Discord's Problem

by solardancer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Fluttershy, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Comedy
Length: 2924

Discord is in love with Fluttershy, but even though he is "reformed" old habits die hard. What will happen when he enlists Rarity's help in capturing the shy Pegasus's heart?

Discord is in love with Fluttershy, but even though he is "reformed" old habits die hard. What will happen when he enlists Rarity's help in capturing the shy Pegasus's heart?

Published 2013-12-09 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-30 00:27:23 UTC

Chapter 1

It is hard to love another when your appearance and reputation are tarnished. Even my name brings chills to others: Discord, hear how ugly it sounds. Ponies simply seem to forget that the purple pony – what is her name again – Twilight Sparkle was appointed by Celestia to look over the “changed” me. They also seem to forget that I don't ruin their precious little homes anymore after my grand debut (except maybe once or twice... What? I get bored easily). If it wasn't for Fluttershy, I wouldn't be the Discord that I am today.

Fluttershy, that name alone will send bolts of electricity every time I hear or think about it. The kind, understanding pony that truly sees the other side of me. The courageous, righteous pony that helped me through my transformation. The beautiful, gorgeous pony that I irrevocably fell in love with after my transformation was complete. For it is she, and she alone, who is willing to excuse my ugliness. She is my only companion: the only one who still writes letters to me everyday, the only one who sometimes knocks on my doorway to bring me a care package out of kindness. Would other ponies do that to me? Of course not. Fluttershy isn't any pony, she is the BEST pony.

However, it is not easy trying to woo her. Although I have “transformed” in Celestia's terms, old habits die hard. Once in a while Fluttershy will catch me pulling a prank on one of the annoying Cutie Mark Crusaders. Once in a while she will catch me teasing one of her precious animals. She absolutely goes ballistic when she sees me and will give me a good lecture or two. No matter how perverted this might sound, but I actually like those mental breakdowns of hers. It brings me closer to her, and it is one of the only times when her whole attention focuses on me and only me. Luckily, she is the forgiving type, and in a few hours time everything is resolved. Besides, I'm still undergoing “major personality reforms”, according to her friend Twilight Sparkle.

Ponyville is not usually a place where I will stroll around for a morning walk, but I want to “deliberately” bump into Fluttershy today. I arrive at the forest clearing where Fluttershy usually takes her animals out for morning exercises. Sure enough, she is there with a bunch of animals. Unfortunately, all of her friends are too. Hiding behind a tree, I snap my talons and check my portable table calendar. Today is the first weekend of the month, which means Spending-time-with-pets-and-friends Day. Wonderful.

Maybe I should just give up, there are always other times where I can meet her. On the other talon, however, maybe it is a time to impress their friends and change their opinions towards me. This will not only show her how changed I am, it will also impress her for sure. Taking a deep breath, I let out a long string of fire and teleport to the air above the six. “Good morning, everypony! Having fun with your pets, I presume?”

“Oh, good morning Discord. How is everything today?”

Fluttershy's voice almost made my heart explode. “Fine, fine. Though a bit dreary if you ask me, considering I have no neighbors in my area.”

“Sorry to interrupt you guys, but why is Discord here?” Rainbow Dash asks suspiciously, her muzzle mere inches from mine.

Rainbow Dash's words cut my heart open like a knife. “Just wanted to say hi to my fellow friends. I am a 'transformed' beast after all,” I reply.

“Then you can just leave now, you uncouth hooligan! You don't belong here and you know it!” Rarity yells.

“Um, I don't mind having him here.”

“Fluttershy, he nearly demolished Ponyville not too long ago, remember? He still cannot be trusted,” Twilight pleads, pointing her hoof at me.

“But he, um, he-”

“I know you think he has changed, sugar cube, but what he did to us was unacceptable.” Applejack puts a hoof over Fluttershy's shoulder, shooting an angry glance at me.

“Now now, don't you ponies get upset. I was starting to like your pets,” I say. “And besides, they seem to like me. You ponies are just upset that I am better with animals than you guys are.”

I finish with a smirk, and my eyes flash up to Fluttershy's face. What have I done. I immediately snap my talons and teleport back to my lair, my heart smashed into pieces. I will never forget that face, that face full of tears and sadness. I am sure it will plague me in my sleep tonight.

********

“Fluttershy?”

Three days have passed since the Incident and this is the first time I have seen Fluttershy ever since. I have no idea why she decided, out of the blue, to visit my humble abode.

“Um, sorry to be intruding like this. But, um, can we talk?”

“Of course, of course! Come in, make yourself at home!”

Seeing Fluttershy make her way towards the living room gives me the urge to want to hug her, but I manage to resist. She makes herself comfortable on a chair, but she shifts awkwardly back and forth. I offer her some tea and cookies, but she refuses.

“What did you come here for, my friend?”

“Well, I just – um – wanted to see if you were alright?”

No mention of the terrible thing I said three days ago. “You're not mad?”

“Mad about what?”

“About the things I said to your friends three days ago.”

“Oh, that.”

Silence fills the room, and now it is my turn to shift in my seat. One minute passes, two, then three. The intense awkwardness in this room is pressuring me to the point where I start to whistle to break the ice.

“I gotta go! I promised Rarity I would go to the spa with her later!” Fluttershy shouts, and immediately dashes out the door.

“Fluttershy, wait, I'm sorry!” But before the apology leaves my mouth, she is already gone. A heavy feeling fills up my heart. She can make me feel guilty without saying a single word.

********

After days of sulking inside my home, I admit that I'll need all the help I can get. I cannot do this on my own. In order to capture Fluttershy's heart, in order to make her mine, I must have the guidance and teachings of another pony. Preferably somepony extremely close to Fluttershy herself. Finding a pony to help me though, will be a daunting task. I don't know many ponies personally, most of them that live in Ponyville are too scared of me to get close. A trip to Canterlot and hiring a psychiatrist is simply unaffordable at this rate. Vinyl Scratch? Too busy DJ-ing. Octavia? Her voice irritates me. Pinkie Pie? Too hyper. Now Rarity however, will be a different story. Her element is Charity, and she probably will extend a helping hand to a beast in distress.

“No, absolutely not! Not what after you did to that poor Fluttershy!”

Well, my assumptions are proven wrong. “Come on Rarity, just this once. I won't bother you again!”

“Do you think I will help a ruffian like you? What you did to Ponyville was unacceptable! Ruining my shop! You know how long it took me to rebuild this store?”

Yes, Rarity, tell me how long it took you to rebuild your precious clothing store. “I love Fluttershy with all my heart. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye,” I plead.

“Are you really the Discord that I love to hate?” Rarity asks, staring at me above her spectacles. “Are you sure you're not really a Changeling?”

“Who else can I be? Spike the dragon?”

“Don't insult Spikey wikey with your ugly looks!”

Since when did she call that annoying purple dragon “Spikey wikey”? “Please, I'll do anything for you!” I am practically begging on my knees right now.

“Hmmm, when you mean anything you really mean anything?”

“As long as you agree to help me, yes,” I reply, rolling my eyes a bit. She really is a stubborn pony.

“Hmm, since Sweetie Belle is going to be gone during the day, I guess you can help me with the chores around the house.” Rarity looks around the room while she says this. “This place can use some cleaning up, and maids are nonexistent here.”

I sigh and adorn my ghastly maid's uniform. “Does that mean you're willing to help me?”

“Not so fast, I'll need to inspect your quality of cleaning for a week. If you don't meet my standards during the week consider this offer over.”

I knew this was too easy to be true, but if I want Rarity's guidance I will have to suck it up. For a week I mopped and vacuumed the floors, scrubbed the bathrooms, cooked meals, and tidied up the numerous rooms in the house. Is it tiring? Yes, but it is impossible to take a break under the careful eye of Rarity. She is possibly one of the scariest neat freaks I have ever met in my entire life. By the end of the week, I have barely passed her review.

“So when do we start lessons, my great teacher?”

“Monday evening. Don't forget our compromise!”

“How can I forget?” Something tells me tomorrow will be a long day.

Chapter 2

“Now, after dinner you'll need to do the dishes, and after that you'll need empty the litter box.”

“Rarity?

“What's that? And call me Ms. Rarity.”

“When will we start our lessons?” I sound so desperate I might as well be a beggar on the streets of Canterlot.

“Don't be silly, when you finish your chores, of course! Do you honestly think a lady like me would touch something as dirty as a mop?”

“Don't you have your magic to help you? Since you're a unicorn and all?”

“Yes, but it can be a bit tiring, especially when I have a lot of dresses to make. Now run along, if you break one dish you'll have to pay for that.”

“Yes, Ms. Rarity,” I reply sarcastically. I snap my talons and the dishes begin washing themselves. Magic wasn't really part of the deal, but that doesn't mean I cannot use it. Besides, working thirteen hours a day is clearly a violation of Equestria labor laws.... If there were any in the first place. However, if I really want to win Fluttershy's heart, this is part of the bargain. Either take it or leave it.

The litter box takes a while because the stupid cat keeps on getting in the way. By the time the dishes are clean and the litter box is empty the clock shows nine o'clock in the evening. I walk towards the workshop as quickly as I can, which is not very quick considering how short my legs are. “Rarity? I am done! Now can we start our lesson?”

“In a minute, let me put on these beads to the headdress.”

In other words, please wait another hour because I cannot tend to you before I finish this dress. I sigh and snap my talons, sitting on a chair that appears behind me, drumming my talons on the armrest. The workshop is so quiet besides the snips coming from Rarity's direction. I snap my talons and a book appears in my hands. I hope Twilight won't notice until I am done reading this. Daring Do is one of the best book series ever in pony history.

“There, all done! Now we can start on our very first lesson.”

By the time Rarity says this I am already on the last chapter of the second book. I mark my page and return the book to its proper place, jumping off my chair in anticipation. “So what are we going to learn today? The Art of Flirting?” I ask, following Rarity around like a dog.

“We are going to start on the basics first: refining your manners,” She answers, pulling up a stool. “Now sit back down on your chair, you won't be able to leave my house until I find that your manners are suitable enough.”

“Don't mares like you find stallions who be themselves more attractive than those who pretend?” I ask, confused.

“Discord, dear, there is a fine line between being yourself and being plain rude. And frankly you are in the threshold of the latter,” Rarity explains.

Ouch. I knew I can sometimes be a jerk, but I never thought I was this bad. “So where will we start?”

“We will start with the easiest, improving your posture. Don't slump in front of Fluttershy like you are doing now.”

I am suddenly enveloped in blue light, and my body moves unwillingly in place. Instead of my usual sitting position, my back is straight and my legs are perpendicular to the ground. My arms are put rigidly to my sides. I am not accustomed to sitting like this, NOT AT ALL. “What's wrong with my posture? I see no harm in it,” I snap.

“Don't be ridiculous! Bad posture is a sign of laziness, and do you want to be seen as lazy?” Rarity retorts. Without waiting for my reply, she continues, “I guess not. Now, get off the chair, I want to see how you walk.”

“You know I don't really walk... I fly,” I reply, pointing at my short legs.

“Hmm, show me how you fly then.”

The moment I take off the floor I am enveloped in the annoying blue light again. “Gracefully, gracefully, like a gentleman! Don't make Fluttershy thing you are an ugly spirit, make her think you are the best for her.”

I roll my eyes at the word “ugly”, but say nothing. I muster up the most graceful flying position I can manage. “Like this?”

“Hmmm, that will do for now. On with speech!”

Speech therapy is now proving to be the hardest part of the lesson. According to Rarity, I am the rudest person she has ever met. “Now you have to speak in a soft tone, it's Fluttershy after all. You don't want her running off and crying.”

Well I guess she does have a point. The problem is, I've never spoken softly to anypony before. “Like this?”

“You need to be a lot softer than that,” Rarity coaxes. “Try to talk as soft as Spikey wikey!”

Spikey wikey? “You mean that annoying little pesky dragon who lives in Twilight's library?”

“He's not pesky, he's the sweetest dragon I have ever met!” Rarity growls.

I hold my hands up in the air in apology. “Everyone should be entitled to their own opinions, it's a basic right written in the Equestrian constitution.”

“Again,” Rarity commands, obviously still fuming because of my comment.

On and on I try to pass Rarity's speech test, but my efforts are proving to be futile. It is already midnight, and I still haven't passed the tests. “How much longer is this going to take?” I ask, wiping my forehead.

“Well, I really want to get dining etiquette out of the way today, but judging by your progress in speech it probably isn't going to be covered anytime soon,” Rarity says with a yawn.

“Does this mean I am a bad pupil?”

“Nonsense, you're almost there. You just need a little more coaching, that is all.”

Maybe it's her fatigue, but this is the nicest thing she said to me all day. Besides, I'm bust. “Let's call it a day, then. We can pick up tomorrow morning.”

Breakfast doesn't make things much better. This is Rarity's way to access my speech and dining etiquette at the same time. And by her ridiculously high standards, I'm failing in both.

“No elbows on the tabletop!”

“I'm trying but my arms are too short,” I protest, extending them. Even for the most refined pony Rarity can be pretty scary.

“Hmm, that will do then. Your speech has improved since our last meeting together, and your eating habits are starting to make some progress... I guess that wraps up part one of lesson one then!” Rarity thinks aloud.

“That whole thing was just part one?”

“Of course now, silly, we need to find you a perfect suit!”

Suit fitting might not be the most tiring, but it is definitely the most boring. If you cannot stand even one minute of standing still, this probably isn't for you. And my fidgeting is not making Rarity's job much easier.

“Stop squirming! I need to get these measurements right!”

I roll my eyes and grumble, “I hate suits, they are so uncomfortable.”

“Yes, but they do look nice. And being the spirit of discord you might want to look your absolute best when you take Fluttershy out on a date.”

“Who said anything about asking her out on a date?”

“Why, after every lesson is done this will be your final exam!”

Oh jolly, I cannot wait. I wonder if I'll be alive by then?

Author's Note

Hey guys,

I read every single one of your comments, and let me thank everypony who did. Please note that I am still new to fanfiction writing, so there will be some OOC here and there. However, I am trying my best in eliminating that problem all together. Please feel free to leave a comment below with some suggestions. :)

Chapter 3

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