The Englishman in Equestria
I awoke in a daze, unsure of what had befallen me; I recalled walking home, and discovering a most peculiar sight, a strange rippling in the air before me. I was wary of this, as such things were often claimed to be delusions of malady, or acts of divine forces; but still yet I was curious, and as so reached out, my hand doth brushing this strange hallucination. As such, it befuddles me to have awoken in a forest, and not one that seemed too familiar to mine eyes, puzzling though, as I knew every forest within miles of town. I searched a bit further, and came upon the darndest thing, a crop of strange blue flowers. However, I was not a foolish man, I gave the fascinating flora a wide berth, as I didn't know what they might do if I were so much as to brush them, much as my father taught me as a lad. I saw something that gave me a cause for much relief however: Light! I stumbled over a few roots from these devilish trees as I trotted towards the light, hoping this place had an edge nearby. Ah! Excellent, that's a meadow I spy yonder, not far beyond reach. Bursting forth from the forest I breathed in deeply, relishing in the scent of the multitude of flowers, both familiar species and not. After a brief respite among the delightful sights of the meadow I headed toward the other side, hoping for a glimpse of a traveler who might lend me a guiding word and set me on my way home.
Not long had passed before I encountered a familiar sight, smoke billowing from a chimney in the distance. I eagerly headed forward, but slowed slightly upon noticing a strange detail; the house attached to the chimney was one of many, all brightly colored. My brow furrowed in thought as I pondered who would live in such ostentatious hovels, approaching them all the while. I walked further into the town, finding no one to greet me. I pondered such a strange occurrence for but a moment however, as the thought was replaced by immense wonder at what I discovered upon walking in to what seemed to be town square. The street was filled with miniature equines, all colored similar to the bright hues displaced by the houses. I stood for a moment, entranced by the strange sight before spotting something equally astonishing, some had wings, and others horns! As I watched in a silent stupor, one walked into view, lavender in hue, and with a purple and green reptile on its back of all things! I quickly took notice of the reptile when its maw burst into green flames and a roll of parchment was expunged from the fire. My eyes grew wide as I realized that this must be a dragon, a monster heard of only in maid's tales, yet 'twas right before me, as if torn from the lore itself, to strike fear into my heart. I backed away quickly but was halted by a bright pink member of the congregation popping out of the bushes nearby and bouncing before me, as if on carriage-springs. I heard it forming some sort of speech, but the meaning was lost to me, and the matter was quickly forgotten as the pink one's speech drew the attention of all the others nearby to the two of us. I swiftly backed away further, only to have my back strike a wall, and find myself surrounded by these strange equines. The lavender one came forward, the dragon still seated on its back and attempted to communicate with me, its words seemed to be close to a familiar manner of speech, but it still evaded my understanding. However, the dragon began rustling in the bags slung from the lavender one's flank, and quickly produced a quill, ink, and some parchment. With what I could only presume was a smile the lavender one took them from the dragon in a fuchsia aura, which seemed to be emitted from the horn adorning its head, and held the items in my direction. I hesitantly took them and wrote a small message, simple and to the point-'Can you read this?' I offered the items to the lavender one gently, which were accepted by the aura once more. Upon reading the question, it broke into what must have been a beaming smile, and quickly wrote back a message, which after a minute I realized to be an affirmation, although not quite the same, the runes it used bore a remarkable semblance to those of my people, I smiled at this and noticing that it was growing rather dim, wrote back that I intended no one any harm, and that I simply wished for a meal, lodgings for the night, and for directions in the morning.