Celestia's New World

October 30

"Celestia, how long's it been?" I complained, still driving around town.

"Four hours." she answered, just as bored as I was.

"I've never even driven this long before. We haven't even gotten anywhere. My butt hurts." I grumbled.

"As does mine."

"I'll have to give you a massage later."

"I don't know if we'll have the energy. At first, this was exciting, but after four hours of nothing, I'm becoming burnt out."

"It'll be more exciting when we find her. I hope we find her soon, I'm getting hungry."

"Me too."

"We should've eaten before we left. You feel anything yet?"

"No, nothing. One moment. Perhaps Luna can offer some assistance." She suddenly became very quiet. A glance to her showed me that her eyes were closed. She seemed to be concentrating. "Make this next turn here." she said, pointing to the right, "It seems she's been able to narrow down our search."

"Oh, wow. Good job, Luna. So you can just talk to her anytime you want?"

"It requires a great deal of concentration to initiate the conversation in my human form, but yes."

"Cool. So what did she tell you?"

"My sister has managed to create a picture from the holes Red Shadow has been leaving by hiding herself."

"Smart."

"It has narrowed our search considerably. Thankfully, she's still in town."

"That's nice. Oh dang, we're almost out of gas."

"Gas?"

"Yeah, the car runs on gasoline. We need to take a short break. We can stretch our legs, get some snacks."

"Alright, I'll accept that. But only if you get me some twinkies."

I rolled my eyes. "You're lucky you're cute."

"I know."

Celestia joined me next to the gas pump as I filled up the tank.

"Are you doing alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine. I'm just worried."

"Yeah, me too."

"She's not supposed to be here. Red Shadow must be brought to justice for her crimes, but getting her back to Equestria is our top priority."

"Geez, that's a bit harsh."

"She is not exempt from our laws by simply leaving our country."

"I guess. Try not to mention that to her."

"Of course."

I sighed and shook my head. "This searching shit is definitely not for me."

"I know. I'm sorry I'm making you do this."

"Oh, don't worry about that. As long as I'm with you, I don't care what we're doing."

She smiled.

"At least we're not hauling around two extras. Did they finally trust me enough to leave me alone with you?"

"Something like that. To tell the truth, Shining wanted to see you again. Unfortunately, he's not able to simply leave his post."

"And you are?"

"I'm the Princess, I can do whatever I want."

"Aye, fair enough. I kinda wanna to meet up, too. He's a good lad. Still, I'd rather be alone with you."

"Indeed."

"I'm gonna head inside and pay. Grab a drink for myself. You want something to drink?"

"I'm fine."

"Be back in a sec."

When I got back, I set the soda in a drink holder and gave Celestia her twinkies. She immediately tore one open and devoured it. Afterwards, she reached for the soda to take a drink.

"Thought you said you were fine." I said as we left.

"Maybe I lied."

"I would've gotten you one."

"I like sharing with you."

"You know..."

"I know, I know. I'm lucky I'm cute."

I just smirked.

It had to have been another hour before we got any sort of clue. Fortunately, it was a big clue. We had both been getting anxious by this point.

"Oh!" Celestia suddenly perked up in her seat. "Magic! I can sense it! Here! Turn here!"

Without any indication of where I was going, I careened the car into a nearby parking lot, quickly finding a place to park. A bar. I knew this place, I used to come here to get really salty potato wedges. We were on the outskirts of town, near a highway. There was no better place for a thief.

"Thank goodness. I don't know how much more of that I could take." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, same here."

"She hasn't left yet, thankfully. She may not know we're here."

"So... how should we do this?" I asked.

"We go in and speak to her. I see no other alternative."

I nodded. "Right."

"Be on your guard, Phil. She's run from me before. We can't lose her, not in this world."

"Yeah."

I got out of the car and stretched my body. That was unpleasant. I never want to drive for so long again. The two of us walked inside. A faint aroma of cigarette smoke filled the air. I immediately spotted her standing at the counter. The hair was a dead giveaway. She was alone, at least as far as I could tell. It seemed like she was being ignored by the bartender.

I looked to Celestia, who nodded.

"Try talking to her. I'll wait here." she said.

"Uh... alright. I'll give it a shot." She must think I'd have a better chance.

I joined our target at the counter, sitting on the stool next to her and ordering a soda. She caught the glance I gave her. There was no reason she would know who I was, so she didn't react.

As soon as I got my drink, I slid it to her. She looked up and smirked at me.

"You looked thirsty."

"Thanks, but I don't take things from strangers."

"I'm Phil. How about you?"

"Call me Red."

"Now we ain't strangers."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She reached to the soda and opened it. "Thanks, then." She took a short drink.

"So Red... Cool tattoos."

"I was young."

"I'm sure. So what are you doing here in these parts?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"I'm actually from the magical land of Equestria, where I was a super-duper magical unicorn who escaped to this world so I could be free of the shackles of society." The sarcasm from this one was a force to be reckoned with.

"Equestria, eh? No shit! My buddy Celestia came from there too! Do you know her?"

The color drained from her face.

"Well, I guess it's a little racist to assume that all ponies know each other. Anyways, I do know who you are, Red. I didn't wanna make a scene. Sorry about dropping that on you all of the sudden."

"I've heard about you. You're the man the Princess lives with."

"That's right. How long have you been here?"

"Eighteen hours."

"Geez. You been on the move since you got here?"

"Of course I have."

"You didn't make it very far."

"I've been busy."

"I see. I take it you're not exactly up to going back to Equestria, are you?"

"If you know who I am, you know why I can't go back."

"Yeah, I know. But coming here was a huge mistake."

"It's starting to look that way. You found me in less than a day. I'm impressed."

"You hungry?"

"Huh?"

"You said you've been here for eighteen hours. You must be starving."

"I'm not a child, food isn't going to convince me to go back. Why do you think I'm here? Look at all these people. Their wallets are so unprotected. I'll steal my fill and rent a room somewhere while I figure out my next move."

"What if you get caught?"

"Trust me, I never get caught." She raised her hand. Held in it was a wallet... My wallet.

"Very funny, give it back."

I swiped at it, but she pulled away. She opened it and took the money out before returning it to me.

"I don't appreciate being robbed." I pocketed my wallet, "Don't forget to pay for your drink when we leave." She wasn't going anywhere. If it'll help convince her to come with us, she can have the thirty dollars that were in there.

"What kind of man asks a lady to pay?" she asked, brushing a hand under my chin.

Another hand grabbed her wrist. I turned to see Celestia glaring right at her.

"P-P-Princess!" I looked back to Red. There was no more playfulness about her. In its place was fear. Celestia released Red, who took her arm back and turned towards the counter. "I... didn't expect to see you here, Princess."

Celestia turned to me. "Phil, this is going nowhere."

"I thought it was going well."

"We didn't come here to make friends, Phil."

"Too late for that." I replied, "Celestia, this is Red. Red, this is Celestia."

"We've met." said Celestia.

"Oh, you have?"

Red merely nodded, staring blankly at the counter.

"Well... where does this leave us?" I asked.

"Nothing has changed." said Celestia, "Red Shadow, you will come with us."

"What if I don't want to?" she asked without looking back.

"What you want is none of our concern."

"What if I refuse?" Red was provoking her Princess.

"Then we will take you by force."

"Uh, Celestia..." I started.

Red took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She turned back to us, a smirk creeping across on her face. "I think I know what's going on here." she declared, "You can't do anything, can you? If you could, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You aren't a Princess in this world. Neither of you have any power over me."

Celestia glared at her. As much as she disliked the thought, Red was right. I think I needed to step in before they said anything else.

"Will you excuse us for a moment, Red?" I asked, grabbing Celestia's arm and stepping away.

"What? Where are we going?" she asked, confused but nonetheless following my lead because she trusted me.

When we were a short distance from Red, I turned to Celestia and asked in a hushed tone, "Is everything alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're being really... aggressive with her."

"She must return to Equestria. There's no debating this."

"I know, I know. But there's no reason for this. Are you alright, Celestia?" I asked again, gentler this time, "You've been acting weird ever since you came back."

She crossed her arms and looked away like a frustrated child. "I'm not acting weird, you're acting weird." she grumbled.

"You want something to eat?"

She looked back with an innocent smile. "Yes."

"Alright, I'll get you some onion rings."

"Thank you." She sighed. "I don't want to discuss this in front of her."

"Let's talk when we get back home, alright?"

She nodded. "Alright."

"What are you two plotting over there?" Red asked us.

Celestia stood behind me as I moved back towards Red. Seems she was letting me talk again.

"Not plotting anything, yet." I replied, trying to get us back on track. I was trying to analyse the situation we were in. Red had an advantage over us given that we were in public.

"Yet? So you're going to?"

"If this doesn't go well, we might have to." I moved to the counter and ordered some food for our group before turning back to Red. "You know, coming here was a bigger mistake than you might think."

"What do you mean?"

"The crystal mirror is only open for about three days. After that, it takes a month to... I guess you could call it 'recharge'."

"I can't go back to Equestria? Like... at all?"

"Not for a month."

"And if I wait that month here, they'll really be ready for me. Looks like I'm stuck here."

"Are you really not gonna go back?"

"It's either stay here or go back to prison in Equestria. It's a no brainer."

"Come on, you don't wanna stay here."

"Why not? I'm a thief, I can just steal for a living."

"That... No, that's bad. And you definitely can't get away with it here. We're way better at catching people than ponies. And our prisons are way worse."

"Way worse, huh? So... I suppose I should ask, just in case I'm wrong... What did you two want from me?"

"We want you to return to Equestria." I replied with the truth.

"So I can get put into jail?"

"That's... out of my hands."

"Well, 'Princess'?" she looked to Celestia.

"That's right, Red Shadow." she replied.

"Then why would I ever want to go back?"

I stepped forward. "Because you can't live here, Red. Does living in a dumpy hotel room for the rest of your life sound like a fun idea? This world isn't like Equestria. To do anything you need registration. Not even Celestia can be registered, nobody from Equestria can." Pause for dramatic effect. "You can't live a life worth living."

"He's right, Red Shadow. Regardless of how you feel about Equestria, you can't stay in this world forever." said Celestia.

"Then I'll stay as long as I can. You two might not realize this, but I'm kinda wanted in Equestria. Anything I can do to stay out of prison is good enough for me. Now unless the next words out of your mouth are 'you're free to go', we're done talking."

Red turned back to the counter, proceeding to ignore the two of us. Well shit. I should've made a quicksave before trying that speech check. I turned back to Celestia. Her arms were crossed over her chest. She was glaring directly at Red. Bottling up her anger like this probably wasn't good for her. The worst thing we could do was stop talking. We won't get any further unless we keep pushing.

The bartender came back with a basket of onion rings. As I thanked him, Celestia took the basket for herself. Her sour mood seemed to disappear as she took the first bite.

I stepped forward and joined Red at the counter. "Hey, Red..."

"Not listening."

"Well, you're gonna have to. But that's all I'm gonna ask from you right now. Alright?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "Fine. Make it quick." she snapped.

"You need to go back to Equestria."

"No, I don't."

"I thought you weren't listening."

She shot me a dirty look. "This better be good."

"We... can't let you stay here. No matter what. The Princesses told me that ponies coming here could have some... deeper consequences. They told me that the more ponies that come here, the less stable the connection could be."

"What does that mean? And what does it mean to me?"

"I don't know what it means, exactly. I don't think the Princesses know either. But Princess Luna told me that it could be very dangerous, for both worlds. She said something like... She said... the walls holding our worlds apart fracture when someone moves from one world to another."

"That... doesn't sound good. Are you lying to me?"

"No, she did say it. At least something to that effect. I can't remember exactly."

"Hey wait, if that's true, then why the heck is she here?" Red turned and pointed to Celestia, who was enjoying her junk food.

Celestia looked to Red, then to me. She picked up another onion ring, not answering. She gave another look to me. I think she was waiting for my answer.

"Actually Red, that's a bit of a... different situation."

"Different how? I heard that the Princess disappeared for a month, then she came back. Now she's here again. And... she can't go back for another month like you said. There's no way she knew about me before she got here. Huh... I didn't get here until recently and... Wait, wait, wait... Wait a minute... Are..." She stepped in front of me. "Are you... Are you... together?!"

Celestia and I glanced to each other before returning to Red. A smile slowly crept across her face.

"No way... No way, no way! Oh my gosh, you are!" She started to laugh. "Oh, this is too much!" She bent over, hands on her stomach, laughing even harder.

"I... didn't expect laughter." said Celestia, "It isn't very funny to me."

"It's a little funny. You know, you and me." I said to her.

"I suppose, in a way."

Red patted my back, still giggling. "Good for you, we all know everyone needs someone t-" She burst out laughing again. "I can't do it! This is the funniest thing ever!"

"Yes, thank you Red."

"You got it, man." she joked.

People were starting to stare at us. I didn't mind it this time. Red was having fun, there's nothing wrong with that.

Eventually, she took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "Ok...Ok... I think I'm good."

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way..." I started.

"What, that's it?"

"What's it?"

"I don't know, it just seemed kinda... never mind. Just... Princess Celestia with a boyfriend... It's crazy, right? I heard about you, I just never thought..."

I shrugged.

"Man, I just... I... Wh... How? How did this happen? How did you two meet?"

"I'll tell you if you come with us."

"Ha! Not a chance. Good try, though. Although I am curious, now. Still, no. How exactly would it benefit me to come with you?"

"Well... you'd be safe." I repeated.

"Here we go again." she huffed.

"My house is the only place in this world that I can promise you will be safe." I said.

"So what?"

"You don't want to live in a world like this. Thievery isn't the answer."

"You sound just like my mom."

"She sounds like a smart mare." said Celestia.

"Of course she does, she's my mom."

"If you're just gonna take what you need from other people, then just let me give you the money instead." I offered.

She blinked a few times before saying, "Are you bribing me?"

"If that's what it will take, then yes."

"I'm listening. What do you have to offer?"

"I... Er... Uhh... I... can get you what you want, really. Aside from, like... jewelry or anything extravagant like that. Celestia's the only one I'd buy jewelry for."

Celestia turned to me. "What?"

"But everything else is on the table." I finished.

"Hmm...No jewelry, huh?"

"I'm... not a rich man."

She shook her head. "No. You couldn't offer me anything I couldn't get myself."

"Please?"

"Really? 'Asking nicely' is your last resort?"

"Well, close to it."

"So what is your last resort?"

I looked to Celestia again. I think she was curious as well.

"We'll just take you ourselves, no two ways about it."

"Oh, you'd get violent with me?"

"As a last resort. There are a few more... steps along the way."

"What if I screamed? I bet all these nice people would come to help me, wouldn't they?"

"Well yeah, that's why we'd follow you out of here."

"Dude, that's super creepy!"

I shrugged. "You asked. I'm certainly not planning on it. I was planning on just... talking. Seeing where things went."

"And look where it got us. I'm still not convinced. You're gonna have to try a lot harder." said Red.

"Geez, Red... You sure aren't making this easy for me, are you?"

"It's not supposed to be easy. Play your games somewhere else if you want easy. I'm not moving from this spot."

Oh... Wow... Maybe she was right. I haven't been treating this very seriously from the start. Red might be a pony but she had all the emotions and feelings of a human. I might need Celestia's help after all.

A glance to Celestia was all she needed to step in.

"Staying in this world is not a choice I can allow you to make, Red Shadow. Unfortunately, for the next month, there is no returning to Equestria. Perhaps we could come to an agreement in that time." offered Celestia.

"What kind of agreement?"

"I can't promise you anything yet, but you are no doubt aware that I have the authority to reduce or otherwise lessen your punishment. I will do everything within my power to return you to Equestria. I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to remain here."

"I... I don't want to go to jail, Princess."

"I know, Red Shadow. You've made many mistakes and you must face the consequences of your actions, but if we could come to an agreement, perhaps things could turn out favorable for you. Come with us, Red Shadow. We can provide a place to stay while we wait. The rest will be up to you."

Wow... Celestia's 'Princess voice'... So soft... So commanding... So pretty...

Red looked down, her hands lifting and holding her arms. "I don't know how I feel about this." There was a certain timidness to her voice. She was uneasy. Uncomfortable.

An order from Celestia was not something she could simply ignore like me. Celestia's presence demanded an answer. I didn't want to force Red to come with us, but I messed things up enough already.

"Come with us, Red Shadow." Celestia repeated. "Please. Come rest."

"I... I guess I am pretty tired. Alright. Alright, I'll come with you."

Celestia smiled. "Thank you."

Red nodded. She reached into her pocket and retrieved the money she took from me. "You owe me." she said, holding it out to me.

"You got it."

After Celestia had finished her snack, which didn't take long, I paid for the food and we finally left. As Celestia sat in her usual passenger seat, I instructed Red how to buckle her seatbelt. She was sitting behind Celestia, who glanced back at us a few times.

Red patted the seat next to her a few times. "This is a bit less exciting than I thought it would be."

"What do you mean?"

"Being in one of these... things."

"The car?"

"Is that what it's called? I didn't ask anyone. I didn't wanna draw attention to myself. It was hard enough balancing on two legs with this new body. I totally didn't expect this when I came here. My work is shoddy thanks to these... things on my arms."

"Hands."

"Yes those, thank you. I was almost caught a few times. It's nothing like using magic. I tried that too, but I just couldn't get any spells to work right."

"What do you mean?" Celestia asked, "You had a cloaking spell. It prevented my sister from locating you."

"Well, I can't tell you all my secrets, can I?"

"Speaking of secrets, is there something you'd like to be called by?" I asked, "Or do you just want us to call you Red Shadow?"

"My friends call me Red. That's all you need to know."

"Where did this alias come from? Shadows are not inherently red, you know."

"I know, I'm not stupid. It's an old name, I thought it was cool when I was younger."

"It's kinda cool." I said.

"Thank you. See? He gets it. I also went by Scarlet Witch for a while, but your guards didn't figure that one out."

"Do not speak of my guards in such a tone." Celestia growled in response.

"Come on, be nice. She didn't mean anything by it." I said.

Celestia looked to me, then slunk back in her seat. I glanced to her. She was looking down.

Red chuckled. "Are you really taking orders from him, Princess?"

Celestia looked to me again, incredulous that I would let Red bully her.

"Red you be nice, too."

"Alright, fine."

We pulled into the driveway after a short, quiet ride home. I got out of the car first and moved to Red's side to open her door. Celestia and I led her inside.

"So this is my new home?" she asked as we walked.

"At least until you go back to Equestria." I answered.

"I have to stay here for a whole month? I'd rather just steal dirty hotel money every day."

"Rude. Don't worry, it's much worse on the inside."

"You serious?"

Celestia brought up the rear, making sure Red didn't bolt as soon as the two of us had our back turned. Even though she was kind at the bar, after my intervention, Celestia still didn't trust Red.

"Wow Princess, you live like this?" asked Red, her eyes exploring the front room.

Well, it's been less than a minute and I'm already embarrassed about my house. "It's... been a little while since I've cleaned." I said.

"Looks like my place." said Red, "I don't clean much either. So where's my bed?"

"Basement." I replied.

"Are you serious?"

"It's better than you think." I said, "Probably."

"What about that room?" she asked, pointing to my open door.

"That's my room." I said.

"It's our room." Celestia added.

"Wait, wait, wait... You two sleep together?"

"Phil and I are both adults, Red Shadow." said Celestia, "It's not strange for those in a relationship to share a bed.

"I... Yeah, I just... Well... I just didn't expect the Princess to... to... y-yeah..."

"It's our relationship, you have no place to judge." Celestia crossed her arms.

"I... guess. Are you... You aren't just pulling my leg here, are you? Are you really... together? Like... together, together?"

"I'm still wondering how it happened myself." I said.

"That's crazy... Well... good for you."

"Thank you." said Celestia.

"Well anyways, I can't help but feel I'm in the way of something." said Red, "I'm gonna head down and check it out. You two have fun with... whatever's going on between you."

With that, Red stepped into the basement stairwell. Celestia closed the door after her and turned to me.

"It doesn't lock from this direction." I pointed out.

"I know. I don't want her to hear this." She stepped away from the door, closer to me. "I don't like how she acts around you."

How... Red acts? Is that what this is about?

"She was flirting with you at the bar!" she said, her voice hushed, yet forceful, "When she put her hand on you, I..." She paused for a moment before turning to the side with her arms crossed over her chest. "I didn't like it. You didn't seem to have a problem with it either."

"I... was a little uncomfortable. But I thought... you know, pushing her away would... make it harder to talk to her."

She gave me a short glare before saying, calmer this time, "That's something else I'd like to talk about. You... You seem very close to your female friends."

"I am close to them. They're my friends. Even... her. Red's my friend, too." I replied as honestly as I could.

"You've just met her! You don't even know her. And this whole situation with your coworker on top of this... Everything you've been doing so far has involved other woman. It feels like you're ignoring me."

"Celestia, no... Come on... You know that's not true."

"I know. That's what it feels like." Her eyes were like a dog caught with its mouth in the garbage. Guilt, regret, shame... I know she didn't like feeling this way. She didn't like accusing me of ignoring her.

Even if she was upset, I still wanted to defend myself. "Celestia, Sarah is my friend, and even if I haven't known her for very long, so is Red. At least that's what I want. I don't even know if she likes me. Red needs to go back to Equestria. I just thought the easiest way would be to befriend her."

"I just... I don't like all these new women. I don't like that they're taking your attention away from me. I'm... jealous. I'm sure you've figured that out."

"Celestia... We've talked about this."

"I know. I know. You already know how I feel. I don't like that the time we have together is being taken away from us."

"I don't either, Celestia. We'll have time soon enough."

"With the way things have happened with Red Shadow, we may not have time at all." She sighed. "I... I need some time to think this over.

"Alright Celestia, I'll leave you to it. In the meantime though, I think it's a good idea if I talked to Red again. Maybe I could get her to open up some more."

She nodded. "Good luck, honey."

I smiled at her before wrapping my arms around her in a warm hug. She returned my embrace, squeezing me tightly. When we pulled apart, Celestia moved to the couch while I turned to the basement door.

I knocked and called, "Coming down!"

"Can't wait!" she called back.

I opened the door and walked down the stairs.

"You know, for some guy's basement, this is surprisingly cozy. What's that?" She pointed at the desk.

"Called a computer." I explained it in the same way that I explained it to Celestia. I didn't really need or want to, but it gave me a chance to study her reactions. No doubt she was doing the same for me. "Are you doing alright here?" I asked.

"Well, if it keeps me out of prison. Can you talk to her about that? I doubt she'd listen to me."

"I can't, Red. You're gonna have to talk to her yourself. It's not my place."

"C'mon, please?"

"I can't ask her about that. It's not my business."

"What could I even do about this?" she grumbled.

"I don't know. Try... just... talking to her. She said she would listen."

"She just said that so I'd come here."

"Celestia doesn't lie."

"Whatever."

"Mmm... Still, I guess I'm not too fond of my friends being jailed."

"I'm really your friend? Seems like I'm just making problems for you."

"You are. I don't care if you make problems, just don't do anything stupid."

"Thanks, I guess. The only friends I have are other thieves and they're all untrustworthy."

"Maybe she'd go light on you if you turn them in."

"No, absolutely not. I'm in the same sinking ship as them."

"No honor among thieves."

"Tell me about it. Also some of them scare me. I don't want to be on their bad side."

"More than a Princess?"

"Mmm... Tough call."

"So what exactly did you do? Like, what did you steal, who did you steal from?"

"I'm surprised you don't have a notepad with questions like that."

"Oh, like I'm gonna interrogate you. I don't have anything to do with this."

"Aside from the whole 'dating a Princess' thing."

"Right... So... what kind of thief are you?"

"The best. At least, I think I was the best. If there were better, I doubt I'd know about them." She chuckled. "I always got away clean. The castle robbery got me a lot of money, but my cut seemed a little smaller than the others. I knew something was up with them."

"Whoa, castle robbery? Really?"

"You don't know? I'm surprised the Princess didn't tell you. Wanna hear about it?"

"Yeah, sure."

"So... Me and a group planned a big heist on the castle. It was a simple plan, in and out. We managed to map a route to the treasure room. The plan went off without a hitch until we started bagging the loot. A guard spotted us and we had to book it fast. We took a good haul, but there was still a lot left. That's where things went wrong."

"Wrong?"

"Yeah. My 'friends' weren't satisfied with that. When they said they wanted to finish the job, I told them that they were crazy. In return for my advice, they reduced my cut and kicked me out. Of course, I was right, and the guards were ready for them. Jokes on me though, I had to pay for their silence."

"That sucks."

"Yeah, you're telling me. Lost a lot of money already. You try being held back by a bunch of idiots."

"Well, I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

"Oh, ha ha."

"So what else did you do? Let me guess, aspiring artist?"

"As if! I work at a bakery. It's a good hobby to have when I'm not out and about."

"Oh, cool."

"I didn't have any family or anything to keep me occupied either, if that's what you were gonna ask next."

"So, so far I've got that you live alone and work at a bakery, probably in Canterlot. With red hair and a diamond as a cutie mark, it won't be hard to find you if you decide to go home."

She snickered. "If it were that easy, I'd already be behind bars."

I shrugged, then turned to my computer. "I can't use this while you're sleeping, so I'm gonna do it now while I have the chance. That alright with you?"

"Go ahead. Is that how you treat all women you meet? Just ignore them?"

"Usually."

The computer was, of course, an excuse. I barely had anything to do on it. It was a way to get close to Red.

"So what exactly... does this thing do?" she asked again, stepping behind my chair.

"Anything. With enough work. For most people though, it's used to store and search for information."

"What kinds of information?"

"All kinds. Anything. Everything. Anything at all. But I just use it to look at funny pictures of cats. Don't worry, you don't need to concern yourself with it."

"Alright, if you say so. Looks expensive."

"Don't try to steal it. It's too heavy and you wouldn't know how to sell it. Also I'd kick your ass if you did."

"Yeah, you probably could. I'm sure you've got at least a hundred pounds on me. The Princess is pretty big, too. I wouldn't wanna get in a scrap with either of you."

"Don't worry, she's nice. She would never do that."

"I can't help but notice you didn't include yourself in that."

"Someone's gotta catch you if you run."

"What, aren't you nice too? Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. You already got me here. You know, if I really did want to leave, I think it would be easiest to sneak out while you're sleeping. I already took your wallet without you noticing. I could sneak by you no problem."

"Yeah, probably. Celestia might be more watchful than I am though. I mean, I have a job, I can't just take days off to watch you all the time."

"Where do you work?"

"I manage a fast food restaurant." I shrugged. "It pays the bills."

"So we both work with food, eh? Ah... The Princess doesn't seem to like me. I don't have high hopes for talking to her."

"Give her a chance. She's easy to be friends with."

"If she gives me a chance first, that is."

"She's a lot more easygoing than you may think."

"Is that so? I don't think I see that in her."

"Well, you haven't been living with her."

"I'm also not her boyfriend."

"True."

"So you and the Princess... Do... Do you two... Was... Was that a joke, before? Do you two really... You know..."

"Yes we do."

She didn't respond for a little while. I think she was embarrassed. "I don't think anypony thought the Princess... did that sorta thing. But I guess it's... Y-You know, like she said. You're both adults and... y-yeah." She cleared her throat and continued. "I mean, I've never thought about her as someone who would even want a boyfriend. She's so... so different from us regular ponies. I guess I've never thought of her as anything other than just 'the Princess'."

"She's pretty normal when she wants to be." I said, shrugging, "She lazes around a lot. Get to know her a bit more, Red. She can be a good friend."

"She can also be terrifying."

"Yeah, I guess. You know, Celestia was really worried about you while we were looking for you."

"She was?"

"Yeah. Until we found you, she made it seem like you were a lost child or something. You don't know how important it is for you to return."

"Do you even know?" she questioned.

"No, not really. But if it's important to Celestia, it's important to me." I turned to my computer for a short while before saying, "I won't be long down here. Hope it's not too uncomfortable."

"No, it's pretty nice, actually." she replied.

I reached under the desk and retrieved my water jug to take a drink. "Oh man, have you eaten?" I asked.

"I have, I have. But thank you for asking. Actually, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." She stood up.

"Oh alright. You can ask Celestia where it is. She's just on the couch."

"Right, thanks." She moved to the stairway and stopped as she grabbed the rail. She sighed before turning to face me. "You're a lot nicer than I thought you would be."

"Oh... Well, thanks."

She hesitated before climbing the stairs. I turned back to the computer.

Getting kinda tired. I'll have to call it a night soon. I hope Red doesn't leave during the night. We'll have to go get her again and today was bad enough. Guess I'd better head up.

As I turned the chair to stand, my hand fell into my lap. The drowsiness suddenly intensified, spreading through my body. When I tried to open my mouth to question to myself what was happening, I couldn't speak. My body felt so heavy.

No... She didn't... The water!

My first thought was to tell Celestia. I couldn't call up to her with my voice, but maybe there was another way... Phone! As I grabbed the phone on my desk, my head dropped onto my arm. A panic began to set in. I managed to open the texting app, but I could barely keep my eyes open to see the letters. I only needed to tap out a single word.

R... e... d... Send.

The phone dropped from my hand onto the floor with a thud as I finally fell asleep.