Dead and Gone

by Megapwny

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Tragedy, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life
Length: 6100

Fluttershy's death leaves the rest of the mane six in disarray... with their quiet, gentle friend gone, who will help keep the group together?

When Fluttershy passes away due to terminal illness, the rest of the mane six are devastated to say the least. With their quiet, gentle, animal loving friend now gone, who will keep the group together?

Collab with Br0nyb0y123, Scalor barracuda cyborg, Chrono_Ryono and Bookworm Guardian

Cover art by: Sakura

Now Celestia's Library approved!!!

[img]http://tinyurl.com/llaz5ct[/img]

[A/N: I would like to thank everyone for helping me do this. It really means a lot and I hope we can do something like this again some time. For those of you who are just random readers, the chapters are written from the titular character's POV in first person narrative. Just letting you know so that it doesn't get confusing.]

EDIT March 24/14: Oh... My... God... It happened. One, single dislike. Who did it? Because whoever it was, you sir/madam have balls of steel.

Published 2014-01-01 01:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-01 01:20:06 UTC

Rainbow Dash

Chapter 1: Rainbow Dash.

Written by: MrDevastation101

I watch as the coffin slowly descends into the six-foot-deep hole in the ground. All the while, I can only think of; Why? Why did she have to die? Why did this have to happen to Fluttershy? I used to be proud. Prouder than most, and it was all because Fluttershy was there to encourage me and help me get through all those times I had lost faith in myself.

My name is Rainbow Dash. I was, no, I am the fastest flier in Equestria. But now I don't really feel like it... Fluttershy's death is hitting us all hard, me more than anypony else though. Fluttershy and I grew up together, and when we left Cloudsdale to come live in Ponyville, we traveled together.

We weren't fillyfriends or anything like that, we were just close. Some thought we may have been sisters, but I can assure you that we weren't.

The coffin hits the bottom of the hole with a dull thud, and the stallions with the shovels start to pour the dirt on top of the coffin, burying our now dead friend. Applejack stands beside me, crying. I extend my left wing, and wrap it around her, pulling her close. She drapes her right foreleg around my neck, and leans her head on my shoulder. I rest my head on top of hers, and we stand there, crying our silent tears of sorrow.

To the left of Applejack is Rarity, and to my right are Twilight and Pinkie Pie. I'm dead center in the half circle of five that surrounds Fluttershy's grave. There are other ponies here, such as the Cake's, Lyra, Bon Bon, and others. Even princess Celestia is here, tears streaming down her face as she watches on silently.

After the stallions finish burying Fluttershy, the five of us turn away simultaneously. I look over to Twilight.

"I can't believe she's gone..." Pinkie says, her face contorting to a look of deep sorrow.

"I know." I say. "It's gonna be rough, getting by without her."

"Yeah. It is." Twilight says.

We stand there, an awkward and sad silence taking over. I break the silence.

"I remember... One time when we were fillies, I tried to do a really stupid stunt. Almost got myself killed... She was after me in a second. Wouldn't shut up about how dangerous it was or was I alright... Never thought she'd be the first to go. Always thought I'd off myself trying out some stupid trick that I wasn't ready for..." I say, drooping my head.

"Rainbow..." Applejack says, seeing my expression.

She puts her hoof beneath my chin, lifting my head up.

"Don't talk like that." She says. "It ain't your fault, an' don' act like it is."

"I know AJ." I say. "I just wish that there was something I could do to bring her back..."

"We all do, Rainbow." Twilight says.

"Well. At least she ain't in any more pain." Applejack says.

Her cause of death was a rare disease that only pegasi can be infected with. It targets our wings, making them unusable, and then it goes for the heart. It takes about three days for anypony to die of it, and those three days are a living hell. Or so I've been told.

"Yeah." I say, taking some comfort in that fact.

We stand in silence again, and watch as the last pony in the crowd leaves.

"I almost forgot that there were other people here." Pinkie Pie says.

"Me too." I say.

Rarity is oddly silent.

"Rarity? You okay?" I say.

"Oh, yes Rainbow darling. I just can't think of anything to say." She says.

"Okay." I say. Back to the silence...

After the funeral, everypony heads home. Applejack and I bid farewell to Twilight, Pinkie and Rarity before heading to our own little home near the farm. Once AJ and I knew our relationship would last, we bought a little house that was about a block from Sweet Apple Acres. We walk in silence, the only thing that could be heard was the chirping of crickets and the sounds of our hooves on the dirt road.

I hang my head in sorrow, not caring about how cold it is outside. It's almost midnight, by the way. I can't see her, but I know Applejack is looking at me with worry.

"You alright sugarcube?" she says.

It's an honest question, and quite frankly I don't feel alright.

"Not really..." I say.

"Look, Dash. Ah know you're upset about Fluttershy, hell we all are, but Ah jus' want you t'know that Ah'm here for you." She says, wrapping her left foreleg around my neck.

"Thanks AJ..." I say.

She stops us in our tracks, and forces me to look at her.

"Rainbow." She says.

"Yeah?" I say, looking into her emerald eyes.

"Ah love you." She says.

"I love you too." I say.

It's been a while since we kissed last, but her lips are as warm as I remember them pressed against my own. She breaks us apart, and we continue to walk home in relative silence. Sadness taking over again as the dominant mood.

About a block from our house, I can feel the overwhelming sorrow welling up in my chest. All those childhood memories, or things I said that I wish I could take back. It's driving me over the edge. My knees buckle and I collapse into a fit of sobs that wrack my body. I shiver and sob and Applejack wraps her arms around me, whispering soothing things into my ear. I press my hooves into my face to help block out the world around me, and Applejack holds me tight, giving me something to hold onto in my fit of sorrow.

"It's okay sugarcube." She says. "Let it out. Ah got you." She whispers into my ear.

I just sit there and cry. Not caring who sees. I'm done looking tough just to please myself, done acting like I'm the best. Done showing off just so I can hear the praise of others who love me enough already. Now that Fluttershy is dead, I am going to show more emotion, and stop acting like nothing ever bothers me. For her. I may not be one for mushy stuff, but I'm going to start.

I wipe my face clean of the tears that are still pouring from my eyes, and stand up. AJ stands up with me, and she hugs me again.

"Feelin' better?" She asks, still concerned for me.

"Not really." I say shakily, the sobs still trying to control me. "But I can walk now." I give a light chuckle with that last remark.

"Alright. Let's get you home." Applejack says.

Author's Note

So, this is my contribution to this little project. I hope I'm not the only one who thinks that this is what would happen to Rainbow if Fluttershy were to die, because honestly, I really think it would. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and if you teared up a bit, you're not alone.

~Devastation

Pinkie Pie

Chapter 2: Pinkie Pie

Written by: Br0nyb0y123

I couldn’t imagine what pain Fluttershy was feeling after she was diagnosed with that rare disease, I wanted to be there during my friend’s final three days of her life before she passed on, but I couldn’t, I didn’t want to try and cheer her up because eventually, it would make her sad, and that would’ve made me sad as well, it hurt me to know she died. Fluttershy was one of the first friends I made when I arrived to Ponyville from my family’s rock farm, she was kind and gentle, and that’s why I became her friend.

My name is Pinkie Pie, but I don’t feel like Pinkie just now. My mane and tail weren’t puffy and fluffy, not since I heard she died, my mane and tail were straight, and I feel like every ounce of energy has been sucked out of me.
The funeral felt short, plenty of ponies arrived, including some of my best friends, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Twilight, Rarity, The Cakes, Lyra and others. Even Princess Celestia was there to remember the mare that held the Element of Kindness for so long, and cherished it with her kind heart.

Watching her slowly go down six feet under in her coffin was the toughest part, knowing this going to be the last time I’ll ever see my friend again, as she slowly went down her resting place, I closed my eyes and cried silently, the tears rolled down my eyes and I left a face of sorrow and sadness. It hurt me inside to see her go down like that, it hurt me to know I’ll never see my friend again and it just hurt me to know that she’s gone now. Why did it have to be Fluttershy? She didn’t deserve this. None of this was her fault; I wish she was still here, but I have to return to reality, she won’t come back, she can’t come back.
I looked at all my friends; they were grieving, as was I. I looked at Rainbow and Applejack, holding each other close, letting out all their grief, Rarity was sobbing, but her whines were quiet, it was painful to watch Rarity cry over the pony she considered her best friend. And finally Twilight, she felt awful over the whole situation, as she was there during her final moments, and heard her soft final words.

After she was finally buried; Me, Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity and Twilight turned away from her gravestone, she died at twenty-two, such a young age. At this point, my friends and I stayed silent for a short while, remembering our soft-spoken yellow friend, until I was the one who broke the silence,

“I can’t believe she’s gone…” I spoke out, with my head facing the ground.

“I know.” Rainbow replied, “It's gonna be rough, getting by without her.” She told us.

“Yeah. It is.” Twilight added.

After Twilight finished her words, then came another silence. It was just as painful as the previous silence, until after a minute, it was Rainbow who broke the silence this time,

“I remember... One time when we were fillies, I tried to do a really stupid stunt. Almost got myself killed... She was after me in a second. Wouldn't shut up about how dangerous it was or was I alright... Never thought she'd be the first to go. Always thought I'd off myself trying out some stupid trick that I wasn't ready for...” Rainbow remembered, leaving her head droop into her sadness.

“Rainbow…” Applejack tried to relax her cyan lover.

Applejack raised Rainbow’s head to face her by placing her hoof underneath her girlfriend’s chin,

“Don't talk like that." Applejack told Rainbow, “It ain't your fault, an' don' act like it is."

“I know, AJ.” Rainbow replied, “I just wish that there was something I could do to bring her back...”

Me too, Rainbow,

“We all do, Rainbow.” Twilight uttered.

“Well. At least she ain't in any more pain." Applejack said.

Yep. At least she’s in a better place now,

“Yeah.” Rainbow replies, feeling more relaxed, calm and comforted about her death.

After she says that, we have another silence, and we watch everypony leave the cemetery, and until the last pony left the cemetery the silence was broken, once again by me,

“I almost forgot that there were other people here.” I said.

“Me too.” Rainbow replied.

Rainbow turned to look at Rarity, who hasn’t said a single thing during the funeral and is still continuing to stay silent, until
Dash asked her,

“Rarity? You Okay?” She asked with concern.

“Oh, yes Rainbow darling. I just can't think of anything to say." Rarity told her.

“Okay.” Rainbow said.

And then we had one final silence between each other.

We all bid farewell to each other before parting to our homes, though Rainbow and Applejack left together, then Twilight left, then finally Rarity, until it was me left in the Cemetery, I just needed a moment to pay my final respects to Fluttershy,

“Hey Fluttershy.” I began, “I don’t know if you’re hearing this or not but I just want to say goodbye personally. And I miss you already, well…” I began to choke up, “…we all do. I never wanted you to go, Fluttershy, you were one of my best friends, one of my closest friends…” I paused as tears slowly rolled down my face, “…you were like family. And on your final days, I’m sor..” I sniffed, “I’m..I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, but it was too much, it was just the pain building inside of me, and I regret not seeing you in your final minutes of living, I’m sorry I never said goodbye.” I said as I started to cry more, tears rolling down my face and dripping off onto the ground, “Goodbye Fluttershy.” I finished with a anguished tone in my voice.
I continued to cry in front of my friend’s grave, I rubbed my eyes with my left foreleg to clear the tears, but my eyes were still misty. Feeling saddened, I turned away from Fluttershy’s grave, and I exited out the cemetery, heading home for Sugarcube Corner and all I could be thinking of was Fluttershy, and the engraving left on her stone,

“May angels hold you in their arms and their comfort bring you peace.”

Author's Note

Well, here is Br0nyb0y123's chapter. Again, hope it was enjoyable. I know the events are repeating themselves but it is from each of their points of view, so... Yeah.

~Devastation

Twilight Sparkle

Chapter 3: Twilight Sparkle

Written by: MrDevastation101 (originally Scalor barracuda cyborg, but he had to drop out last minute...)

I enter the library, tears still dripping down my face as I step inside my home. Spike is with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. They were having some sort of sleepover while the more adult ponies attended Fluttershy's funeral. I wish that there was something I could have done... but oh well. There's nothing I can do now but grieve.

I'm Twilight Sparkle, I hold the Element of Magic, but no matter how many spells I know, I couldn't have saved Fluttershy.

I drop my crown near the door, not caring about where it is right now, and slowly climb the stairs up to my room, hanging my head in sorrow. I reach the top of the stairs, and head for my bed. Not wanting to be in this day anymore. Three days ago, when Fluttershy was alive and perfectly healthy, we all had a picnic, the first we've had in months. It was great. Everypony was there, we all had a good time... and then Fluttershy started having wing cramps. She went to the doctor, and he told her that she had been infected with a very rare disease that is only seen among pegasi. There was no cure, and she only had three days to live. I was with her in the hospital for all three of those long, horrible days. I helped her eat if she was too weak, I kept a close eye on her while she slept, not wanting anything bad to happen while I wasn't there.

And then came the third day... I could tell from the way she spoke to me that day that she was both in incredible pain, and that she was dying. I tried to use one of my painkilling spells to help ease her through it, but the doctor told me I might just end up killing her faster. I wanted to hit him in the face for saying that. Sure I didn't want her to die, but it was better than seeing her live her last moments in utter agony! I could have let her slip away peacefully, and painlessly. I didn't want to see her suffer anymore! But I couldn't... The doctor had told me to just leave her be, and so that's what I did. I sat by her bedside as she slipped from this world and into the underworld, clutching her hoof tight between my own.

I reach my bed, and collapse onto it, not caring whether or not my wings are sticking up. I just want to sleep, to escape this nightmare of a day. I takes a while, but I manage to cry myself to sleep.

My dreams are horrible. I go from watching Fluttershy cry out in pain on an infinite loop to being in her place. The pain in my wings becoming so intense, that I wake up screaming for it to stop. I look at the clock on my bedside table. 3:00. I sigh and collapse back onto the bed. I try to sleep, but my brain just won't shut down again. I can't stop thinking of Fluttershy, and wishing I could have been able to help her...

I get up, since I won't be going back to sleep any time soon, and go down into the library, floating a lit candle beside me. I look on the shelves for any books I have on rare diseases. Luckily, I find three.

I place them all on the table, and open the first one. Scanning it's pages for anything about the illness that killed Fluttershy. I turn page after page, not finding anything. I close the book, and move on to the next one. About halfway through it, I find what I'm looking for.

Wingosis, Teraphytis.
Causes extreme pain in the wings, rendering them unusable. The disease paralyses the limbs, and then the heart. Killing the victim within three days. No known treatments or cure.

What? That can't be right. I read the discription over and over again, but nothing changes. If there is no cure, I don't know what I'd do if Rainbow Dash were to catch it... and what about Applejack? She'd be beyond devastated if anything were to happen to Rainbow...

"Calm down Twilight, you're overthinking it." I say to myself.

I knock myself in the head with a hoof, and try not to start worrying myself sick over nothing. Just because Rainbow Dash was with Fluttershy while she was in the hospital doesn't mean that she caught the infection... does it?

No, Twilight. Stop it. Stop worrying about nothing. Rainbow Dash is fine, and so are you. This honestly reminds me of the time I went paranoid over a late letter to Princess Celestia...

I sigh and close the book, not wanting to look at it anymore. I look at the clock, 6:30. Wow, I've been up this long? I should get some sleep. I walk back to my room, close the door, and lay on the bed, exhausted. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. No more nightmares.

It's around midday when I wake up. I can tell because the sun is high in the sky through my window. I lazily get on my hooves and go downstairs. I still can't help but worry about Rainbow Dash catching that disease. I can't lose another friend, not this way. From now on, I am going to try to create a spell that can cure Wingosis Teraphytis, so I can keep anypony who has it alive.

I need to check on Rainbow Dash, however. I just can't stop worrying that she might be infected. I hurry out the door, and close it behind me with my magic. I run full speed to Applejack and Rainbow Dash's house, not stopping for anything.

I arrive at the house, and take a minute to catch my breath. Once I'm properly composed, I knock on the door, and wait for an answer. The door opens a bit, and Rainbow Dash's head pops through the crack.

"Oh, hey Twilight. What are you-" she doesn't get to finish her question because I tackle her and hug her.

"Thank goodness you're alright." I say, almost crying tears of joy.

"'Alright'? Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" She says, struggling to break free of my grasp.

I release her. "Oh, no reason." I say, slightly embarrassed.

"O-kaaaay...?" Rainbow says.

"Oh, never mind Rainbow." I say.

Author's Note

Another chapter written by me. Originally, Scalor barracuda cyborg was supposed to write this, but he had to drop out of the project at the last minute for reasons I think he'd like to remain private. However! Even though he dropped out, I'm still going to leave his name in the description so I can show who was originally part of it.

~Devastation

Applejack

Chapter 4: Applejack

Written by: Chrono_Ryono

"It ain't fair, Mac" I muttered bitterly, shamelessly pouring myself another glass of cider in a vain attempt to drown my sorrows. Before today I wouldn't have been caught dead wasting away at the table drinking myself into oblivion and whining about things I couldn't help. Today? I just didn't rightly have the strength to care. "It just ain' buckin' fair!"

What? Of course I meant it. I am the almighty Element of Honesty, after all. Not to say that sacred bond necessarily means a damn thing now that one of us is gone, of course, but it's about the only thing I have left - besides Rainbow, of course. If anythin', it's her love and my 'destiny' that keep me tethered to life... and help to remind me of happier times.

"It rarely is, sis," Mac replied coolly without actually averting his gaze from the stove. For a moment I felt a pang of anger, but it cooled off just in time for another swig of the good stuff. He's the real workhorse around here, slaving away to keep things running while I wallow in self-pity. I'm just happy Rainbow was so willing to give me some space, lest she see me like this...

"What damn bit'a good does it do tellin' me that?" I snapped. Childish, I know. Like I said, this wasn't the day to think rationally. I can be a stubborn old mule when I set my mind to it, and I just so happened to be in that mood. Sure, the funeral was two days ago now, but that doesn't mean the memory isn't fresh. "Y'think I'm some kinda stupid filly, not knowin' that?"

I resisted the urge to sweep the bottle and glass off the table, knowing I'd have to get up off my flank and get another bottle if I did so. Plus I'd have to clean it up... since, as they say, life goes on. Anypony who says that without experiencing the loss of somepony like Fluttershy can go to hell, by the way.

I continued my tirade, even as Big Mac stared calmly into my hateful, blurry eyes - weathering the storm, so to speak. "Some nonsense 'bout a disease that only targets pegasi! And it only seems to go after nice pegasi who don't deserve a damn bit of it!" My own words stung in that moment, briefly halting my rant, as memories flooded back to me like a storm of my own tears.

I'd criticized Rainbow for usin' her wings in those competitions... never once knowing that simply having them opened a pony up to this. I know she bears no hard feelings about it, but I can't shake the guilt; no amount of love, affection, or erotic third-drawer roleplay can ever make up for that.

Internal musing aside, I wasn't finished. Oh boy was I not finished. "Y'know how it feels, havin' to fear... to worry that someday..." I forced these next words out, despite every fibre of my being refusing to acknowledge them, "... Rainbow might come down with the same? Y'know what that's like? 'Course not..."

I was genuinely startled as Mac's tranquil expression shifted to one of pure wrath. He closed the distance between us in an instant, and slammed his forehooves on the table. The harsh glare in his eyes was almost enough to sober me up, then and there, but I was feeling feisty enough to show my iron by not flinching.

"Now you listen here," he growled, ignoring the crack in his own voice. In a sudden bout of clarity I immediately wanted to take back the crap I'd just spouted, but even that wouldn't get me out of this. I knew he cared for Fluttershy nearly as much as I did. Honesty - a blessing, or a curse? "Don't ya go tellin' me ah don't know what it's like, sis! You weren't even this tall when ah had to watch mah— our buckin' parents die! Yer not the only one who takes issue with how cruel nature can be, so don't go throwin' that nonsense in mah face! Don't you dare."

I settled into a sort of catatonic silence, sulking back to my drink. Luckily, Mac opted to let me, even though he'd have been well within his rights to hurl that goddamn bottle against the wall and smack some sense into me.
Instead, his rage tapered off as quickly as it came, and he swiftly retrieved a glass and took the other seat.

"Don't you go drinkin' too much more'a that," he said. It wasn't the nicest tone he's ever spoken to me in, but hey, he was still calming down. Still, before I had the chance to grumpily tell him to shove it, I realized what he actually meant. He grabbed the bottle and poured himself a glass. "Ah need to get a shot or two in mahself."

"Mac, ah'm sorry-"

"We all are," he cut me off, swigging his cider like the hardest drinking pony you'll ever lay eyes on. "That's what we have'ta live with after the fact. Ah've been livin' with it almost yer entire life. Y'know how?"

I shook my head.

"By focusin' on the good," he stated matter-of-factly, like he was teaching a small filly how to wash her mane. "Ah'm not gonna baby ya, sis. Fluttershy's gone, and we're all gonna miss her. We'll miss her the rest of our lives; time doesn't heal all wounds, ah'm afraid. But, what good memories do ah have about ma and pa? What good things do ya remember about Fluttershy?"

"Well..." I pondered my next words carefully. What good things didn't I remember? "Ah remember when we first met. She was too shy to try mah apples until ah insisted. Couldn't bring herself to admit how much she loved 'em, but ah could see it in her eyes. Sometimes ah wonder if she had fruit bat blood in her..."

Where the hay did that last part come from? Oh well, roll with it. The mood was improving, and I was damn sure to keep it that way.

"As ah recall, that was the day ya first laid eyes on her..." I teased with a devious, yet clearly inebriated grin.

"Yup," he replied with a smile. Any other day there'd be a huge blush to go with it, but the gravity of our recent past would allow none of it. He wore his composure like a mask of respect and maturity.

I stared at my cider glass, and almost considered tipping it out. He was being a hell of a lot more mature than I was, that was for sure.
"In fact," I suddenly declared, as a pertinent and particularly prominent memory came to the forefront. "There was this one time when ah pressured her into havin' a drink of cider with me." I cringed as I remembered how uncomfortable she was... at first. That's mitigated by how into it she got practically the moment the alcohol touched her tongue. "... Lemme just say things got awkward real fast."

"Oh?" Mac asked, his eyebrows and ears perking.

"We, uh... got onto the subject of... well, crushes." I rolled my eyes pre-emptively, expecting him to take a playful jab at that. It never came, leaving me looking like a bit of a dullard, so I covered it with a cough and continued. "In exchange for spillin' the beans about mah... certain somepony - before ah came to love Rainbow, ah mean - she told me about the stallion she'd had her eyes on for some time. Made me Pinkie Promise never to tell anypony about it, ever."

I decided to leave it at that, in case the look in my eyes gave things away a little too heavily. I tried to get to my hooves, noticing how they'd lost almost all their feeling.

"Th-thanks, bro..." I muttered, noticing his hasty attempt to help me balance. My anger had subsided - somewhat - but all that left was a void the cider was more than happy to fill. The best course of action for now was, obviously: "Ah think I'm gonna go sleep this off..."

"Good idea," he replied, moving to help me before I stumbled into something. "Question, though."

"Hrm?"

"Who was it?"

I shook my head, smiling gently. I wasn't exactly sure whose crush he was asking about, but it didn't matter. "No can do, Mac. Like ah said, we promised... Pinkie Promised, at that, to take our secret to the graves."

You know, it was a little easier to say that than I thought it'd be. It still hurt, but not as soul-crushingly as before. It would never become easy, but hey, every journey begins with the first step.

"Fluttershy held on tah that secret for the rest of her life, just as promised. Ah'd sooner trade places with her than betray that trust."

Yes, there was a chance that someday I could tell him guilt-free. Possibly. What really mattered now was that I still had the gift of life, and the time to decide... and tomorrow, I was going to use some of that precious time wisely. I was going to show Rainbow just how much I truly loved her.

It's what Fluttershy would have wanted.

Author's Note

So, this is Chrono_Ryono's chapter. I think I liked this the most out of the three I was sent.

-Devastation

Rarity

Chapter 5: Rarity

Written by: Bookworm Guardian

It was all too much, seeing Fluttershy’s coffin being lowered. I tried to stay as lady-like as I could during the ordeal-attempting to be strong for the others, but to no avail- and keep my composure. Seeing my dearest friend’s final resting place being set up though… I couldn’t help it; I wept, and I wept strongly for as soft as some said I sounded. I could feel my eyeliner running down my muzzle and staining my dress, but I didn’t really care. There is a time and place for those things, and this was not it. After the final rites were given, the five of us met up for a moment. My attention was elsewhere though; I can’t recall what anypony was saying, nor if I spoke at all. I think Rainbow Dash recalled a story, then began guilting herself. I really do feel for her; she was even closer to Fluttershy than I was. Then Applejack spoke up to calm her. Sometimes I really envied the pair, AJ and Rainbow. They were much closer to each other than any of the rest of us could ever be. They had each other, while my only constant companion is Sweetie Belle. Well, her and that rock that keeps appearing in my backyard. Honestly, I have no idea who keeps moving it. Anyways, that is beside the point.

Even while these thoughts made fleeting passes through my subconscious, all I could think of was the looks on all of the faces of those around me. There were the Cakes, Lyra, and even Princess Celestia attended the wake and funeral. All around me were the looks of sadness and regret, especially on Pinkie. The poor dear was even worse off than that day she thought we’d abandoned her. I knew that she would be beating herself up over not being with Fluttershy during her final moments; the girl lived to make ponies smile, and she felt that she had failed one of her truest friends by not being by her side. Tears fell freely from all of us, but I believe the most tears were shed by Rainbow, Pinkie, the Princess, and I.

After we departed, I went into my boutique, turned the sign to Closed, then locked myself in my room, where I laid in my bed and cried as hard as I could. It would be very near sunset before I arose from my grief induced stupor. After which I dragged myself out of my puddle of sadness and half-heartedly refixed my mane. That’ll have to do for now, I guess, I thought as I looked at my disheveled appearance in the mirror. I knew I’d hate myself later for looking so mangy, but I honestly didn’t give enough of a buck to do anything at that point.

I was fortunate enough that the group had enough forethought to send Sweetie Belle and her friends off on a sleepover for the night; I would not have wanted her to see me in this way. The whole ordeal was hard enough on the kids as it stood, and she didn’t want to add on to her sister’s grief. After I had dried out my tear reservoirs, I hobbled into my dining room and poured myself a cup of Sugar Smoke tea; I was indifferent about the type, but it had been Fluttershy’s favorite. I savored each sip of the smoky and sweet flavor of the brew as I thought upon all of the memories I could recall of our time together: our spa days, every tea time we had, all of the escapades we shared with the other girls, even that time she’d modeled for Photo Finish, though I will admit that wasn’t… one of my finest moments with her… and eventually the final picnic we all shared. She had been complaining of wing cramps…

Oh Celestia, I can’t do it… I thought as I broke down once more, my tears streaking from my face and into my empty tea cup. I couldn’t take it, I had to go back! I quickly grabbed a coat and sprinted out of my home as fast as my hooves could carry me, for once not caring what I looked like, and hauled tail to the gravesite. I wouldn’t let it end this way; I had to see her at least once more! I slowed down as I got near the graveyard, and I was surprised to see Pinkie Pie there, tears running down her face; I heard her say, “Goodbye, Fluttershy,” as she walked away. She looked absolutely dreadful; her mane and tail were flat and disheveled, and her eyes were bloodshot. If she noticed me, she made no showing of it. I hesitantly stepped toward the plot of dirt that hid my passed friend; my closest friend. Words found there way to my lips slowly and begrudgingly, as if my mind were trying to stop me from talking to the grave.

“Um… hello, Fluttershy,” I said in a whisper, “I… I don’t really know what to say right now, other than I-I’m… so sorry.” Liquid began pooling in my vision once more as I choked out, “I wish that I could have been there to see you one more time… I wish that there was something we could’ve done, that I could’ve done. You- you always brought out the best in me, you know? You were always that gentle, supple voice of reason when my generosity got… out of hoof. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” I couldn’t see clearly anymore; my vision was clouded by tears and memories resurfacing. All I could see was the grave, the butterflies, the epitaph, and Fluttershy’s smiling face. As I saw her, my mouth forced itself upward into something of a hollow smile. “I just want to say… thank you, and… goodbye, Fluttershy.”

I walked from the grave, my smile fading, along with most everything else, save for a lone thought. I’d just had an idea for a new line; this would be my Grey Period...

Author's Note

And, this is Bookworm Guardian's chapter. The final in the five (not counting the acknowledgements) hope it was enjoyable, because for someone who hates Rarity with a burning passion, I almost cried reading it.

~Devastation