My Little Pony: Friendship Is Crappy~ Episode 1: Fun for my cinnamon bun

by Rainbow Sprinkles

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1220

Apple Jack drops by Twilights house and threatens to kill Spike but doesn't

Apple Jack the gangsta stops by Twilights house with pistol wanting to kill Spike for something he did, but she doesn't.
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Warning! - This does NOT contain cursing but it is rated teen for some words and violence.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-11 02:00:02 UTC

Chapter 1: Twilight hates everypony

It was nice summer day and Twilight was writing Princess Celestia another one of her stupid letters. She was in the middle of her letter when Apple Jack burst in to the room. She was holding a pistol and didn't look happy. She trotted into the room still holding the pistol, she looked around intently and groaned. Apple Jack turned and looked at Twilight. Twilight didn't even notice she was there, nor did she care she had a pistol.

" Where is he! " Apple Jack shouted.

" Where is who " Twilight ignoring Apple Jack's attitude.

" Spike! Where is he! " Apple Jack shouted once more.

" I don't know " Twilight said while she was still writing her letter. Apple Jack stamped her hoof in anger. She trotted over to Twilight and shoved her hard on the ground, which made Twilight spill her bottle of ink all over the floor. Apple Jack pinned Twilight ground, with a hoof on her chest and a gun pointed at her in the other.

" I know you know where he is! " Apple Jack shouted at Twilight. " If you don't tell me I'll kill you, and Spike" Twilight looked at her spilled ink and stared back up at Apple Jack.

" You know how much money one of those things cost? " Twilight said pointing at the spilled bottle of ink. " It costs $0.50 per bottle, oh and thanks for spilling it on my floor because now I have to pay a lot of money to get my floor cleaned "

" I'll ask you one more time " Apple Jack said pointing the gun at her forehead. " Where is Spike "  But before Twilight could answer Spike walked in carrying a bunch of scrolls. He was humming a tune that neither Twilight or Apple Jack recognized. Apple Jack jumped off of Twilight and trotted over to Spike and hit him hard on the head with the gun, which made Spike drop all the scrolls. Spike fell to the ground and groaned. He rubbed his head and looked at his claw to see blood. Spike sighed, and looked up at Apple Jack.

" Hey what's this all about! " Spike said showing her his bloody claw. Apple Jack smacked Spikes claw out of the way and threw Spike at one of the book shelves, making a few books fall. Apple Jack trotted over to Spike and punched him hard in the stomach and pointed the gun at his forehead.

" You know what you did you, you little retard " Apple Jack punch him in the face repeatedly instill she saw blood " Time for y'all to die " Apple Jack said with a grin, but before she pulled the trigger, Twilight teleported him next to her.

" Apple Jack why do you want to kill Spike? " Twilight said, even though she could care less about any pony she needed Spike to send letters and do her chores while she slacked off or drank.

" It doesn't matter why, all I know is that I'm gonna... " Apple Jack was cut off when Rainbow Dash flew in through the window and crashed into twilight's desk. Rainbow Dash stood up and shook her self off. She turned and looked at Apple Jack and Twilight and smiled.

" What's up stupid retards " Rainbow Dash said waving at them. " Sorry about that desk, I'm totally not paying for it by the way " Rainbow Dash looked at Spikes bloody face and Apple Jack's bloody hooves. " Whoa, what happened here "

" What does it look like, genius " Apple Jack said sarcastically.

" She wants to kill Spike " Twilight said looking at Spikes wounds.

" Why? " Rainbow Dash asked.

" That's what I want to know, but she won't tell me " Twilight walks torwards the kitchen, and calls back to Spike " Come on Spike, let's fix you up " She said as she disappeared in to the kitchen with Spike right behind her. Apple Jack sighed and layed up against the wall, pulled her hat over her head, and placed the gun next to her.

Apple Jack looked up when she realized Rainbow Dash was staring at her. " Do you want to get killed, Rainbow Dash? " Apple Jack said putting her hoof on the gun.

" Umm no " Rainbow Dash said cocking her head to the left.

" Then keep your giant ugly eyes of me! " Apple Jack yelled at her.

" My eyes are ugly? " Rainbow Dash said looking at her hooves. " And giant? "

" Ain't that what I just said " Apple Jack said staring at her.

" Well your eyes are giant too! " Rainbow Dash said angrily. " And green! "

" What does green have to do with any thing? " Apple Jack retorted.

" Green is a ugly color! " Rainbow Dash yelled at Apple Jack.

" Oh yah, well.. your and ugly color! " Apple Jack yelled back at Rainbow Dash.

" Psh, blue is a awesome color! " Rainbow Dash said crossing her arms. " Who wants to be orange!? You look like a walking carrot "

" You look like a walking idiot! " Apple Jack snapped.

" That doesn't make any sense! " Rainbow Dash slammed her hoof on the ground.

" You don't make any sense! " Apple Jack stood up and went in front of Rainbow Dash.

" Get outta my face! " Rainbow Dash yelled.

" Why don't you make me " Apple Jack said grinning. Rainbow Dash shoved her on the ground. Apple Jack stood up and reared up on her front legs. She was about to deliver a crushing blow to her face when Twilight used magic to freeze the both of them.

" Stop fighting, before some one gets hurt " Twilight said standing in middle of them. They could both tell Twilight really didn't care if either of them got hurt, because she was a bad actor. She also had that " I don't give a crap look " on her face, which also gave it away. Twilight unfroze the two ponies and Apple Jack went back on all fours. She turned to face Rainbow Dash and smiled apologetically, Rainbow Dash did the same.

" Now could you say sorry to Spike " Twilight said pointing at the crippled purple Dragon, who was cowering begin her. Twilight pushed Spike to the left of her with her back leg. Apple Jack approached Spike and smiled.

" I hate you and you deserved to get beat up " Apple Jack said.

" Close enough, now get out my house " Twilight said using her magic to open the door. The Twilight used magic to throw the two ponies out of her house and slammed the door shut.

" What's up with her? " Rainbow Dash asked her friend as she brushed dirt off of her fur and mane .

" Oh I don't know " Apple Jack said. " Hey want to go beat up Fluttershy? "

" Ok " Rainbow Dash said as the two friends ran down the dirt roads torwards Fluttershy's cottage.