Sneakthief

by Cesar

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Lyra, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure, Discord, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2230

Offending the God of Chaos is a bad idea, no matter what universe you're from

When Connor, a teenage thief on the streets of New York, discovers an ancient and mysterious mirror in a back alley, he is plunged into a bizzare and, in all honesty, unwanted world of dragons, mythical beasts, and talking ponies. Now, Connor has to deal with a shadowy organization known as "The Grandchildren", his own habitual kleptomania, and the threat of imprisonment on the Moon, all while he seeks out the mysterious "Trickster", the only being who can possibly get him back to Earth.

Not your average Human-in-Equestria story..

Published 2012-07-13 19:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-13 19:44:02 UTC

Chapter 1: Mirror Mirror

Sneakthief

Chapter 1

Mirror Mirror

Connor ran down the moonlit streets of Manhattan as fast as he possibly could. Behind him, three police officers shouted things like “Halt!” and “Stop right there!” Naturally, he ignored them and sped up his run. He would be faster without his backpack, he knew, but if he could escape them its contents would be more than worth his trouble.

He rounded a corner and saw the perfect opportunity: a small shadowy alleyway blocked by a gate. He sped up, took a flying leap, and cleared the gate. He took cover behind some garbage bags as the police officers rounded the corner and kept running down the street. He waited until the sound of the police was long gone, then crept out of his hiding place and looked around.

The alley was almost empty, with a few trash bags lining the sides of buildings that obviously wanted nothing to do with the place. There was an industrial light bulb fixed above one of the rusty, rarely-used doors. A rain barrel by a drain spout. Not much to see here. Connor was about to turn around and leave the alley when he noticed something glinting in the corner of his eye.

In one of the darker corners of the alley, a tiny sliver of mirror shone in the moonlight. Connor snuck over to it, careful not to make any noise that would alert someone in one of the adjacent buildings. He pulled it out into the light and gasped. The tiny fragment of mirror that had caught his eye had been a small part of a huge, wall-sized mirror ornately framed in... could it be? Yes, this thing was framed with silver and ivory, not to mention priceless-looking pearls of various shapes and sizes! Along the top ran an inscription in a language Connor didn’t understand, so he ignored it.

Connor thought of the contents of his backpack. The iPods inside were nothing compared to this beauty! If he could get this mirror to the Fence, he’d be rich beyond his wildest dreams! Of course, he’d have to deliver it piece by piece. Maybe one pearl at a time, or a little bit of silver here or there. Couldn’t have his buyer getting greedy.

He stared at the mirror for a minute, his reflection illuminated in the light of the full moon. Nothing about it really stood out. All it showed him was a skinny teenager in a basic gray hoodie with green eyes and long messy brown hair. If anyone were looking for him in a crowd, all they’d see was another teenage punk, nobody important or unique.

Just the way he liked it.

Suddenly there was a noise from the other side of the alley. Startled, Connor ducked behind the mirror. A raspy laugh seemed to come from the darkness by the walls.

“Come on out, boy. I’m not going to harm you.” Connor tiled the mirror slightly so that the moonlight illuminated the shadows. There, about ten feet from where he had been standing, was an old, decrepit beggar. Connor relaxed and stood up. Even if this guy wanted to hurt Connor, he doubted he could so much as walk straight, let alone take a swing at him.

“What do you want, old-timer?” Connor asked, “This ain’t your mirror, is it? Cuz if it is i’m totally stealing it.”

The old man laughed again. “Good of you to be honest, boy, but that’s not mine. That’s my Grandfather’s,” he stopped laughing and looked Connor dead in the eyes. “And I’m warning you, boy. Grandfather is not someone you want to mess with.”

Connor managed to get out a small, shaky laugh. This old man was really starting to creep him out. “I ain’t scared of your gramps. All I know, he’s rottin in some cemetery somewhere and you’re just tryin to spook me out of takin this mirror.”

“Oh, I can assure you, boy, Grandfather is very much alive and well, if somewhat incarcerated. Your actions have served him well, but you made one mistake, and for that mistake you shall pay dearly.”

“Oh yeah? And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means...” the old man grinned “to look at your hand.” Connor had been resting his left hand on the mirror, but when he looked over...

“What the hell is this!” Connor cried out in alarm. Where his hand had been, his fingers had fused together and formed a... was that what he thought it was? How had he not noticed it earlier? Then he saw the rest of his arm. Slowly but surely, his hoodie was fusing to his arm, replacing it instead with short gray hair. Connor tried to pull away from the mirror, but his hand- whatever it was now- was stuck. No, it was worse than stuck, it was sinking into the mirror!

“What the hell is going on here!”

“What is going on here, boy, is that you have offended Grandfather with your greedy thoughts. Now, normally he encourages that sort of thinking, but when an item is clearly labeled His,” the old man pointed at the inscription along the mirror, “He takes it personally.”

“What the hell, man!”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it if I were you. By the looks of it, he’s taking it easy on you. Last petty thief that came by here got turned into a lizard. You, you look like you’re going to meet one of my Cousins.”

“Who?”

“Oh, nobody you’d know, boy. Or you might- I have heard rumors that one of the Grandchildren has been leaking some secrets to the Mundanes. Not that they think it more than a trivial bit of fiction, mind you. No, you just sit back and enjoy the trip. I’m told by those who come here that it is quite... exhilarating.” The mirror started to pull Connor in even faster. Connor screamed.

“WHO ARE YOU???”

“Me?” the old man grinned, stood up, and shuffled over to Connor until they were face to face, Connor staring into his red-gold eyes. “My name is Arik Narfison. And you just offended the God of Chaos.”

With that, the mirror pulled Connor in completely, leaving no trace that he had ever existed in this world at all.

***

Pinkie Pie was in the middle of eating a batch of cupcakes when her Pinkie Sense hit her. It started as a tiny tingling of heat in her hooves, as if she were holding them over a candle. Then it morphed into a shock of electricity that shot up her legs, through her spine, and out her tongue, making the cupcakes taste metallic. Her mane sprung up even higher than usual, but instead of its usual cotton-candy styling it turned spiky. She leaped out of her seat and ran to the nearest door handle. A small arc of static electricity zapped from her mane and struck the door so violently it sent the door flying open and crashing into the adjacent wall.

“Pinkie Pie! What have we told you about slamming doors in this house? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, please try to be quiet during the twins’ nap time.” said Mrs. Cake as she poked her head out from the upstairs hall.

“Sorry Mrs. Cake! Won’t happen again! I think!” Pinkie called as quietly as she could, which wasn’t very quiet. The Cake twins started crying upstairs again. “You want me to take care of them, Mrs. Cake?”

“No thank you, Pinkie! I don’t want to have to clean up another pile of flour.” Mrs. Cake sighed, heading toward the twins’ room. Pinkie decided it might be a good time to not be in Sugarcube Corner and trotted outside.

That had been one heck of a doozie! Did it mean that the Cake twins were going to wake up from their nap? No, if it did it would’ve happened before. Was something bad going to happen to Ponyville? She looked around the town square. The sun was shining, ponies were happily going about their business, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were running around causing chaos in the market. No sign of danger anywhere.

Suddenly her front-right hoof started to feel tingly, like it was being held over a candle. She turned that way and her front-left hoof got the same feeling. She looked up and was saw that she was facing the Ponyville Train Station.

“Okay, if you want me to go that way, I’ll go that way!” she smiled. She trotted over to the ticket window. “One ticket to Canterlot!” the tingly sensation left. “No! Phillydelphia! No! Trottingham! No, Manehattan!” When she said the last one, the tingly feeling came back. “Yes, one ticket to Manehattan, please!”

“Are you sure?” asked the exasperated pony behind the window.

“Yep yep yep! I’m going to Manehattan!”

“That’ll be ten bits. Have a nice trip,” the ticket pony said as she paid.

“You too!” Pinkie smiled and trotted off towards the train with it’s cars shaped like cupcakes. She was still happy that Mayor Mare had decided to go ahead with the changes she had recommended. After all, wood and iron cars were just BOOOR-ING!

“Hey Pinkie!” called Rainbow Dash from a nearby cloud. “Where’re you going?”

“Oh, hey Dashie! I’m going to Manehattan! Wanna come?” Rainbow gawked.

“Manehattan? Are you kidding? Why are you going to Manehattan?”

“Well, I was in Sugarcube Corner, eating cupcakes, when-”

“Okay, okay!” Rainbow Dash cut her off, “Just bring me a souvenir or a pizza or something. I’ll see you when you get back”

“Okie Dokie Loki Dashie!” Pinkie said as she hopped on the train. “See you in a few days!”

A few minutes later, the train pulled out of the station, leaving Rainbow Dash sitting on a cloud shaking he head.

“Pinkie Pie, you are so random.”

***

Connor was lying on cool stone. That was a good sign. It meant he had somehow made it back to his safe house and crashed on the cement floor. Or he had been found by police with a backpack full of stolen iPods and was lying in a prison cell. But no ancient mirrors. No old men with gold eyes. No gods of chaos or whatever that old man had been talking about.

All a dream.

Or was it? Connor slowly opened his eyes. Ok. He definately wasn’t in a jail cell- the colors were too bright for that, which also meant that he wasn’t in his safe house either. There was also the noise of the city, so he was probably still somewhere in New York. Had he passed out on the sidewalk again? That’d be embarrassing. Well, best get up and find out where he was.

He pulled himself to his feet and looked around. Maybe it wasn’t New York after all. He’d walked all over that city and had never once seen an alley this clean. The buildings looked off, too. He looked up as high as he could and didn’t see any skyscrapers. Have I been kidnapped or something? he thought as he looked around the alley he had slept in.

He was startled when he realized that this alley was practically identical to the one he had found the mirror and old man in. There was the gate, the garbage bags, the rainbarrel, even a somewhat rusty door where the old man had been, but there was no mirror and no old man. Where had they gone? That mirror had looked incredibly heavy- even Connor would’ve had trouble moving it. There was no way that old man could drag it away without at least leaving some deep scratches on the pavement, but there was no sign that it had even been there at all.

Wait. If the alley was the same, and he was certain that all of that hadn’t been a dream... Connor looked down at his arms.

They were just... gone! He didn’t have arms!

Connor started to panic. Where were his arms? All he saw were some legs, and they weren’t even his! They were covered in short gray hair, like a coat of fur, and instead of feet, they ended in hooves like a donkey or goat or something!

“What... the... hell” his voice was quiet but shaky. He ran over to the rain barrel and tried to make out his reflection in the rippling water.

“What. The. HELL!” His face had completely transformed too! His noes was very long, and his mouth was a lot further away from his eyes than it was supposed to be. In fact, his eyes looked enormous! And... was that a horn sticking out of his forehead?

He plunged his head into the freezing cold water. Surely, this had to be a dream. A terrible, horrifying, nightmare of a dream.

It was no use. He dunked his head in several times, but his reflection stayed the same. He wasn’t waking up from this nightmare anytime soon. He tried to turn around to get a look at what happened to his legs.

The world turned pink.

“HI THERE!” the wall of pink squealed. It was too much. The pink started to fade to black, and Connor decided that black was better.

He passed out.