My Little Porno: Fluffing Is Magic

I woke up in a hospital bed, it was an unfamiliar feeling. Considering the life I lived, you'd think more mornings would be spent waking up in big, white sterile, busy hospital with rows of beds spread out around the wide hallways that made up the buildings interior. This had only ever happened to me once before, when I was fiften, I tried choking myself with my dads belt whilst jerking off for the first time. I held the belt too tight and passed out, my mom thought I was trying to kill myself. I haven't thought of that in years, what was once a sombre memory becomes pretty fucking funny in retrospect.

My barely open eyes dart around the room, no one was there, not even her. Fuck. I try to get up, but I'm held down by all these wires and tubes. Shit, how long was I out for? This is bad, really bad. My ears perk up when I hear the door creak. It's her, thank Celestia, it's her.

"Oh, thank Celestia, you're okay!"

It's Creampie, she's here because she cared? Because she felt guilty? It doesn't matter right now, she's here, and that's all that matters. I try to talk, but I still feel too weak, all I manage to grunt out are harsh coughs and wheezy moans.

She walks over closer to me.

"The doctors said you had a panic attack, you left the apartment in such a hurry, I chased after you to make sure everything was alright but you'd collapsed just out the building."

I begin to get a little teary eyed over how pathetic I must seem, a fucking panic attack, shit, that really is fucking pathetic.

"Look, I'd love to stay, but Smutty just called, and I have to go to a shoot, but call me, when you get out. goodbye"

She plants a kiss on my forehead before leaving me alone with my thoughts, why did she have to do that? A doctor better get in here soon or I swear I'll-

Creeeeeeak

Perfect timing, here comes the doc.

"Well, mr Clops, It seems that you had a panic attack this morning."

I find my voice.

"Creampie already told me, just tell me what the treatment is so I can get outta here."

I think he's shocked with my bluntness. He regains his composure and gives it to me straight, just as i'd hoped.

"Very well, you'll need to undergo a phsyce evaluation to determine the cause of the attack, If it's clinical depression we can prescribe you mood altering medication, and suggest you begin talking to a therapist."

Short and sweet, nice. I nod and he leaves to get a nurse, I could swear I've been in this situation before. A, sexless, hour later and I find myself in the hospitals cafeteria, finally getting my hooves on that greasy ball of disgust called a burger I've been craving all day, if only I had a stiff drink to go with this, but no bar in sight, a warm soda will have to do.

After the burger, I head to meet with some shrink for the phsyce evaluation. We talk for awhile, but it's all pointless. Of course I'm fucking depressed that I can't get hard, what a waste of time, either way, they gave me some pills that they said should help, Prozac and a coupon with "Viagra" written on it, just so I didn't forget, how fucking patronizing.

I pick up the Prozac from the pharmacy in the hospital, I begin to examine the translucent orange bottle. "Side effects may include decreased sex drive, erectile dysfunction." Fuck, fucking fuck! I begin to take deep breaths as I squeeze the pill bottle in my hoof. No point getting myself all worked up over a little thing like that, just slow down. I start working things out in my head, would the Viagra counter balance the Prozac? Is it safe to take them both at the same time? Fuck,why did this have to happen?

I feel another panic attack coming on and quickly choke down couple of white and turqoise capsules. They go down rough so I head to a nearby bar to wake myself up. I sit at the bar, in plain sight of everypony. A few high school kids recongnise me, say they saw me in a tape they found under their dads bed, brings back memories, good memories. We take a picture, and I sign it, before going on to give them a few pointers on how to score. They run off and try to use their new skills on some mares in a booth, they crash and burn. I pay for my whiskey and slip out the door before the kids come back.

I begin to walk down the street when I feel the whiskey kick in, a nice warm feeling in the pit of my stomach as all of my problems seemingly disappear. I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Hey! Carl!"

And all of my problems come rushing back to me. I start shaking again as I turn around to see Smutty, and that's about the point where I blacked out.