The roar of the engine wasn't what she liked, nor was it the overtly sexy image of the hottest chick she knew, herself, straddling the old panhead: It was wave after wave of tantalizing vibrations that teased her body and sang in tune with her soul. Squeezing the bike between her thighs, a lustful grin covered her face. The engine roared, sending an electric tingle up her legs and jumping her wide hips to finally stoke the fire in her stomach. Racing down the rain-slicked road, the young woman laughed at her fortune. That fatass cop waiting out the storm under the bridge gave her one hell of a chase. Guy didn't have the stones to race the train. Throwing her head back, she let out a wicked laugh. Life was good.
Apparently, life doesn't take compliments well, and reality is a bitch. In the midst of her adrenaline rush, she barely spotted the deer as it stepped out from the tree line. The biker leaned in one fluid motion, turning the bike slightly. She missed the startled creature, smashing straight into the chrome grille of some country hick's idea of a dream truck.
For a brief moment, everything was brighter and more painful. Struggling, she tried to breathe, but the pain in her chest was overwhelming. Running her tongue over her teeth, all she could taste was a wet metallic flavor, like a mouthful of pennies. Her head was buzzing with a sound that reminded her of TV static. Looking up, she spotted some half-dead guy hovering over her. She could tell that the middle aged man, who she assumed was the truck's driver, was mouthing something. He looked in a bad way, with one arm held against his chest by the belt he was using as a makeshift sling. The steely-eyed fellow wore a grim expression as he kneeled down to get a closer look at the broken girl. He kept saying something. She couldn't make it out through the fog in her head and the growing sleepiness creeping into her body. Giving him a panicked grin, she closed her eyes, hoping, praying that this wasn't her last ride.
Waking up, all she could smell was antiseptic. It was so strong she could taste the vile shit. Clean was one thing, but the sterility of this air went against her principles. You can't get shit done in that kind of atmosphere. Inching her eyes open, she was assaulted by a wall of color. Not the obnoxiously bland colors of a hospital room, that would’ve been a mercy. The colors were vivid and painful. Just a glimpse felt like someone had injected her eyes with liquid Crayola crayon.
Squinting against the brightness, she rolled out of bed and wiped the sleep from her eyes. Looking around, the first thing she thought was, Somebody is fucking with me. Not only were the colors bright, the walls held an otherworldly softness. Smiling slightly, she giggled at the absurdity of the situation. The last thing she remembered was feeling like she was really sleepy and the stupid look the redneck wore as he looked down on her like she was dying.
"Sorry, dude. It’ll take more than a little motorcycle accident to kill me," she said half-heartedly.
The hospital gown fit badly, like they had given her the wrong size. It was tight across her breasts and shoulders, and dug uncomfortably into her armpits. And that was just how it felt, it looked worse. It was a pale pink. Pink! Pink could be cool, she reasoned, but pale pink wasn't just girly, it was downright disrespectful. She wasn't soft, and this shade of pink screamed I'm soft and I want to cuddle. Gagging at the thought, she got up to look for something better to wear.
Not getting far, she felt a tug at her arm. Following the little cord back to the source, she spotted a plethora of medical equipment. The only one that seemed to be on was the heart monitor. Looking at the display she watched the little line go up and down as it scrolled across the screen like little ocean waves. She found it difficult to return to her search with the monitor attached, so she ripped off the tape. Had she much hair on her arms it would have been painful enough to bring tears to her eyes. It did make her wince as it pulled on every hair in reach. Sucking on her tongue until the small pain faded, she remembered how much she hated being hospitalized. In response the heart monitor flatlined and let out a long low drone. I wish someone was here. I could have just scared the ever-living shit out of them and it would have been funny as hell to see.
Searching the tiny wardrobe and drawers, she found nothing but towels and pillows. The only other place to look was the corner room, which she assumed was the bathroom. Curiously, the bathroom was also scaled wrong. The shower’s controls were lower than a normal shower and the knobs looked almost idiot proof. The sink was also short. The worst thing was the toilet. Anna wasn't very tall, but even for her the toilet was squatty. She could imagine her legs falling asleep if she spent too much time on the diminutive thing. Thinking briefly about the scale of everything here, she returned to her bed.
A dull ache surfaced between her eyes. Flopping back on the bed, she let out a sigh. She would have to make do with the uncomfortable gown until she saw a nurse or something. Or better yet, her dad might swing by later and she could get him to bring her something more comfortable, assuming he wasn't picking her up to take her home. Her thought process was derailed when she heard a click from the door.
The door was illuminated in a soft red as it opened. A little horse walked in with a smile on his face.
The pony didn't say anything as he gave her a strange look. The young woman had covered her mouth with her hand and was looking a little red faced. She couldn't take it anymore as she burst into a fit of giggles.
"Whatever you’re giving me, I want a life time supply, because the cool colors are great and seeing my doctor as a horse is just too much," she said as she tried to catch her breath, "Ooo, I wonder what my dad would look like as a mini horse."
Giving her a flat look, the doctor said, "I’m not a horse. I’m a pony, and a unicorn pony at that."
"Oh, and he talks too. So what do I call you? Doctor Ed?"
Levitating the chart up, he looked over the paperwork and then looked back at the strange bipedal creature.
"Everything’s set and we’ll be discharging you as soon as we can have somepony from Special Services come by and get you something appropriate to wear. The hospital is well aware of how your kind likes to wear clothing," he said in a monotone.
Her face screwed up in confusion, "Special Services?"
"They are a state run program that helps ease misplaced humans into pony society. Oh, by the way, what is your name?" he asked.
"State run program?" she said rhetorically, "Like the VD clinic?"
The blue coated stallion's face took on a purple hue, "Like the VD clinic."
Nodding in understanding, she couldn’t help but bait the blushing pony, "So I'm not the only ‘misplaced’ human?" He makes it sound like I'm something in a lost and found bin, she thought.
"Yes, there have been more than a few humans who have found their way into Equestria."
A devious grin spread across her face. Leaping up from the bed, she waltzed over and placed her hands on the stallion’s face. Running her fingers across his cheeks, she noted how soft his coat was before moving on to his mane. His hot breath washed across her face. Backing up, she fanned her nose.
"If you’re going to eat onions, make sure you pack a breath mint," she said in disgust. The pony thing pinned his ears back at the insult. Raising a hoof, he let out a slow breath, fanning it up to his nose. His eyes watered at how rancid it actually smelled. I do need a breath mint, he thought.
Placing a hand on his withers, she leaned over to check out his stomach and sheath. Breaking from his own train of thought, the doctor felt a blush spread out from his face and onto his coat. She walked around him and brushed his tail aside to fully take in the specimen in front of her. The doctor had endured more than he could stand, which he made clear by pressing his tail against his body.
"Stop touching me," he said with a huff as he turned around to face her.
Giving him a wide grin, she said, "You’re the best animatronic creation I’ve seen. Even better than the dinosaur exhibit I saw when I was a kid. Your breath’s even warm and wet like a real animal. Are you one of Mike's toys?"
"Animatronic? Toy?" he asked in indignation.
"Yeah, as in robot pony?"
Sighing, he walked closer to her and captured her hand in his magic. She initially tried to pull against his telekinesis and after a few stubborn attempts at escape she gave in and allowed him to pull her hand up. He pressed her fingertips against his jugular vein and waited. At first, all she felt was the warmth of his coat, but then... A pulsating beat, like a bass drum, freed itself from somewhere deep inside. Feeling her mouth run dry, she pulled away as the color drained from her face.
"I'm not a robopony. I’m real," the doctor said softly, "My name is Dr. Prudence Ward. You can call me Dr. Ward, or Ward."
Her breathing picked up as she started to panic. Placing a hand on her chest she tried to rationalize what the talking horse was saying. I must have died. This must be heaven, she thought as she looked at the horse doctor, Nope, definitely hell. Heaven wouldn't have garish talking ponies.
"Your name?" he asked again, trying not to sound too demanding.
"Anna Marie Louis," she mumbled, lowering her forehead into her palms.
She felt something hard and warm press against her shoulder. Looking up, she saw the stallion had placed a hoof on her shoulder and was giving her a different kind of look. It wasn't the curt smile of impassivity that he wore before her prodding, it was a look of genuine care.
"OH MY GOD!" she croaked in panic. Anna pushed his hoof away as she got up and paced across the room. Sitting down, Ward let her walk out her little fit.
Ward was something of an expert on human biology and medical practice. He had been lucky enough to study under a human doctor in Manehatten when he was first starting out. Few ponies got a chance to study under Dr. Hands, as he was affectionately called. Few studied human medicine at all, and fewer still actually got jobs in the niche field.
"It would take some doing, but would you like to talk to another human?"
Anna stopped dead in her tracks and turned to the doctor. The fear and panic in her eyes was replaced with anger.
"How is that supposed to help me, huh?!" she shouted as she closed the gap between them.
"I'm a human, in a world dominated by weird talking ponies, who can move shit with their minds," she said before tugging at her hospital gown, "Nothing fits. Not the gown. Not the bathroom. Not the bed."
Walking over to the window she looked out on the bright world and saw ponies down below, "This isn't my world. And you expect me to be okay with it just because there are other humans here? I’m not them. Nothing belongs, I don't belong. I just want to ride away from here!"
The clop of hooves against the tile alerted her to Ward's approach. She didn't flinch when he reared up and placed his hooves on the windowsill. They stood there, looking out the window together, neither wanting to speak.
In his experience, most humans seemed to panic at the idea that their life would never be the same. The younger ones typically took it better than the elders unless they were young enough to still be dependent upon a parent; then it was much, much worse. This human was different. Something in her voice told him that she was lost long before she joined the misplaced.
"Do you always run?"
Pounding her fist against the glass, Anna turned to him. Her dirty blond hair covered half of her face, and in a broken tone she said, "What?"
Her body language was tense. Small muscles in her face were taut and she held her shoulders unnaturally high. Balling her free hand into a fist she watched as her knuckles turned white. It was a look that said don't touch me, but her eyes were pleading for something, anything to hold on to.
"It will get better, trust me."
Turning from the window, Anna stepped over to the corner of the room and slumped down. She hugged her knees to her chest as she laid her head back against the wall.
"You're asking me to trust you?" she said, glaring at him. "That’s ridiculous."
"Don't you trust your doctor?" he asked innocently.
"I don't trust doctors period, and especially not pony doctors," she retorted.
Ward offered her a cheeky grin, “Me neither.”
A smile nudged Anna’s lips as she tried to accept Ward’s attempt at creating commonality.
"Many things will be new, Miss Anna. There will be things you like and things you dislike. Look on the bright side, whatever you were running from can't get you here," he said as he walked back to the door. Before leaving the room, he looked over his shoulder and gave her a warm smile. "Welcome to Equestria, Anna!"
