Forever Yours

by Lucefudu

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Bon-Bon, Tragedy, Sad, Lyra
Length: 8940

Bon Bon tries to cope with the death of her love, Lyra.

Revision scheduled for 2013!

Tragedy is always hard to cope with. After the accident, Bon Bon feels that a piece of her died alongside with the mare she loved. Now guilt-struck, Bon Bon just wants to spend the rest of her life alone, inside her house... blissfully unaware of the deeper connection she shares with it.

[Cover image by raikoh14]

Published 2012-03-14 00:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-14 00:44:01 UTC

Story

Bon Bon found herself sitting on a park bench alongside with Lyra in a wintry afternoon. After a pleasant day of working on her confectionery products, all the cream-coated mare wanted to do was spend some quiet time with her. Bon Bon couldn’t help but feel her heart fluttering whenever Lyra was around; the way her golden eyes glimmered, the way her minty coat rustled when hit by a gentle breeze, the way she spoke with her.

After spending most of their time together playing around in the ivory snow, both mares had decided to give the playing a rest, prompting the creamy earth pony to suggest that they should watch the sunset together. To make the event even more special, she decided to prepare one cup of hot chocolate for each, so they could drink it whilst appreciating the scenery that would unfurl before them.

The slightest breeze passed through both mares, making them shiver slightly and tighten their grasp around their plastic cups. The sun shone ever-so brightly upon the distance, but a thin layer of resilient snow still partially covered the grass and the trees in the park.

“Gosh, Bon Bon. This hot chocolate is simply amazing,” Lyra said as she took a careful sip from her beverage, right after blowing off the molten chocolate and prompting thin threads of steam to erupt from it. “By Celestia herself! This is really good!”

Bon Bon couldn’t help but giggle a little bit, feeling the compliment make her soft, cream cheeks burn in a crimson tone. “Why, thank you, Lyra. Just be sure to drink it slowly, so you won’t bur-”

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Bah dongue!” Lyra yelped as she took a greedy gulp from the cup, causing her to spit the fuming liquid. She fanned her forehooves, trying desperately to cool her aching tongue.

“You silly filly!” the beige pony said, hiding just a bit of concern in her gentle voice. “Let me take a look at it...” The mint unicorn turned her head to her and opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out. “It’s not so bad,” she said, tapping Lyra on the shoulder. “You really need to be more careful!”

“Heh... guess I do...” she said sheepishly, rubbing a forehoof against the back of her head.

“Come here.” Bon Bon pulled her clumsy marefriend near her and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. “Feel better?” she asked as she felt her heart pleasurably pounding against her chest.

Lyra blushed and nodded slowly in response, prompting the cream pony to smile even wider. “Thanks,” she said and lowered her head, resting it on Bon Bon’s elbow, giving out a comfortable sigh.

The mares remained in complete silence for some minutes, watching the setting sun.

“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” Lyra asked, breaking the pleasant silence. The earth pony looked down to her, noticing her wide eyes that gazed onto the bright orange clouds that were slowly turning to a crimson red.

“You,” she replied as she lovingly nuzzled the unicorn’s forelock. The mint mare’s only response was to turn her head, looking directly into Bon Bon’s sapphire eyes and inch closer, drawing her into a passionate kiss. Once again, the beige pony felt her heart thump against her chest as a strangely pleasant warmth spread from it.

The kiss, however, was quickly interrupted by Lyra, who got up from the park bench and playfully licked Bon Bon’s muzzle, before trotting away from her. An expression of pure surprise was plastered onto the beige mare’s face as she saw her marefriend giggling in the distance.

“Hey, Bon Bon!” Lyra yelled, waving one forehoof to her. “I’ll race you to that little hill over there!” Bon Bon’s quizzical expression quickly turned into a decisive one. The mare got up from the bench and trotted after Lyra, who kept a slow pace so she could catch up. Once they were side by side, they playfully bumped into each other as they headed towards the small, snow-covered hill. As they were slowly nearing it, Bon Bon gave her marefriend a decisive look and picked up on her speed; breaking into a full gallop. She heard the sounds of a tired, struggling unicorn frantically trying to keep up with her and smirked. She knew that earth ponies were more physically built than unicorns.

Upon reaching the top of the hill, she let out an overjoyed yell. “I won!” Without turning around, she heard the mint unicorn still struggling to reach her. “Well, Lyra,” she bragged, “looks like you’ll be the one to clean-” she trailed off when she turned around and opened her eyes.

The sounds of her marefriend galloping after her were still there, but the mint unicorn was nowhere to be seen. Bon Bon was shocked when she acknowledged that the sounds didn’t seem to be approaching nor distancing themselves from her. The wind picked up in speed and felt like jagged knives being thrust against her skin; her coat offering no protection against it.

“Lyra?” she called out, but the only answers received were soft, ghost-like giggles that seemed to echo from all around her, carried by the soul-chilling wind. She yelped as she heard those sounds. Her heart began to beat faster against her chest; the pleasant sensation she felt before was completely lost, making way for painful, oppressing thuds.

‘Something’s wrong... where’s Lyra?’ she asked herself. She inhaled deply in order to scream her marefriend’s name, but as she opened her mouth, an ear-shattering scream cut her short, prompting her heart to skip a beat.

Her eyes began to glimmer with tears, blurring her vision, but that wasn’t enough to stop her from noticing the sudden changes around her. The sky had changed; it no longer bore the orange and red glimmers of the setting sun. Instead, it was a constant shade of blood-red, filled with thunderous dark clouds.

But the sky wasn’t the only change; a thick fog began to form, covering the entire area surrounding the mare, obscuring her vision of the little Ponyville in the distance. The only things visible to her were the ominous clouds, the red sky and the thick ghost-like fog.

“Lyra… p-please. This isn’t funny!” she pleaded as her body shook with terror. The beige pony felt each breath she drew in bringing forth a jagged pain that burned her lungs. “LYRA, PLEASE!” she screamed. “WHERE ARE YOU?!”

The chilling wind picked up its speed even more, almost throwing her off of her hooves. She heard more ghostly giggles that were soon followed by a distorted but joyful voice that seemed to emanate from all around. “I’m right here, Bon Bon. Follow my hoofsteps.” She froze when she heard the strange voice that sounded much alike Lyra’s. She looked around herself frantically and, when she looked down she saw small hoof-made impressions forming on the snow before her.

Each impression on the snow began to fill itself with a red liquid, turning themselves into red, rust-smelling pools. She shook her head in disbelief. ‘No… this isn’t happening. This can’t be happening!’ she thought, watching the small impressions forming.

She reluctantly followed the trail of red pools, which led her to a small hole on the ground, covered with snow all around it. Every step she took towards the hole made her stomach more and more upset as the smell of putrid flesh invaded her nostrils. With each step her hooves felt as if they were made of iron as she walked against the oppressing wind. When she neared the hole, Bon Bon heard another giggle; this one sounding like the voice she heard previously.

She stopped mere inches away from the hole, nauseated with the horrid smell that invaded her nostrils. She didn’t dare to look inside of it, fearful of the truth. As she turned around to back away as quickly as possible from the hole, the voice made her slip and fall.

“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to see me!” it said, laughing afterwards. The creamy earth pony furrowed her brows, shutting her eyes tightly and placing her forehooves in front of them.

“No! NO! STOP IT!” she begged, but the laughter continued to reverberate through her whole being. Bon Bon got on her four hooves; still keeping her eyes closed and dared a step forward. Unbeknownst to her, one of her forehooves slipped and, in panic, she opened her eyes.

She saw that her hoof had almost slipped inside of the hole, but she also saw more than that; the hole was filled with jagged rocks and at the bottom lay a bloodied corpse with its legs twisted and bent in unnatural angles. Through the blood that seemed to be smeared all over the pony below, she was able to see the light-green coloration of its coat.

“Lyra...” she muttered, feeling herself being pulled to the ground. After allowing her body to fall limply onto the snow, she placed her shaking hooves on each side of her head and broke down in tears. “No… Lyra…” Whilst she cried, a terrified screech echoed in the air, prompting the earth pony to open her eyes in shock.

She saw Lyra’s body starting to shake violently, gurgling whilst doing so. The sounds of bones snapping resonated in her brain, as a migraine made its way into her skull, prompting her to press her hooves harder against her head. She screamed with everything her lungs were able to provide, but her pounding headache made it impossible for her to hear her own screams. Through the tears in her eyes, she saw Lyra’s twitching body slowly climbing the hole’s steep, rocky walls.

“What’s wrong, Bon Bon?” it asked, subtly lifting its own head -- eliciting a loud snap from her neck -- turning its white, hollow gaze to meet the earth pony’s eyes. The bloodied pony resumed her ascend, gurgling and spitting blood and a black, oozing liquid that stuck to the jagged rocks. Bon Bon began to hit herself on the head with her forehoof, trying to force the migraine out from her brain.

As the cadaver climbed the hole, its hind leg got stuck between two pointy rocks. Disregarding her immobilized limb, it kept on trying to make its way to the top. The earth pony watched as it placed its forehooves upon two rocks standing beside her and forced them to pull out her hind leg. The bone snapped seconds before the skin began to rip, eliciting a howl of agony from the corpse.

Bon Bon felt her strength leaving her and she collapsed backwards, unable to move or make a sound. The headache produced a ringing sound on her head and she was sure that her ears were bleeding. She heard as Lyra made its way up the hole, laughing to her heart’s content as she reached the top of it. The cream pony’s muscles clenched when she felt the touch of a hoof upon herself; she realized that the corpse was slowly climbing on top of her.

Through her immovable eyes, she saw a mint-colored pony face to face with her. Its coat and skin missing some chunks, droplets of blood and black ooze dripped on her and stained her coat. It placed both its forehooves on each side of the earth pony’s head and lowered its head near to hers. Although many thing rushed through her mind at that time, one stuck out amongst the many; the smell of rotten flash and rusty iron.

“You silly little filly,” was all that Bon Bon heard before Lyra twisted her forelegs, snapping her neck.

* * *

Bon Bon’s eyes snapped open and instantly held her hooves to her neck as she gasped for air. The air infiltrating her lungs soothed the burning sensation in her chest, but her heart kept pounding against it. She sat up from the couch and took the time to acknowledge her surroundings. She was in her home, but the whole place felt foreign to her; ever since it had happened, nothing was the same for her. Smells lost their scents, objects lost their colors and life lost its meaning.

She gazed through the window only to see thundering storm clouds cover the sky in the distance. Rain and hail splattered against the window as the wind randomly and violently shifted its course. She sighed wearily.

‘It has been two weeks since my life was... taken from me...’ she thought as she got up from Lyra’s armchair. Her eyes wandered aimlessly about the once happy room she and Lyra used to occupy every day. The dark clouds on the stormy sky greatly obstructed the sun’s rays, but the room she was in felt darker than it should.

As the memories of her dream began to surface, the mare wasn’t strong enough to contain her emotions. Placing both her forehooves upon her face, she began to sob silently. Her sobs echoed through the living room, making her sound even more pitiful; everything that she did these days was sleep, wake up and cry in the interim. A noise around the house broke her trance. Her ears perked up and she controlled her sobbing, standing still on the couch in order to better hear the source of the noise.

“Hoofsteps…?” she muttered, both curious and a little frightened as to the origin of the sounds; she was the only pony in the house. Once again, she heard the quick pacing of hooves and, this time she was able to tell that they came from somewhere above her. When she got up from the couch to investigate, a soul-piercing screech, followed by the noise of something breaking got her attention. Her head instantly turned around to face the direction which the new sound came from, but she waited until her heart had calmed down before proceeding..

She hesitantly walked towards the kitchen; the slow hoofsteps barely making a sound against the wooden floor. Once she stepped into the kitchen area, her eyes widened and she gasped in horror. She caught the fleeting glimpse of shadows, moving frantically and hiding themselves under common household utensils. Her coat’s fur bristled at the eerie sight.

She brought a hoof to her mouth and coughed; the air in this room seemed thicker than usual. The kitchen’s normal look was now gone. Every step she took lifted up small specks and dust, which glided lazily in the still air. As she walked slowly around the kitchen, she kept looking around, trying to find the source of the noise. She emitted a yelp of surprise when she felt something cool beneath her hooves. She quickly lift her forehoof and looked down. On the ground stood shattered a decorative plate, a gift from Lyra on her birthday.

The memento was a simple white plate with its edges painted purple. She noticed that something was written on it and brought the broken pieces together. When she was done putting each piece in their position, she read the golden letters inscribed inside the red, burning heart.

Your happiness is all I’ll ever need. ~Lyra.

Bon Bon held back the tears forming in her eyes, silently berating herself for forgetting about something so precious; she never before took the time to truly admire this present. Biting her lip, she looked away from the plate; away from her tormenting memories. She noticed bright spots on her vision began to form and grow, but after rubbing her eyes, trying to rid herself of them, it was with shock that she realized that they were not forming in her eyes.

As the fog-like whiteness began to gently envelop her she felt scared of its unknown nature and strange appearance. Kicking and flailing her hooves about, she tried to fight against whatever it is that was surrounding her. But the fear quickly left her mind as the whiteness made her feel a strange, but comfortable warmth. When fully covered, she felt herself being pulled towards the mysterious white, soothing light, allowing it to take her completely.

* * *

“Bon Bon, this soup is delicious!” Lyra said, excitedly. “I swear to Celestia that you must be the best cook in all of Ponyville!” She hungrily poured more soup into her own bowl. The cream-coated earth pony stood bemused at how much her best friend was able to eat.

‘I wonder how Lyra can eat so much and still maintain that beautiful body of hers.’ Bon Bon thought while admiring the mint unicorn before her. Oblivious to her marefriend’s stare, Lyra finished yet another bowl of soup and pushed it to the side with a hoof. “Oh my Celestia. I don’t think I’ll ever eat again,” she said tapping her forehoof on her belly. Her head turned to face the earth pony. “Bon Bon, are you alright?”

“Well, why wouldn’t I be?” she said, her gaze was still fixed at the unicorn.

“You… You’re blushing,” Lyra said, blushing a little herself. Her remark made the earth pony quickly shift on her seat and look elsewhere. Both felt too embarrassed to say anything else, so silence reigned for a few moments, making the kitchen’s clock the only source of noise in the room.

“Ly-”

“Bon Bon I...”Lyra said, cutting her. “I need to tell you something.” She bit her lip in anxiousness.

“What?” the earth pony asked, not sure about what was going on. Her heart picked up the pace as the mare thought about what was going to happen.

“We’ve been friends for so long, Bon Bon.” Lyra blushed more intensely, unable to maintain eye contact with her, whose heart began to pound heavily against her chest when she heard those words; she knew where the mint unicorn was leading her. “I feel that... if there’s anypony out there that I can trust, that pony is you.” The unicorn looked up to her and gave her a weak sheepish smile before lowering her head once more. “You were so nice to me when I first came from Canterlot…”

Lyra’s words died there and for another few seconds, the room was plunged into silence. The cream mare’s heart was pounding vigorously against her chest as she mentally pleaded the unicorn to go on. Few seconds passed before the mint unicorn smiled and faced her once more. “What I’m trying to say, Bon Bon is that…” Her heart fluttered pleasantly in her chest; she could feel her throat becoming dry with anticipation. “I… I…” Lyra looked up and locked her gaze with the earth pony’s.

“I think I love you, Bon Bon.”

* * *

Bon Bon slowly opened her eyes, feeling the relief that washed her slip by her being. She realized that she was back at the living room, sitting onto the same couch she was before the hoofsteps first startled her. The joyful memories weren’t enough to overcome the eerie feeling that being in the dark room brought her.

She was puzzled as to how she came back to the living room; a quick look around the place showed a portion on the floor dustless. She passed her hoof on her back and when she looked upon it, her coat’s fur promptly stood up as goosebumps coldly travelled down her spine. ‘Something... something dragged me back!’

She looked incredulously to her forehoof, staring at the dark specks of dust that now covered it. Her heart was still racing then she heard the noisy hoofsteps again. These were also coming from somewhere above where she was at, but closer. She also noticed that they were calmer and heavier than before, like a pony was staggering on the second floor.

‘I’m really going to regret this…’ she mentally berated to herself as she got up from the couch and slowly walked towards the stairs. With each step she climbed, she felt more and more uncomfortable as the air became unnaturally thicker. To add up to her situation, with each step she took, small clouds of dust erupted from the floor, prompting her to cough repeatedly.

She made her way through the creaky stairs and reached the second floor. Trying to hear any out-of-place sounds, she stood still for a moment, but the hoofsteps had ceased before she began to climb the stairs. But the corridor she was in wasn’t devoid of sound; she could hear somepony wailing in one of the four doors on the corridor. The sound made her blood freeze, making her aching heart burn even intensely.

The wails had made her muscles clench themselves; couldn’t bring herself to walk forward, but she couldn’t bring herself to rush down the stairs and out of that house either. The wailing didn’t cease like the loud screech that came from the kitchen. Whoever it was, it seemed like it was in a great deal of pain.

Forcing her mind and her muscles to cooperate, she reluctantly walked forward. Three out of the four doors were bent in strange angles, almost as if something from within them had tried to smash them down, trying to get out. Tiny wood splinters could be seen before each door, mixed with the unnatural dust that had accumulated in her house. Bon Bon tried to turn the doorknob on the first door -- a dented one -- but she found out that she couldn’t even turn it.

‘Well, I guess that the other broken ones aren’t opening either…’ she thought as she walked towards the last door available, noting that the wailing was becoming louder and louder with each passing moment.

The sound of something smashing against wood startled her, and she quickly turned her head to see what where the noise came from. The three bent doors were bulging violently; splinters and dust were thrown with each bash on the door and the doorknobs were also turning and shaking violently. Somepony or something was definitely trying to get out. The beige pony froze for a moment when she noticed that the subtle wailing had turned into a louder, painful howling.

Her mind began to race; she didn’t want to get into that room and confront whatever it was that was crying, but she didn’t want to stay longer into that haunted corridor. She quickly turned her head and galloped towards the last door in the corridor, turning the doorknob in front of her. Much to her dismay, the door didn’t bulge even an inch.

The sounds of the banging doors became louder and more aggressive, and were added with scratching sounds on the floor and ceiling. Bon Bon’s lungs burned intensely as the panic invaded her mind. She shifted all her weight and concentrated it on the door, trying to pry it open.

The door before her abruptly opened, making her to fall inside the room. She quickly got up on her hooves and shut the door, pressing her body once again against it. Closing her eyes in relief, she gasped for air and tried to compose herself. She noticed that all the sounds were gone, but the sudden silence made her almost wish for something to hear to, even if it were the banging on the corridor’s doors.

Resentfully, she opened her eyes and looked around the room she was in. The bedroom was in a much worse condition than the previous hallway; old grew on the corners where the ceiling and the walls met and a thicker layer of dust covered everything inside the room. Everything except for the bed.

She walked about the room, her hoofsteps making creaking noises against the wooden floor, and stopped when she neared the bed. The contrast of the impeccable bed against the dusty, moldy room was unnerving. As she began to inspect the bed, she gasped when she saw small moist marks form on the pillow, seemingly growing out of it. The liquid quickly accumulated into a pool and began to stream down the pillow, making the mattress damp.

A loud scream emanating from outside the room made her look at the door intensely. Seconds passed with the mare controlling her breathing in order to remain quiet; making her lungs burn with the lack of oxygen. When she deemed the situation safe once more, she turned around and nearly fell to the ground from the sight before her.

The part of the mattress had a impression on it; a pony’s one. From the size, she could tell that it was a little filly. Bon Bon stood there, completely paralyzed at the sight before her. She heard a quiet whimper, which was soon followed by a crimson, rust-smelling fluid leaking from somewhere around the filly’s lower midsection.

Just as the blood had reached her thighs, the creamy mare began to feel that same whiteness that enveloped her in the kitchen once more. This time she didn’t try to fight it, allowing the whiteness to come and surround her completely, bringing forth the pleasant sensation and taking her away from the disturbing scene.

* * *

“Lyra… I’m a bit nervous…” a blushing Bon Bon said. “It’s the first time I do anything like this…”

“It’s alright, Bonnie,” the minty unicorn replied as she gently nuzzled her marefriend’s mane. “We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” she said, looking at her deep in the eyes and with a sincere smile on her face.

“I’m s- sorry. I- I don’t know what’s gotten into me… I hope you don’t hate me,” she said, huddling up near Lyra, burying her own face in her chest and allowing the tears to flow freely from them.

“You don’t need to cry,” Lyra pointed out and lifted Bon Bon’s face with her hoof. “I’m not going to hate you or love you less just because you feel uncomfortable about it. I just wanted to understand what’s wrong so I can help you,” she explained with a concerned smile.

“I d- don’t kn- know,” she said in-between sobs. “I l- like to be near y- you! I like to f- f- feel you… I r- r- really want to do this but…” she trailed off, the emotion overwhelming her completely. “I am s- scared, Lyra! I can’t cont- t- trol it.” She slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry…”

“Shhhh.” Lyra planted a gentle hoof over her mouth, silencing her. “It’s alright.” She lovingly massaged the cream mare’s back with her left forehoof. “I’m here; you don’t have to be afraid. I will always protect you.”

“A- always?” Bon Bon looked up to meet Lyra’s eyes, which were also streaming with tears.

“Always!”

* * *

Bon Bon once again found herself in the living room, on the same couch as before. Opening her eyes, she gasped when she realized that the whole living room was completely destroyed. Chairs, tables and other decorations lay broken on the floor, scattering glass shards and splinters everywhere.

The mold that she found on her bedroom was now present in the living room, but it wasn’t green anymore. The mold was pitch-black; it pulsated and oozed as if it breathed. It covered every corner in the room she was in, making the air damp and her lungs burn with each air intake. Once again, the noise of hoofsteps brought Bon Bon to attention.

She disregarded their existence and instantly got to her hoofs, galloping towards the front door. ‘I’m not spending another minute in this house!’ she thought as she placed her hoof on the doorknob which stood between her and her freedom from this nightmare. She turned the dooknob and pulled it, but the door didn’t move.

“What!?” the infuriated mare screamed. “Oh, that’s it!” She looked around her, trying to come up with some sort of plan. Her eyes shifted from the remains of the destroyed furniture to the window. With a decisive grin plastered across her face, she proceeded to pick a sturdy piece of wood from the pile of trashed furniture and trotted towards the window.

“If I don’t have a way out, I’ll make a way out,” she said as she eyed the world beyond her window. The stormy landscape didn’t sound inviting, but she figured that anything would be better than spending another minute in that house. Furrowing her brows, she placed one forehoof against her eyes in order to shield them. With the other, she threw the piece of wood towards the glass window, which smashed and sent little shards flying everywhere, scattering all around her.

When she opened her eyes her heart began to race as she felt goosebumps travelling through her whole body. ‘No… It’s not possible…’ she thought in utter disbelief. Her muscles tensed -- prompting the piece of wood to fall limply to the floor below -- and her jaw dropped. Her eyes began to tear up and she felt all her hopes abandon her.

Beyond the shattered window stood nothing; pitch-black, pure darkness. The sounds of the thunderstorm were now completely absent; in fact, the only sound in the whole house was her frantic breathing. “No… No!” she said, hitting herself with her forehoof. “This is a nightmare! I have to wake up!” But no matter the amount of self-inflicted pain could change the mare’s predicament.

The sound of feminine giggling startled the cream pony once more. No matter how often the unnatural sounds came, she just couldn’t get used to them. Once again, she reluctantly followed the giggling sounds towards the stairs. When she began to walk towards the second floor, she noticed that the state of stairs was worse than before. Some steps were missing while others were bent inwards, like something massive came down upon them. The thick moldy air only worsened with each step the mare took towards the second floor.

Coughing from the damp air, she reached the top of the stairs. The second floor was in a much worse state than the living room. The doors were completely destroyed; massive piles of wood splinters in their place. There were also wooden splinters encrusted on the walls opposite to the doors, as if the doors had exploded. Bon Bon looked inside each room, but the same darkness that coated the outside of her window didn’t allow her to inspect any further.

She walked slowly through the hallway, not sure where exactly she needed to go. A chilly breeze passed by the mare, making her hind legs falter and shiver. A subtle movement on the other end of the hallway caught her attention; a small string with a wooden ball tied to its end flicked lazily from side to side. Her eyes followed the string to its origin and reached a trapdoor in the ceiling. She jumped when she heard the rushed hoofsteps resonate on the wooden ceiling above her.

‘I just know that something bad will happen...’ she gloomily thought. The mental debate on whether she should try and open the front door or go up the trapdoor kept going on until the folding attic ladder abruptly opened, making her gasp and instinctively jump backwards. The creaky noise of the ladder unfolding echoed through the room, filling the house completely. The small shockwave made the layer of dust suspend itself on the air which, mixed with the already moldy and humid air, made Bon Bon cough more furiously than before. Each intake of the humid, filthy air made both her lungs and throat burn and head pound heavily against her forehead.

As she slowly made her way towards the stairs, she couldn’t help but feel watched. When she neared it, she tested its sturdiness with both forehooves, shifting her weight and forcing it onto the first board of the stairs. They weren’t in their best conditions, but she deemed it safe for climbing. She proceeded to climb the stairs with an unnatural calmness; she could already guess what was going to happen. Each step she took towards the dark attic creaked with an almost unreal intensity; resonating against the walls, as if her hooves were made of iron. The air was now literally heavy; its presence made itself known not only in her aching lungs, but on her body as a whole; she felt physically constricted.

She reached the top of the stairs, but didn’t rush blindly in the dark attic; she slowly peeked inside it. Except for the grayish wooden boards all over the place, the attic was in a much better condition than the rest of the house. The thick layer of dust was missing, along with the dark mold. She noticed that it was also almost completely devoid of furniture, which was strange since the attic was the place she and Lyra stuffed old furniture and boxes into.

Only one big, full-body mirror stood in a corner, facing away from the mare. The repetition of this whole situation made her snap. “Yes, now I’ll go near the mirror, have some other happy memory thrown into my face and wake up in the living room, only for the madness to repeat itself!” she said to nopony in particular and sighed.

‘It’s not fair… these happy memories are good but for one thing; make me devastated at the thought that I’ll never be able to enjoy them again.’ With wary steps, she approached the mirror and looked at her reflection. Bon Bon was a total mess; her coat was duller, almost pale; her eyes were bloodshot and had gray bags under them; her mane and tail were completely ruined. She felt damaged just by looking at herself.

The sound of something falling grabbed her attention, making her turn in order to face what caused the disturbance. She looked over the room, trying to find the source of the noise. Minutes of absolute silence passed but she didn’t dare moving even an inch. Only her eyes meticulously scanned the room, looking for anything out of place.

After breathing an annoyed sigh, the mare turned around and looked in the mirror. Her eyes grew wide and her pupils overly dilated; making even the dull attic light hurt her eyes. Her blood instantly became colder and her extremities began to feel numb. She could hear her own frantic heartbeats. Instinct commanded her to hold her breath, devoting her brain and muscles of the much needed oxygen.

In the mirror she saw something standing next to her. There, wrapped in shadows, was an earth pony, whom looked just like herself. She could see the shadow lifting one hoof and gently caressing her mane. Her back arched when she felt the shadow’s cold touch. Bon Bon’s whole body was burning by now; every nerve that was deprived of oxygen sent painful impulses to her brain, but she kept holding her breath against her will.

She saw amorphous shadows forming, twisting, convulsing in the corners of the room. They quickly crawled towards her, but the shadow that resembled herself glared furiously with its white eyes towards them; making the smaller shadows form a perimeter around the mare and the shadow. The mare collapsed limply on the floor, her vision getting blurrier and darker as her consciousness faded.

* * *

Bon Bon gasped for air and held a hoof over her racing heart. She frantically looked around to assure herself she was out of that nightmarish realm, but to her panic, she still found herself on the attic. She could see that the shadows were still moving around the corners of the room, appearing to her through her normal vision, not bothering with the reflection anymore.

The dark mold seemed to find its way inside the attic, and the heavy air was now taking a heavier toll on the mare. She gazed upon the mirror and noted something eerie about its reflection. She moved closer trying to inspect it further, but its surface was completely obscured by a thick layer of dust. She walked towards it and cleaned the dust from its surface, staining the pale coat of her forehoof. A sudden lightning bolt on the outside provided enough light for Bon Bon to discern what the dark form the mirror reflected was. She saw a mint-colored pony dangling from side to side, a thick rope attached to her neck on one end and to the ceiling’s rafter on the other.

The mirror shattered at the same time a dark, rasp laughter erupted from somewhere inside the house, making the mare slip in terror and fall to the floor. It was different from everything she had heard that day; it sounded masculine, dragged and slump. The glass shards slashed her face on several places, but she was quick enough to shield her eyes with a forehoof.

She instantly got up and galloped outside the attic, her only thought was that she had to escape that house. She galloped downstairs with everything her burning, sore muscles were able to provide. When she reached the first floor, she didn’t bother to look around the living room; she began to pound on her front door. When the door resisted her hooves assaults, she threw her entire weigh over it, pouring every inch of herself into pushing the front door. She screamed, banged it with her hooves, threw her weight against it, bucked it, but nothing seemed to work.

She began to hear heavy hoofsteps, quickly nearing her with each passing second. Tears began to pour from her eyes as she desperately tried everything she could to open the door. The hoofsteps became louder and louder, increasing in speed as well, and she was able to see their imprint over the wooden floor. With each noise, a U-shaped hole formed on the wooden floor, propelling tiny splinters and dust clouds on the air.

In panic, she just flattened her body against the wall, trying to stay as far away as possible from the invisible thing advancing towards her. Her muscles began to falter and she dropped to the floor, hugging her hind legs as tightly as she could. Tears began to flow freely from her eyes as she cried for her own life. A sudden metallic, sharp sound grabbed hold of her attention, prompting her to open her eyes and see the grey, dim light of the stormy day behind her.

She instantly got up and galloped out of the house, not daring to risk even a look behind her. The heavy rain splattered itself against her creamy coat as the mare galloped faster and faster. The rain combined with the chilly breeze cooled her muscles, providing a mixed feeling of both discomfort and relief at the same time. As she raced, many thoughts passed through her mind; the most proeminent one was that she wouldn’t be able to run a few yards with her lungs, but the lighter air on the outside of her house proved otherwise. Her lungs filled themselves with clean, pure air, relieving her aching muscles and pounding heart the slightest.

She saw the small town of Ponyville in the distance and smiled, thankful that her torment finally had come to an end. She didn’t mind the strange, unnatural absence of sounds all around her; the trees shook, the rain splattered and her hooves connected to the hard ground below, but not a sound could be heard in her adrenaline-fueled frenzy. A wave of panic hit her when she noticed that she wasn’t getting to the town as fast as she’d hoped. That’s when she noticed; the path to Ponyville seemed to unnaturally stretch itself before her.

A panic-driven adrenaline jolt brought more strength to her burning muscles as she pushed forward with all her might. Each second seemed like an entire minute to the creamy mare; she could see the rain droplets slowly falling from the sky as the lightning lit the sky somewhere in the distance. When she neared the entrance to the small settlement, she focused on the friendly faces that stood further away from her. Slowing her gallop a bit and inhaling deeply, she prepared to scream for help. When the mare opened her lips and compressed her lungs as hard as she could, something with a dark tone of beige connected with her, knocking the air out of her lungs. The mare hit the dirt ground and instantly lost consciousness, succumbing into the darkness once more

* * *

Bon Bon woke up but didn’t dare to open her eyes. She slowly moved her hooves around her, trying to feel where she was laid against. Her eyes began to water when the heavy, damp air made it all clear to her. ‘No… No!’ she thought and opened her eyes, unwilling to believe her predicament. She heard a loud roar that shook the entire house, making the dust specks that accumulated on the walls and ceiling fall lazily to the floor.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” she yelled with her head grasped in-between her forehooves. She was physically and mentally spent; tired of running away from it, tired of the house, tired of the miserable excuse she had for a life. Her mind was nearly cracking, strange and illogical thoughts made their way inside her brain. She contemplated one particular thought. ‘It really is extreme… but these… these things won’t allow me to leave this house…’

She stood still for a few moments, not noticing the banging sounds on the wall or the sounds of dragged hoofsteps above and around her. The strange idea that passed her mind would rid herself of that nightmare permanently. ‘But… is it really worth it?’ she thought for a few minutes, but the mare felt less and less sure with each passing moment. She was torn between her primal will to live and her need to end the suffering. The mental tug-of-war continued until her conscience won over her instinct; she had decided. "Please forgive me, Lyra. I... I can't take this anymore!" Her voice was a bit stronger than a whisper, but still gloomily quiet.

With her mind set, she fetched a thick piece of rope from her basement, the one place that still hadn’t been affected by the mold or the damp air. She focused all her attention into the hard task of knotting on the rope with her hooves and mouth, trying to come up with anything that would resemble a noose to fit her neck through. She tried and tried several times; working only with hooves was harder than it looked, no matter how accustomed with them one might be.

She thought that if she somehow were to fail, she would probably make her life more miserable than it already was; forever stuck into a wheel chair. Coming up with something sturdy enough to handle her own weight without breaking the knot, she walked to Lyra’s favorite couch and climbed on top of it, tying the rope firmly into one of the ceiling’s many rafters. She adjusted the noose tightly around her neck and inhaled deeply. It was a strange feeling, taking one's own life; but she stood with her hind legs on the top of the chair apathetically. Even though her mind was set, her body still had that hunger for life; she could feel her heartbeats pounding frantically against her chest and her hooves shaking a little. She stood on top of that couch for what seemed to be centuries, unsure if even that would work to rid her of this situation. But even if it did… what then?

"One..."

She lifted her hind left leg, her weight shifted onto the right one. Just a sudden shift of weight would make her fall, gravity would take care of all her troubles... gravity always wins. The strange apathy that ruled her mind now disappeared, her brain was now also against her; sudden memories of a younger Bon Bon flashed her mind. The day she met Lyra... how pretty she was, playing her golden harp. How she overcame her insecurities and asked her out... how nervous both were when they shared their first kiss. Those memories didn't have the effect her brain expected them to; she was once again filled with sadness and guilt, giving her further will to end herself.

"T- two..."

Her body started to shake violently, like it had a conscience of its own and knew what the mare was trying to do. Desperately trying to keep remaining functional, her brain sent her another mental image, the happiest day of her life; when both mares declared their love for each other, and that they would spend the rest of their lives together... no matter what.

"THREE!"

Oddly enough, nothing happened; she still stood, perfectly balanced on her right rear leg. She felt that something was wrong, no matter how hard she tried, her leg remained still. It was then that an ominous voice manifested itself inside of her brain.

"I’m sorry, Bon Bon. But I can’t let you do that." The words were ruffling like a strong wind in the mare's ears as the room she was in slowly started to grow darker and darker. Shadows started to creep out from the corners and behind the pile of trashed furniture. They moved and twisted themselves in odd angles, shouting obscenities, taunting, mocking, watching, laughing and whispering.

"Who are you?!" There was no answer. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Even though Bon Bon could hear her own voice, her mouth never moved.

"I knew you wouldn't recognize me. It was so long ago, after all." The creamy mare tried to look to every corner of the room, but her eyes were still paralyzed. She tried to focus on the images her still eyes provided her brain, trying to grasp the source of this voice. "I... am you."

"What!?"

"You... needed me back then. I’m not surprised that you don’t remember it... after all, I was in control at the time... and you were just a little foal." The strange voice had a tad of pain on its dragged speech. But it remained calm nevertheless. "You needed me to help you when... when your father hurt you."

"NO! SHUT UP! My father was a saint! He never laid a single hoof on me!"

"Beating. Abusing. Molesting." Sudden images of her very younger self rushed through the mare’s mind. It then became clear as to why she couldn't remember much of her younger life before meeting Lyra. Memories long lost started to rush into her head.

* * *

It was past Bon Bon's bedtime, but the little filly couldn't sleep; she was too excited about finally winning her cutie mark -- three pieces of candy, wrapped in a blue envelope with yellow stripes on each now adorned her flank. The little filly was laid on the ground drawing with her colorful crayons on the floor. She stood like that, drawing and humming a tune she learned on the school for several minutes. Each finished doodle, as bad as it looked, was carefully folded and stored in her drawer.

Her ears perked up when she heard a sound coming from downstairs; she instantly thought it to be her mother. Thinking that she would be mad at her not being asleep when it was two hours past her bedtime, the little filly turned off her lamp and dashed to the bed, pulling the blanket up to her chest and pretending to be asleep. She heard slow, heavy steps climbing the stairs, like somepony was having trouble climbing them. She pulled her blanket up and curled herself with it, leaving only her eyes uncovered.

The sound of hoofsteps slowly neared her door. She saw the knob on her door turning and the door to her room opened with a small creak. The figure of a pony stood on her doorway. It seemed having trouble staying still for long, as it began to falter from side to side.

"M... mommy?" the little filly asked the most instinctive question; even though she knew it wasn’t her mother; the pony standing by her door reeked alcohol and old sweat.

"Mommy isn't home, sweetie..." She instantly recognized that voice belonging to her father. Even though the identity of that pony was clear to her, she stood immobile under her blanket, afraid to move. He gave a few steps inside of the room, enough so that the moonlight was bathing his face. His head was pending to one side and a strange grin was plastered across his face. He stood there, just watching his little daughter, as the filly herself felt more and more uncomfortable with the situation with each passing second. He began to move again with those heavy, dragged steps towards the little filly's bed.

"Daddy... what's going on?" she asked the stallion, but no answer ever came. In a quick, sudden movement, the stallion grabbed her blanket and lifted it up, dragging the little filly along with it. The little Bon Bon fell on top of her bed, shaking and her eyes blurred with the running tears. She couldn’t understand what her father was doing. "D... Daddy!?"

Bon Bon was thrown out of the bed when the massive force of the pony's hoof connected to her jaw. With her mouth bleeding, she quickly dragged herself to the corner of the room, curling up in a ball and starting to sob silently. Nothing was making sense in the little filly’s head. 'Why, daddy? Why?!'

Her father saw her cutie mark when the little filly was desperately trying to get away from him. It's presence on her flank and her fear just fueled his luscious fire even more. He slowly made his way towards the corner where his own daughter was pressed onto and disgustingly licked his lips.

"Candy... Let's see if you taste as sweet..."

* * *

"You... You're lying! LIAR!" She couldn't accept it; her entire fillyhood, the one she couldn't remember anything about, was a nightmare. "It's not true... it can't be true!"

"YOU NEEDED ME! And that is why I took control... this is why I'm taking control." The shadow began to manifest itself in front of the paralyzed Bon Bon. It was her exact doppelgänger, the one who gently caressed her mane 'through' the mirror.

"You are the one giving me the nightmares! You are the one haunting this house! EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT!"

"I don't like what the others do to you. I really don't know why they do it... your pain is our pain after all. But I am capable of silencing them... to an extent. But I need control in order to do so."

Even though Bon Bon couldn't control her body, she could still feel it wobbling precariously on her one hind leg. Tears began to blur her vision of the shadow, but she could see a little bit of grief onto its face; it was as if the shadow suffered from doing this. "Wh... What?!"

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you... we won't feel pain anymore. We've both suffered enough already." The shadow lifted one of its hooves and a skull-splitting migraine made its way into the mare’s brain. The sudden pain was accompanied by a ringing sound, which grew in volume as the seconds passed.

"... no. No! NO! I don't need you! This is my body!" she screamed in her mind.

"The moment you decided to end your life you've proven that you're still not strong. I should've taken control right then, but I was waiting to see how far you were willing to go..." The shadow fixed its black eyes on hers; the mare could see that the shadow wasn't enjoying this any more than she was. "You do need me." The shadow was now slowly moving closer towards the cream pony, but try as she might, the mare couldn't move a muscle.

She saw with blurry, tear-stained eyes, the shadow leaning over her as it started to melt itself with her own body, infiltrating it. Each second that passed, the piercing headache and the ringing sound slowly diminished as she felt herself shrinking in her own mind. She knew that fighting it was hopeless; the shadow was the embodiment of all the sorrow and pain she accumulated through her life. Her creation was stronger than herself. She only hoped that whoever Bon Bon the shadow would become, it would be a better pony than herself.

Author's Notes

Inspired by:

Emilie Autumn - Gloomy Sunday (A.K.A. Hungarian Suicide Song)

Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless
Little white flowers will never awaken you
Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought of ever returning you
Would they be angry if I thought of... joining you... ?

Gloomy Sunday.

Gloomy is Sunday,
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided to end it all
Soon there'll be candles and prayers that are sad I know...
Let them not weep! Let them know that I'm glad to go...
Death is no dream for in death I'm caressing you
With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you

Gloomy Sunday.

Message to xxsuperduperxx: Thank you for the support and the help you've given me! I will repay you the favor!

This is it! The final version of this story. So many changes came and went; and I’m glad I revisited this story. You might not know, but this was the first fanfic I ever wrote. Of course the previous versions sucked a lot; I only nailed this story on my 4th try at it.

Why does this feel so… Amnesia/Silent Hill-ish?