Shockingly Shy

I was deep inside the town before I stopped running, I had nowhere to go. I was just wandering the streets, I was drawing attention, but I didn't care. I looked to see where I was, if I was near anywhere near where one of my friends worked. Hopefully a friend that is tolerating of this sort of thing, I don't want a repeat of earlier. I cringed as I thought of my encounter with my mom, her words echoed in my head, they stung every time the bounced off my skull. I noticed that I was near a pony tolerant friend, she was one of my best friends and she accepted me being a Brony well. She even liked the ponies, the only reason she wasn't a Brony was that she wasn't a fan, she just liked them. It had confused me how she could like them without being a fan, but when she explains it, it just makes sense.

I walked over to the nearby comic book store, she wasn't a fan of comic books, but she did enjoy some of them sometimes. I knew that she worked most days, here's to hoping she's in today. I walked in and my heart leaped to see a friendly face, I usually came by here if I had nothing better to do, every-time I came by and she was here she was reading something behind the counter. Sure enough today was no exception, I saw her with her nose deep in a book, when she heard the tinkle of the bells on the door she looked over. She almost fell out of her chair in shock, I could see she had been informed of the situation with the ponies as she quickly composed herself.

“Can I help you miss?” she was obviously still shocked, but she was doing a good job of containing it.

“You can start by not calling me miss. Could I hang with you for a while Rosalynn? I don't really have another person to hang with,” she looked a little shocked at my request.

“Umm... sure? But how did you know my name?” she looked down to make sure she didn't somehow gain a name-tag.

“It's me, Clemente. Surprise!” I feigned enthusiasm as I walked over to a chair by the counter, I pulled myself onto it with a little struggle. I rested my head onto the counter and she was looking at me.

“Clemente!? Why are you a pony? Why are you a female? Why are you here?” I lifted my head and looked her in the eyes.

“I don't know,” I lowered my head back to the table, I was too drained to say anymore.

“Are you okay?” she leaned forward to brush my mane away from my right eye.

“I'm fine,” I wasn't fine, but I didn't need my dignity taken from me. I could handle a punch, I wouldn't let myself be babied by her. Besides, I had so much taken away from me already, I had my masculinity, my body, my spirit, and finally my family taken from me. Forgive me if I'm less than happy with the world, I just wanted to close my eyes and wish this whole mess away. What was I even going to do? I can't solve this problem on my own, I don't even know where to start. I don't even know if this problem can be solved, and if it can I don't know who knows how to solve it. There is just so much I don't know, with so much left in the dark I can't even imagine what I am going to do in this situation.

Well if I can't find what to do let's start at the opposite, what don't I do. Okay, so things I won't do. Finding things not to do is actually just as challenging, I don't know what to avoid. I'll obviously avoid bad things, but what is a bad thing? Murderers? Psycho's? I haven't seen and don't expect to see any, so I've got that covered. But other than the obvious, what is a bad thing? Probably something that has faced me with intentional malice. Only one instance comes to mind, and it wasn't that long ago. I'm an outcast to my own family, they can't see me as family until I get back to normal. So that's it then, I can't see my family anymore. At least not until I'm back to normal, then I can go back and be a part of the family.

Now to what I do in that time, I can't go home so I need somewhere to stay. Could I stay here in the shop? I looked around and finally rested my eyes on Rosalynn, she saw me looking at her and looked up from her book. No, I can't stay here, the only reason I'm here now is because it was close by and I had a friend here. She won't be here all the time, her shift will end and I'll have to leave if I'm not a customer.

Maybe I could go home with her? We could hang around at her place, but I don't know if that's appropriate. A boy staying with a girl at her house, I'm sure that her parents wouldn't approve. But I'm a girl now right? Maybe they don't have to know I'm a boy... No, that's just deceitful. Besides, I don't know if I can handle what she would put me through at her house.

Do I know anyone else I could stay with? I thought long and hard as I rattled off names in my head, the only person that came to mind was Dave. He was really the only other person whose house I could stay at, but I crossed off family already. But wasn't he the one who had helped us in the beginning? When I woke up? He was the one who told me they would be there for me no matter what. If I could trust anyone it's him, after all, isn't he the dependable one? No, I can't go back, the rest of them still won't accept me, I'll just be chased away as soon as I step foot inside. Besides, I have no way to reach him. I left all my stuff at the house.

Wait... all of my stuff. My phone, my money, my wallet, my identification. It's all back there, now I don't even have a way of showing who I am, who I used to be. I am officially Fluttershy, a facial recognition is the only way of identification I have. How am I going to do anything without money anyways? I can't buy food, I don't have a way to pay for it.

Great, so let's tally up what I have riding against me. I am homeless, family-less, broke, lost, faceless, and helpless. My heart sank lower than ever before, I was truly at my lowest. With the way things were going, it could only get better. It could truly only get better, what more could happen? I could die, but even that might be an improvement. I could lose a loved one, but I had no one close to me anymore. I was forsaken by my own family, and I wasn't even me anymore. I could fall victim to endless torture, that was really the only thing that could bring me lower. Losing my free-will, that's all that could happen. Was that truly all I had left? My free will?

If I've got all the things running against me listed, I might as well get the good things out. I have wings, but I can't fly. I could try and fix that later though, flying shouldn't be too hard. I am famous, fame could get me a lot of things I needed, namely food and shelter. I am... what else do I have going for me? Hopefulness? No, I am still pretty doubtful. Kindness? I am the element of kindness after all, but I don't remember being all that kind yet. I have to have more than two things going for me, what does Fluttershy have? She has her animals, but I don't have any animals.

She has her friends, I looked up towards Rosalynn. I have my friends too I suppose, I know I have one I can count on so far. What about Fluttershy's friends? Do I have them too? The elements are bound together in an unbreakable bond of friendship, but is that friendship bond physical? Or maybe it's meta-physical, bound to their spirit. If that's so then I guess I don't have them, Fluttershy does, but Fluttershy isn't here. It's only me in her body, so I guess I don't really have her friends. Besides, you can't be friends with people you haven't met, can you?

There is always the case of online friends, you can get to be good friends with someone online, but are you really friends? Some people can act very differently online, and maybe you don't want to be friends with them offline, but online they are pretty good friends. It's like the online one and the offline one are two different people, maybe they are. You have met the online one, so you can be friends with them. But if you haven't met the offline one you don't really know them, that means you can't really be friends with them right?

This is getting confusing, of course you can't be friends with people you don't know. Blindly putting your faith into something is only a good idea if you can trust what you are putting your faith into. To trust something you have to get a glimpse of what it is to know you can put your trust in it. I can't be friends with the others, and they can't be friends with me, not until we truly know each-other. I can't put my faith into things close to me either, last time I did that I got socked across the face. It seems you can't trust anything, if you trust in something too much it hurts even more when your trust is betrayed.

I really don't have much riding for me, but haven't people gotten by with worse? After all, I'm not stranded somewhere I don't know. I wasn't fatally injured or terminally sick, my situation could be completely hopeless, but it's not. I'm not usually such a downer like this, must be female hormones or something, it's not very fun being depressed like this. I really have to get over this and get on my feet, I need to get moving. This predicament is not going to fix itself after all, I need a plan first. Didn't we have something in mind? Oh yeah, we sent a message to princess Fausticorn. She needs a better name, that just sounds horrible.

“Hey, Rosalynn? Can I use your computer?” she looked up from her book and nodded. She leaned over to her bag and pulled out a sleek black laptop, I swear her family is rich. She had a Razer Blade Pro, one of the best gaming computers out there. She even had a Razer Ouroboros mouse to go with it, not to mention her Tiamat headset. She didn't waste the gaming potential though, she used these for intense gaming. We played prop hunt and trouble in terrorist town a lot together, we usually gathered a bunch of friends and got on Skype while playing, and we found that being able to talk to each-other made it much more fun. She was one of the best players in all the games we played, the closest second was a good friend of mine named Zack. He used to live here, but he moved to Oklahoma a year or so back. We still stayed connected over Skype and me, him, and Rosalynn would game together occasionally.

She logged into the computer, “what you looking to search?” she asked.

“Facebook, I need to check something,” she nodded and opened it up.

“Oh, look. It's your post,” she turned the computer towards me.

“Yeah, great, can I log in,” I watched as there were multiple clicks and some typing before it was turned to me.

“Thank you,” I typed my password in carefully, she had already put in my email for me. I watched as the website loaded in record speed, this was a great laptop. I think I might just faint from its speed and beauty, I want to marry this laptop. Okay, enough of being weird, it's time to focus. I had two messages, one was from Faust and the other was from my brother. I looked at my options for a while before deciding Faust was first and foremost.

“Hello Clemente, I am afraid that I do not know how to fix this.” my heart sank a little but I read on, “however, I have been informed that the answer may lie in gathering the element users together. You may have heard of the unicorn known as Starlet Mint, she was the one to formulate this plan and is on her way up here to help. We need to gather the element users in New York, seeing as you are Fluttershy I have to insist you get to New York post haste. If you see any other element users, inform them if they do not already know. I am trying to locate them myself, but I am having a bit of difficulty finding any of them. I will await your arrival, try to contact Starlet when you arrive, she seems to have a better idea of this situation then I do and it would be good if she could inform you on anything she might have learned.” I finished reading it up.

Something didn't sit well with me, I didn't like the idea that this starlet person knew more about this than anyone. It just seemed a bit odd that some random person would know more about this then the creator of the show. That and the fact that it seemed a bit too easy to have someone just wake up and have a plan, one that involves getting all the ponies of power together at once. Even if it did seem like a good idea to get the element users together, it was all too convenient. Regardless of how convenient it seemed I still need to get to New York, suspicious or not this Starlet person knows something. I'm getting answers at any cost.

“Okay, I'll be sure to bring tell the others. I'll see you in New York!” I sent the message out and looked at the notifications. I still had one message, it was from my brother. The least I could do was acknowledge it.

“Clemente? Where are you? Are you okay? I'm looking for you now, if you see this please answer.” I sighed, I was conflicted. On one hand, it would be nice to see him. On the other hand, I said I wouldn't go back to family until this was fixed. Family or not, he's one of my good friends too. Plus it wouldn't me going to my family, it would be him coming for me. I just can't let him drag me back, he deserves an explanation though.

“I'm at the comic book shop that Rosalynn works at,” I sent the message out, he should be here soon then. Maybe he can go back and grab my stuff, then I can head off to New York. I closed down the tab and shut the laptop, now all I had to do was wait. I didn't have to wait long, he was apparently already very close. Not even five minutes later he appeared in the parking lot, it was pretty empty so it wasn't hard to see him. He rushed into the shop, good thing it was empty because I could tell he would have made a scene had it not been.

“Clemente! There you are! Are you okay? It's alright to come back now. Mel is explaining things to mom right now. I'm sure she's sorry for yelling at you,” I looked away from him.

“I'm not going back...” he looked at me in shock.

“Why? Its okay, I'm sure she understands. I ran after you after Mel started to explain things to her. She tried to stop things from getting out of han–” he stopped suddenly, he rushed over to me and pulled my mane away so it wasn't covering my right eye anymore. He let out a gasp, “What happened? Who did this to you?!” he was looking around as if my attacker was here.

“It's nothing, its fine. I'm sure mom didn't mean too, she was just scared...” he looked at me shocked.

“Mom? She...” I nodded before he could finish the sentence. “Come on back, I'm sure she is sorry for what she did. Come on back and we can–” I hushed him with my hoof.

“I'm not going back, I've caused enough trouble. Besides, I'm not needed there, I'm needed in New York,” I lowered my hoof to see his confusion.

“New York? You’re going to New York?” I saw he was still distraught about me not wanting to go home, but he was okay with a subject change.

“Yeah, there are answers and a possible way to fix this, but it involves me. I'm needed for the plan to possibly work, so I need to go to New York,” I pulled myself out of his grip.

“Okay, well let's head back to my place. We can talk about this there, seeing as you don't want to go home.” he got up and walked towards the door.

“Bye Rosalynn, thanks for letting me hang here,” I waved as I headed towards the door myself.

“No Prob. Besides, not like I had much else to do,” she gestured towards the empty store and we laughed. I smiled, it felt good to finally laugh. Like a laugh released frustration and negative feelings. Maybe Pinkie Pie was onto something with the whole laughter thing, laughter really is the best medicine.