This Is Not A Drill

Hearth's Warming Eve - what a wonderful time of year for Equestria. Well... yeah, there was a bloody and long war going on, and everypony was still pretty scared out of their wits over the idea of Zebra aerial attacks... but it was still a merry time of the year! Mares and Stallions bundled from the cold, fillies and colts oohed and aahed at the beautiful decorations all strewn about, and everypony enjoyed their lives for what they were worth for a few days of the year. They could afford to forget about the war for a short while, at least, everypony deserved to relax and feel a sense of normalcy in the crazy way the world was... except, well, for me. No relaxing underneath the icebox, not when you've got a radar screen to watch, for hours on end.

Equestrian Aerospace Defense, probably one of the most survivable facilities around if everything went to hell. I swear they overengineered this place on purpose - those springs that hold up the floor are absolutely insane! How big a strike are they thinking this place would have sent against it? I mean, I've heard about those big tests conducted east of here, but... Zebras couldn't have things like whatever those are, right? Guh, stop thinking about it North Star, you're just watching for dragon aerial strike fleets. Slow-moving, obvious, big dragon aerial strike fleets.

The green line continued to sweep around the screen, little square blips marking friendlies. Buh, seen the same five or so markers every day, day in, day out, same place. To the far west, barely on the screen, was the Sea Mare Ordinance Depot; Down south of us, Trotisk Ordinance Depot; further south was the Pripytrot Ballistic Missile Base, and square in the bottom right quarter was the Quebuck Ballistic Missile Base; and top left, our furthest north airbase, Sunrise Castle. Blip, bleep boop, bleep bleep. Blip, bleep boop, bleep bleep. Same thing, every day, day in and day out. How I'm not in the nuthouse yet, I don't know.

"Oh hey, fifty-thousandth and sixty-second sweep of the day... and still nothing. Blip, bleep boop, bleep bleep. I feel like I'm listening to a RobronCo securimare..." I dropped my head to the desk, listening to the constant beeping in my ears as it went around for sweep 50,064. There was a time when I took this job seriously, but... it's always slower in the winter months. They've only been doing tactical attacks, and hardly any of them have been in this neck of the woods. None on my screen. The same monotonous beeping. I looked up, resting my head on my hoof, idly chewing on my pen and glancing down at the notepad;

24th December, 09:14 - speck spotted on screen, no beep, not moving. Monitoring closely.

24th December, 09:35 - speck determined to be just a bit of snack cake. Remember to smack E.D. across the face next shift change. Slob.

24th December, 15:47 - 25,000th sweep today, woo-hoo!

24th December, 22:56 - I need coffee.

I played with the pen in my mouth idly, the same five beeps sounding out. I swear I could write a song to it if I had the sense to go through with it. The clock kept on ticking around, moving the day forwards. Was going to be Hearth's Warming Day in only an hour. Oh yay, that means only one more hour until I get to smack that slob across his face... and one more hour of listening to this beeping. Blip, bleep boop, bleep bleep. Blip, bleep boop, bleep bleep. Blip, bleep boop, bleep bleep, bip. Blip, blee- wait a minute.

The arm swung around again, and again there was an extra bip in the system. Right on the far left edge of the screen, a single, pointy object moved across, jumping from spot to spot. Oh boy, I needed the adrenaline rush! 24th December, 23:04 - unidentified object in system, moving W-E, high speed. Tracking. Confidence high. This is really happening. I pushed on the button at my station, looking up to the big board ahead and stuttering into the3 microphone, hearing my voice over the speakers.

"A-ahm, unidentified object in the system, grid reference Zero, Fiver, Zero, Foxtrot, Mike. Confidence Report?" W-what was this thing? Did the Zebras... was this some new dragon or something? I've never seen anything move that fast before. A murmuring rose from the other seats, my screen suddenly being shown on one side of the big board, along with little points lighting up along the continent. There was a distinct track it was following - it was going to fly right over Trotisk, and head straight for Sea Mare. Or, maybe they'd change course and land in Quebuck. Or, or maybe they'll just take out Trotisk... oh goddesses, this was really happening!!

"Confidence Report, grid reference Zero, Four, Zero. Confidence high."

"Confidence Report, grid reference Zero, Four, One. Confidence high."

"Confidence Report, grid reference Zero, Fiver, One. Confidence high."

I could feel my breathing starting to quicken as the bip kept on moving, traveling between Pripytrot and Trotisk. It had to be moving at a kilometer a second, at least! No way this could be a dragon attack - too fast, and, and... there was only one in the system. Could, could it be a... "Are we scheduled for a launch today? Somepony, get the nearest base on the line, uh... um... the one by Stalliongrad, yeah, that one." I shouted in the mike, watching the bip continue on it's path. It'd be over the highway and on route to Quebuck now. Ponies outside would be looking up and seeing whatever this thing was screaming across the sky. Ooh, if only we had eyes on the outside. We've just got a big computer screen representation of the entire continent. It's not like we had video cameras out- just a bucking minute.

"Somepony, try to patch in a video feed from, from, well, anywhere! Quebuck, their Ballistic Defense Base, wherever!!" The murmuring rose again - and yet it still was just the one bip. You'd think, if this was an attack, there'd be more of them flying over the horizon... Oh, goddesses, you had to fear for the worst, though. Could they have made some kind of new superweapon, or something? Were they launching these things in waves, or just hoping to hit as many targets as they could with one strike?

The screens in the main room flickered, patchy video coming in of the sky over the Quebuck defense base. A great light trailed behind a huge, dark form, the camera following it as it passed by the city... least they weren't striking civilians. Yet. It kept it's course, leaving a streak of smoke behind it as it screamed overhead, the camera's motors whirring to keep up with the missile. It zoomed out, getting a good shot of the broadside of the rocket as it passed over the base, a frame captured from it displayed over the map. Those were... Equestrian Military markings. What?

The camera spun around, or the video feed switched, I dunno. The screen showed the tail end of the missile, the engine behind it pushing it straight towards the Sea Mare facility. Everything was tense as all eyes were watching the screens, tracking the missile - OUR missile - that was flying overhead. The camera continued to follow the missile closely, zoomed right up to the firey exhaust as it kept going, speeding on to the target. Did the Zebras manage to take over the base while we weren't looking? Did somepony misfire on purpose?

Are we watching the start of the end, live?

The screen showing the live video suddenly burst into white, the camera seizing up as astonished gasps rose from my co-workers. I looked down at my screen - there was a big greenish splotch halfway between Quebuck and Sea Mare. Radar interference? What the hell was up with that? No, wait, back up, what the hell was THAT!? The camera had been stuck in place, and cries began sounding in the room. Wind was whistling in the camera's microphone as we all watched a massive cloud beginning to rise from the snowy grounds, shaped like a huge cauliflower, or mushroom, or something. A snowy blizzard seemed to grow infront of it, the few clouds that were in the sky now entirely vaporized. As the snowstorm reached the base, and the camera, the speakers resounded with a massive, rumbling BANG!, making everypony jump in surprise as it rumbled away, the camera having been shaken to a skewed angle. The speakers whined for a moment, before being cut in by the voice of a stallion.

"Mares and Stallions of EQUAD, this is the Commander-in-Chief of this facility. We have received word that this was an unanticipated test of a marine-launched cruise missile carrying a Megaspell warhead. This incident was NOT an attack by Zebra forces - repeat, NOT an attack - and the missile has not caused any recorded casualties thus far, safely detonated above a designated area far away from civilian centers. Continue on with your service... and Merry Hearth's Warming Eve to you all." The speaker system fizzled out, the tenseness in the room seeming to fade with it. I fell back into my chair, letting loose a sigh of relief - good, the world wasn't going to end tonight.

December 25th, 00:12 - Misfire, test of the system. Armageddon not around the corner. N.S. clocking out.

December 25th, 00:34 - E.D. clocked in. Note to self, don't eat at the work station anymore. OW!