A Foal in Sane

by Adorned ungulate

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Silver Spoon, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Scootaloo, Cake Twins
Length: 25626

So I've gotten my cutie mark, an awesome big sister, I can fly (sort of), and I make a pretty good living. So why do I feel so restless?

Yeah so I'm Scootaloo. Everypony knows me, one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders? Kinda silly keeping that title. We've all found our marks now and have settled into what I guess adult life is suppose to be. I've learned how to fly for the most part and I've got a good job though it means dealing with the family of my least favorite mare in town. And Rainbow Dash still hangs out with me doing the big sister thing when she has the time. I've achieved pretty much everything I dreamed of as a filly... so why do I feel so discontent?

Published 2014-01-16 02:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-15 15:59:06 UTC

Chapter One: Luna Lucid Mode

Evening in Ponyville is sneaky. Night slips in like an uninvited socially awkward party guest. I guess it’s a reflection of Luna’s continuing search for self-acceptance. I give her tips sometimes on her visits but I imagine she’ll still feel tense in crowds when my foals have foals of their own. Times like these when I’m coming in from my last delivery I love to admire her work. I find a spot with a nice view and watch the orange rays sink down and the stars appear, big planets first. I look over at the silhouette of the highest tower in Canterlot Castle, knowing ol’Big Midnight is there causing all this. Blessings to you, Luna.

Dad calls this time of evening the gloaming and I call him a pretentious pseudo-intellectual and we laugh. I enjoy a little quiet and self-reflection every now and then, privately lest it ruin my adrenaline junkie reputation. Seeing the moon rise is refreshing for reasons I am not poetic enough to express. Plus it reminds me that somepony is always looking out for me.

There's wood smoke and pollen scenting the air. The ambient light dims my surroundings all at once. Nighttime wildlife venture out. Nice.

I'd better get going, though. I wanna get out of this uniform. Let my scooter off idle, kick off, wings are going and I'm on my way. I don't dare travel at my preferred speed in my cargo scooter. It's too much of a tank. But I push it as far as I can. Hoof traffic is light but I manage a few dirty looks anyhow. Swing around Town Hall, shortcut through Rue des Amis and I'm there, Filthy Rich's Barnyard Bargains. Why do I work here again? Yah, they were my biggest clients anyhow.

I park by the freight entrance next to my usual ride. I don't bother to lock up my scooters. No pony would dare touch them. Snips tried riding one once for a laugh and ended up with more bruises than just hitting a lamp pole would necessitate.

Pass by shelves of merchandise towards the administrative offices. I've got to steel myself for the last unpleasantness of my workday. I take today's delivery fees out of my bags and plunk the bag of bits down on the secretary's desk. "Here ya go." I'm already turning to leave. No need to stretch this out.

"Thank you. I'll have your wages ready tomorrow as usual, Scootaloo." Ugh, that prissy polite voice. I can almost sense the venom underneath. She probably didn’t even bother looking over the lavender frames of her glasses What I find most off-putting is her insistence on wearing clothes all the time. Today it's a tangerine colored sundress. No offense to Rarity but it seems like putting on airs. She still rocks the thick braid and just styles her bangs differently ever so often.

"Yeah, okay Silver. Night."

I dreamt of getting away from the likes of her every day when I was a filly and now I have to deal with her on a regular basis. It would be less confusing in a way if she was her old antagonistic self but ever since he started working here a few months back she's been suspiciously polite. It makes me wary, like she's working up to something.

I could be totally independent, buy my own telephone and telegraph. Not like they're terribly rare in Ponyville. I could hire my own Silver Spoon. But I'd ride away with less bits. Barnyard Bargains handles all the boring stuff.

At my locker I hang up my pillbox hat and give my jacket a sniff; haven't pitted it out enough to warrant laundering. At first I wore the one we found when trying to get Apple Bloom out of Family Application Day. This one is several sizes larger. I managed to convince Miss Rarity not to make it too fancy.

Slap my helmet on and get back to my usual ride. Soon I'm speeding through the streets of Ponyville. Shops are closing up. Bonbon is closing the shutters at Sweet Drops Confections, Twist is probably inside sweeping up. Lamps are lighting up and there is a pleasant orange glow all around. I hang a sharp left spraying the side of Legal Advice and Marital Aids with gravel. Sorry for the mess (actually I'm not sorry in the least). It's a straight shot home now.

I park and make my way inside. Dad is on the couch in front of his writing desk, likely penning a letter to his marefriend. They've kept up the long-distance thing all these years. It's kinda cute. He primly sets his quill down in the inkwell.

"Hey, honey bunch."

"Evening, dad."

"I made a Cobb salad and hay fries. Help yourself."

"Thanks!"

He doesn't ask me about my day figuring if I had something to share I'd tell him. We've been living on our own since I was a kid and have learned to respect each others privacy. I quickly refuel then go up to my room to get my guitar.

"Dad, I think I'll go up to Sweet Apple Acres. Don't wait up for me, k?"

He smiles. His cinnamon coat had dulled a bit with age and he's getting laugh lines. "That's fine, dear. Could you put this in the mail on the way out?"

I sigh dramatically. "If I must! Love ya." He gives me a nuzzle and I head back out into the night air.

I take a break from practicing to take a long pull of my bottle of cider. A.B. is above me at the top of a latter fixing up an apple brandy still. From the oaths she's been muttering it's been a stubborn task.

“Scoots, could ya kindly toss me up a three-eighths socket?”

I set my instrument down and root around in her toolbox for the right doohickey. With a whip of my head I toss it up to her. I hear her teeth close in around it and muffled thanks. After a while more she addresses me. “Somethin’ botherin’ you, Scoots?”

“Why do you say that?”

“Yer playing ‘Dad Music’ again.”

I groan and hoofpalm. He would be so giddy if he knew the mopey college colt tunes he endlessly subjected me to had taken a hold in my psyche all according to his plan.

“Yeah, I guess you could say I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts lately.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

I sigh and reach for a fresh bottle myself. “I just feel so pent up at times. Like, what am I doing, working for Diamond Tiara’s dad? It’s like I’m wasting my time running everyone else’s errands and in a round-about way putting bits in the pocket of the pony I hate the most. It’s not what I wanted to do with my life.”

A.B. grins and cuffs me on the shoulder. “You probably just feel restless because it’s not racing season. Just you wait until we get the Mockingbird Mark III up and rolling. You’ll be streaking so fast past Blithe you’ll likely spin her around in circles!”

I looked over to where my racing scooter’s new experimental engine hung down from chains attached to the rafters. Yeah, sure I would feel better once the racing circuit got going again. I always have. Funny, sometimes Apple Bloom is more obsessed with team Sweet Apple Engineering beating our most persistent rivals than I am. Maybe it’s a family feud with Blithe’s kin.

“Getting into the winner’s circle would sure as sugar cheer me up, A.B. but I think it is more than just off-season itch.”

“You should go out on a date, then. You always are in a better mood when you’ve got some colt or filly between yer legs, makin’ ya grunt.”

I toss a bolt up at her flank. “Pssht, that’s just what I need, complications to my love life! I refuse to let you vicariously enjoy romantic drama, you vestal virgin.”

With a squeak Apple Bloom slides down the ladder, slips off her engineer’s cap and shakes out her cherry red braids. She nixed the big pink bow years ago after she got caught in machinery and had to holler for Big Mackintosh to cut her loose.

My friend sits down next to me and opens up a cider of her own.

“Just because ah’m waitin’ for the right stallion to come along doesn’t make me some prude so don’t give me that. Are you feelin’ blue since you haven’t achieved as much as y’like?”

I shrug. “Maybe, Rainbow was captain of the weather team when she was just a bit older than I am now.”

“Success don’t come without a lot of honest sweat and close planning. Look at me. I haven’t had any orders further afield than Hoofington not counting Apple family favors. Ah try not to let that get me down in the dumps though Celestia knows I dream of more.”

“Yeah thanks, A.B. I’ll try not to let it run my night.”

My emotions still swirled around stubbornly. I just didn’t want to go further into it. She’s a real good friend to me but her blunt optimism (and occasional thudding depression) just sends us around in circles when I try to confide my feelings with her and I didn’t have the energy to get into that tonight. Instead we drank liberally and engaged in our usual gossip. Not my favorite pastime but I do it for Apple Bloom. She gets cooked up in on the farm either running Sweet Apple Engineering or helping out with farm work while I go anywhere and everywhere and can relate all the goings on. We chat. I tell her how Rumble failed his weather team entrance tests, again, much to Thunderlane’s consternation. Also Pipsqueak’s latest hijinks and how he again charmed his way out of consequences. Oh, and Twist and Snips had their semi-regular explosive argument in the marketplace. It seemed to be their favorite pastime.

I soldier on for a bit but the cider takes its toll and I let out a yawn. “I’m getting kinda sleepy, A.B. Mind if I crash here in the loft? I don’t want to drive into a ditch on the way home.”

“S’fine with me, Scootaloo. I should hit the hey myself or I’m likely to be ornery in the morning.”

Pretty soon we have the place tidied up. My friend gives me a hug. “Good night, dodo. See you tomorrow.”

“Pfft. Goodnight yourself, loopdy hoop head.”

She trots off and I grab a firefly lantern and fly up to the loft. It’s a bit high but not beyond my ability. I’m about to settle in when something on the wall catches my eye. It’s words chiseled into the beams, probably a remnant of slumber parties past. Beyond the names of various fillyhood crushes there are things like “CMC 4 EVER” and “RAINBOW DASH RULEZ”. I chuckle to myself as I run a hoof across the crude handiwork. I just can’t force myself any further. Curl up for some shuteye.

All I see is white light. I’ve got to squint against it. Okay, starting to make out some detail: a huge oak table, tiny teacups, big girly kettle. Oh, no. I know where I am now. Our old clubhouse is a familiar enough place though it isn’t cluttered with blueprints and drafting tools like it is these days. Looks like it did when we were foals. All the angles are wrong though, the geometry doesn’t make sense. It’s all looming and imposing. I touch my throat and sure enough my crusader cape is tied around it. Ah well, might as well make the most of this and pour myself a drink.

“Strange…” A booming voice reverberates off the walls originating in a wisp of darkness coalescing at the opposite end of the table. “The setting is cheerful enough, though this is a nightmare unmistakably.”

“Hey, Luna. Good to see you. Tea?” I’ve found it makes the princess more comfortable if you behave casually. She is nearly completely here now, as large as she was when I was young. Though her royal finery have been exchanged for her own red cape and an admiral’s hat made out of an issue of The Foal Free Press sits atop her billowing star-strewn mane.

“Well met, little Scootaloo. Could you explain why you dreamt of this place?” She daintily sipped as she studies our surroundings.

“I guess I’m worried I’m stuck in some kind of a rut. It’s been years since the Cutie Mark Crusade ended but I’m still here in Ponyville spinning my wheels.”

“You fear stagnation. This place that once gave you such comfort and aspiration now becomes a trap?”

I just shrug, too abstract an idea for my speed.

Luna won’t let me off the hook. “How have you changed from your time then,” she gestures around the room. “to the pony you are now?”

“Well, I didn’t have my cutie mark back then.”

“You were crusading for it back then.”

“Yeah but I got it, didn’t I?” I look down at the birdie on my flank. I think back to my dreams the night I earned it, how I cried into Luna’s mane as she stroked my back and then rearranged the stars into the image of a thrush to cheer me up.

“You were questing for it back then… It wasn’t coincidence that I found my way into your dreams, Scootaloo. I had my eye on you before then. You are a special breed; I’ve known many ponies like you, passionate dreamer. Pity those who get what they quest for because they fall into complacency and despair.”

“Hey I wasn’t the only one! There were three of us, and Sweetie and Apple Bloom are doing just fine.”

“Let us consider your friends for a moment.” Luna gestures to a crayon drawing on the wall and a crudely-drawn Apple Bloom starts frantically prancing around on the page. “Take for instance your self-styled leader. She too wanted her destiny so badly and wanted it immediately. But she cared not what form her mark would take. She inspired you all to search so frantically as she ignored her natural leadership skills, shrewd deal making sense, and mechanical talents.” The image freezes in place and instead Sweetie Belle stirs and looks like she is trying to hide behind her own tail. “And the peacemaker, did you know she didn’t really want her cutie mark par se? She merely wanted to fit in, not have her flank draw attention to herself, to not be bullied?”

“I didn’t know that…”

“She hid from her special talent, in fact, because it required her to be the center of attention. She only received it when she became comfortable displaying her wonderful voice.” The princess turns her sad, ancient eyes on me again. I’ll never quite get used to those big aqua orbs. “But you, Scootaloo. You knew what you wanted so dearly.”

Can’t keep eye contact. “I wanted to be just like Rainbow Dash. But I couldn’t. I’d never even make it on the weather team much less do the things she’s done. Is that what’s bothering me?”

She sits back, towering above me. “One needs not a fancy necklace to embody loyalty. Are thee not loyal to your friends, and your hometown?”

“I guess.”

“You may not have her flight ability, but did you not work hard as any Wonderbolt to get where you are? Are you not the best at what you can do?”

I looked over at the crayon version of me leaping happily around a drawing of Rainbow Dash. “I don’t get what you’re telling me.”

“You need to make new goals for yourself, lest you keep finding yourself in here. Focus on your life right now and look for opportunities for greatness. Always strive for something. It’s in your nature. You shan’t be happy lacking grand aspriations.”

“I’ll have to give this some thought. Thanks, princess.”

Around us the walls are fading back into bright mist. “Ah, our time grows short. Fare thee well, dear Scootaloo.”

“Catch you later, Black Snooty… Oh! Say hi to Archer for me.”

She smiles warmly, almost sisterly. I shall pass on your regards, fare thee well!” Everything goes all bright and swirly.

Suddenly I’m cold and have the last remnants of cider intoxication fuzzing up my mind. Next time I do this I should ask A.B. for a blanket, I forgot how cold it gets up here. Might as well start my day. If I leave now I can have a nice one-sided conversation with Big Mac as he watches the sunrise. Big stretch! I shall give some thought to what Luna told me.

But not just yet.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoy my tale of teenaged Scootaloo. You may wish to check out my previous story "The Rise and Inevitable Liberation of Scootadad" but it is not required reading for this one. I may discuss mature themes but there won't be much actual scenes of such in the story.

You can play the home game by assembing the A Foal In Sane mix tape, all music available at the Blacksquares Bandcamp page: http://blacksquares.bandcamp.com/
This chapter, Tape 1, side A, track 1 was inspired by Luna Lucid Mode by Cats Millionare off the alubm Pony Songs.

Chapter Two: Kung Fu Action Gripe

"Think about it, I handle all your quill accounts just fine. But your high volume clients are just who, the library, school house, mayors office? Occasionally Legal Advice and Marital Aids? I could have Sweet Apple Engineering whip me up a flatbed trailer. Independent suspension and everything. How great would it be to offer sofa delivery in just an hour after showroom purchase?"

The merchant looks me over skeptically. "What about getting the merchandise into the buyer's homes? If I had to send one of my stallions with you I would just be adding an extra expense."

"Hey, I can get a sofa up three flights of stairs in ten seconds flat. Who took the Ponyville Friendship hoofball team to regionals two years in a row?"

"Alula."

I hoofpalm. "Alula and...?"

Chesterfield rolls his eyes. "And you, Scootaloo. I'll think it over." He passes over a package of quills into my cargo basket and goes back inside.

"Alright. Remember Thrasher Deliveries is here for all your delivery needs."

Hard sell, that one. I drop it off at the library. It was still weird not having Princess Twilight there but the old nag they hired from the Crystal Empire is nice enough.

Speed over to the market next. I hope Miss Fluttershy doesn't dally too much or I'll be late for the afternoon train's freight delivery. I should charge her extra for the distance but hey it's Miss Flutters. I love her to bits. Besides she always tips me really well. She could do these errands herself, I think she only hired me as one of her charity cases.

Produce acquired after a little haggling over asparagus I enjoy a scenic trip to the edge of the Everfree really letting the throttle out. I idle up to the cottage and ring the bell on my handlebars. One does not just barge in on the butter yellow pegasus. Seraph bunny opens the door and scowls at me, thumping his leg impatiently. That little jerk was more ill-tempered than his daddy.

"Whatever, dude. I'm coming." I gather the basket of goodies on my back and enter. "Oh, hi Miss Rarity. Heard from Sweetie recently?"

The prim mare levitates her teacup down. "She is well. And you?"

"On my grind as usual. Afternoon, Fluttershy."

"Hello, Scootaloo. Um, your bits are on the counter."

I nod and empty her supplies. Quite the selection considering the menagerie she cares for. Creatures are scurrying and flapping around. The sitting room as usual.

"Sweetie will be coming home for a visit in a few days, you should arrange a visit."

"That's great! I'll let Apple Bloom know. See you next week."

"Drive safe."

"I'll let you know if I need any fabric bolts delivered, darling."

With the help of a few shortcuts and a close call or two I reach the train platform just in time, giving the stevedore a brohoof.

"Heya, Scoots. Big load today. May take a few trips."

"The Barnyard Bargains stuff can wait, I'll get the Corner next."

I trot into Sugarcube Corner with my clipboard in my mouth. No pony is behind the counter, I just see the two Cake twins working on their homework at one of the booths. The filly looks bored, eyes half lidded as she rests her cheek on a hoof and really goes to town chewing on the end of her pencil. I dig her side-pony hairstyle. The colt taps on the table as he stares frustrated at his papers.

Better go ring the bell and- "Hi, Scootaloo!" I flap up a few feet in surprise. Hate it when Pinkie does that! She already has bags of flour and packets of spices and marzipan in her front hooves as she balances on her hind legs.

"Hey, Pinks. Where's the Cakes?" I look around again and see the colt twin has noticed me as is gaping with huge eyes, the top of his impressive pompadour quivering. In a flash he is gone, leaving a cloud of flour dust in his wake. The sudden movement disturbs his sister. Her elbow slips and her head thuds down on the table fast asleep.

Pinkie was unphased. "Prolly in the back. I'll get Mr. Cake while I put this stuff away."

Oh no. I was hoping for Cup. I have no idea why but Mr. Cake has really been mean-mugging me lately like he got some sort of a grudge. What did I ever do to him? Well, there was that one time. And that other thing... surely be can't still remember that. That was years ago. But what about...

"Yes, Scootaloo?" There he was lantern jaw stuck out and staring daggers.

"Afternoon, Mister Cake. I just wanted to talk business with you. Do you think it would help if I handled transporting some of your big catering deliveries? Might have less product disappear that way." As if on cue a glass cloche protecting a display of cupcakes jostles. A few crumbs remain where once there was a zap apple frosted confectionary. Pinkie is nowhere to be seen.

Carrot Cake just looks at me. "I don't know, Scootaloo. Can you be reliable? Can I really trust you with precious cargo?"

"Haven't you been pleased with my delivery services so far?"

His eyes narrow further. "I'll think it over, young mare. I'll keep my eye on you and give you an answer soon."

"Heh, better than a no I guess." I want out of this now. This is uncomfortable. Finally Mr. Cake passes my delivery fee over. "See you Monday, Mr. Cake!" Hope that was a cheery smile and not a grimace of fear. When did Sugarcube Corner become the nexus of weirdness in Ponyville?

"Barkeep! A mug of something cold and frosty of you please."

Berry Punch gives me a hard steady squint as she strolls over. "I don't want no trouble here, Scootaloo."

I shrug. "What? I'm not here to upset anypony. Just here to relax after a hard day with some delicious liquid refreshment... Just like that guy." The stallion is likely a dedicated intoxicant imbiber since he is practically passed out in a puddle of cider.

Berry joylessly serves me and clops off, mad-dogging me over her shoulder. Princess Luna on a pogo stick is everypony going to hassle me tonight? I could drink for free at the Apples'. I only came to the Spider since I heard Cats might play and she doesn't get down to Ponyville much anymore. Dad says she's touring promoting a freaky new concept album about a pretty puppy boy who runs away from trapeze school and hides behind the walls and ceilings of an office building, fixing little personal problems of the workers when they aren't looking and the janitor falls in love with him thinking he's the spirit of his late lady love... Or something. Never know with that mare.

"Evening, Scootaloo."

I tense up as I hear that familiar prissy voice. CAN THIS DAY GET ANY BUCKING WORSE? "Hi..." Put your hoof to your chin and muzzle over your mug so she gets the hint.

"You had a pretty hectic week, bet you art grateful for the weekend."

"I guess... Silver Spoon, why are you even talking to me?"

"Just trying to be cordial. We work together after all."

"You were so mean to me back in school, I keep waiting for you to throw the other shoe."

"That was years ago when I was more immature. I've changed since then. I assumed you had as well." She stirs her girly mixed drink like this was some sort of resort and not a proper filthy dive bar.

"I've changed but not forgotten, Silver."

"Sorry to upset you then." She didn't sound sorry. Not as sorry as I wanted her to be.

I brooded over my drink for a minute or two. "Why'd you do it anyway?"

"Hmm?"

"Torment us, what did we ever do to you?"

"Did you ever wonder why Diamond Tiara and I went to public school here in town and not some private academy somewhere?"

"No." Where was she going with this?

"We did for a while in fact, a place up in Canterlot. But we asked to come back home."

"Get into too much trouble over there?"

"We were being teased very harshly, mostly for being from Ponyville. In our social circles that's just how a pecking order is established. It's how wealthy foals interacted with each other. I suppose it sunk in and we were let loose in a more placid ecosystem back here at home it kind of went to our heads. More importantly in my case I just wanted to remain close to Diamond and went along with whatever behavior she demonstrated. It was more a game to me than a personal grudge and when you three retaliated it seemed natural to keep it going. Felt like you were playing along. I didn't hate you or anything. I wanted to feel powerful and secure."

"That doesn't make up for what you did."

"I never said it did, I was merely explaining myself. I was foolish and regret what I did for what it's worth. I'm certainly paying the price now."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Think about it. I spent so much social capital befriending and impressing Diamond and while we still are friends she's off in Manehattan and I'm still here surrounded by peers I used to bully. Look around. This is the kind of rural town where ponies our age either go out to make their own way and come back once married to raise a family, or pair off early and work the fields. I don't have much of a social circle anymore. Forget about dating. I would have to find a colt with so little self esteem that he wouldn't mind my past behavior, be too daft to remember or care about it. That leaves a potential suitor pool of one."

"And Snails is peculiar."

"Exactly. I'm having to resort to answering lonely hearts adverts in Canterlot. Not the sort of future I envisioned."

"So move away yourself if you find this place so terrible."

"On the contrary I like it here, but I burned too many bridges socially. I'm not in the same sort of business as Diamond that would require higher education. Our silver smith business is local. The only reason I work where I do is to build practical skills for when a member of my family retires."

"That's very sad, Silver but I still remember the hurtful things you said. I'll keep things copacetic at work but it'll take time for me to see you in a different light, okay?" This was giving me a headache.

She nodded and sipped her drink. "There was something I was warming up to tell you before we got this all in the open. Diamond Tiara is coming home from college for a while. She's going to be taking on a managerial role at the Barnyard as part of her studies so be prepared for a performance evaluation soon."

I let my head hit the bar and groaned. This day just got worse.

"I just thought it fair you knew and had time to prepare. Have a good weekend, Scootaloo." She slipped off her stool and sauntered off. That was confusing. She did me a favor and explained why she had been such a terror as a kid but she hadn't exactly apologized either. I really need to send this cider to my belly and add a couple of friends so it ain't lonesome.

"Berry, keep it coming please."

Author's Note

Why do you think Mr. Cake is upset?

Title track provided by EAT BABIES! off the album Fur
available on the Blacksquares Bandcamp page.

Chapter Three: Floundering

Mom’s cooking ain’t the best but I make it a habit to come over for dinner every two weeks or so. Her dog doesn’t move as fast as she used to either but she makes short work of the last few bites when I lower my plate to the floor.
I look over at my mom as she rinses the dishes. I like to check her over for new artwork when she isn’t looking. Seeing as she’s married to a tattoo artist she’s kinda become his walking business card. I’m not terribly fond of Needles but I must admit he does good work.

“How’re the classes going, mom?” Mom doesn’t get as much dancing gigs as the years wind on so she started offering burlesque classes at the community center as a “fitness” alternative. Keeps her from getting too soft around the edges as well.

“Getting a few new walk-ins. Maybe I need to work on my instruction skills.”

“You should ask Miss Cherilee for some tips.”

Mom gives me a wink as I slip my plate into the sink. “Who’s to say she isn’t a client of mine already?”

“Ha! Miss Cherilee! That I have to see.”

“How about you, dear. How’s work.”

Can’t help but sigh. “I’ve been busting my flank trying to grow my business but everypony seems to hold some sort of grudge!”

“Almost as if you’ve been terrifying them with daredevil antics all your life.”

“Celestia wept, mom! Move over so I can run some cold water on that.”

She giggles. “Just playing Discord’s advocate, dear. Your reputation earns you respect on the racetrack but can be kind of a liability for ponies trusting you with fragile deliveries.”

“Dad treating you well?”

“Spoiling me rotten as always.”

“Tell him I said ‘hi’.”

“Sure thing, mom. Thanks for dinner and the brutally honest observations.”

“Anytime, Scootaloo.” She gives me a nuzzle. “Don’t be a stranger.”

I think about our conversation while flying home. There’s got to be something I can do: highlight how I can save clients’ money, time, less hassle? I’m the fastest pony in town and I can deliver nearly anything, this shouldn’t be so hard. Sure, I may not be the best flier. It’s a struggle for me to get above the rooftops. But try to beat me on two wheels and you’ll get humiliated. Maybe there’s something I’m missing…

I’ve got a pretty good relationship with my mom now. It’s easy to feel anger towards her but I try to think of her as the pony who gave birth to me and will always be a part of my life for that reason rather than a mother. That helps. She just wasn’t prepared to be a mom, I see that now. After she moved out she mostly would visit when bored or depressed instead of doing much parenting. I was talking with Granny Smith about it one day and she told me that a part of growing up is realizing your parents are just ordinary ponies and not perfect and that I just came to that realization about my mom when I was little and learned not to expect much. She was more like a moody teenager when I was a kid and I guess I’ve caught up and she’s an adult friend of mine and it’s my turn to be the moody teenager. It helps that dad was always a reliable figure in my life, giving as much comfort as needed. Celestia knows he’s not perfect. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time or was preoccupied being sad or overwhelmed. Maybe he gave me too much freedom I dunno. He did his best. That’s all any of us can promise. Weird what goes through your head on a flight home. Better concentrate or I’ll hit a tree or something.

Dad is relaxing in the courtyard, and his special sompony Helvetica is with him. “Hi dad! Mom says ‘hi’.”

“Evening, honey bunch. Productive day today?”

“I guess. Could be better. Hey, Helvetica. Your mom here too?”

The brown-coated unicorn nods. “She’s inside. You should have a word with her before she turns in.”

Quill is like my favorite old lady next to maybe Granny Smith. I wouldn’t do what I do if it weren’t for all her crazy military stories sparking my imagination. I hurry inside. “How’re you, Mrs. Scrivener?”

“Scootaloo! Come here so I can give my favorite courier a hug.” She’s gone a bit nobly in the knees but she was the fastest running unicorn in her prime. “Are you doing well? How is your racing career going?”

“Once Apple Bloom gets my new ride up and running I’ll let you know.”

“And your regular work?”

“I’m trying to gain more customers but it’s a slog.”

“Be dependable as you can when you’re in your uniform but try not to take your troubles home with you. Hang your frustration next to your hat. You can’t take professional rejection personally, dear.”

I thank her for the advice as we chat a bit. The Scriveners have soaked up a lot of that Canterlot culture but aren’t stuck up about it. Maybe that’s what attracted dad to Helvetica. I like them well enough, they’re more open minded than a lot of the townies and don’t make me feel stupid in comparison.

I’m chilling in my room when dad knocks on my door. “Got a minute, Scootaloo?”

“Sure, dad. S’up?”

“I’ll be taking some vacation time next weekend, Helvetica and I are going on an airship ride through northern Equestria. I’ll leave some bits for groceries before I leave.”

“Cool… you’re gonna finally ask her, right?”

Dad just smiles and shrugs. He’s been so deliberate not to have his marefriend take mom’s place and always gets all bashful with me on the topic. “I think I will, yes.”

“Bout time you put a feather in her mane. Good for you dad.”

“Thanks, dear… Oh, and about the party that you are too much of a rebel to ask permission for.”

I try to act pure of virtue. “Whatever are you talking about, father?” I hope my doe eyes still is effective. I never was able to perfect Sweetie’s signature move.

“Be sure to put breakables and valuables in my room and lock the door.” He turns to leave before adding more. “And Pipsqueak isn’t allowed in the house. I’m still replacing gaps in my record collection from the last time he played D.J. Tell him I’ll wring his stupid little cockney neck if he darkens my door.”

“Daad, okay. Whatever. Hope you have fun.”

“Goodnight, honey bunch.”

“Night, dad…” Sweet! Got a party to plan.

Apple Bloom and I are relaxing by the lake after an afternoon dip. She’s chewing on a strand of grass while I sun my wings. It’s a perfect lazy afternoon. A thought drifts into my mind so I voice it.

“Dad’s going to ask Helvetica to marry him.”

“Great! Time he make an honest mare of her… That means he’ll need a good caterer, right?”

“Luna’s tears, A.B. You’re always looking for business.”

“Always be closing, you should take notes from me. Applejack will probably insist as a wedding gift anyhow. Helvetica’s a newspaper reporter, right? Maybe the Daily’s food critic will be there’ it’d be worth it just for the exposure. Might get an expose out of it.”

“You are such a grifter.”

“It’s in the Apple family genes.”

“Something’s bothering me about it though.”

“Don you like the Scriveners?”
“Yeah, they’ve been family to me for years. But dad works in Canterlot Castle. The newspaper offices are there too. What’s keeping them from moving up there? Dad may have a desk job now but he’s getting too old to fly all the way out there and back every day.”

“So?”

“So I don’t want to move and I couldn’t afford rent at our place by myself.”

“Weren’t you just complainin’ how Ponyville was feeling too small for you the other day?”

“I said I was in a rut, there’s a difference. Doesn’t mean I want to move.”

“We’ve been lucky to live with our folks for so long. You’ve seen the shack Twist and Snips had to move into. And they make it work somehow. Shoot, I know I’ll always have a place on the farm and there’s plenty of room here if you want to move in till you find yer own place.”

“You kind of infuriate me sometimes with your practical roundhead advice sometimes. Sweetie would have sympathized with me and let me talk about my feelings for a bit.”

“Hey, if someone comes for me looking for a meal I give them a nutritious dinner, not a bunch of cotton candy.”

I settle my chin back onto the grass. “Sometimes I want the cotton candy.” We fume for a bit like we always do as if smoke was coming out our ears. Then I lazily break the silence again. “So he’s going out of town next weekend, so house party at my place.”

My second longest friend perks up immediately. “I’ll see if I can rustle up some kegs! Sweet, pity midterm break isn’t for a bit and Sweetie can’t join us.”

“Yeah… got some planning of my own to do.”

The low evening sun provides perfect conditions for checking my reflection in a store window. Let’s see, hat in place, mane rakishly styled but not messy, collar unwrinkled, wings preened. Gotta make a good impression. I walk my scooter in front of the jewelers and stroll on in right up to the counter. And there he is. He’s got one of those eye things gem cutters use pushed up on his head. I’ve never been this close to him. They really are translucent, especially his mane and tail. They are a deep red-purple and I can see the wall right through it. Damn, he’s beautiful.

Then he speaks to me. “Are you here to see Miss Amethyst? She has gone out for the day. Do you have a delivery?”

Most ponies would be filled with dread but I love this moment. I take a breath in and savor that split-second. It’s like when I’m about to pull a stunt on my scooter. It’s like when I contemplated jumping Ghastly Gorge. I could plunge forward or I could wuss out and abort, make up some sort of lame excuse; I’d hate myself later. If I go through with his and it doesn’t work out whatever. I don’t know this colt. It has zero consequences to be brave, or foolhardy depending on how you look at it. There is infinite possibility opening up below me. My brain feels like it’s in freefall. Love it!

“I’m here to talk to you, actually.”

He quirks his head slightly to the left. “Really, do I know you?”

“I don’t think hardly anypony does, that’s the point. I’ve seen you around in the last few days but I don’t think you got a Pinkie party to introduce yourself around. So here I am. I’m Scootaloo. Pleased to meet’cha.”

He bashfully rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, she did try to throw a party for me but I ducked out as quick as I can. I’m Jacinth. Nice to meet you.”

“Figured you would be the shy sticking out as one of two Crystal Ponies in town. Hey, I’m having a get-together at my place this weekend. I’d like to introduce you to my friends. It’ll be a low pressure atmosphere. Casual.” I hope my smile will do the trick. Don’t waiver as he pauses. Stay on target… he’s on the precipice now.

“Small gathering?”

“Teensy.”

“I guess that would be fun, then.”

“Jacinth you are a gentlestallion and a scholar. I’ll pick you up here Six-Thirty-ish?”

“Sounds fine with me, Scootaloo. Thanks for thinking of me.”

I give him a wave and concentrate on not tripping or doing something equally dumb on my way out then I dash into an alley and take a deep breath. That went well. To be honest I don’t really know why I was inspired. I was serious when I told A.B. I didn’t want a special somepony. Maybe with Diamond Tiara coming back into town I wanted to get my stink all over him before she did. Luna knows Amethyst Star Jewelers will be one of her first stops. And he is gorgeous and the sort who doesn’t seem to realize it. It’s a super attractive combination. This party is going to really turn things around for me.

Author's Note

The Scrieveners are from my first three stories, so if you want to learn more about them or Scoot's parents check out my other stuff.

Title track for A Foal in Sane mix tape, track 3, side A, tape 1 is “Floundering” by Triangle Giant from the album Holiday Snaps available for download at the Blacksquares Bandcamp page.

Chapter Four: Beach Party

No matter how many times I go over my mental party preparation checklist it feels like I'm missing something. Thank Celestia for my friends for taking care of the food and drinks.

"Apple Bloom, Twist, thanks so much for lending a helping hoof. Don't know what I'd do without you."

"Prob'ly run around like a headless chicken."

A.B. smirks at her tired old joke, lamely thinking it'll get my goat. Twist spoils it for her by dragging us into a group hug.

"Thaths what friendth are for, Thcooataloo! I can't wait for the fethtivities to thart."

"You better git along and collect this new fella of yers. Don't want him to think you ain't interested."

"It'd be pretty classic of me to blow it before it can start. Okay, I'll head out if you don't mind getting things going on this end."

A.B. shrugs and Twist gives me a sly wink. I should really take more relationship advice from her, she's the only pony in my circle who's managed a sustained successful relationship though everyone suspects Twist and Snips like to keep things fresh with excessive public drama. Maybe it's just so they can make up afterwards. It's a mystery no pony is really willing do delve into.

"See you soon, girls...You're the best!"

I'm off speeding across town at a nice clip. As I said I'm not the best flier. It took me a ton of effort to get where I am today. If I need to get somewhere in a hurry I've developed a style kinda like a thrasher where I flap like crazy to gain a little altitude then soar for a bit for speed. It works quite well though it makes ponies nervous when I wiz by a few hooves above their heads.

Anyway I soon arrive at Amethyst Star Jewelers and sure enough Jacinth waits for me with his red-orange mane and tail glinting in the sunset's rays. He's a pretty stunning specimen.

I land a comfortable distance away as gracefully as I can. “Hey there, are you ready.”

“I think I am, Miss Swallowtail. Thanks for this invite.”

“How’d you learn my last name? Been doing research on me?”

“I mentioned I was going out to Amethyst and we talked a bit.”

I grimaced. “Good stuff, I hope.”

“Other than warning me not to take a ride in your wagon, yes.”

“Heh. Well, if you follow me I don’t live too far away.” He gave me a disarming smile and nod and we walk in silence for a bit. “So why did you move away from the Crystal Empire? I love to visit there. Are you related to our librarian or something?”

“I know of her but we are not relations.”

“So what gives then? The Empire is pretty cool.”

He gets this really stern look. “For all of you my homeland is this strange place that was forgotten to history and just appeared one day. For us we’ve been part of the modern world for around a decade and still have one hoof a thousand years ago. Empress Mi Amore has helped us transition with the help of our traditions. It helps that we are so isolated and could slowly reacquaint ourselves with the rest of Equestria. But if you look around you’ll see a lot of crystal ponies my age living abroad. Our elders call us a lost generation.”

“Why’s that?”

“I was just a foal when K-king Sombra enslaved us. There’s a few who are even younger though, infant mortality was high during that time. The Restoration was a huge relief and I still make a point to visit for the Crystal Fair every year to charge and be replenished by the Crystal Heart- but the old ways just don’t hold the same comfort as my parents. No joust, fluglehorn, or petting zoo will keep me from remembering that dark time when I’m home.”

“Well why Ponyville of all places?”

Jacinth perks up a little. “I wanted to move closer to our savior, maybe even get to say ‘thank you’.”

“Yeah but Princess Twilight lives in her castle in the woods now, comes into town quite often though.”

“While we acknowledge it was Twilight Sparkle who discovered the Heart I was actually referring to the dragon Spike.”

I gave a very unladylike snort followed by a chortle. “Spike! Spike is your great hero?”

My date seemed perplexed. “Of course, he and the Empress delivered the Heart to us and banished Sombra forever. Have you met Spike?”

“Met him? We used to go out for doughnuts and coffee all the time! I’ve seen drawings he’s made of his crush that he hides in the back of his writing desk. Of course I know him. Do you guys have like statues in his honor up north?”

“Of course.”

I can’t fend off a laughing fit imagining these monuments. “I’ll be sure to introduce you to the Great Dragon Hero Spike when I get the chance. It would be an honor. I just hope he lives up to your expectations.”

He smiles but I can tell if he was a pegasus his feathers would be rumpled. “I’d like that.”

“I hope you grow to feel at home here. There’s a lot of friendly ponies who live here who’ll make it a point to make sure you feel welcome.”

“I hope so. I’ve felt rootless for far too long. What about you, how’d you end up in Ponyville?”

“When I was born my parents lived in a pegasus bedroom community outside Canterlot; but when it was clear I had trouble flying they moved here so I wouldn’t wander off a cloud and turn myself into a little orange pancake.”

That coaxed a horrified chuckle. “Good thing!”

“Yeah I’m a bit of a weak flier, that’s why I got the scooter.”

“Was it hard to adapt?”

“Took some time to but some ponies can’t even walk so I consider myself lucky. My friends, parents, and big sister were a great help and comfort to me.”

My date says something in response but I don’t hear it because somepony catches my eye. It’s Silver Spoon walking down the street and yes there she is. It’s been like two years since I’ve seen her last but my stomach knots up when I spot Diamond Tiara. She’s wearing her hair a bit differently now and wearing a ridiculous, rather frou-frou dress with lots of tulle.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just spotted somepony I’m not too fond of. Don’t think she spotted me though.”

“I was starting to think everypony was a friend of yours in one way or another.”

“Eh, I’ve accidentally broken too many windows around town to win popularity contests with anyone but the glazier.” I flash him a rakish grin hoping a little flirting will ease my mood. “Case in point, I know what the heck a ‘glazier’ even is.”

“You can’t win everyone over, I guess.” He shrugs. “Hey, am I going to meet your parents?”

“I live with my dad and he’s out of town for the weekend. Mom lives over there a bit on the west end of town.”

“Interesting, are you close with your dad?”

“We’re thick as thieves sometimes. But now that I’m older we’re kind of transitioning into roommate-level especially now that I have a job. He’s getting remarried soon and I don’t know what will happen.”

“You should really have that conversation.”

I smirk. “Kind of forward of you there, mister; but yeah we probably should.”

We arrive at my place and the music is already playing complete with colorful flashing lights. Jacinth gives me a look. “Tiny get-together, eh?”

“Heh well maybe it grew a little since I asked. I’ll stick with you and won’t leave you with a bunch of strangers though! C’mon, I’ll introduce you to my friends.”

The party has spilled out into yard. I see a familiar colt sitting underneath a tree chatting with Featherweight. His companion waves to us and he turns address us. “Wotcher, Scoots! What’s this about me not being allowed inside?”

Ah, Pipsqueak, Ponyville’s preeminent carouser. If you go on the town with him you’re assured a crashing good time. But reliably things will usually take a sharp left turn around two or three in the morning resulting in hurt feelings, strong words traded back and forth, and frequently law enforcement getting involved. But you can’t deny his charm. He looks at you and you get this tingle down your spine and flush like your body wants to make itself warm and accepting. Bad boy, Scootaloo. Resist. Dance with the one who brought you. “Yeah, it was dad’s one rule. Still sore about that time you played DJ. Sorry! Don’t worry, I’ll come out and visit after I’ve made the rounds.”

Pip rolls his eyes and blows his bangs out of his face, a move that is sure to make a filly’s knees weak. “S’okay, often time the overflow is where the best time is at.” He fishes his flask out of his hoodie pocket. “Care for a nip?”

I turn to my companion. “Pipsqueak here has been dolling out beverages on street corners since his opened up his first lemonade stand. Always has the good stuff, though.” I take a swig. “Pip, Featherweight, this is my new friend Jacinth. He’s newly moved in from the Crystal Empire.”

“Nice ta meetcha, mate.”

“Welcome to Ponyville, man!”

“Later, guys.” I give them a wave. I give Jacinth a look and a reassuring smile. He seems to be taking this all in stride. Then we encounter a loiterer near the front door. “Hey, Snails; having a good time?”

Snails just looks out into the distance for a beat or two more than is comfortable, his head nodding out of time to the music, then he looks over at us. “Oh hey, Scootaloo! Great party you have here.”

“Thanks, buddy. Uh, mind moving to the left a little bit?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” He steps away and goes back to being in his own little world. Seems like a pretty pleasant place.

“Is he okay?”

“That’s just Snails being Snails, don’t worry about it.” The party is progressing nicely. About a dozen ponies are out on the makeshift living room dance floor. Pinkie Pie is unsurprisingly behind my dad’s sound system. We’ve all learned that actually inviting Pinkie to a party is merely a formality; her Pinkie-sense will lead her here eventually and everypony has collectively learned to just roll with it. I head over to the kitchen as that’s usually the nerve center of any house party. Truffle Shuffle is helping prep the food Twist brought in. Dinky is sitting on the counter laughing at some joke Lickety Split is telling her, probably oblivious that he’s trying his hardest to flirt. Coronet and Applecore give me warm greetings before refilling their cider cups. Finally I find the two I’m looking for. “Jacinth, I’d like you to meet two of my closest friends. Apple Bloom, Twist, this is Jacinth.”

“Howdy, partner! Pleased to finally meet ya.”

“Hello.”

“Hey, Twist, where’s Snips?”

“He went out to the thore for more ith.”

“Explains why Snails looked so lost.”

Twist took off her glasses to inspect them for smudges. I know she has a lot of affection for Snails but has understandably mixed feelings for her coltfriend’s third wheel. I give my date a playful nudge with my rump to get his attention. “Want to grab a drink and a bite?”

“That’d be wonderful, thanks.”

A.B. seems fit to burst; she’s been waiting for the opportunity to grill the crystal colt for intel. “So how’d like working with Sparkler? You must be a mighty fine jeweler.”

“Miss Star has been very kind to me. I’m very happy to land an apprenticeship with her. She’s got a lot to teach me. I’m surprised she settled in such quiet little village.”

“Well tourism has jumped since Princess Twilight’s coronation. Ah’m sure she gets plenty of business. Lots of us folk like the pace of life here where you can catch yer breath but are just a short trip away from Canterlot. Let us know what we can do to make you feel more comfortable.”

“A steady supply of this cider will do the trick, it’s amazing!”

Apple Bloom beams. “It’s a Sweet Apple Acres specialty!”

“The food is fantastic too; is this your work, Twist?”

“Aww, you’re just trying to get on my good thide.”

We settle in, chatting and greeting various friends and acquaintances. As the host I can’t just sit back and lamp. One in particular catches my eye and I call out to her. “Hey, Alula!”

“Hi, Scoots. Thanks for the invite!”

“Diamond Tiara is back in town, you should go pay her a visit.”

The yellow coated pegasus stomps excitedly with her front hooves, her face lighting up like a pinball machine. She glomps me into one of her too-strong hugs. “Oooh, thanks for letting me know! I should get my mane done.” She beats a hasty exit.

Apple Bloom nudges me on the shoulder. “Scootaloo, that was a downright evil thing to do. If Sweetie Belle were here she would give you a proper talkin’ to. Give me a hoof pound.” I laugh and oblige.

“What just happened?”

“Just inflicting a pest with someone she considers a pest. Alula is big-hearted filly; she just doesn’t know how to read social cues.” I settle onto the couch. Everything is going well. Party is bumping. Ponies are having a good time. I’ve got a cute boy by my side. It’s quite an accomplishment. That is until Twist interrupts my good vibes.

“Thcootaloo, Archer just arrived. Did you invite her?”

I tense up enough that Jacinth picks up on it. “Is something wrong? Who’s Archer?”

I groan internally as my stomach feels full of acid. “She’s my ex.” I place a hoof at the back of his neck. Strange how his mane doesn’t feel cold though it looks like something made of glass. “Look, I’m going to go talk to her. I said I’d keep you company but why don’t you hang with the girls and away from potential drama.”

And he gives me a smile. Pretty colts like him are not usually my type but hot damn. “Okay, Scootaloo. Good luck.”

“Thanks.” I get to my hooves and my joints feel like I’m Granny Smith. I scan the room and yup, there she is chatting with Snips and Button Mash. Probably reminiscing about school or some bucking thing. She’s got her back to me. I’ll never get used to her coat being a darker shade of indigo, the tufted ears but of course she hasn’t turned to look at me yet. Everything else kind falls away as I make my way over. “Hey, Archer.”

And she turns around. Oh, those eyes. Those chilling slit irises. Amber colored eyes. Oh, my dear Princess Luna what did you do to her? She came to you and returned changed.

“Scootaloo, how’re you doing?” She smiles and I can kind of see my girlfriend again.

“How did you hear about my party?”

“What, am I not welcome in your home?”

“Nah, you are. I’d just like a little heads up first, you know?”

She nods. “Ran into your dad at the castle and he said you were probably throwing one. So I got in touch with Featherweight since he usually knows the details on these things.” In the corner of my eye I see the little bastard flit away out of reach. “I sent in a leave request to Princess Luna and to my surprise she approved it. One of these days you’ll have to fill me in on what little thing you two have going. I hope it’s okay that I came.”

I just shrug. “Archer, what have you even been doing? Why didn’t you write instead of dropping in on me like this?”

“There’s not much I can say beyond Night Guard business I’m afraid, Scoots. Hey. It’s good to see you.”

I nod. “It’s good to see you too.” It’s agony to see her. “I gotta see to some stuff. Enjoy yourself, okay.”

She doesn’t press the point as I drag my hooves back to the couch, dread washing over my brain. So that’s good, I guess.

“You gonna be okay, sugar cube?”

“Maybe… I’d rather see her around or never ever again but not to just turn up out of the blue like that.”

“What happened between you two?” Jacinth looks concerned, and utterly adorable. It lightens my dark mood just a bit.

“She left. Found a higher calling. Poof, like a magic spell.”

Nopony knows how to salvage the situation so I just close my eyes and drift off into the music for a bit. I’m not sure how much time as passed when there’s a sudden jolt that sends dishes clinking and books tumbling off shelves. “What in Celestia’s sun-spangled flank was that?” There’s a bit of commotion as a bunch of us bottleneck to the front door. Once I get outside I see several ponies pointing to one of the distant mountains along the Unicorn Range to the west of town. A big purple cloud angrily boils down from the sky spitting out green lightning. Now there’s an ugly glowing gash in the sky.

“What is THAT?” Jacinth seems terrified.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Princess Twilight will take care of it.”

“Are you crazy? Why aren’t you worried?”

“Look, Jace, you live in Ponyville now. It’s a sleepy little village ninety percent of the time but we’re on the edge of the Everfree. Every now and then some beastie stomps out and we deal. There probably isn’t a building in town that hasn’t been rebuilt or repaired in the last decade. Most ponies keep saddle bags handy with important documents, a few bits, and some trail mix just in case we have to evacuate. It’s just a part of life.”

“I’m very sorry, Scootaloo. I’ve had a great night but this is too much for me.”

“Jacinth, I-“ He’s already ducking out. Great. Not even a hug?”

Archer slides up to me. “I’d probably get back too. I think this qualifies for cancellation of leave. Take care of yourself, Scoots.”

“Uhh.”

Pinkie Pie comes bouncing by. “Me too! Former Element Bearer business.”

Apple Bloom, that wonderful mare, gives me a hug. Then Pip offers his flask again. “Here you go, Luv. You look like you need this more than me at the moment.”

I drain the thing. No way could my party take such an abrupt swan dive. I look around at all the ponies hurrying back to their homes and loved ones. “Right!” Time to get myself back inside and take charge. I barely hear Twist chastising Snips for trying to slink away. “Come inside, Pip. I’m using my emergency powers to revoke your banishment.”

It’s annoyingly quiet inside besides worried muttering so I cut through it. “LISTEN UP my friends. I understand if you need to get home to your families. It’s okay. But ME! I’m throwing a PARTY here. Sure, I could check up on my mom but not in the mood right now. But you know what? I’ve always wanted to say ‘when the sky was crashing down I was dancing in a party that refused to stop’. So for you ponies who want to stick around, I say thank you my friends. LET’S GET THIS GOING AGAIN!”

I pick a record out of dad’s collection. It’s the shrill one about the dead rising and walking around, the one with “parthenogenesis” in the chorus. He used to tease me until I could finally pronounce that word. Seems appropriately apocalyptic for the mood so I throw it on. I look around and smile at my remaining friends. Most are too fuzzed by booze to grasp the dire situation but I love them for staying just the same. I’m in a bitter vindictive mood and I refuse to budge. So I get another drink or four. I mingle and laugh over old stories and absurdities. I shut out any commotion that may or may not be going on outside because I’m having a GOOD TIME and buck the consequences.

Events, ponies, and words kind of blur and blend together eventually and next thing I know I’m lying in my bed and morning sun is assaulting my eyelids. I try to move my head and it feels like the world tilts. Ah, that unpleasant but kind of wonderful feeling of waking up the next day still half drunk. Great. I settle back down because it is so warm and comfortable and somepony nuzzles against my belly Oh Luna’s Blue Teats I’m no alone in this bed! My eyes shoot open and all I can see is wheat-colored mane. I lift up my head, swimmingly and see periwinkle-grey fur.

“Dinky Doo?”

She glances down at my wing that is draped over her belly. “Oh, hello Scootaloo. Good morning.”

“Dinky, did we… did we have sex last night?”

“Uhhh. I don’t think so.”

Thoughts and emotions tried to engage in my brain but just couldn’t manage to make sense of this. If I were to make a list of the ponies in town who I would likely wake up next to nowhere on the list would be the most sweet-hearted childhood acquaintance of mine. I just couldn’t puzzle how this could have happened.

“Scootaloo.”

“Yeah?”

“I imagine you are confused and embarrassed right now and trying to think of the right thing to say but could you just hold me for a while? I’m sleepy and you really made me comfortable. That okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” I snuggled up next to her again and returned my head to my pillows. I didn’t want to think consequences through right this second. Sure, stranger things have happened across Equestria but this was truly a weird end to a strange disastrous night.

Author's Note

How does a filly get herself into these situations?

As usual the A Foal in Sane mix tape is brought to you by the Blacksquares Bandcamp page. Side A, Track 4 "Beach Party" by EAT BABIES? is off of the album Fur available here: https://blacksquares.bandcamp.com

Chapter Five: No Obligation

Ohhh, what am I going to do? You really are a low down dirty diamond dog, Scootaloo, potentially seducing the most innocent kind-hearted young mare whom you’ve known for years. What-am-I-going-to-do? What-am-I-going-to-do? Oh Tartarus, got eggshells in the batter again. Gah, she’s floating them out for me. She’s talking to you, Scootaloo. Pay attention! Something about last night, okay let’s do this.

“And then she totally shot down poor Rumble in front of everypony! Poor guy, he didn’t deserve that. I honestly have no idea he has so much trouble finding a special somepony; I know a lot of us would make eyes at him in school. Maybe it’s a self-confidence thing, right?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Why don’t you sit down and have some coffee. This next part is sort of a one-pony job and you still look pretty out of it. Have another cup of coffee, maybe.”

“Okay, Dinky. Thanks, by the way. I was getting hungry.”

“It’s the least I can do for letting me stay over. I told mom where I was so I’m not worried that she’ll be worried.” An icicle of fear stabs into my heart. Dinky’s mom had a similar reputation for having a huge heart but she can turn into a she bear when her daughter’s safety is concerned. If I break Dinky’s heart who knows what would happen.”

“Least I could do, really.”

“Mom always says ‘now Dinky, dear, if you go to a party and have too much to drink find a trusted friend to stay with instead of trying to wander home; better if a marefriend because you don’t want to end up with a little muffin in the oven like I did’!”

“Wait, what? Is that why nopony has met your dad?”

She turns, sighs, and puts a hoof to her heart (the one not holding the spatula). “Yeah, he and mom were just two young lonely ponies brought together in a night of passion and too much drink. He has a family out in Fillydelphia. I go and see him every summer.”

“I always assumed he passed away in some tragic accident or something.”

“Most ponies do. We haven’t kept it secret but not too many ponies ask about it.”

“Huh… Wait, you consider me a trusted friend?”

She gives me one of her crackerjack smiles and sets a plate of flapjacks in front of me. “Of course, silly. You always would stick up for the little foals around the bullies. Most everyone thought of the Cutie Mark Crusaders as friends even if we didn’t want to get roped into your little projects.”

“That’s very sweet of you to say, Dinky. Thanks.” Sweet Celestia, these pancakes are good! “Dinky, these are amazing!”

“Yeah, mom’s recipe; we don’t live off muffins alone contrary to reputation.”

“I should have you over for breakfast more often!” Geez, Scootaloo; mixed messages much?

“It’s a hidden special talent, I guess.”

Talk of special talents brought a stray thought up like a lazy alligator surfacing for breath. “Speaking of special talents, what do you do for a living? I hardly see you around town anymore.”

For the first time this morning my companion seems guarded and defensive. “Oh, I’ve got an apprenticeship out of town and mostly come by to visit mom. I was just lucky that you happened to be throwing a party during a visit.”

“Ah, that working out well for you?” I ponder her cutie mark, a rabbit and a top hat.

“Snakes and latters at times but I’m working up to a big project. Don’t ask, though. It’s a secret.”

“No worries.” I’m having a genuinely good time. It’s going to make me feel like even more of a rat fink when I tell her I’m not interested.

She’s still being a little chatterbox as we walk to her mom’s place. I try to stay in the shade of tree branches away from the glare of Celestia’s accusing sun. Getting some food in me only partially helped keep a hangover away. Step by step closer and I still don’t know the right way to say without hurting Dinky’s feelings. You’re a real rat, Scootaloo. Before we know it we’re almost to the Doo residence, built above the postal office. I take in a breath but Dinky turns to address me.

“So, Scootaloo. Listen, I had a really good time last night despite all the commotion and it was kind of you to let me stay over and you’re a really good sunggler but, listen. I’m not really looking for a special somepony right now. But hey, if I’m in town and you’re wanting some non-goal-oriented cudding let me know. Okay, sweetie?”

“Uhhh, okay, Dinky.”

“Great! You’re the best.” She gives me a hug and peck on the cheek before turning and bounding up her stairs, shouting for her mom, acting like a little filly again.

I gotta sit down for a while. The buck just happened? Dinky beat me to the let-you-down-easy speech? To me? What I even?

I’ve got to jet to Sweet Apple Acres! I don’t really care of everypony knows what happened between me and Dinky last night but I want a few details filled in before rumors start to spread. Ignoring my throbbing head I make good time and find Apple Bloom in front of her workshop assembling a thresher. She gives me a wide lopsided grin and there’s mirth in her eyes.

“Well, well. The lothario awakes. How ya feelin’, Scoots?”

“A.B. what exactly happened last night?”

“You don’member? You precious pegusai and unicorns can’t hold yer drink like a self-respecting earth pony.”

“Jzzt, just spare me the riffs and let me in on the facts please?”

“Well, the night was gettin into the small hours an only a few ponies were hangin in there. Pip behaved himself, surprisingly behavior-wise though he was makin’ lots of lewd comments. He and Snips left to make sure Snails made it home an didn’t end up sleepin in the park again. Dinky was helping us clean up but dozed off droolin on the couch. You offered to take her place an give up yer bed. So Twist and I finished up tidyin and I went to check on you. Two of you were kissin an tumblin’ all over each other like two squirrels in a sock so I just closed the door an let you be.”

“Oh, wow.”

“Should have known you’d turn out like yer old man; spellbound firefly chasin’ after unicorn fillies.”

“Apple Bloom!” I practically snarled.

“So how’d it turn out? You goin out with her again anytime soon?”

I worried my lip. “Uhh, actually. She gave me the that-was-great-but-lets-be-friends routine.”

“Pffft!” She couldn’t keep the laughter in anymore. “You me you, YOU got seduced by Dinky Doo?”

Daggers. Your eyes are daggers. Stab and twist. “Not funny, Apple Bloom.”

“That’s too much! It’s like losing an arm wrasslin match with Angel bunny or something. What, you couldn’t resist her charm? Cast a love spell on you?” I socked her in the arm. “Okay! Okay. I’ll let it lie. Guess it was a mixed bag kind of an evening but everythin turned out sort of for the best.”

“I’d rather have spared the drama. But thanks for seeing me through it.”

“Crusader Sisters forever, Scootaloo.”

“Always!” I trick her into a hug only to attempt a wrestling hold on her. No way I was letting her get away with teasing me like that. As athletic as I am against Apple Bloom farm-raised solid muscle she’s pretty much an even match. We roll and laugh all over the hay-strewn yard until her sister shows up.

“Apple Bloom, Scootaloo! What’s all the commotion about?”

“Nothing, Applejack!” we call out in unison.

Okay, got a good night’s sleep and the house cleaned up. I’ve got just one more loose end to tie up. The little bell jangles when I enter the jewelry store and Amethyst Star looks up to greet me. “Hey, Scootaloo. How are you?”

“Fairly well. Is Jacinth here?”

“He has the day off, I don’t know where he is I’m afraid.”

“Oh. Could you relay a message for me? Just tell him I understand and I’m not upset?”

She gives a sober nod. “Of course, Scootaloo. I will. I checked in on my little sister this morning, she says you kept her safe during that little crisis Friday night. I’m very grateful.”

Get that uncomfortable grimace off your face, Scoots! “Heh. Thanks! It was no problem. I’m sure anypony would have. She’s a good friend.”

“If I can trust you with my baby half-sister maybe I can trust you to pick up my uncut gemstones from the train station.”

“Great! I’ll come by on Monday maybe and we can work out a contract.” Exiting a few minutes later I let out a long breath and crack my stiff neck. This weekend has had a lot of twists and turns.

Dad finally arrives home and rushes right up to where I’m lounging on the couch. “Scootaloo, are you okay? I heard what happened after I got back.”

“Yeah it was no big deal, Dad. Twilight took care of it. Some dishes got chipped but I’ve already been to Bargain Barn to replace them.”

“Thank Celestia.” He gives me a hug. “You sure you’re okay?”

I debate the pros and cons of bringing it up for a few beats. “Not really. Archer came to the party and kind of threw me into a tailspin.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She said you told her about the party.”

“I guess I did. Thought I was just making conversation at the time.”

“Daad, don’t interfere in my relationships. Mainly where Archer in concerned, okay?”

“I’m very sorry, honey bunch. If I knew it was an issue I would never have talked to her.”

“It should be understood, she’s my ex-marefriend dad!”

My father sits next to me and takes my hoof. “You’ve never told me the circumstances of your breakup. I thought it was amicable.”

“It wasn’t dad, okay?”

“What happened?”

I sigh and look off into the distance. “She just left, okay? She left to join the guards and I didn’t know where she was until her parents told me days later. I didn’t know if she was dead or ran off with somepony else or what. It made me feel worthless, not worth the respect to even break up with. I don’t like feeling like that so I like to keep ponies who cause me to feel like that well away and that means Archer. So don’t tell her anything about me. Okay?”

Dad gives me a big hug. “Oh, darling. I didn’t know you were hurting so bad. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“To be honest, dad, you were kind of checked out back then. Maybe you thought since I graduated I was doing okay and I didn’t need you anymore. At least that was the vibe I got.”

Dad’s brows come together as he searches his memory. “Yeah, I was a bit distant during that time.”

I sigh and rub my eyes. “We were going to leave, dad. It was just big talk but our dream was to collect up all the money we could and just get a train ticket to wherever. Live in a youth hostel in Baltimare or Fillydelphia for a while until we found jobs.” Dad looks alarmed so I continue. “Sweetie Belle had just gone off to college, Apple Bloom and I weren’t getting along for a number of reasons, you were always busy with work or Helvetica. I was being young and impulsive and infatuated with this love story.”

Another hug. “I’m so sorry, honey. You can always tell me what’s on your mind I hope you know that. I love you no matter what. If you’re mad at me or acting out, good times or bad.”

“I know, dad. I wasn’t thinking straight back then, I know that now. Going through that helped give me a little direction, start a business, patch things up with A.B. It’s in the past now, I’d like to keep it there. That’s why I want some warning before she comes back into my life.”

“Understood, Scootaloo.” We sat on the couch for a long while just leaning on each other. I felt like I was a kid again and dad was going to make everything okay. Or at least I could remember how that felt and get a little wisp of it. It’s never the same as when you’re a kid after you have the knowledge that your dad is a complicated, flawed pony; that you are a complicated, flawed pony; that you live in a complicated flawed universe.

“Enough about me did she say yes?”

“Of course.”

I give him a playful nudge on the chin. “Way to go, pops.”

Author's Note

I try to only have two muffin references per chapter if Dinky or Ditzy are inolved.

This installment on the A Foal in Sane mix tape, tape 1, side A "No Obligation" by Mom off the self-titled album is available for free through the Blacksquares Bandcamp page.

Chapter Six: Super Deformed

Mmm, feels good to get some lunch in me. Think I got a bean sprout between my teeth, maybe I can get my tongue in there. Riiight there.

“Oh, Scootaloo. I’m glad I caught you before you left. The assistant manager is ready for your performance evaluation.”

I freeze. Silver Spoon is regarding me that that impassive gaze. I’m still unsettled by her lack of antagonism. Has she really turned over a new leaf? Plus what’s with calling her BFF ‘the assistant manager’ all formal like. Have they really had some kind of a split? And here I am with this doofy expression on my muzzle. My daffodil sandwich turns to lead in my belly. I was hoping D.T. would somehow overlook this little meeting.

“Uh, okay. I’ll be there in a moment.”

All too soon I’m sitting down in the refurbished side office and there is my nemesis behind her desk idly looking over some files. Her eyes are half-lidded, she look bored or at least absorbed in her work. I might as well not be here. She’s wearing a hideous poofy-shoulder pink dress. Looks a little jowly, maybe the Freshman Ten found reinforcements. Sweet Celestia, I’m just picking out details so I don’t focus on how much I’m dreading this and how much I resent that Diamond still has this effect on my emotions.

Diamond mumbles something and turns a page. I turn my deliver pony’s cap in my hooves. The clock on the walls thuds out the seconds and it’s like the ticking is inside my head. Why does she wear that stupid crown anyway? She quirked her lips to the side, what does that mean! This is taking so long I can’t stand it!

Finally she sets the last folder down and bothers to look at me for the first time.

“So, Scootaloo-“

“Listen, Diamond. If there’s going to be any unpleasantness, like you’re going to fire me let’s get it out of the way first thing.”

She gets this confused and delicate expression for a hot second. “What do you mean? I…” Then the eyebrows come down and her eyes take on that familiar icy glare. Suddenly it was like I was back at the Foal Free Press again. “Like when we were kids? You’re STILL hung up on that stuff?” And the laugh, I will never ever forget that laugh. “That was Years Ago, foal stuff. I just assumed you had progressed beyond such silliness now that we’re grown fillies. I know I have. I’m running a business, Scootaloo. We’re here to talk about how well you fit into our little team. School rivalries don’t mean a thing to me anymore. Really? That’s priceless, Scootaloo. You’ve really made my day.”

And that terrible mocking laughter again. I clamp my lips shut and grind my teeth. Be the shield, Scootaloo; not the club.

“Let’s get started, shall we?” She’s just dripping with sarcasm. “First of all you made Thrasher Deliveries a Limited Liability Company. We only contract out your services. I couldn’t fire you if I wanted to without irritating legal work. Smart move, you’ll have to tell me later who came up with that idea. Secondly I would be a fool to let you go. You get our goods out to our customers saving both them and us time and hassle. You have a shockingly flawless accident record. Good Job, that was a delightful surprise. Even when your delivery orders do not involve Barnyard Bargains they still need to call our number, good for branding. I see no problems. Only bits flowing into our coffers. So Scootaloo, I shall be delighted to have you work for us in the years to come. Congratu-pony-lations!”

Oh, that smug grin. I can’t bring myself to do anything but nod. It’s taking everything I have not to throttle her spoiled pink neck. Be the shield not the club, be the shield not the club. “Thanks. We done here?”

She prissily collects up her folders. “Yes. Good luck on the roads out there. We wouldn’t want to damage any packages.” I don my cap and stiffly make my way out. “You really thought I would… hahaha!” I need to get far, far away from her.

After a day like this a trip out to Ghastly Gorge to test out the Mockingbird Mark III is just what I needed to burn off some tension. While slaloming a path through huge boulders I stew over what Diamond Tiara said. Foal stuff? She doesn’t even think about it? While Silver’s disarming aloofness seems strange Diamond’s continuing… terribleness is no surprise. But she forgot about our past? It doesn't matter to her?

I bank into a sharp left turn, leaning into it, wings stiff and angled for maximum speed. She’s FORGOTTEN the stuff she used to say and do to me? I had to deal with hearing her mocking voice in my head every time I looked in the mirror. Even now when I mess up catching a wind current and bite it hard in the dirt it’s like I was a kid again with her right there ready with an insult. And she doesn’t care? She’s ‘progressed’. It meant nothing to her? I can’t scream enough to get this anger out.

Sailing over a dirt bank I spread my wings, with a few flaps I manage to cushion my fall a bit. At least I can struggle against the track. I can physically battle this. But with Diamond I can only keep my nose clean and keep earning her money. That’s the most aggravating part! I’m trapped. There’s nothing I can do to retaliate. Why couldn’t she stay at college forever? It’s impossible she doesn’t know how badly she harmed me. She’s enjoying it! Why can’t I-

I feel a shudder under my back hooves and my ride slows suddenly. I look down and there’s a trail of black smoke coming off the engine. Oh well, I can limp her back under my own wingpower.

As I made my way over to where Apple Bloom was waiting at our ‘start’ line I notice we have spectators. Mr. Cake is standing there all stoic as usual and his little colt is on his back leaping into the air, his little wings buzzing, cheering so loudly I can clearly hear him this far off. “Whoo-hoo! Way to go Scootaloo! That was awesome!”

A.B. comes thundering up, clearly concerned about her baby. “Confound it, looks like I need to double down on the dust screens.”

“I was pushing her a bit hard I suppose. Sorry about that.”

“No problem, that’s what these little test runs are all about, right?”

“Bloom, why is Cake and his kid here?”

“The little guy asked to come last time I dropped off some apples at the Corner.”

“Why?”

She looked at me like I had grown another pair of wings out of my forehead. “You mean you haven’t noticed?” She cracks one of her bemused lopsided smiles. “You’re just like your big sister you know that? Completely self-centered.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That little pegasus has badgered his dad to go to every one of your races within a days’ travel for the last year. He got his own scooter last Hearth’s Warming Eve an even I’ve noticed him following you around trying to stay out of sight as you make your deliveries. You’re tellin’ me you honestly haven’t noticed?” I shake my head, still kind of blindsided by this information and my friend lets out a loud guffaw of laughter. “Yer too much, Dodo. Let’s get the Mockingbird back to the shop.”

Apple Bloom takes her creation by the handlebars and carefully wheels it back to the cart. Cake colt bolts over and starts peppering her with questions about what went wrong and how the engine works. I take the opportunity to peel off my helmet and wipe some sweat from my mane with a towel.

“Afternoon, Scootaloo.”

Damn, he startled me! That baratone voice is just dripping with negativity. What’s his problem? “Uh hey Mr. Cake. Good of you and your colt to come watch.”

He just looks at me for a few beats, just enough to be uncomfortable before he replies. “Yes. He’s a pretty big fan of yours. Showed a lot of talent for flying when he was a foal, you see. But he’s fallen a bit behind as he’s aged. He started to feel a bit self-conscious about it so I told him it was a pretty common problem and that I knew a filly that was a late bloomer but turned out okay. Asked a lot of questions about you.”

“Is that so?” I looked over at the kid who was watching in fascination as Apple Bloom was inspecting Mockingbird’s the crank case.

“Yes. He’s come to look up to you, a seemingly flightless pegasus who overcame the odds and made quite a name for herself.”

“I’m honored, sir. I didn’t know I had any fans.”

His eyes narrow a bit. “It’s important for me that he finds role models that can be a good influence. Maybe teach him some safety lessons for his scooter, to be a little less accident prone? His safety means a lot to his mother and I.”

The kid did look full of enthusiasm and eager to learn. “Yeah, I guess I could do that.”

“No crashing into storefront windows? You had a tendency to be pretty reckless as a filly.”

I look over at him. “Mr. Cake, those were my choices that I made as a kid involving my body. If you want me to give some lessons I’d do it as an adult looking after somepony else’s kid. I’d make sure he learns how to ride safely. Pinkie Pie swear.”

His big gruff jaw slackens and he gives me the first broad friendly smile in ages. “Great! I’m glad we can see eye to eye on this. You’re welcome over to Sugarcube Corner any time, Scootaloo. Just… remember what you promiced.”

“Yeah, sure thing.” Man, that stallion is weird. He acts like I’m Discord or something.

I walk over to the colt and he looks up with an expression I am not used to and honestly it takes me completely off guard. Like a wide-eyed awe. “Hey, Scootaloo! Nice moves out there.”

“Hey…” Sweet Celestia, I don’t remember his name! What was it, something to do with baked goods. Oh, he’s looking at me and I don’t know what to say. C’mon, stupid think of something. “…Squirt.” You Are Such A Bucking Idiot! “Hey, it’s getting a bit late tonight but how’s about you meet me at the park on Saturday and I’ll give you some riding tips?”

I didn’t think his eyes could get any wider or his smile broader but somehow he managed. “Yeah! That would be awesome!” Suddenly he leaps up and wraps his front legs around my neck. “Thank you! I want to be a stunt racer like you when I grow up, make sweet jumps like you!”

I wheeze a bit. “Well, you’ve got to learn the basics first. Be sure to bring your helmet, knee and elbow pads. Safety first!” I look over at Mr. Cake and he nods approvingly.”

“Come along, Pound. It’s getting late and I’m sure these fillies need to attend to their machine.” POUND Cake, that’s what his name is! Luna’s tears, how did I forget that.”

“Aww, okay. Bye, Apple Bloom. Bye Scootaloo!”

“See ya, kid. Take care.” I wave them off. Pound seems to be talking excitedly to his dad as he patiently comments back. Apple Bloom nudges me in the shoulder. “What?”

“You did good today, Scoots. Despite what happened to the Mockingbird.

I shrug. “Might be kind of fun to teach the kid.”

“Yeah well help me load the bike into the wagon, hero. We still have a lot of adjustments to make an the racing season’s not gonna wait up for us. You seemed kinda ornery before. Somethin’ wrong?”

I shrug it off. “Nothing of consequence; let’s get going.”

Author's Note

The mystery of Mr. Cake's antagonism revealed. I like this chapter because it mirrors Martin's little chat with Rainbow Dash in my previous story. I decided if I was going to center a story around aged-up CMC it would be fun to include the Cake kids as the age the main characters were in the show.

This track off of the A Foal in Sane mix tape, Tape 1, Side A, track 6 "Super Deformed" by Mom off Self-Titled is available off of the Blacksquares Bandcamp page. http://blacksquares.bandcamp.com/

Chapter Seven: Suntwin

Pound slides down on his elbow and knees, stopping when he gets to the lowest point on the half pipe, and stomps with frustration.

“Nice job, kid.”

“You don’t have to tease me about it!” He frowns almost comically.

“I’m not teasing, you did good.”

“But I fell.”

“Yeah, but we all fall. I still fall. Everypony falls now and then. Tartarus, Rainbow Dash still flies headlong into trees and she’s a Wonderbolt. But you landed right on your pads. You kept your joints loose, and didn’t get hurt. Good job, honestly.”

The kid tests his limbs for soreness. “I still don’t see what’s good about it.”

I go over and sit next to him. “Listen, Pound. The first step to being really good at something is to get really truly expert at sucking hard at it. If you’re putting all your energy into not falling you won’t be able to concentrate on doing awesome moves. If you fall over and over again you learn that it’s no big deal and won’t hurt too bad if you do it right. You lose all your fear of falling. Then you won’t be as worried about it. You won’t be so self-conscious and stiff and you’ll probably won’t fall as often. You understand?”

“I guess so. But I don’t understand how I can ever be happy about it.”

“Make it fun and okay to fall for a day. Nopony can make you feel bad if you laugh at yourself first. In fact I think I’ll make it your first lesson. Today we’re doing nothing but learning how to fall over and over again until you do it right every time.”

“You’re silly.” But he’s laughing and smiling at the idea. I think I’ve gotten through to him.

“Orders are orders, Squirt. You want me to teach you or not? Let’s get to it! Bet I can bite it better than you.”

I’m sure many ponies were confused at the sight of us the rest of that afternoon, a grown filly and little blank flank colt repeatedly sliding, rolling, and skidding down the side of the half pipe in every conceivable way possible, laughing, joking, and trash talking to each other the whole time.

Even with Miss Rarity’s professional demeanor and light touch it’s hard not to feel a tad uncomfortable at the intimate light touch of her measuring tape and tickle of her telekinesis around my barrel. Finally she writes down in the last set of numbers and takes off her spectacles. “Thank you, dear. I’m thinking tangerine and magenta with some kind of contrasting accent color would look good. I hope all those bruises fade before the big day. Now either I can make some mockup sketches or we can look over some designs if you’d like.”

I’m tired. Giving lessons to an eager little colt like Pound took more out of me that I thought. That plus landing the Quills & Sofas contract finally has really takes taken the fight out of me. I just want to go home and lay down on my bed. I’m trying to think of an answer but Helvetica beats me to it.

“Scottaloo, I’ve been looking through these idea books and think I’ve found some designs you may like.”

I can only shrug and mutter thanks. Miss Rarity and I sit down with her and whadda ya know, she found some dress designs that don’t suck. They aren’t too girly but not too butch for a wedding neither. I guess that’s part of her special talent or maybe a skill she picked up as a reporter, reading pony’s personalities and tastes. It’s really easy for her to get along with all sorts of people, which is kind of annoying sometimes when you look at it from the outside. Like if you’re a pony like me who had some trouble fitting in sometimes. But I guess she’s pretty cool. I never really thought much about her and it’s weird that she’s going to be a permanent part of my life. This is the first outing we’ve had as like almost stepmother and daughter without my dad present. I’m mulling this over on our walk home.

“That went pretty well, I think.” She interjects.

“Yeah. Thanks for helping out.”

“You looked like you’d rather be anywhere else so I thought it right to speed things along.”

“Eh. It’s your day. I don’t really care if you pick my dress out.”

“It is partially your day too, Scootaloo. I wouldn’t want you to be stuck wearing something you found unbearable. It was kind of fun doing something together. I don’t expect you to think of my as your mother at your age, especially when you have a perfectly good mom in your life. But I want you to feel like I can help you out every now and then, or if you just want some company.”

“Thanks, Helvetica.” I chew on my lip, no better time to bring this up than now. “You and dad going to move to Canterlot or what?”

“No! We have no plans to. You’re a business woman, Scootaloo. If we were going to move out of town land leave you homeless it wouldn’t be without months of notice.”

“How you gonna keep working for the Daily here in Ponyville?”

“I tell you what; I’ve been a reporter for a long time now. I’ve been all over Equestria. I’d really like to settle down for a while, maybe write a book or editorials form the comfort and safety of my armchair. I’m halfway hoping a senior position opens up at the Ponyville newspaper. I could whip up circulation in no time.” She gives me a wink.

“Okay, thanks. That’s kinda been on my mind lately.”

“Dear, we wouldn’t move away without including you in the conversation. I know how close you and your father were growing up and I’m not here to drive a wedge between the two of you. To be honest, you’ve been really important to your father and I don’t think he’s ready to have you move off either. You’re not just his daughter you’re likely his closest friend.”

“Heh, dad’s probably sick of me and my angst by now.”

“He’s an introvert and likes to keep to himself but I think he’d be at wits end if he didn’t have you to fret over.”

“I’ll try to be more of a problem, maybe.” We chuckled over that a bit.

Uuggh! What time is it? 3:47 AM! That’s what I get for going to sleep so early. My brain’s little timer goes off (ding!) and conspires with my bladder to wake me up. What to do with myself now? I could lie here and stew. I could bum around the apartment but I’d risk waking dad and Helvetica up, they don’t get much snuggle time together as it is.

Heh, my room still looks like a little filly’s room. I should take down a few of these pictures of Dash, maybe. Bet I’ve got the only surviving Mare-Do-Well poster in town. Getting a little more adult up in here wouldn’t hurt. Ahhh, what to do; what to do? I really want to go down to the old clubhouse, get behind my drum set, work on a nice driving rhythm. That would work off a little frustration. Play and play until my mane is all pasted down and sweat stings my eyes. But then I’d have a workday of deliveries ahead of me and I’d be so beat by the end of the day that I’d go to sleep early and repeat this all over again. Might as well go pee, get breakfast, and work this out as a go.

Not too long before my apartment spits me out and I’m taking walk through town under the stars. I like the coolness of the air and the quiet. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are likely both fast asleep still. Who’s going to be awake at this hour? Bonbon and the Cakes are probably getting stuff ready. Such is the burden of ponies whose special talents lie in preparing perishable goods. Dunno if they would appreciate me getting in their way. Wait a second. I think I know somepony who is probably an insomniac.

Ha! Right on. There’s a light on at Amethyst Star’s place. A few thrown pebbles should do the trick. It isn’t too long before a translucent head appears in the windowframe.

“Scootaloo?” Jacinth seems genuinely surprised. “What are you doing? It’s like Five in the morning!”

“Couldn’t sleep either, eh? Isn’t it a bummer?” He gives me the deadpan treatment so I come out with it. “You wanna take a walk in the park? Watch the sun rise with me?”

“I don’t know…”

“If you’ve got better company in there already I understand. But you’ve got a friend out here alone in the street, in the dark, wanting to spend time with you.” I flash him a smile.

He sighs. “Okay, just be quiet and don’t wake my boss up.” Yes!

He takes a pretty damn long time to get ready for a stallion but soon enough we’re taking an early morning stroll through empty cobblestone streets. The moonlight shines in his mane just like I was hoping. After we get to the park he decides to show a little initiative for once and cuts through the small talk. “Alright let’s have it out. Why did you really want to get me out here?”

Precipice time again. Geronimo! “My dad’s getting married in a few weeks, small but fancy affair up in Canterlot. I’d like you to go with me, as another date.”

“Scootaloo, I-“

“We aren’t going to work out as a couple, I know. I’d like you to be my date anyway.”

He looks taken aback but not stung. “Okay I know what I was going to say but why did you say that?”

“I’m not enough of a romantic to believe in that opposites attract stuff. I imagine if we both wrote down our ideas of what an ideal weekend spent together they would be very, very different experiences.”

“Good point. But then why ask me?”

I grimace in a way that I hope is charming. “You’re really cute. And I like to look at you. If I have to go to one of these things and see all my relatives and family friends I’d rather be hanging off the arm of a cute colt than go stag.”

He laughs and looks down at the dew damp grass. “Okay, I’ll go; just because I admire your honesty. I’ve been meaning to get up to see the capitol anyway.”

I give him a hug. “Thanks Jace! Just because I don’t think we should date doesn’t mean I don’t think we should be friends. I think we can be good for each other.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Want to swing by the Corner after sunrise and grab some coffee?”

“I think I’d like that, Scootaloo.”

In the East the sky slowly brightened full of orange and fuchsia tones, shots of magenta and eventually brilliant yellows. The cool, pressing, intimate night air felt Celestia’s Suns’ heat ever so gradually. Stars got shy. The birds have been busy talking to each other for a while but now they start going about their day. Behind us ponies are probably waking up or at least stirring around in their warm comfortable beds emerging from dreams and rest and getting ready to contribute to whatever business or pleasures they put off yesterday. It’s not quiet anymore like the nighttime was but sunrise has its own special charm I guess.

“Um, Scootaloo?”

“Yeah?”

“I thought you didn’t want to date.”

“Yeah. I don’t.”

“Then why do you have your head on my shoulder?”

“Fillies are contradictory and fickle. If you haven’t learned that by now I’ve got a lot to teach you.”

“Oh-kay.”

But after a while he leaned back.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think of Jacinth, I'm curious.

This track off the A Foal in Sane Mix tape (tape 1, side B, track 1) "Suntwin" is available as always on the Blacksquares Bandcamp page and is probably
my favorite.

Chapter 8: Who is the Girl I met Amongst the Falling Cherry Blossoms?

Ack, this cape is choking me! We’ve grown so much they are practically more like kerchiefs. At least I know which one is mine. I hoof-stitched the tear along the hem from snagging it on Miss Flutter’s chicken coop.

“Apple Bloom, do we really have to go through all this? How long are you planning on waiting by the door?”

“As long as it takes, Scoots. We’ll go on your little safari tomorrow but tonight it’s my turn to choose and tradition is tradition. Give her time to have dinner with her family. I’m sure she’ll be along soon.” She’s wearing her hair down like the old days complete with oversized pink bow.

I don’t want to tell her how close this feels to my nightmare of a few days ago. Sure, the clubhouse has long been scoured of remnants from our childhood and tonight even all the drafting tools, blueprints, and even my drum set have been pushed to the corners to leave room for three adult-sized bedrolls and sleeping bags.

“I can’t wait; it feels like it’s been forever!” A.B. gives me a nod of agreement. Our own friendship is priceless and we’ve helped each other get through a lot of rough times but there’s nothing quite like getting all the original Crusaders together!

“I’ll have to take a picture of all three’a’us to send to Babs. Bet she’d get a kick outta that… Ohh! I think I hear somepony on the stairs!” Apple Bloom clears her throat and does her best to look serious but the pink bow really ruins the effect. I roll my eyes and chuckle but also play along.

There’s a knock at the door. “Hail Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

“Who requests entry into our clubhouse?” Bloom gives me a wink.

“I, Crusader Sweetie Belle, wish to rejoin my sisterhood in the spirit of friendship and camaraderie!”

It’s my line next. “Enter and be welcomed in good faith.”

The old door creaks open and there is Sweetie! The warmth of her smile is so refreshing and familiar. She looks more like her sister every time she returns; her big jade eyes a bit more almond-shaped. But her hair is unique, hanging in big pink and lavender curls like bunches of grapes. She manages to pull of the cape with five times the class as the two of us, and she’s got some kind of silver pendant around her neck on a narrow chain. It’s in the shape of a heart with little musical notes cut out of it radiating from the center. “Greetings sisters!” Years of voice training hasn’t stopped her voice form cracking when she gets excited.

Sweetie joins us in the little clubhouse for the last little ritual of our ceremony. “You ready girls?” Sweetie and I give A.B. a nod and we all take in a deep breath.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SLEEPOVER IN THE CLUBHOUSE WITH SWEETIE BELLE! YAY!!!”

And then all of are laughing and giving each other hugs. That startled all the fruitbats out of the East Orchard for sure.

“Now’dat is over with make yer’self comfy and tell us how you been.”

“Let me get something first, my sister slipped me some wine, baguettes, and sweets she got and Bonbons’.” Her horn lit up light green to retrieve the picnic basket she left outside door.

I clap my hooves together. “That was awesome of her!”

“She’s been up to visit me a few times and knows how long it’s been since we got the Crusaders all together and wanted to make sure we had a pleasant night.”

We arranged the sleeping bags in a triangle as Sweetie served us refreshments.

“So, how’s college?”

Sweetie rolls her eyes and sighs. “It’s competitive, backstabbing, stressful, sadly lacking my present company.”

“What about the colts? Bet they’re all over you.” Apple Bloom gives her a wink. I wish she would get a lover of our own and not be so curious about ours.

“Forget about dating anyone in my class. The ones who aren’t into other colts are just interested in me as a status symbol or how I can get them leverage in the class. After a few dates I’m totally off dating within the college ecosystem. I’ve been trying out a dating service instead.”

“You should see fella Scoots has been chasin’!”

“We’re not dating…”

“Yer takin’ him to the wedding ain’t cha?”

I took a sip of wine to collect my thoughts. “Just as friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to date Jacinth but he’s too delicate for my lifestyle. I’d be like dating Miss Fluttershy. I’d feel like there’s eggshells all over the ground and he’d feel like there was a time bomb strapped to his arm.”

Sweetie interjects. “Tell me about how you met him.”

“Scoots here threw a party.”

“Oh?” Her face falls.

I rub her hoof. “Yeah, I felt bad I couldn’t invite you but believe me once you hear about it you’ll be glad you missed out.”

“Why? What happened?”

“What happened is I invited the handsomest crystal pony I’ve ever seen to my house party with the intention of introducing him to everypony, get him out of his shell, and then Archer shows up.”

Sweetie sucks a breath through her teeth. “Ex marefriend drama, ouch.”

“That was just awkward, things really started cooking when some kind of portal opened up above the mountain range and some” I wave my arms around “unholy monster beyond imagination slithers out!”

“Oh yeah, I remember that. Oh, I’m sorry Scootaloo!”

A.B. picks up the story. “Jacinth hightailed it outta there. All that rumbling put a damper on the night for a lotta folks. Scoots here was determined not to slow her roll though.”

“Really?”

“You bet, if I let every monster who stomps through Ponyville scare me away I’d never leave the underside of my bed.”

“But your date left you.” She rubs my shoulder.

“Don’t feel too bad for her, she got somepony to keep her company that night.”

“Apple Bloom!”

Sweetie blinks. “Who was it?”

I sigh, might as well come from me. “Dinky and I had a bit too much to drink and somehow ended up in my room.”

“Scootaloo! I’m surprised at you! You should never try to coerce consent when drinking is involved. Poor sweet Dinky.”

“It was kind of a mutual thing! Uh, I think. Listen, it happened and I’ve already guilt tripped myself over it. Dinky was okay with it the next morning, for what it’s worth.”

“Be more careful in the future, Scoots. That could have ended badly.” Sweetie’s hooded stare from over the top of the wine glass she’s sipping stabs me right in the conscience.

“Yeah, a monster could have eaten us all. I understand and I learned my lesson. Don’t worry.”

That conversation left a certain dark shadow over the room which Apple Bloom eased by suggesting other topics. Maybe she felt bad about leading us in that direction when all she wanted was to tease me a little bit. We caught up on what each other were up to and our plans for the rest of the weekend. I found myself just looking at Sweetie and smiling. I mean she was my friend long before Bloom so it’s been difficult adjusting to her being away. I hope she moves back to town even if her singing career takes off.

Hours later with the candles blown out and conversation dead I can’t quite get myself to sleep. Something fishy is going on so I let my mind wander. Wool gathering. I’m not the smartest pony so sometimes it’s the best method.

Not dating anyone in her classes, dating service, that fancy new pendant. I wait patiently for Apple Blooms’ deep sleep snore before I indulge my curiosity.

“Hey, Sweetie Belle, I gotta ask you something.”

“Mmmm?”

“I need an honest answer and I hope to Luna hope that answer is no.”

“Mmm.”

“Are you dating Silver Spoon?”

“Eeep!”

“Sweetie Belle!”

My pale coated friend looks nervously over at Apple Bloom as she stirs, then goes back to sleep. She turns to me, pleading. “Let’s go outside if you want to talk about this.”

“Damn right I want to.”

In the cool air Luna’s moon is leering down at us. Wispy clouds are blowing past at a nice quip though there is no breeze down where we are. It would normally be a peaceful sight but tonight I was alarmed and bothered. “Okay, out with it. What would make you Even Think about giving that witch the time of day? I thought you had more self-respect than that.”

“Normally I wouldn’t, under any other circumstances I wouldn’t, but I didn’t know it was her!”

I stomped the ground. “How is that even possible?”

“This dating service I signed up for, it connects you with a pen pal based on what kind of relationship you’re looking for. They warn you over and over again not to give out your real name or personal details about your life until you’re serious about going out on a date. You know, for safety. There are a lot of weirdoes out there.”

“Go on.”

“Believe me if she had mentioned Ponyville and silver smithing I would have called it off immediately. But she didn’t. And we started writing back and forth… and we kind of hit it off.”

“With Silver Spoon?”

She sighs and looks up at the sky. “How much do you really know about her, I mean about her inner life away from Diamond? What do you know about her besides being a tag-along crony? Her likes and dislikes, her personal feelings and passion?”

I frown and try to come up with an answer. Sweetie turns to address me face to face again. “What kind of timid, scared pony do you think would attach herself to somepony like Diamond Tiara and willingly live in her shadow? Seems like an insecure thing to do, right?”

“A stupid cruel thing to do when you realize how she behaved.”

“All I knew is I was writing this stranger who’s best friend had moved away and here she was as an adult didn’t know how to make friends anymore, and was lonely, very lonely. She kind of touched my heart. We wrote about all sorts of things and she was so candid about her feelings and passions, nothing like my superficial classmates. We started slow and guarded at first but after a few weeks she was writing every day. And it was so flattering. So I asked her over to Canterlot for coffee.”

“Oh, Sweetie Belle.”

“I asked her to bring a certain kind of flower bouquet so I would know it was her and-“

“What kind?”

“Hyacinth since we weren’t too serious yet. Who are you my sister? Let me finish. Anyway I’m waiting at a table looking at the door every time somepony enters and when the bouquet does appear it was Silver Spoon! And she saw me. And she knew. And I could tell what was going through her head; that this was the one chance she took to open up, find somepony she didn’t have a sour history with and bare her heart, allow some hope in. But it was me the whole time, the marshmallow ‘blank flank’. One pony who would never want to see her again. She dropped the flowers and galloped off in tears.”

“And you went back to your coffee because she is a horrible pony and deserves everything she got, right?”

My big-hearted best friend looks over at me and I know I’m going to dread the rest of this story. “She had come all the way to Canterlot. I ran after her, convinced her that we at least needed to talk this out.”

“Ohh, Sweetie.”

“You didn’t see how crushed she looked! You hadn’t been writing letters with her for the better part of a year. Sure it was super awkward but I at least needed closure.”

“Did you talk about the past?”

“Yes, of course we did. She did a lot of apologizing.”

I snarl. “She didn’t to ME when we did our little walk through memory lane the other day.”

“She’s scared of you, Scootaloo. She’s under the impression that you and Bloom are two hotheaded tomcolts who would rather pummel her than hear her say ‘I’m sorry’ and not to be harsh but that’s not too far off from the truth.”

“Pfft! So she said sorry and then what?”

“She asked me if I could forgive her and see her in a new light and I told her I already had. We sort of got to know each other free of all that baggage and sure, you put your best face forward when courting so it wasn’t the real her but I didn’t want to say goodbye to the mare I got to know in those letters. I wanted to keep writing. By then we had done a lot of talking and shed a lot of tears, the two of us, and she had to hurry to make the train. So we both galloped to the station and…”

“You didn’t kiss her did you?”

She shrugs. “Yeah?”

“Sweetie Belle!”

“I couldn’t help it; she looked so cute and vulnerable!”

Hoofpalm. “And you’ve kept this up.”

Sweetie fiddles with the pendant around her neck. “Yeah.”

“You know how sick and twisted this looks?”

“Of course, and I know how unlikely it is that I would me pick hers from the hundreds of ads I read. It’s either the dumbest of luck or somehow our relationship was blessed by Princess Mi Amore herself. More importantly I Know how she makes me feel and I Know it’s my own business whom I date!”

“Are you sure this isn’t some elaborate long con? Are you sure you aren’t setting yourself up for disaster?” I guess it’s me who’s pleading now.

Sweetie sighs. “I’m not dumb or self-loathing enough to intentionally date an old bully. I know ponies can’t change who they are. But I have to believe we can learn from our mistakes and try to atone and be a better pony. I think she is truly sorry and I know the filly who bullied us so cruelly wasn’t the full sum of who Silver Spoon is. I’m going to risk it.”

“She makes you happy?”

She gets that look, the one where you know they’ve got it bad. “Yeah. You have no idea, she gets so eager to please, so enthusiastic, and it’s exhilarating! When she-“

“Sweetie, if you continue talking I’m going to puke all over these apple seedlings and I don’t think Applejack would like that. Please stop. Please.”

“So now that it’s all out in the open are we cool, Scoots?” She holds her hoof up to me.

I let out a dramatic sigh of the kind usually reserved for dad. “Yeah Sweets. We’re cool.” I give her a pound. “I’m not going to like it but you’re my friend and I’ll support whatever you think is best. Just be careful.”

“When am I ever not? You’re the one who always took us zip lining and whatnot.”

“Whatever Sacredy Belle, you loved it.” We hug for a while. I miss the smell of all those fancy shampoos Rarity inflicted on her. I miss hearing her voice and confiding in her. With Sweetie I didn’t have to have my tough persona up, we could really talk about things.

She seems to read my mind. “Enough about me, do you have anything you need to get off your chest? Have you been doing okay?”

“Actually, I did have this nightmare a few days ago. It wasn’t like scary bad, but bad enough that Princess Luna showed up.”

“Aww, I’m sorry! Here.” She sits down beneath one of the grander apple trees of the orchard. “Sit down next to me and tell me all about it.

I knew that going into work on Monday and seeing Silver there would be strange, knowing that she and one of my best friends had probably spent Sunday night together doing Luna-knows-what. I didn't want to scare her off, but I wanted her to know that I knew so we could get to some kind of understanding. And there she is at her desk wearing a teal dress to match the frames of her glasses.

She looks over with the same impassive act she's had for months. "Good morning, Scootaloo."

I just walk over and keep looking at her, into her eyes, still and quiet. I want to watch her reaction. She looks confused, then mildly annoyed. She looks slightly to the left as if searching her memory for what could be the problem. And then she gets it, takes in a breath of air, looks back at me fearfully anticipating my reaction. Now she just looks down at her desk, resigned to whatever happens.

"Silver Spoon."

"Yes?"

"You really, truly care for her?"

She glances up, a bit braver than I thought she'd be. "I do."

I hadn't planned this far ahead. For once I hold all the cards. She's been hiding this relationship and making nuts with her mysterious behavior but now it's all out in the open. I could really hold it over her for not coming clean. I could be truly cruel, payback for years of abuse.

"Silver Spoon. I forgive you."

"Th-thank you." She's confused. I am as well, have no idea why that came out of my mouth. I'm not sure I mean it. I don't know if it's the truth or if I'm lying for the sake of Sweetie Belle. I kind of need to say it. I'll be seeing Silver week after week and it doesn't look like they'll stop loving each other anytime soon and I don't want get in the way of her happiness. I've no right to do that.

"Don't break her heart. Don't know how I'd react."

"You don't have to worry, Scootaloo. She's very precious to me."

"Me too."

Author's Note

I couldn't help it I had to put in my favorite shipping. Silver Belle is so wrongheadded, so tragic, so deliciously romantic. I'll go down with this ship until it sinks below the icy waves.

Chapter title track for the A Foal in Sane mixtape, tape 1, side B, track 2 is by Cats Millionaire off of the album "Meow" and is available for downlaod on the Blacksquares Bandcamp page.

Chapter 9: Blue/Flightcamp

"Hey, Squirt. Wake up!"

"Hmm?" More sleep, please.

"Sunshine, sunshine Scoots. Up and at 'em!"

I reluctantly blink my eyes open. Turns out it's a welcome sight looming over my bed. "Rainbow!"

She gurgles a bit due to my tight hug. "Good to see you too, Squirt. How'ya been?"

"Pretty awesome as usual."

"Well rise and shine. I've got a big surprise for you. Hey, did you take down some of my posters? What gives, I'm not your hero anymore?"

"I'm just trying to make the place look a bit more adult. Nothing personal, sis."

Dash shrugs it off. "Grab your goggles on the way downstairs, we're going flying later."

My heart leaps a little, it's been a long time since we did some quality soaring. Then some practicality bubbles up in my mind and I hurry to meet her on stairs, goggles around my neck. "Uh, Rainbow. It's a workday. I'll have to pass."

"Got'cha covered. I've sent a note to Filthy letting him know you're needed for official Wonderbolts business. Put it in official letterhead and everything."

"Won't you get in trouble for that?"

"What's more important than hanging out with my sister?" She ruffles my mane, just like she used to do when I was little. I shy away like I'm too grown up for that but secretly I love it.

Dad's in the kitchen making breakfast. There's a big map taking up most of our table. Looks like Dash had made all sorts of notes on it.

"How long have you been down here?"

Dash puts forelock to forehead. "Ages! Waiting for you to wake up."

"I didn't know you got up that early for anything. Dad, are you in on this too?"

He always looks so silly in an apron. "Don't look at me; all I did was wake up at like Five AM and made you all these pancakes."

Dash takes a seat. "Eat up, sis! We've got to carb load."

Dad sets a big plate of flapjacks in front of me and I tuck in. I can't help sneaking looks at Rainbow. I've missed her. It's been what, two or three months? She catches me and flashes one of her lopsided grins.

"Scoots."

"Yeah?"

"You've got some syrup on your chin."

I grab a napkin. "So where're we going?"

"Somewhere I've been meaning to take you for a long time. We're flying to Cloudsdale, kid!"

I can feel my ears fall flat. "Rainbow, you know I can't make it there."

"It's not that far. Remember our trip to Appleoosa?"

I toy with my meal. "This is different. How do you expect me to maintain altitude that high up?"

"That's why I've been waiting for weeks." She extends an arm and dad hands her the newspaper. "Been watching the weather report. It's going to be a nice clear warm day. In about an hour the sunlight will have warned up the lake enough to cause a nice updraft," she points to the map, "we're going to ride it up, up like the vultures. Easy peasey." I must have given her a doubting look because she frowns. "Where's the filly daredevil who rode off Ghastly Gulch? I was hoping you'd be jumping for joy."

"I don't know if I'm up for this is all."

"I'll be there to help you out in a pinch."

I run my front hooves through my mane. She's right, as a kid I would have been overjoyed to spend the day on a seemingly impossible task like this as long as Rainbow Dash was involved. What changed in me to cause me to feel this dread. "Dad, you're okay with this plan?"

"Everyday you're careening about on one of your scooters. This is a bit of a feat but you've got an honest to Celestia Wonderbolt looking after you. Sounds like fun."

The giddiness in Dash's magenta eyes are a bit infectious. "And the REAL surprise comes after we reach our destination. Whaddya say, are you in?"

I smile and turn back to my meal. "I'm in."

"Awesome! I'll get our gear together."

Dash was right. There were some wicked thermals above the park and soon we were ascending in lazy spirals high above town. I tried not to look below the horizon line. I was definitely not used to this altitude. After that it was just a matter of taking to an air current going in the correct direction. Once over open farmland and forest it was easy for a pony to lose her bearings so I let Rainbow take care of that. I'm far used to land navigation. Every now and them I'd recognize some rolling hills or a certain road. The rail lines and mountains certainly helped. But my little delivery business kept me pretty tied to Ponyville for the most part barring weekend excursions and special circumstances.

We chatted while we flew if the wind permitted it. I love talking with Dash about life or whatever. Apple Bloom is great for practical advice and I go to Sweetie Belle to talk about feelings and stuff but with Rainbow it was like I could get advice from an elder version of me. We had similar outlook on life.

I updated her on my racing training and my working relationship with Apple Bloom. I told her about the party which inevitably led to telling her about Jacinth.

"So do you like this colt or what?" Rainbow and I rested on a cirrus cloud while she matched landmarks to the route on her map.

"I like to be around him. That count?"

"Something to build on."

"Eh. It's just that he was born into slavery in the Crystal Empire and that's left him all skittery. Dating me is like taking a ride in my little red wagon. It's going to be a bumpy exiting time. I don't want to leave him more traumatized."

"Never know what'll happen, squirt. Get to know him I guess and be there if he's interested but don't string the guy along."

"Got it, sis. I'll take him to the wedding so you'll get to meet him."

She glances over at me. "You haven't told me about any relationship stuff in a while. I figured you were waiting for another Archer type to come along."

"Ugh. Someone who will make big promises and abandon me again? No thanks."

"I realize she really hurt you, and it's true there's no excuse for just up and leaving, but I can kind of sympathize with the decision she had to make. The Night Guard is serious business. If I had to choose between being a Wonderbolt and my special somepony it would really tear me up. Her unforgivable mistake wasn't including your views in her decision. Pretty foalish and cruel move. But she was, like, the type that gets you going? A little more rough and tumble?"

I shrug and blow bangs out of my eyes. "Was at the time, I guess."

"Hang in there, Squirt. You'll find somepony one of these days. Till then just work on being the awesome mare that'll turn admirers heads."

We fly on for what seems like hours. My shoulders and back muscles ached from soaring so long. Flapping like a madmare is more my bread and butter so I'm taxing muscles I don't usually use too often. Eventually I notice something wrong.

"Rainbow Dash, Cloudsdale is to the north. Aren't we going the wrong way?"

"Trust me, kid. I was kind of stretching the truth. We aren't going to Cloudsdale proper though we can stop by afterwards. We're going over that cloud ridge up ahead. Brace yourself, it's going to get choppy!"

I follow her up and turbulence tears at my belly and the underside of my wings but it lifts us up and over the front. Suddenly an new vista opens up below us. A peninsula rises up out of the cloud, surrounded by pegasus-made buildings. There is a runway, a rainbow waterfall-fed stream, and what look like hangers.

I recognize the place immediately. Horror and nausea take hold. "Oh no... Rainbow, how could you? How could you take me to this place?"

"Easy kid! Careful, you'll fall out of the sky."

"This is Wonderbolts Academy, Rainbow. I've dreamed of this place all my life! Why do you take me here now?"

"Come down with me and see, Scootaloo. This isn't one of my pranks. You're going to have to trust your sister on this."

I look down again. It is like seeing a paradise of afterlife. Something dreamed of and aspired towards but always infuriating out of reach. Years ago I had to give up all hope of seeing this place in person. Now, actually seeing it, and now having it within reach, it made me scared. Like the gods lived there or something and would punish me for trespassing. Looking back at Rainbow I search her expression.

"If this was a prank it would be the single most cruel thing you could ever do, taking me here."

"Bear with me. Element of Loyalty, remember?"

I look back down at the Academy and sigh. You shouldn't be allowed to see dreams in person, knowing you can't stay there and possess them. But maybe that's what makes them dreams. But this is a real place. Sweetie would be better at making sense of that I guess. I might as well. Never get this opportunity again. I dive down toward the runway not waiting for Rainbow to show me the way. I don't want her to see the look on my face right now.

I land on the Tarmac, rub my eyes, and stash my goggles so Rainbow won't see how much tears I got on them. "Okay, where to now?"

"Aren't you forgetting something? Just like I will always be your sister I'll always be your coach. If you don't do some stretching when we leave your wings will lock up and you'll tumble down and fall as flat as Twilight's standup comedy act."

Her lame joke actually coaxes a laugh out of me. Must be all the tension. "Whatever you say, Rainbow Dash."

"Wait out here for a second, Squirt. I'll be right back."

Man, the buildings aren't as nice as I imagined. Not a lot of decoration. Guess they serve their purpose. I still can't believe I'm here.

My sister pokes her head out the door. "Come on in, Scoots. There's somepony I want you to meet."

It's a little office, quite a bit nicer than the rest of the place but frankly my attention is drawn to the flame-haired orange pegasus behind the desk. "Scootaloo Swallowtail. I'm glad to finally speak with you." She makes her way over and offers her hoof. "I'm Commander Spitfire... Is something funny?"

"No, no!" I accept her hoofshake. "It's just that it seems silly for you to introduce yourself. You've been looking down at me from a poster on my wall since I was little."

She gives me a brief smile. "Have a seat. I am hoping you can help me with a little problem."

"ME help YOU? I don't know how I could."

"Hear me out, Ms. Swallowtail. We've been having some trouble retaining cadets here at Wonderbolt Academy. It's always been a small problem but if it keeps up like this for the next few years I fear we won't make our quota for the Reserves. The Academy selects the best fliers from towns and cities all over Equestria. Often this is the first time they face competition with anypony at their skill level, or past it. They aren't used to that sort of pressure to perform way past their usual limits. They wash out after a few days. Even Lieutenant Dash here tried to quit on me, though for different reason. Granted, she found being made wing pony a bitter pill to swallow."

I turn to look at Dash. She's standing by the door. "You were a wing pony?" Her eyes lock with mine and her expression wavers slightly before she snaps back to attention.

Spitfire clears her throat. "A lot of these special snowflakes haven't had to deal with disappointment or adversity before. That's where you come in."

"I'm some sort of expert at being a disappointment?"

"Not at all. I understand you had quite a bit of difficulty learning to fly. How old were you when you finally managed it?"

"Weeks away from finishing primary school."

"Get hassled a lot for it?"

"Yes, a bit."

"When told you would always be a weak flier you, uh," she looks down at notes on her desk. "you rode your scooter off a cliff so you could gain enough altitude to soar. Is that right."

"Yeah, I did."

"Sounds dangerous. Why'd you do that?"

"Because I knew I could."

"You didn't worry you could fall to your death?"

"It's not like I didn't want to live if I couldn't fly. I needed to do it because I could. I was sick of ponies telling me I had to settle with life on the ground. I was meant to fly."

"But you did go back to using a scooter again."

I shrug. "I'm capable but... limited. Wheels get me around faster."

"So you started a racing career?"

"Yeah. No Wonderbolts Academy for me!"

"It says here in this magazine article you took a medical exam and be declared 'a pegasus of diminished capacity'. Why is that?"

I feel an ache in my chest remembering that day. "Ma'am, motocross is mostly a unicorn and earth pony sport. They put a lot of pride into designing and building their bikes. I wouldn't exactly say there's a culture of tribalism but they're extremely suspicious of pegusi. Like we would somehow pick up and carry our rides as we fly to the finish line."

"You think that's fair?"

"It is how it is, though with engines powered by unicorn magic it certainly is hypocritical."

"Dash tells me you wanted to be a Wonderbolt like her. Going in for that diagnosis and getting it printed in the media, must have really stung."

"I wanted to race, ma'am."

"Hmm. I'm starting a guest lecture series for the first week of classes here. I would like you to come in and tell the cadets your story."

"Commander! I doubt I could teach anything to Wonderbolt Academy students. I'm not in their league."

"You wanted to be but couldn't. But you landed on your hooves to strive out somewhere else. If it weren't for some chance quirk of nature I'm sure you'd be right there in the audience from what Lieutenant Dash had told me."

"She talks about me? To you?" I catch her grinning but Spitfire calls her to attention.

"She goes on and on about your racing career and how she taught you everything you know. Frankly it's a relief from her talking about herself."

"I'm really just starting out, Commander. I don't think I'd have a lot to say."

"Really? Bookies in Las Pegasus have you placing close to or even beating the the favorite, this Blithe Skim."

"You've really done your homework!"

"This is the Wonderbolts, kid. Intelligence gathering is a primary asset. What is it, you don't think you are memorable or important enough?" She holds up a yellowing newspaper clipping with a familiar photograph. A copy hangs framed in our living room. "Do you think ponies forgot about this? Inspirational story of the 'flightless' pegasus who carried the flag for Ponyville in the first Equestrian Games held in the Crystal Empire? Do you know how many papers this ran in?"

"What would I even say?"

"That's up to you. I just need these kids to strive ahead when faced with adversity, like you have. Listen, I know you wanted to come here as a cadet but unfortunately that's not possible. But you can still serve your country with this one favor. Can I count on you?"

"I'm sorry Commander, Rainbow, but I don't know if I can-"

Commander Spitfire takes off her sunglasses. "You don't have to apologize to her. You aren't here because of nepotism. This lecture was my idea. I ordered the Lieutenant to bring you here."

"Really?"

"Yes, on one condition. That you fly here under your own power. Did you?"

"Yes."

"Pretty huge feat for 'a pegasus of diminished capacity' don't you think?"

"I guess."

"The kind of challenge for someone with the heart of a Wonderbolt."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "How much time do I have to prepare?"

"Six weeks."

"Okay, I'll do it."

"Thank you, Ms. Swallowtail. Lieutenant Dash, show Ms. Swallowtail the campus then you are dismissed for the day."

"Yes ma'am."

Once we were out of earshot Rainbow trotted in place. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! You did great Scootaloo! I'm so proud of you!"

She swoops me up in a tight hug. I should be over Luna's moon with excitement right now. I should be fangirling all over the place. I mean I met Spitfire and she chose ME for a kind of important mission. I've got kind of mixed emotions. After all, I've got homework for the first time in years. But Rainbow's mood is kind of infectious.

"Yeah. Thanks for talking me down big sister."

Author's Note

This track on the A Foal in Sane mixtape tape 1, side B, track 2 "Blue/Flightcamp" by Cats Millionaire off her album Fun Fun Fun is available on the Blacksquares Bandcamp page.

Chapter Ten: Strength

Ugh. Again my brain and sleep decide to part company and I'm up stupid early in the morning. Too aware for bed but too blurry for any activity of importance. Might as well get an early start on things and not make a bunch of noise and wake dad. He must have a lot on his mind as-is.

Out on the streets it's all crickets and morning mist. I'd be pretty if I wasn't too blurry to take it all in. I should try to mentally organize the dumb stuff I gotta do today. Regular Thursday deliveries. Check the schedule. Anything Helvetica needs me to pick up before the wedding? Do I have time to stop by the jeweler and not flirt with my not coltfriend?

Loading dock of Barnyard Bargains. Nearly sprain a fetlock on a wooden palate in the dark. Dark inside too, must be the first pony on the job. Means I have to figure out the coffeemaker and I'm in a poor state to operate any machinery but my wheels. Luna's tears I should see if Miss Flutters has a tea or something herbal that helps with sleep or at least calm my brain down a little bit.

What was that? Feel my ears prick up and a trill run down my withers. Is somepony else here? I strain to hear above the dull gurgle of the percolator.

"Hullo?"

Coming from the back rooms past the tall cluttered rows of the stock shelves. Might as well make my way over. What if it's a robbery? Momentarily I get excited at the thought of earning my cops and robbers cutie mark before I remember I already have one.

"Somepony here?"

I hear a retching noise like somepony being sick.

"Snails, if you broke in here and got into the cooking sherry again by Celestia I'm Turing you in this time!"

I see a light on and push the door open without thinking which room it is. Turns out it's Diamond Tiara's new Assistant Manager's Office. And there she is on the floor looking like her head is sticking out of a puddle of pink and white taffeta and tulle. Paperwork is strewn all over her desk. She's got her waste paper bucket between her back legs connected by a ropey line of saliva to her chin. She's looking at me in shock while taking in long panting breaths.

"Oh, Diamond. Hey! Uhh you don't look so hot, wanna go back home?"

"Leave me alone Scootaloo."

"Nah, you look sick. Want for me to get your butler or something? Silver will be here in... hour or so maybe."

"I'm fine go away."

"It'd be no trouble I jus-"

Her lips curl back and she squints at me. Mascara has run down her cheeks. She looks like a hot mess. Jerks her head up so fast her tiara goes all askew, periwinkle and white curls of mane escape from her finely coiffed do.

"Listen you little orange pion I don't want you here! Turn your stupid tail around and leave! Me! Alone!!"

Sisters sake! I know I'm the help but that's uncalled for I was just trying to show some compassion. Who does she think she is, coming back mid-term from her fancy Manehattan business school throwing her weight around. Speaking of weight I got nothing against fillies with a slightly thinker milkshake but if she's throwing up maybe she has some sort of eating disorder, trying to hide it in those dresses like it'll fool anypony. Why would she try to hide her weight unless there was more to the story. And if she's sick it's not like it's my fault... Or maybe... OH! Could she be-?

"Are you deaf as well as crippled!? I Don't Want You Here Scootaloo!"

"Hey, hey don't get upset D. T. It's not good for the-"

" NOT GOOD FOR THE FOAL!? That what you want to say? This must be a childhood dream for you. Go! Go and gossip to your two little friends! If Silver hasn't spilled the news to that horned marshmallow trollop of hers. Can't expect any loyalty from anypony these days. Go tell them! Tell everyone the Rich kid left to become a scion of the business community and came home in disgrace, dropped out, unwed, and knocked up! More to the point, Just GO!"

Then she just puts her nose in the basket and balls her eyes out. I'm too shocked to take any enjoyment out of this. Then so many emotions and thoughts tumble through my brain I can't choose one. How dare she assume I'd rub her nose in it. I'm no bully. That's her turf. Sure, maybe at one point in time I'd love it to see her fall from grace but to actually see it! Diamond Tiara bent over in this sad little vomit-smelling office with her spirits crushed. Who'd wish that on anypony. Even her. I don't know what to do. I kind of want to get out of there like she said but.

"Eveypony else has left me. Why won't you?" Her voice is quiet and wavering like I've never heard before. Feels like I've got storm clouds between my ears. I don't know what to do but then like a lightning bolt hits me I do.

"Nah."

"What!?" More a sob than a word really but if it was one it would be 'what'.

"Said 'nah'. Can't just leave ya. You need a friend right now like it or not and you know what?" I gesture around the little room. "Your dad's not here. Silver Spoon isn't here. Your butler isn't here."

I sit down at her level and reaching out with one hoof gently lift her chin up. I need her to look me in the eye for this dammit.

"You know what Diamond? I can never, NEVER be your friend. I can't forget all you did and said to me. Sickening horrible stuff and don't you dare excuse yourself because of your age. You knew what you were doing. Given a choice I don't want to help you now or ever. But I got one thing setting me apart from all other ponies in Equestria. I'm HERE! And not leaving. I'm getting you a clean shop rag and some spring water. Then my damn coffee. What you need to do is calm your tits. You got that Diamond?"

Could have been less sarcastic in tone but old habits you know. Let's hope she doesn't release that good olde Rich family arrogance on me. Looks like it got through 'cause she can only just blink mutely.

Couple minutes later I'm back with my coffee. Diamond swishes water around her mouth which she daintily spits into the bin. Then she goes about straightening the files on her desk like nothing happened. There's something about her that betrays her though. Makes her look more vulnerable. Takes a bit but I realize she wiped off all her makeup. Haven't seen her like that since way before she got her mark. I slump down in the other office chair and sip my bad coffee.

"Well then."

"Well what?" Falsetto voice on the what. She's gathering together last scraps of dignity.

"Let's talk about it."

"Must we, Scootaloo?"

"Yeah we must. You'll feel better and I'll know I didn't leave you hanging. I swear whatever said stays here."

"This is stupid; I feel stupid. I don't want to talk about it."

"Diamond, having a lover screw you over doesn't make you stupid. It means you were vulnerable and someone betrayed that trust. Doing it twice makes you stupid. And talking about your pain doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong enough to face it." I was hope I was correctly paraphrasing Sweetie Belle's many pep talks to me. She'd be so much better right now but would probably coddle the hell out of Diamond for the sake of her feelings.

"Completely confidential?"

"Hey, it's me." She gave me a look so I Pinkie Pie-Swear on it. I rub my eyelid and get things started. "So, you gonna keep it?"

She sighs and pretends to look bored. "I suppose. Daddy is keen on the idea. And that I do so in full view of the public apparently. I don't know why I am trying to hide it." She smoothed down the front of her brocaded dress.

"What about the father. Is he stepping up and being a stallion?"

"He will once our lawyers are done with him for sure." There's a bit of her old self glimmering through!

"Was it just like a rash spur of the moment fling or did he really work you over? Charm offensive." There were other possibilities of course but I wouldn't wish that on her my worst enemy.

"The latter. Big city bigwig. Fancy party invitations. Lavish gifts. Promises of taking me under his wing. Business connections. That sort of thing." I wonder if he actually had wings. I've known a pegasus or two with horrible taste in mates. "I guess it's a little game he plays with us small-town fillies to ease the ennui."

"What about you, then?"

"What about me?"

"You're a mother now. You gonna step up? This is just my opinion not as an employee or anything but I'd hate to see you dump a foal on your servants for them to raise. That's something a kids remembers later on."

"I'm really trying not to look that far ahead to be honest."

"I advise you think about it... Listen, I love my mom to death and she had all the best intentions, read all the right books, ate healthy, she really wanted to be a mom right? But when I actually arrived she sort of freaked out. Waited until I was weaned and started leaving for weeks at a time. Just wasn't up for the reality."

Diamond Tiara feigns disinterest but I press on. "Luckily I had my dad there for me. Better for your kid to have at least one parent present. And look at me now. I turned out relatively okay."

"Easy for you to say, Scootaloo. I had plans, hopes, dreams. I'll have to put off my education. My reputation is destroyed in certain circles. I wanted to get out of this town." Ha, inwardly I can't help but smirk at that pout but this is genuine pain she's in.

"Some things you'll have to put off. Sure. But you'll have your family and friends nearby. Maybe you can take distance classes and all the hands-0n business training you want at the biggest retailer in Ponyville!"

"I've ruined everything."

"Shit that pity party down. You're still young! Twilight was just a bit older than us when she put off her education indefinitely to become librarian in a Podunk town. Couple years later she was a freakin' princess! You're having a foal sooner and with different circumstances than you expected but you're still the most affluent families in town with tons of opportunities, right?"

"I guess that is true."

"And your father. He pulled you closer to him. To take care of you. Maybe he wishes things went differently but he's hardly disowned you. Hell he created a position here to give you something to focus on and learn from."

An actual tear escapes before she can dab it away. "Perhaps."

"All I'm sayin' is your foal is coming, like it or not, and probably better for everyone if you love it and do right."

"I will take that under advisement, thank you. I feel much better."

"Alright. Good. I'll empty your trash on my way out."

"Oh, and Scootaloo... Be careful on the road today. It's foggy and slick. I wouldn't want you crashing and damaging our customer's merchandise."

I chuckle and head out of her little office. Same old Diamond Tiara. "You got it."

"How about some seconds, dear?"

"I dunno Mrs. Cake I'm pretty stuffed!"

"Some desert then?"

Pound sighs. "Mom! Scootaloo needs to keep her metabolism high. Qualification matches are coming up!"

I chuckle at his earnestness. "Gee squirt, are you my junior manager now or something?"

His face brightens up immediately. "Could I be? I've got lots of great ideas! Hold on, I'll be right back!"

The little colt gallops up the stairs, to his room I guess. I'm a bit startled, then I see Pumpkin's expression. "What's with the smirk, kid?"

"Never underestimate the enthusiasm of a colt too young to have discovered fillies yet. You're in for it. Mom, can I please be excused?"

"Of course, dear. Put your plates in the sink please."

Pound comes back with a big drawing tablet with a long winding looped line scribbled in brown marker. "Okay. Most ponies assume the straightaways is where you can really put on some speed; but I was thinking with the Mockingbird being super maneuverable you can snatch some seconds up on the turns and the slaloms! The other racers will have those bulky high-performance bikes which you can weave past no problem!"

"Pound this is the racetrack in Appaloosa. How did you make this?"

"Pictures from the trade magazines. You don't read those?" He slides and issue out form between the notebook's leaves. Ah there she is, of course. Cover girl Blithe Skim. Beautiful, delicate features, a unicorn, a success story; basically everything I'm not. She loves to get her picture taken and the press loves taking it. I pick up the issue and sigh.

"She's the one to beat."

"Who, Blithe? No problem. She's been on the top of the heap for so long it's a matter of time before a new racer knocks her down and you can do it Scootaloo!"

"I dunno."

Pinkie Pie leans in to collect my plates, silverware, and glasses. "Don't worry, Scootaloo. I'm sure you'll do well. Hard to tell though it's a bit early for the dénouement and I doubt winning the Appaloosa motocross really expresses all the themes so far."

I blink at her. "The de-new-what?"

"The dénouement, silly. You know, the third act climax. It's a Prench word, from Prance!" She bounces off with the flatware balanced precariously on her back.

Pound pats my shoulder. "Don't worry, Scootaloo. Just smile and nod. You get used to it after a while."

Author's Note

Alright, by popular demand of my fan A Foal in Sane is back on schedule again. For those of you following along on the mix tape what am I on, tape 2 side one or something? Strength by Mom the Band is available as always on the Blacksquares Bandcamp page. New chapter in a week or so I swear.