“What’cha drawing?”

I looked up from my paper and at the little filly next to me. Her eyes were wide with curiosity. I looked from her, to the paper, and back at her before answering. “I’m, uh. I’m drawing some ponies I used to know.” Lilac giggled and put a hoof to her mouth. I let out an uneasy chuckle. “What’s so funny?”

“Those are ponies?” She asked from behind her hoof.

“Yeah…”

“Oooh.” Lilac giggled again as she stared down at the drawing.

I propped my head up on my right hoof and looked at her crossly. “And just what is that supposed to mean?”

Lilac looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. They were cute, but not convincing. “What?”

“You know what.” I tapped the paper with my other hoof. “What’s wrong with my ponies?”

Lilac looked down at the paper and snorted as she tried to hold in her laughter. “They look like clouds.”

I rolled my eyes. “Everypony’s a critic.” Seriously though, Lilac had gotten really sharp since I’d met her. Sure, she was only seven years old, but still. I guess what I’m saying is that, compared to some of the other foals I’d seen in the orphanage, Lilac was a genius. Or maybe I’m just biased.

Or maybe I just suck at art.

I looked out the window of my room. “Isn’t it a little early for you to be up?” I turned back to look at her. “It can’t be past eight.”

Lilac shrugged. “I guess. Mommy said she wanted to go outside, but she wouldn’t lemme go with her.”

I sighed and looked back at Lilac. “You haven’t been bugging her about going into the forest again, have you?”

“Only a little!”

“Lilac, you really shouldn’t do that.” I put my hoof over her and pulled her under my blanket, where it was warm. Okay, it was no fire, but it was certainly warmer than just standing in the middle of the cold room. “I know it was fun going into the forest and all, Lilac, but you have to understand that I shouldn’t have taken you out there. Besides, it was like three weeks ago, aren’t you even a tiny bit disinterested?”

Lilac raised an eyebrow while I resisted the urge to face-hoof. “What I mean is, doesn’t the forest seem a little boring to you now?”

Lilac’s eyes went even wider. “No way! The forest was cool!” She tilted her head. “And why was it bad for us to go? It was jus’ trees!” She wrinkled her nose. “And the spider wets.”

Curse her for being so cute.

“I think you mean ‘webs’, squirt.” I sighed. “And the reason it was bad is because your mom loves you and doesn’t want you to get hurt. The forest may look like just a bunch of trees, but it’s dangerous, Li.”

Lilac looked thoughtful as she pronounced the word as best as she could. “D-dangerous”

“That’s right. Lots of bad stuff in the forest.”

Lilac was silent for a moment before looking back at me, her blue eyes filled with defiance. “I’m not scared of the bad forest stuff!”

Oh, for Celestia’s sake. This filly wasn’t gonna give up. Not like I could blame her or anything, if anything I was on her side. It really had been more than three weeks since our little venture into the forest and Jade hadn’t even let Lilac step outside for more than a minute, if that. I could understand Jade’s side of it, I really could, but Lilac had to grow up some time.

I levitated my pencil and pointed it at her. “Here, let’s see you do better.”

Lilac giggled and snatched the pencil in her mouth. “Fine, I will!”, I think is what she meant to say, but with a piece of wood in her mouth, it sounded more like “Fnn, ah wul.”

While the filly doodled on the back of my drawing, I figured it was finally time to get up. I slid out from under the blanket and stood slowly, wincing at all the pops and cracks I heard. Sleeping on a wooden floor can really mess up your back, it turns out. Fortunately, and unfortunately, the cots in the orphanage were not unlike the floor of the apartment building, so I was used to it. Seriously, the beds in the orphanage sucked. They were bunk beds made for little kids. If you think that might not sound so bad, try growing up in the same bed. Being a couple of heads taller than the ones those beds were made for really made for some epic back problems that will probably decide to show up when I'm in my forties.

That’s not to say that the staff hadn’t been trying to make us comfortable, they really were. It was hard being outnumbered by children. Trust me. From age three to seventeen, I remained while others left with their new families. I was almost like the axis. In the ever-changing environment, I was the only thing that stayed the same. I watched a lot of foals grow up and leave, I watched a lot come in one day and be gone the next. I think that by the time I was too old to be there, I was the only one above the age of nine. Weird, huh? It’s almost like it was my territory. I never left, never saw a reason to. Where would I go? Home? Home didn’t exist.
Anyway, the point is that the staff tried their hardest to help us. You would think, in a rich city like Canterlot, that buildings filled with kids would be pretty cool, right? Like a luxury hotel? Nope. I’m not at all familiar or interested in politics, but the basic understanding I have is that the government can only fund so many places, and unfortunately orphanages weren’t a top priority.

“Lilac?” I looked up at a panicked voice coming from the hallway, just in time to see a white blur fly past my room, only to backtrack. “Sparkler, have you seen— Lilac!”

I rolled my eyes as Jade hurriedly made her way to Lilac, who was still nuzzled under the blanket and sketching away.

“She’s fine, Jade.” I watched as Jade scooped up the filly in her hooves and hugged her to her body tightly.

I heard a muffled cry for help as Lilac was shoved into her mother’s pink-and-blue mane. “Mommy, stop!”

Jade sighed and held Lilac back, watching unamused as her daughter spat out strands of hair. “Sorry, honey. It’s just I didn’t know where you’d gone, and I got scared.”

“She’s been in here with me, Jade,” I said as I blew a stray piece of mane away from my eyes.

Jade narrowed her eyes. “Good. Better than being in the forest, I suppose.” The fire in her eyes lingered for a small moment before disappearing completely as she put Lilac down. “I’m sorry—”

I put up a hoof. “It’s fine,” I said cooly. Jade’s remark had stung a bit, I’ll admit. Did she really think that I would ever let something happen to her little girl?

Jade glanced away from me and back down at Lilac, who had gone back to drawing. “Oh!” She said as she picked up the paper. She examined it closely before turning it over. “Did you draw this one too, honey? I love the little clouds.”

Lilac stifled a giggle while I groaned inwardly. “Mommy, that’s Spark-a-ler’s drawing.”

Jade looked at me and blinked slowly before looking back at the paper with a grin. “Oh?” She snickered. “Well, your clouds are lovely, Sparkler.”

“They’re ponies.” I deadpanned.

And then they lost it.

“I’m glad today is Auto’s day to go out.” Jade said as she stretched out on the floor. I smiled and stretched out beside her. Warm sunlight had been filtering in through the window all day, and the spot on the floor felt absolutely marvelous.

The amount of joy in Jade’s voice as she’d spoke bothered me, though. I glanced at Jade. “So, you don’t like Auto then?” I’ll admit, I was a bit wary of Auto when I first arrived too. An inexperienced teenager up against a tough earth stallion? Yeah, I can just imagine how that would have turned out had Auto posed a real threat.
Jade frowned and rolled onto her back, crossing her forelegs and resting them on her stomach. I shuffled my hooves nervously. “Sorry. It’s just that you’ve been here with us for a while now, and… You know what? Nevermind, I shouldn’t have asked,” I stuttered

“No, it’s okay.” She looked at me with a small smile and sighed as she looked back toward the wall. “It’s not Auto in particular, it’s… well… stallions.”

So my first impression of her was right. Jade didn’t trust stallions. “Why?”

The white Pegasus was quiet for a long moment, her emerald eyes filled with memories and dread. “I was seventeen,” she began, looking over at me. “About your age. I had a huge test to study for the next day, so my best friend invited me over to her house to study.” She giggled and shrugged with a blush. “Okay, I kind of invited myself over. I guess you could say I had quite the crush on her.”

I smiled, encouraging her to go on. “Anyway,” she continued. “After we finished studying, her dad offered to walk me home. I declined,” her smile faded, along with mine, and she swallowed. “I guess I really shouldn’t have. I was about halfway home when I was grabbed.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “This gross, disgusting stallion wrapped his hoof around my mouth and told me that if I screamed, it’d be the end of me.” Jade let out a dry, humorless laugh. “I can still remember the stench of his breath and how cold his eyes were.” Her gaze turned misty. “I was so weak, so stupid. I didn’t fight back, of course. He dragged me into an alleyway, and…” Jade’s voice faded into a quiet, shaky breath.

I put a hoof on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Jade. You don’t have to tell me about that.”

Jade stared at me for a few seconds before swallowing and nodding her head slowly. “Well, he threatened to kill my family if I told anypony.” She laughed again. “How naive of me to believe him. A stranger knew my family? Knew where I lived, knew who I was? The ridiculous mind of a sheltered teenager, I suppose.

“About two months later, I noticed I was gaining weight, my hoofsteps were getting slower, I was sick all the time. I honestly thought it was just depression. My parents took me to the doctor and, lo and behold…” She gestured to the left. I looked over her to see Lilac curled up, her nose tucked under tail, fast asleep.

I looked back at Jade. “No…”

Jade sighed and nodded. “My parents were furious. I told them I was raped, but they wouldn’t hear a word of it. They kicked me out, saying that their family had no room for mares who couldn’t keep their tail down.” Her green eyes were suddenly filled with fiery rage. “I went to my best friend’s house, but she sent me away too. She said she wanted to take me in, but her parents decided otherwise; they told me that having me in their house would ‘influence her’. I tried to see her again, but there was just no way. Every time I got close she would send me away after just a few minutes, for fear of her parents catching us.”

I winced at that. I’d never fallen in love before, never had a crush, but just the heartbreak in Jade’s eyes made me glad I hadn’t.

“I didn’t even bother with my parents again. They were high-class, known through Equestria. Having a teen mother in the family would have ruined their reputation. We wouldn’t have wanted that now, would we? I had originally planned to abort the baby, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to be responsible for the death of an innocent foal.

“I got a job and an apartment, and for awhile things were good. I thought I would be okay. Until Lilac came along.” She put a hoof to her forehead and slid it down her face slowly. “Such a terrible thing for a mother to say. I was gonna give her up for adoption, but just one look at that face and I just couldn’t. I know that sounds selfish of me, if I had done that, Lilac would have an actual home right now.”

“I don’t blame you, Jade.” I glanced back at Lilac. “And I’m sure she doesn’t either. And besides,” I swallowed. “There’s no guarantee of adoption.”

Jade raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing of it. Instead, she continued. “Money kept getting tighter and tighter, and my boss was out of sympathy. It was impossible for me to pay rent, buy food, and pay the daycare center to watch Lilac, having no friends who would do it for free. It was too much. I lost the apartment and my job. By then, nearly everypony I’d known knew about Lilac and wouldn’t let me stay with them for more than a night. And after what happened, there was no way I was living with strangers.”

I nodded. “That’s why you didn’t go to a shelter.” I frowned and blinked slowly. “And why you don’t trust stallions.”

Jade nodded solemnly. “I know it’s wretched of me to think that way. Not all stallions are so horrible, I know. It’s just, I can’t look at one without… without seeing—” I reached a hoof forward and laid it gently on her shoulder to stop her from continuing down that path. She put her hoof over mine with an appreciative grin.

“It’s okay, Jade,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Jade’s grin faded as she stared at the ceiling once more. “I was tired, Sparkler.” she said slowly. “I just wanted something stable. I even thought about robbing a store so I could get put in jail. At least they have beds. But… that would have meant losing Lilac. I might have actually done it, though, if I hadn’t found this place.” A tiny tear trickled down Jade’s cheek and she laughed, turning her head to look at me. “From anypony else’s perspective, this place is a piece of crap. And while it most certainly is that, it’s also more.”

I looked around the room, at the chipping paint and at the loose floorboards I lay upon. I smiled and rested my head on my hooves, looking at Jade again, who seemed to be lost in memories. Whether they were good or bad ones, I couldn’t tell.
Maybe Jade was right. Maybe home did exist.

One of the worst things about being broke is the lack of stuff to do. Lilac had a couple of old toys, and let me tell you, if I had to endure any more days of boredom, I probably would have stolen them from her. Don’t get me wrong, venturing out into the forest was fun, but there was a certain little filly who was just cunning and cute enough to convince me to take her along. I would have gone into the city, but… I’m not the most sociable of ponies, and honestly I would rather be bored than looked down upon by a bunch of snooty ponies with their noses in the clouds. Plus, with my money-method, it was probably best that I didn’t stick around the city. Crime is kind of illegal.

Anyway, with the lack of entertainment, I found myself doing something every other teenager despises: cleaning. I’m not saying I’m a clean-freak or anything, but there’s only so much that even I can handle. That’s one of the things I hated most about the orphanage. It was always so cluttered and messy. The staff tried to keep it clean and, even with my help, it just never worked out. Try letting loose thirty seven-year-olds in a house and keeping it clean. It’s just not possible.

Anyway, it’s not like there was much I could do. Sure, the place was a piece of crap, like Jade has said, but I didn’t have money to waste on cleaning supplies. So, I did what I could with my hooves and magic.

I didn’t know much about magic. I only knew the basics that the older unicorn staff at the orphanage had taught me. I knew how to levitate, and that was about it. Magic was tricky. Even though I was older, levitating objects still gave me a headache. When you don’t have the proper tutors, magic can be dangerous, both mentally and physically. Trust me, you don’t want to know about how many unicorn foals I’ve seen make themselves schizophrenic with a little pop of their horn. Okay, so it was only a couple of foals, but still, that’s a couple too many. So I stuck to the simple stuff.

Some say I’m paranoid, but I say I’m careful. The difference between the two may seem blurred, but it’s there.

I looked up from the corner I was clearing out at the sound of a pony squeezing into the lobby. Auto stumbled in carrying a bag that held what looked like three cans. I frowned as I approached him. “It’s almost sundown, and that’s all you could get?”

Auto spat the bag out of his mouth and glared at me. “Sorry, princess, but if you think you can do better, why didn’t you go out today?”

“Because I went out yesterday.” I retorted. I rolled my eyes. “We agreed to split the weekends. I go out on Fridays, you go Saturdays and Jade goes Sundays.” Auto turned his back on me as I spoke. I sighed, trying to calm myself down. “Sorry, I—”

“It’s fine, Sparkler.” He turned and looked at me. “We’re all a bit on edge lately.” He grabbed the bags in his mouth and continued toward the old lobby desk and set the bags down. “Won’t be long ‘til we have to start makin’ fires.”

I winced. “Isn’t it a little dangerous to have fires in a place full of hardwood floors?”

Auto shrugged. “That’s why we’re gonna rip up the floor.”

“What?”

Auto turned and gave me a look that made me rethink my intelligence. “Yes. Under the floorboards, there’s a concrete foundation. We’ll pull up all the wood in this room and use it as firewood.” Auto smirked at me. “Unless you’d like to subject poor little Lilac to the cold?”

I growled inwardly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What it means is that the two of you are becoming more and more alike everyday. Yesterday she said something so sarcastic it nearly blew my fur off!”

“Okay, and?”

“And, she’s never been sarcastic until she decided to spend most of her time with you. If it weren’t for your anatomical differences and current understanding, I’d say the two of you were sisters.”

Now that Auto had pointed it out, I was starting to see it. Lilac had been following me around quite a bit. Not only that, but her defiant nature from earlier was starting to make sense. Crap, I hope Lilac didn’t become like me in the future. I wouldn’t wish that on anypony.

No matter how much I hoped Auto would drop the subject, he continued on anyway. “Look, what I’m trying to say is this: don’t get too attached. Caring is what gets you hurt. No feelings, no worries. And in your situation, the last thing you need is to get attached.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Okay, okay. When can we start tearing up the floor?”

Auto grinned. “I reckon we can start tomorrow, if your fancy unicorn powers are up for it. You hardly ever use that thing,” he said, gesturing to my horn.

I glanced away with a frown. “I just don’t like using it that much.”

“Why?”

“It's more complicated than you think, Auto.”

“Either way, it’ll be easier to do with you around. You’ll be able rip it up faster than Jade or I will.”

Although I could see the logic in that, I still didn’t like it. Like I said before, using magic gave me headaches, and if I was gonna be using it all day tomorrow, then it looked like I was gonna be in a bit of pain. But, whatever.

“Where is Jade, anyway?” Auto asked, pulling me back to reality.

I glanced upstairs. “She went up to teach Lilac a few wing exercises.”

Auto grunted. “They ain’t gonna help her none. Little filly’s too young to be worryin’ about flyin’ just yet.”

Ignoring Auto’s helpful observation, I turned back to the corner and swept out what remnants of trash I could with my hoof and into the little pile I had going. I lit up my horn and levitated the pile out the window behind to my left.

Auto grunted, but said nothing as I stood up. I looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. “Care to elaborate on that, Auto?”

The brown stallion shrugged with a smirk. “Just never thought I’d see a teenager cleaning.”

I rolled my eyes as I approached him. “Yeah? Well, you won’t be seeing it again until we remodel this room tomor—” I stopped as a thought struck me. Tomorrow was Sunday. Starting a project on a Sunday was really weird. I mean, Sunday was Jade’s day to buy, yeah, but why start tomorrow when we all had to go out and do our own thing the next day? If we had started sooner, like on Friday, we could have been pretty far along with it, if not completely finished, by now.

“Why tomorrow?” I asked.

Auto shrugged.

Oh.

Sleeping is hard. I tossed and turned on the thin sheet beneath me, but all my thrashing did was give me a headache from banging my head into the floor. As I lay on my back, waiting for my head to stop throbbing, I thought about tomorrow. Just Auto and I, playing carpenter. Well, I’d be playing carpenter, Auto actually was one. Whatever, it would be awkward nonetheless. And I didn’t handle awkward situations well. Oh well. We’ll be working the entire time, it’s not like we’d have much time to chat. What would a teenager even say to someone like Auto? Sure, talking came easily when we were talking about topics that were already set in stone, like food or schedules. But the whole day, working together? Something tells me that the my go-to conversation topics would be pretty stale after the first hour. Maybe he wouldn’t even talk to me at all. I hope he’ll just direct me places and tell me what to do.

Please don’t take that out of context.

I blew out a slow breath, watching it billow out into the pale moonlight that filtered in through the window. The moon was just a barely-seen sliver in the sky, it wouldn’t be long before the room would be pitch black with the barest hint of stars.

I jumped at a loud thud and propped myself up on my hooves. I squinted into the darkness of the doorway, the fur on the back of my neck stood straight up. I swallowed and sucked in a breath. “He-hello?”

I breathed out a sigh of relief as a familiar pegasus shape floated slowly into view. “Celestia, Jade. You scared the poo out of me.”

Jade giggled as she stood at the doorway, her left forehoof crossed over her right. “You know, I’m not one to encourage teen swearing, but really, Sparkler? ‘Poo’?”

I flattened my ears against my head, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. “I just prefer not to curse.”

Jade smiled. “Could I come in?”

I sat, staring at her for a short moment, before gesturing for her to come in. “Yeah, why not? You look like an icicle over there.” I levitated the blanket off myself and draped it over her shoulders as she sat next to me. The pegasus' green eyes flashed for a heartbeat as she positioned the blanket to wrap around both of us. Having Jade’s warm body against mine plus the blanket almost made me forget how cold it was.

“Can’t sleep?” Jade whispered.

I grunted. “No, I was sleeping fabulously.”

Jade grinned. “Yeah, me neither.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “You’re in a peppy mood tonight.”

Jade looked at me, puzzled. “What’s wrong with peppy?”

“Nothing, it’s just that after earlier, I didn’t expect you to be so… y’know.”

Jade shook her head, her smile slowly fading. “Yeah, I guess I can see that. Sometimes I just get so happy for no reason. Like I feel invincible.” She shrugged and gave me a smirk. “I’m weird, huh?”

“Nah.” I waved the suggestion away with a lazy hoof. “In this world, you’re no weirder than I am.”

Jade chuckled. “You’re right. Maybe we’re not the weird ones, Sparkler.” Her green eyes glinted in the dim light of the room. “Maybe we’re the normal ones, surrounded by weirdos. Maybe we’re the ones living lives of luxury while the rest of the world suffers in their houses.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, Jade,” I said flatly. “Whoever decided that pillows were more comfortable than cinder blocks must have been out of their mind.”

Jade shrugged. “You never know, Sparkler. Everypony’s opinion differs. I recall a quote that I heard long ago...”

I leaned forward with a small grin. “Oh? And just what is this quote?”

Jade turned towards me. “‘I ain’t never met a fool who didn’t think himself as wise.’” Jade sighed and chuckled again. “We’re all fools, Sparkler. Every single one of us.”

Author's Note

Yup, I decided to go for chapter two. Sorry it was shorter than the last.

Once again, and big thanks to my ever-fabulous prereaders: Luminary and Chopsuey!