The Gift Horseby AutumnschildChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 1“I dunno, Twi,” said Applejack as the two mares trotted through the snow covered streets of Ponyville. “Maybe it’s just Pinkie being Pinkie. Did your letter say somethin’ or other about bein’ scared, too?” Twilight nodded, but kept her eyes forward. “In the postscript, yes. But she also said it was important.” “Yeah,” huffed Applejack. “But did it have ta be important on Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve?” As if punctuating her question, Daisy, Rose, and Lily galloped past them, screaming nonsense. Something about the horror of it all and some unmentioned approaching doom. “What the… hay?” asked Applejack. “I don’t even ask anymore,” said Twilight, shrugging it off as the trio burst into a nearby house and slammed the door shut. Focusing on the matter of Pinkie Pie’s note, she continued. “Maybe Pinkie’s lonely, what with the Cakes gone down south for the week.” Applejack let out a sigh and watched her white puff of breath float up and away, coiling in the snowy evening air before eventually dissipating. “Could be. I imagine bein’ alone on Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve is the worst.” Twilight said nothing, but couldn’t hide the look that flashed across her face, or her pinned back ears. “Ah, shucks, Sugarcube. I forgot yer folks are off in the Crystal Empire visitin’ yer brother and Princess Cadence.” “I-it’s alright,” Twilight lied with a smile, “I’ve spent Hearth’s Warming Eve alone before. It’s not that bad.” “What about Spike? Where’d he get off to?” “He’s at home, sleeping. Has been for the last two days.” she said with a shrug. “I think he has another growth spurt coming on. Just last Wednesday he bumped his head on the bottom of the opened freezer door.” The purple princess giggled softly, “You should have seen the look on his face, Applejack; torn between the grumbling about the bump on his head and his excitement at being taller.” Applejack nodded, “Mmhmm, I’m a might familiar with that particular expression, what with not-so-little Applebloom. I swear that girl’s gonna be as tall as me come next apple bucking season.” “Yeah, I can see that happening,” Twilight added with a more sincere smile. “But, if’n yer lookin’ for some ponies ta spend the holiday with, well I—“ A sudden panicky hiss blurted out of the darkened building before them and they stopped walking. “Psst!” it sounded again. The two ponies found themselves standing in front of shuttered exterior of Sugarcube Corner, as a particularly bone-chilling wind raced across their coats. “Pinkie Pie is that you?” asked a put-upon Applejack. Sugarcube Corner’s front door creaked open, revealing the backlit outline of a familiar looking pony, standing on her hindlegs. “Pinkie Pie? What’s this all abOOOUT?!” yelped the librarian, as two impossibly long pink limbs bounced out of the darkness and wound themselves tightly around the shivering mares. Screaming out of equal parts confusion and alarm, Twilight realized that she was bound and being dragged inside. She kicked, she pulled, she tried everything her panic-addled mind could think of, but her fight-or-flight response was hard-stuck on the latter. As the two fear-maddened ponies passed the threshold, the door to Sugarcube Corner slammed shut. Once more silence filled the streets of Ponyville. Silence and snow. Chapter 2The next thing Twilight remembered was the sound of laughter. Scratchy, loud, and infuriatingly familiar laughter. “Wow, Pinkie Pie. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you prank anypony that hard ever.” “That wasn’t a prank, Dashie, I needed to test out my new horse grabbers,” the pink party pony replied matter-of-factly. Twilight opened her eyes, but winced as they adjusted to the well-lit interior. “Horse grabbers?” she asked, as she looked around. Sugarcube Corner’s front room was empty save for four of her best friends and herself. Pinkie Pie stood in the center of the room, grinning broadly at two bizarre constructs bolted to the floor. Each one looked like a harpoon gun had a baby with a barber’s pole’s ugly cousin. The still snickering Rainbow Dash was hovering over a tangled up Applejack, flapping her wings in long lazy arcs. “You, ha-ha, you shoulda seen the look on your face, Applejack,” the cyan pony said wiping a tear from her eye. “Priceless.” “Laugh it up, Rainbow. When I get outta these ropes, yer next.” Rainbow Dash snorted. “I’d like to see you try.” “Yeah, I reckon ya would, wouldn’t ya?” The farmpony said through half-lidded eyes. “Oh, my goodness,” answered a blushing Fluttershy. Turning her head as best she could, wrapped in thick pink cord as she was, Twilight watched the demure yellow pegasus next to her trying to help untangle her bindings. “Thanks, Fluttershy, but I think I’ve got this.” She closed her eyes and blinked out of existence with a trivial effort of will. Half a moment later, she was standing clear on the other side of the room by the fireplace. “Horse grabbers?” Twilight asked again. Pinkie Pie turned and trotted over to her. “Yepperoni, pepperoni! We need them to catch… it.” Twilight squinted at the silly mare. “It?” “No, no. It. Say it with a flourish.” “IT?” “Close, try it again.” “It?” Pinkie Pie nodded. “Okay… So, who’s it?” Pinkie looked left. Then she looked right. She motioned for her to step closer. Twilight did, and Pinkie Pie took a step closer herself, closing the gap between the two. Then she leaned forward and whispered two small words into Twilight’s right ear. Twilight blinked at her, “What’s a Gift Horse?” *KRACK-A-THOOOM* answered an oddly timely crack of thunder. A fell wind blasted open the front door and forced its way in, snuffing out the warmth and light of the fireplace. Terrified shouts filled the ensuing darkness. “Not yet, I’m not ready!” screamed Pinkie Pie. “Get these dang-blasted ropes offa me!” hollered Applejack. “I’m trying I’m trying, but it’s too dark! Oh no, oh my, oh no, oh—“ whimpered Fluttershy. Somewhere by the door, Rainbow Dash called out over the howling wind. “That’s once for Twilight!” And then the door was shut, silencing the wind, but not the ponies. “ENOUGH!” boomed Twilight, as a purple fireball lit up the darkness and flew into the fireplace, reigniting it. “Rainbow Dash, help Fluttershy get Applejack free. Applejack, stop struggling. Fluttershy, don’t forget to breath. And... Pinkie Pie?” Twilight looked around for the Element of Laughter, but couldn’t spot her. “Yes Twilight?” Pinkie Pie answered from above. Twilight looked up and saw her pink friend hanging from a ceiling fan. Her mane frazzled beyond its regular poofiness. A purple aura wrapped itself around the mare and moved her closer to the fireplace where she was softly plopped down to the floor. “I don’t know how you did that but can we hold off on any more scares? It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve after all. Not Nightmare Night.” “But Twilight,” Pinkie said bubbly as her eyes darted around the room watching the fire’s shadow dance in every nook and corner, “that wasn’t me. It was the you-know-who.” “The Gift Horse?” *KRACK-A-THOOOM* More screaming. Rainbow rushed back over to the door and slammed it shut just as it started to fly open again. “That’s twice for Twilight.” Twilight huffed and rolled her eyes. “This is ridiculous. What’s a Gi—“ “Twilight Stop!” all four mares shouted at once. “Holy cow, girl,” Applejack said, shaking the last of the pink cord from her left hindleg. “Yer gonna summon the durn thing if ya keep this up.” Twilight stomped a hoof in frustration. “Does somepony want to tell me what the hay we’re talking about?” Applejack blinked in disbelief at her oblivious friend. “You mean ta say that ya don’t know about... it?” “No, I don’t. What is a Gi… it?” “A monster,” answered Pinkie Pie, warming her hooves by the fireplace. “A monster that brings presents...” She turned to face her purple friend, “Presents and terror.” “Why would a monster bring presents?” “Nopony knows,” answered Fluttershy, stroking her tail, “But everypony knows that you can summon… it… by saying its name three times on Hearth’s Warming Eve.” “This is ridiculous,” Twilight scoffed, “I’ve never heard of—“ “It is not ridiculous, Twi” Applejack spit back, “Why when I was a little filly, my cousin’s boyfriend’s uncle once summoned… it in Manehattan. It gave him a right nice box of cigars. Too bad it scared the stripes right off him.” “Zebra?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Nope, military. They had ta discharge the poor feller ‘cause he went crazy, always carryin’ on ‘bout horses and shadows.” “Oh, please,” Twilight giggled dismissively. “That has urban legend written all over it.” Applejack looked at her unbelieving friend with hurt in her eyes. “Twilight… Ya think I’m lyin’?” “No! No, no no no. I don’t. I believe that you think it’s true. I just think that it’s a tall tale that some well-meaning soul told you, that’s all.” The Alicorn smiled half-heartedly, “Who told you this story in the first place?” “My cousin’s boyfriend’s uncle.” Applejack said, watching the smile on Twilight’s face wilt away. “Oh.” “On a court mandated visit away from the asylum.” “Oh.” “Eeyup.” “But… But why haven’t I heard of it? I’ve had just as many Hearth’s Warmings as the rest of you. Plus I read everything all the time! You’d think a story about a monster that drives ponies crazy would have, I don’t know, come up once or twice.” “Maybe it never comes to Canterlot?” offered Fluttershy. “When’s the last time you researched holiday monsters?” asked Rainbow Dash, now leaning casually against the front door. “A few years ago, when I… was sent to Ponyville and we beat Nightmare Moon…” “Been a might busy since then, have ya, sugarcube?” asked a knowing Applejack. “Maybe a little,” replied Twilight with a blush. Pinkie Pie said nothing, but walked away from the fireplace and over the closer of her two horse grabbers. Once there, she began winding the thick pink cord back around its central housing. “So…” asked Twilight as she watched Pinkie Pie turn the crank. “Why in Celestia’s name are you trying to catch it?” Pinkie Pie grinned broadly at her oblivious friend, “Because it brings presents!” “Presents?” Twilight asked flatly. “Presents!” Pinkie replied bubbly. “Okay, so stop me if I’m wrong, but… Your plan is to summon an insanity inducing monster here, capture it, and then… what, ask it for a present?” “No silly, I’m going to take the all presents!” “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re going to summon it, capture it, and then steal from it,” Twilight said flatly. “You know,” admonished Pinkie Pie. “When you say it that way, Negative Nancy, it sounds like a terrible plan.” “That’s because it is a terrible plan.” “Yeah, uh, I’m not so sure about this anymore, Pinks,” said an unusually nervous Rainbow Dash. “I mean, you had me at presents earlier today, but…” “Oh, Dashie, you’re so silly, that’s what we have blindfolds for, remember?” Pinkie Pie fished a silk sleep mask out of her mane, and strapped it around her forehead, just above the eyebrows. “Once it’s captured, we can just take its present bag.” “And what’s your plan for after you’ve robbed this thing that you’ve tied up in the front room of Sugarcube Corner?” huffed an exasperated Twilight. Pinkie laughed, “I figured I’d cross that bridge when I burn it down.” “Don’t you mean—” Pinkie tuned out the rest of Twilight’s tirade and finished cranking the first horse grabber until it clicked. Then she bounced over to the second one and interrupted the rest of the dressing-down with two words. “Gift Horse!” *KRACK-A-THOOOM* “Pinkie Pie!” the four other mares shouted in unison. “What? It’s the first time I’ve said it! Well, technically the second, but I whispered the first, and I don’t think that it coun—“ Before she could finish her thought, a wicked sounding whinny boomed through the evening air. “What was that?” “It came from outside!” Pinkie Pie giggled in delight as she quickly wound the last crank. “It’s the Gift Horse!” *KRACK-A-THOOOM* That same morose call cried out into the winter storm just beyond their door. Applejack rushed over to help Rainbow Dash hold the door in place. With a click, the second horse grabber was fully cranked and Pinkie Pie beamed a feral smile. She galloped over to the door and pushed her two friends aside. The door flew open and once again the fireplace went out, casting the room in darkness. Pinkie Pie rose up on her hind legs, and stood fast against the wind, trying to see the creature out in the darkness. “Twilight, horn!” she shouted. A purple light burst into life behind her, illuminating the snow, and casting a long shadow before her. “Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, get to your stations!” “On it!” replied Rainbow Dash, soaring to her spot behind the first horse grabber. Fluttershy rushed to her position too, but was too terrified to utter anything above a pitiful series of squeaks. Pinkie Pie squinted out against the blizzard that raged around the bakery. She raised her right forehoof and waited for movement. She didn’t have to wait for long. Something, a form half-buried in the snow, rose up on its hind legs and whinnied into the night, wheeling it’s front legs through the air. Pinkie dropped her hoof back down to her side, and the horse grabbers fired. Two lengths of pink cord flew through the air, racing right past the party pony at high speed. In half a heartbeat, the figure outside found itself wrapped in coils against its will, and dragged into the eerie purple light emanating out of Sugarcube Corner. The whinnying continued and Pinkie Pie resumed barking orders. “Fireplace!” she yelled as she held one hoof up to her blindfold, ready to pull it down in a moment’s notice. “Get ready for the scare of your life girls!” “Wai—“ called Applejack, but it was too late. The fireplace was lit. Five ponies gasped. It wasn’t… it. It was much worse that it. It was Rarity. Her eyes were clenched tight and she whinnied again. The unicorn fashionista writhed and thrashed against the coiled mass that held her down. Then she peeked open one eye and focuses in one of the pink cords wrapped around her. “Tentacles!” she screamed, both eyes now as wide as saucers. “My horoscope was right!” The terrified white unicorn bucked and galloped in place as best she could shouting “Every mare for herself!” Somewhere beyond her, Rarity thought she heard laughter. Scratchy, loud, and infuriatingly familiar laughter. “Rarity,” said a calm and rational voice. Rarity, surprised as she was, tumbled over. When she looked up, she saw Twilight looking at her with pity in her eyes. “Twilight, help! Tentacles!” she begged. Twilight rolled her eyes, and helped her overly dramatic friend to her hooves. The pink cord glowed a soft purple and released its grasp on Rarity who clambered out of the mess and walked over to the fire place. It was only then that she was able to take in the rest of her surroundings. Pounding on the front door was a hysterical Rainbow Dash, who shook so hard with laughter that she had to fight for breath. Sitting next to her was Applejack, who was practically vibrating as she bit down on the rim of her hat to stop herself from laughing. Fluttershy flitted through the air and landed next to her and offered a few calming strokes of the back. Even Fluttershy had a curious uptick to the corners of her mouth. Rarity pouted at that fact. Twilight was walking in small circles and carrying on about ‘holidays’ this and ‘monsters’ that. Pinkie Pie, oddly enough, was grumbling to herself as she worked a large crank on some awful contraption of hers. With each rotation, Rarity watched as one of the dreadful pink tentacles began to wrap itself around… Rarity gasped. “Pinkie Pie... you did this to me?” “Sorry,” she said with a wince. “Sorry? Sorry?! Don’t you think your little prank was funny? Rainbow Dash certainly does.” A sudden question hit Twilight, “What were you doing out there, anyway?” “I discovered a letter on my door telling me to come over.” she said before turning to look at Pinkie Pie, “Though truth be told, I’d rather have finished that bottle of merlot by the fire if I knew that by ‘scary’ you meant ‘tentacles.’” “It wasn’t a prank. We’re trying to catch… it.” Rarity’s ears flattened. “It? What do you mean it? I… Oh. Oh my. Pinkie Pie, truly?” “Seriously? I’m the only one who didn’t know what it was?” asked Twilight. The other mares in the room nodded. Rarity rubbed her chin with a hoof. “But why?” before any of the girls could answer, she shot up and looked wildly about around the room. “How many times have you all said—“ Rainbow Dash, having regained a bit of her composure, pointed a hoof. “Twilight and Pinkie Pie are both at two.” Pinkie Pie nodded at the satisfying click from the first crank, and walked over to the second. “Presents,” was all she had to say on the matter. Rarity blinked at her. “She’s serious, isn’t she?” Again, the other mares in the room nodded. “Do you all have a plan for what comes after?” Nopony nodded. “So then why in Equestria are we doing this?” Pinkie Pie focuses back on the last crank and turned it while a dreadfully silence hung in the air. There was a final click and she smiled once again. “Because presents.” she said with soft finality. Taking a moment to glance at the door one last time, Applejack was the first to voice her assessment. “Shucks, I can’t leave now. Not when yer ‘bout ta summon some freaky critter from beyond.” “Pssh, like I’m gonna go to all this effort and not get a totally awesome present,” said Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy voiced a similar opinion “I’m just glad that we’re all together on Hearth’s Warming Eve.” Rarity nodded apprehensively. “I guess we’re all in,” said Twilight, her ears flattened against the top of her head. “Uh… Not that I’m scared or nothin’, but could I get a blindfold too?” asked Applejack. Blindfolds were distributed, instructions were given, and hugs were exchanged. Finally, Pinkie Pie moved into her position by the front door. She turned to look over her shoulder, ignoring the pinch in her knee. “Ready?” Five affirmations later, Pinkie Pie took a deep breath and flung the door open. Then she said those two terrifying words, “Gift Horse.” The fireplace went out and the girls all screamed, even Pinkie Pie. Outside there was no thunder. There was no lightning. There was no wind. There was no Ponyville. Chapter 3Twilight Sparkle was trying desperately to think up a plan, but all the shouting just wasn’t helping. “WHERE DID THE WORLD GO?!” demanded Pinkie Pie staring into the blackness beyond Sugarcube Corner’s door. She reached a hoof out and tapped where the ground should have been. Should have been. “THERE WAS A PONYVILLE HERE, BUT IT’S GONE NOW!” “I… I CAN’T FLY. I CAN’T FLY!” shrieked a furiously flapping Rainbow Dash, jumping up and down as hard as she could. “Any ya’ll feelin’ particularly drained alluva sudden?” asked Applejack with heavy lidded eyes. “OF ALL THE POSSIBLE THINGS THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!” Rarity was somewhere off to Twilight’s left, sobbing her eyes out. “Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh—” if the shivering lump desperately hugging her right was of any indication, Fluttershy was still with them. Twilight fought through the lethargy that pulled at her senses, and pushed as much magic as she could muster into her horn to light the… light the... Twilight’s eyes went wide and she tried again. Still nothing. It was like all of her magic was just gone. Like it was never there in the first place. “I HAVE NO MAGIC!” The screaming ponies were struck mute when a sudden chill filled the otherwise still air, followed by a thud from the nearby pantry. A loud ominous thud followed by a bone chilling cry. “What was that?” asked Rarity quietly as she nervously trotted in place. Twilight shook her head, “I… don’t know. It doesn’t sound like any animal I know.” Fluttershy shook like a leaf, “I-it’s the Gift H-h-h—” was all she could manage before she shifted into squeaks and eeps. Pinkie Pie looked at the closed pantry door, next to the front counter of Sugarcube Corner, and rubbed the top of her head in thought. Then she looked back over to her horse catchers. Her, completely-stationary-and-aimed-at-the-front-door, horse catchers. “Oopsies,” she said. Rainbow Dash, still flapping as best she could but getting nowhere fast, looked over her shoulder at her cringing friend. “Whadda ya mean, ‘oopsies’?” Pinkie Pie sat down and tapped her forehooves together “I… I thought the Gift Horse would come in through the front door.” Twilight, having some time to adjust her eyes to the darkness, looked down at the bases of the two horse grabbers and noticed that they were both thoroughly bolted to the floor. “They don’t turn! Why don’t they turn?” “I thought it would come in the front door!” Pinkie Pie fired back. “But it’s in the closet, innit?” asked a sleepy-eyed Applejack, who was trying her absolute best to stay awake. “Pantry,” corrected Pinkie Pie. The strange voice cried out again, this time making different and yet still wholly alien sounds. “So you didn’t build them to turn?!” asked Rainbow Dash. “Who enters a house through a closet?!” Pinkie Pie replied. “Pantry!” The other girls corrected in unison. “WHATEVER!” shouted Pinkie Pie. The monster in the pantry called out, from its tone, there was no mistaking that it had heard Pinkie Pie’s sudden outburst. “What’ll we do?” whispered Rainbow Dash between rapid breaths. “Maybe y’all wanna take a nap?” said Applejack, curling up on the floor with her sleep mask on. “You can do what you want,” said Pinkie Pie as she slapped on her blindfold. “But I’m going to sit right here and get my present.” Before anypony could object, there a click; The sound of somepony turning a doorknob. Twilight swiveled in place and stared in dread as the pantry door began to open. Before she could get a good look inside, there was a second click. A mechanical click. And her vision was filled with blinding light. Fluttershy, in a blind panic, ran off as best she could, only to collide moments later with an equally frantic Rarity, knocking both girls to the floor in front of the counter. “Arg! My, eyes!” cried Twilight as she rubbed and blinked away the spots in her eyes. But the sight that greeted her eyes made her wish she hadn’t. It was the Gift Horse, and it loomed over the sleeping form of Applejack. With one of its large terrible eyes, it stared at an oblivious Pinkie Pie, and with the other it watched Rainbow Dash. Truly, this creature was the stuff of madness and nightmares. Its head was horse-like in nature, lending credence to the name Gift ‘Horse’. But that was where all familiarity ended. After that, it was all ‘welcome to crazy town’. The monster stood on two impossibly long legs, covered in plaid pants. It hunched over to move about, but at its full height it must have stood at least six feet tall. Six feet! The impossible creature crept along on its two legs with the troubling grace of a natural-born predator. It had a pinkish-tan hairless torso and two limbs, like bone filled tubes of taffy, jutted out of its brown furred horse neck and swung about with unnerving ease. At the end of each limb were fleshy claws that curved and curled as they gripped its portable light source and gripped the handle of a large burlap sack. The disconnect between the familiarity of the creature’s head, and the unnatural nature of the rest of it was almost too much for Twilight, who struggled to keep from fainting at the sight of it. Its breathing was hollow and heavy, and even when it jabbered on in its guttural alien language, its mouth never moved. It just hung open in an expression of perpetual surprise. But the worst part of it all? The worst part was the eyes. The eyes never blinked. Twilight tried to look away to save what was left of her sanity, but she couldn’t. Celestia help her, the Gift Horse was entirely upsetting and extraordinarily fascinating. Rainbow Dash stared at the two hoofless legs of the Gift Horse. They ended in long fleshy slabs with five little nubs at the front of each one. It was super creepy, but she knew that if she looked at the rest of it, then she’d probably go crazy like Applejack’s cousin’s Uncle’s boyfriend, or whatever. She watched it walk up to Applejack and leave a gift in front of the sleeping mare. That was pretty cool. Then it got up to walk over to her. That was definitely not cool. “T-twilight? It’s coming over here. What do I do? What do I do?!” asked a hiccupping Rainbow Dash. “I don’t know!” replied her friend. “Just… don’t look at it. And don’t make it angry!” The Gift Horse took another step closer and barked some gibberish at her. Rainbow Dash flared out her wings and lowered her head. “Go away!” she threatened as menacingly as possible. For what it was worth, the Gift Horse did take a step back. And then aimed its light at her. Rainbow Dash watched in horror as the portable spotlight lit up a circle of her flesh, going this way and that, looking for… something? Then it fell upon her cutie mark and the monster muttered something to itself before rummaging through its sack once more. Rainbow Dash trembled and fought against her equine instincts to flee, choosing instead to stand her ground and defend those she considered most precious to her. A box filled her vision. It wasn’t as tall as Applejack’s present was, but it was longer. And it was covered in happy clouds and rainbow wrapping paper. A little girly, but she appreciated the effort. “Hey, cool!” she said looking up with a smile, “Tha—“ “Rainbow, no!” squeaked Twilight. But it was too late. Rainbow Dash buzzed her wings uselessly as her eyes traced the monster’s every line and curve. Then her eyes rolled up into the back of her head and Equestria’s fastest flier passed out on top of her present. Pinkie Pie sat there with a grin on her face. She was finally going to get a gift from the Gift Horse! All these years of planning and psyching herself up for it had finally paid off. She could feel the creature get closer with each of its curiously heavy sounding hoofsteps, and with each step her curly tail swished left and right. The creature stopped in front of her, and she heard it kneel down. Her senses were invaded with the scents of rubber and… aftershave? She laughed as the two smells mingled and tickled her nose. The bizarre creature snarled at her in its alien tongue, but Pinkie Pie just kept on giggling. Soon there was the sound of rustling. Then lifting. Then something cool and papery was gently pressed against her chest. Pinkie Pie gripped the box and grinned like a maniac. “Thank you!” she said in a sing-song voice. She felt the monster pat her on the head, before she heard it rise to its hooves again. Listening hard she could hear the sound of two fleshy sounding hooves walking away. Just two. She couldn’t help but chuckle at that, “Wow, you must look super weird.” Huddled together by the counter, Fluttershy and Rarity squeaked and shivered as they waited for the creature to make its way over to them. Surely this would be the end. “Y-you know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, Rarity,” whispered Fluttershy. “Oh, Fluttershy… There’s something that I have been meaning to tell you as well.” “You go first.” “No, no I insist, you go first.” “Oh no, I couldn’t Rarity.” “Very well, on the count of three, then?” Fluttershy nodded. “One… Two… Three. “I love you.” “I’ve been charging beauty products to your spa account for yea… wait, what?” Rarity blinked at her beautiful yellow friend, and pushed herself out of their hug. “I’m sorry come again?” Something tapped Rarity on the shoulder, but she brushed it off. “You’ve been doing what, now?” Similarly, something tapped Fluttershy on the wing, but she couldn’t be bothered at the moment, “Oh Rarity, I… I just don’t know what to say. I m-mean I’m flattered and all, but—” Both ponies felt that curious tap-tap-tapping again, and they could ignore no longer ignore it. They both looked up from each other and shared a gasp. They’d forgotten the Gift Horse, but it did not forget them. It handed each pony a present. “Bwah-wha?” asked Rarity, before fainting. “G-g-g-gffffffffmmmmah,” agreed Fluttershy, as she fainted, too. It nodded at the two sleeping ponies and turned around to look for the last one without a gift. The purple one watching nervously. Curious, they usually fainted as soon as they saw the mask. Twilight eyed the creature as it strode over to her, dragging its burlap sack behind it with clear purpose. She looked left and saw a still blindfolded Pinkie Pie hugging her unopened gift. She looked right and saw the unlit fireplace. She started walking backwards as she spotted the other unconscious Elements of Harmony. This wasn’t looking good. She continued to back up, and it continued to follow her. Suddenly, her hind end bumped up against the unexpectedly cold glass of the window behind her, and she unfurled her wings with a gasp. Much to her surprise, the Gift Horse grunted something and stumbled backwards, falling on its posterior. It sat there in silence for a moment, and the two creatures from different worlds stared at each other. Then, curiously, it grunted something and gestured at her with its bony appendages. “Are… are you asking me a question?” Twilight hazarded to guess. The Gift Horse cocked its head at her in response. It didn’t ask its question again, instead choosing to crawl over to her on all fours. Twilight was cornered and had nowhere to run. She tried flapping her wings, but it looked like she was just as grounded as Rainbow Dash. Twilight hyperventilated as the alien creature from beyond the pantries of Sugarcube Corner reached out for her. It was going to touch her. She squeezed her eyes shut and found herself praying for a something, anything to save her. Even Discord would be a welcome site at this point. Then she felt it. The strange warmth of it, as it lightly grasped her horn, and flexed her right wing back and forth. She could feel its hot breath on her face, and she fought against every urge to simply let go of consciousness and let the blissful ignorance of sleep sweep her away. Then it stopped. The monster grunted in what sounded like understanding, and she heard the sound of crunching paper. A package was pushed up against her forelegs, and she opened her eyes. It had the most wonderful magenta wrapping paper, covered in glittery stars. “Ooh!” she praised, temporarily forgetting the terror that loomed over her, “Thank you very—” She did it. She cursed herself as she did it. She looked up and into the maw of terror itself. What she saw then, she’d never forget for the rest of her days. Beyond the rubbery teeth of this holiday monster, was a second mouth far back where the throat was supposed to begin. This mouth was small and smooth, smelling of fresh aftershave. Beyond its second set of pink lips was a plethora of teeth, some of them looked like small fangs, perhaps canine in nature. Then she caught a small flickering of light just above the second mouth, further up in the head. She steeled herself and gazed upon those hidden liquid pools so far inside the skin of this alien creature’s head. The Gift Horse had a second pair of eyes. They bored into her own, betraying an intelligence that the unblinking pair on the outside of its head seemed to lack. The second mouth spoke to her in the monster’s alien tongue, and she could no longer bear the horror of it all. Twilight Sparkle fell unconscious. Chapter 4“Well, that’s the last of the presents, squeaky little horse things. Merry Christmas,” said the Gift Horse. The Gift Horse, or Michael as he was known back home, looked around the room and nodded. Another holiday miracle done right. And hey, one of the squeaky little horse things was still conscious. Bonus! Maybe he was getting better at this whole gift giving thing. He stood back up to his full height and bumped his head against the ceiling with a hollow thunk. “Ow! Freaking… tiny houses… Would it kill you to build these things just a little bit taller?” The pink one squawked out some horse-gibberish in response to his question and laughed. Michael rolled his eyes. “Yeah, laugh it up, fuzzy.” She did. Slouching back down, he turned and headed back towards the open pantry. When he reached it, he shut the door and fished a glowing key out of his pocket. He stuck it into the lock and turned it once. When he opened the door again, the inside of the pantry was gone, replaced by a curious workshop filled with stubby little elves running this way and that. They were assembling toys and wrapping bright packages in a flurry of activity. “Yo, Mike,” called out a particularly scruffy looking elf with a clipboard, “we got another door comin’ up in about a minute. This time on a world fulla sentient turtles.” “A minute? Come on, Buddy, I didn’t even have time to put on the whole horse costume for this one. How am I supposed to be dressed for the next one in a minute?” Buddy just looked at him. “Fifty-six seconds. Fifty-five seconds.” Michael walked through the pantry door as pulled it shut behind him as he called back. “Alright, alright, I’m moving. Where’s your Christmas Spirit?” “In Bermuda with my ex-wife. Now get changed.” Pinkie Pie sat in happy silence, holding her package. About a minute after the Gift Horse had left, she felt a sudden warmth on her right side. Her ears popped, and the sounds of Ponyville’s winter storm flared back into life outside Sugarcube Corner. She lifted up her blindfold and was rewarded with the sight of a shaky Twilight Sparkle sitting next to the relit fireplace. She placed the gift on her back and walked over to her shell-shocked friend. A moment later, the pink party pony was sitting next to her princess friend and smiled a soft smile. With concern in her voice, Pinkie Pie asked, “Um, Twilight? Are you alright?” “Never,” her jittery friend muttered, back. “Never what, Twilight?” Twilight turned her head to face her bubbly friend. “Never look the Gift Horse in the mouth.”
Chapter 1“I dunno, Twi,” said Applejack as the two mares trotted through the snow covered streets of Ponyville. “Maybe it’s just Pinkie being Pinkie. Did your letter say somethin’ or other about bein’ scared, too?” Twilight nodded, but kept her eyes forward. “In the postscript, yes. But she also said it was important.” “Yeah,” huffed Applejack. “But did it have ta be important on Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve?” As if punctuating her question, Daisy, Rose, and Lily galloped past them, screaming nonsense. Something about the horror of it all and some unmentioned approaching doom. “What the… hay?” asked Applejack. “I don’t even ask anymore,” said Twilight, shrugging it off as the trio burst into a nearby house and slammed the door shut. Focusing on the matter of Pinkie Pie’s note, she continued. “Maybe Pinkie’s lonely, what with the Cakes gone down south for the week.” Applejack let out a sigh and watched her white puff of breath float up and away, coiling in the snowy evening air before eventually dissipating. “Could be. I imagine bein’ alone on Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve is the worst.” Twilight said nothing, but couldn’t hide the look that flashed across her face, or her pinned back ears. “Ah, shucks, Sugarcube. I forgot yer folks are off in the Crystal Empire visitin’ yer brother and Princess Cadence.” “I-it’s alright,” Twilight lied with a smile, “I’ve spent Hearth’s Warming Eve alone before. It’s not that bad.” “What about Spike? Where’d he get off to?” “He’s at home, sleeping. Has been for the last two days.” she said with a shrug. “I think he has another growth spurt coming on. Just last Wednesday he bumped his head on the bottom of the opened freezer door.” The purple princess giggled softly, “You should have seen the look on his face, Applejack; torn between the grumbling about the bump on his head and his excitement at being taller.” Applejack nodded, “Mmhmm, I’m a might familiar with that particular expression, what with not-so-little Applebloom. I swear that girl’s gonna be as tall as me come next apple bucking season.” “Yeah, I can see that happening,” Twilight added with a more sincere smile. “But, if’n yer lookin’ for some ponies ta spend the holiday with, well I—“ A sudden panicky hiss blurted out of the darkened building before them and they stopped walking. “Psst!” it sounded again. The two ponies found themselves standing in front of shuttered exterior of Sugarcube Corner, as a particularly bone-chilling wind raced across their coats. “Pinkie Pie is that you?” asked a put-upon Applejack. Sugarcube Corner’s front door creaked open, revealing the backlit outline of a familiar looking pony, standing on her hindlegs. “Pinkie Pie? What’s this all abOOOUT?!” yelped the librarian, as two impossibly long pink limbs bounced out of the darkness and wound themselves tightly around the shivering mares. Screaming out of equal parts confusion and alarm, Twilight realized that she was bound and being dragged inside. She kicked, she pulled, she tried everything her panic-addled mind could think of, but her fight-or-flight response was hard-stuck on the latter. As the two fear-maddened ponies passed the threshold, the door to Sugarcube Corner slammed shut. Once more silence filled the streets of Ponyville. Silence and snow.
Chapter 2The next thing Twilight remembered was the sound of laughter. Scratchy, loud, and infuriatingly familiar laughter. “Wow, Pinkie Pie. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you prank anypony that hard ever.” “That wasn’t a prank, Dashie, I needed to test out my new horse grabbers,” the pink party pony replied matter-of-factly. Twilight opened her eyes, but winced as they adjusted to the well-lit interior. “Horse grabbers?” she asked, as she looked around. Sugarcube Corner’s front room was empty save for four of her best friends and herself. Pinkie Pie stood in the center of the room, grinning broadly at two bizarre constructs bolted to the floor. Each one looked like a harpoon gun had a baby with a barber’s pole’s ugly cousin. The still snickering Rainbow Dash was hovering over a tangled up Applejack, flapping her wings in long lazy arcs. “You, ha-ha, you shoulda seen the look on your face, Applejack,” the cyan pony said wiping a tear from her eye. “Priceless.” “Laugh it up, Rainbow. When I get outta these ropes, yer next.” Rainbow Dash snorted. “I’d like to see you try.” “Yeah, I reckon ya would, wouldn’t ya?” The farmpony said through half-lidded eyes. “Oh, my goodness,” answered a blushing Fluttershy. Turning her head as best she could, wrapped in thick pink cord as she was, Twilight watched the demure yellow pegasus next to her trying to help untangle her bindings. “Thanks, Fluttershy, but I think I’ve got this.” She closed her eyes and blinked out of existence with a trivial effort of will. Half a moment later, she was standing clear on the other side of the room by the fireplace. “Horse grabbers?” Twilight asked again. Pinkie Pie turned and trotted over to her. “Yepperoni, pepperoni! We need them to catch… it.” Twilight squinted at the silly mare. “It?” “No, no. It. Say it with a flourish.” “IT?” “Close, try it again.” “It?” Pinkie Pie nodded. “Okay… So, who’s it?” Pinkie looked left. Then she looked right. She motioned for her to step closer. Twilight did, and Pinkie Pie took a step closer herself, closing the gap between the two. Then she leaned forward and whispered two small words into Twilight’s right ear. Twilight blinked at her, “What’s a Gift Horse?” *KRACK-A-THOOOM* answered an oddly timely crack of thunder. A fell wind blasted open the front door and forced its way in, snuffing out the warmth and light of the fireplace. Terrified shouts filled the ensuing darkness. “Not yet, I’m not ready!” screamed Pinkie Pie. “Get these dang-blasted ropes offa me!” hollered Applejack. “I’m trying I’m trying, but it’s too dark! Oh no, oh my, oh no, oh—“ whimpered Fluttershy. Somewhere by the door, Rainbow Dash called out over the howling wind. “That’s once for Twilight!” And then the door was shut, silencing the wind, but not the ponies. “ENOUGH!” boomed Twilight, as a purple fireball lit up the darkness and flew into the fireplace, reigniting it. “Rainbow Dash, help Fluttershy get Applejack free. Applejack, stop struggling. Fluttershy, don’t forget to breath. And... Pinkie Pie?” Twilight looked around for the Element of Laughter, but couldn’t spot her. “Yes Twilight?” Pinkie Pie answered from above. Twilight looked up and saw her pink friend hanging from a ceiling fan. Her mane frazzled beyond its regular poofiness. A purple aura wrapped itself around the mare and moved her closer to the fireplace where she was softly plopped down to the floor. “I don’t know how you did that but can we hold off on any more scares? It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve after all. Not Nightmare Night.” “But Twilight,” Pinkie said bubbly as her eyes darted around the room watching the fire’s shadow dance in every nook and corner, “that wasn’t me. It was the you-know-who.” “The Gift Horse?” *KRACK-A-THOOOM* More screaming. Rainbow rushed back over to the door and slammed it shut just as it started to fly open again. “That’s twice for Twilight.” Twilight huffed and rolled her eyes. “This is ridiculous. What’s a Gi—“ “Twilight Stop!” all four mares shouted at once. “Holy cow, girl,” Applejack said, shaking the last of the pink cord from her left hindleg. “Yer gonna summon the durn thing if ya keep this up.” Twilight stomped a hoof in frustration. “Does somepony want to tell me what the hay we’re talking about?” Applejack blinked in disbelief at her oblivious friend. “You mean ta say that ya don’t know about... it?” “No, I don’t. What is a Gi… it?” “A monster,” answered Pinkie Pie, warming her hooves by the fireplace. “A monster that brings presents...” She turned to face her purple friend, “Presents and terror.” “Why would a monster bring presents?” “Nopony knows,” answered Fluttershy, stroking her tail, “But everypony knows that you can summon… it… by saying its name three times on Hearth’s Warming Eve.” “This is ridiculous,” Twilight scoffed, “I’ve never heard of—“ “It is not ridiculous, Twi” Applejack spit back, “Why when I was a little filly, my cousin’s boyfriend’s uncle once summoned… it in Manehattan. It gave him a right nice box of cigars. Too bad it scared the stripes right off him.” “Zebra?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Nope, military. They had ta discharge the poor feller ‘cause he went crazy, always carryin’ on ‘bout horses and shadows.” “Oh, please,” Twilight giggled dismissively. “That has urban legend written all over it.” Applejack looked at her unbelieving friend with hurt in her eyes. “Twilight… Ya think I’m lyin’?” “No! No, no no no. I don’t. I believe that you think it’s true. I just think that it’s a tall tale that some well-meaning soul told you, that’s all.” The Alicorn smiled half-heartedly, “Who told you this story in the first place?” “My cousin’s boyfriend’s uncle.” Applejack said, watching the smile on Twilight’s face wilt away. “Oh.” “On a court mandated visit away from the asylum.” “Oh.” “Eeyup.” “But… But why haven’t I heard of it? I’ve had just as many Hearth’s Warmings as the rest of you. Plus I read everything all the time! You’d think a story about a monster that drives ponies crazy would have, I don’t know, come up once or twice.” “Maybe it never comes to Canterlot?” offered Fluttershy. “When’s the last time you researched holiday monsters?” asked Rainbow Dash, now leaning casually against the front door. “A few years ago, when I… was sent to Ponyville and we beat Nightmare Moon…” “Been a might busy since then, have ya, sugarcube?” asked a knowing Applejack. “Maybe a little,” replied Twilight with a blush. Pinkie Pie said nothing, but walked away from the fireplace and over the closer of her two horse grabbers. Once there, she began winding the thick pink cord back around its central housing. “So…” asked Twilight as she watched Pinkie Pie turn the crank. “Why in Celestia’s name are you trying to catch it?” Pinkie Pie grinned broadly at her oblivious friend, “Because it brings presents!” “Presents?” Twilight asked flatly. “Presents!” Pinkie replied bubbly. “Okay, so stop me if I’m wrong, but… Your plan is to summon an insanity inducing monster here, capture it, and then… what, ask it for a present?” “No silly, I’m going to take the all presents!” “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re going to summon it, capture it, and then steal from it,” Twilight said flatly. “You know,” admonished Pinkie Pie. “When you say it that way, Negative Nancy, it sounds like a terrible plan.” “That’s because it is a terrible plan.” “Yeah, uh, I’m not so sure about this anymore, Pinks,” said an unusually nervous Rainbow Dash. “I mean, you had me at presents earlier today, but…” “Oh, Dashie, you’re so silly, that’s what we have blindfolds for, remember?” Pinkie Pie fished a silk sleep mask out of her mane, and strapped it around her forehead, just above the eyebrows. “Once it’s captured, we can just take its present bag.” “And what’s your plan for after you’ve robbed this thing that you’ve tied up in the front room of Sugarcube Corner?” huffed an exasperated Twilight. Pinkie laughed, “I figured I’d cross that bridge when I burn it down.” “Don’t you mean—” Pinkie tuned out the rest of Twilight’s tirade and finished cranking the first horse grabber until it clicked. Then she bounced over to the second one and interrupted the rest of the dressing-down with two words. “Gift Horse!” *KRACK-A-THOOOM* “Pinkie Pie!” the four other mares shouted in unison. “What? It’s the first time I’ve said it! Well, technically the second, but I whispered the first, and I don’t think that it coun—“ Before she could finish her thought, a wicked sounding whinny boomed through the evening air. “What was that?” “It came from outside!” Pinkie Pie giggled in delight as she quickly wound the last crank. “It’s the Gift Horse!” *KRACK-A-THOOOM* That same morose call cried out into the winter storm just beyond their door. Applejack rushed over to help Rainbow Dash hold the door in place. With a click, the second horse grabber was fully cranked and Pinkie Pie beamed a feral smile. She galloped over to the door and pushed her two friends aside. The door flew open and once again the fireplace went out, casting the room in darkness. Pinkie Pie rose up on her hind legs, and stood fast against the wind, trying to see the creature out in the darkness. “Twilight, horn!” she shouted. A purple light burst into life behind her, illuminating the snow, and casting a long shadow before her. “Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, get to your stations!” “On it!” replied Rainbow Dash, soaring to her spot behind the first horse grabber. Fluttershy rushed to her position too, but was too terrified to utter anything above a pitiful series of squeaks. Pinkie Pie squinted out against the blizzard that raged around the bakery. She raised her right forehoof and waited for movement. She didn’t have to wait for long. Something, a form half-buried in the snow, rose up on its hind legs and whinnied into the night, wheeling it’s front legs through the air. Pinkie dropped her hoof back down to her side, and the horse grabbers fired. Two lengths of pink cord flew through the air, racing right past the party pony at high speed. In half a heartbeat, the figure outside found itself wrapped in coils against its will, and dragged into the eerie purple light emanating out of Sugarcube Corner. The whinnying continued and Pinkie Pie resumed barking orders. “Fireplace!” she yelled as she held one hoof up to her blindfold, ready to pull it down in a moment’s notice. “Get ready for the scare of your life girls!” “Wai—“ called Applejack, but it was too late. The fireplace was lit. Five ponies gasped. It wasn’t… it. It was much worse that it. It was Rarity. Her eyes were clenched tight and she whinnied again. The unicorn fashionista writhed and thrashed against the coiled mass that held her down. Then she peeked open one eye and focuses in one of the pink cords wrapped around her. “Tentacles!” she screamed, both eyes now as wide as saucers. “My horoscope was right!” The terrified white unicorn bucked and galloped in place as best she could shouting “Every mare for herself!” Somewhere beyond her, Rarity thought she heard laughter. Scratchy, loud, and infuriatingly familiar laughter. “Rarity,” said a calm and rational voice. Rarity, surprised as she was, tumbled over. When she looked up, she saw Twilight looking at her with pity in her eyes. “Twilight, help! Tentacles!” she begged. Twilight rolled her eyes, and helped her overly dramatic friend to her hooves. The pink cord glowed a soft purple and released its grasp on Rarity who clambered out of the mess and walked over to the fire place. It was only then that she was able to take in the rest of her surroundings. Pounding on the front door was a hysterical Rainbow Dash, who shook so hard with laughter that she had to fight for breath. Sitting next to her was Applejack, who was practically vibrating as she bit down on the rim of her hat to stop herself from laughing. Fluttershy flitted through the air and landed next to her and offered a few calming strokes of the back. Even Fluttershy had a curious uptick to the corners of her mouth. Rarity pouted at that fact. Twilight was walking in small circles and carrying on about ‘holidays’ this and ‘monsters’ that. Pinkie Pie, oddly enough, was grumbling to herself as she worked a large crank on some awful contraption of hers. With each rotation, Rarity watched as one of the dreadful pink tentacles began to wrap itself around… Rarity gasped. “Pinkie Pie... you did this to me?” “Sorry,” she said with a wince. “Sorry? Sorry?! Don’t you think your little prank was funny? Rainbow Dash certainly does.” A sudden question hit Twilight, “What were you doing out there, anyway?” “I discovered a letter on my door telling me to come over.” she said before turning to look at Pinkie Pie, “Though truth be told, I’d rather have finished that bottle of merlot by the fire if I knew that by ‘scary’ you meant ‘tentacles.’” “It wasn’t a prank. We’re trying to catch… it.” Rarity’s ears flattened. “It? What do you mean it? I… Oh. Oh my. Pinkie Pie, truly?” “Seriously? I’m the only one who didn’t know what it was?” asked Twilight. The other mares in the room nodded. Rarity rubbed her chin with a hoof. “But why?” before any of the girls could answer, she shot up and looked wildly about around the room. “How many times have you all said—“ Rainbow Dash, having regained a bit of her composure, pointed a hoof. “Twilight and Pinkie Pie are both at two.” Pinkie Pie nodded at the satisfying click from the first crank, and walked over to the second. “Presents,” was all she had to say on the matter. Rarity blinked at her. “She’s serious, isn’t she?” Again, the other mares in the room nodded. “Do you all have a plan for what comes after?” Nopony nodded. “So then why in Equestria are we doing this?” Pinkie Pie focuses back on the last crank and turned it while a dreadfully silence hung in the air. There was a final click and she smiled once again. “Because presents.” she said with soft finality. Taking a moment to glance at the door one last time, Applejack was the first to voice her assessment. “Shucks, I can’t leave now. Not when yer ‘bout ta summon some freaky critter from beyond.” “Pssh, like I’m gonna go to all this effort and not get a totally awesome present,” said Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy voiced a similar opinion “I’m just glad that we’re all together on Hearth’s Warming Eve.” Rarity nodded apprehensively. “I guess we’re all in,” said Twilight, her ears flattened against the top of her head. “Uh… Not that I’m scared or nothin’, but could I get a blindfold too?” asked Applejack. Blindfolds were distributed, instructions were given, and hugs were exchanged. Finally, Pinkie Pie moved into her position by the front door. She turned to look over her shoulder, ignoring the pinch in her knee. “Ready?” Five affirmations later, Pinkie Pie took a deep breath and flung the door open. Then she said those two terrifying words, “Gift Horse.” The fireplace went out and the girls all screamed, even Pinkie Pie. Outside there was no thunder. There was no lightning. There was no wind. There was no Ponyville.
Chapter 3Twilight Sparkle was trying desperately to think up a plan, but all the shouting just wasn’t helping. “WHERE DID THE WORLD GO?!” demanded Pinkie Pie staring into the blackness beyond Sugarcube Corner’s door. She reached a hoof out and tapped where the ground should have been. Should have been. “THERE WAS A PONYVILLE HERE, BUT IT’S GONE NOW!” “I… I CAN’T FLY. I CAN’T FLY!” shrieked a furiously flapping Rainbow Dash, jumping up and down as hard as she could. “Any ya’ll feelin’ particularly drained alluva sudden?” asked Applejack with heavy lidded eyes. “OF ALL THE POSSIBLE THINGS THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!” Rarity was somewhere off to Twilight’s left, sobbing her eyes out. “Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh—” if the shivering lump desperately hugging her right was of any indication, Fluttershy was still with them. Twilight fought through the lethargy that pulled at her senses, and pushed as much magic as she could muster into her horn to light the… light the... Twilight’s eyes went wide and she tried again. Still nothing. It was like all of her magic was just gone. Like it was never there in the first place. “I HAVE NO MAGIC!” The screaming ponies were struck mute when a sudden chill filled the otherwise still air, followed by a thud from the nearby pantry. A loud ominous thud followed by a bone chilling cry. “What was that?” asked Rarity quietly as she nervously trotted in place. Twilight shook her head, “I… don’t know. It doesn’t sound like any animal I know.” Fluttershy shook like a leaf, “I-it’s the Gift H-h-h—” was all she could manage before she shifted into squeaks and eeps. Pinkie Pie looked at the closed pantry door, next to the front counter of Sugarcube Corner, and rubbed the top of her head in thought. Then she looked back over to her horse catchers. Her, completely-stationary-and-aimed-at-the-front-door, horse catchers. “Oopsies,” she said. Rainbow Dash, still flapping as best she could but getting nowhere fast, looked over her shoulder at her cringing friend. “Whadda ya mean, ‘oopsies’?” Pinkie Pie sat down and tapped her forehooves together “I… I thought the Gift Horse would come in through the front door.” Twilight, having some time to adjust her eyes to the darkness, looked down at the bases of the two horse grabbers and noticed that they were both thoroughly bolted to the floor. “They don’t turn! Why don’t they turn?” “I thought it would come in the front door!” Pinkie Pie fired back. “But it’s in the closet, innit?” asked a sleepy-eyed Applejack, who was trying her absolute best to stay awake. “Pantry,” corrected Pinkie Pie. The strange voice cried out again, this time making different and yet still wholly alien sounds. “So you didn’t build them to turn?!” asked Rainbow Dash. “Who enters a house through a closet?!” Pinkie Pie replied. “Pantry!” The other girls corrected in unison. “WHATEVER!” shouted Pinkie Pie. The monster in the pantry called out, from its tone, there was no mistaking that it had heard Pinkie Pie’s sudden outburst. “What’ll we do?” whispered Rainbow Dash between rapid breaths. “Maybe y’all wanna take a nap?” said Applejack, curling up on the floor with her sleep mask on. “You can do what you want,” said Pinkie Pie as she slapped on her blindfold. “But I’m going to sit right here and get my present.” Before anypony could object, there a click; The sound of somepony turning a doorknob. Twilight swiveled in place and stared in dread as the pantry door began to open. Before she could get a good look inside, there was a second click. A mechanical click. And her vision was filled with blinding light. Fluttershy, in a blind panic, ran off as best she could, only to collide moments later with an equally frantic Rarity, knocking both girls to the floor in front of the counter. “Arg! My, eyes!” cried Twilight as she rubbed and blinked away the spots in her eyes. But the sight that greeted her eyes made her wish she hadn’t. It was the Gift Horse, and it loomed over the sleeping form of Applejack. With one of its large terrible eyes, it stared at an oblivious Pinkie Pie, and with the other it watched Rainbow Dash. Truly, this creature was the stuff of madness and nightmares. Its head was horse-like in nature, lending credence to the name Gift ‘Horse’. But that was where all familiarity ended. After that, it was all ‘welcome to crazy town’. The monster stood on two impossibly long legs, covered in plaid pants. It hunched over to move about, but at its full height it must have stood at least six feet tall. Six feet! The impossible creature crept along on its two legs with the troubling grace of a natural-born predator. It had a pinkish-tan hairless torso and two limbs, like bone filled tubes of taffy, jutted out of its brown furred horse neck and swung about with unnerving ease. At the end of each limb were fleshy claws that curved and curled as they gripped its portable light source and gripped the handle of a large burlap sack. The disconnect between the familiarity of the creature’s head, and the unnatural nature of the rest of it was almost too much for Twilight, who struggled to keep from fainting at the sight of it. Its breathing was hollow and heavy, and even when it jabbered on in its guttural alien language, its mouth never moved. It just hung open in an expression of perpetual surprise. But the worst part of it all? The worst part was the eyes. The eyes never blinked. Twilight tried to look away to save what was left of her sanity, but she couldn’t. Celestia help her, the Gift Horse was entirely upsetting and extraordinarily fascinating. Rainbow Dash stared at the two hoofless legs of the Gift Horse. They ended in long fleshy slabs with five little nubs at the front of each one. It was super creepy, but she knew that if she looked at the rest of it, then she’d probably go crazy like Applejack’s cousin’s Uncle’s boyfriend, or whatever. She watched it walk up to Applejack and leave a gift in front of the sleeping mare. That was pretty cool. Then it got up to walk over to her. That was definitely not cool. “T-twilight? It’s coming over here. What do I do? What do I do?!” asked a hiccupping Rainbow Dash. “I don’t know!” replied her friend. “Just… don’t look at it. And don’t make it angry!” The Gift Horse took another step closer and barked some gibberish at her. Rainbow Dash flared out her wings and lowered her head. “Go away!” she threatened as menacingly as possible. For what it was worth, the Gift Horse did take a step back. And then aimed its light at her. Rainbow Dash watched in horror as the portable spotlight lit up a circle of her flesh, going this way and that, looking for… something? Then it fell upon her cutie mark and the monster muttered something to itself before rummaging through its sack once more. Rainbow Dash trembled and fought against her equine instincts to flee, choosing instead to stand her ground and defend those she considered most precious to her. A box filled her vision. It wasn’t as tall as Applejack’s present was, but it was longer. And it was covered in happy clouds and rainbow wrapping paper. A little girly, but she appreciated the effort. “Hey, cool!” she said looking up with a smile, “Tha—“ “Rainbow, no!” squeaked Twilight. But it was too late. Rainbow Dash buzzed her wings uselessly as her eyes traced the monster’s every line and curve. Then her eyes rolled up into the back of her head and Equestria’s fastest flier passed out on top of her present. Pinkie Pie sat there with a grin on her face. She was finally going to get a gift from the Gift Horse! All these years of planning and psyching herself up for it had finally paid off. She could feel the creature get closer with each of its curiously heavy sounding hoofsteps, and with each step her curly tail swished left and right. The creature stopped in front of her, and she heard it kneel down. Her senses were invaded with the scents of rubber and… aftershave? She laughed as the two smells mingled and tickled her nose. The bizarre creature snarled at her in its alien tongue, but Pinkie Pie just kept on giggling. Soon there was the sound of rustling. Then lifting. Then something cool and papery was gently pressed against her chest. Pinkie Pie gripped the box and grinned like a maniac. “Thank you!” she said in a sing-song voice. She felt the monster pat her on the head, before she heard it rise to its hooves again. Listening hard she could hear the sound of two fleshy sounding hooves walking away. Just two. She couldn’t help but chuckle at that, “Wow, you must look super weird.” Huddled together by the counter, Fluttershy and Rarity squeaked and shivered as they waited for the creature to make its way over to them. Surely this would be the end. “Y-you know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, Rarity,” whispered Fluttershy. “Oh, Fluttershy… There’s something that I have been meaning to tell you as well.” “You go first.” “No, no I insist, you go first.” “Oh no, I couldn’t Rarity.” “Very well, on the count of three, then?” Fluttershy nodded. “One… Two… Three. “I love you.” “I’ve been charging beauty products to your spa account for yea… wait, what?” Rarity blinked at her beautiful yellow friend, and pushed herself out of their hug. “I’m sorry come again?” Something tapped Rarity on the shoulder, but she brushed it off. “You’ve been doing what, now?” Similarly, something tapped Fluttershy on the wing, but she couldn’t be bothered at the moment, “Oh Rarity, I… I just don’t know what to say. I m-mean I’m flattered and all, but—” Both ponies felt that curious tap-tap-tapping again, and they could ignore no longer ignore it. They both looked up from each other and shared a gasp. They’d forgotten the Gift Horse, but it did not forget them. It handed each pony a present. “Bwah-wha?” asked Rarity, before fainting. “G-g-g-gffffffffmmmmah,” agreed Fluttershy, as she fainted, too. It nodded at the two sleeping ponies and turned around to look for the last one without a gift. The purple one watching nervously. Curious, they usually fainted as soon as they saw the mask. Twilight eyed the creature as it strode over to her, dragging its burlap sack behind it with clear purpose. She looked left and saw a still blindfolded Pinkie Pie hugging her unopened gift. She looked right and saw the unlit fireplace. She started walking backwards as she spotted the other unconscious Elements of Harmony. This wasn’t looking good. She continued to back up, and it continued to follow her. Suddenly, her hind end bumped up against the unexpectedly cold glass of the window behind her, and she unfurled her wings with a gasp. Much to her surprise, the Gift Horse grunted something and stumbled backwards, falling on its posterior. It sat there in silence for a moment, and the two creatures from different worlds stared at each other. Then, curiously, it grunted something and gestured at her with its bony appendages. “Are… are you asking me a question?” Twilight hazarded to guess. The Gift Horse cocked its head at her in response. It didn’t ask its question again, instead choosing to crawl over to her on all fours. Twilight was cornered and had nowhere to run. She tried flapping her wings, but it looked like she was just as grounded as Rainbow Dash. Twilight hyperventilated as the alien creature from beyond the pantries of Sugarcube Corner reached out for her. It was going to touch her. She squeezed her eyes shut and found herself praying for a something, anything to save her. Even Discord would be a welcome site at this point. Then she felt it. The strange warmth of it, as it lightly grasped her horn, and flexed her right wing back and forth. She could feel its hot breath on her face, and she fought against every urge to simply let go of consciousness and let the blissful ignorance of sleep sweep her away. Then it stopped. The monster grunted in what sounded like understanding, and she heard the sound of crunching paper. A package was pushed up against her forelegs, and she opened her eyes. It had the most wonderful magenta wrapping paper, covered in glittery stars. “Ooh!” she praised, temporarily forgetting the terror that loomed over her, “Thank you very—” She did it. She cursed herself as she did it. She looked up and into the maw of terror itself. What she saw then, she’d never forget for the rest of her days. Beyond the rubbery teeth of this holiday monster, was a second mouth far back where the throat was supposed to begin. This mouth was small and smooth, smelling of fresh aftershave. Beyond its second set of pink lips was a plethora of teeth, some of them looked like small fangs, perhaps canine in nature. Then she caught a small flickering of light just above the second mouth, further up in the head. She steeled herself and gazed upon those hidden liquid pools so far inside the skin of this alien creature’s head. The Gift Horse had a second pair of eyes. They bored into her own, betraying an intelligence that the unblinking pair on the outside of its head seemed to lack. The second mouth spoke to her in the monster’s alien tongue, and she could no longer bear the horror of it all. Twilight Sparkle fell unconscious.
Chapter 4“Well, that’s the last of the presents, squeaky little horse things. Merry Christmas,” said the Gift Horse. The Gift Horse, or Michael as he was known back home, looked around the room and nodded. Another holiday miracle done right. And hey, one of the squeaky little horse things was still conscious. Bonus! Maybe he was getting better at this whole gift giving thing. He stood back up to his full height and bumped his head against the ceiling with a hollow thunk. “Ow! Freaking… tiny houses… Would it kill you to build these things just a little bit taller?” The pink one squawked out some horse-gibberish in response to his question and laughed. Michael rolled his eyes. “Yeah, laugh it up, fuzzy.” She did. Slouching back down, he turned and headed back towards the open pantry. When he reached it, he shut the door and fished a glowing key out of his pocket. He stuck it into the lock and turned it once. When he opened the door again, the inside of the pantry was gone, replaced by a curious workshop filled with stubby little elves running this way and that. They were assembling toys and wrapping bright packages in a flurry of activity. “Yo, Mike,” called out a particularly scruffy looking elf with a clipboard, “we got another door comin’ up in about a minute. This time on a world fulla sentient turtles.” “A minute? Come on, Buddy, I didn’t even have time to put on the whole horse costume for this one. How am I supposed to be dressed for the next one in a minute?” Buddy just looked at him. “Fifty-six seconds. Fifty-five seconds.” Michael walked through the pantry door as pulled it shut behind him as he called back. “Alright, alright, I’m moving. Where’s your Christmas Spirit?” “In Bermuda with my ex-wife. Now get changed.” Pinkie Pie sat in happy silence, holding her package. About a minute after the Gift Horse had left, she felt a sudden warmth on her right side. Her ears popped, and the sounds of Ponyville’s winter storm flared back into life outside Sugarcube Corner. She lifted up her blindfold and was rewarded with the sight of a shaky Twilight Sparkle sitting next to the relit fireplace. She placed the gift on her back and walked over to her shell-shocked friend. A moment later, the pink party pony was sitting next to her princess friend and smiled a soft smile. With concern in her voice, Pinkie Pie asked, “Um, Twilight? Are you alright?” “Never,” her jittery friend muttered, back. “Never what, Twilight?” Twilight turned her head to face her bubbly friend. “Never look the Gift Horse in the mouth.”
