Night of the Living Liver-Eaters
By Senial Hobo
Somewhere in the Everfree forest…
“RUN!” Dr. Whooves yelled into the hut, sending a zebra running out.
“What is the rush, on this night so hushed?” Zecora asked, running out into the chilly air.
“Hushed? The forest is on fire, and a hydra is hunting me down, and you call it hushed?!?!” Dr. Whooves blurted in annoyance. “Now then, what’s the fastest way out of this forest?”
“Quickly now, follow me, there is little time to flee!”
“Pfft, you’re telling ME!” Dr. Whooves exclaimed, but he quickly shut up as he was shot a glare.
“Don’t make me come up with another rhyme! If I must, I shall break your spine! Just kidding dude, but seriously these rhymes are really annoying. Wait what do you mean we’re still rolling? Turn off the camera you idiot! Oh well we can get it out in editing.”
Meanwhile, coincidentally at the same time, yet having almost nothing to do with each other, 6 ponies were arriving in a foreign land…
“Come on girls! We’re almost there!” Twilight said, hoping it was true.
“Twilight, dear, I still don’t see why we couldn’t go somewhere the train connects to. And all this sand is simply RUINING my mane!” Rarity complained (complained, much different from whining).
“Well it IS a desert! I don’t see why I can’t fly around, you slowpokes… my feet are starting to hurt!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Now Rainbow Dash, you know that if you fly you’ll bury us in sand!”Twilight reasoned.
“Ah reckon we should there by now. I think we’ve gone and gotten ourselves lost. Twilight, gimme da map!” AppleJack demanded.
“I know just well where I’m going, thank you very much!” Twilight said.
“Oh yeah? I know we just passed that sand dune an hour ago! We’re going in circles!” Rainbow Dash said.
At this point the 5 ponies started to argue all at once (though she had nothing to argue about, Pinkie Pie jumped in saying, “OHHHH! Argument! Argue argue argue argue argue argue argue!”)
“Uh… hey, everypony… uh… oh my… oh dear… Please, calm down… the town… I can see it…” Fluttershy tried to cut in, rather unsuccessfully.
“Look guys! The town!” Rainbow Dash said, taking off.
“That’s what I was trying to-” FlutterShy tried to talk, but was cut off.
“RAINBOW DASH WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT FLYING IN THE DESERT???” one of the four slightly pony-shaped piles of sand screamed. Twilight quickly shook herself off, and ran after Rainbow Dash.
“MY MANE!” Rarity lamented (again, lamented, not whined).
All FlutterShy could do was face-hoof.
Meanwhile, in Ponyville…
“Hydra attack!” a random pony screamed.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac said.
And now back to your regularly scheduled foreign land.
“Where is everypony – uh, I mean, zebra? Twi, which is it?” AppleJack asked.
“Darn it! I knew I was forgetting to bring a book. And on the place we were going to too!” Twilight said.
“This is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! And I don’t even have my couch!” Rarity complained whinily.
“Oh, stop whining Rarity, we can only carry so much of your luggage.” AppleJack pointed out.
“I am not whining, I am complaining whinily. This is whining!” Rarity whined.
“Make it stop MAKE IT STOP!” Rainbow dash said, covering her ears.
“GIRLS!!!!” Twilight shouted, rather exasperated. “Let’s just focus on the situation at hand, okay?”
They all looked around. The sun was setting, giving everything an eerie glow. All the buildings were rather rustic, and to Twilight it seemed kind of like Apploosa. Suddenly, an eerie figure appeared, looking rather disheveled. It had stripes.
“Um, excuse me, can you tell me where everyone is?” Twilight asked.
“Liver…..” the disheveled beast groaned, shambling towards them.
“Hey Mr.! Don’t give us your backtalk! Just tell us where everyone is!” Rainbow demanded.
“Liver… GIVE ME YOUR LIVERS!”
“Um, guys, I don’t think he’s really interested in telling us anything right now…” FlutterShy tried to reason.
“Now ya look here!” AppleJack said, walking up to him. “Ah didn’t walk through some giant desert just tah get your backtalk! I came fer a vacation, and ah’m gonna get it! So where’s the hotel?”
Instead of replying, he made a lunge at her, trying to bite her. “LIVERSSSSS!”
“I don’t think he wants to party.” Pinkie Pie observed as a piece of flesh fell off of the zebra.
“Quick girls! There’s more of them coming! We’ve got to get off the streets!” Twilight pointed out. And, indeed, there definitely were more. In fact, they were quickly being surrounded! They all quickly ran inside of the nearest building, a two-story house. When all of them were inside, Twilight quickly shut the door.
“What were those things?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Everyone stared at Twilight.
“…what?”
“Well you’re the know-it-all! Shouldn’t you know?” Rainbow Dash said.
“Um… uh… I don’t know! I’m just trying to figure out if it’s everypony or every-zebra!” Twilight exclaimed.
“So we’re holed up… with cannibalistic zebras outside… and you’re worried about WHAT TO CALL THEM?!?” Rainbow Dash shouted, exasperated.
“Well there’s no need to be rude…” Twilight dragged off.
“If I can butt in fer just a sec, ah don’t think they’re cannibals. Ah reckon they’re zombies.” AppleJack pointed out.
“Oh please. There’s no such things as zombies! You’ve been reading Spike’s books again haven’t you?” Twilight asked.
“Twilight, ah’m serious! Look out there! They ain’t exactly lookin’ too good. I even saw a piece of flesh fall off one just now!” AppleJack exclaimed.
Twilight looked. “Woah… maybe they really are zombies. Quick, girls, we need to get a plan together.”
Meanwhile in the Ponyville library…
“Finally, peace and quiet. I can finally read my zombie books!” Spike exclaimed to himself, lying down on the bed. “Hmm… it’d be cool to live in a zombie apocalypse… I could burn them all with my fire breath! I hope I don’t die because of zombies…”
A giant hydra foot crushed the entire library, and everything (and everyone) in it.
Fascinatingly, the hydra wouldn’t have gone on a rampage if it weren’t for the zebra zombies.
What a shame. Oh well.
