting a slight glare from Applejack at the continued mention of Gray’s height, or lack thereof.

Gray just shrugged. He still didn’t honestly know what it was that he wanted to do yet; he was just making up stuff as he went along.

Maybe the Four rubbed off on me more than I thought.

Taking the initiative Gray pointed to the two of them and then propped his arm on the table they had been using to hoof wrestle on, if he was going to make any friends he was going to need to be involved in as many activities as he could. To Gray’s surprise however, instead of accepting the challenge Applejack tried to cover up a small chuckle while Rainbow Dash was far less subtle and just burst out laughing.

“That’s rich short stuff. You’re obviously no pushover, not everyone can just brush off a blast from Pinkie’s party cannon, but you still shouldn’t push your luck. I mean you verse us? Come on!” laughed Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah, no offense partner but ah doubt ya would last long against either of us” Applejack added, still trying to hide her chuckling.

Gray did not take offense but neither did he rescind his challenge. He simple moved his arm forward and put on his most sinister smirk. While he may not have been as wise as Blue, as agile as Green, as … unpredictable as Orange and nowhere near as strong as Red, he could outlast them all when it came to stamina.

Both the ponies exchanged confused looks, obviously having expected Gray to forfeit the challenge. Applejack was the first to react, putting her hoof on the table, “Okay partner, but don’t say ah didn’t warn ya.”

Wrapping his fingers around her hoof Gray waited for the customary 3 knock countdown. What he got however was Rainbow Dash Counting backwards from three. Different from the way Crashers did it, but more logical considering these ponies had a proper grasp on speech.

“3! 2! 1! Go!”

Instead of a barrage of force like most arm wrestlers Gray dealt when the game began all he got was a firm push making sure to keep his arm at an equal position to Applejack’s hoof.

Hold at stalemate and then go in for the kill once they begin to tire. Clever girl.

The game went on for a good few minutes, Gray giving a few false openings to tire her out faster when she tried to finish him off. Rainbow Dash was growing inpatient, flying small circles around the two of them, “Would you just beat him already Applejack? This is getting reeeeaaaally boring.”

Ignoring Rainbow Dash, Applejack’s strength was starting to waiver. Seeing his opportunity Gray slowly began to put more effort into his push and slowly but surely Applejacks hoof began to go the opposite direction. Holding just above the table for a few seconds, Applejack tried to make a comeback before having her hoof pushed all the way down with a solid thunk as it hit the table.

A victorious grin spread across Gray face as Applejack looked between him and her hoof in disbelief. It took her a few seconds to regain her faculties, “Well partner, ah suppose ah owe ya an apology. You’re stronger than ya look.”

“Yeah right! You just went easy on him. I’ll show you how it’s done” Interrupted Rainbow Dash, shoving Applejack unceremoniously to the side. Propping her hoof on the table as she waited for Gray accept her challenge.

Taking a second to shake his arm loose again, Gray looked up at the Rainbow maned pony sitting in front of him. A smug smile graced her features, as though she thought she had already won their little competition.

Well, confidence is necessary in any competitive circumstance. Underestimating your opponent however, will just end badly.

As Gray grasped her hoof with his hand, Rainbow Dash spoke up before Applejack could start the countdown, “How about we make this a little more interesting? Looser buys the winner lunch.”

“Dash!” Interrupted Applejack in a stern voice, an unimpressed scowl pointed towards her multi-coloured friend.

“Oh come on! He’s a knight, just look at his armor. He’s got to have enough cash for lunch at the least. Right?” Rainbow Dash replied, turning a questioning look toward Gray.

Reaching into his pocket, Gray rummaged around for a bit. While it was true that his pockets were lined with gold, the large majority of that belonged to The 4. While things like sandwiches and potions were free game within in the group, he would be damned if he spent a single gold coin that didn’t belong to him.

Continuing his rummaging he found his small stash of treasure, it’s never easy saving money when you were the only one who ever remembered to restock the group’s inventory. Pulling out a purple gem, he looked inquisitively to the two ponies, wondering if it would have any value in this world.

The incredulous look that Applejack was wearing was enough answer for him. “See? I was right again” Said Rainbow Dash in a smug tone, “Now are you going to count us in or what?”

Sighing dejectedly Applejack shook her head and began the count down, “3! 2! 1! Go!”

As soon as the word left Applejack’s mouth, Gray felt as though he was about to be flung sideways off the bench. Rainbow Dash obviously wasn’t playing for the long game, hoping to knock him out early on before she began to tire. Much to Gray’s dismay as well, it was working, his hand inching its way toward the table.

Thank the makers Applejack didn’t do this, else I might have been dealt a broken arm.

Copious amounts of sweat began to drip down his face as he put all his might behind his arm, eyes almost bugging out of his head. While this strange display may have caused Applejack to fret slightly, concerned Gray was about to pop a blood vessel, Rainbow Dash showed no hesitation as she continued to force the Crasher’s arm backward.

It wasn’t long before the inevitable happened and Gray’s arm was pushed onto the table. As soon as it was Rainbow Dash leaped into the air having her own little mock victory celebration, shaking her hooves and bowing to an imaginary crowd.

“Ah don’t let it get to ya partner. Rainbow does that all the time” Consoled Applejack, slapping him on the back “’Sides, ya still beat me and that’s nothin’ ta sniff at.”

Gray rubbed his arm, sending an appreciative smile towards Applejack.

I guess you can’t win them all tough guy.

After a few more seconds of self-congratulation, Rainbow Dash finally came down. “Now, I think you owe me lunch short stuff” She said, grin splitting her face from ear to ear.

It would be nicer if I did win them all.

Author's Note

Hey look I'm still alive... how long has it been? Ah well such is life. I hope you've all been well, and I would like to thank you for the patience you've had with me.

Thanks to Mixtrak for pre-reading and again and hey, maybe you should go check out his story Wings in the Forest.