Celestia's New World

August 23

So... Princess Celestia was living at my house. Princess Celestia... was living at my house. I'm... Do I need to see a therapist?

Thankfully, as far as I could tell, she liked it here. She and I had become friends. I never imagined that I'd even get to talk to a Princess, let alone become one's friend. It was nice, and not just because she was a Princess, but because I found a new friend.

As we talked about last night, our plan involved going through the town to find her mirror. Since I had work, we could only do it in the evening. With a town like this though, there was no way we could cover it all within three days. Still, in hopes of keeping her spirits up, I'll do my best to help her. Or... I'll try to do my best.

Celestia gave me a pleasant smile as I returned home. I gave her one of my own. I noticed that my laptop was in her arms.

"Hello, Phil."

"Hey, Celestia."

"I'm ready to go, if you are." she said to me.

I looked her up and down. "You don't even have socks on."

She looked down to her feet. "Oh, right... One moment." She stood up and disappeared into my bedroom, passing by me as if she had already settled into her new life.

I looked to my laptop. What was she doing on it? With her in my room, donning a pair of socks, I sat on the couch and opened it up. Oh, she was googling herself... Giggity...

The open page was the Princess Celestia article on the My Little Pony wikia. The search history showed that she had looked up herself on the internet and found this site. She did quite a bit of research about Equestria, as well. It showed me that she was studying this world, as well. She looked up the history of the world, though I don't know how far she got.

She was also looking up cake recipes. To each their own.

"It's a strange feeling." she said, surprising me a little.

I looked up to her. She's so big, how did I not notice her returning? It's probably the socks...

"To see something dedicated to knowledge about my world in another. There's even some I didn't know myself. It's almost like I'm spying on my subjects, don't you think?"

I shrugged.

She chuckled. "Sorry. I'm ready to go, now."

I set the laptop down and closed it. "Alright. I'm gonna grab a snack, then we can head out."

I went to the kitchen. Celestia was not a picky eater, by any means. Most of my snacks have disappeared overnight. There was no chocolate anywhere in this house anymore. The chips had taken a hit as well. The trash can was full of cellophane packaging. The boxes that the chocolate came in had been neatly folded up and placed into the recycling bin that I kept near the fridge. Who would do such a thing...

I grabbed a banana and munched it down. An easy snack. I returned to the front room, keys in hand, and we left to the car. She had gotten much better at walking while I was gone.

"Where are we going today?" she asked me, a smile on her face.

"Well, I thought I would take you downtown this time. There's a lot to see down there."

"That means that there are a lot of places to hide the crystal mirror."

I just gave her a small smile.

I drove us downtown, showing her where the police station was on the way. She glared at it as we passed, knowing that it would create a lot of complications for her if she were to involve herself with them. As we passed through, the air smelled heavily of burnt metal. A metalworking factory was just a street away, crossing the state border into Illinois.

The downtown area was almost like an outdoor mall. Stores lined the streets for quite a while, stopping a ways down. Not just stores, though. Tax places, a few banks, many restaurants, car dealerships, all sorts of places, new and old. It was clearly an older part of town.

Celestia stared out the window. It wasn't even a few minutes before she said, "Phil, could we... perhaps... continue on... on foot?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah. Yeah, no problem."

I found a place for us to park and the two of us got out.

Celestia took in a smell of the air around her. She smiled. She stretched herself out, then sighed. "I was feeling rather cramped in there. This should be a lot better."

"That so?"

She looked around. "What an interesting little town you have."

We started down the street together. Celestia's smile was brightening my day.

"I've seen very little of this world so far. Your neighborhood is such a small part of it. And this is just a single town. If I didn't have to go home, I'd love to see more. It's exciting to see so many humans at one time. How many humans are there in this world? I didn't look that up in my studies."

"More than seven billion."

"Seven... billion... Truly?"

I nodded.

"Incredible... Wow... I couldn't even imagine seven billion humans. It's unfathomable. This world is so amazing. There's so much to learn. How many live here, in this town?"

"It's... I'd say it's pretty average. Last I checked, there were around 35,000 people living here."

"Amazing... Canterlot is one of our most populated cities, but this city almost has the same population as it. And you said it was average? What exactly is considered large?"

Bend over, I'll show ya. "Out east, New York City has over eight million people, I think it is."

"Inconceivable..."

"Yeah, it's a pretty crazy thought. Our country has 300 million or so. They gotta go somewhere."

She let out a chuckle. "Yes, that's certainly true. I often found myself concerned with the rapid population growth of my little ponies. This really puts it into perspective... The more I learn about this world, the more amazing it becomes."

She paused to look into a shop, then continued walking. I led her up and down the streets for quite a while. If she had a question, I would answer her as best I could, but other than that, she seemed to be enjoying the scenery. It almost seemed like she forgot about the mirror. I reminded her, but she just chuckled and told me not to worry.

Later in the day, Celestia let out a sigh, then went to sit on a nearby bench.

I joined her, asking, "What's up?"

She looked up. "I haven't found anything, yet. I'm starting to think that it's not here."

"It could be anywhere in this town. It might not even be in this town."

"I know... You don't have to say it. I still have faith. But... We've been out here for a long time. I'm getting tired. It's a strange feeling. I don't get tired like this as a pony. I miss Equestria. I've never been... I've never been trapped like this. It's great here, but..." Another sigh.

"Great, huh?"

She smiled. "It's so amazing to be in this world. I've been saying it a lot, but I truly mean it. I'm awed by it." She smiled at someone passing by, who gave back one of their own.

I looked to the sky. "Yeah, it can be pretty great, sometimes." I looked back to her.

"We should return home. It's getting late and I'm getting hungry." To emphasise her point, her stomach growled loudly. She bent over and covered her stomach with a hand, embarrassed.

"Sounds good." I stood up, then turned and offered her my hand. She took it and I pulled it to her feet.

I let go of her hand, not giving much thought to it as I turned to lead her back to the car. Well, she led me, but that's beside the point. I actually started down the wrong street before she corrected me.

Celestia and I returned home, where I made her some food. Nothing extravagant. Just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She still loved them.

We parted ways, with Celestia leaving to my room to go to bed. It was weird sleeping on the couch in my own home. I wanted my bed back...

August 24

"Oh, you seem ready to go." I said to her, noticing her sitting on the couch when I got back home, "I'm ready too, just say the..."

"Phil." she said to me, stopping me.

I waited for her to continue.

"The crystal mirror is only active for a few days at a time. Sadly, our deadline has passed, meaning that any more searching will be in vain."

"Man... Maybe I shoulda taken some time off from work to help you out."

She shook her head. "No, it isn't your fault. In truth, I didn't expect us to find anything at all."

"That's... kinda... disheartening."

"The crystal mirror is only functional for a few days at a time. When my student came to this world, she was able to return soon after she had arrived. I must wait thirty moons before I can return again."

I sighed. "That sucks."

"I have been unable to feel the presence of the mirror, but last night, I felt something strange. It was the unmistakable feeling of magic. I don't know what it meant. I can't use magic anymore, but my body is so used to using it. It's been difficult to adjust."

"Looks like you really are staying here, then."

"It looks like it. I'm afraid that I'll remain a burden to you for the next thirty moons."

I gave her a smile. "Come on, you know that's not true."

She looked down. "I know. Thank you, Phil."

"What are you gonna do now?"

"Nothing, I suppose."

"Nothing?"

She nodded. "What can I do?"

"I... I dunno. I guess you're doing nothing, then."

She tilted her head, a smile on her face. "Though... I am interested in this w..."

A knock on the door cut her off. A knock to the tune of Shave and a Haircut, with the last two notes being the handle turning and the door opening without waiting for a response.

"Hey what up, Phil?" asked the cheery guy who barged in, looking at me as he walked through my house without care. He passed Celestia without even noticing her and went directly for the kitchen.

"Yo, don't just show up!" I replied, "I coulda been cleaning the clarinet or something!" With the arrival of my friend, I accidentally let a dirty joke slip out in front of Celestia.

"Hey, I leave my gamecube controller here?" he asked me, ignoring my complaint.

"What? No, you... You never even brought it over."

"Yeah? Maybe not. I didn't look too hard."

I followed him to the kitchen doorway to see him going through my refrigerator. He pulled out a can of mountain dew and opened it.

"You come into my house, accuse me of having your controller, and now you're stealing my pop."

"I didn't have any at home."

"That doesn't mean you can just fu..." I stopped myself from swearing. "That doesn't mean you can just take my food."

"Oh, what was that? Cat got your dick? Anyways, here. I'm done with this." He reached into his pocket, then tossed something small and white at me. Despite its size, I managed to catch it. It was a USB flash drive I had let him borrow.

"Oh... Well, thanks." I pocketed it. "Was that all?"

"You wish." He said, heading back into the living room, taking a drink. It would prove to be a mistake, because as soon as he saw her, he spit some of it out. He swallowed, then coughed a few times. "Holy crap! Phil, who is this?"

"I'm me, who are you?" I asked him.

"No, you f..." He was not pleased with my joke. He stared at her for a little bit, then asked, "Who are you? Am I intruding on something?"

"No, no, of course not. My name is Celestia. And yours?"

"My name's... Uh... My name's Tristin. Celestia? What? Are... Are you a cosplayer or something? Well, obviously you are, but... Wow... You really put a lot of work into that."

"Why, thank you." she replied with a smile.

"Where'd you pick her up?" he asked me.

"Walmart."

"Oh yeah?" He looked back at her. "Man, you really look like her. Oh! You even got the eye color. Did... Wait a second... Pretty woman at Wal-Mart... Into costumes... Oh..." He paused. "What's your fee? Is it like hourly, or..."

"Tristin!" I yelled at him.

"What, I'm just asking!" He turned back to her. "He doesn't make you say anything weird, does he?"

"I will punch you." I threatened.

"What, is she your girlfriend or something?" He turned to her. "Are you his girlfriend?"

"No, I'm not." She chuckled.

"Ah, then it must be prostitute."

"Tristin, I swear to god, I will beat you! You really think I would pay for a woman when I barely even pay for my own things?"

"Yeah, I guess you do got a point there. You greedy fuck."

"Well, you did buy me clothing." said Celestia.

"You are not helping." I said, pointing to her.

She just smirked, knowing full well what was happening.

"So, what... Who is she?" he asked me.

"Just... New friend."

"Well, I've never heard about her. Did he meet you at a bar or something?" he asked.

"No, it's like he said. We met at a store."

"So you brought her here?" He looked back to me, then to her, then me again, then to her. "He didn't make you eat any eggs, did he?"

"I don't have any goddamn eggs!" I said to him. Speaking of, I needed eggs.

"You really met her at Walmart? Man, maybe I should spend some more time there."

Celestia giggled at us. "I like your friend." she said to me.

"Wow, you even sound like her, too." said Tristin, "Are you two being serious right now?"

"Of course. I'm always serious." she replied, a smile on her face.

"Same." I said.

"You're never fucking serious." he said to me.

"Yeah, that's fair. Glad one of us is, though."

"Like, dude... there is a supermodel sitting on your couch right now! What am I supposed to think here? That you didn't pay for her? You don't have this kind of game, man."

"Got more than you."

He laughed at me. "You've got as much game as a dead possum."

"Well at least my dick's not the size of a possum's. Uh... Sorry, Celestia..." I did it again. I need to watch my mouth around her.

Another laugh. "Fuck, ya got me there."

"Your penis is as small as a possum's?" asked Celestia. Maybe I wouldn't have to watch my mouth as much as I thought.

"What? No!" he quickly replied.

"Yeah, it's more like a rat." I said.

"Shut up, Phil!"

"I think I'd like to see that." Celestia said with an impish smile, "Should be funny."

"Well..." He shrugged. "Hear that? It's called game."

"It's not game if she laughs at it."

"You shut the hell up!"

Celestia laid back against the couch, laughing. "Well, it's nice to meet you too, Tristin."

He sighed. "This is... kinda crazy, though." He looked at me. "Usually you at least tell us if you get yourself a girlfriend."

"I am not his girlfriend." said Celestia, "Though our relationship may not be strictly professional, we haven't even known each other for more than a few days."

"Yeah, that's true." I said.

"Phil helped me out quite a bit when I became lost."

"You got lost at Walmart?"

"Please, it's embarrassing. I don't want to speak of it."

"Man... Nothing about this seems right." he said, "It's much easier to believe that you're a hooker."

"Believe what you will." she said, "I won't stop you."

"You sure don't seem to mind me calling you a prostitute."

"Tristin, be nice." I said.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways yeah, nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, Tristin." she said, a cute smile across her face, "So, you know of Equestria as well? You recognized me when you saw me, so I can only assume."

"Yeah, I watch the show. Haven't seen it in a while, though."

"Same." I said.

Celestia nodded. "Do any of your other friends... watch the show?" she asked.

"Yeah, a few of them." I said, shrugging.

"How interesting..."

"So, uh... Where do... Are you just passing through, do you live in town?" he asked.

"I'll be staying in town for the next month or so. Phil has offered me a place to stay while I'm here."

"Wait, you're... You're staying here?!"

"That's right."

"With him?" he asked, flabbergasted.

She nodded. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

"Ah... I... No, I guess not. I just didn't... Whatever, it's fine, it's fine."

"Phil has been helping me adjust to the area. I've been enjoying myself. It's such an easy life compared to before."

"What do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a Princess, of course." she replied without missing a beat.

"Uh, huh..." I could almost feel that he wanted to call her an idiot.

She just kept up her smile. When none of us said anything, Celestia stood up and said, "Excuse me for a moment, I'm going to get myself something to eat."

"You have fun." I said, moving out of her way towards my friend.

When she was out of earshot, my friend excitedly whispered to me, "She's so fucking hot, dude!"

"I know, man!" I whispered back.

"They're fucking huge, dude! Is there seriously nothing between you two? Does she... Does she pay rent?" An insinuation if I've ever heard one.

"No, she..."

"You better make a move soon, cause if you don't, I will."

"I can hear you talking about me out there!" she called to us, "What was that about 'paying rent'?"

"Uh, nothing!" I called back. I glared at him. "Idiot."

"Hey, she's the one with the big ass."

"Tristin, shut up."

"You're thinking the same thing I am."

"So? Doesn't mean you have to say it."

He smirked.

I sighed. "Oh! Dude, I got a new pair of headphones."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Trevor talked me into getting a pair."

"Any good?"

"Not as good as the ones I have."

"Mmm..." He nodded.

"You want them?"

"What?"

"I don't need them, you can have them."

"Really? Shit, alright. Works for me."

"Yeah, lemme get them for you." I retrieved the headphone box from my room and gave it to him.

He opened it and took them out, examining them.

"Happy birthday!" I said to him.

"My birthday was like half a year ago. You couldn't have been further away from my birthday."

"I forgot your present."

"You gave me some cash, didn't ya? Yeah, cause you told me not to blow it all on booze."

"Did you blow it all on booze?" I asked, a sly smile on my face.

"I'm sure I... tried not to."

"Alrighty then. Catch!" I tossed him my phone. He scrambled for it in the air, but it hit the floor with a clunk. I held in a laugh.

"Good fucking throw there, buddy." he replied. He picked it up and plugged the headphones in. He jumped as the music started, not expecting the high volume. "Jesus! Warn me next time."

"Sorry." I replied, indifferent to his suffering.

I could hear a song playing from the headphones. After a little bit, he took them back off and said, "Yeah, these are pretty good." He unplugged them and gave me my phone back. "Alright, nice."

He slipped the cord into his pocket and wore them around his neck as he sat down on the couch.

Celestia was standing in the doorway, looking at us while lazily chewing on a sandwich. She smirked. "Is my butt really that big?" she asked.

"Don't worry, it looks great." said Tristin.

"Well, thank you." she replied.

Celestia didn't seem to mind. She was a little bored right now, even I could see that.

"So, what do you do for a living?" she asked Tristin, "Phil manages a fast food restaurant, so he says, but what about you?"

"Uh... I work at that Staples out by Walmart."

"Oh, I know the building." she said.

"Yeah, yeah. Nothing special, you know."

"What do you two do for fun?" she asked.

"Video games, mostly." he said.

"Video games?"

"Yeah, video games. You play?"

"Um..."

"Nah, she doesn't." I spoke for her.

"Oh, ok."

"Is that it, then?" she asked, "Just... games?"

"We read." I said.

"I don't read."

"Manga counts as reading."

"Oh shit, you're right. Yeah, I read all the time."

"Ah, something we have in common! Even across worlds, we can share interests same as in Equestria. It's a strange thought. Perhaps humans and ponies aren't so different after all."

"Uh... Yeah... Man, I wish I could read more." he said, "Used to read all day, all night. Now I'm too busy."

"Yeah, I hear that." I said.

"You're usually more busy than I am. You know, this crazy guy used to work two jobs."

"Oh?" She seemed interested.

"Yeah, I was... I was a computer repair guy for... Yeah." I didn't want to get into it right now.

"You barely even had time for video games."

"Yeah, but that was a while ago." I said, "I still work harder than you do."

"Oh, no question there."

"You're too young to work that much." Celestia chimed in.

"Well, it's not like I had anything better to do. It was... a bit much, though."

"You haven't been online much recently, either. What's up with that?"

I pointed at Celestia as if it couldn't have been any more obvious.

"Casual." he stated, "You're letting that thing rot down there, all alone."

"Hmm?" Celestia gave us a curious look.

"He has a gaming computer downstairs."

"A... gaming computer..." She clearly didn't understand.

"Have you seen it?" he asked.

"I've... seen it, yes. Phil told me that he kept his valuable possessions downstairs, so I avoided it. I wanted to be careful."

"Oh... Well... I appreciate it." I said, "There's that, then there's the washing machine. And the drier."

"Not terribly exciting, one would think." she said.

"I don't know Celestia, the washing machine is pretty exciting." Tristin said as a joke.

"Washing machines don't excite me as much as you may think." she said, followed by a small giggle.

"Yeah, not a lot exciting here." I said.

"There are many interesting things here." she said.

"Well... I guess. To be fair though, I've kinda been living with all this excitement for a while."

"That is true." she said with a smile.

"Mmm... It's hot in here." I said, "Did you mess with the thermostat while I was at work?"

"No, I didn't touch it." she replied.

"I like it hot." said Tristin.

"That's because you weigh like 90 pounds." I said to him.

"I don't weigh 90 pounds, you weigh 90 pounds."

"I weigh 90 pounds more than 90 pounds more than 90 pounds."

"You weigh 270 pounds?" he asked.

"No, I don't weigh 270 pounds."

"What do you weigh? I bet I'm close."

"Like 230."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I'm like 180."

"I got muscles." I said.

"Pfft..." He stifled a laugh.

"I got bigger muscles than you."

"Yeah, fair enough."

"I go to the gym."

He let out a sarcastic, "Oh."

We both snickered.

"I bet you had to cancel like eight trips to the gym for this." he said.

"Eight? More like nine. I just go so many times. I don't even do anything, I just show up. Say, 'I'm at the gym!' Call all my friends, let them know I'm at the gym. Like, 'Hey Joe, I don't know if we had anything planned today, but I can't do it because I'm going to the gym. I'm actually there right now. Gonna do some labs, crunches...'"

He started cracking up. "Labs."

"You know, abs and lats. Just combine words because you can't spare a single moment because you're at the gym. Any moment at the gym should be spent working on my delts and tris and treps..."

"Treps?"

"Yeah."

"What's a trep?" he asked.

"Triceps."

"You said tris."

"Worked 'em twice."

He let out a laugh.

"But I don't wanna be redundant." I said, "That's one of my tricks. Refer to the same muscle group seven different times by fictional abbreviations. Who even knows? Most of the people I talk to are nerds who don't know anyway."

"You're a nerd."

"Course I am. That's why the company that I keep doesn't know anything. I don't even know anything. I just go in there and start pushing things. People, machines, doesn't matter. It's all there for me to be... jacked."

We laughed at each other for a short while. Celestia seemed amused by our antics as well.

"Are you always like this?" she asked after we had calmed ourselves.

"Ah, more or less."

"You two are so different from my usual company. So much more bearable."

"Bet that's the best compliment you've gotten from a woman in a long time, ey Phil? Bearable."

I replied with a jokingly loud, defensive, "So?!"

He laughed again. "Ah, fuck... Boss, what time is it?"

"I dunno. Like six. Seven, maybe."

"I gotta get headed home soon."

"Mmm... Taking off?"

"Yeah, I should." He stretched his arms in the air and let them drop. "Alright. See ya, Phil."

"See ya."

"And goodbye, Celestia."

"Goodbye, Tristin. It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too."

He left through the front door, leaving the two of us alone.

"He stole my soda." I said aloud.

"He seemed nice." said Celestia.

"Yeah, he's nice."

"So... What is a... video game?"

"It's... ah... It's hard to explain. You know that laptop you've been using?"

She nodded.

"It's... a game that is played on that. A computer."

Her head tilted to the side. "Alright..."

"They're... Hold on, I'll just look up the definition." I got out my phone and quickly searched the term, 'video game'. "A video game is an electronic game that involves interaction with a user inter... interface to generate visual... feedback on a video device such as a TV screen or computer monitor. Is that... still too complicated?"

"I suppose I understand. Perhaps you could give me an example."

"That's a thought. Later though. I gotta... I gotta do laundry first."

"Oh, ok." Her bright smile still covered her face. She didn't have a care in the world.

Well... time to get to washing her dirty clothes. Celestia picked up the laptop again as I went downstairs. There were two sets downstairs by the time I started cleaning them, as well as a set of my own.

'Handle with care' does not mean 'throw in washer and forget about it.' As I picked up her clothes, I noticed that her delicates were meant to be washed differently than normal clothing. Her new delicates had the size and washing instructions, but the original ones were blank. I would have to directly handle her underwear and clean them separate from the normal clothes instead of balling them all together and just tossing them in. It was a somewhat uncomfortable experience for me.

Her bra was huge. The cups were each almost the size of my head... And no, I didn't test that theory. It was... well it was impressive, to say the least. No size tags, like she said. How strange...

Laundry was a long and boring process. I waited for the washer and dryer to finish while talking to Celestia. We didn't talk about anything important, but I found myself repeating what she said in my head.

After making sure her underwear was treated correctly, I returned upstairs, laundry basket in my arms.

When I entered the front room, Celestia asked, "Would you like me to help you with that?"

"Hmm? Oh, no. I got it." I replied without thinking, pushing the bedroom door open with the plastic basket.

"Well, alright. If you say so."

It actually sounded like she wanted to help. Mistakes have been made.

I folded her shirts and pants neatly and put them into the drawer I had cleared out for her. I paused as I went to close it. Something about looking into a strange woman's clothing drawer reminded me of the eternal words of Patrick Star... It's not a panty raid, I swear!

My clothes, I were less kind to. They were folded carelessly and dropped into whichever drawer they belonged.

I walked back to the front room, empty basket in hand.

"Did you find anything interesting in there?" she asked me.

I stopped in my tracks, looking at her like a kid caught in the act.

"If you're going to ogle my undergarments, you should at least close the door first." She chuckled, looking back to the computer with the same pleasant smile as before.

"Sorry." She didn't actually seem to mind, which I was thankful for.

"Don't worry about it." she offhandedly replied.

I returned the basket to its place downstairs. I saw that Celestia had placed the laptop onto the table when I got back up.

She looked up to me before yawning. "Ahh... Doing nothing all day can be so exhausting."

"Got that right."

"I suppose now is as good a time as any to go to bed. What do you think?"

I shrugged. "You're kinda on my bed right now, so I don't have the option."

"Oh, you're right! I'm sorry. I don't often spend my time on a man's bed like this." She bashfully covered her mouth with a hand, slyly looking away. "Oh, look at me, a Princess making such jokes. I'm sorry. I can't enjoy these freedoms in Equestria." She yawned again. "I'll get up."

She walked past me into the bathroom to brush her teeth before retiring to the bedroom for the night. We bade each other a good night before she closed the door behind her.

September 1

"Hello, Phil!" she said with a smile as I got home.

"Have you been sitting there all day? You were there when I left."

"I have! All day! I'm hungry, can you make me a sandwich?"

"Have... Have you eaten?"

"What? Of course I have. What do you take me for?"

"Right, right. Sorry."

She just smiled her same smile.

I got Celestia a meal and joined her on the couch. "So what now?"

"Hmm?" Her mouth was full.

"Now that you can't search for your mirror, you're just kinda stuck here."

She swallowed before responding. "It's not all bad. I'm enjoying my time off. I did enjoy the trips that we took, though."

"That so? I suppose there's still more I can show you."

"How nice. You know, it's a strange feeling, being around you."

"Yeah?"

She smiled. "Staying with a man that cares and provides for me... It's almost as if we're a married couple."

"Uh..."

She chuckled. "I'm sorry. You have the funniest face when you're embarrassed."

I sighed. "Anyways, yeah. There are still some things you haven't seen. And hey, maybe later, we can go on a picnic!"

She gasped loudly, bringing her hands close to her face. "Oh, my goodness! That sounds wonderful! Are... Are we going now?" Her excitement filled the room.

"Soon. We'll have to prepare, first. I'm gonna go get some snacks for ya." I got up and started towards the kitchen, then stopped. "You didn't eat them all again, did you?"

"Should I not have?"

"Aw, really?" I walked out and opened the cabinet. They were all still there. Almost all. "Again, you have made a fool out of me."

I heard her giggle. "Oh, It's been so long since I've had an actual picnic." There was a certain fondness in her voice.

"Yeah, same here."

"I'd usually have one with my sister, but our guards are very obtrusive. Don't tell any of them I said this, but sometimes they can get annoying."

"I don't think you'll have to worry about me telling them anything."

She chuckled. "I suppose. Are there any places with a good view?"

"I might be able to find something like that."

"Oh, I feel so free. No guards following me, no little ponies to look up to me. I'm not expected to do the right thing every minute of my life..."

"Well, I still expect you to do the right thing." I said, poking my head through the doorway.

She sighed. "If I made a mistake in Equestria, a whole nation could be affected. It's more stressful than you may think. Here, if I made a mistake, nobody would be there to judge me. But... I loved it. I loved my life as Princess. Seeing the smiling faces of my subjects as the sun rose day after day..." She sighed again.

"Sounds fun." I replied, returning to the kitchen. I already had a plan brewing for the rest of the night.

Celestia was eagerly waiting for me on the couch, almost like a dog about to go for a walk to the park. I had a plastic bag with food inside in one hand, my keys in the other. "Ready to go?"

She nodded, a smile on her face. "I'm ready."

The two of us headed to the car. I set the snack bag in the back seat as I got in. She immediately reached back and took out a Twinkie. I stared at her as she unwrapped it.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

I rolled my eyes, turning away.

She took a bite of it as we left the driveway. "So, where are we going?"

She has no idea where we were going, yet got in the car without a second thought. She's cute when she's innocent.

"Oh, just... around. It's not a very big town, you've seen a lot of it. But there are some things that we've missed."

"I like doing this." she said, looking out the window, "It's like a vacation."

I didn't even answer her.

This time, I drove south, crossing the nearby state border to show her the rest of the surrounding area. There wasn't too much down there, but there was enough to fill time. Celestia's gaze was fixed to the window. She was still having fun.

I heard rummaging in the back seat. Celestia was eating again. After a short while, she let out a loud, "Phil!"

I jumped, which was very unsafe as a driver. "Y-Yeah?"

"There aren't any left!" she said to me, shaking the empty bag.

I glanced at her. Really? "Is that so? What a tragedy... Whatever shall we do?" I jokingly asked.

"How can we have a picnic without food?" she asked, a worried tone in her voice.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Celestia. I have a plan."

"A plan?" She smiled. "What is it?"

"To get more pizza!" I said with a celebratory attitude.

She gasped. "That sounds great... I rather liked it cold."

"You'll like it even better fresh."

She gave me a wide smile.

I stopped the car before calling in a large pie with nothing good on it. They said it'd be ready in a little while, which gave me a little more time with Celestia

"It's nearing nighttime." she said to me, looking up to the sky. The sun was close to the horizon right now. The sky was a warm amber.

"Yeah, it looks like it." I replied, "Pizza should be ready soon enough."

"That's not soon enough." she said to me. She giggled.

I just drove her around a little more before we headed to the restaurant. I passed by an older section of town, which she liked. Then again, she likes everything. Especially pizza.

"I'll be back. Wait here." I told her.

"Can't I come in?" she asked.

"Oh... Yeah, absolutely. Oh, but... um... They have meat here, as well. So..."

"We aren't getting any, are we?"

I'm not, you might... "Nope. I just wanted you to know. I only got us a plain cheese, anyways. I don't usually go for ones with meat."

"Plain cheese sounds boring."

"But it's so good."

Her smile still hadn't disappeared.

The heavy pizza flavored aroma of the restaurant immediately hit us as we opened the door.

"Oh, it smells delicious!" Celestia let out with glee on her face.

I paid for our meal and we returned to the car.

"This smells so good..." she said to me in the car, holding the pizza on her lap.

"No eating in the car, you'll make a mess." I said to her.

"I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself..."

Thankfully, she managed to make it to my destination without opening the box.

I took Celestia to a park near the town college. It was out of the way, so it was usually empty even though there was a playground on it.

Like she wanted, it had a nice view.

"How does it look?" I asked, parking nearby.

"It's perfect."

She carried the pizza box with her as we found a spot. Her eyes stared over the field.

"You know, I've never actually been here before." I said to her.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I pass by it all the time, but I've never stopped here. Here's a good spot." It was no different from any other part of the area.

"Looks good." She smiled at me. "We can get a good view of the sunset from here. Did you plan all this?"

"I planned the pizza." I said, shrugging.

She sat in the grass, looking at the horizon. She opened the box as I sat. The two of us got a slice each to start off with.

"This is really, really good." she said after taking a bite.

"You got that right."

We ate in silence for a while. It was actually pretty nice. After a few pieces, she turned to me. "So... was this a date?" she asked, mouth full of food.

I looked to her, my eyes wide. "Where did... that come from?"

"It just seems like it is. Is it?"

"Uh... I... Yeah, I... I guess it is." What an embarrassing question. "I mean, I don't think it started out like that, but I think it turned into one at some point."

"That's what I thought, too." She chuckled. "Are you sure it didn't start out like that? You seemed to have the whole day planned out."

"Well, I didn't think about it like a date." Am I lying about that?

Another chuckle. "Don't worry, I'm not mad."

"Hmm?"

"Why should I be?"

"Fair enough."

"In fact, I think I'll take it as a compliment. 'Why does he want to date me? Is it my personality, my sense of humor, my looks...' It's always a mystery with you men. Though I personally don't understand the looks. I am a pony, after all."

"Well... you are beautiful, Celestia. It's not... Uh... Nevermind."

"Is that so? How nice." She reached for the box for another piece and took a bite. "This is fantastic." She continued talking with a full mouth. "So, is that how it works here? A man takes a woman around town and buys her pizza and then she sleeps with him?"

"Celestia, oh my god!"

"What?"

"Of course that's not how it works!"

"So how does it work?"

"How does what work?"

"You know, your human courtship rituals."

"Human wha... What in the hell are you talking about?"

She laughed.

"Why are you asking me this?!"

She kept laughing. "Because it's so funny! Your reactions are priceless! You should see how red your face is right now."

"C'mon, don't do that to me."

"You're the one who's taking me on a date."

"Who cares what it is!?"

"Then why did you say it was?"

"You shut up!"

More laughter. She laid back in the grass, holding her hands over her stomach. I sighed. I guess it was pretty funny. Her laugh was so cute.

"Ohh, my stomach..." She let out a few more small chuckles as she calmed down. After a small while, she spoke again. "I'm sorry. It's not right of a Princess to say these things. I suppose that I am rather flattered you think this way."

"What?"

"We're both adults, are we not? We can make our own decisions. And... My decision is... to be... flattered."

"I feel like I'm getting some mixed signals, here."

"Hmm... Perhaps I'm not as good at this 'flirting' thing as I thought I was. It has been a while." She finished her piece of pizza and got another.

"And I thought you were just messing with me."

"Perhaps I was."

"You were!"

Another laugh. "Yes, I suppose you're right. Still, I feel it needs to be said, I'm not necessarily rejecting you."

"You're... not?"

"I am an object of beauty in Equestria, as well, and as such, I'm no stranger to advances of this nature. With my position as a Princess though, I was not approached very often. I can't spend time with a man without my guards breathing down our necks. Guess how long it's been since I've been on a date, Phil."

"Uh... five... years?" The look on her face told me that I was clearly wrong. "Ten years? Fifteen? Fifty? A hundred? More?"

She nodded. "It has been a very long time, Phil. And out of nowhere, you appear in my life and take me on a date within the first week of meeting me." She sat back up, focusing on me as she spoke. "Even if it didn't start as one, I'm still enjoying it."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, Celestia." Her big, purple eyes were so beautiful... I looked away, still feeling embarrassed. "Should we just go home? This got really awkward for me."

"Awkwardness makes things interesting, don't you think?"

"Mmm..."

"You know, you're fun to embarrass."

"So I've been told."

She got another piece. I wasn't hungry anymore. Soon enough, she had devoured the rest of it.

"Geez, you get enough?" I asked her.

"I could ask you the same thing. You barely ate any."

"I wasn't that hungry."

She gave me a smile. "Alright, I'm sorry for teasing you. I was just kidding around."

I looked to her.

"You know, you're a strange person, Phil."

"Me?! I'm a strange person?" I jokingly burst out.

She started laughing again. "Don't make me laugh, I'm full of pizza!"

I chuckled to myself. Her laugh made me happy.

She sighed. "Oh... What a night..." She turned her head to look at the sunset, then sighed again. "You planned this down to the time it would take for us to eat the pizza... Amazing..."

I actually had no idea...

The two of us stared at the sun for a while. Celestia gave me a glance, then lowered herself back onto the grass. She laid her arms behind her head and gazed at the dimming sky.

I joined her, laying next to her. When she got up, we would leave.

"You know, if this really was a date, I think it went well." she said.

Even after all these years, watching the sunset was still amazing. The top of the sun dipped under the horizon, but Celestia didn't move.

It was getting dark. We sure have been here for a while... Her breathing had changed without my noticing.

"Celestia?"

No response. Is she... I reached over and poked her on the cheek. She's sleeping. Why is she sleeping? I poked her again. You gotta be kidding me, lady.

I let out a sigh. Fine... I got up and took care of our mess, then opened the car door.

I approached the sleeping Princess, my first thought to just carry her. Looking at her now though, she was a massive woman. I wouldn't be able to do this without some trouble.

"Are you really asleep or are you just messing with me? 'Cause I'm gonna pick you up if you don't say something."

No response. Well... Celestia's an understanding woman. She won't be mad if I wake her by doing this.

It took a little careful maneuvering, but I soon picked her up and carried her to the car. Funny, I was carrying a Princess with a 'Princess carry'.

She was really, really heavy. What if she wasn't asleep? She strikes me as the kind of person to joke about that. I buckled her in and took off for home.

The streets were empty at this time of night. I always liked empty streets. I didn't trust other drivers. However, I did notice a pair of headlights in my rear-view mirror taking the same route as me.

As I got close to home, I turned off of the main road onto a side street, as I always did. The car turned down the street as well. After this, it made its own turn. I felt like an idiot. Every time someone makes the same turn as me, I think they're following me.

When I finally pulled into my driveway, I shut off the car and looked at Celestia.

"C'mon Celestia, tell me you're awake." I said, not loud enough to wake her, but loud enough for her to hear me.

No response. Just her quiet breathing.

Right then...

After making sure the path to her bed was clear, I brought her inside. I gently lowered her onto my bed and covered her in the blankets.

Her forehead was so exposed... No, no... Come on, it's just a little kiss, she won't care... No, I can't. No... I pushed these thoughts out of my head.

I walked back out and closed the door on the car, then finally went back inside.

I grumbled to myself for no real reason. That car from earlier... Come on Phil, stop getting annoyed at other drivers, it's so petty...

Oh, I'm so stupid... I should've kissed her cheek while we were laying in the grass...