Celestia's Loss

by Jay David

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Sad, Romance, Princess Luna, Other, Random
Length: 2439

Luna and Celestia discuss the former's romances over the past.

At Celestia's request, she and Luna try and catch up during their spare time together. Eventually though, the subject of romance comes up, leading to several happy, yet also sad, memories for the elder Princess.

Published 2013-12-09 20:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-09 20:00:04 UTC

Celestia's Loss

As she gazed upon the letter in front of her, she couldn't help but smile. Celestia, Princess of the sun and co-ruler of Equestria, was sitting quietly in her chambers, near to a roaring fire, reading the latest letter that her former student, Twilight Sparkle, had sent to her. As a Princess herself, Twilight was no longer required to send her letters as he had so frequently done in the past. Still, Celestia couldn't blame her for wanting to continue the practice, as she too looked forward to reading the correspondence from the young alicorn now just as much as she did when she was her student.

This letter, however, was not on some friendship lesson Twilight had learned, but on her latest journey into the Everfree Forest. Celestia had suggested she go there, specifically to her and Luna's old castle, to try and find whatever books she could find regarding the strange box given to them by the tree of harmony. Although Twilight was unsuccessful in that task, she had found something else of interest. It was an old journal, specifically, the journal of Celestia and Luna. The two sisters had used that journal to document their days during their lives together a thousand years ago.

It brought a smile to her face to think back to that old thing, an object she hadn't even thought about in centuries. To know that the records of her and Luna's happier times was still out there, and preserved, was a welcome bit of news for her. As she finished reading the letter, she raised her head and looked over to the door of her chambers, which, as per her orders, had been left open for the time being. Outside, she could just make out the figure of a unicorn guard who had been stationed there, his armour reflecting the orange glow of her fireplace.

Before she could do anything else however, she saw that he began to stand straighter than before, raising his hoof in a salute. Celestia craned her neck a little to see that, as she suspected, her younger sister was now approaching. Luna nodded to the guard before entering the chambers, using her magic to close the door behind her. Celestia smiled at her sister, which Luna returned, before the former gestured to a nearby cushion. Getting the hint, Luna walked over and sat down in it before looking upon Celestia.

"You called me?" She asked.

Celestia nodded.

"Indeed. I figured the two of us haven't really spent that much time together outside of formal occasions. I thought it might be nice for us to catch up".

Luna raised an eyebrow at that before giving a soft smile at her sister. Although it had taken some time, Luna had eventually become used to doing things in a far more relaxed and less-formal way than she would have been used to in the days before her banishment. Back then, the idea of the two sisters just enjoying each others company would have been anathema to her, given how much work was needed. but now, she was more than willing to spend some time here. The night had been prepared, and nothing else was required of her just yet.

So, nodding at Celestia to accept her proposal, Luna used her magic to levitate a nearby cup of tea before taking a quick sip. She then glanced over to the door she'd just come through, which was still shut.

"I've noticed that same guard posted here frequently on several occasions, sister. Did he ask for this posting?" She asked.

Celestia nodded, giving a brief chuckle upon being asked that question.

"Yes. From what I hear, he was rather insistent on getting that position".

The sun Princess couldn't help but notice the mischievous smirk on her sister's face.

"Methinks the young stallion is quite taken with you, Celestia. No doubt you've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks you're not noticing".

The two sisters both shared a laugh at that, hoping very much the poor soul outside couldn't hear them. But the laughter died down soon enough, and Celestia's expression became less cheery than it had been before.

"Perhaps. But I doubt it would be a good choice on his part. I have had my fill of such encounters in my life".

Once she heard this, Luna's expression change. It was now a mixture of surprise and curiosity.

"I don't think I've ever heard of you speak of such things, sister".

Celestia nodded, but only briefly.

"I've tried not to think about it."

Luna was, as one would expect, curious to hear more about this. But one look on her sister's face made it obvious to her that this was somehow a touchy subject. Nevertheless, her curiosity got the better of her.

"So...how many?"

Celestia glanced over to her before looking thoughtful for a moment, as if trying to recall long-forgotten memories.

"Four."

Looking upon her younger sister, Celestia could see that she was eager to hear more about this. But the elder sister was less than keen to discuss the matter. However, she had asked her here for the two to try and reconnect, and since Luna had shown an interest in learning this about her, she had no real reason to deny her. After all, the two had been apart for a very long time, and even after Luna's reutrn, they hadn't had any lengthy talks about anything not related to state matters. So, sighing, Celestia relented.

"Over the last thousand years I have had relations with four stallions. Two were unicorns, one a pegasus, and the last was an earth pony. Centuries separated them, but each one was different. And though my memories of them have faded over the years, I was nevertheless happy when I was with them."

Celestia's expression changed, becoming happier. Her memories of those past times with those stallions was clearly cheering her up, as Luna could see. This was not a side of her elder sister that the moon Princess had ever considered before, and her own lack of romantic liaisons made it hard not to feel a little jealous of her right now. But that jealousy faded when she saw the sadness from before return to Celestia's face. Whatever happiness she might have felt from those memories had clearly not lasted long.

"But, as you know, the one great difference between other ponies and alicorns like us...is our age".

Luna looked away at that comment. She knew what was coming next, though knowing didn't make it any easier to hear.

"Although I tried to keep my unions to those stallions for as long as I could, time is an enemy even I cannot vanquish. They fell to old age, one by one. When the last passed from this world, I couldn't bear the thought of having it happen again. So...I vowed he would be the last".

The younger sister looked up at Celestia, whose pain was an easy expression to read. She felt deep regret over having asked this question now. It was clearly an old wound that Celestia did not want re-opened. The Princess of the moon thought quietly for a moment over what she'd learned. Her sister had gone through a great deal of heartache during her absence, something she herself had never dealt with. But even so, curiosity was something that Luna could not simply brush aside.

"Tell me...did you love them?" She asked.

Celestia looked up at her sister, her face still pained. But eventually, a small smile returned to her, and she nodded.

"I did. I knew what was coming with each of them, but it didn't mater. I merely cherished the time we had, however brief it might have been to one as old as myself. Even if I could go back and choose not to be with them, even if it was to spare myself the pain, I wouldn’t. Because the happiness I felt when I was with them was more than worth the pain I knew I would feel at their passing".

The elder sister's expression became difficult to read once more, as she looked away from Luna.

"But...I was wrong to want to be with them."

Luan raised an eyebrow at that, prompting Celestia to explain herself further.

"There were times when I would realise that, for all the friends I had, I was alone in this world. You were gone, the one constant thing in my life taken from me. As such, there was more than one occasions when my willingness to be with others like that was out of...sheer loneliness".

The younger princess looked sadly at her sister. She knew that feeling all too well. Never having anypony by your side to endure the passage of so many centuries. She'd never once considered that such isolation would have been just as difficult for her as it was for Luna. In that regard, the younger sister could not blame her elder for wanting some for of companionship, if only to stave off such lonely feelings.

"It wasn't fair to them, I've come to realise that. They loved me, and though I felt love for them in return, I always felt wrong, knowing that I had them by my side just to make myself feel better in your absence. It was...unworthy of me".

Although the younger sister silently agreed with Celestia on that, she also acknowledged that the alternative, being completely alone for a thousand years, was equally undesirable, which was something she could vouch for personally. Luna couldn't fathom having ever gone through such a thing as what Celestia had endure. The closest she'd ever felt was her separation from her for a thousand years, buried in the darkness of her own heart. But to have loss like this happen to her so many times, and yet still carry on, was a strength she couldn't help but admire her for. It was here that Luna saw that Celestia got up from her sitting position and walked over to a nearby table, ready to make another pot of tea for the two of them.

"Tell me, Luna. Have you ever been close to another pony before?"

The younger sister's eyes widened with embarrassment over that and her cheeks blushed a little. In answer to her sister though, she silently shook her head. It wasn't as though she'd never want such a union, it's just that she'd never really worked up the nerve to approach anypony about it. With her having felt the way she did a thousand years ago, she'd never felt that anypony would accept her even if she did make the offer. And even after her return, she'd remained relatively reclusive, at least as far as matters of the heart went.

It was something that had not escaped Celestia's notice.

"While I cannot say that things will be easy, as my story has no doubt informed you, believe me when I say that companionship such as that, however short it may be, is worth it".

Luna looked away from her sister as the latter turned to face her. The notion of just going forward and asking a stallion out had never really occurred to Luna that much. She wasn't opposed to the idea exactly, she just didn't know how best to proceed. Besides, with her sister having had the track record she did, it wasn't as though there wasn't precedent for relationships between alicorns and regular ponies to be successful. Still, she hesitated on the notion, leading to an impatient Celestia looking slightly irritated at her younger sister.

But that look changed to a more mischievous one as she looked from her sister, to the door of her chambers. Before Luna could stop her, Celestia called out.

"Guard! Would you mind coming in here please?"

Luna looked up as the doors opened and the guard stationed outside entered, instinctively saluting as he did so.

"Yes, your majesty?" He asked.

Celestia nodded at him briefly before pointing a hoof to her sister.

"Guard, my sister will be requiring an escort during her duties tomorrow evening. Would you be so kind as to accompany her that night?"

Luna's head snapped back in Celestia's direction, her face bearing the biggest look of shock one could possibly expect on a pony. Celestia had to resist with all her might so as to not burst with laughter right then and there. The guard meanwhile, merely looked at the moon Princess' odd expression with some confusion. Still, his more disciplined side kicked in soon afterwards and he saluted once more.

"Indeed, your highness. I will stand by her side all of tomorrow night". He said.

Nodding at that, Celestia gestured to him, letting him leave. Once the guard was out of the room and the door closed behind him however, Luna stood on all fours and approached her sister in a manner half-aggressive and half-confused, as also evidenced by her speech.

"But...what...why....what do you...WHAT?!"

Celestia raised a hoof, trying to calm her younger sibling down.

"Relax, sister. I know what I'm doing. It'll be good for you, trust me. Besides, you did want to know what it was like to get close to somepony, am I right?"

Luna opened her mouth to answer back at that, but instead she simply fumbled her words over and over, trying to come up with a good explanation to try and get out of her sister's attempts at matchmaking. In the end, she merely sighed deeply, giving up on the whole attempt, much to Celestia clear joy, judging from the massive grin she had on her face now. Luna knew her sister well enough to know that there was no talking her out of this once she set her mind to it. So, relenting, Luna used her magic to grab a piece of nearby cake to eat. Besides, she told herself, Celestia knew more about this sort of thing than she did, so maybe there was some value in this after all, however unwilling she might be right now.

Meanwhile, Celestia, keeping her grin, now afforded herself a quiet giggle, much to Luna's chagrin.

"Oh Luna. Trust me on this one. Hesitant though you may be, it'll be worth it..."

The younger sister once more raised an eyebrow at that, knowing her sister well enough to know that this was not all she had to say. And sure enough, it wasn't, just as her smile somehow got even bigger.

"...if only so I can see the look on your face when you come back afterwards".