A New World and A New Friend
"Oh fuck! Oh fuck, what the fuck is this shit!?" Exclaimed Joey looking at the two young girls before him. The first girl was about five feet and six inches, and had very straight hair. The hair was very peculiar in color, because it contained not only one color, but a rainbow that cascaded through each and every follicle to make an array of color that was very pleasing to the eye. Her skin was mostly white with some bruises and scratches littered around in various places on her arms, legs, and chest, which was bare for neither of them were wearing any clothes.
The second girl was slightly taller at five feet and seven inches. Her bright pink hair was done in an insane matter. There were no patterns, it was just a mess of puffy pink hair. Her eyes were a pale blue, and her skin was just as white as the other girl's, but she did not have any scratches or marks on her near perfect skin.
"This can't be happening, this just can't be fucking happening." said Joey holding his short brown hair in his hands whilst pacing back and forth like a mad man.
"What can't be happening?" said the girl with the pink hair looking at him perplexedly. She then looked down at her now more slender and flesh covered body and let out a loud shriek. "What is wrong with my body! What is this! Where are my hooves, and what are these things?!" Exclaimed the Pink haired girl looking down at her hands. "This can't be real, I'm dreaming right Rainbow Dash?" She said whilst looking at the girl with the long rainbow colored hair.
"Pinkie Pie stop it!" said Rainbow Dash clumsily grabbing hold of Pinkie Pie's shoulder. "We need to keep calm if we are going to get through this, we just need to." She said suddenly stopping when she met Joey's dark blue and slightly bloodshot eyes.
Joey was wearing a plain black T-shirt, and navy blue jeans. He wore no socks or foot coverings of any kind, so his coarse feet were clearly visible to the two girls.
"What the heck are you!?" Screamed Rainbow Dash whilst looking at Joey with a look in here eyes that was a combination of crippling fear, and intense rage. "Who the heck are you?!" She said still screaming with the same intensity.
"I could ask you the same damn thing!" Said Joey yelling back at the girl who was still laying on his rough wood apartment floors. "You know what? That is what I am asking you! Who the fuck are you?" He said still yelling at the rainbow haired girl. "I mean you are in my fucking house!"
That moment a a deep voice came through the dry wall, and yelled "Shut the fuck up in there! It's three in the damn morning, and people are trying to sleep."
Joey took a deep breath, and said once again "Alright, who are you two? I'm not mad that you somehow broke into my house, just please tell me who you are so I can drink some bleach, and hopefully kill the part of my brain that is making you two."
Pinkie said whilst holding herself up with her arms and legs, "My name is Pinkie Pie, and this is Rainbow Dash."
Rainbow Dash stood up in a similar manner, and said "Well you know our names, now what's yours?" She still looked at him in a hostile manner, and spoke to him in a similar manner.
"My name is Joey, and I'm assuming you also want to know where you are?"
"Okay two things: one, yes, we want to know where we are, we only asked twice. Two, what kind of name is Joey?!" Rainbow Dash said, now laughing lightly at the man standing before her.
"I could ask you the same thing about your names." Said Joey looking at the two girls who were still completely naked. "I mean what kind of name is Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie? Those sound like the names of a fucking horse or an ass or something. Now, I'm tired, you are obviously real, so please put some damn clothes on."
"May I ask why?" Said Rainbow Dash whom seemed confused about the prospect of wearing clothing casually, and not on special occasions such as the arrival of a political figure, or a formal dance or ball.
"You need to wear some damn clothes, because you can't just be wandering around naked like that. You got a nice body, but still you're gonna get arrested if you walk outside like that."
Joey walked over to a closet, and pulled out two pairs of jet black sweatpants, and two large black T-shirts.
He tossed them to the two girls, and said, " Here, put these on. Also, could you please stop walking on all fours. It makes you look like an animal."
The two awkwardly dressed themselves on the ground without standing, and Pinkie Pie said with a beaming grin, "Thanks!"
The pants barely stayed on them, and the shirt was much to large for their thin frames.
"Wait what do you want us to do, stand up? We are standing up." Said Rainbow Dash, sounding very sure of herself as she stood on her arms and legs."
"No, I mean like how I am standing." Said Joey standing perfectly straight to show a good example of how to stand upright properly.
The two girls struggled for a few minutes, and fell on their backs multiple times, but finally they were balances, and standing up right.
"Thanks Joey!" Yelled Pinkie Pie in a very high pitched and sporadic tone.
"That's fucking it!" Screamed the voice from the other side of the drywall, "I'm coming over, and I am going to fuck you up!"
Moments later a large man busted down the small wooden door, and into the living area where the group had meandered to moments ago. He had a rough face, with a large beard that covered everything, but his neck. He had a whiskey bottle in his, a wood cutting axe in his other. He was about six feet tall, and looked like he weighed in at two hundred pounds with a small beer belly.
He threw the whiskey bottle in his hand, and it shattered on the hard ground littering the shards within a five foot vicinity where the bottle landed.
He began staring at Joey, and held the axe in both of his rough and scarred hands, and then he charged at him with the heavy and rusted blade being held over his head.
Joey dodged the maniacs first charge, and bolted into the kitchen. He began frantically looking through his cabinets, until he found a pot with a viscous blue liquid in it.
"Hell yeah" Muttered joey as he ate a large glob of it.
Instantly his eyes dilated, and two large fangs grew from his canines. The teeth dropped out of his mouth, and were as long as a tigers, and twice as sharp.
The man rushed into the kitchen, and swung again. Joey swiftly dodged, and pulled a carrot out of a drawer, took a bite out of, and said, "What's up doc." before swiftly shoving it in his ear.
Joey ran out into the living room where Pinkie Pie lay hiding behind the couch from the whole fiasco, but Rainbow Dash was no where to be seen.
In the midst of scanning the room for the rainbow haired girl, he took a swing from the axe to his back.
"Fuck!" Exclaimed Joey now laying on the ground bleeding. "Hey man have you ever heard of the song Bloodrocuted, well I'll tell you one thing; blood is an energy condenser, and you are my outlet!"
Joey quickly grabbed a plug, and nearly plugged it into his wound, but then Rainbow Dash came out of no where, and hit him upside the head with a black iron frying pan.
"Dammit Rainbow Dash!" Said looking aggravated. "I had my one liner, I had my plug, and well I guess that's it, but still couldn't you have let me do it."
"First of all, why the heck are you complaining about me saving your life?! Whoa! You're bleeding, a lot! Where the heck is a hospital?!" Said Rainbow Dash no longer worrying about anything, but making sure the creature before her didn't bleed out.
"I'll be fine, just grab that." Said Joey pointing to a syringe with a clear liquid in it sitting on the coffee table.
Rainbow Dash complied, and said "How is that going to help?"
Joey Replied with, "Don't worry it will fix me up."
Joey then injected the liquid into his wound, and his now normal looking eyes dilated once again, and his wound began releasing a jet black liquid that spilled out profusely. The liquid began to harden, and rushed back to the wound, and began to stitch together the massive gash that was created by the axe.
"What the.." Said Rainbow Dash unable to complete her sentence in awe of what she was seeing,
"Oh this? This is child-play."
"Who did you say you were again?" Said Pinkie poking her out from behind the couch.
"I'm Joey, but I do have a title. I am the Southwest Voodoo Wizard, and looking at you two, and this might be the trauma from the axe wound, and the whatever the hell you call what just stitched me up, but I think we are all going to be good friends."
.
The sun was shining brightly upon the ghetto in which Joey's small apartment resided. Cars were screaming, bums were begging, and people were fighting over who stole the last blunt, all part of a typical Monday afternoon. Joey had just left Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash alone within his residence, as they had been here for a couple of weeks, and he trusted them.
The duo awoke around noon, and began exploring the apartment as they had every time they woke up, because they always seemed to find something interesting, and on the rare occasion, horrifying.
On the fourth day they were staying with Joy they had found a strange liquid being kept in the freezer. Even though the freezer was kept at its coldest, the liquid was still lukewarm. The two decided it would be a good idea to take it out, and open the lid which was sealed very tightly around the container. After a lot of trial and error, concerning their hands, pliers, and eventually a crowbar, the two eventually opened it up to reveal a yellowish brown liquid that smelled strongly of sulfur. The liquid seemed to be churning in the container even though the two were giving it no stimulus. The two argued about what to do, before coming to the decision of drinking some, which was conceived after a long string of "Pinkie Logic." After a few more minutes of arguing it was decided that Rainbow Dash would drink a very minuscule amount. While the smell was that of sulfur, it tasted like nothing. Rainbow Dash quickly grew light headed, and fell down. Her eyes began to turn ruby red, and her flesh began turning the same color. There was a burning sensation going throughout Rainbow Dash's body, but it was not terrible, just slightly uncomfortable, as if she had just obtained a light sunburn. It did not look like a sunburn though. By the end of the process she was ruby red, and her eyes were glowing that color. Pinkie touched her, and it burned, but not like the sunburn intensity that Rainbow Dash had just experienced, more like that of touching hot coals, or fire itself. Pinkie fell back as a small layer of fire covered her friend, who didn't seem to be flinching. Rainbow Dash couldn't feel it all. After the fire had taken over, Rainbow Dash passed out, and upon her falling unconscious the fire, and the red skin went away. Pinkie put the liquid back into the freezer, and neither of them ever told Joey about the experience.
This morning the girls were rummaging through Joey's room, and what they found was alien to say the least. Pinkie found a large chest covered in articles of clothing ranging from a few jackets to undergarments. Within the chest lay a plethora of books. The books were bound in rough leather, and when Pinkie Pie opened one up, she found that the pages were made from rough parchment. The words were in some language unfamiliar to her.
"I wonder what this is?" Thought Pinkie Pie as she turned through the pages, and struggling to pronouncing some of the simpler words.
"What do you have there?" Asked Rainbow Dash putting down a jar which contained a thick red slime.
"Some book." Said Pinkie Pie to her friend, "I don't know any of the words though."
Rainbow Dash snatched the book from Pinkie Pie, and ran her finger across a few lines," I wish Twilight was here, she would know what this is." Said Rainbow Dash, sighing and sitting down on Joey's bed, throwing the book to the side.
Upon the book hitting the ground, it opened to a page near the middle of the tome, and upon looking at this, Rainbow noticed one thing. The letters were in English characters! None of the other pages seemed to be like this, even after she looked through the whole book it see if any others were written in this fashion.
When she read the words of that page to herself, something clicked inside of her. She began to look over the instructions to perform the act that was titled as, "The Bleeding Serpent." She began by drawing a pentagram with chalk that she found in another box, after she completed the pentagram, she began to frantically look around for the other ingredients. Pinkie stared at her, perplexed by her friend's sudden change of pace from curiosity, to attempting to create something from Joey's book. It was not like her, the creation of potions, and other such things were typically within Twilight Sparkle's line of expertise, but as Rainbow Dash found more and more of the ingredients, such as a vile of snake blood, a few leaves of dub, and a clay mold of a small serpent. All of these things she set in the middle of the pentagram. Pinkie noticed another thing as her friend worked diligently on this project she knew not the details of, Rainbow Dash's eyes become jet black, almost as if her eyes were shrouded by shadow.
As Rainbow Dash continued her simple quest to complete this, Pinkie Pie dashed for the land line, and quickly dialed Joey.
"Hello?" Asked Joey as he picked up the phone on his end.
"This is Pinkie, something is wrong with Dashie, her eyes are all black, and she is doing weird things, like drawing symbols with chalk, and putting stuff in the symbols, and..." Said Pinkie, overexerting herself.
"What symbols, what stuff, what!?" I asked Joey, in a worried, frantic tone.
"I don't know what to call it, but she was reading one of your books in your room." Said Pinkie, seeming just as worried as Joey was.
"Dammit Pinkie!" Exclaimed Joey, "I told you not to go into my room, because there is shit in there you should not be playing with. I'll be right there!"
Pinkie hung up the phone, and walked in Joey's room to check on Rainbow Dash, who was muttering strange words, that she was not able to understand.
Rainbow Dash had placed the clay serpent directly in the middle of the pentagram, and poured the vial of serpent blood into the middle of it's coiled clay body. The dub leaves were placed around it, and let on fire producing a thick smoke in the room. As Rainbow Dash continued chanting, the snake began to absorb the blood put into the middle, making the beige clay snake into a more crimson color. The snake's once hard eyes, blinked, and then began to cry a thick red liquid, blood!
The snake uncoiled and began to slither around the room until it coiled around Rainbow Dash's arm. It moved up her arm, until it reached her ear, and whispered what sounded like gibberish into Rainbow Dash's ear. The serpent proceeded to blend into the flesh of Rainbow Dash, forming a tattoo of the serpent. Rainbow Dash's eyes began to pour out light streams of blood, and her skin began to turn the same crimson color as the snake, as the snake formed a more black color on her skin.
Rainbow Dash stared at Pinkie Pie with a smirk, and walked slowly toward her.
"Dashie?" Asked Pinkie Pie, her knees shaking, and with a terrified expression painted upon her face.
Pinkie Pie took a few more steps back before Rainbow Dash pounced on Pinkie Pie. She dripped blood on Pinkie's flesh which burned slightly, and then became cold, and then hot again.
The door slammed open as Joey ran through to see this scene.
"Fuck." He said, shaking his head.
"Pinkie, this is why you don't go in my room." Said Joy, walking over to Rainbow Dash.
The snake tattoo's eyes shifted to Joey, and Rainbow Dash let go of Pinkie, and lunged at Joey, quickly, and at full force. Joey was quickly knocked into his room as Rainbow Dash cornered him, her skin still crimson red, and her eyes bleeding. Rainbow Dash picked up a kitchen knife from the bookshelf right next to her, and began to slowly walk over to Joey.
"Don't hurt her!" Yelled Pinkie from the other room.
"Well, that removes those three plans." Said Joey, standing up, and regaining his stance. "Damn demons always trying to ruin my fucking day." Said Joey, wiping some blood from his mouth, and motioning for Rainbow Dash to charge at him, which she did, but this time Joey was prepared, and was able to swiftly dodge out of the way. Joey sprinted out of his room, and ran into the kitchen.
"Where the fuck is the...Aha!" Exclaimed Joey as he produced a tiny vile containing an even smaller amount of black crystals. "Alright serpent, time to go back to hell."
Joey took out one crystal, and shattered it in his right hand. His hand quickly grow jet black, as did his arm up to the point of his elbow.
Rainbow Dash charged again, this time holding a razor sharp hatchet, "Dammit, that's my good hatchet!" Exclaimed Joey pointing at it with his black hand. This hand began to emit a thin black mist. "Come on out of her my old friend, you do want to play don't you?" Asked Joy, taunting the creature.
The serpent began to leave Rainbow Dash, leaving the tattoo form, and becoming more of a serpent. This time however, the creature was not a half foot long, it was ten feet long, and a back of spines as well as dragon-like wings.
"Wait, one last thing." Said Joy, looking through the fridge, and pulling out an orange liquid.
"Is that something else to help?" Asked Pinkie Pie, perplexed by the orange liquid.
"No." replied Joey, "This is just some orange juice."
He laughed, and charged at the beast which quickly dodged out of his way. This is exactly want Joey wanted. He did a flip, landing on his normal arm, and balancing on the hatchet which now lay on the ground.
"You two may want to go into the restroom, it's about to get messy." Said Joey, locking eyes with the serpent.
Pinkie quickly grabbed Rainbow Dash, and dragged her into the restroom.
"Alright my friend, ready to die?" Asked Joey, as he grew a smirk.
The beast quickly charged at him once more, and Joey dodged, making it to his feet. He had his hatchet in one arm, and his black arm was still emitting mist, but now it was more concentrated around the fist. Joey ran at the beast, and swung his hatchet witch the creature dexterously dodged. This left it open to a punch from the black arm which phased right through the creature.
As his arm phased into the creature Joey seemed to become more serene, and less bat shit crazy. He calmly moved his hand up to where the throat of this beast would be, and looked up at it with a cold look. He twisted his arm, and pulled out the clay serpent which was within this great beast.
The serpent quickly disapaited into a smell black humanoid creature, and looked at Joey with an uncertain look.
"You hurt her you know, you hurt both of them." Said Joey, still with a cold expression upon his face.
The humanoid looked up at him with a wicked smile, and said, "And it was fun."
Joey quickly took his hatchet and slashed the creature in half, causing it to dissipate into a pile of ashes.
"Alright well that's done!" Said Joey laughing as he began to come back to his usual self.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash came out, and Pinkie Pie gave Joey a tight hug, and Rainbow Dash just retired to where she normally slept.
"Go into my room again while I'm not here, and you'll go where he's going." Said Joey, going into his room and locking the door.
"What!" Exclaimed Pinkie Pie.
"Good night!" Yelled back Joey.
"It's four in the afternoon!" Returned Pinkie Pie
"Close enough!" Said Joey, as the sound of snoring came from his room.
Pinkie Pie sat down, and began to think about where she was, and what was happening in this world, and all the conclusions she came to were not her typical happy go lucky ones, but bad ones, unfortunately accurate ones.
"It's been two weeks." Thought Pinkie, something fun is bound to happen soon. She then laid down on the couch, and slowly drifted off to sleep. She dreamed of cupcakes.
Author's Note
Alright, this isn't the best ever, but I wanted to write something, so another chapter of this. I hope you enjoy it, I'll make a more comedy based chapter next time, but I was tired, so if you laugh, good, if not...I hope you enjoyed it anyway.
