Obama is entering the building
It was a day like no other in the White House. Democrats democrating in their democratic democracies. Obama sat at his desk of super duper extreme means of fighting a losing war on terror. He twiddled his thumbs, whacked it when no one was around, and whistled a few tunes. He decided it was time for some excitement in his life. He sat up from his reclined chair and press the speak button on his intercom,
"Sarah Palin, " He started, "Send me to somewhere random in the universe. Preferably somewhere with hot babes and such."
"But sir, last time we did that you got a paper cut on your eye and you cried for 10 hours before you were transported back to Earth..." She said, confused of the strange request. To no avail, she pleaded him not to take his bi-annual dimension hopping spree. This time he planned on spreading democracy hardcore style to his first destination. He would force Democratic responsibilities into every facet of everyone's brain. "Well if you must sir..." She said, pressing the button.
Barrack's particles phased into particle mist and shot off into the morning sky. He flew to a strange location, where he phased back into reality. He looked up, took a whiff of the air, and sighed. He walked through the strange town, looking abandoned, head held high. A seemingly busy young pony with a dragon on her back dared cross his path, for he was about to reign american government on dat ass. The young pony seemed surprised at the sight of a creature like him J-Walking through the streets like he owns the fucking place.
"W-, w- " The young pony fumbled, "Wh- what are you doing here?" She asked hesitantly.
"I, my young pony am here to democrisize this town." He said, making up the word democrisize. Damn that's awesome, like him and his raging 6 pack, I bet he'd look good in a speedo. "What might be your name?"
"Twilight Sparkle..." She said, trying not to alarm anyone. Obama the almighty harbinger of freedom and liberty raised a brown at her gay name. Her name is just awful. I mean like I bet the fat people who made her name up were at a board meeting and questioned what 11 year old girls liked, and picked both the movie Twilight and Sparkles. I can't wait to see the pony One Direction Starbucks or Legging Uggs come out of hiding. "What's your's?" She asked.
"Barrack Obama, but you can call me Commie Killer 2000, as it's my gamer tag on Xbox. My K/D is 1.13 you know." They stared at each other for a long time. Both pondered consensual sex as many young hormonal teens were hoping, but they decided to keep sexual relations out of the picture, because as we both know, Obama would have destroyed her with his massive pecs. The dragon popped out of Twilight's satchel with new-found bravery. Barrack jumped back. "Watch out there is a communist on your back!"
"No, that's my friend Spike, " She said. "Introduce yourself Spike." Spike stepped up to his feet and raised a hand in order to shake his grizzly bear grabbers. Obama quickly pulled away in disgust, not before kicking him 12 meters away.
"He was trying to infect me with Terrorism!" Obama shouted as he drew back. Twilight shook her head as she lifted the limp Spike who now had several fractures.
"Your- you- " Spike muttered. "You are a douche bag...". Obama studied the vast landscape and discovered that this place had interesting locations for presidential campaign.
"Let me propose something to you. " Obama cleared his throat. Twilight's pupils widened and ears perked up in the direction of the tall manly figure that stood before her. "That area over there, " He pointed towards the bakery, "Will be where the inaugural McDonald's opening for my visit here." Twlight curled her eyes and then spoke with a broad voice, eyes closed,
"We can't, because that is Mr. and Mrs. Cake's bakery." She was happy with her statement, but when she opened her eyes it was too late. Obama was already in a crane operation compartment and swinging a wrecking ball straight towards the front entrance. Pinkie Pie stepped out in front of the door.
"What a beautiful day!" The Pink Pony said. "I think it's time for a song." She clear her throat. "What a beautiful day, hip, hip, hur-" The wrecking ball swung at her with such a mighty force, he body parts flung in every which way. Twilight sparkle, with a tear in her eye, screamed as the pink pony's remains fell before here. She got on the ground and broke into tears.
"Though ought to do it." Obama said. "The McDonalds will look great on top of these pony's graves!" He laughed as he cleared the debris with his presidential bulldozer. A zebra wearing a hood approached the construction site. She lifted off her hood.
"Have you gone mad child? You got da brains of a starfeesh, an-" The zebra was stopped mid sentence.
"Now hold on, that's racist." The president of asses, Obama stated with such force, kids in Haiti blew their brains out because they could feel the statement. "Just because Zebras are in Africa, the only Zebra has to talk like she's black. There is only one way to solve it!" He got into his crane of solitude and bravery and swung at the zebra, she died on impact, while Twilight was till crying over the corpse of Pinkie Pie, when she stopped.
"You know what, " Twilight said. "I think I'm over her." Just then, the zebra Zecora's corpse fell upon the spot Pinkie pie was laying. Twilight Sparkle started to cry hysterically again. It was a long two hours of blood, gore, and crying, but the Inaugural McDonalds was done. Just then, goose stepping Nazis ordered a Big Mac. Big Macintosh walked in.
"Eeyup." He said. Obama pulled out his golden liberty bell destroying shotgun of mega presidency and killed him.
"Not you!" Obama yelled. "And as for you-" He whipped out his dual chain 140 bullet per second mini gun of Nazi killing and destroyed them. 5 hours have passed and 500 hundred had passed away, Twilight could no longer cry, for all of her tears were used up. He stood gloriously on the mountain of cadavers.
"I think you should leave." She sniffled. Her eyes were blood shot and her hair a mess. Spike, who had bled to death, had hung out of her satchel.
"Your right." Obama declared so hard that George Washington rose from his grave and high tenned him and then fell back dead so that Obama may continue. "Other universes need me." The sun set as he transported back to his dimension. Sarah Palin walked in.
"So, how was it?" She asked. Obama smiled.
"Well Sarah," Obama said. "I think I whooped some freedom into that town, and further more I-"
"Sir." Sarah interrupted.
"Yes?"
"You've got a bit of pony meat on your shoulder." They both laughed as Obama chewed on the meat chunk and he giggled, still remembering to this day about the hundreds he slaughtered in the name of democracy. Hoping to one day go back their, to open gifts of America upon their asses once more, but for now, just a wish.
"Just stop your history report Jonathan, that never happened." The teacher said, rubbing her forehead in stress. Jonathan was about to receive his F when Obama appeared into the room, VIA teleportation.
"Now listen here, you better shut the fuck up before I smash you right in the chompers." Obama said, wagging his finger of democratic waggitude ate the teacher. Jonathan and Obama jumped into the air, high-fiving as the world around them seemed to disappear and they from that point decided to go on amazing adventures, thus beginning the White House adventures of Obama and Jonathan. Obama hopes one day to bring him back to Ponyville with him, so that they may enlighten the ponies together, strapped with their assault rifles of justice.
Author's Note
This was not meant to be offensive or harm anyone in anyway. This was also not meant to change one's political views. If you honestly don't care just enjoy.
