Discord and Pinkie's Pony Playtime

by FoxMarcello

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1200

A veriety of short stories involving (or st least approved by) Discord and/or Pinkie Pie.

Are you ready for an action packed adventure with romance, betrayal and death? Do you have a craving for an intricate plotline with dozens of sub-plots and intrigue? If so... you should probably look someplace else. This is a collection of short stories hoof-picked by our two favorite bringers of chaos. So sit back, relax, and get ready to smile as Discord and Pinkie Pie present: Discord and Pinkie's Pony Playtime!!

Note: I realize not all chapters fit the "crossover" category, but some might and I put it up just in case. :)

Published 2013-12-13 22:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-13 22:50:04 UTC

Squidcord and Sea-lestia

Discord was bored. This wasn't a strange occurrence since he had decided that friendship was more important than chaos (mostly). But tonight, he was going to be bad. He was going to capture Celestia and refuse to let her go until she agreed to let loose and have some fun for once. So that night, after she'd lowered the sun, he followed her in shadow, looking for an opportunity. He didn't have to wait long, though. Just as Celestia returned from her final duty of the day, she was met by one of her maidservants.

"Your Highness, your nightly bath is ready." A bath, huh? If Celestia were to become a teeny-tiny sea-pony, she would not be able to escape the tub. And an adventure as tiny sea creatures in a bathtub sounded fun.

Discord turned into a fly and followed Celestia to the bathroom. He flew over to the tub when she wasn't looking and dove into the bubbly depths. He wanted to be a funny-looking sea creature, so he decided to take the shape of a tiny octopus. However, at that small a size he couldn't move his stubby little legs. He changed into a squid, so he at least had something to use as hands. Squids looked funnier than octopi anyway. By this point the target was already settled in and completely unsuspecting.

Celestia was pulled into the water with a yelp as she shrunk in size. After a minute or so she was able to compose herself and realize what had just happened.

"Discord, why am I a teeny tiny sea-pony with a snorkel?"

Discord appeared next to her. "Because if you were a teeny tiny sea-pony without a snorkel, you'd get soap in your eyes..."

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Of course," she said, "what was I thinking? But I'm glad you're here." She tapped him on what would normally be his shoulder. "YOU'RE IT!" And with that she sped off in the opposite direction.

It took a minute for Discord to figure out what had just happened. Celestia was goofing off before he even gave his ultimatum. He appeared in front of the speeding sea-pony, only to be hit with a burst of heat as Celestia heated the water to propel herself away with Rainbow Dash-like speed. Did Celestia just... Discord thought, nah! Celestia wouldn't cheat! Would she? She's always so regal and serious and BORING... isn't she?

"Come on, mister 'best at games'," Celestia taunted, "Can’t you catch a tiny sea-pony?"

Discord shrugged and swam after the sea-pony manually, but she still manipulated the water temperature around her to get away. Discord decided to create a slip-stream around himself to make up the difference, in addition to his more hydro-dynamic squid shape. After a while he finally managed to catch the speeding sea-pony.

"Were you just cheating?" Discord asked the giggling princess.

"Of course, silly-filly! Some games are more fun when nopony wins and everypony cheats!"

Discord blinked. If he thought he was blind-sided to see 'Little Miss Grim' having fun without being told, he was wrong. "But... you're boring... it doesn't make sense!"

"Oh, what fun is there in making sense?" Celestia quoted. Discord had to admit, he kind of set himself up for that one... "But seriously," Celestia continued, "is this the first time you've spoken to me during a non-dire situation? I love to have fun, just not while my little ponies are in pain or jeopardy."

"So... If the ponies are okay, Celestia will play?"

Celestia beamed. "That's an excellent way to remember your manners, dear!"

"So," Discord asked "what should we do next?"

Suddenly, Celestia put on a face of mock terror "Uh-oh," she said, "We're in Quacken territory!"

Discord clapped his squid-hands. "OO! What's the Quacken?"

Celestia called forth the beast as Discord pulled his suction-cupped hands apart. Bright yellow and about three inches tall, the Rubbery Quacken towered above them.

Discord gathered some nearby bubbles and formed them into a bubble sword. "CHARGE!!" He charged the beast head-on, sword swinging.

Celestia leapt out of the water, landed on its back with a squeaking sound, and flopped back in the water. "Behold the fowl cry of the evil Quacken!"

"Oh! That was BAD!" Discord laughed. He formed the bubbles on the surface of the water into a scale model of the Crystal Empire and pushed the ducky toward it. "We need to stop it before it reaches the Bubble Empire!"

"The bubble ponies are in danger!" Celestia swam ahead and created some bubble ponies. "Somepony help us!" she shouted, rocking one of them.

Discord was now in bubble armor and riding a bubble steed. "I'll save you!"

The epic battle raged on for hours, with much squeaking and forming of bubble weapons. Celestia stuck to things like cannons and trebuchets, while Discord seemed to favor things like the rat flail and gun-chucks. The beast swayed back and forth until it bumped into the sea-pony.

"I'M HIT!" Celestia proclaimed. "Goodbye, cruel world!" And with that, she relaxed her muscles, floating face-up.

Discord threw his tentacles in the air. "NUUUUUUUU!" he laughed.

***

At about four in the morning, Luna returned home from her adventure in Ponyville. A delightful young unicorn by name of Vinyl Scratch had just thrown a spectacular dance party, with heart-pounding music and all sorts of lights.

Luna had received several souvenirs that glowed of their own accord, without the use of magic! She wanted to make sure she didn't leave any of her new treasures on while she lowered the moon, so she went into the closest room with a mirror: the bathroom.

The lights were on in the bathroom, but the door was open and Luna couldn't see anyone inside, so she figured Tia had left the light on again. Luna stood in front of the mirror, removing makeup that was appropriate for the party, but not for performing royal duties, when she heard a sound coming from the bathtub! She cautiously walked over to the tub, to see it full of ice! And who was skating on that ice but Discord! The tiny draconequus smiled and waved up at her as she giggled. Then, she saw something move in the corner of her eye. Luna looked over to see a small pile of washcloths that seemed to be breathing.

"What is that?" Luna asked.

"That, my dear," Discord said matter-of-factly, "Is a mini sea-pony nestled in pile of warm, wet washcloths. I think she's been asleep since eleven."

"Let me guess, that's Tia." She picked up her little big sister with her magic, but when Tiny Tia was pulled away from the tub, she was changed back into her normal form. The transformation woke Celestia and startled Luna, so they both shrieked as Celestia dropped onto her sister with a painful thud. Discord couldn't stop laughing.

Tia laughed. "Oh, good morning, sister." She stood and helped Luna stand back up. "Sorry, I asked Discord to confine the chaos to the tub." Luna just rolled her eyes. She knew that the real reason Tia wanted Discord to turn good was to have another playmate, and the 'fun' was only beginning.