First of Three

Princess Celestia's bedroom, as one may expect, was a grand one.

Connected with a full-room wardrobe, private bathroom a balcony, and made out of two oval parts connecting one another, with the rear one having the balcony, and containing a grandiose "Princess-size" Balldachine bed, two bedside chest of drawers and slumbering tile stove, and a front, "langue" part, complete with a cabinet full of exotic beverages, a personally designed fireplace, full room floor carpet with additional, stuffy carpets to sit or lay on, several bookcases full of books - first editions, last ever released issues, autographed ones by ponies that have long since passed by, ones that are forgotten, ones that were never translated (properly), ones that were one of their kind. But the most recently (and frequently) read ones were those which had been banned.

Banned books were rare in Equestria, or rather, it was rare that a book found itself banned, and when it did, for some reason, it found itself sitting awkwardly on large empty shelves, locked away behind break-proof glass, in the shadowy corner of the library nopony dared (or was allowed) to wander.

The books that occupied such shelves (a mystery why the libraries even bothered to buy them, but I guess everyone needs a hobby) where the ones that were deemed "too dangerous to be read by mortals". Not simply fillies, colts or foals (that restriction belonged to the popular, "cool" books of the Adult Section), or just ponies (that would've been the Griffon cookbooks).

No.

Banned books could only be read by immortals.

There weren't many of them.

In fact, by number, they made up only a fifth of the amount of "Outdated" books.

The most common reason a book was banned in Equestria was "being too dangerous to (pony) society" - well, so claimed the snooty officials from the Ministry of Finance, well-known for their top hats, pin-stripe suits, stinky cigars, monocles, obesity, nasty grins, and their secret agenda (and by agenda, I mean collective wet dream) to tip Equestria from "being" a meritocracy into a plutocracy. In the last few decades, following several consequent economic crises, said pin-stripe suit wearing, cigar chomping, monocled, obese, nasty grinned individuals were handed over to the authorities of Stalliongrad Oblast, up in the autonomous norther region (colloquially known as the "Union of Councils" for most), as part of a mandatory "educational" tour (and a secret alignment between Celestia (and later, Luna, Cadance and Twilight) and the Supreme Council in Mosscow). In return, young, impressionable, shiny eyed, open minded and hard-working trainee economists came over to continue their studies in sociology and finances in the equine country's capital, and contribute a bit as well - which, for some, explained the stable, and sometimes, even blossoming economy of 'The Empire of the Sun and the Moon' in the recent years.

But we're getting off topic..

So, the Day Princess' bedroom, the abode of the Sun Goddess, a scenery that had seen (and suffered) the sight of countless... Well, not exactly countless, but numerous... OK, they're weren't exactly numerous...

Sooo, a scenery that has witnessed quite a lot of actions...

Since the last year, I mean.

There, in the center of the room, on the stuffy circle carpet, by now, was literally imprinted by her form, sat Princess Celestia... Reading a book.

Nothing special, just a book. By the firelight.

What was more interesting was the serpentine, yet muscular, furry creature lopping around her frame, quietly pretending to be asleep, it's mismatched limbs twitching sometimes, as if he was actually dreaming.

Celestia shifted her weight.

The creature opened one eye, halfway.

"You're reading that book again, 'Tia?" he murmured, closing his eye once more "You do know it's almost lethally inaccurate..."

"It's still a... Good read..." the princess reasoned. The being laying around her furrowed his outstanding brows.

"It's a piece of bucking trash..." it growled "The only recipes that were SOMEWHAT correct where the ones detailing how to make certain psychoactive hallucinogenic substances..."

"Funny you should say that..." Celestia grinned "I always wondered just how you got ponies to enjoy your... Works, so to speak... Seems like I found the answer."

The being's eyes popped open, as he stared at the mare, bewildered. The goddess smirked.

"Gotcha!"

Discord rolled his eyes.

"Oh please..." he muttered, stretching a bit "That book is an utter disgrace to the only ideology - if it can be called that -, that, at least, tries to work with the merits of Chaos."

"Mmmm-hmmm..."

"Which brings me to an intriguing discovery I have made, recently."

"Mmmm-hmmm..."

"It's simple, really..."

"Mmmm-hmmm..."

"You're not paying attention, aren't you?"

"Mmmm-hmmm..."

"Insufferable harlot!"

"..."

"..."

"...Mmmmmmm-hmmmmmm..."

Discord sighed. Then went on:

"Anyways, it's about that book that you're reading..."

"...Mmmmmmm-hmmmmmm..."

"And several others..."

"...Mmmmmmm-hmmmmmm..."

"I came to notice that they all seem to revolve around the same notion..."

"Mmmmm-h--" Celestia froze.

"Quite a curious one if you ask me, especially since we're talking about one of the rulers of Equestria, the Princess of the Sun and one of the harbingers of Harmony..." Discord began to smirk "Funny... One might say that I've been..."

And he leaned very close to her ear, breathing in:

"Rubbing off... On you..."

It took the blushing deity about half a minute before she replied:

"Well I've seen you with another certain book... The one that Twilight gave you on your last birthday..."

It was Discord's turn to freeze.

"I recall that you discarded it immediately, claiming that it's of no use to you, the EMBODIMENT of Chaos, to divulge in such petty things as politics. It surprised us then, although it really shouldn't have, after all, you, out of all of us, are the least impressed by everyday ponies..."

The Princess' smirk grew wider.

"Which is exactly why it came as a surprise, seeing you reading about the most famous insurgents of international history."

The draconequus blushed slightly, and the alicorn just had to chuckle at that.

"You seemed quite interested. I've never seen you ogle so much at a book with so few pictures before." she mused "It actually, genuinely made me..." and she stopped.

"Made you?" Discord asked, impishly. He was back in game.

"Made me kinda..."

"Kind-a?"

"Kinda-sorta... A little bit... Jealous."

"Excuse me?"

"It made me a bit jealous."

"What was that you said? Did I hear... 'Jealous'?" Discord's grin grew wide.

"Oh, BUCK you!"

"How rude! I was merely asking if I had heard it correctly!" the chimera muttered, pretending to be offended "Jealous! 'Tia, you know me... A books NOT going to entertain me for long."

"Oh?" the Princess asked, playfully. It was her turn to lean closer. "Well, you know, after all I've read, it shouldn't be much of a surprise if I'd... Show up on the other side of the barricade..."

"...Go on."

"I mean, I bet Luna would be shocked."

"Not that much, I believe. We all know how impulsive you can get - your sister especially. Besides, after reading the titles of the books SHE'S been reading, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd join you in the great free-form stone-tossing competition. After all, you both seem to leaning towards the same side..."

Celestia had to smirk.

"Just imagine... Me the eldest, among the rabble, disposed of my royal jewelry, tiara and such, clad in nothing, but a hoodie - probably skin-tight, as most mass products don't come in my.. Stature."

"Do you mean, "size"?" the God of Chaos asked, mordantly.

"Hush, don't ruin the moment..." the Sun Goddess scoffed, continuing her daydream "Among the rabble, hurdling pieces of pavement and bottles of fire at the riotponies and, subsequently, at the fat cats in the back room."

"Do you mean, "behind the throne"?" Discord wasn't giving up.

"I said hush!" the princess ordered indignantly "I'd love to fight among the many against the few, even if I AM part of the few."

"A small triviality." the chimera muttered "It must be pain, being bound to the whip when you want to tug the harness."

"It is..." she replied, still daydreaming "Yes... Nothing would make me happier..."

"Nothing?" he asked, kinkily, pulling the loop of his body close around her form.

"Well... Almost nothing..." the alicorn smiled "Just imagine, me covered in sweat, as I raise a hailstorm of cobble stones above my head, bursting through a line of plastic shields, batons rebounding from my body like mere corks popping out from bottles. Shop windows shatter as I trash about, black flag held by my magic, using it as stick to knock out any cops or skullheads that creep close by...."

"Stop it, Celestia, you're giving my imagination a painful hard-on." Discord growled, biting the mare's ear.

"Only your imagination?" she chuckled coyly, as his body coiled up around her, their lips finally meeting...

A sign appeared, outside on Celestia's door.

It read: 'Do not disturb.'

And underneath it, scribbled on hastily with a black marker:

"Iz having sexy time!!!"