A Hundred And One Ways to Use Books

by MoldyShishkabob

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random
Length: 1224

"TWILIGHT: I sure do love books!"

Twilight Sparkle, the prized former student of Princess Celestia herself, loves dusty old tomes. She loves them so much, she figured out a hundred unconventional ways to use them!

What if there was just one more way to use a book?

Preread by lunarstallion, HeartTortoisePigeonDog, and Hothead112.

Published 2013-12-16 17:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-16 17:10:04 UTC

Bººks

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a land of magical, talking horses. Said horses were actually called ponies and came in three flavors: dirt, water vapor, and mana. Each flavor has a special topping on it called a "cutie mark" that represented their special talent. Said special talent has absolutely nothing to do with this story due to it having very little to do with the personality of the pony. Unless there was a cutie mark of a cardboard box that signified that the pony was best at being a hobo, there should be little doubt that the previous point would be correct.

However, the cutie mark of this special pony that will soon be focused on actually had something to do with what the pony adored. Due to the hoofed mammal's cutie mark relating to magic, it would only be natural for the quadruped to enjoy the fine art of literature. Many who know the pony personally would say that the bookworm enjoyed the presence of the bound collections of paper too much for her own good.

Because it is tedious to not refer to this equine by name, it shall be said that the mana flavored pony was named Twilight Sparkle. She lived in a quaint little town by the name of Ponyville and served as the town librarian. The library also was her home and was given to her by her mentor, Princess Celestia. The horned pony that can be described with an adjective starting with an "l" and ending with an "ender" with maybe an "av" in between found the gift to not be as spectacular as staying so close to the Royal Library itself, but she eventually found out the reason why her teacher sent her to the village of ponies. She enjoyed being close to those with whom she was closely bonded; it was a massive bonus being with them and having so many books surrounding her.

She would never admit it, but her friends were not actually the ponies or things that she most treasured. More than anything in the whole, wide world, she loved books. She adored books so much that she couldn't get enough of them and devised ways of placing them into her life any way that was physically possible. It was stunning how many ways she placed books in her life other than using for reading.

It would probably be best if looking at her childhood creativity were to be first on the list. Her very first Nightmare Night costume was of a giant book, with a real book placed on top of her head as a hat. One could only imagine how adorable she appeared. She gave her decision little thought when she was to think of her first costume; a walking book fort was the best idea ever in her mind. It took more fabric to make a giant book slightly larger than their daughter, but they couldn't help but do whatever they could to make the purple filly happy. They were glad that their son was at least reasonable enough to not make such an odd request.

As it was common for her to promptly fall asleep while she was studying magic in preparation for her big entrance exam to the Princess's own school, she would use the textbook she was perusing as a pillow. On rare occasion, she had rested in bed as she read a book and would use the giant pages of a tome as a blanket when she fell asleep, ready to dream about playing her book fort with Mr Smartypants.

When she felt frustrated with a subject or was just really sad, she would often use the books to shoo things away; the action of swinging the hardcover books around was especially seen whenever she was being annoyed by flies and had nothing else to use for swatting. She also loved using Fanny Mare's Dusk series as projectiles when she was being "attacked" by her older brother, Shining Armor.

Likely the most creative idea she had were using some of her smaller, lighter books as frisbees when playing with Shining Armor. Naturally, he didn't approve, but the onslaught of guilt caused by looking at her large, sad eyes changed his decision. Nobody can ever resist the most potent of persuasive devices. Maybe this was the reason why she didn't have many acquaintances as a little filly? One could assume so, but it would be impossible to be certain as to the true reason behind such a situation.

Before it was time for dinner, the duo would directly dash to their dwelling and wait to see what their mother, Twilight Velvet, would be cooking for the last meal of their day. A little known fact, but the little magical prodigy used to love pranking the other ponies in her family. What changed that may or may not involve the Diarch of the Sun. Her favorite practical joke was the old "bucket on the door" prank. Of course, as she was a good filly who didn't want to damage the floor, she used a light paperback book balanced on the door. It was always the perfect distraction for her to slip between her mother's legs and make a break for it. Needless to say, she had to eat her alfalfa anyway.

At the time, her most creative uses appeared during the colder months of the calendar, when she would go outside and play in the snow. By this time, it was rather obvious that all books were equal, but some were more equal than others. She enjoyed using certain novels as snow shovels to make patterns in the snow, usually of one of her favorite fictional heroes or of one of her favorite dolls. Said novels oddly never had good reviews anyway; nobody questioned why she used them.

The more obvious of the two uses had to be her usage of larger books as sleds. By that time, she had learned how to at least prevent the snow from wetting the books, so Shining Armor felt slightly less cautious due to that fact. Only he was fine with it because she never let her parents know what she was doing with the books outside. Her first tries attempting to hold the enchantment and keeping her place on the book as it slowly slid down whatever slant she was on were rather fruitless, but she eventually learned how to do so and was overjoyed with being able to use her books in such a way during the winter.

Unfortunately, looking into one's past can only reveal so much, and these events are simply the first of many adventures she has shared with her best friends. Many years await the opportunity to be revealed as tales told to colts and fillies to unveil the stigma of boring books and open the eyes and hearts of ponies everywhere to the joys of using dictionaries as weights. The Tale of Twilight Sparkle and the Quest for the Almighty Book has only begun.

Author's Note

Ten ways so far.

This'll take a while. Especially with how I "update" stuff.

Ponified Stephanie Meyers name "Fanny Mare" by Yitzi.

Make suggestions, please! I'm seriously going to do as many as there possibly are eventually.