The Problem With Body Swapping
“And that’s when Rainbow Dash showed up,” said Fluttershy, before taking another sip of tea.
“And she fought the bullies off or something?” Discord asked, a bored look on his face. Fluttershy had convinced the reformed spirit of chaos to have a tea party with her and has spent the last hour telling the story of how she and Rainbow Dash earned their Cutie Marks.
“Yes,” said Fluttershy, a happy smile on her face. “She challenged them to a race and performed the Sonic Rainboom for the first time and-”
“Yawn,” said Discord. “No offense, Fluttershy, but your life story is, quite impressively, boring me to death.” To emphasize his point, Discord’s body was flying on the floor behind him, the Discord sitting at the table was a transparent ghost.
“…I’m sorry,” Fluttershy mumbled. “I thought it was exciting…”
“I’m sure it would be if I actually saw it,” said Discord, as he climbed back into his own body. “Though I must ask, why didn’t you do anything?”
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.
“You just stood there and let them pick on you,” said Discord. “If I were you, I’d give them that creepy stare of yours, or turn them into a bowl of ice cream. You and Rainbow Dash both like ice cream, right?”
Fluttershy’s face turned pale. “I… don’t think eating them is an option. Mostly because that’s gross, but partly because I can’t do magic like you.”
“And why was standing up for yourself not an option, either?” Discord asked. His eyes widened. “These bullies aren’t more powerful than me, are they?”
“No,” said Fluttershy, “I just wasn’t used to standing up for myself back then.”
“I was,” said Discord. “I could even stand up for myself in my sleep.”
“Weren’t you a statue back then?” Fluttershy asked. “So you were technically forced to be standing.”
“Details,” said Discord, shrugging.
“I guess it’s hard for you to understand,” said Fluttershy.
“Understand what?” Discord asked.
“What it’s like to me be,” said Fluttershy.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s not that different,” said Discord. He snapped his fingers, and in a flash Fluttershy found herself looking down at herself.
“What did you just do?” Fluttershy asked. She froze in surprise upon hearing her voice. “Wait, what’s wrong with my voice?” She felt her heartbeat quicken as she realized her voice sounded exactly like Discord’s. Fearfully, she looked down to see that she was currently residing in the draconequus’ body. “Ahh!”
The Fluttershy before her rolled its eyes. “Oh, come now, Fluttershy, it’s not that scary.”
“W-why do you have my voice?” Fluttershy stuttered.
“Think, Fluttershy!” the other Fluttershy said, tapping a hoof against her head. “You said I don’t understand what it’s like to be you, so I had to switch bodies!”
“D-Discord?” Fluttershy asked. She narrowed Discord’s, or rather, her eyes. “At least warn me before you do that!”
“Calm down,” said Discord, before looking over his new pegasus body. “This is a lot more frail than I thought it would be.”
“Thanks for that,” Fluttershy said sarcastically. Her eyes widened. “Oh, did I just say that out loud?”
“Yeah,” said Discord, giving a test of his wings and hovering above the floor. “This is a little fun, I suppose.”
“I’m not having much fun,” said Fluttershy, straightening up to stare Discord in the eye, before bumping her head on the ceiling. She hunched over, a moody look on her face.
“Fine,” sighed Discord, landing again. He stood there for a moment. “Huh. Can’t seem to will myself back. Guess I have to snap… something. You don’t have fingers, how can I do this?”
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.
“Oh, never mind,” said Discord, looking at the feathers on his wings. “That’ll work.” He flexed to of the feathers, and made them snap against each other. The only thing that happened was the feathers breaking.
“Could you treat my body more gently, please?” Fluttershy asked.
“That sounds really bad out of context,” Discord said, before trying again with the other wing. Those feathers broke too, but nothing else happened. “Uh-oh.”
“What do you mean ‘uh-oh’?”
“Okay, so I didn’t exactly think this through,” said Discord, awkwardly digging at the floor with his hoof.
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked again, fear creeping into her voice.
“Well, normally I snap my fingers and things would do whatever I wanted,” said Discord. “You only have feathers, and snapping them is rather… I want to say painful? Not sure what pain feels like. This may be my first time feeling it, actually. Ow…”
“So you can’t switch us back?” Fluttershy asked, beginning to hyperventilate.
“No,” said Discord. “But you can! Having stolen my body, and all…”
“I didn’t steal-”
“Just snap and switch us back already!” Discord interrupted, panic creeping into his voice as well. “No offense meant to you, but I really can’t stand being in this frail body!”
Fluttershy gulped, before lifting her hand and snapping. There was a brief pause before thunder rumbled outside. The two turned to look as chocolate milk began pouring down from the cotton candy clouds that filled the skies, Fluttershy’s animals rushing around for cover from the sudden storm.
“Okay…” said Discord, nodding his head. “I’d say that was close, but that’s too big a lie even for me.”
“Oh, dear,” Fluttershy mumbled, snapping her fingers again and again.
The panicking animals outside began slipping around on the path to the cottage as the dirt roads turned into soap. The birds took flight as their homes turned into lollipops. And finally, their entire view of outside turned pink as the cottage rose up off the ground, and into the cotton candy clouds.
Discord quickly reached up, grabbing Fluttershy’s arm to stop her from snapping again. “Okay, I think you’ve caused more than enough damage.”
“Oh goodness, everypony is going to be mad at me, aren’t they?” Fluttershy asked.
“Nah, they’ll understand,” said Discord. “I myself rather like the changes. View could be better, though.”
“I’ve got to go explain things to them,” said Fluttershy, climbing out the window, and awkwardly flying through the clouds.
“Did you even hear what I said?” Discord asked. “Is this what it’s like in this body? Do I just get ignored and hurt?” He went to fold his wings, and winced in pain as the broken feathers were pushed against each other. “Ahh…! Really need ice for these feathers or something.”
“Ahh!” Rarity gasped, as the chocolate milk rained down on her clothes line. “My designs! No!” She frantically pulled them down with her magic, bringing them inside to look them over.
“They’re RUINED!” Rarity cried, collapsing onto the floor and sobbing. “Why!?” She shuddered on the floor crying, before pulling herself up. She narrowed her eyes into a glare. “Discord… You’ll pay for this!”
Quickly throwing on her raincoat and umbrella, Rarity galloped out the door towards Fluttershy’s cottage, only to immediately slip and fall on the soap roads. “Ahh! …DISCORD!”
Rainbow Dash was asleep on a tree branch, the leaves blocking the chocolate milk rain from hitting her. Fluttershy crash landed her draconequus body at the foot of the tree. “Rainbow Dash!”
“Hey, Fluttershy,” Rainbow mumbled in her sleep. “Oh, how’d you know I wanted hot chocolate?”
“Um, the chocolate milk isn’t really that warm,” said Fluttershy, glancing up at the clouds. “Could you wake up, please?”
“Eat up?” Rainbow mumbled. “But it’s a liquid…”
“Rainbow!” Fluttershy shouted, flinching back from the volume of her own voice.
“Huh?” Rainbow asked, her eyes shooting open. She turned to see Discord’s face looming over her. “Ahh!” Recoiling back in surprise, Rainbow fell from the tree, splashing into a puddle of chocolate. “Discord! What are you doing waking me up?”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Fluttershy said. “But, I’m not-”
“Hey, what’s going on?” Rainbow asked, looking up at the sky. “Chocolate rain? Discord! I thought we said no chaos!”
“I’m sorry!” Fluttershy whimpered, looking down. “I didn’t mean to, I was just trying to-”
“Trying to conquer Equestria again?” Rainbow asked, looking around. “Where’s Fluttershy? I doubt she’d let you do this!”
“I didn’t let him,” said Fluttershy, “I did it by mistake!”
“You didn’t let him?” Rainbow repeated, a confused look on her face. “What are you… Wait, you’re not…”
“No, I’m not Discord,” said Fluttershy. “We ended up switching bodies and…”
“Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked, eyes wide. Upon receiving a nod in answer, Rainbow Dash fainted, falling back into the puddle again.
“Oh, dear,” Fluttershy mumbled.
“Grr,” Applejack growled, slipping and sliding over the soap roads. “Discord, you sneak…”
“Whee!” said Pinkie, skating along the road next to Applejack. “Hiya, AJ! Isn’t this fun?”
“No, it’s not!” snapped Applejack. “Ah’ve gotta harvest apples, which Ah can’t do when the cart has no traction!”
“Oh, yeah, that is a problem,” said Pinkie, biting her lower lip in thought. “But what can we do? Twilight is out of town, and even if she was here, the Elements of Harmony are back in that tree thing.”
“We can hogtie that no good Discord and make him fix it, that’s what,” said Applejack.
“Ooh, great idea, Applejack!” said Pinkie. “He’s probably at Fluttershy’s cottage. Follow meeeeee!” Pinkie skated off ahead of Applejack.
Applejack grumbled under her breath, before sliding after her.
“Discord!” Rarity called. She was standing at the foot of the bridge to Fluttershy’s house, looking up at the floating cottage.
“Just a minute!” Discord called back, struggling to clear away the cotton candy clouds surrounding the airborne home. He glided down, wincing in pain from the broken feathers and gasping for breath from the energy he exerted.
“Oh, what happened to your wings?” Rarity asked.
“I broke my feathers trying to snap them,” said Discord. “I’d demonstrate, but it hurts enough as is.”
“Where’s Discord?” Rarity asked, looking up. “What does he think he’s doing. Does he know he ruined my new dresses?”
“He’s busy trying to clean up Fluttershy’s mess,” said Discord.
“Why are you talking like you aren’t here?” Rarity asked.
“Because you just were,” Discord replied.
“No I didn’t,” said Rarity.
“Yes you did,” said Discord. “You asked where I was.”
“No, I asked where Discord was,” said Rarity.
“And I’m right here,” said Discord.
“You are?” Rarity asked. “Wait, you’re Discord?”
“Bingo,” said Discord. “Fluttershy and I switched bodies. If you want to blame anyone for the chaos, blame her for failing to switch us back.”
Rarity quickly fainted, sliding down the soap road and into a chocolate milk puddle, her coat and mane getting drenched.
“Well, that went better than I thought it would,” said Discord.
“You okay?” Fluttershy asked.
“I’m fine,” said Rainbow, shaking herself dry. “So, you caused the chaos?”
“Yes,” said Fluttershy. “I said Discord didn’t understand what it was like to be me, so he decided to have us switch bodies as a joke. And, well, my body can’t use chaos magic, so…”
“You know, for a god of chaos, he’s kind of an idiot,” said Rainbow.
“Not as big of one as I am,” said Fluttershy. “I tried to switch us back but I just caused all this!”
Rainbow rubbed at her leg awkwardly. “Yeah, not gonna lie, you were pretty far off. But it is chaos magic, so maybe it works differently? Like, you don’t focus on what you want to happen, you just hope something good happens when you do it?”
“So, just do it without thinking?” Fluttershy asked.
“It’s worth at least one try, right?” Rainbow asked, giving a small smile of encouragement. “Go on, it’s okay.”
Fluttershy shut her eyes tight as she snapped her fingers. Rainbow closed her eyes as well from the flash of light.
“What did that do?” Rainbow heard her voice ask fearfully.
Feeling nervous, Rainbow opened her eyes, and looked down at herself, discovering she was now in the draconequus body, while her own body stood on the ground before her, trembling with its eyes shut.
“Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked, shuddering upon hearing Discord’s voice come out of her mouth.
“Discord?” Fluttershy asked, opening her eyes and looking up.
“Take another guess, ‘Rainbow’,” Rainbow replied in a deadpan.
Fluttershy turned to look back at herself, seeing the rainbow lightning bolt Cutie Mark adorning her flank. Speaking in Rainbow Dash’s voice, Fluttershy still managed to sound small and quiet. “Oh. I messed up again…”
“It’s not that bad,” said Rainbow. “At least you switched bodies, right? Just, the completely wrong one.”
“Yeah,” Fluttershy mumbled.
“You know, maybe we’d be better off asking Discord himself how this works,” said Rainbow. “Or yourself, since he’s in you. Myself since I’m in him?”
“This is giving me a headache,” said Fluttershy.
“That might be because I hit my head falling from the tree,” said Rainbow. “Sorry.”
“You could have caught me, at least,” Rarity grumbled.
“It all happened so fast,” Discord lied.
“Yeah, right,” Rarity muttered, before giving a sad look at her mane. “It’ll take hours to wash this all out…”
“How tragic,” said Discord. “Meanwhile, Fluttershy is running rampant in my body.”
“She is not!” Rainbow complained, as the draconequus and blue pegasus bodies flew up to them.
“Now you’re speaking as if you aren’t here, Fluttershy?” Rarity asked.
“No, I’m speaking as if I’m not her,” said Rainbow.
“Good news, Discord!” said Fluttershy, posing in Rainbow’s classic boasting pose. “I managed to get out of your body!”
“And into a different one, it seems,” said Discord.
“I am getting a headache,” said Rarity.
“Probably because you fell down a hill,” said Discord.
“Because you didn’t catch me!” Rarity snapped. She turned to face Rainbow’s body. “So, Fluttershy, right?”
“Yes,” said Fluttershy, dropping the pose and gazing at the ground sadly.
“So that means Rainbow Dash is currently in Discord’s body,” said Rarity.
“So it seems,” said Discord.
“Now tell me how your magic works so we can switch back to the right bodies!” said Rainbow.
“You think I know how it works?” Discord asked. “Most of the fun comes from having no idea what will happen!”
“…I hate you so much…” Rainbow mumbled, before a lasso was suddenly tossed over her. “What the hay!?”
“Gotcha, Discord!” said Pinkie, as Applejack dragged Rainbow down to the ground, quickly tying her up.
“You’re a bit off, actually,” said Discord.
“What the hay are you doing!?” Rainbow snapped.
“Making you fix the weather and roads, that’s what!” said Applejack.
“I didn’t even damage them!” said Rainbow.
“It was Fluttershy!” said Discord.
“Thanks, Discord,” said Fluttershy.
“Wait, what’s going on?” Applejack asked, looking up.
“If I had to guess,” said Pinkie, “I’d say that-”
“Discord drove them all insane!” said Applejack.
“That’s not quite right, darling,” said Rarity, before Applejack quickly tied everypony up.
“There,” said Applejack. “Now we just need to remind them of their true selves and everything will be back to normal.”
“I know my true self already!” snapped Rainbow. “Telling me who I am won’t fix anything!”
“Quiet, Discord!” said Applejack.
“That’s Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy corrected.
“Okay, what’s going on here?” Twilight asked, flying up to everypony. "I saw the cotton candy all the way from Canterlot!"
“Twilight, thank goodness you’re here,” said Rarity.
“Applejack has gone crazy and tied everypony up!” said Pinkie.
“Pinkie you traitor,” Applejack muttered. “Ah can explain, Twi. Ya see.”
“Trust me, Applejack, I don’t think you can explain at all,” said Rarity.
“You see,” said Fluttershy, “Discord started this all by switching bodies with me. Then he couldn’t switch back and my attempts caused the chocolate milk storm and soap roads.”
“So she came to me to apologize,” said Rainbow, “I gave her a suggestion to try, and it caused us to switch bodies.”
“Then,” said Discord, “this angry apple attacked.”
“Nice alliteration, Fluttershy!” said Pinkie.
“Discord,” Fluttershy corrected.
“Wait, so y’all switched bodies and…” Applejack looked up, mouthing words as she tried to figure it out. “Who’s in who, now?”
“Discord is in me,” said Fluttershy from Rainbow’s body.
“Fluttershy is in me,” said Rainbow from Discord’s body.
“And Rainbow Dash is in me,” said Discord from Fluttershy’s body.
“That didn’t really help me…” said Applejack.
“It helped me, though!” Twilight smiled, as she finished untying everyone. “And fear not, I know a spell that can switch us all back to normal!”
“You do?” Pinkie asked.
“Sort of,” said Twilight.
“I don’t think that’s really good enough,” said Discord.
“Ready?” Twilight asked.
“No,” said Fluttershy.
“Oh, come now, Rainbow, I mean, Fluttershy,” said Twilight. “What could go wrong?”
“Why would you-” Rarity began, before a bright flash of violet light emitted from Twilight’s horn enveloped all of them.
“-Say that,” Applejack’s voice finished.
“Oh dear,” said Pinkie’s voice. “That didn’t go as I had hoped at all.”
“Ouch!” said Fluttershy’s voice. “Fluttershy, what happened to your feathers?”
“Ask Discord,” said Twilight’s voice. “It was his fault.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” said Pinkie’s voice. “I already said I didn’t think things through!”
“Oh no,” said Discord’s voice. “Don’t tell me Pinkie can use magic.”
“Yep, I can!” said Rarity’s voice, as her horn lit up.
“Dagnabbit!” said Discord’s voice. “Well, at least Ah can, too.”
“Hold that thought… I’m guessing Applejack?” said Pinkie’s body. “Maybe we should just ask Princess Celestia to sort things out.”
“You couldn’t have done that in the first place?” Fluttershy’s body said.
“This is going to be a long, stressful day, isn’t it,” said Applejack’s body.
“Well, Ah’m sure Princess Celestia will know what she’s doing,” said Discord’s body.
“Ah take it back,” said Rarity’s body. Everyone had gathered in Canterlot Castle's throne room with Celestia and Luna, and were trying to sort out who was in who.
“Sister, how did you mess up this badly?” said Applejack’s body.
“Good question,” said Pinkie’s body.
“Ouch…” said Fluttershy’s body. “Couldn’t you have preened them while you were in here, Rainbow?”
“Sorry,” said Luna’s body. “But you should know how to preen by now, Twilight.”
“Actually, that’s Rarity,” said Rainbow’s body. “I’m over here.”
“This is all very confusing,” said Celestia’s body.
“Fear not, Fluttershy!” said Twilight’s body. “For now that I’m in a body that can do magic again, I can set everything right in a snap!” To emphasis his point, Discord snapped two of Twilight’s feathers. “Ouch!”
“Use my horn!” said Twilight from Rainbow’s body.
“Right, forgot you had one of those,” said Discord, lighting Twilight’s horn up.
After the light faded, Fluttershy, from Celestia’s body, spoke. “Um, Discord? Nothing changed.”
“We’re going to be earth ponies forever, aren’t we sister?” Luna asked from Applejack’s body.
“Possibly,” said Celestia from Pinkie’s body. “But at least the crown is in good hooves.
“Rainbow Dash is in my body, though,” said Luna.
“…At least my crown is in good hooves,” Celestia corrected.
“I don’t understand it,” said Discord from Twilight’s body. “That spell should have switched somepony's bodies around.”
“Cadance?” said Cadance’s body, peeking out of the throne room of the Crystal Palace and down the hall towards where Shining Armor was patrolling. “Why is there two of me?”
“A better question, Shining,” said Shining Armor’s body, turning around to face Cadance. “Is why you have my body.”
Shining looked down to see the pink alicorn’s body. “Oh.” A small smile formed on Cadance’s body’s face. “Oh!”
“Don’t you even think about it,” said Cadance.
“Oh…”
Author's Note
Just a short, one-shot fanfic I wrote for fun. If someone else already wrote a fic with a similar idea, I apologize. I don't mean to steal ideas from anyone.