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Where I once dreamt of the desolate and abhorrent wasteland that is the toil of life, now my dreams are full of pretty pony plots bouncing as they trot.
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"And she won't come out at all?" Princess Celestia asked Feather Duster, her personal assistant, with a small frown as she sat her large, paperwork strewn, desk.
"No, your majesty, Princess Luna refuses to come out of her room," Feather Duster answered with a sigh before adding, "She even raised and lowered the moon from her room."
"Did Luna say it was about?..." Celestia asked, while vaguely gesturing to her eye.
"Um, more or less, yes," Feather answered, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck.
Celestia, sighed softly as she rubbed her forehead. Though she loved her sister dearly, there were times -several to be honest- when Luna seemed to exist solely to try her patience to its limit.
"Um, Princess, perhaps we could ask somepony to talk to Princess Luna out of her room?" Feather Duster ventured cautiously.
"Who could we send, Feather?" Celestia asked as she shuffled a few proposals needing her approval about her desk.
Feather Duster tapped her chin while running the names of Luna's, admittedly small, circle of trusted friends, before thinking of one of the Night Princess' few friends who wouldn't be busy with their job. "Well, your majesty, there is Eric."
Princess Celestia looked up from her paperwork to give her personal assistant a rather dubious look.
"Well, um, he and your sister often play video games together and he often keeps her company during the more lonely hours of the Night Court," Feather Duster said, a bit hesitantly explaining her idea.
"They do get along quite well," Celestia said with a pensive expression upon her regal face.
"Plus being the resident human-pony relations representative, he lives in the castle, so fetching him shouldn't be to difficult," Feather added with a hopeful smile.
Celestia sighed softly, before nodding in agreement. "Very well, Feather, see of you can find him and ask him to speak with my sister about her self imposed hermitage."
"Right away, your majesty," Feather Duster replied with a short bow, before quickly trotting out the door.
"I'm telling you, Bolt, it's a conspiracy," Eric, one of three dozen humans currently residing in Equestria after a little spat between Celestia and Discord inadvertently ripped a hole between dimensions two years ago, said as he moved a red piece on the checkerboard.
"And what might that be, Eric?" Bolt, a rather lanky turquoise maned and blue coated pegasus stallion, with a silhouetted, blurred pegasus cutie mark, asked as he nudged a black checker piece over to a an adjacent square.
With a roll of his hazel eyes, Eric gestured with his thumb to a passing guardsmare's rather toned and well formed flanks. "That Celestia only keeps the most well 'formed' female guards and castle staff."
"This again?" Bolt asked tiredly as he flopped back into the overstuffed chair. "We've been over this a few dozen times, buddy."
"I'm just saying that's the way it seems after my many hours of observation," Eric replied, running his fingers through his short, dirty blonde hair, before drinking from a nearby glass.
"Or you're just a flank watcher," Bolt countered with a snort.
Eric, for his part, nearly shot apple juice out of his nose in response to his friends accusation, which earned a smug grin from Bolt.
"That's not the point," Eric said with a frown, wiping stray juice from his mouth with his hand.
"Says the flank watcher," Bolt replied, deftly parrying his human friends counter.
"Look, flanks are hard to ignore to begin with..."
"I'm not interrupting anything important, am I?" Feather Duster asked with a cheeky grin.
Eric just sat there, mouth open and turning about three shades of red, while Bolt grinned like a Cheshire Cat.
"Nope, just discussing the odd hobbies of the castle's resident human," Bolt explained with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"Isn't it illegal to harass an endangered species?" Eric asked with a flat look.
"You'll live," Bolt said, getting up and stretching his wings, "Anyways I'm off, I gotta go and get into my armor before my shift for patrol."
After Bolt trotted off, Eric turned his attention to Feather Duster. Since she was the Princess Celestia's number one aide, Eric had a good guess as to why Feather had been looking for him.
"So did you actually need me for something, Feather?" Eric asked while picked up the checker pieces and resetting the board.
"Princess Luna won't come out of her room, again," Feather replied as she watched the humans deft fingers at work.
"Let me guess, you and Princess Celestia want me to talk to her like last time?" Eric asked sitting back and folding his arms over his chest.
"You're the only one Princess Luna will allow into her room when she's in one of her moods," Feather explained with an pleading expression.
Eric rubbed his face before and thought over how miserable Princess Celestia could make his life if he refused this request. Sure, the Princess would never actually hurt him, or anybody else for that matter, but Celestia had said she could bury him in menial and redundant paperwork as a nonviolent punishment. Being the head of human-pony relations did have its drawbacks at times.
"Alright, Feather, I'll go talk to Princess Melodrama," Eric said standing up from the overstuffed chair.
Feather Duster sighed in relief, "Thank you, Eric. Do you want me to walk with you?"
"Thanks, but I'll be fine," Eric replied before he started down the marble halls of the castle.
Eric contemplated how bad Luna's mood might be, after their last encounter, as he approached the ebony double doors that led to Princess Luna's room. Eric paused as he observed that the two Night Guards, that normally stood at attention were nowhere in sight. A quick glance around the doors revealed a note card taped above the doors handles.
Is there life after death? Touch this door and ye shall find out!!
"Cute," Eric said with a wry grin before he knocked loudly on the door and waited for her Dramatic Royal Highness to answer.
"Who dares disturb, the Lunar Regent!?" Eric heard Luna call out from behind the door.
"The only living being that kicks your flank at Dynasty War Mares," Eric declared with his arms crossed.
Sounds like Luna's on the far side of the room. Which means she's probably in front of the tv playing video games, Eric thought to himself before he heard the door unlock.
"We grant thee audience, friend Eric!" Luna called out again, not even bothering to open the door for him.
Eric rolled his eyes and walked into the room, closing the door behind himself. The furniture that filled Luna's room was mostly antique in appearance, which always reminded Eric of Victorian Era design, with a few high back chairs, a pair of round ottomans, and a long coffee table. Then of course there was Luna's large canopy bed. However, Luna wasn't on it, she was instead, plopped on a large blue cushion, in front of her massive 82" television, with controller in magical grip, and an array of junk food around her.
"Still stuck on level 86, Moon Butt?" Eric casually asked as he sat beside Luna and grabbed a candy bar from the pile of nearby snacks.
"Silence! You will break my concentration!" Luna snapped, her eyes remaining glued to the action on the screen.
"I'll take that as a yes," Eric said with a smirk as he watched the princess' character battle against a horde of shadow beasts as it made its way to a glowing checkpoint, idly noting that Luna had placed the spare cushion he typically used on her left side.
Putting that thought aside for the moment, Eric watched with an amused smirk as Luna wriggled her flank into the cushion and bit her bottom lip in concentration. Though he would always deny it, Eric was absolutely a flank watcher and Luna had quite the nice toned flank; sure Celestia was more curvaceous and full figured, but there was just something about Luna's dark blue plot that could hypnotize him for hours.
"Quit staring, it's distracting me," Luna said firmly without turning away from the screen.
Plus Luna was just more approachable, than her sister.
Eric just rolled his eyes and munched on the chocolate bar, patiently waiting for Luna to either finish this level or lose, whichever came first.
He didn't have to wait long, after a few moments Luna's character was, quite literally, squashed by the level boss. The Night Princess groaned in frustration then tossed her controller to the side and turned off the tv.
"Rage Quit: 10, Moon Butt: 0," Eric said giving Luna a sidelong grin.
Luna growled and turned to face her human friend, ready to unleash a stinging remark, but was stopped when Eric pointed to the right side of her face.
"You're still wearing that eye patch?" Eric asked pointing to the white cloth eye patch.
Luna blushed and turned away with nose held high, "It is your fault I'm wearing in the first place!"
"I told you I was sorry," Eric said as he ran a hand down the back of Luna's neck and between her wings.
"And I have told you before, words are not enough for me," Luna replied curtly as she pushed off his hand with a telekinetic burst of magic.
Eric hung his head at Luna's harsh reminder, "Yeah, I remember you something along those lines."
"Stars above, you never listen to me properly...," Luna chided Eric with a haughty tone as she paced back and forth in front of him.
Eric did try to listen to Luna, he really did, but that flank of hers just reeled in his attention. Those subtle, lovely curves of hers, the way each cheek rose and fell as she trotted, and how that starry tail flowed on ethereal winds just above Luna's curvy...
"Like now! Whatever I say goes in one of your ears out the other, without the slightest heeding!" Luna declared, snapping him back into reality, as she pressed her nose against his and glared angrily at him.
"I'm listening, I'm listening!" Eric said holding his hands up defensively.
Luna snorted in disdain and took a step back, but kept up her one eyed glare, "If you did indeed listen to me, even half as heartily as you watched my flank, you would have never went off into my eye."
"I've told I'm sorry a hundred times already," Eric said with a blush as he leaned back on his palms.
"Humph! You already know what manner of tribute that I require for forgiveness," Luna said, looking over her shoulder with a coy grin, the Night Princess ran her cool, ethereal tail up Eric's chest, throat, and finally brushed it teasingly against his face.
Eric closed his eyes and bit his lip, emitting a low moan as the semisolid tail caressed his face and the sweet, heady scent of lilac flooded his nose. Luna grinned as Eric leaned foreword, unconsciously following her ethereal tail as she slowly pulled away. Deciding she wanted to cut to the chase, Luna brought her magic forth and tweaked Eric's nose, pulling him out of his trance.
"Are you waiting for a formally written invitation?" Luna impatiently asked as she slipped off her mithril shoes then looked at the human expectantly.
"As my dear, Moon Butt, wishes," Eric said before slipping out of his shirt.
"Ugh, must you use that terrible nicknaaaah!" Luna nearly yelped as Eric scooped her up in his arms, bridal style.
"Only so long as it annoys you, Moon Butt," Eric replied with a smirk and kissed Luna on the tip of her nose, before setting her on the edge of the bed and settling on his knees.
"Mmm, you are terrible, you know," Luna said with shiver as Eric squeezed and rubbed her stiff wings joints.
"Oh, I know," Eric replied grinning as he ran his hand down Luna's back, grabbing her tone flank and giving it a firm squeeze as he nuzzled her cool ethereal tail, eliciting a low moan from the dark alicorn.
"Mmm cease teasing me and get to work," Luna panted out before rolling onto her back, spreading her legs, revealing her glistening mound, as she wrapped her ethereal tail around Eric's neck and tugged him closer.
Eric licked his lips in anticipation, then buried his face between Luna's legs squeezing her supple flanks. The dark alicorn moaned and shivered as Eric's tongue pushed and wriggled inside her hot, wet, tight depths while his hands squeezed and rubbed her cheeks.
Luna nearly squeaked as Eric slowly dragged his tongue up and down her hot wet slit in long slow licks, pausing to flick his tongues tip against her hard clit. Luna groaned in frustration at his teasing, then grinned wickedly as she pushed some magic into her ethereal tail, giving it a more solid nature, and tightened her grip around Eric's throat then yanked his face against her wet lips and wrapped her legs around his head holding him in place. Eric squirmed and gripped Luna's flank tightly, trying to get more than just his nose above the dark alicorn's hot, slick sex.
"I told you to not tease so much," Luna purred as looked down at Eric wearing that wicked grin of hers.
Eric glared up at the night princess, before sliding himself forward and catching Luna's clit between his lips sucking on the little button hard, causing Luna to buck her hips and loosen her grip. Eric then quickly cupped and squeezed Luna's breasts, rolling her hard nipples between his agile fingers as he kept his lips clamped around her hard clit sucking and twirling his tongue around it in time with his pinching and tugging of Luna's nipples. The night princess moaned and arched her back as a strong orgasm sent shivers up her spine.
Eric sat up and licked his lips, enjoying the taste of Luna's juices, as he watched the night princess enjoying the afterglow of her orgasm.
"Feeling better now, Moon Butt?" Eric asked while he caressed the dark alicorn's flanks.
"Mmm indeed, but we are not done yet," Luna replied as her horn light up with magic and she levitated the human onto the bed, then unceremoniously yanked off his pants with a tug off magic revealing Eric's nine inch throbbing member.
Luna smirked looking up at the blushing human, "No undergarments today? How daring."
"It's been hot lately," Eric lamely offered, feeling vaguely awkward, despite the semi-regularity of his and Luna's "private time".
"No matter, I believe a reward for your tongues skill is order" Luna stated as she rolled onto her side, so she laid with her side towards the human.
Eric was about to make a snarky remark about Luna's ego, but all that left his mouth was a low groan as a dark blue telekinetic aura engulfed his throbbing member. Eric bit his lip and gripped the sheets as Luna's telekinesis slowly stroked and squeezed his full length, like a velvet vise.
Luna watched, with amusement and arousal, as the human squirm under her magics touch, "Shall I assume you enjoy my teasing, as well?"
"Mmm, a bit yes," Eric replied in a blissful low moan.
"Just a bit? Then I suppose I shall have to administer your favorite reward," Luna said lustfully as turned with her tone flank facing Eric's throbbing erection, ceasing her magics teasing, and ran her ethereal tail against the humans hard member in a dusting motion.
Eric moaned loudly and gripped Luna's tone flank, giving it firm squeeze, as the night princess' cool ethereal tail teased, then wrapped around, and stroked his hard throbbing cock.
"Mmm, magnificent," Eric panted out and dug his nails into Luna's blue supple flank, eliciting an approving moan from the dark alicorn.
"Such a perverted vice you have, my dear boy," Luna sighed out while she looked behind herself and watched Eric moan and shiver as her ethereal starry tail caressed him.
Luna smirked as she poured a surge of magic into her tail giving it an almost prehensile dexterity and began to quickly stroke Eric's hard member while she wriggled back and rubbed her hot, slick lips against the head of the humans hardness.
Eric shivered and let out a deep throaty moan at the feeling of his shaft being stroked by the cool, silk like tail of the night princess and her hot lips teasingly rubbing his hard cocks head. Luna bit her lip as she felt Eric's hard member twitching against her slick lips with each roll of her hips.
"Lu-Luna, I'm almost there," Eric desperately panted out as he felt his own orgasm creeping up on him.
Luna took this as her signal and loosened her tails grip on the humans hard member. She then abruptly thrust her supple flank back against Eric, literally inhaling the full length his hard cock into her hot, wet depths and gave his engulfed member a hard squeeze with her walls. The constricting of Luna's tight, hot, wet velvety walls around him pushed Eric over the edge, he let out shuddering moan as he came deep inside the night princess.
"Mmm don't hold back, my dear," Luna moaned, feeling the humans hot seed filling her up.
Eric mumbled incoherently between his ragged breathes and fell forward onto Luna's back. Luna sighed contentedly, enjoying the feeling of being so deliciously full, while her dear friend caressed her neck and nipped at ear tenderly.
Since Luna didn't have any obligations that night and Eric was on his weekend off. The pair decidedly remained in bed, with Eric reclining into the mass of pillows Luna kept on her bed, the night princess, herself, lazily laid across her dear humans lap.
"Feeling better now, Luna?" Eric asked as he ran a fine toothed brush through the dark alicorn's tail.
"Mmm, indeed," the night princess sleepily replied, flicking her tail so it brushed against Eric's arm.
Eric smiled as he watched Luna's tail dance over his arm, but his smile faded as a thought popped into his head.
"Wait, why are you still wearing that eye patch?" Eric asked, looking down at the dark alicorn.
"The what?" Luna muttered half asleep.
"The eye patch, Moon Butt. Why are you still wearing it almost a month later?" Eric asked flicking the dark alicorn's ear.
Luna shook her at her being flicked then looked up at Eric with a grin,
"Oh you mean this?" Luna asked plucking the eye patch off and revealing an unmarred cyan eye.
"If it's already healed then why did you keep wearing it?" Eric asked crossing his arms.
"Simple: it made guilt tripping you is far easier," Luna explained with a chuckle.
"You really are evil," Eric replied with a flat look.
Luna merely laughed in response and settled back onto her dear humans lap.
- End -
Author's Note
By Celestia's pearly white buttocks, writing this was a huge pain! I am very much out of practice when writing a male protagonist. That aside, it was rather fun writing out Luna as 3/10 tsundere.
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