Fritter Jacked

by generalsnaz

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Romance, Comedy, Sex, Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2454

Apple Fritter tries to confess her over the top (and sometimes creepy) romantic feelings to her cousin Applejack, but the work obsessed farm pony doesn't seem to notice (take the hint, AJ) in this silly tale of nonromance between these two ponies.

Apple Fritter comes to Sweet Apple Acres to once and for all convince her cousin Applejack that they are meant to be together. Applejack, however constantly misinterprets these confessions, leaving Fritter at a loss. Determined to make her obsessive fantasies a reality, Apple Fritter goes on the offensive. Will she succeed in capturing the loveable farm pony's heart?

Be warned. It's wacky.

----------

Has the FritterJack couple been done before?

Is it even a thing?

...well it is now! BAM!

Published 2013-12-11 02:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-11 02:50:03 UTC

Fritter Jacked

Fritter Jacked

The epic conclusion

...

and the beginning, also.

Applejack was Apple Fritter's favorite cousin, and the energetic young Apple Fritter thought about her cousin often. Regularly. All the time. Every second. She thought about her at the market. At dinner. At night. While she worked. On the toilet. At funerals. During baths. At night some more. In fact she was thinking about her right then, as she trotted down the road to Sweet Apple Acres.

"Hee, hee, hee..." Apple Fritter giggled to herself, drooling slightly. (She was actually drooling a lot. But nopony could blame her; that fantasy she was having was quite involved.)

"Well, hey there Apple Fritter!" an adorable voice beside her interrupted her daydream (so very rudely). Fritter quickly wiped up her copious saliva.

"H-howdy, Applebloom!" Apple Fritter replied to the cute pony.

"It sure has been a while! What's the occasion? Business, or pleasure?" Applebloom asked, skipping along beside her cousin.

"Oh, pleasure. I'm hoping," Fritter responded, hobbling on three hooves, trying to shake the drool off of the fourth.

"Well, that's nice! We'll have to catch up later, I got a Crusader's meetin' to get to!" Applebloom began to bounce away, before her cousin stopped her.

"Wait! Y'all trying to get yer Cutie Marks, right? You and your little filly friends?"

"Sure are! Today we're gonna jump on pogo sticks, on a trampoline, while sucking on golf balls and saying tongue twisters in French! One of them's bound to be my special talent!" Applebloom beamed. (Poor misguided Applebloom.)

"Well, have ya'll..." Apple Fritter began as she started to salivate again, "tried making a clop film? Y'all could, ya know, run the camera and the hold the lights and such. I could convince Applejack to do it with me! I mean, do it with you! I mean, help ya'll out! Me and yer sister could help y'all out." (...Poor misguided Apple Fritter.)

"...Uh... I don't know what the hay yer goin' on about, cuz," Applebloom said, (thankfully confused.) "I gotta get on that trampoline! Bye!" She galloped off before Apple Fritter could stop her with her one drool covered hoof.

'Shoot!' she thought frustrated. 'I was this close to gettin' the whole thing on film.' (She was no where near that close.)

A few fantasies later, Apple Fritter arrived at Sweet Apple Acres and knocked on the front door. Granny Smith appeared moments later.

"Wassat? Who deah? Oh, is that Apple Fritter? How nice of yeh to visit!" Granny Smith gave her a warm, but saggy hug.

"Good to see ya, Granny Smith," Apple Fritter grimaced and returned the hug awkwardly. It's not that she minded Granny Smith, she was a sweet old pony and Fritter loved her dearly. It's just she didn't want to be touching her when her mind was on certain things. "Is Applejack 'round?" Fritter asked hopefully.

"No, I don't think so... Big Macintosh? You seen yer sister 'round?" Granny Smith called to the big red pony somewhere in the house.

"Eeyup," he answered. (As expected.)

"Well where is she?" Granny called back.

"...Eeyup?"

"Daggum it, child! Use that brain of yours to come up with some new words! Is yer sister in the house?"

"Nope!"

"Oh, fer cryin' out-!!" Granny Smith headed into the house to confront her grandson, mumbling as she went, "...whippersnapper... ....gonna slap some sense into that boy..."

Apple Fritter was dejected that her cousin was not there. However, she perked up after she realizing the opportunity at hand.

'I could go into her room and smell her pillow... her sheets... her hats!' she thought. The perverted idea sent shivers down her spine. And that's what she decided to do. She came inside and started to creep up the stairs when Granny Smith called from another room (after a few smacking sounds.)

"Oh, Apple Fritter, sweetie! Big Macintosh says yer cousin's in the south field working on that raggedy old fence."

Apple Fritter found herself at a standstill.

'Private sniffing party, or alone with Applejack in a field...'

She chose the latter.

After a few minutes of the former.

Apple Fritter headed to the southern fields, following the fence line until she finally found her cousin. There she was, in all her stunning apple bucking glory. The sun silhouetted her as she tossed aside her one piece of clothing, laid on the grass, and gave Apple Fritter the sexiest "come hither" pose she could ever imagine. (Wait, that's not right.)

Apple Fritter shook the fantasy away, and approached the real Applejack, who was just hammering away at a fence.

"Need help, cuz?" she asked, jumping on her cousin's back to give her a quick surprise hug from behind.

"What in tarnation!? Apple Fritter? Heh heh! When did you get here?" The two repositioned to give each other proper hugs. Fritter squeezed a bit tighter though.

A moment passed. Then another. Then several more.

"Uh, you can let go now, Fritter," Applejack said, stuck in a hugging position. Apple Fritter inhaled as much as she possibly could from AJ's mane.

'She smells like apples...' (Of course.) 'Oh, Celestia... it's giving me an applegasm!'

Apple Fritter finally released the uncomfortable Applejack, "Sorry! Just missed ya a lot. We didn't get ta talk much at the last reunion."

AJ took her hat off in awkward apology, "Right... sorry 'bout that... Didn't mean for it to get so outta hoof." Apple Fritter had been assigned by Applejack to be part of the apple fritter assembly line at the disastrous reunion. For 6 hours. With no breaks. Or drinks. Of course, Apple Fritter didn't mind being submissive to Applejack's torture, but she would have preferred that AJ had worn leather and used a whip: Just like one of her more recent fantasies.

"Oh, don't worry 'bout that none! But listen, Applejack. There's sumthin' important I need ta say." Apple Fritter took a deep breath. It was confession time! ("You can do it!" ~Rob S.) "I really, really like you!" she announced proudly.

Applejack just pouted her bottom lip out. "Well shucks, sugarcube! I like you too! Heck, there ain't nopony from the Apple family I don't like!"

"No, Applejack, I meant... my feelin's are a bit different than that. I love you," Fritter confessed hoping this would clear it up.

"Aw, Fritter. No need to get all sentimental on me! That's what family does: we all love each other. Ain't nuthin' to be a ashamed of, neither," preached Applejack. She wasn't getting it.

"No! Listen, Applejack," Apple Fritter cried, thoroughly frustrated. "I want to sleep with you in my bed!"

'Surely that'll do it!'

Applejack just paused, and pondered for a moment. "Well, shoot. 'Suppose I could come visit you in Appleoosa, but Zap Apple season's just 'round the corner... Granny's gonna need me here."

"What!? No!" Apple Fritter had had it. "Listen! I love you! I'm gonna kiss you, and yer gonna kiss me back! Understand!?" She started to move in, lips ready.

Applejack just laughed, "Whoa there, Nelly! We're a little old for those kinda pretend games, don'tcha think, Fritter?"

...

(Take the hint, AJ.)

Apple Fritter just fell flat on her face.

"Uh... you alright, cuz? Yer actin' kinda... strange," Applejack asked, concerned.

"I'm jus' fine," Apple Fritter mumbled with her face in the dirt.

"Well, good! I'm about done here, but I got a lotta apple bucking to do. Mind lending me a hoof?"

"...Sure..."

Things hadn't gone according to plan, so Apple Fritter reviewed her carefully thought out strategy.

'Step one: confess feelings. Step two: make out a lot. Step three: roll in the hay a lot. Step four: have plenty of children... somehow. Step five: live happily together til we die.'

But something had gone terribly wrong, and her plan feel apart.

'She doesn't see me as a possible lover,' Apple Fritter thought while she helped nail the last parts of the fence. 'I'll just have to show her my appeal! Then she'll fall for me, instead!' Apple Fritter giggled lustfully at the thought of Applejack confessing to her.

She decided on a plan!

"Oh, no!" Apple Fritter cried, making sure AJ heard her. "I have dropped my nails!" She knocked over the small box of nails from their perch on the fence, scattering them in the grass. "I had better pick them up!" She then leaned over and stuck her flank up at Applejack, proceeding to shake it seductively as she pretended to search for nails. (Acting must run in the family.)

"Shoot! Need any help, sugarcube?" Applejack asked, not particularly noticing the show in front of her.

"NO! No, just uh. You can help me... by lookin' fer 'em from back there!" Fritter then flicked her tail up so it hung forward over her back, making sure everything in the rear was in plain sight. She shook some more.

"Well I... can't really see 'em from over here," Applejack bypassed the pleasant view and bent down to help pick up the nails.

"Ugh!" Apple Fritter collapsed with a disappointed groan. (Hey, I'm pretty disappointed too.)

The two finished the fence without any other trouble and headed off to buck some apples. Fritter quickly decided on her next move.

"I sure am hungry," she proclaimed. Knowing full well AJ was okay with it, she picked up the biggest apple she had bucked and stuck her tongue out. She set the apple on her tongue and began a complicated combination of sucking and licking the apple, making plentiful slurping noises. (Gross.) When she saw Applejack watch her, she raised her eyebrows erotically.

"Heh heh! You know you can just bite it like a normal pony, don'tcha?" Applejack just shook her head and walked off, laughing to herself.

Apple Fritter dropped the saliva covered apple back in the bucket and sighed. (GROSS.)

'If seduction isn't gonna work, maybe I can get her in the mood if we're touching. If I can arouse her, she might take it from there!' Apple Fritter thought hopefully.

Her next plan was going to hurt. She patiently bucked apples with Applejack until they arrived at the top of one of the rolling hills covering Sweet Apple Acres. After finishing the trees, Applejack started to head down the hill.

'Now!'

Apple Fritter tripped over some air and crashed into AJ. Down they tumbled together, until they collided with a tree at the bottom. The two separated on impact and though she was sorely hurting, Fritter steadied herself as quickly as she could. After sighting where Applejack had landed, she jumped on her.

Applejack let out an "Oof!" as Fritter landed on her belly. The two ponies now laid chest to chest at the bottom of the hill, covered in scratches and scrapes.

"Sugar, you okay?" Applejack asked, trying to get up.

"Ow! Oh, ow!" Apple Fritter pretended to be in an incredible amount pain. (Acting skills still intact.) "My back, I think I broke my back!"

"What!?" AJ exclaimed.

"I heard you shouldn't move someone who's broken their back. You might make it worse!" Apple Fritter said with faux concern.

"Really?" Applejack asked.

"Eeyup! We shouldn't move til someone finds us," Apple Fritter grinned.

"O-okay, if you say so."

'Nailed it!'

The two ponies laid there for a while, but they weren't face to face. Apple Fritter elected to rest her head by AJ's to make it more realistic. She didn't say anything but Applejack occasionally called for help.

"Granny! ...Big Mac! ...Applebloom! ...Anypony!"

Getting frustrated with her cousin who didn't seem to want to even be in this position, Fritter took the initiative. She slowly started stroking Applejack's sides. The stubborn farm pony didn't seem to notice, however. Fritter decided to moan a little, hoping to get Applejack aroused.

"It'll be okay, sugarcube!" AJ comforted her, "Somepony will find us!"

Unsuccessful, Apple Fritter decided to take it a step further. She began to perform mild pelvic thrusts in hopes the friction would spark some eroticism in her cousin. She complimented the movements with further moaning.

"You shouldn't be moving if yer in pain, Apple Fritter! Just stay put!" Applejack protested in concern.

"Ugh." Fritter planted her face in the dirt again.

'That's it. I'm going for it.'

With all hope lost, Apple Fritter decided to head straight for the gold, the special space between Applejack's cutie marks. ("You can do it!") Before her hoof could get there however...

"...Applebloom! ...Rainbow Dash! I know yer nappin' here somewhere!"

Apple Fritter bolted up to her hooves.

"Who in tarnation is Rainbow Dash!?" she exclaimed, not realizing her mistake.

"Apple Fritter! Yer back! It's okay!" Applejack got up and hugged her cousin. "I was plum worried!"

Apple Fritter gave herself a facehoof and gave it one last desperate shot.

"Applejack, can you just kiss me please?" Apple Fritter asked.

"Kissing those scratches ain't gonna make 'em go away, we'd better get on home so Granny can disinfect 'em!"

'She's just too dense. I give up.'

Applejack and Apple Fritter finished the chores, but Apple Fritter didn't care.

The Apple family chatted happily over dinner, but Apple Fritter didn't care.

Applebloom asked Granny Smith what a clop film was at the table, but Apple Fritter didn't care.

The family played charades, but Apple Fritter didn't care.

Winona dragged in a half-dead Cockatrice, but Apple Fritter didn't care.

The three girls all took a bath together, but Apple Fritter didn't care. (Oh come on!)

Apple Fritter had given up. Her love was over, Applejack was simply too oblivious to her feelings. There was nothing she could do. She didn't even plan on making a move on her when they shared a bed that evening.

"Ready to hit the hay, Fritter?" Applejack beamed at her cousin.

"Sure. I just gotta... use the bathroom right quick," she replied. She didn't actually have to go, she just smacked her face against the mirror a couple times and flushed the commode.

Applejack wasn't in the bedroom so Apple Fritter just crawled into the bed and sighed.

Just as she was about to close her eyes, Applejack jumped on the bed with a "Yee-haw!" and pinned her down. Before she could respond, Applejack bent down and gave her cousin an intense succulent kiss.

"I'm not quite as dense as you might be thinkin'," Applejack said when she finished. "I just like pickin' at'cha," she said with a wink.

And she descended for another kiss.

Author's Note

Uh-oh!

Who saw that ending coming? Who did? Raise your hands. Oh, you did? GET OUTTA MY CLASSROOM, FOOL!

Anyone not familiar with southern colloquials? "Pickin' at'cha" is just saying "picking on you" or "teasing." Hope that clears it up for you!