Chapters Dear Princess Celestia,
Here we go again, you've ripped apart my mental process.
Now we can't even stand each other. I'm just a lie built for you. I would rather be anywhere all alone, because I know; the very worst part of you, is me. Yet, the more I push the more you pull me back. So let me go....Let me take back my life.
I'm so lonely and you're so cold to me, my hollow hero. I can't make sense of these feelings anymore. You treat me like a stranger whenever you're around. I don't want to live this way, waiting for the day you finally love me again.
This darkness...I'm so alone....
Why does it feel like night in the day? It's like whirlwind inside my heart, is this pain real? When I call and nobody responds at all? I can't stop this tempest inside my head and it seems like my sun has finally set....I feel its light inside me fading....
I need you now more than ever...Please...Please.... I'm so alone....
Your loving sister,
Luna
Celestia read the tear stained letter and wondered if the tears where hers or Luna's. She sobbed softly, letting the tears fall freely onto the parchment. The aching in her heart only grew with every sentence she read from Luna's letter's. Celestia opened the next letter slowly, fearing what awaited her aching heart next.
Dearest sister,
I have some wonderful news. Oh! I'm so excited I can hardly contain it. I think...
...I think I'm in love...
I met her, that's right HER, when she visited our royal court a few days ago. She was so beautiful, I never thought I could feel this way about somepony else. She kept looking at me and blushing, it was soooooo cute. ("I can practically hear her squee." Celestia thought, smiling sadly) I decided that this may be my only chance to say something, so I invited her up to my room for some tea so we could "talk". I know you wouldn't approve, but she understands me. We spent our time together talking about how wonderful the night sky is and how life in Canterlot can be such a choir. We even talked about you for a bit. She thinks very highly of you, which surprised me quite a bit. I asked her "Why?"
She came by again today and we had some more tea. She commented on the state of the guards lacking..."Civility" I will have to look into this. She said they kept bumping into her in the hall and muttering things like
I kissed her...
It was the most wonderful thing I think I have ever done. Her lips were soft like a marshmallow and her mane smelled of tea leaves and parchment.
I lay here writing this now, because I want you to know why I'm leaving. I have decide to move in with the love of my life, Twilight Sparkle, and I hope this may comfort you more then you have ever comforted me.
I still love you, my sister, and I always will. I hope you find your happiness too.
Yours truly,
Luna
Celestia gaped at the parchment for several seconds rereading the final lines again and again. Her heart froze in her
Dear Princess Celestia,
I know its not your fault, but you had to know. I need you to understand....I need you....
It seems the guards had other plans for my love, or maybe it was you. It really doesn't matter anymore you got your wish, I am all alone once again. She is gone....Forever.....
Love its such a beautiful lie, it's nothing more then heartbreak. I'm just left here waiting for a hero I can't believe in. I'm left here wide awake will you're sleeping.
I'm still alive, but she has her freedom.
This will be my last letter to you, my dearest sister. It's been so long since I could hold my head up high. Since I could stand on my own and everything I could remember wasn't just a fading dream. I can't go on without her, I just can't. I wait for her to come through those doors every night, why do I still wait?
In the end everypony ends up alone... Now, I'm lost and insecure, where are you?
WHERE WERE YOU?
I've become so numb and tired of being lost and alone all the time. I'm tired of living up to you, forced to walk in your shoes. Can't you see that everything you wanted me to be is falling apart right in front of you?
Now I will tell you what I have done for you, bleeding and breathing for you. I don't need you anymore....A thousand tears I have cried for you. I'm going under, drowning in this sea.......Falling forever........
Over and over, I feel this ache in my heart, but I won't be broken again. I would rather feel this pain, than nothing at all. Looking back I see now what I should have a thousand years ago. What YOU should have said a thousand years ago.
Pain. Without her love.
I love you sister,
Blood soaked the lower part of the parchment obscuring Luna's signature. Celestia let her tears flow freely now, it didn't matter anymore. She had not only lost a sister and her dearest friend, but also the one thing she had left of her. The fond memories they had shared. They had all been a lie, a brave smile and a fake laugh meant to please her. She stared at the moon for a long time and said the thing she should have said a century ago.
"I'm so sorry my sister. Please, don't go. I love you."
She sank down on the ground, sobbing into the grass before her.
The moon illuminated the grave in front of Celestia. it stood tall and regal, almost dwarfing the moon behind it. It bore Luna's cutie mark and the lines,
Next to her grave sat a smaller tombstone. It had a cutie mark of a star with small sparkles all around it. It bore the lines,
The stallions hooves were lined with dirt, from a long day in the field. His maroon coat shimmering with sweat. He gazed towards the fading sun, he wished he could have been stronger. He wasn't there, right when she needed him most. A single tear fell through the valleys of his aging face, a secret pain only he could bare.
"How the hell did it end like this?" He yelled towards the setting sun. "Someday never came!"
He fell to his knees, unable to contain his grief any longer. His tears fell into the freshly plowed Apple orchard.
"Big Mac?" Whispered a tiny voice. The small cyan pegasus stared at Mac in concern.
"Rainbow dash! What are yah doin' out here?" Quickly whipping the tears from his eyes. He tried to put on a brave face for her, but the tears didn't cease. She had begun to cry as well, her chin quaking. She let out a soft whimper and dashed towards him. He reached towards her and held her tightly to his muscular frame.
They cried with each other for a time, trembling with each raking sob. He slowly released her and looked towards a lone Macintosh tree, pain clearly etched into his amber eyes. The tree leaves had turned a soft yellow, but stubbornly refused to fall.
"I'm so sorry, dash. I couldn't save her." He whispered his voice quivering.
"It's not your fault, Mac." She replied her eyes rippling with more tears."No pony could've...."
They both leaned into each other and watched the sun set on a single grave at the base of the regal oak tree.
~-~-~
He remembered every word of her final letter to him. The ink seared into his memory forever. He remembered crying alot, but that seemed to be all he was doing lately.
Dear Big Macintosh,
I'm unwell and I have been for sometime now. I've spent all day staring at the ceiling, trying to figure a way to write this letter to you. I can't convey how scared I am right now through this pen.I hate myself for not telling you when I found out, but I don't want you to feel like you failed me.
It's was about a month ago, I felt a numbness in my left side and the world seem to spin before me. I passed out and when I awake I was in the emergency room. Nurse Redheart explained to me that I had suffered I thing called a subderal hematoma. She said I was slowly bleeding into my brain . She explained to me th....that the chances are very high that it is going to happen again and that the next one will killed me.
I want you to know I love you mac. I love the time we've had together. I feel so down every time you ask me, "what's wrong?" I wish I could tell you, but I want you to move on .... Find that strength you've had inside and forget about me. Take care of Angel bunny for me. He needs to know that I will always be here, even if he can't see me.
Tears stained the paper, smudging some of the beautiful calligraphy. Mac was sobbing by this point, his heart in his throat.
Remember when.....We were young and Granny Smith showed us the zap apples for the first time. You held me at night when I was scared, you made me feel so safe. We played in the orchards during the day. I wanted that summer to last forever. It was when we promised that no matter what, we would always be there for each other. I remember saying to you, "Promise me, we can do this again....someday."
Now, an ounce of peace, is all I want for you. So hate me, for all the thing I didn't do for you. Hate me, so you can finally see what's good for you. I hope I never cross your mind, do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.
I can feel it now, my mind is going dark, my bodies starting to shut down. It's to soon. I'm so scared. I wish you were here. I'm so sorry for everything. I want you to know....I will always be with you. I love you so much and I'm going to miss you.
I hope this comforts you, as much as you comfort me. You are my hero Mac. Thank you for saving me.
Your loving wife, forever and ever, Fluttershy
~-~-~-
"Waiting for her someday, Here lies Fluttershy. She will be forever in our hearts and in our minds. May she rest in peace."
Mac lay there for days after the funeral, waiting for the pain to fade. He missed her. He missed her laugh, her smile, her gentle kiss. He missed it all and it made his heart ache with every beat. She was his everything and now she was gone.
Though you're still with me, I feel so alone, he thought sadly. He let out a ragged sigh and whispered, pain in every word,
"How could you do this to me ?"
Spike clutched the letter he had written tightly. He tip toed up the stairs to Twilights room and stood there staring at the door. He placed the letter gently on the floor and whispered, “Thank you Twilight.” He trotted down the stairs, grabbed his pack, and silently slipped out the front door. He cried gently with each step he made, never looking back.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Twilight yawned softly, as she exited her bed. The normal smell of coffee and the sound of clanking silverware were absent from the still morning air. She raised an eye brow when she noticed this and sighed. He probably slept in again, she thought merrily. With a smirk, she opened her door, preparing to go wake him. She heard a soft crinkling noise as she walked forward. She looked down at the letter and frowned. Spike wasn’t supposed to leave her mail on the floor.
Dear Twilight,
I have to block out these thoughts of you. They just remind me I’m alone. Please forgive me,I know it hurts just as much too read this as it does to write it. In a sick way, I want to thank you. This letter showed me that I can finally move on.
I’m sorry for the things I didn’t do for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been more of a son to you. I will disappear into the earth, to take my final breath. I’m going to end it were it began, you’ve suffered to long. Let forever drag me from your memory, I don’t deserve to live even there.
Celestia, let me go. I feel this evil within, I an feel it crawl beneath my skin. This dark cold presence in my soul. I can’t feel anything anymore. Is this the way you want to remember me? I'm so tired and I know that I don't have much longer awake, so I will say what I should have said when you hatched me.
I love you mom. Thank you for caring for me, even though I'm not your foal. I'm going to miss you. Goodbye.....
Your loving son,
Twilight clutched the letter to her chest and cried. She cried at her own selfishness. She cried that her only "son" was dying and she could do nothing to prevent it. Most of all though, she cried because she loved him and he knew even without her saying.
"I love you too Spike..." She whispered painfully into oblivion.
"May you rest in peace...."
-~-~-~-
Twilight stared at the fading light of Celestia's sun. she made her decision, she was going after spike. She needed to tell him how sorry she truly was and how much she loved him.She hastily packed her saddle bags and left a note for Luna. She had an idea where he might go. She pointed her nose towards the Everfree Forest and ran as fast as her hooves could take her.
A gray mare moaned gently, her tears disappearing into the earth. She had marched up the palace steps and fell to the ground. Her amber eyes brimming with tears, she lay there in defeat. Ragged wounds crossed her chest and flanks, signs of her demise. She no longer hurt, the numbness was spreading quickly. She let out one more sigh and closed her eyes to the setting palace sun.
A letter fell from her saddle bags and glimmered with her crimson blood. She breathed her last and closed her eyes, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. She had failed for the first time; her mail went undelivered.
The scroll came unwound and revealed the script within.
Dear Princess Luna,
I want you to know I am ok and all is well. I am currently tracking Spike deeper into the Everfree Forest. I have advised my guide, Fluttershy, that we have to find him soon. I hope to return to you with him very soon. Our search goes well and we are making good time. She predicts we should see him in the next day or two.
On a more personal note, I miss you. I wish you were here with me to cuddle on these cold nights. I have to forgo sleeping in Fluttershys tent, it is quite occupied. Her and Mac have been very helpful in my searching, but they just make me wish a had somepony here to hold me. This forest frightens me, especially at night. I keep hearing voices in the night, like hushed whispers. I tried to tell this to Mac and Fluttershy, but they wouldn't listen. I can't help this feeling of foreboding, its making me paranoid. It's like a voice inside of my head, laughing at my foalishness.
I miss those nights together in each others arms. You made me feel so safe....and happy. I have never felt so alone, then I am right now. I hope you think of me when I'm gone. I only pray that you never leave me, cause I think....I think, I love you. I love you, Luna. Celestia, how I've wanted to tell you that. I love you. I love you. I. LOVE. YOU.
I've loved you ever since I layed eyes on you. You were a vision of elegance and grace. When you asked me up for tea the day I met you, I was so nervous. I was afraid my constant talking would scare you off and you would hate me. When you actually cared what I had to say and started asking questions, I almost burst from joy. You have done something that no other pony can. You cared. My friends care about me, but not about what I know. I wanted to kiss you right then and there.
I am giggling right now, as I write this. The image of you sleeping just popped into my head.
You had fallin' asleep after our third night together and I was watching you slumber. I realize it was uncoothe and I know you didn't know I did it, but I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You looked stunning bathed in the moonlight, your hair just barely covering your face. You moan a little in your sleep, by the way. I can't help blush at what I did to you that night. You just....I couldn't help myself.
I kissed you as you slept and it was the most wonderful thing I've ever done. You probably don't remember that it, but I will cherish that night for the rest of my life.
I tell you now, because Mac warned us of some suspicious hoofprints he found in the woods last night. He warned that, from what he could tell, there are at least fifteen ponies. He said they have been "tracking" us for sometime, but haven't chosen to make contact yet. I hope this is just our own foal fears making us nervous.
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I have instructed Derpy Hooves to deliver this directly to you, nopony else can see this. She warned us today that she heard some of Princess Celestia's guard are looking for me. I told her not to worry, that you are probably just making sure I'm ok. Please tell her, when you recieve this, that she has nothing to fear.
I love you and I miss you. Hopefull,y we find Spike soon and I can return to your waiting hooves. Your loving friend ,
Twilight Sparkle
~-~-~
A palace guard walked up to the dying mare and snatched the letter from her remains. He quickly stuffed it into his armor and yelled for help. He then looked down at the mailmare with a sneer,
"Let that be a lesson to you and all your little filly-fooling friends."
He laughed at his insult and walked away, the suns final rays glimmering off his golden armor.
AFTER ACTION REPORT: DATE: 06/12/1359 H.M.Y. ACTING COMMANDING OFFICER: LT. CNL. SWIFT CC: HER ROYAL MAJESTY, OF THE HIGHEST ORDER, PRINCESS CELESTIA SUBJECT: TERMINATION OF ENEMY INSURGENTS STATUS: CLASSIFIED (NEED TO KNOW)
To whom it may concern,
On the Twelfth of August, Her Majesty’s Year 1359, my unit and I engaged a team of four enemy combatants on the edge of the Everfree forest. We secured their location via classified communication with your Highness. We attempted a covert recon of the group for several days but, were engaged on the sixth day of our surveillance. No guards where lost but, of the four combatants, three where critically injured and died in the proceeding hours. One escaped in the fog of the battle and has yet to be captured for questioning.
The events that lead up to this, went as follows:
I instructed my second in command, Master Sergeant ThunderRun, to follow the mailmare known as Ditzy Doo (a.k.a. Derpy Hooves) and prevent the transport of suspicious cargo with any means necessary. We, then, proceeded to commence with our search of the unicorn Twilight Sparkle and her two companions. When asked of their activity in the woods they became hostile and refused to answer my inquires civilly. The female Pegasus in the group, a Miss Fluttershy, was the most restrained in the questioning, but without any provocation, attacked Captain Dumbbell.
Then the largest of the group, a red earth pony with an apple cutiemark, broke free of our restraints and assaulted my person. I was able to swiftly retaliate and knocked the insurgent into the outlying brush. I then focused on the main threat at hand, the unicorn Twilight Sparkle. She had already dealt heavy blows to several of my second squad and was advancing on my position near the pegasus Fluttershy. She conjured what I can only describe as a lance with her magic and charged toward me. My valiant aid, Private Black Spade, bravely and swiftly silenced the would be attacker with a conjuration of his on lance. the private engaged her in one on one combat and prevailed with several quick blows to her torso and flanks. She fought valiantly but, it was in vain.
The pegasus, Fluttershy, was brought down by several lance blows from first squad, ending the engagement. We returned to our designated rendezvous with third squad and Master Sergeant Thunder Run. He reported to me that the mailmare had put up heavy resistance but, was quickly dispatched with over-whelming force. He suggested, to me, that the package was lost during the battle. I also regret to inform you that your prize pupil, Twilight Sparkle, died of her injures. The condolences of myself and my unit are with you.
Your faithful soldier and guardian, Lieutenant Colonel, Star Swift
~*~*~*~
Celestia gripped the brittle parchment with her mind, a demented gleam in her eye, and in an instant it raged in an ethereal blaze. It’s ashes fell like snow before the raging goddess, a stark black contrast to her pure white coat. She glared at the guards before her, but said nothing. She let her eyes slowly drift from soldier to soldier. Each of the meager guards flinched, as if struck, as her magenta gaze fell on them. She finally brought her vengeful gaze upon her most trusted advisor and confidant, Lt. Colonel Star Swift.
Her eyes stared into his with the fiercest intensity, but unlike his compatriots, his gaze did not waver from hers. He wore a cocky grin on his muzzle and rolled his shoulders back, standing even straighter. He swelled in self adulation and pride. He had spent years making himself invaluable to the princess, both in and out of the throne room. He had figured he had done a personal service to the princess relieving her of the meddling fillyfooler. Now she could focus on him and their own “special mentoring.”
Princess Celestia motioned to him and he promptly marched forward and saluted his "mentor." The hours the had spent whispering sweet nothings echoed in his mind, his gaze drifting over her gently curves.
“Always a pleasure your highness…“ Swift said, his eyes sparkling in confidence. She continued to glare at him as she spoke.
“I have something I must ask of you and your men.“ She requested flatly. Swift's eyes gazed lower towards Celestia's flanks and he licked his lips reflexively. He looked back at his “lover” eyes and grinned even wider.
“How may I service you?” he inquired with a wink.
He relished the fact that he had bedded the alicorn. All of Equestria knew of their “secret rendezvous” and he enjoyed waving it in everyponies face. Even more well known was his arrogance and his constantly slicked mane. He was also notorious for his callus humor and immaturity. He failed, however, to realize that she was in no mood for his brand of comedy.
“SILENCE!” Screamed the enraged elemental. “Lieutenant Colonel Star Swift! You DARE to address me as if I where some ten bit WHORE?”
In the thousand year solo rule of this princess, she had never once broken her gentle and benevolent persona. Shock was written across every pony present. Swift was undoubtedly the most shocked of them all.
“Celi what’s wr--” he appealed shakily.
“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK!” Her anger intensifying at hearing her sisters pet name for her. “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO USE THAT MONIKER IN MY PRESENCE!”
After several silent moments she composed herself to some degree, but her hair whipped around her like corona flares off the sun. They threatened to lash out at the cowering soldiers at any moment. They all reflexively lowered there gaze and fell to one knee. All of them, except Swift. He rose to his full height and glared at the princess.
He was captain of the guard! Who was this detached, soft-hoofed, foal to speak to him in this way. He had fought and clawed his way to this point and, by all accounts, he was her equal in every way.
"Your Highness, what is it you ask of me?" he asked flatly, bowing. He raised his gaze on her and gave a stare that could curdle milk.
"What is the meaning of this...this garbage ?" She replied venomously. She motioned towards the meager pile of ash at her the foot of her throne.
"That was my report on the reconnaissance you requested my task force to handle." He answered dryly.
"No! That was propaganda!" She declared in enraged. "I requested you aide my student and dear friend, Twilight Sparkle, in her search for her son. I want to know WHY DID YOU KILL HER? "
" I merely silenced a possible threat to you and your sister." He responded with a wave of his hoof. "She presented a clear threat and it is my duty to protect you and her from all dangers. Physical, Mental...or Emotional."
"You killed my sisters only friend in this world to protect ME?" She whispered astounded at his arrogance. Her hair began to rage as if caught in a cosmic tempest. She rose from her throne and moved closer to Swift.
"Yes. The unicorn was corrupting the other princess and we were merely...protecting her." He responded with an annoyed air. He then brought his hoof to his chin and tapped it softly.
"Now that I think about it. That fillyfooling slut unicorn was the probably the reason we never "tutored" your sister." He smirked at her. "You should thank me for removing the issue."
She gaped at him, dumbfounded.
She couldn't believe this arrogant and prejudice pony had once been the stallion she adored above all others. In over a thousand years she had refused suitors, except for him. Tears brimmed in her eyes, though this time in fury. She gripped the insolent guard in a blanket of her seething magic and held him just inches from her face. He let out a small yelp as she lifted him, but nopony came to his aid.
"You killed my sister... " She whispered, voice quivering in rage.
She grabbed the closet royal shield in her aura and crushed it into a fine round ball. She then crushed it into a thin disk and began to etch small serrations along its edge. She held the object just inches from Swifts head and began to spin it like a fan. It gleamed as it continued to accelerate, incased in her elemental manes fire. Swift whimpered at the improvised saw and gulped audibly.
"You killed Derpy, an innocent mother and mailmare..." Her voice rising as the blade spin faster and faster. He glanced at her and opened his mouth to plead, only to have his jaws slammed shut with magic.
"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK! NOT. ONE. WORD...YOU ARROGANT, INSOLENT, BASTARD!" She screamed with a violence and intensity that rivaled a nuclear detonation.
"You killed a wife and mother, Fluttershy ..." she continued, tears brimmed in her immortal eyes.
"I loved you..." She sobbed as she looked at him. "...I trusted you..."
He looked at her and he realized his mistake, but too little, to late. She smiled a bloodthirsty grin and raised the whirling disk over his head.
"Now! FEEL. MY. PAIN ...."She laughed in contemptuous glee.
She lowered the blade to his rear, just above his tail, and inched forward. His screams echoed across the throne room deafeningly but, every pony watched in terrified awe at the execution. She cackled madly as she inched the blade up his spine. His blood slowly began pooling at her feet and marring her snowy pelt. His screams grew weaker as she passed his midsection and edged towards his heart. His eyes stared into hers as she pulled the blade out and brought it to his throat.
"I'm so sorry..." He whispered tears in his eyes. The blade flashed maroon in the setting sun as it slid through his neck. She stood over his dismembered head and glared at him in disgust.
"SORRY DOESN'T BRING THEM BACK!" She screamed into his motionless body.
~*~*~*~
She rose and retreated to her throne, glancing at the cowering guards. She snarled at them in anger causing them to flinch.
"Begone you cur!" She yelled in anger. They all rushed out in a panic away from the mad ruler. They left their once proud leader to his fate in the hope this mollified the princess. She looked at the blood on her coat and then at the lifeless body of her foalish lover. She glanced at her setting sun and sighed. She had never ruled with a heavy hand and she had paid dearly for it. She thought long about all the moments she could have spent with her sister and not in the hooves of Swift.
She hollered for her servants and requested that they return the throne room to it's immaculate glimmer, while she took a hot bath. She needed to be away from the questions and judgment of her kingdom and its subjects.
As she lay in the her bed chamber, fresh from her bath, she wondered if the moon missed it's shepherd as much as she missed her. She questioned if the muffins would ever have the same aroma she had grown to love. She wondered if the forest creatures would ever forgive her for robbing them of their only pony friend. She wondered if the books would forget their gentle caretaker.
Celestia gazed at the stars beginning to form outside her balcony doors. She sighed at the painful sight of her sister's artwork. She walked onto the balcony and breathed in the warm August evening air. She watched the stars begin to wink into life one at a time.
"You will never be forgotten." She smiled in admiration. " If only I had remembered to tell you how beautiful your night is."
~*~*~*~
She lay down in her plush bed and closed her eyes to cry. She cried most of the night and eventually fell asleep. Her dreams where invaded with images of the days she spent laughing and playing with her sister. The days she spent smiling and laughing at the adventures of her pupil and her mare friends. She saw images of her sister dancing with twilight in the midnight sky, like ghostly angels on the starry sky. They reached out there hooves towards her and smiled invitingly. She awoke with fresh tears in her majestic eyes.
She glanced at the rising moon and smiled. She grabbed a quill and some parchment and scribbled a small note. She then folded it and kissed the seam. She placed the letter on her pillow and exited her room. After she left the letter slowly fell open, revealing its contents.
I just want to say 'thank you' . Thank you for showing me a sister's love and the warmth of a kindred soul. Thank you for the memories, because in my dreams I can see you every night. Even though your gone, in my dreams you never leave too soon. If I wake too soon, I now you're still there always watching over me. Like you always have.
I love you, so much.
Celi.
Celestia marched down the empty halls towards the guards tower. Because of her earlier spectacle, the guards had confined themselves to the tower. She knocked softly to which no reply came. After waiting for a time she forced open the door with her magic. The guards all stood in the back of the hall, cowering. She glanced around at the sorry sight and cleared her throat.
"There is no need to fear... I come with a request." Celestia sighed, crestfallen. "There is a small filly, named Dinky Hooves, I want her retrieved from Ponyville immediately."
They all stared at her in fear, but one finally whispered from the back.
"What? So you can kill her too?" said a silvery guard held a whimpering private. His words stung more then she had first anticipated, but she pressed on.
"I apologize that you had to witness that spectacle, but I assure you that you, and the rest of my subjects, are safe from my judgment." She replied evenly. She knew that the whole of Equestria would know about the fiasco with Swift, but she needed to make an example of his arrogance and ignorance.
"Why?" the silvery mare inquired, rising to his feet. He walked towards her and stood just a foot from her snout. "He was just protecting you from her corrupt and foalish ideas."
She starred at him confused. He was a bold stallion, but what he spoke made no sense. He read the confusion in her eyes and explained.
"Some of the guard, blinded by their prejudice, theorized that she was trying to court Your Highness to gain power and usurp control from you."
"That is absurd! I had no interest in courting her, or any pony." She responded in indignation. She sighed and lowered herself to the stone floor. She was now eye level with the stallion and she realized, absentmindedly, that he had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. They stared into hers with a tenderness and passion that not even Swift had shown her.
"She was my friend and I couldn't even protect her." Celestia sighed, fighting back tears.
Then the silver pony shocked her. He gently wrapped his hooves around her in a hug. His copper eyes were closed and he wore a deep vermilion blush. She gaped in shock, but returned the hug. She ignored the hushed whispers from behind the silver guard pony. She didn't care. All she wanted was for this pony to hold her close and never let her go.
He released her and stared into her eyes again. This time with a deep look of concern and empathy.
"You can't protect everypony." He whispered, tenderly. She sighed and nodded, sadly. He was right, but she still felt so weak and helpless.
"I have a suggestion!" He declared with a smile. She looked at him and quirked one eyebrow.
"Guys! Find this filly and bring her here. I will personally make sure she is taken care of, okay? "
His comrades looked at him confused, but began to mill about and grab their gear. They shuffled out the door past the princess then out of sight, leaving the princess with her new companion. He smiled at her and motioned for her to stand.
"What is your name, soldier?" She asked him in wonderment. Nopony, not even her sister, treated her as an equal. Most ponies cowered before her, but he stood tall and strong in her presence.
"Angelus Aria. My comrades call me Flak , though." He replied with a smile.
"Flak, would you please walk me back to my room?" She asked embarrassed.
She wasn't used to speak to someone on even terms and it made her blush. He nodded and held open the chamber door for their exit. The walked together for sometime down the dark and empty corridors. She glanced at her new companion and noted his cutie mark was a quill with a sword over it. He had a short auburn mane and a large scar on his right foreleg. He nickered at her when he realized her examination and brushed her with his auburn tail. She blushed fiercely and apologized.
~*~*~*~
After a while, they reached her bed chamber. He saluted and turned to excuse himself. A gentle hoof on his shoulder made him freeze. He looked back to see the princess looking away, her muzzle blazing red with embarrassment.
"Please stay with me tonight..." She asked in barely a whisper. "I don't want to be alone."
He smiled and held a hoof to her chin, his eyes unsure. She looked at him with pleading and he nodded.
"Okay, for you." He replied.
She sighed in relief and opened her door to let him in. Though she barely knew this pony, should couldn't help but feel safe when he was nearby. He made her feel weaker then she had ever been before. His eyes pulled her into their depths and his smile made her heart shudder. She felt a growing dread build inside her, but she figured that it would only be for one night.
She grabbed the note hastily and stuffed it into her bedside table. Flak pretended not to notice and pulled back the covers of her bed. He beckoned towards her and she trotted over to his side. She clambered under the covers and he gently tucked her in. He smiled and began to pull away, when a magical aura trapped him in place.
"Please..."Celestia begged sheepishly. She motioned toward the empty part of her bed and he smiled, again.
"Princess..."He warned in a grave, but playful tone.
"Just for tonight....I don't want to be alone. Please stay?" She begged, her voice cracking.
"Okay." He sighed with a grin.
He climbed over her body and under the covers. He was then smothered in a soft embrace by the immortal. He craned his head to look into her gentle eyes and smiled. He gripped her softly to his chest and laughed. She sighed and closed her eyes. After a while he heard her gentle snoring and smiled to himself.
"Even you need protecting sometimes." He whispered sadly. He then leaned over and kissed her flowing mane. It smelled of sweet daisy's and dew.
For the first time in his life he was truly content.
A gentle pressure on her brow woke Celestia. A dark and blurry figure stood over her, bathed in star light, smiling sadly. Celestia blinked in confusion and gaped at the shadowy apparition.
“S…sister?!” she blinked at the lunar angel. Her vision swam into focus and she realized it was no apparition looming before her. Her sister merely nodded and stood a silent sentry to her grieving sister.
“How?… Why? I..I….I’m so sorry…” She managed in a choked whisper. She sighed and felt tears form in her eyes. “I know you're not real but, I have to tell you how sorry I am….I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most…”
Luna said nothing but, her eyes grew sadder at Celestia’s apologies.
“The agony you must have felt….It was all at my hoof. I should have seen Swifts deceit…I felt like Twilight was stealing you from me and I couldn’t bare the thought of being alone again…” Celestia admitted, tears brimming in her amethyst eyes.
Her sister merely continued to stare at her and smile sadly. Is she mocking me, Celestia thought to herself in anguish. Is she happy that I suffered without her? Was her love always just another faked emotion?
“Have you no soul you cowardly spirit?” The white mare growled at the wraithlike princess. “ You come here, dressed in this ghastly attire, mocking my sister and finding glee in my torment…”
The lunar spirit stood unmoving and held the same sad smile on her face, unmoving. Something had changed to Celestia ,though. The creature had lost the twinkle to its eye and its breathing seemed to slow to nothing at all.
“BEGONE! BACK TO THE RIVER WITH YOU UNHOLY BEAST.” She screamed leaping from her lavish bed. “ I WILL NOT HAVE MY DEPARTED SISTER MOCKED IN MY HOUSE!”
Her horn glowed and she tried to send a wave of her aura at the creature to expel it from her sight. The wave of energy merely passed through the creature; It’s smile never wavering. Celestia merely shook her head and sank down to the floor sobbing.
“I’m so weak…” Celestia gasped between raking sobs. “I can’t even protect myself…It should have been me, not you.”
Her eyelids sank shut and she cried into her golden slippers with vigor. She cried for many different reasons, but chief among them was her loneliness. In her millennia’s of rule she had always had her sister by her side. Her very presence helped to fight back the looming emptiness of decay. Now, though, she had no pony and she could feel the darkness creeping into her mind. It crawled just beneath the surface of her mind…serpentine tendrils clinging to her soul. Her sisters apparition was yet another agonizing reminder of her endless punishment.
“Your pain has only just begun, Dear Sister…”
Celestia’s eyes shot open and she stared, slack jawed, at the ghostly being. “Luna” no longer wore the smile, but instead a grave frown. Her eyes glowed with a silvery incandescence that rivaled the torches in the room. Celestia could only stare in muted horror as her sister erupted in a ethereal blaze and rose into the air.
“You claim to feel lonely and abandoned, yet, you are the one who is afraid of emotion. You fear love and you fear loss. You hurt those around you so you will not be hurt. Your selfishness knows no bounds….”
“Yes, and you let your fears and selfishness destroy there lives. For that, I punish you to the one thing you fear the most….you must love, again.”
She cackled wildly and erupted in a dazzling display of light and sound. Celestia only covered her eyes in time to shield herself from the dazzling light . her body morphed and shifted in the light and ,suddenly, exploded.
~*~*~*~
Celestia jumped from her bed gasping from her nightmare. Her fur and bed sheets had become sticky and tangled from her sweating and thrashing in her sleep. Flak lay snoring softly in his sleep, unaware of the princesses distress. She sat there panting, her mind reeling from the dream. She glanced over at the sleeping guard and sighed in frustration. a little bit of drool oozed from the corner of his mouth and he was giggling at something in his dream.
"If you're my punishment then, I suppose it's not so bad?" She sighed.
She glanced out the door towards the moon and thought about what her "sister" had said.
"I punish you to the one thing you fear the most….you must love, again .”
Hate me if it helps, sister, she thought mournfully, but don't ask me to love....
~*~*~*~
Somewhere in that starry night a filly cried and a single mare lay in a grove of trees fighting to breath.
Dinky fidgeted nervously under the guard's stare. She had been taken from the orphanage and told that the princess wished to speak with her. She was nervous but, she wouldn't let her mother's murders know that. She would be brave...brave for her mother. She didn't care...she had nothing left to lose. She started up toward her captors and then towards Celestia's throne. The goddess smiled down at her and motioned for her to move closer. She did as commanded, but did not return the smile.
"My dearest Dinky Hooves. I'm so glad to see the orphanage has treated you well."
'Well?' Dinky thought savagely. "Misery and loneliness have treated me better."
Celestia rose from her throne and advanced toward her. Dinky flinched, reflexively, when the goddess raised her hoof. Celestia barely noticed and wrapped the filly in a hug.
"I'm so sorry for your loss." The Princess muttered into Dinky's ear. " I want you to know that the one responsible for your mothers murder has been dealt with by me, personally."
Dinky gaped at the princess as she was released from their embrace. Dinky's vision went red and she glared at the princess. Celestia, unaware, continued.
"And, from now on, you will live here in my palace. I will raise you as my own daughter."
Celestia smiled and looked down at her new "daughter." Her smile faded when she relized Dinky was not so "enthusiastic". Dinky rose onto her hind legs and slapped Celestia with her forehoof. Tears welled up in the grey filly's eyes.
"You had to have it all...well, have you had enough?" Dinky screamed, tears flowing freely. "You greedy little bastard, you should have let me die too"
Several of the gaurds grabbed her and she thrashed, trying to lunge at Celestia.
"I HATE YOU! I hate you! I hate you...." She sobbed as the guards dragged her away. Celestia rubbed her stinging cheek and stared in bewilderment at the young pony. Dinky shook from her sobs and sank to the floor.
"You will never be my mother...." Dinky muttered from the floor.
Shining Armor motioned for the guards to take her away and ushered the princess back to her throne. She sat there and wondered what she had said. She looked to see that Shining Armor had left and the only pony left was Flak. He didn't move for a time, but finally walked toward the throne. He sighed and stared back towards the direction Dinky had exited through.
"This will take time, but she will come to forgive you. I promise."
"I know, Flak." She admitted in defeat. " She's right though; I can never replace what she has lost."
He nodded and replied.
"You can't raise the dead, but you can comfort the living. She needs time to grieve.....and so do you. So for now I will look after her and you just rest."
He moved to leave and heard something he hadn't expected.
"Thank you for caring. I know I don't deserve your kindness, but thank you."
He froze mid-step and whipped around to face her. He grabbed her face in his hooves and his lips met hers. She blinked and blushed crimson. Flak then broke the kiss and stared into her blinking eyes.
"I always wanted to do that." He smirked. "I see a side to you that everypony seems to ignore. Those drops of sunlight in your hair and those beautiful eyes remind me of the dawn on a cold winters morn. We all have a chance to change and I see that in you."
She stared at him and wondered what the sensation she was feeling was. It was like some small furry creature was tickling her stomach and she felt light headed. He blushed, but his eyes glimmered with unspoken glee. He closed the narrow gap between them and hugged her. She returned the embrace and realized something awful.
She was falling for this pony.
He looked into her eyes and whispered "I will always be here for you, even if you can't see me."
He smiled and nuzzled into her neck and she sighed. Flak stroked her mane softly and laughed.
"You have no idea how much I love you."
She gasped and jerked away. She glared at him, wings flared.
"Leave my presence....NOW!" She yelled at him.
He flinched from her sudden hostility and backed away.
"But.." He started.
"LEAVE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, rising into the air. She could see tears forming in his pained eyes as he turned to leave. The door to the royal chamber shut noiselessly behind him. Celestia sank back into her throne and let her tears flow. She encased herself in her wings and cried herself to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~
"What? He not your type?" Whispered a voice from the darkness.
"Shut up..." Celestia moaned. She sat in a circle of light with blinding darkness all around her. The voice seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once.
"You know....He really does love you." The voice cooed from the darkness.
"Does he? He lies just like all the rest....so why should I care what he feels...." Celestia hissed in rage. She rose and glared into the empty void.
"Oh poor pitiful Celestia. So lonely and misunderstood; If only we could be as brave as you." Mocked the voice. "You runaway like a frightened filly in a thunderstorm. So afraid to open up and love another. I hold no empathy for such a cruel being as you."
"Stop" Celestia moaned, hurt.
An image of Flak crying swam into view before her.
"He is such a good pretender."
"Stop!" The princesses vision blurred at the sight. Fresh tears stained her muzzle.
"I wonder.....if you died would he even care?"
"STOP!!!!! I get it....okay...." She sobbed. She reached her hoof towards her chest. " I love him and I'm so scared that he might leave; Just like my sister and just like my parents. How can I love a mortal when even eternity doesn't last."
From behind the image a mirror appeared. Celestia stared into the mirror and looked at herself. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and her mane was in disarray. Then, the image began to fade and in it's place sat Celestia in a wedding gown with Flak at her side and Dinky holding a bouquet of flowers.
"A mortals life may be fleeting, but the joy they find can last even an eternity. All you have to do is open your heart and stop running away, Celestia" the darkness whispered.
Celestia smiled at the sight and sighed.
"He must hate me now" She breathed, defeated. She lowered her gaze and stared at her golden slippers. Suddenly, a shadow began to form on them. Celestia looked up from her hooves and gasped.
"You rejected me and I still love you." Smiled Discord. She blinked several times and sat in horror at her old foe.
"But...you...frozen...how?" She managed, bewildered.
"Oh, that! the Chrysalis Queen saved me. She is quite lovely. We are to be married soon. I do hope you will come and be my best mare." He smiled, a twinkle in his eye. "I once loved you and you rejected me. Now I stand before you as a monument to your sins. Haven't you had enough of this?"
"I don't know how to love though. What if I hurt him?" The goddess wavered in her resolve.
"You will just have to try....you won't know unless you try?" He laughed. She stared at him and smiled too. He was right.
"It just doesn't seem right that I should find happiness after all the pain I have caused." she admitted, unsure.
"Honor their memory. Your sister only wished for you to finally find your happiness, wherever it might be." Discord said, sagely. "This is your curse, Celestia. Enjoy it as I have mine."
He cackled wildly and burst in a dazzling display of light and sound.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Celestia jerked awake, her wings unfurling. Her sun was raising and sunlight was filtering through the stain glass windows creating beautiful displays on the floor. At the edge of the light slept a silver guard clad in golden armor. His auburn mane shined in the colorful sunlight. He had returned while she slept; always keeping guard over her. She smiled and walked down towards him and lay down.
"Thank you so much." Celestia whispered nuzzling him. She lifted her wing and embraced him."I love you, Flak."
There she slept; letting go of her fears and letting herself feel vulnerable for the first time in millennia.
~*~*~*~*~
(note from the author: If you notice an error don't hesitate to inform me. Also, I will have an image for that last bit in the next week. I want to write a Discord X Chrysalis fic, but I have two others already. bleh ^_^. maybe as an epilogue to this who knows.)
