The Elements of Darkness: Element #1 Suffering

When Worlds Collide

I sat on the floor where I landed for what seemed like hours before I could gather enough will to stand. The floor was warm against my hooves, not just where I was sitting but all around the cell, like the stone itself was heated. I could find no discernable sources of light though the room was not completely dark. I found myself banging my shins on the simple stone slab that stretched across one side of the room.

They expect me to live in this. There is no plumbing and they haven’t even fed me yet.

Twenty-two steps from the slab to the seamless door.

Am I going crazy?

No, I’m just beginning to see,

They never wanted anything to do with me.

Tales of secret organizations and darkness they told,

To make me believe I could be part of the fold.

Foolish was me to believe I could be of use.

To these ponies who had nothing to gain and a lot to lose.

“Poetry comes and goes but a mind is forever.”

Don’t you dare quote me like that!

“I do what I want”

Do you? Do you really? Because I was under the impression that you would just be a manifestation of my own pride. But you have the full spectrum of emotions. Sounds more like a hallucination to me.

“You’re trying to discredit yourself?”

Why the hell not? I’m crazy aren’t I?

“Why is it hard to believe that Equestria would hold so many secrets? Do you honestly think you can learn all about a world from a television show? ”

The ponies in that hell acted like ponies should; they didn’t hold secrets or lie to me. Ever since I came into this world everypony has acted with so much forced cheer and tried to answer all of my questions. Why can’t you see that they only saved me so they could get their hands on the pony soul I hold in my chest?

“Let’s pretend that that’s true for a bit. What would our plan be? How would you survive?”

I’ll refuse to give them what they want. I’ll keep Colgate with me forever.

“You honestly think that you could be cruel enough to hold that girl in that torturing stone forever?”

Well…

“Of course not.”

That doesn’t change the fact that they are lying to me.

“Are they? Or have we just not met the right kind of pony?”

I don’t know!

My head fills with pain and I stumble over to the stone slab and throw myself into its warm embrace.

I-I can’t think about it now

“Then when will you think about it? What are we to do? If we believe you then we are screwed as long as they hold us here and if we believe that dragon and pony running off could be disastrous for thousands of ponies.”

Just leave me alone for a while.

The stone is softer than I originally thought and my muscles relax causing sleep to approach quickly

__________________________________________________________________________________________

“But I have to see him! I promised him answers!” Luna’s voice booms from the other side of the door

“Princess’s orders nopony goes in or out of the prisoner’s cell.” came the flat response of the
Guardspony

“And what is to stop me from simply breaking down the door?”

“You know as well as I do that that door is made of pure madness ore. Even the strongest Draconian magic would take hours to get through it and by then Celestia would be here to stop you.”

“What makes you think that this is necessary? He is the last of his kind lost and confused, you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t hate us after this.”

“I don’t question my orders your highness just follow them.”

“UGH” Luna screamed in disgust and the sound of retreating footsteps assaulted my ears

_________________________________________________________________________________

That was a strange dream. Like Luna even cares about me. None of them care. If it wasn’t for Colgate they would’ve let me suffer at Michael’s hands. She doesn’t even care. She sees me as a monster. Maybe it would’ve been better for both of us if I’d just given up and died.

“STOP THINKING LIKE THAT!”

Aww is the hallucination scared that I’m going to off myself?

“What’s gotten in to you?”

Oh just a little thing called reality! Had to catch up with me eventually!

“You’re in a magical world full of talking ponies and you’re lecturing me about reality! Get a hold of yourself!”

I refuse good sir! Now if you will excuse me I have the rest of my live to live in captivity.

“That’s it! I’ll make you listen to me!”

Fat chance!

The pain in my head increased and a hand materialized in front of my eyes.

“Do your worst!”

The hand slams into my face and forces it back until the only thing I can see is a field of white

Oh so you’ve succeeded in forcing me in here. Tell me again how this is going to make me listen to you.

Pride walks out of the nothingness to my left and grabs me by the shoulders

“Damn it! Why can’t you just live your own life instead of constantly trying to help others? What makes you feel so worthless that the only way you can even consider living is for the benefit of some other person?”

Closing my eyes I forced a memory of my favorite hill that I used to sit on to clear my head into my thoughts and blocked out the rest of Pride’s rant.

When I opened my eyes I found myself sitting on a perfect replica of the hill. I’d always liked this hill because no matter what time of day it was the hill was cooled by the vapors coming off the creek at its base and one could see for miles out onto the farmland.

This hill no longer exists. Why do I?

I pulled up memories of the hundreds of sunsets and rises I watched from the hill. I was content to just sit there and stare at nature until a more prevalent memory assaulted my vision; it was the memory of the first time I acknowledged my feelings for Elisa. I turned my head away from my memory of her as soon as I realized what was going on.

She was beautiful you know

Lust? Where have you been?

This is my favorite memory.

Why? Nothing sexual happened. And you didn’t answer my question.

But you had the balls to look her in the eyes and say

The only thing more beautiful than the sunset is it’s reflection in your eyes

Do you realize how far you could’ve got with that line?

I do now, but back then I only wanted to hold her close and know that someone loved me for who I was.

Do you know how far it is getting you right now? Lust said her hand moving slowly toward me.

I slapped it way

GET OUT

But I only want to help. Lust said her bottom lip quivering in a pout

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

I don’t see how this is any different from what you used to do on earth; you rather enjoyed that.

If you don’t leave I will make you

Fine, but I will get what I want eventually.

Lust turned away from me and dissolved into nothingness.

That doesn’t sound good. What if she rapes a pony using my body? Why do I care?

ARRG too many questions!

I moved my memory forward to that night when I finally got my wish and slept with my girlfriend for the first time.

We had just finished a Mortal Kombat mini tournament and she was too tired to go up the stairs to the guest bed so I suggested she just sleep in mine. She turned to me and giggled jumping onto the bed and settling in before me taking the center of the bed for herself. That night was the best sleep of my life.

Why am I doing this to myself? She’s gone. The whole world is gone. Hiding away in good memories isn’t going to bring anything back.

I looked over at Elisa’s sleeping form

She truly was beautiful and I am the reason she died. Pride says I should live more for myself but every time I’ve done that something terrible happens. If I would have chosen death over my second chance I would have been with Elisa in the afterlife by now. That’s where I belong! Not in this pit of lying ponies clinging to their happiness. What do I have to contribute to this world? Nothing!

An idea comes into focus

But I can take myself out of this world! Suicide? No I don’t have the guts for that, unless I can get one of the guards to do it for me. No they wouldn’t disobey orders. The princesses! They would surly kill me if I became a big enough nuisance.

I looked down at my newly formed hands and imagined ripping off a pony’s head with them

Yes, that’s how I will do it! It’s just like suicide by cop!

I wrapped my arms around my dead girlfriend and fell asleep dreaming up a plan for a rampage the likes of which Equestria has never seen.