The List

by Jingle

Rating: mature
Tags: Random
Length: 664

Twilight Sparkle finds an interesting scroll in the Canterlot Archives.

Twilight Sparkle finds an interesting scroll in the Canterlot Archives. The scroll lists every pony who is living now's sexual status, along with their picture and all of their private information.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-08 14:30:51 UTC

Finding and Claiming

"Thank you Princess Celestia, it is a huge honor to read the most secret and heavily guarded scrolls in all of Equsteria," Twilight Sparkle exclaimed, entering the Canterlot Archives.

"It is no problem at all," Princess Celestia said. "I will leave you to your studies." Princess Celestia left Twilight Sparkle and the key in the archives.

Twilight clapped her hooves together excitedly. She looked around the secret room with awe, only the very most important ponies were ever allowed in the upper levels of the Canterlot Archives. She grabbed every scroll of the shelves with her magic, lining them for her to decide upon. For each scroll, Twilight Sparkle decided if she wanted to read it, if so, she placed it in a pile to be read later, if not, it went back on the shelves. Twilight read the title of the last scroll aloud, finding it peculiar, "Sexual Status."

That being the last scroll, Twilight decided to read that one now. It began with a small introduction paragraph on sex. Though detailed and graphic, Twilight already knew all of the information in the paragraph. Twilight had seriously studied sex for two reasons, one is so that she could have the best chance of a healthy foal when her and her husband, Thunderlane, were ready. The other reason being so that she could have a better understanding of the topic after Shinning Armor announced that Cadence was pregnant. Clearing her thoughts, Twilight Sparkle read through the whole scroll, finding that it wasn't an educational writing at all. The scroll contained a list, having the name of every living pony on it. Beside each ponies name was their picture and two small boxes. One box consisted of private information, such as their address and contact information, the other box contained a color, matching with a key at the top. The key said that green meant the pony had never had sex, purple meant the pony had been exposed to light sexual activity, blue meant the pony had been exposed to heavy, complete sex, and the pink meant the pony was pregnant.

Though against her better judgement, Twilight Sparkle immediately looked up herself, Thunderlane, and all her friends. Next to the name Twilight Sparkle, she had found a green box and let out a sigh of relief, finding nothing wrong with the list. Thunderlane's box was purple, but Twilight didn't mind, she was sure he was just having some fun with the fillies in school. Her friends however, had very mixed results. Rarity had a green box, not to Twilight's surprise, since Rarity didn't have a husband or a colt friend. Applejack had a blue box but no husband or colt friend.

"Dirty girl," Twilight muttered, not thinking Applejack would stoop to that level.

Continuing down the list, Pinkie Pie's box was unsurprisingly green. Rainbow Dashes box was purple, which didn't surprise Twilight. Pegasi have very tender spots in their wings. Often when preening, they could hit these spots, causing a flare of pleasure, much like sex. Twilight Sparkle's eyes fell upon Fluttershy's box, finding it blue. Though slightly shocked, Twilight understood because Fluttershy was married to Donut Joe, who could be quite the up front, daring pony.

Fascinated by this scroll, Twilight shoved it in her saddle bag to take back to Ponyville, along with all the other scrolls she wanted to read. Twilight Sparkle stole the key to the archives and sneaked out the back of the castle before galloping to catch the soonest train home. As the train arrived and slid to a smooth stop, Twilight was the first pony on, walking quickly to the back of the train to read her scrolls in peace. Hearing the train begin to roll towards Ponyville gave Twilight some much needed relief. Twilight had never stolen a thing in her life and she had just taken over twenty scrolls and the key to the most highly guarded section of the Canterlot archives.