"Merde."
I slog into my bed room, dragging my hooves, scuffing them on the plush carpet of the stately mansion my employer had built for his wife and youngest foal, to perpetuate the level of decadence they were used to in Manehatten. Ponyville was a quiet and small town by comparison. Not much for a Spy and Bodyguard to do.. Most of the time.
There had been a few instances where In which I had to stand by my charge and protect her, or teleport her to safety via the gift, Mrs. Golden Spoon, bestowed upon me. Mr. and Mrs. Spoon where tough enough to handle themselves. Yes my duty was to protect their interests, but one in particular took prescience over even their own lives, that interest being the life of their daughter, Sylvia Catherine Spoon, or "Silver Spoon" as she has been known since her.. eeugh.. cutcinera.
I glance back at the mark inscribed in my pony form's hide. A golden amber circle with a blue dagger set in the center, cocked sideways with the blade pointed toward my back. "Pfft.. what do zhey see een zhese things?" I mused to my self. I closed the door with a kick of my rear hoof and let out a contented sigh.
In here I could be my handsome self.
In a flash of green flame, the gray coat and brown mane and tail, vanished, leaving only a shiny black exoskeleton and carapace, with light insect like wings protruding through my blue pinstripe jacket. Gone was my straight, coiled unicorns horn and in it's place stood one, smooth out and slightly curved.
"Ah.. much bettere." I sighed with relief. Holding a form, though burned less of my love reserves did take an effort. It's not all magic and illusion. Their are physical aspects to a changeling's morphological capabilities. My energy was low but during our long trip I had fed off Mrs. Golden Spoon several times in her private cabin on the airship.
Still, I was tired as merde ("shit").
I was just glad to be home. Here in the confines of the Spoon Family Estate I could relax and discard my weapons. Not much use for hoof guns, daggers and kunai in a town where the crime rate is so low that the biggest news was some lunatic burglar sneaking into the hospital to steal slippers, or a book.. or whatever.
My days as I said are not without some excitement. The day my Queen's arch rival returned and set Ponyville on it's ear, I was ordered to grab young Silver Spoon and teleport her to a safe location. So I did so. I took the young filly in my foreleg and teleported her to the house of the Zebra Witchdoctor, deep inside the Everfree Forest. I figured "Hide in plain sight" was the best option. Why would the creature cast his eye on an area that was already problematic and full of chaos?
Before that there was the parasprite invasion which I assured where a harmless pestilence until they began eating parts of the mansion, leaving the food untouched. That I was not prepared for. I shot as many as I could but it was no use. I've never needed a Pyro more then that moment, but the fool would probably have burned down the entire estate, maybe even the town.
One shudders to think what goes on in that depraved mind of his. But after our own failed invasion, her majesty couldn't pick and choose her warriors as easily.
Then there was Cerberus and that Giant Space Bear.. thing.. But fortunately neither came near the estate or my young ward.
Recently though I had only a fellow Spy to contend with. A little Colt barely the weight of a feather, just skin and bones. That left me to wonder how he lugged around that camera on his neck, without toppling over face first. I told him in no uncertain terms that if I saw anything printed about myself, my young mistress, or her parents "business" in that school rag of theirs, then something very bad might happen to him.
After that I extended a little professional courtesy and let him flit off on his way. He left the grounds, after leaving a small puddle on our walk way. I took pleasure in the fact that he would not be bothering Ms. Silver or her parents anytime soon.
And that brought to mind, just where my little mistress was tonight. Staying over at that BRAT's house.. How I loathe that little trollop who laughingly prances around like she was my queen. At least I knew Silver was physically safe, though I worried about the influence Diamond Tiara had on...
I shake my head to dispel those thoughts. It's not my problem. Why should I care if Silver's attitude with other foals amounted to merde? I mean she isn't my nymph. Even if right now Diamond was feeding on my young mistress as I would her mother and father?
I may be strait but I will feed on anypony, griffin, Diamond Dog, or whatever, if hungry enough! Mrs. Spoon sometimes goes for long periods of time without her husband, so the three of us have an unspoken agreement that I am allowed to share her bed in his form in which to feed, so long as I do not pass myself off as Platinum "Big Dipper" Spoon, without my mistress knowing before hoof.
Silver Spoon is different. I don't have to pretend around her. She loves me for who I am. Just standing next to her gives me a taste of a love that few of my kind have sampled. She loves me for me and not any construct I create to draw out that love. One day when she is of suitable breeding age, perhaps I shall feast on the love she has had for me since she was but a foal, in the manner in which I feed on her mother.
I sigh with regret. She would never betray the little Piglet she calls her special somepony. More's the pity.
I let the hope of drinking heavily on the elixir of Silver Spoon's love, die where it lies. I want for nothing in the way of love. My mistress and employer take good care of me in that regard, while paying for my fine suits and weapons. I don't even have the holes that most of my kind posses. I have a steady supply of love, that keeps my limbs whole and my reserves full.
I can teleport great distances or remain invisible for an indefinite amount of time, due to the fact that my changeling fire furnace is always stoked with the love my mistress has for her husband.
And on top of it all I have Silver Spoon's love. She has so much to give, but keeps it all bottled up, rationing out to her parents, myself and that little pink monster she calls her fillyfriend, as if it were the last drop of water in the middle of the desert.
What more could a changeling ask for?
I was once the only friend Silver Spoon had, back when she was still just a foal in Manehatten. Pathetic? Possibly. Sylvia (as she was known before she got her mark) was a very isolated foal due to the nature of her father's profession and reputation. Preschool was out of the question and even private schools did not offer the level of protection I could provide. Back then walking out in broad daylight as a changeling brought an effective intimidation factor without alerting the authorities.
Consequently it also drove away parents who might otherwise have let Sylvia play with their foals. But "Big Dipper" insisted his "Little Dipper" be escorted at all times by armed guard, namely moi.
Before she came along, I had nothing but hatred for ponies. Her older sister, Demitasse Spoon, and I, didn't get along. But then again neither did she with her parents. When she got her cuite mark she changed her name to "Octavia Melody" and left home as soon as she was 17 or 18. She's doing well in Canterlot. She was none too pleased when her family moved only an hour's train ride away.
I'd love to see her face if she knew her father had me run a thorough back ground check on that room mate of hers.. Vinyl something or other.
As I loosen my tie I think about how "Little Dipper" made me smile back when I was all she had. It was she that gave me my designation and code name; "Cypher", after watching a violent movie and wanting to curl up with me for the night.
Nymphs in my hive needed lots of love and attention. I figured a little Earth foal needed the same, though for entirely different reasons. Before I became a Spy and assassin I was just another drone, and a drone's duty was to mate with the Queen and provide for our nymphs.
You wouldn't think so but with me around, they had no need to hire a nanny. Using telekinesis to change little Silver's diaper was no terrible inconvenience. And the little pony nymph bonded with me and I with her. I'll admit it was hard for me when she moved to Ponyville and started hanging out with that next door neighbor of hers. But I had to be glad. Just like any nymph, she needed to get out with those of her own age.
As far as I can tell Diamond Tiara has rarely hurt Silver Spoon's feelings. Lucky for Diamond. She has no idea the pony hell I could rain down on her fat little head! I was tempted to do just that when that little merde; Babs Seed Orange, went and betrayed my little mistress and pushed her into the mud. I was severely tempted to call our associates in Manehatten and organize a little beat down for the back stabbing little whelp! But I can't fight all of Ms. Silver's battles for her. Besides they seem to be keeping up a little pen-pal correspondence since.
And suddenly I am reminded of something important.
I sit down at my desk and fold my wings behind me, drawing out a quill and scroll from the top drawer. I have put this off for far too long.
Dearest Queen Chrysalis, Ruler of the Southern Hive, mother and provider to us all.
Forgive me for my regular report has been absent by a week or so at least. Not that there's much to report. Eversince our failed invasion I have been bored out of my exoskeleton. I can't help but think if you had only let me kill Cadence in the first place, we might have been more successful.
Forgive me once more. It seems so little happens in this jerk water town that there's nothing better to do but reflect on the past and I end up restating matters that have long sense lost all merit or relevance.
I make no excuse for my absence other then that my current employers decided to pack up and leave for Prance to handle some family business. Hopefully you can appreciate that being the mother to thousands.
Being back there did have me reflect on the time the Spoon family sent me to train as a Spy. Where I got my charm and endearing accent that makes mares putty in my hooves.
You'll be happy to know our business relationship with The Spoon Family remains a well kept secret from the "Sun Tyrant" and her dogs of war. I have kept a watchful eye on "she who shall not be named". She and her elemental associates have no idea, as far as I can gather, as to where our new hive is, my Queen. But perhaps we should be calling you the Queen of the Northern Hive now.
I have observed very little as to the behavior of ponies as it relates to useful information. Only that their so called "High Society" is not unlike the life of a changeling. They put on masks and act in a manner contradicting to their nature. They smile and wave and then sneer and hiss behind the backs of their peers, and they rut with whoever they like and pretend they are not as animalistic as any other beast of the field. They keep up these pretenses not to gain love as we do, but to gain prestige, wealth and status.
None more so then my little mistress. One of the sweetest most love filled fillies you have ever met, and yet I have witnessed her say the most awful things to her peers and laugh as she tares them down. It's most perplexing as to why. I don't have one of those garish tattoos they call a cutie mark and she never called me a "Blank Flank". As I have reported before I believe hers is a rare delicacy of love. She loves me for who and what I am.
Why she treats her fellow ponies like dirt is baffling. Must be her mob family mentality. Establishing dominance. But then why let the daughter of a local retailer, take the lead? I swear it doesn't matter how long I live among them, I will never understand these horses.
As I said there's not that much to speak of sense the "Gabby Gums" incident that wasn't big enough to fill two whole paragraphs in my last report. My oh so very pressing duties tomorrow include escorting my young mistress to the home of the "Bearer of Kindness" to procure her pet raccoon. Why? because her mother insists that she doesn't want her filly within 500 hooves of the Everfree Forest without an escort. And "Ms. Goody Fourhooves" lives right on the edge. Strange for a Pegasus afraid of her own shadow to live within a Kunai's throw of the most wild and unpredictable area in Equestria.
Once again, forgive me my Queen. I don't mean to bore you with my personal observations, but perhaps if we are not so different there is hope for peace. Or perhaps it is the very things that are similar between us that forever separates us, making open warfare an inevitability.
This choice I leave up to you, oh wise and benevolent one. I continue to hone my skills and await your call to arms. As much as I would hate to bring her peaceful world to an end, I will take solace in the fact that our centuries old contract with the family will guarantee the protection of Silver Spoon, should war be no longer avoidable.
Your faithful servant,
Spy Drone 001,
Formerly of her regal majesty's Army Intelligence,
Code Name: "Cypher".
I sigh thinking about escorting Silver Spoon to Ms. Fluttershy's cottage tomorrow. I then roll up the scroll in my hooves and concentrate. The paper is engulfed in a green flame of changeling fire, transforming it into a white parasrpite with green eyes. I send it flying out the window of my small second story bed room.
I hear a knock at my door and a wry grin cracks across my muzzle, baring my fangs.
Silver Spoon is spending the night at Diamond Tiara's, Mr. Platinum Spoon is back in Manehatten, overseeing some delicate matters of the empire. There is only one pony it could be. "Antrez vous, Madame Spoon."
My door opens, and in steps a tall, graceful, snow white unicorn with a pale pink mane and tail. She is nude, wearing only a lavender eye shadow that matches her eyes. It is the first time I have seen her au naturel since we left Ponyville for Prance. Ponies there tend to dress more heavily. "Good evening Mrs. Golden Spoon. To what do I owe zhe pleasure?" I give her a wry smile, as if I don't know what she needs. I can smell her desire from here.
As she turns to shut the door I can not but refrain from staring at her flank for too long. Her golden spoon cutiemark is uncovered and flanked (no pun intended) by two lavender fleurs-de-lis that when all but the handle is covered by magic for her photo shoots, becomes three fleurs-de-lis.
You'd be surprised how that keeps her from being recognized as the famous supermodel "Fleur Dis Lee".
"Good evening Mr. Cypher." she smiles "I do hope I am not intruding. I.. was feeling rather lonely.. what with Grandmother passing." I can see where tears have stained her pure white cheeks.
"You were very close to Madame Lee, weren't you?" she nods at the recollection of her departed grandmother. "The concept of grandparents is very foreign to my kind." I state matterafactly and levitate a cigarette from my PDA case. "mind?" I asked.
"No not at all.. tis your room, is it not?" one can barely discern her Prench accent and she was born there, where as I only spent a few years in intense training. "Indeed." I levitate the lighter and draw in a breath, sighing out the miasma in my lungs. "It's just that zhe leettle mistress prefers I do not, around her."
She chuckles at that with a hoof respectively to her lips "My little pony is so afraid the smell will get caught in her coat and not get it out." we both have a good laugh at her daughter's expense, and then our eyes meet and we both smile, knowingly. "Just give me a minute to get changed."
"No need." she practically halts me in mid transformation, before I could don the guise of her husband. "Pardon eh moi?" I reply, slightly in shock. "Just this once." she approaches and places her hoof, stroking my cheek "Let me love you for who you are."
I chuckle and snort at that, it puts her off slightly and makes her wrinkle her cute nose "Madame.. vous can not make a pony love somepony eef zheir heart ees not willing to go along. But I appreciate zhe gesture, moi cherrie."
She is not deterred by my revelation. "Not everything has to be about love, you know." she explains with a coy smile and a wry seductive tone as she uses her telekinesis and unties my blue tie.
"Very well, my lady." I reach into the magic pocket inside my suit and draw out my stock 357 Magnum with the pearl handle, holding it up in my hoof. She shivers and licks the length of the steel of the hoof gun. I feel a stirring in my loins. It's not often that a mare is able to seduce me.
I silently place the revolver on the desk top. I then pull out my butterfly knife and flick it out skillfully, causing her once more to quake with desire. I know she likes dangerous stallions. Makes me wonder why she went for that pompous Canterlot clown, Fancy Pants, in those few short months she had a falling out with her husband.
The knife goes on the desk. The inside pocket of my suit is a bottomless pit, tailored by a local mare with a true talent for the art of weaving magic into thread. Over the course of several minutes I draw out one weapon after another, getting an excited shiver and moan from her. Every knife and gun is a new element of the foreplay for her. It's no wonder she married a gangster.
The pile of weapons grows on the desk top, all the while she is licking her lips, her arousal becoming almost palatable. She is right. Love has nothing to do with this. I draw out slowly, the "Eternal Reward" the blade of cold unforgiving steel shines in her lavender eyes and I could of swore she just climaxed. But I'm not done yet.
"Ooooh" she moans as I bring out the big Poneco Arms "Ambassador" 50 Action Express, she shudders hard and her legs get week as I hold it for a moment and place it, with great care, on top of the pile.
I reach out with my magic and roll up the left sleeve of the jacket on my fore legs, revealing the "Sharp Dresser" and detaching the blade from the cuff, dropping it onto the pile of knives, kunai, revolvers and ammunition.
"That it?" she smiles coyly.
I hold up my left hoof as if to say "one moment" before using that hoof to role up my right sleeve, revealing a small "Enforcer" snub nosed 357 Magnum revolver, strapped to a holster on my right foreleg. I drew it out and she grabbed it from me in her expert telekinesis.
"It's like disarming Germaneigh!"
She said with a dangerous glint in her eye as I chuckled nervously. It takes a strong mare to frighten and excite me. I even jumped slightly when I heard the gun go off, effectively shooting out the one lamp I had burning.
There was a flash of white hot light, some sparks and the smell of ozone as the room went dark. I could still make out her wicked smirk in the fading pink light of her own horn. She tossed the small hoof gun, still bathed in the aura of her magic and then tackled me like a wild beast out of Tartarus!
I had teased the lioness through the cage bars and now that she was loose, was going to tear me to shreds!
Ah mon amour.
