What do you get when you cross Twilight Sparkle with Rainbow Dash?
Torture and inevitable suicide.
Never in her life had the most awesome pegasus in Equestria considered that she could ever loathe another pony so, let alone one of her closest friends. Never had she been this close to gouging her own eyes out with the very pencil she held in a crushing grip, straining the writing utensil to its breaking point. Never before had she consecutively beat her head against a desk 328 times... 329... 330...
Okay, okay, okay. Rainbow sat up straight in her chair, glaring daggers at the blank page of the notebook resting in front of her. Okay.
"Okie dokie lokie," she muttered aloud. "Blalalalala. Okay. Just... write."
Write what?
"ANYTHING! Just do it already!" Crossing her eyes, she gave the evilest, most hate-filled stare possible at the Dumb Wooden Writing Stick wedged between her teeth. "Well?!"
The object didn't respond, as it was completely incapable of independent movement or thought.
Of course, this didn't stop Rainbow from hurling it out the window to the ground about fifty feet below her house. After a few seconds of silence, a faint crack echoed through the air, and Rainbow grinned smugly. Dumb pencil.
Now that her attention had shifted, she momentarily put aside her recent triumph and recalled a memory from earlier that day, one which happened to be the cause of her current predicament.
"No."
Twilight blinked in surprise. "What?"
"No," Rainbow repeated. "I'm not doing it."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to."
"But..."
"No, Twilight." Turning her back on the alicorn, Rainbow sat down on the floor of the Golden Oaks Library and crossed her hooves over her chest and closed her eyes.
"But Rainbow--"
"NO!"
"Why are you being so stubborn about this?" Rainbow heard quiet hoofsteps as Twilight moved to her side, but she turned her head away.
"I'm not even good at writing, let alone poetry," Rainbow spat out the word; that dreadful, super-egghead word, which left a bad taste in her mouth.
"Well, how are you ever going to get better if you don't practice?"
"I don't need to get better!" Rainbow turned to stare Twilight in the face, annoyance clear in her eyes. "I went to school, I graduated, that's it! I've developed all I need to develop, and I don't feel like wasting any more than the twelve years I've already spent on it!"
"But writing is so much fun!" Twilight's dreamy smile vanished upon seeing the deadpan expression on the pegasus' face, and she tilted her head towards the ground, looking up at her friend with wet eyes and a quivering lip. "Please? For me?"
"Goodbye, Twilight." Rainbow began walking towards the front door, ignoring the pained sigh she heard from behind her.
"I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this..." Twilight mumbled. "Rainbow Dash, I... I order you to write this poem."
Rainbow froze, her front hoof hovering over the doorknob. "You what?"
"I command you, as one of my subjects, to write that poem." Twilight cringed noticeably at the prospect of using her royal powers to control other ponies, but did not break eye contact.
"You... you're joking, right?" Rainbow dropped back to all fours, turning to fully face Twilight.
"No, I'm not." Twilight stamped a hoof on the ground. "You're writing it, and that's final."
Rainbow gaped at her, feeling her wings fall limply to her sides. "I can't believe this."
"Well..." Twilight rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "I mean, don't... I mean..." She flinched away from Rainbow, who let out a loud huff of disbelief. "Well, look at it this way: it's not that much different from a friendship report to Princess Celestia, right? And it's not like it has to be really long." She placed a hoof on her friend's shoulder and gazed into her eyes. "Look, Rainbow. I think this could be really good for you. Writing has always helped me express myself, and I learn new things about myself every day because of that. Couldn't you at least just... just try?"
Rainbow stared at the ground, squinting in thought. If this was really that important to Twilight, maybe she should at least try it, just this once. From what it sounded like, Twilight really did think this would help her, and Rainbow had to admit that her personality sometimes lacked a bit of the substance her friends seemed to demonstrate.
Even if it was all just replaced by awesomeness, anyway.
"Okay, fine," Rainbow sighed. Twilight squealed in delight and gave her a tight hug around the neck before rushing off to another room. She returned moments later with a thin notebook and a pencil floating above her, which she presented to the pegasus proudly.
Rainbow eyed the notebook suspiciously. "If you think I'm going to fill that entire thing with poems, you're gonna be disappointed."
Twilight gave a wry smile as Rainbow warily took the notebook and pencil from her. "We'll see."
"Can I just get this over with right now?" Rainbow asked. Twilight frowned, but nodded, leading her to a desk in a back corner of the library. Rainbow sat in a chair and tossed the notebook on the desk, already trying to come up with a topic for the poem. Speaking of which...
"Hey, Twi, what's this thing supposed to be about, anyway?"
"Well, anything you want, really," Twilight answered, shrugging. "I guess you should try to write about something that truly represents Rainbow Dash."
"Something me, eh?" Rainbow smirked. "I think I can manage that."
"Good!" Twilight turned and made her way to the kitchen, tossing a quick glance back at her. "Have fun!"
"You bet," Rainbow grumbled. Hmmm... something that represents me...
About five minutes later, Twilight was relaxing in the kitchen with a warm cup of tea when the silence was shattered by an excited (and relieved) shout.
"I'VE GOT IT!"
Twilight jolted upright in her chair, nearly flinging the beverage at the ceiling in surprise before she steadied her grip. "Well, seems like she finally had an idea--"
"Yep, and I'm all done!"
This time she actually did throw the teacup at the ceiling.
"AAH! Rainbow!" Twilight pushed the notebook away from her face and glared at the blue pegasus standing behind her. "Warn a mare before you just--wait, what?" She snatched the notebook from Rainbow's hooves and scanned over it. "How could you already be done?"
"Fastest pony in all of Equestria, Twi!"
"Yeah, yeah... Well, let's see what you... wait."
Been dreaming, I've been waiting
to fly with those great ponies
The Wonderbolts, their daring tricks,
spinning round and
Twilight stopped reading and very slowly turned to an anxious Rainbow Dash.
"What?" Rainbow withered under the alicorn's unamused gaze. "It represents me, and you said it could be short..."
Twilight shook her head, breathing out harshly. "Rainbow, I know that this is exactly what you sang at the Grand Galloping Gala. I was literally right there. Do I look stupid to you?"
...
"Get out."
So here she was, sitting at home, cooped-up inside with a blank notebook and an even blanker mind as she struggled to come up with some way to begin.
And to top it off, she no longer had anything to write with.
Stupid poem...
okay
poetry
wow
words and stuff
Soarin' Soaring overhead on bright blue wings
Pushing clouds and doing nothings
I may read books but I'm not an egghead
because I'm awesome and I eat in races i'm always ahead
I don't need good looks or a pretty smile
Cause nopony can match my style
She may be a model but surely you see
Fluttershy's got nothing on me
ugh this is so boring
Twilight i hate you
Ponies try to push me, it has no affect
I push right back, there's a lot more affect
Their blown away by the force of my affect
I can't think of another word that ryme rhymes with affect
dumb poem
All are in awe at my awesomeness
I also got coolness and radicalness
There's no one else anypony'd rather be
Rainbow Dash is best pony
Twilight blinked, using her magic to slowly turn the page, both hoping and dreading that there would be more; however, the next page was blank. ...That's it? She looked up at the rainbow-maned pegasus seated in front of her, who was ruffling her wings uncomfortably and doing her best to avoid eye contact.
"So?"
After a short pause, Twilight loudly cleared her throat. "Um..."
"Uh-huh, I see. What's wrong with it?"
Twilight rubbed her face, groaning as she searched for a way to put it nicely. "It's just too... you."
"You said it was supposed to represent me!"
"Yes, but..." Twilight pinched the bridge of her nose. "It was supposed to be about something you felt best represented you, not actually about you. I guess I wasn't very clear on that."
Rainbow leered at her, and Twilight cringed, waiting for an 'I told you so' to smack her in the face. "So, in other words: 'it sucks, it was a total waste of time, I'm so sorry for forcing you into it, Rainbow?'"
Yep, there it was.
"Well, no--" She hesitated, choosing her words carefully. "It's... a good start..." She gulped and looked down at the mess of words that, in her opinion, couldn't rightfully be called poetry. Returning her gaze to her friend, she failed to stop her left ear from twitching rapidly. "In the future, you don't have to make everything rhyme. Rhyme scheme sometimes restricts the flow of a poem because you're limited to a certain range of words. And if you decide to do so, you can't rhyme a word with itself. There were quite a few mechanics issues you should work on as well; other than that, it was..." She coughed. "...a commendable effort."
Rainbow narrowed her eyes. "I'm not writing any more poems, Twilight; I told you that already. I did what you asked. I'm done. Finished. Déjà vu."
"That's not what that means."
"Whatever!" Rainbow threw her hooves up with a snort. "Point is, I did the assignment. Can we just go back to being normal, not-writing-buddies-anymore friends?"
Twilight sighed, glancing disappointedly at the scrawlings in the notebook before closing her eyes. "Fine."
"Sweet." Rainbow stood and stretched her wings, turning towards the front door of the library. "Well, I gotta get going. You know, clouds to take care of, and all that."
"Oh, wait," Twilight called. She grabbed the notebook with her magic, holding it out under Rainbow's nose. "Keep the notebook. You might need it for something."
"Alright." Rainbow tucked the notebook under a wing and trotted out the door. "Thanks, Twi, see ya later."
"Bye, Rainbow."
After kicking the last of the clouds from the sky, Rainbow glided lazily over Ponyville, relishing the warmth of the setting sun. She turned to admire the streaks of orange and pink with a contented smile on her face, eventually snapping to attention again and landing on the front porch of her cloud home.
Once inside, she fixed herself a quick snack, bringing it into her bedroom. Her focus was suddenly caught by the thin notebook resting on her bed, which she had deposited there after visiting the library earlier. Rolling her eyes, Rainbow pushed it to the foot of the bed and chuckled as she sat back against the pillows, quickly scarfing down some hay chips from the bag next to her. C'mon Twilight, you shoulda known that poetry isn't my thing.
...
Not that I can't write good poetry, or anything, she thought with a frown. Her eyes settled once again on the notebook, observing it cautiously, as though it would jump up and bite her at any second. I totally could... you know, if I wanted to. She looked past it, letting her gaze drift to the window, where the sunset was at its finest, casting glorious beams of multicolored light across the sky.
Right?
A few weeks later, Twilight was busily reshelving books when a loud bump came from the front door. The alicorn trotted over to it and opened it, revealing a dazed Derpy Hooves sprawled out on the ground. She reached up with a shaking hoof clutched around a thin, rectangular parcel, trying to stop her eyes from spinning. "Package for you," she slurred, letting her arm go limp after Twilight had taken it from her.
"Derpy, are you alright?" Twilight asked, helping the mailmare to her unsteady hooves. "Do you need to come inside for a moment?"
"No, I'm good," Derpy reassured her. "Thanks anyway, though."
"Okay. Have a good day!" The two ponies waved to each other as Derpy took off, continuing on her delivery route. Twilight backed inside the library and shut the door, wondering about the contents of the package. Sitting down on the couch, she tore open the wrapping and blinked in confusion.
The notebook she had given to Rainbow weeks before stared back at her, though now the word "Poetry" was written in black ink with surprising neatness on the front cover. Above it were the scratched-out words "Amazingly Awesome," as well as a small doodle of Rainbow Dash's cutie mark. Her curiosity building, Twilight opened it to the first page.
Being the ever-observant Twilight Sparkle, the first thing that caught her eye were the sloppy frills tangled in the notebook's binding, left behind from what appeared to be two missing pages. Finally, she let her eyes trail across the first remaining page, and her eyes widened.
Okay Sparkle,
I'll try.
Sunset
Just as the daylight hours seem spent,
the radiant sun begins it's dissent descent.
the sky becomes a spectrum of hues
from fiery reds to watery blues.
Clouds glow with the dying light
like their they're capturing it for use that night.
Pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies alike
wait in antissepation antes waiting for darkness to strike.
The sun screams out with red streaks of fear
crying for help as its death draws near.
Soon enough it meets its doom
and is replaced by the night's black cloak of gloom.
Everything is invisible, lost in the shade
even th Colts and Fillies are sent to bed feeling betrayed.
The moon basks in the glory of its kill
leaving timberwolves howling, and all else to remain still.
Twilight fell back against the couch cushions, staring into space. What did I just read? Blinking rapidly, she weakly tried to close her jaw, which had dropped like a ton of lead. This couldn't have been written by Rainbow Dash... there's just no way. I mean, it's no Shakesmare, but... this is just... I...
She let out a shaky breath, unaware that she had been holding it. But Dash... how? How did she...? I mean, such vivid imagery... and the rhymes actually rhymed! Even her mechanics have improved, to an extent. It reeks of... effort? She mulled the prospect over, calling to mind Rainbow's promise from the previous page. Wow... she really did try...
Her thoughts trailing off, she numbly turned the page and felt a jolt of surprise upon seeing another mass of words. She turned to the next page, and the next, and the next... finding all of them tattooed with paragraphs she uncomprehendingly scanned over in haste. The entire notebook was filled with works of art just waiting to be discovered, and Twilight quickly averted her eager gaze. Ack! No spoilers!
Softly closing the notebook, the alicorn lay it across her lap, her face devoid of emotion. What now? She glanced uncomfortably at the notebook. Dare I continue right away? I rarely have the chance to indulge myself with a new poem... I should savor this moment. Don't just blaze through these, Twilight--analyze them. Experience them. Connect to the artist.
She bit her lip, staring excitedly at the cover of the poetry book. It was drawing her in, teasing her; Read me, it seemed to say. Enjoy me. Be one with me.
Twilight shook her head. What the...? Oh, to Tartarus with it.
"Reading binge!" She squeed. "I'm gonna make some popcorn!" And with that, she leapt to her hooves and scampered into the kitchen, leaving a fit of giggles in her wake.
