Day two hundred and five thousand, four hundred and eight. Wait, was it eight? Perhaps it was only seven. No, because one hundred and three days ago was the Sunlight Summer Celebration, so of course it's eight. But did I carry the one? If one hundred minus six... Carry the four...
Oh, whatever; it's day. Another day. I sure do wonder how this will go. Let me just see what the crystal ball is saying. Watching ponies and eavesdropping? And here I thought a trip to the circus was on the schedule. No, honestly, I'm surprised. It's not like I've been doing this for two hundred and five thous- ... A long time. A long... long time.
I wonder if they'll ever let me out. Granted, they didn't really specify the length of my stay, but a general idea would have been nice. I mean, for goodness sake, the ugly goat man got out already. It's not like he's been very nice at all. Why does he get to stretch his legs while I have to stand around like a statue? ... Heh, I made a pun. I should write that one down. IF ONLY I -
Oh, hey, it's that crazy pink one. What was her name again? Something with P? Ponk? No, there was an I in there somewhere... Pinka? Yes, that's it! Pinka! She's nice. It's nice when she lets me wear party hats as well. Summer Sun Celebration is going to be fun this year! I hope the one who drinks too much makes a fool of herself again. How she has any friends is beyond me. And how did she manage to seduce that stallion? She was swaying more than a tree in a storm. Ponies these days.
Wait, why is Pinka climbing that tree? I know she isn't exactly normal, but trees? You're an adult! Tree-climbing is for little fillies! Get down from that branch! You could get hurt! ... Maybe she's pretending to be a bird? That would be nice. Flying must be so much fun. The rainbow mare is really good at it. She sure can pull off some spectacular moves. Though watching her practice would a bit easier if somepony didn't turn me to DAMN STONE!
All right, all right, I'm calm. I'm cool. No anger; just smiles. Pinka is in the tree, and that's silly. I should laugh at that, right? Haha! ... No, I shouldn't. It's just a pony in a tree. Lots of ponies have been in trees before. Haven't they? Did I ever even climb a tree? Surely I must have. What filly hasn't climbed into a tree? Yes, I'm sure I did. At least once or twice. Somepony should levitate me into a tree. Maybe if I try really hard, I can plant my thoughts in some unicorn's brain? Yes, yes! What a splendid idea! All right, here I -
Holy moly! She just jumped! What are you doing, Pinka?! You're too young! You have so much to live for! Like waiting for ponies to clean the bird poop from your hair, or someone to polish your granite coat! THERE'S STILL SO MUCH TO- Oh. Oooh. Ouch. Poor rainbow mare. She never saw it coming. Well, Pinka is laughing, so that's... good. Is that supposed to be a prank? That's not very clever, now, is it? Jumping from a tree onto a friend? She could at least have dressed up as a giant spider or something. Now THAT would have been scary! Tsk, tsk, and to think I considered her good at pranking.
At least the- Wasn't her name actually Rainbow? Yeah, yeah it was. At least Rainbow is laughing too. How does she not have a concussion, though? NONE of her ribs broke? I swear, if that was me jumping from the tree, ten royal guards would have already surrounded me and charging me with treason. Filthy, dirty, corrupt royal- ... Never mind. Point is Rainbow should be on her way to the hospital right now.
Wait, where are they going? Come on! Come back! YOU WERE MY ONLY ENTERTAINMENT! Hey, is that a bunny? Ohh, it's adorable! Look at how cute it is! I wish my tail was that fluffy. Do bunnies groom their tails? Surely they couldn't; they're just bunnies. Hang on, is it mad? It looks mad. What kind of bunny is this? Ungrateful little bastard! You get to walk around, and smell stuff, and breathe, and eat food! Food! Hmph! Some creatures don't understand how lucky they are.
Fluttershy! Oh, oh, Fluttershy! Over here! It's me! Your old pal! No, don't run after the bunny! No, no, no! Come back! Screw the bunny! Come over here and talk to me again! Flutter-! ... Fine. Go chase that dumb little critter, see if I care. It's not like you're the only pony around here who shows a little compassion. Yeah, you know what? I'm not even angry. Who needs ponies to pay attention to you anyway? Certainly not me! I don't need anyone! I'm doing just fine on my own, thank you very much.
"Now, this is a very important statue, everypony."
What's this? A school class? Wait, are they talking about me? Oh, gosh, is my mane messy? My eyes aren't closed, are they? ... What am I talking about? Ugh, sometimes I wonder if passing fourth grade was an accident or not. I blame my bad genes. It's not my fault Dad was dumb as a rock... Okay, I take that back. Dumb as a... bird. Yes, that's better. Birds are pretty stupid. They fly into windows all the time. I mean, who honestly doesn't spot a window?
"Legend has it, that this mare lived hundreds of years ago, and that she aided the gryphons in their war against ponies. Some say she was a spy, and others say she was innocent. Not much is known about her, but one thing is for sure: Celestia didn't think she was innocent in the slightest."
That is not true at all! I did not spy on anyone! They just paid me some money for talking to them! Talking is not a crime. I don't care who says it is, but they are stupid for thinking that. 'Oh, Celestia! Somepony is talking! We should arrest her! Oh, no! I am talking as well! Arrest me, too! And everypony else!' Seriously. What's wrong with talking? They just wanted to know about Ponyville. It's a nice place. Look at it. How could you NOT want to know more about it? Sure, patrol routes is kind of an odd subject, but gryphons are odd. Wait, is that racist? I like gryphons, so it can't be. They're just a bit odd, that's all.
"Nopony knows, Scootaloo. It's all just stories. For all we know, it could just be a statue of somepony's marefriend. But that's what makes it so important; it's a statue nopony knows much about. Yet it's been here for a long time. Perhaps we should go ask Twilight about it?"
They don't... know me? None of them? But... they all talked about me. For years. How could they just forget? Did nopony ever write anything down? No, no. They couldn't have forgotten. Maybe they just didn't read the book yet. It's probably pretty rare. Yeah, that's it. A book that old is probably a national treasure. Ponies would pay good bits to see something like that. Perhaps some of them even tried to steal it! Oh, that would be exciting, wouldn't it? A real chase through Canterlot, with magic being flung around in the air. Kabooms and zaps! Pews and pangs! Heh, yeah. I'm sure that's how it is.
Where did they all go? Did they already leave? I guess looking at a statue isn't that exciting. Still, they could have said goodbye. They could at least have said something. Anything, really. Fifty years ago they would have made fun of my mane, at least. Just like Bernard did. Oh, Bernard... You had the prettiest beak in all of Equestria. I don't care what the others said, it was a darn pretty beak. Those feathers were so smooth and warm, too. Better than a blanket, really. If anyone's listening, please give me just five more minutes snuggled into them. I'll trade you my left hind leg.
Okay, come on, Acqua. Everything is fine. It's just another day. What's another day in thousands? Patience is a virtue. At least it's nice and warm in here. Not as warm as his feathers, but it's almost as good. Plenty of time to think, too. Stretching my legs would be nice, but I guess beggars can't be choosers. A lot of things would be nice, actually. Like milkshakes. Anything involving not being stone, really. But it's not so bad. Ponies are still fun to watch. They're good entertainment.
So I guess they aren't coming back then? That's fine. They're probably pretty busy. Maybe there's a play on or something. Perhaps they brought back 'The Scaredy-Mare'? That was a classic. It would be a shame if they forgot about that, too. Once I'm out of here, I'm going to find out. That'll be the first thing I do. Right after eating, of course. I wonder if I'll even be hungry. I really hope I won't; I don't have the bits to pay for thousands of days worth of food.
Maybe tomorrow will be the day. Yeah, it will. Tomorrow, Celestia is going to come here and free me. I won't be mad at her, either. Okay, maybe a little. Okay, a lot. But she will understand. I won't shout at her, though. That would be rude. I'll respectfully tell her that she's a bastard. How will she respond, though? Laughter? No, no, Celestia doesn't laugh much. She'll be all serene and stuff. All right, so tomorrow she'll come right up to me, apologise, and then free me. Oh, I can barely wait! Walking around again is going to be awesome!
I wonder if I'll even know how to walk again. Would my legs even work after all this time? Surely they would. My brain works fine. Just fine. Worst case scenario, I can always lay down on the ground and call for help. Wait, no, I wouldn't even need to. If Celestia frees me, she'll be right here, and she'll help me if there are any problems. She would help me, right? Of course she would, otherwise she simply wouldn't free me. And she will. That much I know.
Seriously, where are all the ponies at? There's usually so many of them around. This is Ponyville for goodness sake. Nothing ever happens here. It's the most quiet and quaint town in Equestria. You'd think there'd be at least someone out for a walk or bird-watching or something. All right, Celestia, tell you what. I'll trade you both my mane and tail if you just come and free me now. I know, I know, you weren't planning on that today, but hear me out. There's nothing going on here. I'm literally just staring at the same spot as always, and it's boring. Please. Watching an image, no matter how beautiful, is going to get unbearable after a while.
No? Whatever. Fine. Have it your way. Royal duties and schedules, yada yada. I get it. Equestria as a whole is more important than a single pony. Needs of the many. Just... throw me a bone or something. Not a literal one. Actually, toss me a levitating book, would you? I'll have plenty of time to read it before you come free me tomorrow. I've heard talk of some adventurous pony called 'Daring' something. Please?
... You never listen to me, you know that? You never have, never did. Is it because you're a princess? Huh? Are you better than me? Just because you have a horn and some fancy wings? I'm sorry all of us can't be born into royalty and be a super rare species of pony. No, sure, it's fair. Of course you're better than I am. You did cast this spell on me, which I could never do. You win by default. I'm not angry. I'm not even jealous. In fact, I don't even care. Being a princess is probably really boring anyway. All that work and responsibility, pfft. Who wants something like that? Certainly not me. I haven't had to lift a hoof in all of my days here... Though I do appreciate you coming to free me tomorrow. Seriously, please just ignore everything I thought and focus on how happy I'll be if you free me.
Goodness me, is it already turning night? Huh, that was quick. Time sure does fly when you're having fun. So I guess this is when they all go to bed? I should go to bed too. Not literally, of course, but I should get some shut-eye. Wish I could, though. Nights are pretty boring. Stuff only happens on weekends. To be fair, they usually are a blast, though. Piggyback rides are pretty fun, and then there's the ones who sneak out here, thinking they're alone. That last stallion was a hunk. How that mare managed such a catch, I have no idea. I mean, he was at least an eight out of ten. Where did all the stallions go anyway? It's like someone decided all foals should just be fiilies. Maybe it's a population problem, and Celestia can manage this? What, no, that'd be absurd. Wouldn't it?
Well, whatever. Another day done. Two hundred and five thousand, four hundred and nine, here I come. I know you'll bring my freedom. This time, I'm certain. These butterflies in my stomach aren't here for laughs. Butterflies are serious business. I can't wait to be back. I wonder if I'll look old or not. It'd be nice to still be young. Well, I guess I would technically be old, but I wouldn't look like it. Where would I live, though? No bits means no house, and no house means living on the street. No, one step at a time. Wait for Celestia to come and free me tomorrow, then worry about all that other stuff.
Hey, Celestia? If you can hear me, by the way, I'm not that mad. I don't care anymore. I just want to walk around again, you know? It's not much I'm asking for. I know I made some mistakes, but don't we all? I swear I didn't know what I was doing. I was just a young mare. We all do some dumb things in our lives. Believe me, I've seen plenty of ponies do dumb things right here. If you could just, I dunno, give me a bit of leeway, I'd appreciate it.
Okay, I'll let you sleep now. Even you need to rest. Oh, sorry, I'll stop now. For real this time. I'll just be standing here, waiting for you to come by tomorrow. Promise you won't get mad if I shout a bit? Thanks. You're all right, I guess. Okay, okay, I'll quit it now. Get well rested for tomorrow.
Yep. Just standing here. Waiting. Badum badum. Winter wrap up, winter wrap up, nanana holiday cheer. I spy with my little eye... No wait, that game doesn't work when you're alone. I'll just meditate or something. It'll help pass the hours. Clear your mind and think of nothing. Become one with nature... Okay, this is too difficult. Oh, Celestia? Yeah, sorry, it's me again. I just remembered, when you come to free me tomorrow, could you maybe lend me some bits? I kind of don't have any. Just some for a meal or something. All right, thanks. I'm going now.
Two hundred and five thousand, four hundred and nine, here I come.
