Battlefield: Equestria

by Jaylokeloke

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Human
Length: 1302

Humans and ponies, once enemies, fight side by side against a large unkown

Equestria has unexpectedly been invaded by extra terrestrial forces and they cant fend for themselves. Humans, who have enemies with the ponies for years, step in and fight side-by-side. Day and night to repel these god forsaken scumbags. Only one can force will stand on the top. Who will it be.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-18 08:46:16 UTC

Prologue: Meet the crew

"Hello, this is Jet Bat. I am part of the Elite Equestrian Defense Force. Am in Tango squad  I am 35 years of age. I am a male. My species is pony. My race is Pegasus. I am 5 foot 2 inches. My mane grey, while my coat is black with a pinch of blue on my chest. My cutie mark is a bow in the center of a red crosshair I can do K-ROT-TAY and get a head shot from a mile away with a bow made of straw and manure. I am armed with a golden bow and arrow. My secondary is a Iron dagger finely crafted by me. My birth location is in Equestria and that's all you need to know. Family and friends are classified. My life is classified."

The pony in gold armor looks down at his roll sheet and walks up to the next pony. "Alright, you're next." He said sighing wishing to get this over with. The man next to him knees softly in the gut. "Don't sigh"

"Hello, this is Bursting Light. I am part of the Elite Equestrian Defense Force. TANGO SQUAD LEAD THE WAY. I am 32 years of age. I am a male. My species is pony. My race is Earth Pony. I am 5 foot 5 inches. My mane is a maroon color. My coat is ruby red. My  I can do basic levels of hand to hand  combat and Is extremely skilled with a sword. My main armament is a 2foot 3in sword. My secondary is a nickel dagger. My birth location can go fu-" "Next." The white guard called, rolling his yellow eyes in annoyance.

"My name is Dazzling Water. I am in the Elite Equestrian Defense Force. I am in Tango squad. I am 27 years of age. I am female. My species is pony. My race is Unicorn. I am 5 foot 3 inches. My mane is a bright blue color with a streak of gold in the center. my coat is also Bright Blue. My cutie mark is the blood of my enemies smeared on a- I mean my cutie mark is trickle of water in a river. I am trained in highest know level of aggressive magic. I am armed with magic. My seconder is a Chinese knock off plastic 10 inch dagger. My birth location is unknown to the public. My family and fri-"

"Alright, that's all the ponies, your men are up Captain Lucas." The white guard turns to the man "Alright, thank you Captain White knight. ALL YOU FUCKERS BETTER GET THE FUCK OFF YOUR ASS BECAUSE I AINT WAITING ALL DAY." The three humans, who sitting down watch TV, jumped up in shocked and ran in all directions. "MEN, IN SINGAL FILE- "Its spelled single sir[size=0.75em][/size] IN FRONT OF ME, NOT IN FRONT OF WALL." The Lucas face palmed while white knight and his men snickered to themselves. "Alright, first up."

"Yo Yo this is Ian Warner. I am part of the Elite Equestrian Defense Force. I am in Tango squad. I am 34 years old. I am male. My species is Human. My race is black. I am 6 foot 2 inches. My hair is black. My skin is black or dark brown to some. I trained in Karate and basic levels of hand-to-hand comeback. I am armed with a M16A3 with an ACOG sight and a m203.

"What's up, I am George White. I am part of the Elite Equestrian Defense Force. TANGO SQUAD REPRESENT. I am 25 years old. I am male. My species human. My race is white or a peach tan to some.  I am 5 foot 11inches tall. I come in a package of kickass. I am trained in poppin fools up close and personal. I am armed with taticool M950

"My name is batman, my parents are dead. I live in-" "GET OUT OF HERE BATMAN, THIS IS NOT YOUR STORY" Everyone yells.

"I am sorry everyone, next."

"my name is Lao Ghana. I am in the Elite Equestrian Defense Force. I am in a squad called Tango squad. I am 40 years of age. I am male. My hair is black. My skin color is yellow. I am trained to exceed all math questions. My weapon is a M27 fitted with a drum mag. Secondary side is a M24. Homeland classified to viewers." "Thank you Lao, that is all of Tango squad, let this story begin!"

Location: Bighorn Sea, Equestria

Time: 1:00AM, August 2, 2018

EEDF Carrier 'Blista'

"Alright Tango Elites, I called you here today to discuss on earning the trust of this local village known as Ponyville. As of now, Celestia is allowing us to build a base next to Ponyville to defend it and to quickly send troops to Manehattan and Canterlot, along with Cloudsdale. The reason I called you here is because you showed great skill earning of us the trust of Fillydelphia and Los Angelwing, now get out there and make me proud horse and men."

It wasn't until 6:00 AM when Tango arrive at Ponyville. The locals were, as always, got startled and fled at  the sight of an approaching C-130 thinking it was an alien ship attacking. When the 6 EEDF jumped, the locals got out any weapon they could find ready to fight to the end. Spoons, forks, foals, 2x4, hammers, lego swords (Deadly) and anything else in sight. It wasn't until the parachuting Tangos got closer to the ground for the ponies to realize it was the EEDF "Whew, that was a close one." Said one pony. "Though we were done fo-" He was suddenly interrupted when a shout from Bursting brought his attention to the sky. "INCCCCCOMMMMMMINGGG." The Ruby red pony crashes through the roof a bakery known by the locals as 'Sugar cube Corner'. The colt then stumbles out the door covered in all kinds goodies. He then grows a huge as tongue and licks it all off. "Nice one there Bursting," Said Jet as he hovered of his sheepishly grinning friend. "The locals are going to like us now that we took out the roof of their local snake bar place." "Whatever, lets go meet up with everyone else at that farm I seen them land at." It wasn't until 5minutes later when they reached the farm that where sudden screams and shouts. "What the hay is going on there?" Asked a concerned Jet. "I don't know, lets hurry." they went from a trot to a full on dash to get to the source of the shouts. mean while at source. "GIT THIS NO GUD FER NOTHIN THIEF OFF MAH FARM" Yelled a southern pony. Ian, while parachuting down, manage to snag an apple tree. "Yo, this is a big misunderstanding miss." Says Ian as he tries to free himself from the chute. "Well tell dat to the judge because im getting da law." The southern pony then turns around flees yelling 'Call da law. We have a thief of the land'. 'This is not how I picture my day going.' thought Ian. After a few more seconds of struggling he manages to free himself from his chute and land face first in the dirt. When he gets up and looks forwards he sees the red hind quarters of a stallion. "Oh fu-" WHAM.

IANNN. Can you heeaaaaaar meeeeeeeeeee. IAN. WAKE UP." A voice yells. "WAKE UP YOU STUPID FOOL." When Ian's mind finally clears he opens his eyes only to realized his arms were bound together and he was sitting on the seat of a wagon. "What happened yo?" He asks his friend George. "You got knocked the fuck out. Were talking to the law now." Says George. "The law? This is not how I planned my day going."