(Chapter 1)Rule 8: Get a Kick-Ass Partner
Most people are knocked unconscious as they travel between worlds. 'Tis the famous stereotype, yes?
Not for me, apparently. I was twisted, stretched, compressed, and twisted again. Somehow, I felt no pain from this contortion.
The colors of the universe make for an interesting sight when spun wildly around your person. I saw pinks, blues, reds, greens, purples, and many shades of white. There was no lack of color, to be more general. But, I digress.
I could tell I was leaving the known universe. How I knew I was leaving the known universe in this trippy-as-fuck kaleidoscopic journey, I do not know.
After the feeling that just about a half hour had passed by, just waiting for my destination to "arrive", I felt myself phase through some or other sort of barrier. Galaxies that previously sat behind me seemed to now be before me.
"Nothing is ever as it seems" a demonic voice echoed menacingly in my mind.
before I could comprehend that phrase, I accelerated to well beyond the speed of light, most likely 900K times the speed of light, whereas previously, I was going about 50K times the speed of light.
The galaxies rushed by; ten, twenty, fifty, one hundred, two hundred. The galaxies just continued to pass by, seemingly a never-ending minefield of galaxies.
That is, until my course was suddenly diverted. I took a sharp right, almost a 90 degree turn, and integrated myself into the galaxy.
I rapidly slowed down as I neared what I knew and understood to be my new home until my death.
As I felt my speed decrease to less than the speed of light, a solar system came into view.
I lazily floated past the sun, and my course redirected to the only planet in this solar system.
I entered the outer atmosphere, falling by my own power (finally) through gravity.
I didn't feel any heat as I fell, nor did I feel scared about possibly splatting on a local.
The ground looked like it was nearing slowly, the wind whistled in my ears, and my clothes flapped in the updraft.
I laughed and pointed face down, straightening my body. The view of the planet from just inside the atmosphere was beautiful.
As I reached my new terminal velocity, I knew impact was within one minute, but I couldn't wait to get off of this single-person, trans-universal, and unorthodox travel method.
I impacted the dirt face-first, but I felt no pain. Then I promptly blacked out.
Departure time: 7:15 AM
Arrival time: 11:32 AM
"Is it alive?"
"I saw it stir a few minutes ago. Who knows?"
"Is it one of . . . them?"
"I don't think so. It doesn't look rotten to me."
I then felt something blunt poke my cheek.
The object poked my cheek again, and again a few seconds later. And again. And again. And again.
"Ah, quit pokin' me" I groaned drearily. I rolled onto my back.
"What’s wrong with its face? It looks funny"
I feel the object in question poke me again.
I open my eyes, and shield them from the sun. "Whaddaya want?"
I quickly and stupidly scrabble away from the object in my face, a double barrel shotgun. My back edges up against another thing, and it kicks me off gently.
"Get off," it growled.
I quickly scrabble away from the voice, and get into the center of a circular humanoid barrier, consisting of about 15 of the humanoid figures.
That’s when I get a good look of their faces. It almost seems a cross between human and horse.
An elongated muzzle and ears on the top of the head. Also, every . . . pony, maybe? Yes, pony . . . every pony was a different color than the one next to it, whether it be hair/tail color or coat color.
"Hey there. We watched somethin' fall from the sky, and, lo and behold, here you are, in the exact spot we expected a meteorite to land." a middle-aged, dark brown . . . pony . . . said to me, bemusedly.
I noticed what looked like feathers hanging behind his back, and I leaned over to get a better look.
The pony noticed my leaning and looked over his shoulder. "Whatcha see?"
I slowly stood up, and walked around the . . . the pony, and looked at his wings.
"Ah, them things? They ain't been used, stranger. Can't be used. Still a mite sight to look at, though."
I looked at him as if he were crazy.
"What, you ain't never seen a Pegasus before?"
I didn’t reply immediately; I walked back to the center of the circle, and sat cross-legged.
"No." I said simply.
"No?" the Pegasus asked.
"No." I clarified.
"No what?" the Pegasus asked again, confused
". . . no, I haven't seen a Pegasus before," I said.
Suddenly, a guttural scream called out in the building to our immediate right.
"Aw shit! We stayed too long! You good with a gun?" the Pegasus asked me hurriedly. He pulled me to my feet, and started to hand me a .25 cal rifle.
"Erm . . . not exactly. I actually prefer blades." I say, shivering from the bad memory
"Get this boy a stallion's blade!" the Pegasus called out in a more commanding tone than earlier. "Trixie, analyze the situation!"
A sky blue . . . mare? . . . Whatever . . . a sky blue mare with a horn on her head jogs up next to me and the brown Pegasus. Her horn lights up, and her brow furrows in concentration. As quickly as the face had come, it had disappeared.
"Low buildings will provide excellent cover to our backs, but will throw vertical safety out the window. Multiple buildings in close proximity able to house up to 95 Z in total. Chance of survival . . ." her face pales slightly under her coat.
"Less than five percent" she says, hanging her head.
"If we're gonna go out, we're gonna go out fightin'" the Pegasus says.
"Sir, here is the blade you asked for." a rust-red unicorn with yellow eyes said from behind us. He was holding out a jet-black blade with an inward curve; I didn't recognize that blade style. The grip and pommel were ivory white, and the pommel held a ruby.
The Pegasus grabbed the blade without looking at it, and handed it to me.
"It’s called a Kukri. Kill as many of 'em as you can, but also protect the guy next to ya with it."
"A second one, if the boy wishes to try his luck." the rust-red pony said, and held out an ivory-bladed copy of the black blade. The hilt was black, with a sapphire in the pommel.
"If you care to know, the name of the ebony blade is Hate, and the ivory's name is Love." the pony said.
"Love and Hate." I say aloud with a smirk. "I like them already."
"Everypony, get to the middle of the street! Form a circle. Gunners on the inside, melee on the outside. Melee let the gunners deal with whatever these things are until your target is within weapon reach. Gunners, change your fire rate to semi-auto and aim for the head!" I bark out.
"What about cover?" a pony called out as we relocated our group in the middle of the street.
"Your neighbor is your cover." I growl, just loudly enough to be heard.
Loud banging was coming from all the doors of the buildings around us, almost like something was trying to break the doors down with their fists.
"by the way, i didn't catch your name." the brown pegasus said next to me.
"Aiden Marshall. Yours?" i asked.
"Russman. Just Russman" he replied.
I nod, take a combat stance with Love and Hate, and mutter, "Get ready . . . to rock." More to myself than to the ponies surrounding me.
My Xbox 360's cooling fan gently whirred to life as I pressed the power button on the console faceplate. The TV went black for a second, and then the power-on animation for the Xbox 360 gaming console started. I opened the disc tray, placed a rental game in the tray, and closed it.
The game loaded, and I selected "play game" on the Xbox 360 dashboard. I skipped past the game intro by repeatedly pressing the A button, as I had already seen it many times. I pressed the Start button when the game prompted me to, and I selected 'New Game'.
I was brought to the character selection, but something was not right. Sam B's face wasn't exactly the right shape, nor was his skin tone.
The other four character's faces and skin tones were also morphed to similar appearances as Sam B.
Nothing else seemed to happen, so I selected the newest playable character, John Morgan, the Hand-to-Hand expert.
I was then given the option to: 1. select a preset skill distribution from level 15, 2. start at level 1, or 3. start at level 15 and distribute the skills myself. I grinned happily, and selected 'Begin at level 1'.
I watch through the pre game-play intro with no quirks other than the ones noted before.
When the game was just about done with the intro, the screen went static and shut off, as did my Xbox 360.
"What the Hell!" I growled.
The screen turned back on, but the words upon it will forever curse my mind: “Jehrnjv lwlg ljdi, mjd mg jlwlg srmjvli"
"Nothing ever ends, and war never changes" I unconsciously muttered.
I don't know how I understood that code so well, but before I could comprehend its meaning, two black tendrils rapidly snaked out of the TV, grabbed my arms beneath the shoulders, and whisked me into the black expanse of nothingness that was my TV.
