Darkly Dreaming Dash

by DavidReinold

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Crossover
Length: 4195

Credit to Coffeebean for help on Zecora's lines in chapter 2.

Meet Rainbow Dash, a polite Griffon in pony's clothing. She's talented and loyal, but something in her past has made her abide by a different set of rules. She's a serial killer whose one golden rule makes her extremely likeable: she only kills bad ponies. And her job as a blood splatter expert for the Ponyville police department puts her in the perfect position to identify her victims. But when a series of brutal murders bearing a striking resemblance to her own start turning up, Dash is caught between being flattered and being frightened - of herself or some other fiend…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-01 01:52:21 UTC

Chapter 1

Cloud. Glorious cloud. Heavy, distant reddish cloud, a hovering shadow in the sky, dampening the moonlight into obscurity. Yet the night remains brighter than day for in the day we are blinded from the darkness, a darkness unto itself. On this night I could feel the howl of the Equestrian wild, not the fauna but the tertiary scum feeding on flowers in the jungle of modern society. In the distance I felt a petal drop and swooped in upon it like a spectrum-maned terror.

The howl also came from within me, a guttural scream of need. The Need that drove me each night to hunt my prey. The Need that made me tremble and jitter and shift in my seat whenever it went unsatisfied. Unfortunately, This Need was rather frowned upon by my fellow citizens of Equestria. But they don't know what I am or what I do, and they are happier for it. Were they to discover my habits they would never understand. So, I decided, it was better if they just didn't find out. Logically.

Of course I prepare first, and I prepare well. That was the first rule of the code of Firefly, cover your tracks and always be 100 percent sure, and then 20 percent more just so you're 100 percent sure that you're 100 percent sure. If everything is just going to fall apart, there was never any point in trying.

Then I stalk my prey. Learn their patterns, habits, daily routines. Work out an opportune moment would be to catch them in my trap and skin them for hide. They are animals, yes, but not stupid. They can tell when they are being followed by one of their own.

Fortunately, I'm good at not being one of their own.

* * *

The time was right. Darling Dash takes the back seat and lets her hungry friend, the Changeling, take the wheel. Now we think as one. The Need harnesses my meticulous methods as we begin to stalk our prey.

We took to the skies and sought out The One. It was still early, so she probably wouldn't be out yet. But this was deliberate - my Changeling knew what it was doing. For nearly an hour I circled the Ponyville skies (doing what was, if I do say so myself, a very convincing impression of practicing stunt routines). When Princess Luna's beautiful luminous musical moon was at the peak of the sky, I saw her. The One. The grotesque and disgusting soul that my Changeling wanted me to dispose of.

I attempted to calm my Changeling. Soon, very soon, it would be satisfied, another little corner of our world would be cleaned up.

My Changeling sang with merciless glee.

There, on the ground, stood Berry Punch. She seemed innocent enough at a glance, but once I went into her criminal record, I started to second-guess that first impression. Seven counts of drunk and disorderly conduct, the third of which came bundled with one count of accidental mareslaughter. That looked suspicious, so I dug a bit further. She used to have two young ones as well, it seemed. One was in a trauma ward, the other in protective custody. Both had been severely beaten by their dear loving mother.

If I had emotions, I'd be feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about it. And that wasn't even the last of the horrors. But as my mind wandered over my research, my Changeling reminded me to keep my eyes front and center.

So there she was. Leaving a nightclub with her pal Carrot Top. When the two friends parted ways for what we gleefully noted would be their final time, I pulled my ShadowBolt-styled mask over my face and went to work. Gently swooping down next to her, I put a hoof over her back and whispered in her ear.

"Hey, hold up there Berry Punch. You sure you can manage? You look absolutely wasted."

With her half-dead wits, Berry Punch jumped, apparently attempting to react to my recent appearance in the vicinity. Oh, how I hated dealing with drunks.

"Oh....hi Rainbow Dash," she said slowly, just barely managing to keep from slurring her words.

"Hello! Hi. Should I walk you home?"

"No....no, I'm fffffffffine."

"You don't look fine. Here, let me walk you home..."

"Ok-kay...."

Well, that was easy. I walked her down the street past countless corner stores and bakeries and all sorts of repair shops. What a glorious and peaceful town Ponyville could be when it wasn't being overrun by murderous fiends.

And no, I am not a hypocrite. But thank you for asking.

* * *

When we reached the crossroad where one would normally turn to got to Berry Punch's house, I lead her instead further down the street we were already on. She put up no fuss. If nothing else, her being intoxicated made it easier to proceed with the plan.

We were probably a half-mile farther down the road before she realized we were headed in the wrong direction.

"Hey, this...isn't the way to my housssssssse," she mumbled vaguely.

"I know, I just wanted to show you something."

"Ok-kay..."

She was more wasted than I expected.

After about a mile, we reached the older Ponyville neighborhood, filled with old, unoccupied houses, most of them dilapidated and almost reclaimed by nature. It was disgusting and beautiful at the same time.

I led her inside a house with boarded up windows.

"This place looks...familiar..."

"It should, this is your old house. Now just hang on a moment."

I sunk into the darkness of the empty house and made my presence scarce. As I circled back around behind her, I flitted my wings and noiselessly found my opportune location, the spot just to her left, just out of view, where she wouldn't pick up on my presence. With a swift and fluid motion I pulled a hypodermic from my saddlebag and cleanly ran it through the vein under Berry Punch's jaw.

She was out like a light.

* * *

I watched as she opened her eyes. I could see in them that a hangover was beginning to grip her.

"Augh, my head...hey, do you have any asprin?"

It amused me that she hadn't even noticed what I'd done yet.

"I already gave you a drug for the hangover. It will be over quickly, but it will be extremely harsh. You'll have to endure the pain for about 10 minutes," what she didn't know was that compared to what I was about to do to her, a hangover feels like a mere tickle.

"Okay, thanks...but hey...why am I being held down by plastic wrap?"

"Oh, that's so you don't try to escape."

Her eyes widened. Perhaps she realized who I was and what I was here to do. Perhaps she was late for some appointment. I had no idea, and it made little difference to me.

"Now, before we begin I'd like to show you a little presentation..."

On a screen right above her, I projected a photo of a young colt with a white coat and blue mane, and an umbrella for a cutie mark.

"This is Brolly. He passed away nearly two years ago. You don't remember when it happened because you were drunk, which is ironic, because you did it."

I could see her begin to hyperventilate. Her eyes narrowed in pain from the hangover. I didn't like this reaction, so I shined a bright light in those eyes. Tears filled them and she just about screamed.

"Hey," I said, "stay with me."

I put the light away and continued. I pressed a button and the slide changed to a picture of a filly and a colt playing together. The filly was slightly older and had an indigo coat and bubblegum-pink mane, while the colt, being younger, had a light-green coat and pure white mane.

"Here we have Berry Crunch and Sweetberry, your son and daughter respectively, both out of your care, in protective custody and the Trauma Ward respectively. But you already knew that. What's next. Ah yes..."

I killed the projector and kicked on the recessed lighting to reveal a dank and unpleasant basement. In this new light, I stood over Berry Punch and looked into her eyes.

"I see your hangover is gone."

"Y...yes..." she was almost in tears, which satisfied me. Satisfied us, the Parasprite and I.

"Good. I need your full attention for the final introduction before we begin our main event."

I stepped aside and pressed a button. The screen above us was pulled back to reveal a horror behind it. A truly disturbing sight that made even a monster such as myself writhe in agony and distress. Fortunately, I had strong nerves. For the satisfaction of this cleansing, I would endure the sight.

Berry Punch, on the other hand, had no such discipline. Her face was a faucet of tears and I was sure if she kept it up, she'd drown before I could have my fun. She squirmed and thrust every mobile joint against the bondage of the plastic wrap.

It was truly a horrific sight. I'm not even saying that hypothetically as though I had feelings - this made even me feel something, deep down. It was painful enough to search for them and dig them up, but it was another thing entirely to string them up to display for her. I was disrespecting their memories by doing that to them, but I hoped the effect of this horrific display would give them peace as their young, unlearned souls attempted to discover what you do when you're dead.

"I swear...I didn't mean..."

"Oh but you did. The only question is....why?"

"I didn't-!"

I'd heard enough for the moment. I stuffed a cotton gag in Berry Punch's mouth and, with a quick flit of my scalpel, ran a cut through her cheek. One quick fluid motion and I'd gathered some of her blood in a dropper.

Drip, drip. The blood found its way onto the microscope slide. I covered the tiny piece of glass, and, with part one of my routine complete, removed the gag from Berry Punch's mouth again.

"Now tell me...why did you kill them?"

"I didn't-!"

"Tell me!"

"They...they wouldn't shut up...Every day I'd come home and the brats would be over...I'd kick them out, and the little monsters who brought them here got what they deserved...but it just got worse, and I couldn't help myself..."

"...I understand."

"You do?"

"Completely. You see, I can't help myself, either. But this, no. I could never do this, not to foals. I could never kill a filly or a colt. It goes against my very existence. And that's why, now, I have to end your precious little life. You've done something to sicken me, and like I said, I can't help myself. I need to take a life. So now, Berry Punch, it's your turn to atone. If you wish to pray, I suggest you start quickly."

"But...but I'm not religious."

"Even better, that speeds things up." I wandered over to a silver table where sat several sharp metallic instruments of all sorts and sizes. I selected my favorite and returned to the operating table, "Well, if you have nothing more to say for yourself...let's begin."

I replaced Berry Punch's gag and went to work. As the pink mare sobbed, my Parasprite sang. And for that moment, as all the life drained from that horrible creature, I felt a surge of life enter my soul. In that moment, I felt alive. I felt Equine. Emotions filled me and consumed me. Nostalgia, pleasure and pain mingled in my heart and I reveled in it. But soon, the moment was gone, and before me sat an empty husk which I would have to clean up.

What a pain.

So I was back to being myself. For a moment, one fleeting but perfect moment, I had been a true mare. But now the moment had passed, and I was once again hollow inside. I returned to being that meticulous beast, the griffon in pony's clothing.

The polite monster, Rainbow Dash.

Chapter 2

Two hours isn't exactly a record time clean up for dearly demented Dash, but to be quite fair, I had taken my sweet time picking this one apart. That horrid monster was even more monstrous than I, and that took skill. She had not only out-monstered me, she had offended me on a personal level. What she'd done to those poor colts and fillies left me with a bad first impression already. But the process itself...she didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hoped, so I had to work double-time and enjoy it enough for both of us.

Usually there's at least a muffled screaming, and some sort of resistance when I pull out the big knives. But all I got were a few tears that faded quickly. It was no fun at all. It was like she'd already repented before my performance had started, and by the time the first incision was made she'd already come to terms with the fact that she deserved this fate.

Such a shame, I rather enjoyed being able to watch as the evil left their dying eyes. I relished in those last few moments, seeing the repentance consume them as they settled down. But this time? None of that, not even the slightest bit. The remorse was already upon her. When they already feel the regret and embrace the acceptance before I even have a chance to start, it feels like I'm killing an innocent, which the Code of Firefly tells me to avoid at all costs.

It wasn't just me, the performance was a team effort. And if one of the players finishes their lines before the other player takes center stage, that's a bit of a lame performance if I do say so myself. I'd want my money back, except the players were also the audience, which I supposed made it easier to self-critique. Well, for one of us anyway. The other, clearly, was in no such capacity to say much of anything.

It was half-past two in the morning. I gathered up the mutilated remains in my industrial-grade saddlebags and set off outside.

* * *

I loved the skies. In the sky, I was alone. Nopony could fly as high or a fast as I could. I loved that when I was in the skies, I could be myself. No facade to put up so the other ponies wouldn't see me for who I was. No, I could just be...myself. Well, myself and the little Parasprite voice that lingered in the back of my dragon-brain.

It also conveniently so happened that the skies were the perfect place to scout out-of-the-way areas. The kind of area where nopony would notice, say, a dismembered body or twenty.

The population of Ponyville's recent suburb, Cadaverville, had a meager population thus far. Fourteen residents total, all with severe criminal records. It was quite a rough neighborhood, especially its location, which was the bottom of the gorge that surrounded the House of the Royal Pony Sisters, deep within the Everfree Forest.

Correction, make that fifteen. With a dull thud, Berry Punch found the last home she would ever need, alongside her kin, the other monsters.

With the knowledge of a job well-done, I flew back to Ponyville so I could report for duty.

* * *

My good friend Twilight Sparkle had asked me to help her start a makeshift Police Department in Ponyville. Technically, it was Celestia's idea - after our work using the Elements of Harmony to stop Nightmare Moon and Discord, she decided that it might be a good idea to work on a local law enforcement team. I had no problem with this - it only made it easier for me to get information and scout new victims.

Given my skills in motion, agility and choreography, it was natural that I'd be given the job of blood spatter expert; and the best part was, I could pin my intuition on visualization without ever having to reveal that I actually knew from experience. It seemed like a pretty sweet deal.

As the fastest flier at their disposal, I was also appointed as a field officer. I got to run around and hunt down the criminals. Same game, but with a slightly different outcome. I had no problem with this, unless the criminal happened to be guilty of something detestable and horrid, in which case I would have to painfully wait as the justice system processed them and eventually spat them out.

No justice system involving Fluttershy could ever have the death penalty.

* * *

When I reached the PVPD headquarters, I was greeted by my friends and co-workers. They were all smiling - not because they liked me, of course, but because I had brought doughnuts. It was a weird sensation, being temporarily liked. I wasn't sure I wanted to feel it again. I knew better than to think anyone here cared about each other, but if they were as good at pretending to be friends as I was at pretending to be normal, I couldn't complain. I could play that game, too.

The first one to greet me was Pinkie Pie, the only pony on staff who I knew sincerely cared about me. We hadn't known each other for particularly long, but I felt I could trust her. Given how few feelings I experienced throughout my life, it stood to reason that the ones that did crop up were worth listening to.

"Hey, Dashie!"

"Hi, Pinkie Pie. Anything new?"

"Well it sounds like Colgate just called in a cold one. But I haven't been there yet, so I wouldn't know."

"So wait...why is everypony here, then? And not at the crime scene?"

"Zecora got there first, and she asked us to hold back while she combed over the scene. It sounds like it's a really odd piece of work."

"And so you're just hanging out here until you get the call?"

"I might not even get a call. I'm the only one not on this case at the moment."

I felt genuinely bad. I cared enough about Pinkie to hope that she'd get what she wanted. In this case, she wanted to be able to investigate homicides, which was a steep deviation from her current job of 'morale-booster'. When she wasn't keeping everypony's spirits up, she was regarded as somewhat of a nuisance. Nopony believed her to be capable of any serious detective work. I knew better, of course; my Parasprite told me about her potential. I could feel it too - I could sense that she had good intuition and that her thought process worked more quickly and accurately than anypony else's in the department. Even more than the genuinely genius Twilight Sparkle.

I don't believe in wishing for things, but if I did, I'd wish for Pinkie to get the promotion.

* * *

We let an hour or so of happy doughnut munching pass. When all the doughnuts were gone, I picked up the box and went to throw it out. When I reached the trash can, I noticed that the box was like me. Empty inside. Before I could ponder this potentially symbolic notion, Spike marched in through the front door of the PVPD and reported that Zecora was ready for us to have at the crime scene.

"I'm just warning you now," he said, turning slightly pale, "...it's awful. Do guys mind if I stay here?"

"Go ahead, Spike," Twilight spoke up, "we'll take it from here. And Pinkie Pie...you stay here and hold down the fort, okay?"

Pinkie tried so hard to hide her disappointment behind that weak smile. She deserved better. I stayed back a moment.

"You go on ahead, Dashie," she said weakly, "they're just doing what they think is right."

With a slight nod and a returned smile, I followed after the crowd.

* * *

There's something disarming about the sight of a crime scene in as happy and peaceful of a town as Ponyville. It's like walking into a new and edgy toy store. Corpse R' Us. Colts, check out our sales on body bags, aisle 5. Three-inch rolls of Police Tape come free with every purchase.

We entered slowly. About eight yards in, we were greeted by Zecora, the local medicine mare who was now what you might call a lab tech. When she wasn't sweeping crime scenes for every possible detail, she was running all sorts of toxicology reports. I truly respected her proficiency at the job they'd given her. Although perhaps I am a bit biased. After all, Zecora shares my opinion on Pinkie Pie. As a level-headed and logical pony, she too was also able to see Pinkie Pie's potential in the investigative field.

"You should be careful going past this site, for it will give you quite a fright."

"I'll keep that in mind. So you're headed back to the lab, then?" Twilight spoke up.

"Indeed, my wise and studious friend, my time in this place has reached its end."

"Well, when you get there can you mix up something to calm Spike down? He seemed a bit upset."

"And I shall do just as you tell, for I do wish to make him well."

And with that, she was off.

Fluttershy was talking to the Mayor, which at every crime scene seemed to be her way of avoiding the crime itself. I had no quarrel with this method. At least she was able to do something useful. I wanted her to succeed almost as much as I wanted Pinkie Pie to succeed. She had been a classmate of mine back in Cloudsdale, and since those days I'd always been a big sister to her. I'd stood up for her numerous times.

Cloudsdale...hazily I was drawn back to those days...

My first kill, a bittersweet nostalgia gripped me.

This is not the time for reminiscing! My Parasprite whispered into the back of my dragon-brain. Eyes front and center, as always. The Parasprite never let me think about the past. Only about the future. What to do, what not to do. What will happen and what absolutely cannot. That was where my focus had to lie if I was to keep up this imitation.

Applejack came running back from the crime scene. Her face was pale and even her rock-solid applebucking legs were a bit wobbly. I'd never seen her so upset.

"Zecora n' Spike weren't kiddin'. This one here's a bit of a doozy..."

She looked up and noticed me.

"Rainbow, I'm just gonna throw this out there...we might not need'ya on this one..."

I stepped back a pace, "Why not?"

"You're our blood spatter expert. And, well...there's no blood here. Not gonna lie to ya, sugarcube, that makes you a mite useless to us."

No blood? This I had to see. I tried to ask my Parasprite what I could say that would get me in, but it was too busy having a fit of eager giggles. I decided to wing it.

"Is it okay if I take a look anyway? Just on my personal time?"

"Wait, you want to go in there? Well...ah s'pose ah can't stop ya', but ah warn ya, it's horrible."

My Parasprite was doing cartwheels inside my frontal lobe, and there was nothing I could do to calm it down except to go in and get the wait over with. I made for the police tape that surrounded the drop site, when I was stopped by none other than Rarity.

"It bothers me that you actually desire to see such a sight."

"And it bothers me that you agreed to join the team despite wanting to never see anything of the sort."

"But you seem to...enjoy it," her face contorted into a slight grimace.

"Am I not allowed to revel in an opportunity to put a killer behind bars?"

Rarity paused for a moment.

"You just...you scare me a bit sometimes, Rainbow."

She turned away and galloped off to speak with Twilight. What scared me was very different from what scared Rarity. I gathered a bit of fright from the idea that, among all the ponies Celestia picked to track down criminals and stop evil, Rarity was the only one with even the slightest clue something might be just the slightest bit not right with our favorite sociopath.

Perhaps I'd overestimated everypony.

I rather hoped nopony else desired to speak with me before I went in to see the body. My Parasprite had gotten bored with doing cartwheels and was now proceeding to drag race across my cerebellum. The intensity of the wait was too much for it. I decided to give it peace.

Slowly, carefully, I nudged open the gate that lead to the dump site in the back alley behind Colgate's "Dentally Challenged" tooth-care shop. Before me lay the unfortunate mare. As it seemed, all the scare was over nothing.

I thought it was beautiful.