First of Three

The room smelled of sex.

...Well, this is off to a very good start...

Let me rephrase myself:

The room smelled of sex and bathing, significantly better than the previous state, as the bathing part meant the ones committing "the Act" were kind enough to shower (together, of course), so now, they were clean, dried and cuddly, enjoying the lingering post-intercourse euphoria (which, of course, lasts longer for deities).

Celestia lied, comfortable, on her poofy lying carpet, her fur standing on edge - without proper conditioning, her royal coat had a tendency to puff up into a fluffy mess, once the hair drier had traced her. But her fur was short, so all it did was give her a thicker outline, which foals liked to dig into with their cute little faces - and leave a trail of drool and booger.

Not quite comfortable or regal, but the Princess loved it, anyway - her "Open" days, when ponies could visit her in her study were the best! She could answer all the questions her subjects had in mind (that she COULD answer), and see into what the newest generation of colts and fillies was into. She could see the very same pony, from his or her foalhood, growing into an adult, then aging into an elder. She never attended funerals. Ever. It would've been to much.

Discord was another was the usual occupant of the furry meadow the Princess of the Sun possessed around herself. Coiled around her body, holding her close, but not uncomfortably tight, his face next to her,

They were snoozing, too content with themselves and with each other to care about the sound of the door opening, as eight hooves made their way across the carpet, stopping before them.

Lazily , they both open one eye, to meet with the astounded gaze of the two young mares - heck, they barely left their fillyhood, well, at least, compared to them.

They ogled at the pair with such intensity, that the two lovers began to fear that their eyes will pop out of their sockets - as funny as it was when Discord did it, when others tried to repeat this stunt, it always ended nastily.

So, they sat up - well, Celestia sat up, whilst Discord freeloaded the change in position, not letting go of the Princess. The whole scene was quite comforting, for a distant observer, at least. The two older, but not elderly beings, staring back down at the surprised young ones in peace and utmost hospitality.

A comforting scene.

Until Trixie spoke up:

"That tooth can't be very comfortable while kissing."

Twilight stared at her in utter disbelief.

The two deities just snickered.

"Oh, believe me, it is." Celestia smirked "If he'd wash it properly."

"I don't see your argument." the draconequus quipped "It's a mouth-to-mouth square meal every time!"

The nauseated look on the two mares in front of them made them snicker even more.

"B-But, with all seriousness..." Celestia chuckled, making her mate burst into a fit of guffaw, while she herself found it harder and harder to resist the temptation of irony "But with all seriousness... What brings you two here?"

After fighting down the urge to PUKE EVERYWHERE, ALL OVER THE SURFACE OF THE PLANET vomit, Twilight explained:

"We're here because we need your opinion on a certain topic."

"Oh? And what would that be?" Discord asked.

"I was talking to my mentor, Discord." Twilight replied coldly, before shrugging "But I guess your opinion would count in the lot as well..."

"Glad to be of your service." the chimera replied with stinging sarcasm. Trixie sighed, and stepped forward.

"To get ahead of any meaningless hissy-fits..." she said, snapping at the young princess and the chaos spirit "We'd like to ask your majesty and her royal advisor about the nature of our progress, specifically..."

Trixie was good at building tension - the sun goddess and the god of chaos leaned forward.

"...Up until now, who is the better student between the two of us?"

They took aback.

"The... Better... Student?" Celestia muttered, before regaining her composure "Wouldn't that decision require the presence of Princess Luna?"

"Not necessarily." Twilight replied "As my and Sunset Shimmer's former teacher, and as my mentor, and not to mention being the leading figure of  billions of equines and alike, it is safe to believe that you have a keen eye for personal progress."

"And we'd also like to know Discord's opinion."

"...Mine?!" the chimera spluttered, before growing a grin  6 hoof long "How honoring..."

"Oh, please..." Twilight retorted coldly "Save your sappy, sarcastic sentiments for your own tombstone, Discord."

"You sure are unusually vindictive towards him..." Trixie muttered "You weren't even this repulsed by me when I took over Ponyville. Is it the fact he managed to separate you and your friends so severely? I don't study friendship, but even I can tell that that, indeed, can happen to any group of friends, without the "divine" intervention of the God of Chaos..."

She sniffed.

"Of course, no wonder you cling onto your friendships, considering that while OTHERS make friendships au naturel, you had to learn it, and learn it so badly that your teacher was the mistress of Equeatria's Foreign Relations Management, and our sole Princess for a thousand years, no less!"

Celestia gawked. Discord hissed - that was a low blow.

"Disregarding the massively protruding level of social awkwardness, and your periodic sprees of OCD, which doesn't help the aforementioned social disabilities one bit, I may ad, the necessity of the Princess to constant watch over you, which leaves her with so little precious time to deal with the country's needs, isn't exactly a reassuring past for a supposed heir of the throne." the unicorn polished her hoof on her chest "Ah well, grooming, in it's finest form, takes time and effort."

"G-GROOMING?!" Twilight screeched, making the two deities cringe "Fancy coming from a pretentious attention-whore, well, only attention-whore in those rare sprees of success! You lived your life, making a living on the road, and who knows, maybe on your back, and you tell me I'm awkward?! I may not be the most street-wise known pony, but at least MY mother is proud of my achievements! Although, after seeing her foal, I wouldn't be surprised if YOUR mother was impressed by your "success"--!"

That was as far as she got, before a blue and indigo thunderbolt introduced the wall to her.

Looking up, she saw a unicorn, glowing in an eye-piercing neon blue color, with arches of electricity soaring over her body - paling in comparison with her crest and tail, which looked like two great bundles of electrical fire.

"Don't. You. Ever. DARE! To traduce my mother's name!" she roared. Her voice crackling as if she was talking trough an echoey, reverberant, feedback-afflicted megaphone - it hurt the ears of all the others present.

And with a bright flash, she was her usual self again - except a bit... Colder...

With legs tightly beside one another, her back straight and her head held high, she looked down at the wrecked young princess from under lowered eyelids - and you know what? There was no acting in that. She just happened to take up that pose.

Discord watched with interest - so did Celestia, with an obvious hint of guilt and shame.

"It would be unruly if Equestria's youngest princess would die so suddenly." the unicorn hissed "But besmirching my mother as your ONLY form of rebuttal to my deduction of what I've perceived about you will only get you closer to the grave."

"So... Who is the better student?"

The two mares turned their looks towards the chimera, surprised.

"We have to forget about Twilight's past studentship under Celestia, or "her" achievement in becoming a Princess."

The others raised an eyebrow over the emphasis. Well, rather, the placement of it.

"In terms of effort, you're of equivalent value." he explained "In terms of success, Twilight has an unfair advantage in having her success linked to her fate."

Discord thought for a moment

"The favoritism of Fate itself has always been a sore spot for me." he muttered "One could say the reason I became the God of Chaos to get back at fate itself by destroying it's arrangement, but the arbitrary bugger just dodges every time. Oh well. I'll get it one day."

His voice hardened.

"One day,"

Upon noticing their puzzled looks, he went on:

"Nevertheless, the "weight" of the effort they put into studying alone cannot form a proper answer. Thus, we have to result to the most obvious, most radical and controversial the mortal mind has ever created and embraced through the course of history: personal opinion!"

And with that, Discord sat back, saying:

"I don't have one."

The two mares then turned to Celestia.

She took a deep breath...

"Let me tell you a story..."

"Here we go again..."

"Discord?"

"Yeah?"

"Shush."