The Reason He Doesn't Write Clop-Fics

by CheesewedgeFTW

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Comedy, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2054

A innocent brony tries, for the very first time, to write a clop-fic. What he may not realize, however, is there are those who would not be too happy with the results.

An innocent brony decides, for the first time, to write a clop-fic. What he may not realize is that his story will garner the attention of a certain group of ladies who aren't too happy with the idea of that. Will he survive...?
...
...Probably not.

Rated Teen for Suggestive Themes and Slight Language.

Published 2014-02-07 04:20:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-07 04:20:11 UTC

The Reason He Doesn't Write Clop-Fics

“Why hello there Fluttershy,” said Twilight Sparkle as she opened the front door to her library, “What brings you here today?”

“W-well, I just wanted to check out a book or two,” stammered Fluttershy, a slight blush surfacing onto her cheeks. “I-if that’s a-alright with you, of course!” she quickly added.

Twilight smiled at her friend’s adorableness. “Yes yes, it’s perfectly alright. Come on in, I’ll be with you in a moment.”

The timid mare stepped inside after the librarian, letting Twilight lead the way. What Fluttershy couldn’t help noticing the way her flanks moved in rhythmic motion with the rest of her body, and how her curves so nicely matched the rest of her…

‘Calm down, Fluttershy, you’re losing it again…’ she thought to herself. ‘What would Twilight think if she noticed her looking at her flank? No, she couldn’t… she couldn’t know.

“So Flutters, how’s about we take our business to the bedroom, heh?”

Her eyes widened at the proposal, which was enough to get a cute giggle from our dear Twilight and elicit her to the stairs leading above. Fluttershy, still shocked and a bit confused, quickly shook off these feelings as she too climbed the stairs to what was to be a rather unexpected visit to the library rooms.

Twilight Sparkle, being the studious unicorn she was, had been taking careful observations of the shy pegasus. Being one of her best friends, she knew that she spent most of her time with animals, whether taking care of them or talking to them. This gave her a rather curious odor, the kind of musk that only wild animals had out in nature.

And Twilight loved it.

She had been wanting Fluttershy for months now, the sort of want that only lust could bring. Whenever her eyes fell upon the bountiful body of the animal caretaker, her hormones began to wildly react, causing every muscle to tense in pleasure. Not surprisingly, Twilight saw the same thing happen with Fluttershy whenever she saw Twilight.

That, and combined with the fact that both of them were virgins, was enough for Princess Celestia’s protege to make up her mind.

“Um, Twilight?” asked Fluttershy as they reached the bedroom.

“Yes?”

“Do you, like, maybe want to, I don’t know…” How could she put it out there…?

Twilight smiled warmly at the efforts. “Yes, yes I do Fluttershy. Why do you think we came up here?”

Fluttershy’s cheeks turned from lightish-pink to hot-red in an instant. No doubt about it, high emotions were running through the air, which felt saturated with heavy hearts.

“C’mere, honey. Show me some love,” said Twilight as she jumped up onto the bed on her backside, revealing her nice, wet...

The typing came to a stop as George's fingers began to cramp from the constant movement. He let them rest for a bit, looking over the words he had typed for the past couple of minutes, with a slight smile coming to his face. The progress he had made on the story was good, and he hoped to get a little more work on it before he went to sleep.

The idea of writing a clopfic had always been the young man's head, ever since he started writing fan-fiction. He had just never gotten around to doing it. But now, with more time on his hands, George was going to fulfill his destiny and write his first ever clop-fic. His friends were going to love it!

He was about to start typing again when he heard a loud knocking on my front door. Gosh darnit, there’s always something to distract me, isn’t there, George thought to himself as he lifted myself off the chair in front of his computer desk and headed for the door. Hopefully, this wouldn’t take too long so that he could resume his work.

When he got to the front door and opened it, however, the man immediately knew that was not going to be the case. A loud chorus of “Get him”s rained down upon me, and in an instant, he found myself knocked to the floor by two large figures, whom easily pinned him down to the floor. A number of other figures came through the open door, the last slamming it behind it rather hard. Apparently, these guys meant business.

Pretty soon, our young hero found himself not only on the floor, but also with his hands behind his back and tied together. His legs were also tied, and as a result, George was unable to escape. His head was free though, and when all the commotion and shouting had settled down, he finally got a good look at my attackers. What he saw surprised the ever-living-crap out of him: it was the Mane Six themselves! But instead of happy smiles and laughs, all of them wore expressions of pure distaste and hatred, something George would not have thought terrifying in the least if they didn’t have him tied down and out in ten seconds flat.

“Wha-what the hell is going on here?!” he shrieked, finding it hard to not panic. After all, if six ponies had you subdued without breaking a sweat, you’d be pretty freaking terrified.

It was all in vain, however, as all he received in response was a slap across the face by Pinkie Pie’s rubber chicken (who knew those things could actually hurt?). “Shut your mouth-hole, mister!” she said, spitting out the rubber chicken in her mouth to speak clearly, “I don’t want anything else coming from the likes of you!”

Now George was scared. Coming from the pony that inspired the likes of “Cupcakes” and “Smile”, those words instilled absolute fear in him. “I-I honestly have no idea what you're-”

This time, the slap he received came from Rainbow Dash, who had most likely been one of the two who had tackled him. “She said to shut the buck up!” she yelled, obviously infuriated by the man's lack of tenacity, “We came here to teach you a Celestia-damned lesson, and that’s what we’re going to do. Kapeesh?”

George could only nod as Twilight Sparkle approached him. He looked into her big, violet eyes, and there he saw recognition, like she knew the pain and terror that pervaded him. She too had the burning hatred in her eyes, but mixed in with that was a calm state, as she was a bit more reserved than her friends.

“Human, do you know why we have come here and taken you hostage?” she asked. The human in question shook his head, a little calmed by her mature state. “You have committed a terrible act today, something that not only brings shame to us ponies as a race and kingdom, but also to your fellow bronies and peers.” Still confused, I looked at her quizzically, and she sighed. “You have decided to write... a clop-fic.”

Every other pony in the room besides her bent over, as if they were quietly wretching at the sheer prospect of a clop-fic. George could only be astounded, but that quickly turned to anger as he thought about it some more. “Hey, wait a minute!” he said, deciding to voice out his thoughts, “What’s so wrong with that?! I’m not the only one who does it! Lots of bronies have-”

“SILENCE!” she shouted in her Royal Canterlot Voice, and with her horn glowing, she zipped the man's mouth shut, cutting off his ability to speak, “Alright girls,” she said, addressing the other five ponies, “Let’s get him.”

Five of them began closing in on poor George, who could do nothing but struggle in him bonds and attempt to shout, only for his voice to be muffled by his magically-glued together lips. He looked at each of them, teary eyes pleading and begging for another chance, but only got vicious glares in response. Finally, those eyes fell on the one mare who wasn’t coming for him, Fluttershy. For a while, she hid behind her mane and looked to the floor, but she quickly stole a glance at him. When her eyes met his, he could see that she did not hold the hatred that the other eyes held, rather it was… judging. Less-than-harsh contempt. A little curiosity and even a bit of loathing. But the two things that hurt George the most from her eyes were the shame… and the pity. She was ashamed of George, of his presence, of his actions, but she still pitied him. She pitied the human for the consequences he now faced.

And then she looked away once more, perfectly okay with the fact that her five friends were beating upon a man who had shamed them all.

George, in truth, was more damaged from that realization than the buck from Rainbow Dash that turned his vision dark.

George violently shook in his chair, which had been the result of his sudden awakening. He was not tied down on the floor with five ponies ready to skin him alive, rather he was back at his desktop, with his work in front of him. He must have dozed off when his fingers began to get cramped and dreamt the whole thing. What an odd dream… he thought to himself.

He looked over the last words he had written. She jumped up onto the bed on her backside, revealing her nice, wet… George was about to type in the next word when the dream popped up in his head again. Of course, it hadn’t happened, but still, it had seemed so real.

He looked over at the wall of my bedroom, where a poster of the Mane Six of My Little Pony was on display. They all had such happy looks…

I’d rather keep them with happy look. Without a moment’s hesitation, he exited out of Drive document and went back to my Google Drive page with all my work. The document I had been working on, My First Clop-fic, lay at the top, being the most recently edited. I quickly selected that file, then clicked the trash can icon above it. The words “Are you sure you want to delete this file?” came up, and I looked back at the poster.

“Yep, definitely better happier,” I said to myself as I clicked the “Yes” button, deleting the file forever. I yawned, got up, stretched, and went to bed, knowing that somewhere out there, my girl Fluttershy would still be proud of me.

Author's Note

Let me tell you guys a story. This story was originally finished as a first person narrative, where the person having the dream and writing the clop-fic was me. I thought it was great, and submitted it about two months ago, thinking it would be all fine and dandy.
Unfortunately, it was rejected by one of the mods for the simple reason of "It's a meta story".
So I thought to myself, okay, I can see why they wouldn't want that. After all, the story mentions FIMFiction a couple of times. So I went back, made the minor changes so that it no longer had any meta-references in it, and submitted it again.
Only to get rejected again.
By this point, I was so confused. So I messaged the mod that had rejected the story's submission asking what I had done wrong. And he told me that since some of the mods couldn't agree on what classified as a meta-story (by the way, I see meta stories get released all the time on this site, so I can't see what's the big idea with mine), so he advised me to wait till the meta rules were all fixed up and set in place, and then sumbit again.
But since then, I haven't heard a word about any new meta-rules, so this story has been sitting on my account for God-Knows how long. Finally, today I saw it and decided "To Hell with It", so I fixed up the story so that it was no longer a first person story and centered it all around George, which is a name I hate by the way.
So now, hopefully, this passes moderation and I'm not just typing out this long rant for nothing. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this seriously down-graded story.