The End of the Beginningby Hasee500ChaptersChapter 1: Ma Mort.Chapter 2: Disputationi SilvaChapter 3: Suave LeviatánChapter 4: Refocusing on the World.Chapter 5:WHY.Chapter 6: A Trial Of Wits and FriendsChapter 0: Me.Chapter 1: Ma Mort.On that day, I was walking to my bus stop. Nothing new, just a warm spring day. I sighed. My thoughts were bordering on lethally high levels of depressing. "Why should I keep on going to school if I hate it so much?" A normal day. Weekends were fun, and Friday is the only day of the week excluding the weekend that I liked. However, a Monday like this may as well be news that I get to live in hell. Oh wait... The bus arrived. I got on, and went through my dreary day. Same boring Language Arts, which wouldn't help us in life. Same old Algebra 1 that we would very rarely use. Same old chemistry, with it's boring crunching numbers. At lunch, (which is around 1pm for me) I sat down with my 3 friends, (This is the 10% I was talking about.) .....Parentheses guy, are you going to let me finish? (hmmmmm.... Sure, why not?) Anyways, I sat down with my (NOPE) ... ... ... F*** you. ... 3 friends, who were chatting about how Tae-kwon-do is. ... AHEM. (What? Oh. Sorry. Tae-kwon-do was a martial art I was taking.) Then, one of them asked if I could buy him a cookie. His name was Gabriel Salazar. The only detail I'm going to state about him is that he somehow owed the school over 100$'s in lunch money. Due to this fact, I was half tempted to say "How about no, ya crazy dutch bastard?!" but I was feeling in a oddly charitable mood that day.. I went up to the snack counter, put in my ID, and bought a cookie with the money in my account. This is the point where one of the jackasses who have tormenting me decided to walk up to me and say this phrase: "Hey baby, is that cookie for me?" and snatched the cookie out of my- STOP! How could I forget that?! HOW?! Ok, let me explain. Yes, the Jackass was male. No, I am not gay. The only reason why his face wasn't stuffed full of the lovely taste of wall was the fact that I had a uncanny amount of self control, as I didn't want any ISS. Moving on, he stole the cookie. At this point in my life, I knew that the snack line lady would do fuck all to help me. No one ever did.That's when I did the only thing I could do. I walked up to him, and asked politely for my cookie back. (yeah, If politely means "threatening everything they know and love.") . . . (What?) How 'bout you have a nice big can of "You better shut up or I will sew your mouth closed." . . . Good. His reply was extremely vulgar. I'm not going to say it, but it had something to do with dead babies. After that, he pulled out something shiny. And sharp. It only took one good slice. Chapter 2: Disputationi SilvaI awoke to the sound of a babbling creek, to moss, and to dirt. What I didn't wake up to, however, was light. This was extremely odd due to the fact that I felt completely refreshed. I stood up, and saw via the moonlight that I was in a heavily wooded area, that might be called a forest. At my feet were 7 things: My foam Nerf sword, that had all the foam on the blade removed, My Kindle Fire, which held my music, A pocket knife, that had some odd red fluid on it, A flashlight, which was on, A Glock handgun, Which I identified due to my time playing counter strike, A clip of bullets, presumably for the glock, and a wrist watch. I then tried to puzzle out Why this stuff was here, how it got here, and what purpose would they serve in the future. That's when another question popped into my mind: "Why is it so bright if it's the middle of the night? Even NC's nights were darker than this..." While puzzling these thoughts out, I took the supplies. The knife went into my pocket, as did the glock and the clip of bullets, which I tried and failed to load in. The watch went on my arm, the sword in the back of my shirt, the flashlight into my left hand, and my Kindle, which I unlocked, in my right. I decided to look up my music and listen to a bit of it, but all of it was stored in the cloud, and there was no internet. See the problem? I then went to the documents, to see if there was any fanfics on there that I had left. I only saw 4 files. Two were Minecraft fanfics, one was the user guide, and one was a file called "READ ME". Can you guess which one I read? Cuz' if you guessed Read me, you'd be right. All it says was this: "Welcome to the Timeless Forest. Make your way out before 9 AM, or perish." Well, isn't that lovely. Now, some of you may be wondering why I don't seem to be afraid of the fact that I was in some random forest at the middle of the night. Truth was, I was too busy contemplating what the hell I needed a glock for to care. I then checked my newly found wrist watch, and read it. (No, I ate it. DUR) Hey now, no need to insult the reader. Anyways, it said that the time was 12 Am, or midnight. After some maths, I realized that I had 9 hours until the deadline. That was not good. After all, I had no clue what to do. "So, I have 9 hours to leave? What happens if I don't?" However, the forest itself didn't seem harmful at all. I decided to look around and see what there was to see. I walked north, and this is what I saw: Plants. Shrubs. More shrubs. A lake. Creeks. Yawn. I decided to stop and take a break from the walk, and see what time it was. 12:30. Approximately, of course. This is when I decided to test something out. I took out the pocket knife, and the glock. I looked at the knife, and saw that it technically was a switchblade. The glock, which I had figured out how to unload, already had a clip of rubber bullets in it, and the bullets in the spare clip were lethal ammo. I then spent the rest of the hour disassembling the clip, and saw that a magazine held 15 shots. I reloaded the glock with the rubber bullets, and then tried to shoot in the distance. *click* "OH COME ON!" *click* *click* *BANG* "Yes! YES! AWWWW YEAAAAH!" So, the glock was working. Bad news, I was missing 1 bullet, and god knows when I'll get- Wait a minute, what's that? I heard a scream from the north! Chapter 3: Suave LeviatánI rushed into the night, to where I heard the scream. What I saw was something out of a horror flick, designed for children. I saw a bunch of... horses? Ponies? Let's go with the second one. They all had ruby red eyes, which brought back memories of a song I'm fond of. Their skin was black, and hanging loosely on their bones. They seemed to be a zombie of some sort, and obviously had not be the source of the scream, but the cause of it. More notably, however, would be the smaller pony off to the right, in the corner of my eye. It (I'm gonna call it "it" because I don't know it's gender.) had short red hair, yellow skin, orange eyes, and was the only possible source of the scream. Unless I'm on some sort hallucinogen, this was real. So that's when I thought of why a small pony would be out here in the dark. I also thought of what weapons I had, wei- AHHHHHH! THAT ONE TRIED TO BITE ME! OH GOD RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRURNUNRUNRUNRUNRUNURNURNURNURNURNURNRUNRUNRUNRU GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TAKE THE PONY WITH YOU! *five minutes later* Phew... I think we lost them. What time is it? It seems to be 1:10. I had the small pony with me, who seems to be HORRIFIED of me. She's (I'm gonna assume that it's a she, due to how feminine her screams sound) only been wailing for the last few minutes, but now she was screaming "GO AWAY!" quite frequently. Due to this, I decided to try and talk to her. (for conversation, the pony will be in red.) "Stop screaming! I'm not going to hurt you." "Yah ya will! Applejack told me about the monsters in the Everfree Forest, but she never said anything 'bout a bear that walks on two legs!" "I'm not a bear! I'm technically a monkey. But, more to the point, who's Applejack? And isn't this forest called the Timeless Forest?" "Mister, ah don't know where ya got that name from, but this here forest is the Everfree Forest. Anyways, yall ain't gettin' the name of my sister from this pony! No sir!" Well, now we know her age. Only a child would make a mistake like that. But, you have to admit, her antics were adorable. "So, what's your name?" "Ah ain't telling ah monster my name!" "If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done so earlier." "How do ah know ya ain't lying ta me?" "We're in a secluded forest. I'm at least a good 2 feet higher than you. I have a knife and a gun. You are unarmed. Face it, in a fight, I would win." "... alright." "Good! Glad we agree. So, I've got a few questions for you. One, What's your name?" "Mah name's Applebloom." "Next, what are you doing in a forest in the middle of the night?" "Ah'm here ta get mah cutie mark!" ... ... ... "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" That was my immediate reaction to the rustling in the bushes that I heard. I turned around to where I heard it, and I saw one of those zombie ponies. I then preformed a roundhouse kick, which knocked it's head into the nearest tree. However, there was no apparent damage, and it continued to attack me. I then took out my knife and tried to stab it in the face. DAMN! I MISSED! C'MON! DIE! AHH! IT BIT ME! *Swosh* *STAB* *Thunk* Is... Is it dead? I think it's dead. That's good, cuz I feel a bit woozy. Do I have any tylenol? No, I don't. Maybe the pony knows where to find some. "Hey. Appleboom." "It's AppleBLOOM." "Riiiight. Do you know where I can find some painkillers?" "What are those?" "Pills." "Nope. Sorry mister." "Could you stop calling me that? i do have a name." "Then what is it, mister?" "Jacob Schott." "That's a funny name, Jacob." "Not where I come from. By the way, where is the nearest hospital?" "In Ponyville! Ah can lead you there, but I can't run that fast, so ya'll have to carry me." "So, if I hadn't picked her up when the zombies attacked her, she would be dead." "Alrighty then, you have yourself a deal. Hop on!" I was leaning over to let the pony on my back, and as she was surprisingly light, I could tend to my right ribcage. There was a startling amount of blood on my shirt, and it hurt like hell. "That must be where the zombie bit me... Let's hope there's no venom." Here I had a choice. Use up some of my clothing to make a bandage for my ribs, or move on. On the one hand, I'll bleed out much slower. On the other, I'll have to waste time making it, and I'm not that experienced in first aid. I decided to ask Applebloom if she had any first aid knowledge. "Hey, Applebloom was it? Do you know how to make a bandage?" "Nope!" "...Fuck. This. Noise. With. A. Hammer." "So, about how far are we from the hospital?" "It's in tha middle of tha town, and we're right next to tha edge of the forest." "Thank God with a basket full of blood." "Who's God? And what's blood?" "I'll explain after I get patched up." Just then, I heard a extremely guttural cry of rage. At this noise, I yelled at Applebloom to get off my back, and that I would handle this. I pulled out the gun, and dimly recognized the fact that it was loaded with rubber bullets, and if the target was a zombie, then i'm dead. The good news: the cry seemed to have come from a large orange pony with a hat. The bad news: the pony kicked me in the chest before I had time to get a shot off. Chapter 4: Refocusing on the World.First thought of the morning: "You take Tae-Kwon-Do, you had a gun and a knife, and you still failed. Nice job, you retarded son of a bitch." Second thought: "Where am I? Am I dead?" Ok, I accidentally said that second one out loud. Whoops. Luckily, it seems that I attracted (HEY, ITS ME AGAIN!) ...You were going to point out the innuendo in "I attracted", weren't you? (Yep, NOW WHERE'S MY COOKIE?) It's in hell, now go fetch. (WOOF!) ...He's gone. Thank god. So, let's see, orange pony towering over me, Applebloom in the corner along with big red pony, WITH A PITCHFORK IN HIS MOUTH, hands tied behind my back, and my ribcage seems to have some bandages on them that DESPERATELY need changing. I decided to look at the orange pony and see if it might be sentient. It (same reason why I called Applebloom an it when I first met her) seemed feminine, although again, I could be wrong, so I will stick with it. It had green eyes, and some white freckles on her cheeks. I would call it kinda cute, but that may be an insult in this world. "You're in mah farm. While ya ain't dead, say somethin' wrong and you'll wish you'd be." Can you take a guess at who that is? C'mon, I'm just testing to make sure you aren't retarded. If you guessed the orange pony, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE A BRAIN, AND YOU'RE USING IT! YAAAY! That's more than can be said about for half of my school... Anyways, I better respond. "What's your name? And why am I tied up?" "Ah ain't tellin!" "Why?" "Cuz you tried ta kill Applebloom, maybe?" "Ok then, why isn't she dead then?" "What do you mean?" "If I tried to kill her, I most likely would have succeeded. So, why isn't she dead?" "Cuz I gave yah a buck to the head?" "Still, did she have any injuries?" "Yah, she did. A massive bite on her hoof. Explain that, buddy boy!" "Simple. She's smaller than me, and I would have to either lie on the ground or crouch to a level that it would be hard to move, so it couldn't be me. However, when I found her in the forest, she was being chased by these zombie-like creatures. I think that's where the bite came from." At this point, she (at least, I think it's a she) turned around and started talking to Applebloom. "Applebloom, is what this creature saying true?" "HEY! I'm not a creature, I'm a human!" "Yah Applejack! His name's Jacob, and he's not ah monster!" "Wait a minute... Applebloom?" "Yah? "I've been talking to your sister all this time?" "Yep!" "Ok then... That's shocking." "Applebloom, yah ain't answering me. Is he telling the truth?" "Yah, he is!" "Since I've proven my innocence, can you get these ropes off of me?" Of course, I still have some misgivings about Applejack's attack, but while we were negotiating, I realized something: If I was in Applejack's shoes, (Hooves, shoes, whatever) I would have done the same. "Ah'm sorry bout hogtying yah. And bucking you. And acting before thinking. Friends?" "Sure, why not? Just keep those hooves away from my stomach." We both shared a chuckle at that, although mine was cut short due to the pain in my ribs. And back. And arm. "But in all seriousness, can you get these ropes off of my arms? I need to go to the hospital. Badly." "Why partner, you already went!" ...WAT. "HOW LONG WAS I OUT?!" "Ah took yah to the hospital, at around two hours before dawn, and the operation was done at sunrise. You woke up about an hour later." "Wow. You kicked me rather hard then. Do you have any alcohol? That might help my pain." Unless I'm already doped up on painkillers... "Ah got ah small amount of cider." Now, before I continue, yes I am contemplating having some booze to help relive some pain when I'm under the legal drinking age. Ok? Ok. "Good! Could you lead me to it?" "Ah can't. The doctors told me not to give you any alcohol." "Well, alright." *grumble* "Ah think your a mite hungry. Wanna have some chow?" "I'm more than a mite hungry, but yes, breakfast sounds great." She opened the door that lead outside... whateverintheholynameofgodthatthisplaceiscalled and guided me around. The tour began in the apple trees, which is where the 'shed' that I was in lead out to. Applejack explained that the farm was called Sweet Apple Acres, and this is where the name derived from. I rebuted with this idle comment: "Apples are some of my least favorite fruits. I mean, don't get me wrong, an occasional apple is nice, but the only type of apple that I eat reguraly would be the sour ones." "Jacob, are yah trying ta get me to buck you again?" "No, if I was, I would insult your farm." "So then, what is your favorite fruit?" "Why don't you try to guess it?" "Bananas?" "NO. BANANAS ARE TERRIBLE." "Peaches?" "Nope." "Pears?" "I hate pears." "Strawberries?" "YES! I WOULD MARRY STRAWBERRIES IF I COULD!" The idle bantering went on... You know what guys? I'm gonna leave the rest of my trip to the next chapter. BAI Chapter 5:WHY.So, I'm back. Sorry 'bout that, just had a sore mind. Applejack gave me one of her apples, and HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS THAT'S SECRETLY A FRIGGIN SHARK THEY'RE GOOD. Anyways, now that I'm revitalized enough to write, let's continue. So, lets see, we seem to be in a corn field. Wait a minute! Why would a farm called "Sweet Apple Acres" grow something other than apples? Is there some sort of lack of corn here? Is Applejack feeding her family? I better ask her. "So, Applejack." "Yah?" "Any particular reason why your growing corn?" "That's ah easy one. In three days time, we'll be hosting tha Summer Sun Celebration! The princess loves her popcorn!" "Wait a minute! What princess? What celebration? And will the popcorn be buttered and salted?!" This was the point where I noticed the fact that Applejack stopped walking and started staring at me. What did I do? "Are yah saying ta me that yah don't know who Princess Celestia is?!" "You have to remember, I haven't been here for more than 2 days." "She's the pony who moves the sun and the moon!" ...WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF GOD ON A POGO STICK MADE OF SHARKS. "WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT?! WHY DON'T THE SUN AND THE MOON MOVE ON THEIR OWN?!" Ahh yes, another one of Applejack's stares that make me feel as though I spoke Cthulhu. "YAH MEAN THA SUN AND THA MOON MOVE ON THEIR OWN WHERE YOU COME FROM?!" "Yes, of course they do! Why wouldn't they?" "Why, that's just plain silly! In Equestria, ever since Ah was ah little filly, the sun and moon were moved by Celestia!" "Yeah, and on Earth, ever since I was a child, the moon and the sun moved on their own!" "What next, are yah gonna tell me the weather changes on it's own?!" "Why, yes! Yes it does!" Silence. A whole, complete silence. Not a noise, not even the sound of me breathing. DEAR LORD WHAT DID I DO TO GET AN AWKWARD SILENCE AT THIS TIME. "So, what you're telling me is that Earth, wherever that is, has it's weather made by chance, and that you can't control it." "Yes, although, over time, we managed to learn signs to tell us what weather we're going to have." "That's ah load of horse apples." "It's true, I swear! Anyways, what's this celebration about?" "Well, the Summer Sun Celebration celebrate's Celestia moving tha sun everyday!" Well. That was obvious. "Alright, what's the next stop?" "Well, next up would be the kitchen, for some food." "I agree with this idea completely." So, we walked. And walked. And walked some more. Eventually we saw a red barn, which seemed to be the main household of the plantation. Since I was a bit tired, I decided to listen to some music. On low, of course. For some reason, this song popped up. FITTING MUSIC MUCH. Head bobbing was imminent, really. "And what in the hay are yah doing?!" Oh yeah... ponies might not know what headphones are. "Oh, me? I'm just listening to some music." "Yah, ah knew that! Ah mean, what are yah doing with your neck? It looks mighty hurtful." "Ahhh. I'm keeping in time with the beat!" "Well, that's mighty stupid." WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY. WHAT. SHE IS SO FUCKING DEAD. "WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN. YOU. THINK. IT'S. DUMB." "Ah mean, yah shouldn't go and hurt yer neck like that." Phew. Glad that was cleared up. Otherwise their would be a corpse here. "Yeah, I know, which is why I usually tap my foot. But sometimes, I get lost in the music..." Applejack's shaking her head... I wonder what I did wrong... "Well, we're here!" "THANK THE LORD! HALLELUJAH! Anyways, what are we going to have?" "We're gonna have some apple turnovers!" "Oh good! I enjoy apple turnovers, due to it being the only apple based pastry that I can stomach." OH GOD THAT'S AN EVIL GLARE. SHE'S STARING AT ME. "Well, partner, if yah don't like apples... then what are yah doing here?" "I told you, I'm not a fan of apples. Too sweet for my tastes. However, I have ONLY ever had an apple turnover. No other forms of pastries with apples in it. So, I'm willing to try anything you make. Plus, your apples are AMAZING!" OH THANK GOD. She's smiling. Phew, thought I was a goner. "So, let's eat!" I opened the door, and walked in the barn. What I saw would be best described as your stereotypical country dining hall, complete with a tableCLOTH. Emphasis on cloth. There was one thing that was missing, though. THE CHAIRS. AGGHHHHHHH. However, in it's place was NOTHING. Well, that's no fun. Wonder what we're eating. *ring ring ring ring* "Soup's on everypony!" "Soup." "What? Yah got ah problem with soup too?!" "No, I mean, is that what we're having for... what meal is this?" "Oh! Yah, we're having soup for dinner!" "Ahh. I see. What kind of soup?" "Carrot soup." Huh, why is she grimacing? I'll ask. "Something wrong with carrots?" "Nah. Just that the farm ain't doin very well." "Ok. Sorry to hear that, is there any way that I could help?" "Unless yah can make it rain, then nope." *knock knock knock* Huh? Who's there? "Well, aren't yah gonnna open the door?" Well then, Lets open the door! *Creaaaak* Those hinges need to get oiled. Behind door number 1 is... 2 Armored ponies. Huh? (They will be in.... Silver.) "Uhhh... hello?" "We're with the Equestrian Royal Guard, and you are under arrest." Jacob Schott.exe has unexpectedly shut down. "WHY?!" "You are under arrest for the use of illegal teleportation, and attempted murder. *Sigh* "Alright, I'll come quietly." Why are they so shocked? Did they really believe that I would attack? Oh well. Just when I thought things could change for the better. Well, look on the bright side, I get to meet Princess Celestia. Well, might as well think of a way to prove my innocence... Chapter 6: A Trial Of Wits and FriendsHuh? Where are we? We seem to be at some sort of mountain. Wait, what? Are we going to scale the mountain? Well, I dunno. I can make a few guesses though. And, luckily, I managed to keep my Kindle Fire. They also didn't bind my hands. So, I can listen to music, which means I can have fitting puzzle music! YAY! I know what you're thinking. (or, I can guess.) You're thinking "Why don't you run?" Well, two reasons, one I'll reveal now. It's simple really, this way I can look into... whatever this mountain is, and what relation it has to do with... I guess the Equestrian Armed Forces? Alright, now let's see. Let's press the play button on my music, and begin. So, step one. Is there any obvious ways up the mounta- WAIT WHY IS There a cloth on m.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ok, interesting first though of the day: "Why do I seem to be in bondage gear?" Of course, that was my reaction to the fact that I'm chained to a wall. In a dungeon. Luckily, I am clothed and there are no whips or gags nearby. Or creepy monsters. Yes, that is my mental checklist if I ever get thrown in a dungeon. Not much to say, really, just your stereotypical dungeon. Oh, and my kindle fire is still with me. Too bad I cant reach it. Well, I guess we're gonna have to- *creeeeak* Oh look, the door's open! And there are guards. Yay. "Prisoner number 087, come with me." "I'm going to take a wild guess and say prisoner 087 is me." "Don't get smart. Your trial will be in 15 minutes, and you will be defending yourself. you will be prosecuted by Twilight Sparkle, personal student to Princess Celestia, and will be judged by Princess Celestia herself. Any questions?" "Yes, will there be a jury?" "No, there will not be a jury." "Will I be allowed to roam?" "Only under guard supervision." "One more thing. Will I need formal attire?" "No." "Thank you. Oh, and can you unchain me? Can't roam around with a wall on my back, now can I?" "Wait, what did you-" And he bursts into laughter. I don't think what I said was funny. "Give- Give me a moment! So, a fatty like you is going to tear down that wall?!" Oh. "Hey, no need to be rude. But, you do have a point. NOW BLOODY HURRY UP AND UNCHAIN ME." "Sorry. But, it's just so funny!" How long is this guy going to take... *Click* "Took you long enough. Anyways, what's your name?" "My name is Shining Armor." (oh, and from now on, Shining will be in blue.) "So, Shiny-" "MY NAME IS SHINING! GET IT RIGHT!" "Look, if you're going to talk to me, expect embarrassing nicknames." "Well, then Jake, glad you told me that now." "HAH! DEVIL'S PROOF! Back in my world, someone ALREADY HAD THAT NAME!" "So? they're not in Equestria, so it doesn't matter if the name is taken or not." .... .... .... DAMNIT HE HAS A POINT. "Y'know Shiny, I can see us being good friends. But first, I need to get this whole crime business cleared up." "So, what, are you gonna do it all alone? I'm here, you fool. AND STOP CALLING ME THAT." Well at least I have help. "Ok, so where to start? Let's see, the attempted murder is the easiest to disprove. However, since we only have 10 minutes, we can't gather evidence. So, might as well chat. First of all, who is Twilight?" "Depends. The pony, or the toilet paper brand?" "The pony. Mainly because it would be weird to talk about wiping you butt with crap." "Yeah. Anyways, Twilight is my little sister." "So, what you're saying is that I'm being prosecuted by your sister." "Yep." "And you're fine with that." "Yep!" "That is creepy. Oh, well, 5 minutes to showtime. So, what's she like?" "Well, she's very smart, and not very social." "Well. SHIT." "Hey, what's that for?" "She probably knows what's going to happen ahead of time. Which means, I'm dead in the water." "...Hmm. You really think that?" "Yeah." "Well if you're half as smart as you look, you might win." "What do you mean by that?" "Twilight's always one to take forever to make up her mind. However, you seem to be someone who can make a decision instantly." "Ah, so in other words you're saying I have an advantage of wits, as she's extremely technical." "Basically. Oh, and if you do lose, I can pull some strings." ....What did he just say? "Ok. Tell me the truth. Why do you trust me?" "Simple. No one comes to a world not of their own and then immediately starts a fight. And besides that, it's almost impossible to joke after trying to kill someone." ".... Huh. You do have a point there. Thanks for the trust." "But if you touch Twilly, I will hunt you down and make you wish you were dead." "Uhhhh.... I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the encouraging words?" "Well, It's time for you to get going. I'll lead you to the court room." And so, he got up, and my test began. It would be a test of wits and smarts, and the will to find the truth. Of course, I could be retarded and it'll be "Walk in, get arrested, walk out, eat face." But we'll have to find that out later. Chapter 0: Me.Hello. As you can probably tell via the magic of descriptions, this is the story of me, Jacob Schott. But first, since you are probably not figments of my imagination, let me explain what I look like. I am about 5 feet tall, slightly overweight, pale skinned, and I have brown hair so dark that you would think it's black. My eyes are brown, although you wouldn't be able to see much of them due to my squinting. I have freckles on my cheeks, and other than that, I am rather inconspicuous. Got that? Good. Now, my tale requires a bit of backstory. I am a 14 year old Reformed Jew, who lives (lived) in North Carolina. I go to North West Middle School, and this is (was) my last year there. I hated that place. 90% of the children there act like they have IQ's so low that they make celery look competent. The other 10% weren't in my classes. Of course. I live (lived) with my mother and father, as my brother was in rehab for Tobacco and Weed. My dad and mom then decided I had to give a damn about school, and basically lost all free time to work, finding work, or making sure my grades were top notch. Life wasn't good, but I wouldn't say it was bad either. It was Meh at best. My parents weren't jerks, and a few classes piqued my curiosity. But then, on the 12th of March, 2012, something that would change my life forever occurred...
Chapter 1: Ma Mort.On that day, I was walking to my bus stop. Nothing new, just a warm spring day. I sighed. My thoughts were bordering on lethally high levels of depressing. "Why should I keep on going to school if I hate it so much?" A normal day. Weekends were fun, and Friday is the only day of the week excluding the weekend that I liked. However, a Monday like this may as well be news that I get to live in hell. Oh wait... The bus arrived. I got on, and went through my dreary day. Same boring Language Arts, which wouldn't help us in life. Same old Algebra 1 that we would very rarely use. Same old chemistry, with it's boring crunching numbers. At lunch, (which is around 1pm for me) I sat down with my 3 friends, (This is the 10% I was talking about.) .....Parentheses guy, are you going to let me finish? (hmmmmm.... Sure, why not?) Anyways, I sat down with my (NOPE) ... ... ... F*** you. ... 3 friends, who were chatting about how Tae-kwon-do is. ... AHEM. (What? Oh. Sorry. Tae-kwon-do was a martial art I was taking.) Then, one of them asked if I could buy him a cookie. His name was Gabriel Salazar. The only detail I'm going to state about him is that he somehow owed the school over 100$'s in lunch money. Due to this fact, I was half tempted to say "How about no, ya crazy dutch bastard?!" but I was feeling in a oddly charitable mood that day.. I went up to the snack counter, put in my ID, and bought a cookie with the money in my account. This is the point where one of the jackasses who have tormenting me decided to walk up to me and say this phrase: "Hey baby, is that cookie for me?" and snatched the cookie out of my- STOP! How could I forget that?! HOW?! Ok, let me explain. Yes, the Jackass was male. No, I am not gay. The only reason why his face wasn't stuffed full of the lovely taste of wall was the fact that I had a uncanny amount of self control, as I didn't want any ISS. Moving on, he stole the cookie. At this point in my life, I knew that the snack line lady would do fuck all to help me. No one ever did.That's when I did the only thing I could do. I walked up to him, and asked politely for my cookie back. (yeah, If politely means "threatening everything they know and love.") . . . (What?) How 'bout you have a nice big can of "You better shut up or I will sew your mouth closed." . . . Good. His reply was extremely vulgar. I'm not going to say it, but it had something to do with dead babies. After that, he pulled out something shiny. And sharp. It only took one good slice.
Chapter 2: Disputationi SilvaI awoke to the sound of a babbling creek, to moss, and to dirt. What I didn't wake up to, however, was light. This was extremely odd due to the fact that I felt completely refreshed. I stood up, and saw via the moonlight that I was in a heavily wooded area, that might be called a forest. At my feet were 7 things: My foam Nerf sword, that had all the foam on the blade removed, My Kindle Fire, which held my music, A pocket knife, that had some odd red fluid on it, A flashlight, which was on, A Glock handgun, Which I identified due to my time playing counter strike, A clip of bullets, presumably for the glock, and a wrist watch. I then tried to puzzle out Why this stuff was here, how it got here, and what purpose would they serve in the future. That's when another question popped into my mind: "Why is it so bright if it's the middle of the night? Even NC's nights were darker than this..." While puzzling these thoughts out, I took the supplies. The knife went into my pocket, as did the glock and the clip of bullets, which I tried and failed to load in. The watch went on my arm, the sword in the back of my shirt, the flashlight into my left hand, and my Kindle, which I unlocked, in my right. I decided to look up my music and listen to a bit of it, but all of it was stored in the cloud, and there was no internet. See the problem? I then went to the documents, to see if there was any fanfics on there that I had left. I only saw 4 files. Two were Minecraft fanfics, one was the user guide, and one was a file called "READ ME". Can you guess which one I read? Cuz' if you guessed Read me, you'd be right. All it says was this: "Welcome to the Timeless Forest. Make your way out before 9 AM, or perish." Well, isn't that lovely. Now, some of you may be wondering why I don't seem to be afraid of the fact that I was in some random forest at the middle of the night. Truth was, I was too busy contemplating what the hell I needed a glock for to care. I then checked my newly found wrist watch, and read it. (No, I ate it. DUR) Hey now, no need to insult the reader. Anyways, it said that the time was 12 Am, or midnight. After some maths, I realized that I had 9 hours until the deadline. That was not good. After all, I had no clue what to do. "So, I have 9 hours to leave? What happens if I don't?" However, the forest itself didn't seem harmful at all. I decided to look around and see what there was to see. I walked north, and this is what I saw: Plants. Shrubs. More shrubs. A lake. Creeks. Yawn. I decided to stop and take a break from the walk, and see what time it was. 12:30. Approximately, of course. This is when I decided to test something out. I took out the pocket knife, and the glock. I looked at the knife, and saw that it technically was a switchblade. The glock, which I had figured out how to unload, already had a clip of rubber bullets in it, and the bullets in the spare clip were lethal ammo. I then spent the rest of the hour disassembling the clip, and saw that a magazine held 15 shots. I reloaded the glock with the rubber bullets, and then tried to shoot in the distance. *click* "OH COME ON!" *click* *click* *BANG* "Yes! YES! AWWWW YEAAAAH!" So, the glock was working. Bad news, I was missing 1 bullet, and god knows when I'll get- Wait a minute, what's that? I heard a scream from the north!
Chapter 3: Suave LeviatánI rushed into the night, to where I heard the scream. What I saw was something out of a horror flick, designed for children. I saw a bunch of... horses? Ponies? Let's go with the second one. They all had ruby red eyes, which brought back memories of a song I'm fond of. Their skin was black, and hanging loosely on their bones. They seemed to be a zombie of some sort, and obviously had not be the source of the scream, but the cause of it. More notably, however, would be the smaller pony off to the right, in the corner of my eye. It (I'm gonna call it "it" because I don't know it's gender.) had short red hair, yellow skin, orange eyes, and was the only possible source of the scream. Unless I'm on some sort hallucinogen, this was real. So that's when I thought of why a small pony would be out here in the dark. I also thought of what weapons I had, wei- AHHHHHH! THAT ONE TRIED TO BITE ME! OH GOD RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRURNUNRUNRUNRUNRUNURNURNURNURNURNURNRUNRUNRUNRU GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TAKE THE PONY WITH YOU! *five minutes later* Phew... I think we lost them. What time is it? It seems to be 1:10. I had the small pony with me, who seems to be HORRIFIED of me. She's (I'm gonna assume that it's a she, due to how feminine her screams sound) only been wailing for the last few minutes, but now she was screaming "GO AWAY!" quite frequently. Due to this, I decided to try and talk to her. (for conversation, the pony will be in red.) "Stop screaming! I'm not going to hurt you." "Yah ya will! Applejack told me about the monsters in the Everfree Forest, but she never said anything 'bout a bear that walks on two legs!" "I'm not a bear! I'm technically a monkey. But, more to the point, who's Applejack? And isn't this forest called the Timeless Forest?" "Mister, ah don't know where ya got that name from, but this here forest is the Everfree Forest. Anyways, yall ain't gettin' the name of my sister from this pony! No sir!" Well, now we know her age. Only a child would make a mistake like that. But, you have to admit, her antics were adorable. "So, what's your name?" "Ah ain't telling ah monster my name!" "If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done so earlier." "How do ah know ya ain't lying ta me?" "We're in a secluded forest. I'm at least a good 2 feet higher than you. I have a knife and a gun. You are unarmed. Face it, in a fight, I would win." "... alright." "Good! Glad we agree. So, I've got a few questions for you. One, What's your name?" "Mah name's Applebloom." "Next, what are you doing in a forest in the middle of the night?" "Ah'm here ta get mah cutie mark!" ... ... ... "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" That was my immediate reaction to the rustling in the bushes that I heard. I turned around to where I heard it, and I saw one of those zombie ponies. I then preformed a roundhouse kick, which knocked it's head into the nearest tree. However, there was no apparent damage, and it continued to attack me. I then took out my knife and tried to stab it in the face. DAMN! I MISSED! C'MON! DIE! AHH! IT BIT ME! *Swosh* *STAB* *Thunk* Is... Is it dead? I think it's dead. That's good, cuz I feel a bit woozy. Do I have any tylenol? No, I don't. Maybe the pony knows where to find some. "Hey. Appleboom." "It's AppleBLOOM." "Riiiight. Do you know where I can find some painkillers?" "What are those?" "Pills." "Nope. Sorry mister." "Could you stop calling me that? i do have a name." "Then what is it, mister?" "Jacob Schott." "That's a funny name, Jacob." "Not where I come from. By the way, where is the nearest hospital?" "In Ponyville! Ah can lead you there, but I can't run that fast, so ya'll have to carry me." "So, if I hadn't picked her up when the zombies attacked her, she would be dead." "Alrighty then, you have yourself a deal. Hop on!" I was leaning over to let the pony on my back, and as she was surprisingly light, I could tend to my right ribcage. There was a startling amount of blood on my shirt, and it hurt like hell. "That must be where the zombie bit me... Let's hope there's no venom." Here I had a choice. Use up some of my clothing to make a bandage for my ribs, or move on. On the one hand, I'll bleed out much slower. On the other, I'll have to waste time making it, and I'm not that experienced in first aid. I decided to ask Applebloom if she had any first aid knowledge. "Hey, Applebloom was it? Do you know how to make a bandage?" "Nope!" "...Fuck. This. Noise. With. A. Hammer." "So, about how far are we from the hospital?" "It's in tha middle of tha town, and we're right next to tha edge of the forest." "Thank God with a basket full of blood." "Who's God? And what's blood?" "I'll explain after I get patched up." Just then, I heard a extremely guttural cry of rage. At this noise, I yelled at Applebloom to get off my back, and that I would handle this. I pulled out the gun, and dimly recognized the fact that it was loaded with rubber bullets, and if the target was a zombie, then i'm dead. The good news: the cry seemed to have come from a large orange pony with a hat. The bad news: the pony kicked me in the chest before I had time to get a shot off.
Chapter 4: Refocusing on the World.First thought of the morning: "You take Tae-Kwon-Do, you had a gun and a knife, and you still failed. Nice job, you retarded son of a bitch." Second thought: "Where am I? Am I dead?" Ok, I accidentally said that second one out loud. Whoops. Luckily, it seems that I attracted (HEY, ITS ME AGAIN!) ...You were going to point out the innuendo in "I attracted", weren't you? (Yep, NOW WHERE'S MY COOKIE?) It's in hell, now go fetch. (WOOF!) ...He's gone. Thank god. So, let's see, orange pony towering over me, Applebloom in the corner along with big red pony, WITH A PITCHFORK IN HIS MOUTH, hands tied behind my back, and my ribcage seems to have some bandages on them that DESPERATELY need changing. I decided to look at the orange pony and see if it might be sentient. It (same reason why I called Applebloom an it when I first met her) seemed feminine, although again, I could be wrong, so I will stick with it. It had green eyes, and some white freckles on her cheeks. I would call it kinda cute, but that may be an insult in this world. "You're in mah farm. While ya ain't dead, say somethin' wrong and you'll wish you'd be." Can you take a guess at who that is? C'mon, I'm just testing to make sure you aren't retarded. If you guessed the orange pony, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE A BRAIN, AND YOU'RE USING IT! YAAAY! That's more than can be said about for half of my school... Anyways, I better respond. "What's your name? And why am I tied up?" "Ah ain't tellin!" "Why?" "Cuz you tried ta kill Applebloom, maybe?" "Ok then, why isn't she dead then?" "What do you mean?" "If I tried to kill her, I most likely would have succeeded. So, why isn't she dead?" "Cuz I gave yah a buck to the head?" "Still, did she have any injuries?" "Yah, she did. A massive bite on her hoof. Explain that, buddy boy!" "Simple. She's smaller than me, and I would have to either lie on the ground or crouch to a level that it would be hard to move, so it couldn't be me. However, when I found her in the forest, she was being chased by these zombie-like creatures. I think that's where the bite came from." At this point, she (at least, I think it's a she) turned around and started talking to Applebloom. "Applebloom, is what this creature saying true?" "HEY! I'm not a creature, I'm a human!" "Yah Applejack! His name's Jacob, and he's not ah monster!" "Wait a minute... Applebloom?" "Yah? "I've been talking to your sister all this time?" "Yep!" "Ok then... That's shocking." "Applebloom, yah ain't answering me. Is he telling the truth?" "Yah, he is!" "Since I've proven my innocence, can you get these ropes off of me?" Of course, I still have some misgivings about Applejack's attack, but while we were negotiating, I realized something: If I was in Applejack's shoes, (Hooves, shoes, whatever) I would have done the same. "Ah'm sorry bout hogtying yah. And bucking you. And acting before thinking. Friends?" "Sure, why not? Just keep those hooves away from my stomach." We both shared a chuckle at that, although mine was cut short due to the pain in my ribs. And back. And arm. "But in all seriousness, can you get these ropes off of my arms? I need to go to the hospital. Badly." "Why partner, you already went!" ...WAT. "HOW LONG WAS I OUT?!" "Ah took yah to the hospital, at around two hours before dawn, and the operation was done at sunrise. You woke up about an hour later." "Wow. You kicked me rather hard then. Do you have any alcohol? That might help my pain." Unless I'm already doped up on painkillers... "Ah got ah small amount of cider." Now, before I continue, yes I am contemplating having some booze to help relive some pain when I'm under the legal drinking age. Ok? Ok. "Good! Could you lead me to it?" "Ah can't. The doctors told me not to give you any alcohol." "Well, alright." *grumble* "Ah think your a mite hungry. Wanna have some chow?" "I'm more than a mite hungry, but yes, breakfast sounds great." She opened the door that lead outside... whateverintheholynameofgodthatthisplaceiscalled and guided me around. The tour began in the apple trees, which is where the 'shed' that I was in lead out to. Applejack explained that the farm was called Sweet Apple Acres, and this is where the name derived from. I rebuted with this idle comment: "Apples are some of my least favorite fruits. I mean, don't get me wrong, an occasional apple is nice, but the only type of apple that I eat reguraly would be the sour ones." "Jacob, are yah trying ta get me to buck you again?" "No, if I was, I would insult your farm." "So then, what is your favorite fruit?" "Why don't you try to guess it?" "Bananas?" "NO. BANANAS ARE TERRIBLE." "Peaches?" "Nope." "Pears?" "I hate pears." "Strawberries?" "YES! I WOULD MARRY STRAWBERRIES IF I COULD!" The idle bantering went on... You know what guys? I'm gonna leave the rest of my trip to the next chapter. BAI
Chapter 5:WHY.So, I'm back. Sorry 'bout that, just had a sore mind. Applejack gave me one of her apples, and HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS THAT'S SECRETLY A FRIGGIN SHARK THEY'RE GOOD. Anyways, now that I'm revitalized enough to write, let's continue. So, lets see, we seem to be in a corn field. Wait a minute! Why would a farm called "Sweet Apple Acres" grow something other than apples? Is there some sort of lack of corn here? Is Applejack feeding her family? I better ask her. "So, Applejack." "Yah?" "Any particular reason why your growing corn?" "That's ah easy one. In three days time, we'll be hosting tha Summer Sun Celebration! The princess loves her popcorn!" "Wait a minute! What princess? What celebration? And will the popcorn be buttered and salted?!" This was the point where I noticed the fact that Applejack stopped walking and started staring at me. What did I do? "Are yah saying ta me that yah don't know who Princess Celestia is?!" "You have to remember, I haven't been here for more than 2 days." "She's the pony who moves the sun and the moon!" ...WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF GOD ON A POGO STICK MADE OF SHARKS. "WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT?! WHY DON'T THE SUN AND THE MOON MOVE ON THEIR OWN?!" Ahh yes, another one of Applejack's stares that make me feel as though I spoke Cthulhu. "YAH MEAN THA SUN AND THA MOON MOVE ON THEIR OWN WHERE YOU COME FROM?!" "Yes, of course they do! Why wouldn't they?" "Why, that's just plain silly! In Equestria, ever since Ah was ah little filly, the sun and moon were moved by Celestia!" "Yeah, and on Earth, ever since I was a child, the moon and the sun moved on their own!" "What next, are yah gonna tell me the weather changes on it's own?!" "Why, yes! Yes it does!" Silence. A whole, complete silence. Not a noise, not even the sound of me breathing. DEAR LORD WHAT DID I DO TO GET AN AWKWARD SILENCE AT THIS TIME. "So, what you're telling me is that Earth, wherever that is, has it's weather made by chance, and that you can't control it." "Yes, although, over time, we managed to learn signs to tell us what weather we're going to have." "That's ah load of horse apples." "It's true, I swear! Anyways, what's this celebration about?" "Well, the Summer Sun Celebration celebrate's Celestia moving tha sun everyday!" Well. That was obvious. "Alright, what's the next stop?" "Well, next up would be the kitchen, for some food." "I agree with this idea completely." So, we walked. And walked. And walked some more. Eventually we saw a red barn, which seemed to be the main household of the plantation. Since I was a bit tired, I decided to listen to some music. On low, of course. For some reason, this song popped up. FITTING MUSIC MUCH. Head bobbing was imminent, really. "And what in the hay are yah doing?!" Oh yeah... ponies might not know what headphones are. "Oh, me? I'm just listening to some music." "Yah, ah knew that! Ah mean, what are yah doing with your neck? It looks mighty hurtful." "Ahhh. I'm keeping in time with the beat!" "Well, that's mighty stupid." WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY. WHAT. SHE IS SO FUCKING DEAD. "WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN. YOU. THINK. IT'S. DUMB." "Ah mean, yah shouldn't go and hurt yer neck like that." Phew. Glad that was cleared up. Otherwise their would be a corpse here. "Yeah, I know, which is why I usually tap my foot. But sometimes, I get lost in the music..." Applejack's shaking her head... I wonder what I did wrong... "Well, we're here!" "THANK THE LORD! HALLELUJAH! Anyways, what are we going to have?" "We're gonna have some apple turnovers!" "Oh good! I enjoy apple turnovers, due to it being the only apple based pastry that I can stomach." OH GOD THAT'S AN EVIL GLARE. SHE'S STARING AT ME. "Well, partner, if yah don't like apples... then what are yah doing here?" "I told you, I'm not a fan of apples. Too sweet for my tastes. However, I have ONLY ever had an apple turnover. No other forms of pastries with apples in it. So, I'm willing to try anything you make. Plus, your apples are AMAZING!" OH THANK GOD. She's smiling. Phew, thought I was a goner. "So, let's eat!" I opened the door, and walked in the barn. What I saw would be best described as your stereotypical country dining hall, complete with a tableCLOTH. Emphasis on cloth. There was one thing that was missing, though. THE CHAIRS. AGGHHHHHHH. However, in it's place was NOTHING. Well, that's no fun. Wonder what we're eating. *ring ring ring ring* "Soup's on everypony!" "Soup." "What? Yah got ah problem with soup too?!" "No, I mean, is that what we're having for... what meal is this?" "Oh! Yah, we're having soup for dinner!" "Ahh. I see. What kind of soup?" "Carrot soup." Huh, why is she grimacing? I'll ask. "Something wrong with carrots?" "Nah. Just that the farm ain't doin very well." "Ok. Sorry to hear that, is there any way that I could help?" "Unless yah can make it rain, then nope." *knock knock knock* Huh? Who's there? "Well, aren't yah gonnna open the door?" Well then, Lets open the door! *Creaaaak* Those hinges need to get oiled. Behind door number 1 is... 2 Armored ponies. Huh? (They will be in.... Silver.) "Uhhh... hello?" "We're with the Equestrian Royal Guard, and you are under arrest." Jacob Schott.exe has unexpectedly shut down. "WHY?!" "You are under arrest for the use of illegal teleportation, and attempted murder. *Sigh* "Alright, I'll come quietly." Why are they so shocked? Did they really believe that I would attack? Oh well. Just when I thought things could change for the better. Well, look on the bright side, I get to meet Princess Celestia. Well, might as well think of a way to prove my innocence...
Chapter 6: A Trial Of Wits and FriendsHuh? Where are we? We seem to be at some sort of mountain. Wait, what? Are we going to scale the mountain? Well, I dunno. I can make a few guesses though. And, luckily, I managed to keep my Kindle Fire. They also didn't bind my hands. So, I can listen to music, which means I can have fitting puzzle music! YAY! I know what you're thinking. (or, I can guess.) You're thinking "Why don't you run?" Well, two reasons, one I'll reveal now. It's simple really, this way I can look into... whatever this mountain is, and what relation it has to do with... I guess the Equestrian Armed Forces? Alright, now let's see. Let's press the play button on my music, and begin. So, step one. Is there any obvious ways up the mounta- WAIT WHY IS There a cloth on m.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ok, interesting first though of the day: "Why do I seem to be in bondage gear?" Of course, that was my reaction to the fact that I'm chained to a wall. In a dungeon. Luckily, I am clothed and there are no whips or gags nearby. Or creepy monsters. Yes, that is my mental checklist if I ever get thrown in a dungeon. Not much to say, really, just your stereotypical dungeon. Oh, and my kindle fire is still with me. Too bad I cant reach it. Well, I guess we're gonna have to- *creeeeak* Oh look, the door's open! And there are guards. Yay. "Prisoner number 087, come with me." "I'm going to take a wild guess and say prisoner 087 is me." "Don't get smart. Your trial will be in 15 minutes, and you will be defending yourself. you will be prosecuted by Twilight Sparkle, personal student to Princess Celestia, and will be judged by Princess Celestia herself. Any questions?" "Yes, will there be a jury?" "No, there will not be a jury." "Will I be allowed to roam?" "Only under guard supervision." "One more thing. Will I need formal attire?" "No." "Thank you. Oh, and can you unchain me? Can't roam around with a wall on my back, now can I?" "Wait, what did you-" And he bursts into laughter. I don't think what I said was funny. "Give- Give me a moment! So, a fatty like you is going to tear down that wall?!" Oh. "Hey, no need to be rude. But, you do have a point. NOW BLOODY HURRY UP AND UNCHAIN ME." "Sorry. But, it's just so funny!" How long is this guy going to take... *Click* "Took you long enough. Anyways, what's your name?" "My name is Shining Armor." (oh, and from now on, Shining will be in blue.) "So, Shiny-" "MY NAME IS SHINING! GET IT RIGHT!" "Look, if you're going to talk to me, expect embarrassing nicknames." "Well, then Jake, glad you told me that now." "HAH! DEVIL'S PROOF! Back in my world, someone ALREADY HAD THAT NAME!" "So? they're not in Equestria, so it doesn't matter if the name is taken or not." .... .... .... DAMNIT HE HAS A POINT. "Y'know Shiny, I can see us being good friends. But first, I need to get this whole crime business cleared up." "So, what, are you gonna do it all alone? I'm here, you fool. AND STOP CALLING ME THAT." Well at least I have help. "Ok, so where to start? Let's see, the attempted murder is the easiest to disprove. However, since we only have 10 minutes, we can't gather evidence. So, might as well chat. First of all, who is Twilight?" "Depends. The pony, or the toilet paper brand?" "The pony. Mainly because it would be weird to talk about wiping you butt with crap." "Yeah. Anyways, Twilight is my little sister." "So, what you're saying is that I'm being prosecuted by your sister." "Yep." "And you're fine with that." "Yep!" "That is creepy. Oh, well, 5 minutes to showtime. So, what's she like?" "Well, she's very smart, and not very social." "Well. SHIT." "Hey, what's that for?" "She probably knows what's going to happen ahead of time. Which means, I'm dead in the water." "...Hmm. You really think that?" "Yeah." "Well if you're half as smart as you look, you might win." "What do you mean by that?" "Twilight's always one to take forever to make up her mind. However, you seem to be someone who can make a decision instantly." "Ah, so in other words you're saying I have an advantage of wits, as she's extremely technical." "Basically. Oh, and if you do lose, I can pull some strings." ....What did he just say? "Ok. Tell me the truth. Why do you trust me?" "Simple. No one comes to a world not of their own and then immediately starts a fight. And besides that, it's almost impossible to joke after trying to kill someone." ".... Huh. You do have a point there. Thanks for the trust." "But if you touch Twilly, I will hunt you down and make you wish you were dead." "Uhhhh.... I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the encouraging words?" "Well, It's time for you to get going. I'll lead you to the court room." And so, he got up, and my test began. It would be a test of wits and smarts, and the will to find the truth. Of course, I could be retarded and it'll be "Walk in, get arrested, walk out, eat face." But we'll have to find that out later.
Chapter 0: Me.Hello. As you can probably tell via the magic of descriptions, this is the story of me, Jacob Schott. But first, since you are probably not figments of my imagination, let me explain what I look like. I am about 5 feet tall, slightly overweight, pale skinned, and I have brown hair so dark that you would think it's black. My eyes are brown, although you wouldn't be able to see much of them due to my squinting. I have freckles on my cheeks, and other than that, I am rather inconspicuous. Got that? Good. Now, my tale requires a bit of backstory. I am a 14 year old Reformed Jew, who lives (lived) in North Carolina. I go to North West Middle School, and this is (was) my last year there. I hated that place. 90% of the children there act like they have IQ's so low that they make celery look competent. The other 10% weren't in my classes. Of course. I live (lived) with my mother and father, as my brother was in rehab for Tobacco and Weed. My dad and mom then decided I had to give a damn about school, and basically lost all free time to work, finding work, or making sure my grades were top notch. Life wasn't good, but I wouldn't say it was bad either. It was Meh at best. My parents weren't jerks, and a few classes piqued my curiosity. But then, on the 12th of March, 2012, something that would change my life forever occurred...
